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In 1929, when I was 13, I was
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sent to a famous English boarding school for
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boys.
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In those days, life was pretty brutal at
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schools like these, and you won't believe this,
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but even now, 50 years later, if I
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sit for too long on a hard chair,
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I begin to feel my heart beating along
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the old wounds on my bottom where I
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was flogged.
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Do you want six with your dressing gown
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on or four with it off?
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The prefect used to say to us down
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there in the changing room late at night.
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This is a storey about those school days
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of mine, and for once, I have not
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made anything up.
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It's all true.
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Morning, Mr. Perkins.
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Thank you.
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Five days a week, for 36 years, William
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Perkins had been taking the 812 train to
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the city.
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He liked the process of commuting.
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There is a regularity about it that is
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agreeable and comforting to a person of habit.
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And in addition, it served as a sort
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of slipway, launching him gently but firmly into
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the waters of his daily business routine.
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One of his special little pleasures was to
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have his own particular seat in the same
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compartment with the same good, solid people sitting
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in their right places with the right umbrellas
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and hats and ties and newspapers.
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Until one morning, something rather disturbing happened.
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Chaps, take a mic, please.
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Mind the cigar.
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This is a smoker.
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You can do as you please.
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I just thought I'd ask.
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A matter of form, really.
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Form?
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Or seeing I'm the new boy.
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Pretty.
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Quite a popsy, don't you think?
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I find it rather early in the morning
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conversation, don't you?
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Good God.
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You remind me of my old company commander
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in the Coast Stream Guards.
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If a new subaltern so much as dared
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to say good morning to him, he barked
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back with seven in rapid fire.
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Good morning, good morning, good morning, good morning,
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good morning, good morning, good morning.
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And that's twice for a week.
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Very funny.
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Good chap, then.
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Work with him at the grind.
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He's your slave, darling.
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What's the matter with you?
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Letting a perfect stranger rattle.
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Ruined my day.
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Better not prove to be a regular.
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Morning.
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Morning.
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This year's here again.
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Afraid so.
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Third day running.
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Any idea who he is?
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North of August.
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My God.
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Galloping.
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Not after all these years.
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Not galloping Foxley.
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You beat me to it this morning.
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You're sitting in my place.
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No.
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These last mornings, you have been sitting in
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mine.
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Oh, you should have told me.
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I'd have swapped.
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I said I was the new boy.
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No.
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I was.
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I was the new boy.
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Glad we motored down, were you?
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Yes.
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You soon settled in?
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Yes.
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Best days of your life are just beginning.
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You see.
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Jolly fine school.
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I say.
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Don't they teach you better manners than that?
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It seems to me an apology is in
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order.
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I'm so sorry.
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I don't like your tone, sir.
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Really?
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You strike me as being impudent and ill
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mannered.
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I can only hope that you're the exception
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here.
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I shouldn't wish only some of mine to
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pick up such habits.
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Ah, Mr. Perkins.
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I see you've already met our head of
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house, Bruce Foxley.
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Very fine sportsman.
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All rounder.
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Football, cricket.
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His manners leave something to be desired.
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Really?
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I dare say it's the excitement of being
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back, eh, Bruce?
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Exactly, sir.
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Why don't you go and sort out the
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junior duty roster?
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Take your pick of the new chaps.
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With pleasure, sir.
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Well, Perkins.
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I expect you feel very much the new
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boy.
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Don't worry.
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You'll soon make your mark.
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Just what I've been telling him.
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Report to Natron there's a good chap.
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Chin up.
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Tickety-boo.
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Bye, Dad.
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Bye, William.
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Now, keep your pecker up.
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Right soon.
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Naturally, he feels he's walking into the lion's
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den.
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All the new men do.
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But he soon passes off.
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New boy, get that hat off.
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Perkins!
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Yes?
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You're mine, boy.
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Am I?
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My personal servant.
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Valet.
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Bedmaker.
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Dog's body.
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Washer-upper.
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Boot-cleaner.
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You're my slave, Perkins.
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Slave by the shine.
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Slave by the shine.
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Slave by the shine.
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Slave by the shine.
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Right, Perkins.
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Recite your duties.
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When the bell rings, I get up, dust
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the desk, clean his shoes, put out his
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clothes, polish the fender, clean the grate.
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Morning, Foxley.
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What do you think you're doing?
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Cleaning the grate.
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You're behind schedule.
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No.
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Shut up, slave.
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I'm breathing.
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You'd better get down to the bogs.
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Bogs?
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The lavatories.
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The water closets.
