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[theme music]
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RADIO: Good morning Los Angeles.
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And what a beautiful
one it is too, right
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here in the City of the Angels.
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This is Jack Michaelson.
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What are you doing?
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I thought you wanted
to hear some music?
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Yeah, but he's talking
about the City of the Angels.
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Don't you want to
support the home team?
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Besides this guy Jack
Michaelson, he's OK.
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Really.
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Yeah, he did a show about
cops once and all the junk
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they have to put up with.
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I mean, the guy is great.
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He really knows what
he's talking about.
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Put it back on.
17
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There you go.
18
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RADIO: And we're here
today with Mary Ann McKenna
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talking about the
exploitation of women
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in general and beauty pageant
contestants in particular.
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Boy is this guy full of it.
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Well, you just said--
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I know what I just said.
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When he talks
about cops he's OK.
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When he talks about women's
lib he is full of it.
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00:02:31,360 --> 00:02:32,450
- Oh, you think so?
- Yes.
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I don't have to think so.
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I know so.
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Nobody on the face of this
earth has it as easy as women,
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especially good looking ones.
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Oh Mark, come on.
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Don't come on me.
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I mean, what is that old saying?
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Diamonds are a
girl's best friend.
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And what does a man get, huh?
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What does he get?
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A dog.
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Yeah well, there's
another old saying,
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don't judge a person until you
walk a mile in their moccasins.
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They don't wear moccasins.
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Men wear moccasins.
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They wear Gucci's, or
Pucci's or Gucci's.
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00:03:02,220 --> 00:03:03,060
Hey, I didn't make it up.
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Ask anybody.
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Ask the boss.
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If it wasn't for Eve we'd still
all be in a garden somewhere
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having to fix the grapes.
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Hey, Mark.
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MARK GORDON: What?
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You just ran a red light.
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Oh, come on.
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It was yellow.
53
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Well, I think it was red.
54
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So does the cop behind us.
55
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[police siren]
56
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Oh no.
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Sure glad I keep my
badge and my wallet here.
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Watch me handle this.
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Hey, pal.
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I used to be a cop myself.
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00:03:48,740 --> 00:03:50,780
I didn't mean to run
that light but my friend
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and I were arguing about all
this women's lib garbage,
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you know.
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Is that so.
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Cute, Jonathan.
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Cute.
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00:04:02,240 --> 00:04:05,390
[music playing]
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Worldwide Pictures,
what are we doing here?
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I don't know.
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00:04:19,210 --> 00:04:21,680
All I know is this is
where the assignment is.
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00:04:21,760 --> 00:04:22,360
Hi.
72
00:04:22,440 --> 00:04:23,510
What can I do for you?
73
00:04:23,590 --> 00:04:25,240
Jonathan Smith
and Mark Gordon.
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00:04:25,320 --> 00:04:26,400
Smith and Gordon.
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00:04:26,470 --> 00:04:27,360
Let's see.
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00:04:27,430 --> 00:04:28,760
OK.
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Park your car in
any unmarked spot
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00:04:29,920 --> 00:04:31,340
and then head up to security.
79
00:04:31,410 --> 00:04:32,860
Sam Quigley will give
you a lot passes.
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00:04:32,940 --> 00:04:35,360
Sam Quigley, he didn't used
to be a cop in Oakland did he?
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00:04:35,440 --> 00:04:36,740
Yeah, he used to
be an Oakland cop.
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He's head of security here now.
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Well, I'll be.
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Hey, thanks a lot.
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You bet.
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Wait till you meet Sam.
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You're going to love him.
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I mean, he's a great guy.
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He's a real man's man,
you know what I mean.
90
00:04:48,090 --> 00:04:49,590
How long has it been
since you seen him?
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00:04:49,660 --> 00:04:50,710
Oh, I don't know.
92
00:04:50,560 --> 00:04:52,680
10, 15 years.
93
00:04:52,760 --> 00:04:54,880
He's not in any trouble is he?
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He's not our assignment is he?
95
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Well, he's part of it.
96
00:04:59,970 --> 00:05:01,600
Gentlemen, you can go in now.
97
00:05:01,680 --> 00:05:02,730
Thank you very much.
98
00:05:05,470 --> 00:05:06,570
Hey, Sam.
99
00:05:06,650 --> 00:05:07,860
Hey.
Hey, Gord-o.
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00:05:07,930 --> 00:05:09,400
How are you buddy?
Hey, hey.
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00:05:09,480 --> 00:05:10,870
Oh, man it's good to see you.
102
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- It's good to see you, too.
- You look great.
103
00:05:12,240 --> 00:05:13,320
- Oh, yeah.
- Oh, Sam.
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00:05:13,330 --> 00:05:14,490
This is my friend,
Jonathan Smith.
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00:05:14,560 --> 00:05:15,750
Hey, how you doing?
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Fine, it's a
pleasure, you know.
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00:05:16,970 --> 00:05:17,770
Yeah.
Come on, sit down you guys.
108
00:05:17,840 --> 00:05:18,370
You wanna sit down?
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Go ahead.
110
00:05:20,230 --> 00:05:23,910
So, so you two are going to be
working for Linda Blackwell,
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huh?
112
00:05:24,950 --> 00:05:26,250
Linda Blackwell,
the movie star?
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Yeah.
Yeah, that's right.
114
00:05:27,920 --> 00:05:29,090
Well you couldn't be
working for a better person.
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00:05:29,160 --> 00:05:30,160
She's a hell of a lady.
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I'll tell you.
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She is that.
118
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We've done all right
for yourself, Sam.
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Head of security
for a big studio.
120
00:05:35,840 --> 00:05:37,590
You check out all the
new employees yourself?
121
00:05:37,670 --> 00:05:40,720
No, no just anyone who
works for Miss Blackwell.
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00:05:40,800 --> 00:05:43,520
I, I feel kind of protective
of her, that's all.
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00:05:43,590 --> 00:05:45,640
And with you guys set up
to be her new bodyguard
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00:05:45,720 --> 00:05:48,940
and hairdresser, well I,
just didn't make any sense
125
00:05:49,010 --> 00:05:49,910
when I looked at your resumes.
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00:05:49,980 --> 00:05:52,230
It, uh, it looked kind of fishy.
127
00:05:52,310 --> 00:05:54,240
Oh well, if you mean
Jonathan, I can vouch for him.
128
00:05:54,310 --> 00:05:55,400
No, no.
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00:05:55,480 --> 00:05:56,490
Smith checked out just fine.
130
00:05:56,560 --> 00:05:58,610
But what I couldn't
figure out is
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00:05:58,690 --> 00:06:01,450
what is a former Oakland
cop doing applying
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00:06:01,530 --> 00:06:04,120
for a job as a hairdresser.
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00:06:04,200 --> 00:06:05,960
A hairdresser?
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00:06:06,030 --> 00:06:07,150
Me?
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00:06:07,230 --> 00:06:08,170
But then I
figured, you know, I
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00:06:08,240 --> 00:06:09,790
haven't seen old Gord-o
here for 10 or 15
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00:06:09,870 --> 00:06:11,630
years and people do change.
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00:06:11,700 --> 00:06:14,260
And then your records
from your beauty college
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00:06:14,330 --> 00:06:16,170
checked out just fine.
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00:06:16,250 --> 00:06:18,930
From my beauty college?
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00:06:19,000 --> 00:06:20,760
SAM QUIGLEY: Yeah, right.
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Well, you two, why don't
you head over the stage 21.
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00:06:24,720 --> 00:06:26,390
Miss Blackwell's dressing
room is right there.
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00:06:26,470 --> 00:06:29,600
And well, here's
your ID and just keep
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it with you at all times, OK.
146
00:06:30,720 --> 00:06:32,350
All right, thanks.
147
00:06:32,420 --> 00:06:33,480
Why don't we get together
tonight and shoot some pool,
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00:06:33,560 --> 00:06:34,820
drink some beer
like the old days?
149
00:06:34,890 --> 00:06:36,740
Sure, you still
like to do that, huh?
150
00:06:36,810 --> 00:06:37,740
Well sure, why wouldn't I?
151
00:06:37,810 --> 00:06:39,390
Well, I don't know.
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You used to be a cop,
now you're a hairdresser.
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I just--
154
00:06:41,690 --> 00:06:43,120
Hey, what's that
supposed to mean?
155
00:06:43,190 --> 00:06:44,320
I was just
kidding, Gord-o, hey.
156
00:06:44,130 --> 00:06:45,490
All right, we'll
see you later.
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00:06:45,570 --> 00:06:46,840
- All right, see you.
- Take care.
158
00:06:46,710 --> 00:06:48,080
Nice to meet you.
- Nice to meet you.
