All language subtitles for Tales.Of.The.Unexpected.S01E07.Edward.the.Conqueror.720p.AMZN.WEB-DL.DDP2.0.H.264-HypStu_track3_[eng]

A long

time ago when I wrote this storey, I

never used to start work in the mornings

until I had listened to one or another

of the Beethoven quartets all the way through.

The idea behind this was that if I

soaked myself in these very great creative works,

then a little of Beethoven's inspiration might stick

to my own skin or my brain or

my fingers and come out in what I

wrote.

Of course that never happened, but one did

sit down to work in a marvellously uplifted

state of mind, which made it a little

more difficult to write absolute bosh.

What you're going to see now is a

musical storey that somehow emerged from this peculiar

habit of mine.

All right, I'm coming.

I've decided to clear this corner right out.

I'm sick and tired of all these rambles

and rambles.

Take a day or two.

Just don't overdo it, that's all.

Louise, I wish you wouldn't treat me as

if I'm an old man, wouldn't exercise, never

did anybody any harm.

Look.

What happens?

You silly cat.

What do you think you're doing?

You've scorched yourself.

Do you know whose this cat is?

Have you seen her before?

Never.

Well, now you go on home.

There's a good cat.

That's it.

Look, it's following us.

Sue, go home.

Go home, we don't want you.

It's no use, Edward.

Louisa, I'm not having that cat in the

house.

I don't like cats in the house.

No, you don't like anything in the house.

You don't like anything.

Go home.

I think it's a beautiful cat.

You would.

I hope it stays for a while.

Well, I hope it doesn't.

Anyway, it belongs to someone else.

It can't possibly stay here.

It's obviously lost.

Go home.

Louisa, if that cat is still hanging around

here this afternoon, you'd better take it to

the police.

They'll see that it gets a home.

How did you get in here?

You're an awfully nice cat.

I do wish I could keep you, but

you know, I'm not often allowed things that

I like.

Oh, you darling, what a lot of bumps

you've got on your beautiful face.

Bumps, bumps, bumps.

Oh, darling, you must be very old.

Well, oh dear, no, no, no.

Well, after I finish playing the piano, yes,

I've got to take you to the police

station.

Well, your owners must be frantic with worry.

Now, I hope you like music.

I play every afternoon.

You know, when I was young, people used

to say that I showed promise when I

married.

Well, enough said.

Now, we'll start with a little Schumann.

Yes?

What's the matter?

Did I frighten you?

Oh, perhaps you've never heard music before.

All right, I'm going to try you with

something else.

Yes?

Ready?

Now, am I imagining it?

Did you prefer the Liszt to the Schumann?

Well, that's a slightly vulgar taste, if I

may say so.

No, no, no, no, I do admit that

Liszt can be very charming sometimes.

All right, let's see what sort of connoisseur

you really are.

I'm going to play you a little Bach.

And what's wrong?

What's wrong?

What's wrong with Johann Sebastian?

What's so special about Franz Liszt?

I don't believe you know anything about music

at all.

I think you're a fraud.

All right, I'm going to put you to

a test.

Let's see how this grabs you, pussycat.

Oh,

no.

Edward!

Edward!

Please, come quickly!

Something wonderful has happened.

I'm upstairs, dear.

I'm up here.

I am coming.

Edward, something so wonderful has happened.

Now, I will try and tell you quietly

and calmly, but you know I can hardly

breathe for the excitement.

What's happened here?

Oh, please, don't.

No, don't touch them.

Leave them exactly as they are.

Louisa, what's the matter with you?

I thought I told you to get rid

of that cat.

I thought I told you to take it

to the police.

Did it do this damage?

Well, please, don't get worked up, because what

you don't understand is that something wonderfully exciting

has happened here in this house while you

were the guard.

Yes, yes.

The cat knocked over the statuette.

That must have been terribly exciting.

Exactly.

Louisa.

Yes?

Are you quite well?

I'm in robust health.

My dear, dear Louisa, I realise that we

lead a quiet life.

I know that apart from your music and

your cranky ideas, you have very little to

occupy you but really a cat, a stray

cat.

Getting up to mischief cannot, by the wildest

stretch of the imagination, be called exciting.

You're quite right.

Quite right, Edward.

I should have described what happened here this

afternoon as momentous.

Oh, Louisa, stop this nonsense and make us

some tea.

Not until I've told you what's happened.

You've told me the cat has broken some

very valuable ornaments.

Well, now, this is no ordinary cat.

This is a musical cat.

A musical cat.

Well, what does it do?

Whistle the anvil chorus?

You know, Edward, I'm deadly serious.

Now, I am not a fanciful woman.

I think I can say, not immodestly, that

I'm practical, hard-working, and down-to-earth.

Down-to-earth?

Louisa, what is all that spiritualism, theosophy of

reincarnation?

Be your own guru.

Yes, well, I was coming to that.

Now, I am a realist.

Yes, and that is why I know that

there are certain mysteries in life that cannot

be denied or in some cases explained.

And I believe that the immortality of the

human soul is one such mystery.

What has that got to do with a

cat?

Well, now, I will try and tell you

what I think in plain English.

I am listening.

I know you think I'm silly, but I

shall bear your scorn gladly.

Don't get it, Roy.

Just please come to the point.

Edward, I think that we are at this

moment in the presence of a great immortal

soul.

Yes, yes, of course, of course.

I believe that this cat is a reincarnation

of the great Hungarian composer Franz Liszt.

Oh, oh.

Franz Liszt twice.

Now, I heard her and saw him walk

to you once.

Let's see him do it again.

Oh, certainly not.

He's not a circus performer.

He is one of the world's great composers.