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The latrines.
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Les petits coins.
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The places of easement, boy.
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Do I clean them?
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If necessary.
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Then you warm the seat for me.
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And if it's not warm enough, then I
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warm yours.
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Something wrong?
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You're staring.
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I'm sorry.
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Do you imagine we've met before or something?
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I'm sorry.
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I know very well we've met before.
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Oh, yes.
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Oh, yes, Foxley.
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I could expose you for the perfect swine
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you were.
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You don't recognise me, do you, eh?
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Moustache.
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March of years.
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But I recognise you all right.
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Oh, yes.
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No.
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I've decided, Perkins.
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It's going to be with the dressing gown...
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off.
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Please.
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Off.
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Hurry up.
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Come on.
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Now, touch your toes.
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Tighter.
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Much tighter than that.
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Now, what are you?
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I'm...
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I'm a lazy little boy.
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Who can't light a fire?
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Who can't polish a button without smudging the
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uniform?
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What else are you?
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Don't know.
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I don't like your tone, sir.
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You strike me as impudent and ill-mannered.
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And your father's very particular about manners, isn't
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he?
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Well?
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00:12:40,120 --> 00:12:40,760
Well?
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It's a question requiring the answer.
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Yes, boy.
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Yes.
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Yes.
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00:12:51,350 --> 00:12:52,330
Stay still.
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Blubber, boy, and you get an extra stroke.
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This is why I'm known as Gallop in
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Foxleigh.
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It's because I always beat at the gallop.
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Psst.
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Oi.
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Psst.
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Perkins over there.
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How many did you get?
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Perkins?
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Yes.
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00:13:59,670 --> 00:14:00,670
Oh, he got five.
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Five.
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00:14:03,470 --> 00:14:05,030
Well, his dressing gown has two.
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Oh, yes.
239
00:14:07,910 --> 00:14:09,270
It was going to be four, but he
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blubbed.
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00:14:09,830 --> 00:14:11,390
He always blubbed with Foxleigh because of the
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runner.
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He goes down the basin passage.
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It's time for you to feel the pain,
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you see.
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00:14:17,010 --> 00:14:18,570
At first, you don't feel anything.
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Just a sort of blunt thud.
248
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A sort of numbing.
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00:14:21,750 --> 00:14:24,910
But after a few seconds, about ten, that's
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00:14:24,910 --> 00:14:27,190
the time it takes Galloping Foxleigh to go
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00:14:27,190 --> 00:14:28,390
down the basin passage.
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00:14:28,730 --> 00:14:30,730
Then it starts like a red-hot poker,
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00:14:31,310 --> 00:14:32,670
by which time he's galloping back.
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Whoosh-whack.
255
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Whoosh-whack.
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00:14:35,030 --> 00:14:35,990
Poor old Perkins.
257
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Perkins?
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Perkins.
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00:14:43,830 --> 00:14:44,190
What?
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00:14:44,610 --> 00:14:45,530
Show us the damage.
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Go on.
262
00:14:46,610 --> 00:14:47,330
No.
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00:14:48,090 --> 00:14:49,370
Come on, we're on your side.
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No.
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00:14:52,450 --> 00:14:53,170
Please.
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Come on, we're ever so sorry.
267
00:14:56,390 --> 00:14:57,490
Let's see the marks.
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Oh.
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Right.
270
00:15:06,680 --> 00:15:08,260
Rather far apart.
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Not up to Foxleigh's usual standard.
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Too close.
273
00:15:12,660 --> 00:15:13,820
It's actually touching.
274
00:15:14,820 --> 00:15:17,060
That low one's a rotten shot, but it's
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bled.
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Golly, Foxleigh's really got it in for you,
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Perkins.
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00:15:37,410 --> 00:15:38,590
What's the idea?
279
00:15:39,570 --> 00:15:41,230
Back to bed, all of you.
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So, Perkins showing off, is he?
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Is that it?
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Another peep out of any of you, and
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you'll get what Perkins got.
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All coming back.
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Small eyes.
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00:16:05,220 --> 00:16:06,200
Corrugated forehead.
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00:16:06,960 --> 00:16:08,420
The wavy, oily hair.
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The glove.
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00:16:12,900 --> 00:16:14,320
The white glove.
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00:16:33,300 --> 00:16:33,900
Catch.
291
00:16:35,640 --> 00:16:36,240
Butterfingers.
292
00:16:44,000 --> 00:16:44,600
Better.
293
00:16:45,640 --> 00:16:46,840
You're improving, Perkins.