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00:06:48,160 --> 00:06:49,010
Good bye.
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00:06:57,210 --> 00:06:58,060
Jonathan.
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00:07:00,590 --> 00:07:02,180
Jonathan, wait a minute.
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This is crazy.
163
00:07:03,400 --> 00:07:04,510
I don't know anything
about hairdressing.
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00:07:04,590 --> 00:07:06,380
Well, you must.
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How else could you have
graduated from beauty college?
166
00:07:07,320 --> 00:07:08,460
Look, I'm serious.
167
00:07:08,540 --> 00:07:10,270
So am I. Now,
the boss wouldn't
168
00:07:10,350 --> 00:07:11,850
give you this assignment
if he didn't think
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00:07:11,930 --> 00:07:13,310
you could handle it.
170
00:07:13,390 --> 00:07:14,730
Now, here.
171
00:07:14,740 --> 00:07:16,090
What's this?
172
00:07:16,170 --> 00:07:17,940
It's your hairdressing bag.
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Come on.
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00:07:19,610 --> 00:07:21,220
Oh, great.
175
00:07:21,000 --> 00:07:23,370
I haven't been a hairdresser
for five minutes already
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and I'm carrying a purse.
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00:07:34,450 --> 00:07:35,880
Hi, babe.
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00:07:35,890 --> 00:07:36,800
How are you doing?
179
00:07:36,870 --> 00:07:38,840
Oh, just fine, Todd.
180
00:07:38,920 --> 00:07:41,130
Listen we got that, that
big love scene this morning.
181
00:07:41,210 --> 00:07:43,680
Thought you might want
to go over it, you know.
182
00:07:43,750 --> 00:07:44,550
Yeah, yeah.
183
00:07:44,630 --> 00:07:45,510
I know.
184
00:07:45,590 --> 00:07:46,760
I know my lines.
185
00:07:46,840 --> 00:07:50,060
I wasn't talking about lines.
186
00:07:50,140 --> 00:07:54,310
Yeah well, why don't we just
save it for the camera, huh?
187
00:07:54,390 --> 00:07:57,530
Well, I can't play a
scene, you know, without,
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00:07:57,600 --> 00:07:58,900
without feeling the part.
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00:07:58,980 --> 00:08:00,540
Right the parts, not my parts.
190
00:08:00,610 --> 00:08:02,150
Just let go, Todd.
191
00:08:02,170 --> 00:08:06,280
I can't play a scene without
some feeling, you know.
192
00:08:06,290 --> 00:08:08,180
Well, I'll tell you
what, when we get out
193
00:08:08,250 --> 00:08:10,080
there why don't you just
close your eyes and pretend
194
00:08:10,160 --> 00:08:11,010
I'm your wife.
195
00:08:13,950 --> 00:08:18,340
Look, we're both
mature adults, you know.
196
00:08:18,410 --> 00:08:19,260
I got needs.
197
00:08:19,330 --> 00:08:20,710
You got needs.
198
00:08:20,790 --> 00:08:22,970
All God's children got needs.
199
00:08:23,040 --> 00:08:25,090
He really would like to
have his name used in vain,
200
00:08:25,170 --> 00:08:25,890
you know.
201
00:08:25,960 --> 00:08:27,190
Hey, take a hike will ya.
202
00:08:27,270 --> 00:08:29,430
I think that's what
the lady wants you to do.
203
00:08:29,510 --> 00:08:30,390
And who are you?
204
00:08:30,470 --> 00:08:31,420
Jonathan Smith.
205
00:08:31,490 --> 00:08:32,940
I work for Miss Blackwell.
206
00:08:32,650 --> 00:08:34,240
I'm Mark Gordon, in
case you're interested.
207
00:08:34,310 --> 00:08:35,490
I work for her too.
208
00:08:35,570 --> 00:08:37,190
Mark Gordon, my
new hairdresser.
209
00:08:37,270 --> 00:08:38,460
Hi.
210
00:08:38,030 --> 00:08:39,490
Mr. Richie raves about you.
211
00:08:39,570 --> 00:08:40,910
TODD JEFFRIES: The hairdresser.
212
00:08:40,990 --> 00:08:42,440
Well, why don't
you and Mr. Richie
213
00:08:42,520 --> 00:08:44,950
here go, uh, warm your curlers.
214
00:08:45,020 --> 00:08:47,280
Hey, enough with the
hairdresser jokes, huh.
215
00:08:47,290 --> 00:08:48,620
What are you going
to do about it?
216
00:08:48,690 --> 00:08:50,240
Hit me with your purse?
217
00:08:50,320 --> 00:08:51,200
All right, that's it.
218
00:08:51,280 --> 00:08:52,370
Uh, Mark.
219
00:08:52,450 --> 00:08:53,360
That's my job.
220
00:08:56,700 --> 00:08:57,940
Now when your feet
touch the floor
221
00:08:58,020 --> 00:09:00,050
you use them to walk
away, all right.
222
00:09:03,290 --> 00:09:06,140
Linda, you're going to hear
from my agent about this guy.
223
00:09:12,770 --> 00:09:15,060
Men are such idiots.
224
00:09:15,140 --> 00:09:16,980
Thank you, Smith,
but next time would
225
00:09:16,990 --> 00:09:18,520
you try and use a
little more finesse
226
00:09:18,600 --> 00:09:19,940
and a little less macho.
227
00:09:20,020 --> 00:09:21,530
I have to work with that man.
228
00:09:21,610 --> 00:09:23,050
Yes, ma'am.
229
00:09:23,130 --> 00:09:24,810
I'm no more impressed
with men brawling over me
230
00:09:24,290 --> 00:09:26,070
than I am with that
jerk trying to paw me.
231
00:09:26,150 --> 00:09:27,620
I'll remember
that Miss Blackwell.
232
00:09:27,690 --> 00:09:28,760
Thank you.
233
00:09:28,830 --> 00:09:30,330
Now Mark, would you curl me out?
234
00:09:30,410 --> 00:09:32,090
We'll have a little girl
talk in my dressing room.
235
00:09:44,040 --> 00:09:45,170
Well don't just stand there.
236
00:09:45,250 --> 00:09:47,680
Come on in.
237
00:09:47,750 --> 00:09:49,390
So what do you think?
238
00:09:49,460 --> 00:09:50,850
About what?
239
00:09:50,920 --> 00:09:51,910
My hair, silly.
240
00:09:51,990 --> 00:09:55,230
Do you think I should cut it?
241
00:09:55,300 --> 00:09:58,190
Oh, I don't know.
242
00:09:58,260 --> 00:10:01,360
Maybe a little trim
around the ears.
243
00:10:01,430 --> 00:10:03,030
Trim around the ears?
244
00:10:03,100 --> 00:10:05,690
Yeah, that's all
I ever do with mine.
245
00:10:05,770 --> 00:10:07,200
Oh, trim around the ears.
Very cute.
246
00:10:07,270 --> 00:10:08,980
Now come on, the truth,
what do you think?
247
00:10:09,060 --> 00:10:11,910
Truth is I think you came
down kind of hard on Jonathan.
248
00:10:11,990 --> 00:10:13,700
Jonathan Smith?
249
00:10:13,780 --> 00:10:15,200
Yeah, he was just
trying to protect you.
250
00:10:15,280 --> 00:10:16,410
Oh, he's not.
251
00:10:16,490 --> 00:10:17,410
He's just trying to impress me.
252
00:10:17,490 --> 00:10:18,640
Come on.
253
00:10:18,720 --> 00:10:19,700
I've been around
these muscle boys.
254
00:10:19,780 --> 00:10:20,630
All these men are alike.
255
00:10:20,700 --> 00:10:22,130
They're just all on the make.
256
00:10:22,140 --> 00:10:23,190
Come on.
257
00:10:23,260 --> 00:10:24,260
Not all men are like that.
258
00:10:24,340 --> 00:10:27,800
Well maybe you're not,
but you know what I mean.
259
00:10:27,880 --> 00:10:31,220
Listen, Jonathan is
not like that either.
260
00:10:31,300 --> 00:10:34,770
I'm sure he's a perfect angel.
261
00:10:34,840 --> 00:10:36,230
You know, you're
right about that.
262
00:10:39,610 --> 00:10:41,400
Oh listen, I'm really sorry.
263
00:10:41,470 --> 00:10:44,940
I didn't mean to say
anything to upset you.
264
00:10:45,020 --> 00:10:48,110
I guess I was really
wrong about Jonathan.
265
00:10:48,190 --> 00:10:51,210
So how long have you
two been together?
266
00:10:51,280 --> 00:10:52,830
Oh, we've been going
around the country
267
00:10:52,900 --> 00:10:55,790
together for about a
year and a half and--
268
00:10:55,860 --> 00:10:57,060
hey wait a minute.