Oh, my dear woman, he is a cat.

He is the reincarnation of Franz Liszt.

Prove it.

I don't need to prove it.

I know the soul is there, and that's

good enough for me.

Let's see him perform.

Let's see him tell the difference between his

own music and someone else's.

I don't believe you're jealous.

Jealous of a miserable mangy old cat.

All right, you're going to be insulted.

The best thing you can do is to

go back to your gardening and leave the

two of us here together in peace.

If you want my honest opinion, I think

you're ill.

I think you need a doctor.

Pay no attention to him, my darling.

Oh, dear, no.

Pay no attention to him.

Nice Joe.

Oh, dear, if only you could talk.

Just thank you.

You knew Beethoven.

You met Mendelssohn and Schubert.

Good grief.

You were Wagner's father-in-law.

I'm looking for Wagner's father-in-law.

He wants proof.

Wills, Wills.

No, not Wills.

Oh, excuse me.

Milton.

Recurring Earth Mines.

F.

F.

F.

Milton.

Ah, F.

Milton Willis.

The Emerson Foundation Library.

We'll be heading back in half an hour.

Oh, oh, yes, I see you're interested in

reincarnation.

Well, now, the list is endless.

Epictetus came back as Ralph Waldo Emerson.

Cicero returned as Gladstone.

Alfred the Great came back as Abraham Lincoln.

And Julius Caesar as Teddy Roosevelt.

Yes, all these are proven facts.

Really.

Is there anything known about the famous composer

Franz Liszt?

Can't recall.

However, a colleague of mine, Professor Jameson, maintains

that Beethoven came back as Louis Armstrong.

I make no comment, but I'm rather doubtful.

Would you excuse me?

Oh, I'm sorry.

I beg your pardon.

And what about animals?

I mean, is it possible, would it be

probable for a famous person to come back

in the body of an animal?

I'm afraid I'm not very good about animals.

I have an allergy to fur.

But yes, there are known cases.

Napoleon Bonaparte came back as an Arabian stag.

Yes, a gift from Prince Ibn Saud to

Queen Victoria.

Oh, then, of course, there's that most celebrated

of reincarnations, Lord Byron.

Oh, I thought everyone knew about that.

Yes, Lord Byron returned as a Bengal tiger.

Unfortunately, he was shot on an expedition in

1906, led by the president of the Karachi

branch of our society.

If one was convinced, Mr. Willis, of the

reincarnation of someone famous as an animal, let's

say as a cat, for example, how would

one set about proving it?

Now, this is very interesting.

Usually, one would observe a physical resemblance, or

however slight.

Let's take the example of Lord Byron and

the tiger.

It was found that the tiger was lame.

Well, Lord Byron had a club foot, so

you see.

I can't tell you what the resemblance was

between Bonaparte and the Arabian stag.

The bumps.

Oh, I beg your pardon.

I do beg your pardon.

I could find out if you wanted me

to.

Thank you.

Thank you.

You've been so kind.

Anytime.

Anytime.

Now, perhaps you'd be interested in some of

the work that I've been doing recently on

a very great favourite of mine, George Washington.

Ah, yes.

I can prove three reappearances.

First, as Mrs. Lincoln.

Secondly, as the poet Whitman.

And third, third, and this is going to

really baffle the cynics, as the Dalai Lama.

That's it.

Look carefully at that photograph.

Now, what do you see?

Do you see his warts?

Well, he was famous for them.

His what?

Yes.

His students used to grow little tufts of

hair on their own faces, didn't they, to

look just like him.

Yes.

Five of them.

Now, feel the cat's face.

Feel me?

Yes.

Go on, hmm?

Go on.

Feel it properly.

Now, what do you feel?

Well, sort of bumps.

Exactly.

Five of them, Edward, in exactly the same

places.

Hmm?

Quad, earrape, and a little strangle.

Don't prove anything.

I'm afraid, maestro, I shall have to put

you to a little test.

Now, it is well known that Liszt admired

all of Chopin's works, except one.

And that was the Scherzo in B-flat

minor.

He called that the governor's, the governor's scherzo,

and he hated it.

So what?

Well, Edward, let's just see what happens.

Yes?

Thank you.

Now some of his own music.

What have you got to say for yourself

now?

I must say it's quite amusing.

Amusing?

Yes, amusing.

We've got Franz Liszt staying in our home.

It's the most wonderful thing that's ever happened.

I shall notify all the eminent musicians in

the world.

They'll think you're mad.

You make films, you give television interviews.

I'll have none of this.

Luisa, I absolutely forbid you to stir up

a lot of publicity about such a ridiculous

thing.

All right.

Keep the damn animal if you must, but

it'll go no further.

Do you understand that, Luisa?

Damn you, Edward!

For the first time in our lives, something

wonderful happens, and then you're scared to death

that somebody will laugh at you.

Don't talk, Luisa.

I realise that this is an awkward time

in your life.

My God.

You idiot, you pompous idiot.

Don't you see that this is something momentous?

I'll not have another word on this subject.

I'll tell you what you will do.

You will go to the kitchen and fix

me something to eat.

I am hungry and I want my dinner.

I am so sorry.

I didn't realise.

Oh, you must be thirsty.

I'm sorry.

I'll make you something very special.

Very special, my darling, just for you.

I won't be long.

I'll be right back.

Maestro!

Maestro!

Maestro!

Where is he?

Who?

You know.

Who?

Oh, the cat, I don't know.

I built the fire up so it'll burn

all night.

Edward.

I forgot my gloves.

These damn brambles will tear you to pieces.

Maestro!

There's nothing to get worked up about, Louisa.

Louisa, put that down.

Put that down, Louisa.

Put that down.

Louisa!