294
00:16:47,520 --> 00:16:48,680
Thank you, Foxleigh.
295
00:16:49,420 --> 00:16:50,480
It took me all day.
296
00:16:51,280 --> 00:16:52,900
At first glance, that is.
297
00:16:53,940 --> 00:16:56,020
But we'll see what my patent dust detector
298
00:16:56,020 --> 00:16:56,920
can do, shall we?
299
00:17:09,829 --> 00:17:10,430
Good.
300
00:17:35,350 --> 00:17:35,950
Ah.
301
00:17:38,050 --> 00:17:38,650
So.
302
00:17:40,290 --> 00:17:42,970
You're a lazy little bounder after all, aren't
303
00:17:42,970 --> 00:17:43,130
you?
304
00:17:43,530 --> 00:17:44,650
I thought I'd just...
305
00:17:44,650 --> 00:17:45,310
You thought?
306
00:17:47,610 --> 00:17:50,210
Well, we'll meet later on, won't we?
307
00:17:51,930 --> 00:17:53,830
After prayers in the changing room.
308
00:17:53,830 --> 00:17:55,990
It was under the chair.
309
00:17:56,110 --> 00:17:59,370
As my slave, you clean my study.
310
00:18:00,230 --> 00:18:02,090
And clean means clean.
311
00:18:03,290 --> 00:18:04,330
Yes, Foxleigh.
312
00:18:05,470 --> 00:18:07,670
And you've forgotten the wild irises for my
313
00:18:07,670 --> 00:18:08,030
desk.
314
00:18:08,450 --> 00:18:09,530
But there wasn't time.
315
00:18:10,110 --> 00:18:11,430
There is now.
316
00:18:12,310 --> 00:18:13,390
The pipes are full.
317
00:18:13,390 --> 00:18:14,150
You'll have to hurry.
318
00:18:15,210 --> 00:18:16,930
The pond's only two and a half miles
319
00:18:16,930 --> 00:18:17,730
across the fields.
320
00:18:54,950 --> 00:18:57,430
A drowned rat.
321
00:18:58,570 --> 00:18:59,970
Don't come in.
322
00:19:04,320 --> 00:19:05,760
Only four.
323
00:19:09,010 --> 00:19:09,970
Hopeless.
324
00:19:10,330 --> 00:19:11,730
I couldn't reach.
325
00:19:12,170 --> 00:19:13,710
That's another stroke.
326
00:19:16,850 --> 00:19:18,010
Go on.
327
00:19:18,190 --> 00:19:18,950
Get your coat off.
328
00:19:19,570 --> 00:19:19,830
We need to talk.
329
00:19:19,830 --> 00:19:21,150
We need you to make more toast.
330
00:19:23,950 --> 00:19:25,470
What's your slave like, Julian?
331
00:19:26,190 --> 00:19:26,810
Shaping up.
332
00:19:27,510 --> 00:19:28,690
I picked a dud in Perkins.
333
00:19:29,670 --> 00:19:32,870
Idle, insolent, incompetent.
334
00:19:33,290 --> 00:19:34,490
Have to beat him almost daily.
335
00:19:35,250 --> 00:19:37,290
I'm developing muscles where I didn't even know
336
00:19:37,290 --> 00:19:37,750
I had them.
337
00:19:50,740 --> 00:19:52,180
You expect me to eat this?
338
00:19:53,700 --> 00:19:55,420
It's hardly done, this side.
339
00:19:56,360 --> 00:19:57,780
But you don't like it burnt.
340
00:20:04,600 --> 00:20:05,240
Useless.
341
00:20:10,180 --> 00:20:12,480
You've earned yourself another strike, Perkins.
342
00:20:15,020 --> 00:20:16,560
And to think...
343
00:20:16,560 --> 00:20:19,320
I used to write home and say I
344
00:20:19,320 --> 00:20:19,960
was all right.
345
00:20:20,440 --> 00:20:22,420
Except I got a cold because I was
346
00:20:22,420 --> 00:20:23,580
caught in the rain.
347
00:20:24,760 --> 00:20:26,980
Never a word about how he beat me.
348
00:20:29,100 --> 00:20:30,600
You beat me.
349
00:20:30,600 --> 00:20:32,420
You.
350
00:20:34,540 --> 00:20:37,180
Seven minutes to Camden Street.
351
00:20:38,680 --> 00:20:41,100
Seven minutes to Exposio.
352
00:20:42,460 --> 00:20:43,240
Foxley.
353
00:20:44,380 --> 00:20:45,320
It's...