269
00:10:57,140 --> 00:10:59,500
What are you talking about here?
270
00:10:59,580 --> 00:11:00,710
Well, about you Jonathan.
271
00:11:00,780 --> 00:11:02,500
What about me and Jonathan?
272
00:11:02,580 --> 00:11:04,720
Hey, why are you getting
so defensive, Mark?
273
00:11:04,800 --> 00:11:05,990
I mean, I don't care.
274
00:11:06,070 --> 00:11:07,390
I mean, live and
let live, you know.
275
00:11:07,470 --> 00:11:09,800
Hey now, just, just hold it
here one second, all right.
276
00:11:09,880 --> 00:11:11,090
[knock on door]
277
00:11:11,170 --> 00:11:12,860
JONATHAN SMITH: Excuse
me, Miss Blackwell.
278
00:11:12,940 --> 00:11:14,760
I'm sorry to interrupt, but
you're wanted on the set.
279
00:11:14,840 --> 00:11:15,720
Oh, yeah.
280
00:11:15,800 --> 00:11:16,770
I'll be right there.
281
00:11:16,840 --> 00:11:20,100
I'll see you after lunch, Mark.
282
00:11:20,110 --> 00:11:21,810
Jonathan, I just wanted
to say I'm sorry I
283
00:11:21,890 --> 00:11:23,070
was so catty this morning.
284
00:11:23,150 --> 00:11:25,520
I think you and Mark
will work out just fine.
285
00:11:25,600 --> 00:11:26,450
Thank you very much.
286
00:11:28,980 --> 00:11:31,490
Hey, looks like you two
really hit it off, huh.
287
00:11:31,570 --> 00:11:32,410
I mean, that's it.
288
00:11:32,480 --> 00:11:33,870
I'm off this assignment.
289
00:11:33,940 --> 00:11:35,030
I mean, I can't handle this one.
290
00:11:35,040 --> 00:11:35,990
I'm out.
I'm gone.
291
00:11:36,070 --> 00:11:36,880
I'm history.
292
00:11:36,950 --> 00:11:39,200
I mean, no way Jose.
293
00:11:39,280 --> 00:11:41,010
All right, if
that's what you feel.
294
00:11:41,080 --> 00:11:43,420
Of course you'll sure be
letting your buddy Sam down.
295
00:11:43,490 --> 00:11:45,230
What do you mean?
296
00:11:45,300 --> 00:11:46,800
Just like I told you,
he's part of the assignment.
297
00:11:46,870 --> 00:11:48,460
Look Jonathan, you
don't understand.
298
00:11:48,540 --> 00:11:49,970
It's not important
that I understand.
299
00:11:50,040 --> 00:11:51,380
I didn't give the assignment.
300
00:11:51,460 --> 00:11:52,570
The boss did.
301
00:11:52,640 --> 00:11:54,930
If you want out of
it, just tell him.
302
00:11:55,010 --> 00:11:56,310
See you in the commissary.
303
00:11:58,720 --> 00:12:00,140
OK.
OK.
304
00:12:00,220 --> 00:12:01,280
But I don't like it.
305
00:12:04,990 --> 00:12:06,770
Hey, guys.
306
00:12:06,850 --> 00:12:07,860
Do you mind if I
pull up a chair.
307
00:12:07,940 --> 00:12:11,030
Sure, come on.
308
00:12:11,100 --> 00:12:13,610
Beer and a couple of racks
of pool tonight, right?
309
00:12:13,690 --> 00:12:15,240
You got it, pal.
310
00:12:15,320 --> 00:12:18,040
Hey, Jonathan, I hear you
had a run in with that jerk
311
00:12:18,110 --> 00:12:19,870
Todd Jeffries this morning.
312
00:12:19,950 --> 00:12:21,480
Word travels fast, huh?
313
00:12:21,090 --> 00:12:22,540
Yeah well, I wouldn't
worry about it.
314
00:12:22,620 --> 00:12:24,580
If that jerk tries
anything with his agent
315
00:12:24,660 --> 00:12:27,170
I'll back you up all the way.
316
00:12:27,180 --> 00:12:28,500
He's lucky it was
you instead of me
317
00:12:28,580 --> 00:12:29,960
because if that clown
had tried anything
318
00:12:30,040 --> 00:12:31,260
with Linda with me
around he'd be picking
319
00:12:31,330 --> 00:12:33,040
pavement out of his teeth.
320
00:12:33,120 --> 00:12:35,510
Oh, sounds like you
really care about her, huh?
321
00:12:35,590 --> 00:12:36,760
Yeah.
322
00:12:36,840 --> 00:12:37,720
Yeah.
323
00:12:37,730 --> 00:12:39,100
I guess so.
324
00:12:39,170 --> 00:12:41,190
You ever told her so?
325
00:12:41,270 --> 00:12:43,140
What are you talking about?
326
00:12:43,220 --> 00:12:44,860
I mean, you're
single, she's single,
327
00:12:44,940 --> 00:12:47,740
you both seem like nice people,
so why don't you ask her out?
328
00:12:47,820 --> 00:12:50,030
Are you kidding me?
329
00:12:50,100 --> 00:12:51,900
Hey come on, she doesn't
even know I'm alive.
330
00:12:51,980 --> 00:12:53,120
Yeah well, whose
fault is that?
331
00:12:53,200 --> 00:12:54,110
SAM QUIGLEY: Come on, Mark.
332
00:12:54,190 --> 00:12:55,360
She's a movie star.
333
00:12:55,440 --> 00:12:56,960
I'm a cop.
334
00:12:56,500 --> 00:12:59,540
She's a person,
maybe she's lonely.
335
00:12:59,610 --> 00:13:01,590
Are you kidding me, huh?
336
00:13:01,660 --> 00:13:03,750
Come on, she's one of the most
beautiful women in the world.
337
00:13:03,760 --> 00:13:05,830
She's got leading men
hitting on her all the time.
338
00:13:05,910 --> 00:13:06,980
Oh, I know.
339
00:13:07,050 --> 00:13:08,440
I met one of them this morning.
340
00:13:08,520 --> 00:13:10,050
If he's any example it's
no wonder she doesn't
341
00:13:10,120 --> 00:13:11,710
have a high opinion of men.
342
00:13:11,790 --> 00:13:13,380
You know he's right, Sam.
343
00:13:13,460 --> 00:13:14,620
I mean, what's it going
to hurt to ask her out?
344
00:13:14,690 --> 00:13:16,890
My pride when she
laughs in my face.
345
00:13:16,960 --> 00:13:18,350
Hey, if she does
that, she's not somebody
346
00:13:18,430 --> 00:13:20,360
you should take out
in the first place.
347
00:13:20,430 --> 00:13:22,060
Yeah.
348
00:13:22,130 --> 00:13:24,310
Yeah, I know.
349
00:13:24,390 --> 00:13:26,900
Look if I thought I had
half a chance why I'd--
350
00:13:26,970 --> 00:13:30,110
hey, you know what, you know,
you could check it out for me.
351
00:13:30,180 --> 00:13:31,400
I mean, really, you could.
352
00:13:31,480 --> 00:13:32,400
You could see if she,
she wouldn't mind
353
00:13:32,480 --> 00:13:33,900
me asking her out, you know.
354
00:13:33,980 --> 00:13:34,860
I mean, come on.
355
00:13:34,940 --> 00:13:36,320
Women, women confide.
356
00:13:36,400 --> 00:13:38,120
They talk straight to the
hairdressers all the time.
357
00:13:38,190 --> 00:13:39,460
All right, all right.
358
00:13:39,540 --> 00:13:40,180
I'll see what I can find out.
359
00:13:40,260 --> 00:13:41,250
That guy.
That's good.
360
00:13:41,330 --> 00:13:42,040
Thanks.
361
00:13:42,110 --> 00:13:43,620
Thanks, Mark.
362
00:13:43,700 --> 00:13:45,120
Hey, guys I'll see you later.
I gotta go to work.
363
00:13:45,200 --> 00:13:46,040
- Right.
- All right.
364
00:13:46,120 --> 00:13:48,920
See you.
365
00:13:48,990 --> 00:13:52,510
Boy, he is really
stuck on her.
366
00:13:52,590 --> 00:13:56,550
And the ball's in
your court now, Cupid.
367
00:13:56,630 --> 00:13:57,430
Oh, boy.
368
00:14:05,550 --> 00:14:08,270
So Mark, what's all this
stuff about Sam Quigley.
369
00:14:08,350 --> 00:14:10,110
He's a great guy, that's all.
370
00:14:10,180 --> 00:14:10,980
Great guy.
371
00:14:11,060 --> 00:14:11,940
Come on.
372
00:14:12,020 --> 00:14:13,070
No such thing.
373
00:14:13,140 --> 00:14:14,600
Oh, will you give me a break.
374
00:14:14,680 --> 00:14:17,160
You act like it's so tough
being a beautiful woman.
375
00:14:17,240 --> 00:14:18,200
Well, it is tough.
376
00:14:18,270 --> 00:14:19,780
It's brutal sometimes.
377
00:14:19,860 --> 00:14:21,150
You know what's tough?
378
00:14:21,230 --> 00:14:22,160
I'll tell you what's
tough, working
379
00:14:22,240 --> 00:14:23,950
in a coal pit, that's tough.
380
00:14:24,030 --> 00:14:25,620
I mean, your life's
a bed of roses.
381
00:14:25,700 --> 00:14:27,250
All you got to do is
just smile a little bit.
382
00:14:27,320 --> 00:14:29,580
Do a little goochie,
goochie, say your lines,
383
00:14:29,660 --> 00:14:30,880
collect a million bucks.
384
00:14:30,950 --> 00:14:32,900
God I wish I were in your shoes.
385
00:14:32,970 --> 00:14:34,800
Well, God, I wish I was a man
for just long enough to show--
386
00:14:34,870 --> 00:14:36,680
[thunder crashing]
387
00:14:37,710 --> 00:14:38,980
What happened?
388
00:14:39,050 --> 00:14:40,140
Well, must have blown a fuse.
389
00:14:40,210 --> 00:14:42,970
Hey Jonathan, somebody
hit the break--
390
00:14:43,050 --> 00:14:44,360
MOVIE CREW: Somebody
hit the breakers.
391
00:14:47,390 --> 00:14:48,440
OK boys, we're back on.
392
00:14:48,510 --> 00:14:49,360
Let's go.
393
00:14:57,230 --> 00:15:02,070
(GROANING) Come on Jonathan,
let's get out of here.
394
00:15:02,150 --> 00:15:03,880
I'm no good at this Cupid stuff.
395
00:15:03,950 --> 00:15:07,880
Besides I can't
take any more that--
396
00:15:07,960 --> 00:15:11,000
what's wrong with
my voi- my body.
397
00:15:11,080 --> 00:15:13,500
This isn't my body.
398
00:15:13,580 --> 00:15:14,640
Oh, my gosh.
399
00:15:14,710 --> 00:15:17,550
My body died.
400
00:15:17,620 --> 00:15:19,010
No, no it didn't.
401
00:15:19,080 --> 00:15:22,050
She just fainted.
402
00:15:22,130 --> 00:15:24,430
She?
403
00:15:24,510 --> 00:15:25,360
She.
404
00:15:36,870 --> 00:15:39,290
[music playing]
405
00:15:43,780 --> 00:15:44,790
I can't believe it.
406
00:15:44,870 --> 00:15:47,620
I'm in her body
and she's in mine?
407
00:15:47,700 --> 00:15:49,620
That's the way
it looks from here.
408
00:15:49,700 --> 00:15:53,130
Oh Jonathan, how
could you do that?
409
00:15:53,200 --> 00:15:54,080
Whoa.
410
00:15:54,160 --> 00:15:55,290
Hey, you all right, buddy?
411
00:15:55,370 --> 00:15:56,800
I don't know, I felt
like I was walking
412
00:15:56,870 --> 00:15:58,130
downhill for a minute there.
413
00:15:58,210 --> 00:15:59,340
Oh, it must be the heels.
414
00:15:59,420 --> 00:16:00,420
- What?
- Your heels.
415
00:16:00,500 --> 00:16:01,350
You got heels.
416
00:16:04,380 --> 00:16:05,300
God.
417
00:16:05,380 --> 00:16:06,390
Oh, my God.
418
00:16:06,470 --> 00:16:08,720
How do they walk
in these things?
419
00:16:08,800 --> 00:16:10,730
All right Jonathan, fun is fun.
420
00:16:10,800 --> 00:16:12,350
Put me back.
421
00:16:12,430 --> 00:16:13,310
Come on.
422
00:16:13,390 --> 00:16:14,320
What are you waiting for?
423
00:16:14,400 --> 00:16:16,310
Put me back before she wakes up.
424
00:16:16,390 --> 00:16:17,350
I can't do that.
425
00:16:17,430 --> 00:16:18,820
What do you mean
you can't do that?
426
00:16:18,890 --> 00:16:20,610
You put me in here,
now get me out.
427
00:16:20,690 --> 00:16:22,450
I didn't put you in there.
428
00:16:22,520 --> 00:16:23,660
You mean the boss?
429
00:16:23,730 --> 00:16:24,870
Yeah.
430
00:16:24,940 --> 00:16:26,030
You didn't say, I
wish to Jonathan.
431
00:16:26,110 --> 00:16:28,490
You said, I wish to God.
432
00:16:28,570 --> 00:16:31,660
Well don't just stand there,
tell him to do something.
433
00:16:31,740 --> 00:16:33,500
Well, I think he already did.
434
00:16:33,580 --> 00:16:34,840
Oh that's cute Jonathan.
435
00:16:34,920 --> 00:16:36,370
That's really cute.
436
00:16:36,440 --> 00:16:44,130
(GROANING) Oh, my
goodness gracious.
437
00:16:44,210 --> 00:16:45,020
Oh.
438
00:16:48,550 --> 00:16:50,100
Oh.
439
00:16:50,180 --> 00:16:52,650
Oh.
440
00:16:52,730 --> 00:16:53,640
Great.
441
00:16:53,720 --> 00:16:54,620
That's just great.
442
00:16:54,700 --> 00:16:56,060
She's out again.
443
00:16:56,140 --> 00:16:57,550
I can't say I blame her.
444
00:16:57,620 --> 00:16:59,070
I'd probably faint too
if I looked in the mirror
445
00:16:59,140 --> 00:17:01,940
and saw you staring back at me.
446
00:17:02,020 --> 00:17:03,510
One more word, Jonathan.
447
00:17:03,590 --> 00:17:05,320
I'm telling you, one more
word and angel or no angel,
448
00:17:05,400 --> 00:17:06,200
it's five to the chops.
449
00:17:06,270 --> 00:17:07,200
[knock on door]
450
00:17:07,280 --> 00:17:08,160
I'll get it.
451
00:17:08,240 --> 00:17:10,040
What do you mean
you'll get it?
452
00:17:10,110 --> 00:17:11,500
You can't let anyone in there
with me looking like this.
453
00:17:11,570 --> 00:17:13,580
Oh, come on Mark, you've only
been a woman for a few minutes
454
00:17:13,660 --> 00:17:15,330
and you're already worried
about the way you look.
455
00:17:15,410 --> 00:17:17,750
You can't let anybody
see me like this.
456
00:17:17,830 --> 00:17:20,380
Why?
457
00:17:20,460 --> 00:17:23,010
I've got bosoms.
458
00:17:23,080 --> 00:17:24,550
- Everything OK in here?
- Yeah, sure.
459
00:17:24,630 --> 00:17:25,920
Everything's fine.
460
00:17:25,990 --> 00:17:26,640
Why shouldn't
everything be fine?
461
00:17:26,710 --> 00:17:27,790
I don't know?
462
00:17:27,860 --> 00:17:29,550
I heard somebody scream.
463
00:17:29,630 --> 00:17:30,850
Yeah, that was her.
464
00:17:30,920 --> 00:17:31,810
Who?
465
00:17:31,880 --> 00:17:33,180
Her.
466
00:17:33,260 --> 00:17:35,440
Who her?
467
00:17:35,510 --> 00:17:37,060
Him her.
468
00:17:37,140 --> 00:17:38,030
Mark Gordon saw a mouse.
469
00:17:38,110 --> 00:17:39,280
That's all, just a little mouse.
470
00:17:39,360 --> 00:17:41,440
Oh, hairdressers.
471
00:17:41,520 --> 00:17:44,490
Listen you little twerp,
cut the hairdresser stuff.
472
00:17:44,500 --> 00:17:45,740
I'm as much of a man as you are.
473
00:17:45,810 --> 00:17:46,910
Yes, ma'am.
474
00:17:46,980 --> 00:17:48,780
Whatever you say,
Miss Blackwell.
475
00:17:48,860 --> 00:17:50,660
Uh, they, uh, want you
on the set now, ma'am.
476
00:17:50,740 --> 00:17:52,870
Yeah well, tell them to hold
their water till I get there,
477
00:17:52,950 --> 00:17:54,420
you know.
- Yes, ma'am.
478
00:18:05,680 --> 00:18:06,590
Where's Linda?
479
00:18:06,670 --> 00:18:07,510
She OK?