354
00:20:45,320 --> 00:20:46,380
It's a thought.
355
00:20:47,580 --> 00:20:48,300
Yes.
356
00:20:49,800 --> 00:20:50,840
Why not?
357
00:20:51,920 --> 00:20:53,770
Why not?
358
00:20:58,130 --> 00:21:00,810
I wonder if I might have your attention,
359
00:21:01,190 --> 00:21:02,550
just for a few moments.
360
00:21:03,970 --> 00:21:06,830
I know it's not customary for us to
361
00:21:06,830 --> 00:21:09,690
speak very much on this daily journey.
362
00:21:10,790 --> 00:21:12,330
And I hope you'll forgive me.
363
00:21:12,910 --> 00:21:16,710
But this gentleman's presence...
364
00:21:16,710 --> 00:21:19,810
has prompted some old memories of my school
365
00:21:19,810 --> 00:21:20,290
days.
366
00:21:20,290 --> 00:21:20,390
Yes.
367
00:21:21,830 --> 00:21:25,250
Yes, it was a long time ago now,
368
00:21:25,350 --> 00:21:25,630
of course.
369
00:21:25,730 --> 00:21:26,970
But I remember.
370
00:21:28,090 --> 00:21:29,450
Yes, I remember very well.
371
00:21:30,190 --> 00:21:32,310
You see, I suffered.
372
00:21:33,030 --> 00:21:37,030
I suffered terribly at his hands.
373
00:21:38,070 --> 00:21:39,350
I was his slave.
374
00:21:40,490 --> 00:21:41,970
And I could never do anything right.
375
00:21:43,230 --> 00:21:45,850
Because he was a total sadist.
376
00:21:46,790 --> 00:21:49,490
What in the old days we would have
377
00:21:49,490 --> 00:21:51,070
called a bounder.
378
00:21:53,430 --> 00:21:57,170
He made my life a misery per year.
379
00:21:58,410 --> 00:22:01,790
I almost committed suicide because of him.
380
00:22:03,210 --> 00:22:05,210
He hasn't recognised me.
381
00:22:06,390 --> 00:22:07,990
But I've recognised him.
382
00:22:09,030 --> 00:22:09,750
Oh, yes.
383
00:22:10,970 --> 00:22:14,270
He was head of my house at public
384
00:22:14,270 --> 00:22:14,650
school.
385
00:22:14,650 --> 00:22:19,070
And he wielded absolute power over the new
386
00:22:19,070 --> 00:22:19,370
men.
387
00:22:20,130 --> 00:22:21,850
As we small boys were called.
388
00:22:22,530 --> 00:22:26,990
And as we know, absolute power corrupts absolutely.
389
00:22:28,390 --> 00:22:33,630
This man was a perfect Hitler to me.
390
00:22:34,910 --> 00:22:38,650
Any service not performed to his satisfaction...
391
00:22:39,350 --> 00:22:41,270
was a beatable offence.
392
00:22:42,270 --> 00:22:46,930
And how he loved to exercise that privilege.
393
00:22:48,750 --> 00:22:49,910
He used to carry the cane.
394
00:22:50,630 --> 00:22:53,610
That's just like the one he used to
395
00:22:53,610 --> 00:22:54,230
beat me with.
396
00:22:54,950 --> 00:22:57,270
So scientifically...
397
00:22:57,850 --> 00:23:01,910
his peculiar talent was torture.
398
00:23:02,930 --> 00:23:05,310
Mental and physical.
399
00:23:09,090 --> 00:23:10,250
Gentlemen.
400
00:23:12,370 --> 00:23:14,110
Galloping Foxley.
401
00:23:16,390 --> 00:23:18,090
Well, Foxley.
402
00:23:19,070 --> 00:23:20,890
Do you recognise me now?
403
00:23:21,810 --> 00:23:23,910
William Perkins.
404
00:23:24,890 --> 00:23:26,210
St Wilfrid's.
405
00:23:28,190 --> 00:23:29,930
I'm very glad to meet you.
406
00:23:31,370 --> 00:23:32,810
But I'm Fortescue.
407
00:23:33,730 --> 00:23:34,810
Jocelyn Fortescue.
408
00:23:34,810 --> 00:23:36,790
To Eaton, 1928.
409
00:23:39,010 --> 00:23:40,310
Ah, we seem to have arrived.
410
00:23:50,010 --> 00:23:51,170
Sorry, old boy.
411
00:23:51,830 --> 00:23:53,370
We all make mistakes.
412
00:25:06,030 --> 00:25:06,310
We all make mistakes.
25323
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