480
00:18:07,590 --> 00:18:09,100
Uh, I don't know.
481
00:18:09,180 --> 00:18:10,870
What do you
mean, I don't know?
482
00:18:10,950 --> 00:18:12,600
Well, I went over there
after I heard the scream
483
00:18:12,670 --> 00:18:15,060
and she told me that her
hairdresser had seen a mouse,
484
00:18:15,140 --> 00:18:18,060
and then she told me she was
just as big a man as I was
485
00:18:18,140 --> 00:18:22,230
and for you to hold your water.
486
00:18:22,310 --> 00:18:24,990
Actresses.
487
00:18:25,060 --> 00:18:26,950
See Jonathan here
really is an angel,
488
00:18:27,020 --> 00:18:30,280
and well, when you and I
wished to God that we could
489
00:18:30,360 --> 00:18:32,030
trade places, well
he heard us and now
490
00:18:32,110 --> 00:18:33,910
I'm stuck with your body.
491
00:18:33,990 --> 00:18:36,160
You're stuck with mine.
492
00:18:36,240 --> 00:18:36,910
Right.
493
00:18:36,990 --> 00:18:39,040
Right.
494
00:18:39,120 --> 00:18:40,630
He's taking this a
lot better than I did.
495
00:18:40,700 --> 00:18:41,960
Yeah.
496
00:18:42,040 --> 00:18:43,700
Look, I wish I
could tell you how
497
00:18:43,350 --> 00:18:45,630
long you have to be like this,
but it's just not up to me.
498
00:18:45,710 --> 00:18:48,430
Right, I understand.
499
00:18:48,500 --> 00:18:50,100
You know I got
to hand it to you,
500
00:18:50,180 --> 00:18:53,930
you really got a lot of
guts taking it this calm.
501
00:18:54,010 --> 00:18:55,560
Right.
502
00:18:55,630 --> 00:18:57,810
Ahhh.
503
00:18:57,890 --> 00:18:59,810
What the hell is
going on in there?
504
00:18:59,890 --> 00:19:01,030
Must be another mouse.
505
00:19:04,480 --> 00:19:06,940
Now listen Miss Blackwell,
you gotta stop screaming.
506
00:19:06,950 --> 00:19:08,080
You understand?
507
00:19:10,710 --> 00:19:11,620
OK.
508
00:19:14,360 --> 00:19:15,330
Thank you.
509
00:19:15,400 --> 00:19:17,870
Ahhh.
510
00:19:17,880 --> 00:19:19,210
There it is again.
511
00:19:19,280 --> 00:19:21,180
What are they doing to
that poor guy in there?
512
00:19:23,790 --> 00:19:26,130
Get your hand off my mouth.
513
00:19:26,210 --> 00:19:29,050
Get your hand off my
mouth this instant.
514
00:19:29,130 --> 00:19:32,300
You promise to be a good
girl and not scream anymore?
515
00:19:32,380 --> 00:19:33,180
Yes.
516
00:19:33,260 --> 00:19:34,680
Yes.
517
00:19:34,760 --> 00:19:35,610
OK.
518
00:19:40,510 --> 00:19:41,320
All right.
519
00:19:41,400 --> 00:19:42,300
All right.
520
00:19:42,370 --> 00:19:43,690
I want to see my lawyer.
521
00:19:43,700 --> 00:19:46,230
I wanna see my lawyer right now.
522
00:19:46,310 --> 00:19:49,870
I'm going to sue the two of you.
523
00:19:49,950 --> 00:19:51,860
I'm going to sue him too.
524
00:19:51,940 --> 00:19:55,130
I'm going to sue the church.
525
00:19:55,200 --> 00:19:56,790
Linda, what good
is it going to do?
526
00:19:56,860 --> 00:19:58,330
I mean, nobody's
going to believe you.
527
00:19:58,410 --> 00:19:59,960
For all the world
you're Mark Gordon.
528
00:20:00,030 --> 00:20:01,500
I want my body back.
529
00:20:01,570 --> 00:20:04,460
I've worked very hard
getting that body in shape.
530
00:20:04,540 --> 00:20:05,540
I want my body back.
531
00:20:05,620 --> 00:20:06,930
I want my body back.
532
00:20:07,010 --> 00:20:08,060
I want my body.
533
00:20:08,130 --> 00:20:09,090
I want my body.
534
00:20:09,170 --> 00:20:10,020
I want my body.
535
00:20:10,090 --> 00:20:11,130
Linda, listen to me.
536
00:20:11,140 --> 00:20:12,340
Listen to me.
537
00:20:12,420 --> 00:20:13,390
What?
538
00:20:13,460 --> 00:20:15,220
He's doing this for a reason.
539
00:20:15,300 --> 00:20:17,510
Well, he has a very
sick sense of humor.
540
00:20:17,590 --> 00:20:19,350
That's what Jonah said
when the whale swallowed him.
541
00:20:19,430 --> 00:20:22,560
I would rather be swallowed
by a whale than turned into one.
542
00:20:22,640 --> 00:20:23,450
I'm going to kill her.
543
00:20:23,520 --> 00:20:24,400
She's a guy.
544
00:20:24,470 --> 00:20:26,020
She can take it.
545
00:20:26,100 --> 00:20:26,980
Now, come on.
546
00:20:27,060 --> 00:20:28,150
Stop it and listen to me.
547
00:20:28,230 --> 00:20:29,930
Now he's doing
this so each of you
548
00:20:30,010 --> 00:20:31,160
will understand what it's like
to live like the other one.
549
00:20:31,240 --> 00:20:33,200
Now the sooner you
accept that and do it,
550
00:20:33,210 --> 00:20:35,070
the sooner he's going to put
you back in your own bodies.
551
00:20:35,150 --> 00:20:36,710
Now, stop it.
552
00:20:36,790 --> 00:20:40,080
You mean that he has to go
out there and do my lines.
553
00:20:40,160 --> 00:20:41,280
I'll be ruined.
554
00:20:41,360 --> 00:20:43,180
Linda, that is
exactly what I mean.
555
00:20:43,260 --> 00:20:44,500
You're going to have to keep
all of Mark's appointments,
556
00:20:44,580 --> 00:20:46,720
and Mark's going to have
to keep all of yours.
557
00:20:46,800 --> 00:20:48,460
- Piece of cake.
- What?
558
00:20:48,540 --> 00:20:49,390
You heard me.
559
00:20:49,460 --> 00:20:50,670
Piece of cake.
560
00:20:50,750 --> 00:20:51,670
[knock on door]
561
00:20:51,750 --> 00:20:53,350
Yeah, come in.
562
00:20:53,430 --> 00:20:56,470
I hate to bother you, but
Mr. Campbell wondered if--
563
00:20:56,550 --> 00:20:58,140
Yeah, if what?
564
00:20:58,210 --> 00:21:01,600
If, uh, you'd
like to rehearse.
565
00:21:01,680 --> 00:21:03,770
We're ready.
566
00:21:03,850 --> 00:21:06,060
You bet I'm ready.
567
00:21:06,140 --> 00:21:07,480
I'll be right there.
568
00:21:10,480 --> 00:21:12,690
You keep my
hands off of those.
569
00:21:12,770 --> 00:21:13,720
Shut up.
570
00:21:17,490 --> 00:21:18,460
Piece of cake.
571
00:21:25,830 --> 00:21:26,790
Well hi, babe.
572
00:21:26,870 --> 00:21:28,970
Glad you could make it.
573
00:21:29,050 --> 00:21:29,960
You talking to me?
574
00:21:29,970 --> 00:21:31,920
You bet I am.
575
00:21:32,000 --> 00:21:33,670
Get your arm off of me.
576
00:21:33,750 --> 00:21:34,820
Come on, babe.
577
00:21:34,900 --> 00:21:36,490
You know you love it.
578
00:21:36,570 --> 00:21:37,720
Get your hand off of me or
I'll rip it out of the socket
579
00:21:37,800 --> 00:21:39,100
and beat your brains in with it.
580
00:21:39,170 --> 00:21:40,680
Got it.
581
00:21:40,760 --> 00:21:42,300
Ooo.
582
00:21:42,380 --> 00:21:46,320
There's no, no on your lips,
but yes, yes, yes in your eyes.
583
00:21:52,940 --> 00:21:54,610
Oh, no.
He's out cold.
584
00:21:54,690 --> 00:21:55,540
Get the doc down here.
585
00:21:55,610 --> 00:21:56,650
Linda, are you crazy?
586
00:21:56,620 --> 00:21:58,070
What did you do that for?
587
00:21:58,150 --> 00:21:59,220
Me?
588
00:21:59,300 --> 00:22:01,370
That bozo had his
hands all over me.
589
00:22:01,440 --> 00:22:02,410
Oh, big deal.
590
00:22:02,490 --> 00:22:03,830
We got a scene to shoot here.
591
00:22:03,910 --> 00:22:05,110
What do you mean, big deal?
592
00:22:05,180 --> 00:22:06,370
I mean, so he had
his hands on you.
593
00:22:06,450 --> 00:22:07,330
He's a man.
594
00:22:07,410 --> 00:22:08,330
You're a woman.
595
00:22:08,410 --> 00:22:09,580
I'm not just a woman.
596
00:22:09,660 --> 00:22:10,720
I'm a man.
597
00:22:15,380 --> 00:22:19,140
What I mean is, I'm a person,
and I got as much rights
598
00:22:19,210 --> 00:22:20,760
as a man.
599
00:22:20,840 --> 00:22:22,060
I got a right to be touched
when I want to be touched
600
00:22:22,130 --> 00:22:23,850
and by whom I want
to be touched.
601
00:22:23,930 --> 00:22:26,520
And nobody, but nobody, is
gonna tell me that I mean yes
602
00:22:26,590 --> 00:22:29,230
when I say no just
because I got a pair
603
00:22:29,310 --> 00:22:31,730
of bosoms and they don't.
604
00:22:31,810 --> 00:22:33,740
I never knew how tough
it was for you gals.
605
00:22:41,240 --> 00:22:42,710
Call me when he comes to.
606
00:22:47,620 --> 00:22:49,920
Maybe it'll be worth it
just to see me do that.
607
00:22:49,990 --> 00:22:50,840
Bap.
608
00:22:57,920 --> 00:22:58,880
Yo.
609
00:22:58,730 --> 00:22:59,880
Hey, where's the can, you know?
610
00:22:59,960 --> 00:23:00,760
The what?
611
00:23:00,840 --> 00:23:01,720
The can.
612
00:23:01,800 --> 00:23:02,720
The toilet.
613
00:23:02,800 --> 00:23:04,310
Oh, excuse me, the restroom.
614
00:23:04,380 --> 00:23:05,310
Oh, yeah.
615
00:23:05,380 --> 00:23:06,440
Follow me.
616
00:23:09,350 --> 00:23:11,200
Must you walk like that?
617
00:23:11,270 --> 00:23:12,110
Like what?
618
00:23:12,190 --> 00:23:13,570
Like a gorilla.
619
00:23:13,640 --> 00:23:15,110
You need to take smaller steps.
620
00:23:15,190 --> 00:23:16,780
People are staring.
621
00:23:16,850 --> 00:23:18,450
Yeah, well maybe
they're staring at you.
622
00:23:18,520 --> 00:23:20,410
You don't look so hot mincing
around like that either.
623
00:23:20,480 --> 00:23:21,740
All all right,
let's don't argue.
624
00:23:21,820 --> 00:23:23,450
Now, we're going to be
like this for a while,
625
00:23:23,530 --> 00:23:24,780
so let's just make
the most of it.
626
00:23:24,860 --> 00:23:25,740
- Right.
- Ah.
627
00:23:25,820 --> 00:23:26,670
Here we are.
628
00:23:30,280 --> 00:23:33,340
[screams]
629
00:23:42,090 --> 00:23:43,010
I think I'll wait.
630
00:23:43,090 --> 00:23:43,940
Yes, me too.
631
00:23:55,440 --> 00:23:56,880
How's it going?
632
00:23:56,830 --> 00:23:58,630
Can I help you with something?
633
00:23:58,700 --> 00:24:00,150
Oh no, I just wanted to
see how Mark was doing?
634
00:24:00,230 --> 00:24:01,150
Oh.
635
00:24:01,120 --> 00:24:02,410
Mark?
636
00:24:02,490 --> 00:24:03,360
I mean, Miss Blackwell.
637
00:24:03,440 --> 00:24:04,620
Oh.
638
00:24:04,690 --> 00:24:05,740
Well, just between
the two of us,
639
00:24:05,820 --> 00:24:07,830
this must be one
of her off days.
640
00:24:07,900 --> 00:24:11,000
She's moving like
a truck driver.
641
00:24:11,070 --> 00:24:12,700
Come on.
Come on.
642
00:24:12,780 --> 00:24:13,830
They got pictures in
the loo that take less
643
00:24:13,910 --> 00:24:15,290
time to paint than my face.
644
00:24:15,370 --> 00:24:16,500
Miss Blackwell,
you're the one that
645
00:24:16,580 --> 00:24:18,340
wants the fuller lips, not me.
646
00:24:18,410 --> 00:24:20,160
Fuller?
647
00:24:20,240 --> 00:24:23,010
They're full enough to blow up
the Goodyear blimp right now.
648
00:24:23,090 --> 00:24:25,850
Suit yourself.
649
00:24:25,920 --> 00:24:27,680
Let's rehearse again, Linda.
650
00:24:27,760 --> 00:24:28,430
Yeah.
651
00:24:28,510 --> 00:24:29,720
Yeah.
652
00:24:29,740 --> 00:24:31,680
Look can't I play
the scene barefoot?
653
00:24:31,700 --> 00:24:34,520
Who walks through the
desert in high heels?
654
00:24:34,530 --> 00:24:35,440
Movie stars.
655
00:24:35,520 --> 00:24:36,990
Now let's try it again.
656
00:24:48,240 --> 00:24:50,660
See what I mean?
657
00:24:50,740 --> 00:24:52,210
You been hitting
the sauce, honey?
658
00:24:52,280 --> 00:24:54,250
Ah, shut up.
659
00:24:54,330 --> 00:24:56,470
Whoa.
660
00:24:56,550 --> 00:24:57,540
Linda.
Linda.
661
00:24:57,620 --> 00:24:59,250
You all right, honey?
662
00:24:59,330 --> 00:25:01,340
LINDA BLACKWELL: I told you
to keep your hands off of me.
663
00:25:01,350 --> 00:25:02,380
[punching]
664
00:25:02,460 --> 00:25:03,930
TODD JEFFRIES: (GROANS)
- Cut.
665
00:25:04,000 --> 00:25:04,680
Cut.
666
00:25:04,750 --> 00:25:06,260
Brad, get the doctor.
667
00:25:06,340 --> 00:25:07,970
Yes, sir.
668
00:25:08,050 --> 00:25:09,310
Hey, you have
seen Mark have you?
669
00:25:09,380 --> 00:25:10,190
The hairdresser?
670
00:25:10,270 --> 00:25:11,220
Yeah, he took off.
671
00:25:11,300 --> 00:25:12,600
What do you mean he took off?
672
00:25:12,680 --> 00:25:14,270
Well, the guy's a little
flaky if you ask me.
673
00:25:14,350 --> 00:25:15,920
He said as long
as we already had
674
00:25:16,000 --> 00:25:17,440
one Linda Blackwell around he
was going to knock off early
675
00:25:17,450 --> 00:25:18,700
and do some shopping.
676
00:25:18,780 --> 00:25:19,740
Let me tell you, he
can get in real trouble
677
00:25:19,820 --> 00:25:21,030
with the boss for doing that.
678
00:25:21,100 --> 00:25:24,200
You're telling me.
679
00:25:24,270 --> 00:25:27,170
[music playing]
680
00:25:52,760 --> 00:25:54,270
May I help you?
681
00:25:54,340 --> 00:25:56,770
These are wonderful.
682
00:25:56,850 --> 00:25:58,000
When did you get these in?
683
00:25:57,780 --> 00:26:00,770
Oh, just yesterday.
684
00:26:00,850 --> 00:26:02,780
Oh, I love this.
685
00:26:08,190 --> 00:26:09,020
I don't know.
686
00:26:09,090 --> 00:26:11,280
I just don't think it's me.
687
00:26:11,360 --> 00:26:15,200
It's really difficult to tell
with this beard, you know.
688
00:26:15,280 --> 00:26:18,960
Oh, I suppose not.
689
00:26:19,040 --> 00:26:22,300
Perhaps if you shaved it off?
690
00:26:22,370 --> 00:26:25,770
I would but I'm afraid that
what's under it might be worse.
691
00:26:33,050 --> 00:26:34,900
Oh, boy.
692
00:26:34,980 --> 00:26:36,450
Uh, Linda.
693
00:26:36,530 --> 00:26:37,640
Jonathan, what do you
think of this lipstick?
694
00:26:37,720 --> 00:26:39,150
Give me that will ya.
695
00:26:39,220 --> 00:26:40,760
What are you--
696
00:26:40,830 --> 00:26:42,730
You know, I think you better
start remembering who you are,
697
00:26:42,810 --> 00:26:44,150
or who you're supposed to be.
698
00:26:44,230 --> 00:26:45,900
Now what is that
supposed to mean?
699
00:26:45,980 --> 00:26:48,110
It means that the reason
the boss switched you two
700
00:26:48,190 --> 00:26:50,620
is so that each one of you could
learn how the other one lives.
701
00:26:50,690 --> 00:26:52,280
Jonathan listen,
it is bad enough
702
00:26:52,360 --> 00:26:54,490
that I have to walk
around with this moss
703
00:26:54,570 --> 00:26:55,720
growing all over my back.
704
00:26:55,800 --> 00:26:57,210
What else am I supposed to do?
705
00:26:57,290 --> 00:26:58,830
Well, until the boss
switches you back,
706
00:26:58,910 --> 00:27:00,920
you're supposed to be Mark
Gordon not just look like him.
707
00:27:00,990 --> 00:27:02,590
Now, that means
working at his job,
708
00:27:02,670 --> 00:27:04,340
socializing with his friends.
709
00:27:04,410 --> 00:27:06,510
Wait a minute, you mean I
have to associate with a bunch
710
00:27:06,580 --> 00:27:08,840
of beer-belching
over-the-hill jocks
711
00:27:08,920 --> 00:27:10,840
whose only interest
in life is making
712
00:27:10,920 --> 00:27:12,260
snide remarks about women.
713
00:27:12,340 --> 00:27:13,150
Oh, please.
714
00:27:13,220 --> 00:27:14,530
Come on, now.
715
00:27:14,610 --> 00:27:15,750
You're being snide
about his friends.
716
00:27:15,830 --> 00:27:17,520
Now don't judge people
until you know them.
717
00:27:17,590 --> 00:27:19,150
Now, let's get out of here.
718
00:27:19,230 --> 00:27:20,690
I'm going to buy some
shoes while I'm here.
719
00:27:20,760 --> 00:27:21,900
I don't think
they're going to have
720
00:27:21,910 --> 00:27:23,400
what you're looking for in 12D.
721
00:27:23,470 --> 00:27:26,320
Oh, of course you're right.
722
00:27:26,390 --> 00:27:27,280
Goodbye.
723
00:27:27,350 --> 00:27:28,330
I'll be back.
724
00:27:28,410 --> 00:27:29,330
Stop doing that
with your hand.
725
00:27:36,450 --> 00:27:38,290
What do you
think you're doing?
726
00:27:38,360 --> 00:27:39,500
Hey, what the--
727
00:27:39,570 --> 00:27:40,630
I'm having a little snack.
728
00:27:40,710 --> 00:27:42,380
A snack.
729
00:27:42,460 --> 00:27:45,340
I have seen lighter meals
at feeding time at the zoo.
730
00:27:45,410 --> 00:27:46,500
But I--
731
00:27:46,580 --> 00:27:48,720
You are not putting
this in my body.
732
00:27:48,790 --> 00:27:50,170
I'm hungry.
733
00:27:50,250 --> 00:27:51,090
Jonathan.
734
00:27:51,170 --> 00:27:52,050
No.
735
00:27:52,130 --> 00:27:53,230
Absolutely not.
736
00:27:53,300 --> 00:27:57,600
If you need to pick
me up, you drink this.
737
00:27:57,680 --> 00:27:59,230
What is this?
738
00:27:59,300 --> 00:28:00,780
Hot lemon juice.
739
00:28:00,850 --> 00:28:02,600
What about my pizza?
740
00:28:02,680 --> 00:28:04,440
No, no, no, no, no, no.
741
00:28:04,520 --> 00:28:05,730
Not your pizza.
742
00:28:05,740 --> 00:28:07,700
Mark Gordon's pizza.
743
00:28:07,780 --> 00:28:10,150
Linda Blackwell is on a diet.
744
00:28:10,230 --> 00:28:15,410
Just part of the price
that we women have to pay.
745
00:28:15,420 --> 00:28:21,250
You know, it is really a shame
to let this pizza go to waste.
746
00:28:21,320 --> 00:28:25,170
Oh, pizza, baby it
has been so long.
747
00:28:25,240 --> 00:28:27,630
Come to mama.
748
00:28:27,710 --> 00:28:29,560
Mmm.
749
00:28:29,630 --> 00:28:31,470
So good.
750
00:28:31,540 --> 00:28:32,450
Yummy, yummy.
751
00:28:32,530 --> 00:28:33,940
Mmm, mmm. mmm.
752
00:28:41,740 --> 00:28:44,030
[music playing]
753
00:28:55,040 --> 00:28:57,280
See you on the
set tomorrow, Linda.
754
00:28:57,360 --> 00:28:58,990
Goodnight, sweetheart.
755
00:28:59,070 --> 00:28:59,920
Goodnight, darling.
756
00:29:04,280 --> 00:29:05,250
You.
757
00:29:05,330 --> 00:29:06,920
Where do you think you're going?
758
00:29:06,990 --> 00:29:08,090
That's my car.
759
00:29:08,160 --> 00:29:09,330
Wrong.
760
00:29:09,410 --> 00:29:10,590
That's Linda Blackwell's car.
761
00:29:10,670 --> 00:29:13,260
Home, Miss Blackwell?
762
00:29:13,330 --> 00:29:14,690
Home, my foot.
763
00:29:14,770 --> 00:29:17,010
Take me to the
nearest burger joint.
764
00:29:17,090 --> 00:29:20,390
You, she, this is
not fair, Jonathan.
765
00:29:20,470 --> 00:29:21,470
This is not fair.
766
00:29:21,550 --> 00:29:22,520
Oh, come on.
767
00:29:22,590 --> 00:29:24,100
It's probably all for the best.
768
00:29:23,950 --> 00:29:25,440
Sam would have thought it
was kind of funny if you
769
00:29:25,510 --> 00:29:26,940
drove up in a limo anyway.
770
00:29:27,010 --> 00:29:28,270
Sam who?
771
00:29:28,350 --> 00:29:29,410
Sam Quigley.
772
00:29:29,480 --> 00:29:30,610
Supposed to meet him tonight.
773
00:29:30,690 --> 00:29:31,610
Shoot a few racks of pool.
774
00:29:31,690 --> 00:29:32,690
Talk about old times.
775
00:29:32,770 --> 00:29:34,280
Oh, that sounds
like an evening
776
00:29:34,360 --> 00:29:35,950
full of charm and glamour.
777
00:29:35,960 --> 00:29:37,460
Oh come on Linda,
don't tell me
778
00:29:37,530 --> 00:29:39,200
you never wondered what
the boys we're talking
779
00:29:39,280 --> 00:29:40,200
about in the locker room.
780
00:29:40,280 --> 00:29:41,370
Now's your chance.
781
00:29:41,450 --> 00:29:42,930
Marvelous.
782
00:29:43,010 --> 00:29:45,470
I can spend the entire evening
discussing sweat socks.
783
00:29:45,540 --> 00:29:48,210
Honestly.
784
00:29:48,290 --> 00:29:50,630
I wish you wouldn't
do that with your hand.
785
00:29:50,710 --> 00:29:53,810
[music playing]
786
00:30:06,350 --> 00:30:08,270
What would you like me
to get you, Miss Blackwell?
787
00:30:08,350 --> 00:30:09,560
Oh, relax, I can get it.
788
00:30:09,640 --> 00:30:11,650
But, Miss Blackwell,
this is a public place.
789
00:30:11,730 --> 00:30:13,030
No kidding.
790
00:30:13,100 --> 00:30:14,580
I didn't think it
was a private club.
791
00:30:17,530 --> 00:30:18,490
What are you doing?
792
00:30:18,570 --> 00:30:20,990
Guarding you.
793
00:30:21,070 --> 00:30:22,160
Guarding me?
794
00:30:22,240 --> 00:30:23,740
Hey, pal, I'm a big boy.
795
00:30:23,820 --> 00:30:25,060
I can take care of myself.
796
00:30:25,140 --> 00:30:26,410
Why don't you just
relax in the car, OK.
797
00:30:26,490 --> 00:30:27,670
I'll get us a couple of burgers.
798
00:30:49,510 --> 00:30:50,650
All right.
799
00:30:50,720 --> 00:30:52,360
Let me read this back to you.
800
00:30:52,030 --> 00:30:57,740
That's four cheeseburgers,
four fries, two apple pies, two
801
00:30:57,810 --> 00:30:59,780
onion rings, and three tacos.
802
00:30:59,860 --> 00:31:01,170
Yeah and a shake.
803
00:31:01,240 --> 00:31:04,330
Vanilla, and you better
give me a strawberry too.
804
00:31:04,400 --> 00:31:05,540
All right.
805
00:31:05,610 --> 00:31:07,870
That's just be a minute.
806
00:31:07,950 --> 00:31:10,210
I still don't believe
that was Lucille Ball.
807
00:31:10,280 --> 00:31:11,790
Jake it was her.
808
00:31:11,800 --> 00:31:13,710
But she's so friendly on TV.
809
00:31:13,790 --> 00:31:16,210
I looked in the window,
she closed the blinds.
810
00:31:16,290 --> 00:31:17,170
Nice, shmice.
811
00:31:17,250 --> 00:31:18,420
It was Lucy.
812
00:31:18,440 --> 00:31:19,800
Well, I better
get a closer look
813
00:31:19,810 --> 00:31:22,430
at a biggie before this day--
814
00:31:22,510 --> 00:31:25,610
Linda, Linda Blackwell.
815
00:31:33,470 --> 00:31:34,730
Come on.
Come on.
816
00:31:34,740 --> 00:31:35,910
Let's get out of here.
817
00:32:00,500 --> 00:32:04,930
Oh, Sam, that is the
funniest story I've ever heard.
818
00:32:05,010 --> 00:32:08,180
And these ribs are fantastic.
819
00:32:08,260 --> 00:32:12,100
You know Sam, I have to admit
I cannot recall when I have
820
00:32:12,110 --> 00:32:15,270
had a nicer evening with a man.
821
00:32:15,350 --> 00:32:18,230
Been fun seeing you
again too, but I, uh,
822
00:32:18,310 --> 00:32:20,030
you know I must say,
you know, you've
823
00:32:20,100 --> 00:32:22,450
changed over the last 15 years.
824
00:32:22,520 --> 00:32:24,290
Last 15 hours is more like it.
825
00:32:27,240 --> 00:32:28,950
Know what I wish?
826
00:32:29,030 --> 00:32:32,330
I wish I could go out
with Linda like this.
827
00:32:32,410 --> 00:32:33,360
Linda who?
828
00:32:33,430 --> 00:32:34,210
Linda who.
829
00:32:34,290 --> 00:32:35,860
Linda Blackwell.
830
00:32:35,940 --> 00:32:37,800
Weren't you listening
in the commissary, huh?
831
00:32:37,870 --> 00:32:40,300
You were gonna see if I
had a prayer, you know.
832
00:32:40,370 --> 00:32:42,340
Yeah, fat chance of
that though, huh?
833
00:32:42,420 --> 00:32:43,630
Yeah.
834
00:32:43,710 --> 00:32:44,590
I don't know.
835
00:32:44,660 --> 00:32:46,300
She might like it.
836
00:32:46,380 --> 00:32:47,260
What makes you say that?
837
00:32:47,340 --> 00:32:48,150
Did you ask her?
838
00:32:48,220 --> 00:32:48,860
No, no.
839
00:32:48,930 --> 00:32:50,470
It's just a feeling.
840
00:32:50,540 --> 00:32:53,480
Oh well, I don't think
you're right on this one.
841
00:32:53,550 --> 00:32:54,900
She's a movie star.
842
00:32:54,980 --> 00:32:56,210
Maybe your right.
843
00:32:56,160 --> 00:32:58,360
She's probably just
stuck on herself.
844
00:32:58,430 --> 00:32:59,980
No, I don't think so.
845
00:33:00,060 --> 00:33:01,740
You know, it's probably
just because she's afraid.
846
00:33:01,810 --> 00:33:03,150
People keep asking
things of her,
847
00:33:03,230 --> 00:33:05,950
like an autograph, a
introduction, maybe
848
00:33:06,030 --> 00:33:08,700
a little hit-and-run
romance, you know.
849
00:33:08,780 --> 00:33:11,040
Isn't that what you want too?
850
00:33:11,110 --> 00:33:12,470
Me?
851
00:33:12,550 --> 00:33:14,000
Hey, I thought you knew me
better than that, buddy.
852
00:33:14,080 --> 00:33:15,620
I just told you how
I felt about her.
853
00:33:15,700 --> 00:33:18,380
Oh, come on Sam, fess up.
854
00:33:18,450 --> 00:33:20,710
I mean, that would be something
to brag about to your friends,
855
00:33:20,790 --> 00:33:22,140
right.
856
00:33:22,220 --> 00:33:24,090
Having a little fling
with a movie star.
857
00:33:24,170 --> 00:33:26,180
You really don't
know me do you buddy?
858
00:33:26,190 --> 00:33:29,220
All I'd want is a chance
to make her happy.
859
00:33:29,300 --> 00:33:32,520
It's not as easy you think
being, being in the public eye.
860
00:33:32,590 --> 00:33:33,680
You know what I bet?
861
00:33:33,760 --> 00:33:35,440
I bet she'd just
like to let her hair
862
00:33:35,510 --> 00:33:38,190
down, have some fun with a guy
who really cares, you know.
863
00:33:38,200 --> 00:33:41,030
You know, I read somewhere
where she likes camellias
864
00:33:41,100 --> 00:33:42,950
so I sent her some once.
865
00:33:43,030 --> 00:33:44,930
I didn't put my
name on it and she,
866
00:33:45,010 --> 00:33:50,200
well I saw her with them later
and she, she looked so happy.
867
00:33:50,210 --> 00:33:51,540
That was you?
868
00:33:51,610 --> 00:33:53,670
Huh?
869
00:33:53,750 --> 00:33:57,790
Sam, I must tell you that
until tonight I never realized
870
00:33:57,870 --> 00:33:59,880
what a wonderful man you are.
871
00:33:59,950 --> 00:34:01,630
Huh, what?
872
00:34:01,710 --> 00:34:03,930
I understand this is,
is very difficult for you
873
00:34:04,010 --> 00:34:07,550
to understand, but
it is so frustrating
874
00:34:07,630 --> 00:34:09,390
to be a man right now.
875
00:34:09,460 --> 00:34:11,060
I don't know what you're
talking about, Gord-o.
876
00:34:11,130 --> 00:34:12,520
Well of course
you don't, silly.
877
00:34:12,590 --> 00:34:14,190
How could you?
878
00:34:14,270 --> 00:34:17,060
Well, I don't know how I
could, but just forget I asked.
879
00:34:17,140 --> 00:34:19,690
Sam, Sam, Sam I
want you to know.
880
00:34:19,770 --> 00:34:21,120
I want you to know
because tonight
881
00:34:21,190 --> 00:34:24,030
has been so special for me.
882
00:34:24,100 --> 00:34:25,740
I don't think I
want to know, Gord-o.
883
00:34:25,810 --> 00:34:31,200
Sam, I'm not who
you think I am.
884
00:34:31,280 --> 00:34:34,200
Hey Mark, look,
that is your business.
885
00:34:34,280 --> 00:34:39,710
So Sam, Sam tell Linda
how you feel about her.
886
00:34:39,720 --> 00:34:41,090
Trust me.
887
00:34:41,160 --> 00:34:44,170
I'm not telling you
this is Mark Gordon.
888
00:34:44,250 --> 00:34:46,470
I'm telling you this as a woman.
889
00:34:46,540 --> 00:34:47,380
Ahh.
890
00:34:47,460 --> 00:34:49,140
Oh, Sam.
891
00:34:49,150 --> 00:34:50,520
Sam.
892
00:34:50,600 --> 00:34:51,800
Sam.
893
00:34:51,880 --> 00:34:52,840
Oh, dear.
894
00:34:52,820 --> 00:34:54,270
Sam, Sam are you all right?
895
00:34:54,340 --> 00:34:55,720
Just take your hands off me.
896
00:34:55,800 --> 00:34:56,850
What?
897
00:34:56,930 --> 00:34:58,890
Just take your
hands off me, OK.
898
00:34:58,970 --> 00:35:00,100
What are you talking about?
899
00:35:00,180 --> 00:35:01,680
Look, you're my pal.
900
00:35:01,760 --> 00:35:03,440
I'm not gonna tell anybody
about our little conversation.
901
00:35:03,520 --> 00:35:05,320
It's just going to be
our secret, all right.
902
00:35:05,390 --> 00:35:07,650
Sam, just promise me that
you won't let your pride
903
00:35:07,730 --> 00:35:08,990
stand in the way
and that you'll tell
904
00:35:09,060 --> 00:35:10,490
Linda how you feel about her.
905
00:35:10,570 --> 00:35:11,740
OK, I promise.
906
00:35:11,750 --> 00:35:12,700
You mean that?
907
00:35:12,780 --> 00:35:14,080
Of course I mean it.
908
00:35:14,150 --> 00:35:15,290
I'm going to tell her right now.
- Now.
909
00:35:15,360 --> 00:35:16,300
Yeah, now.
910
00:35:16,370 --> 00:35:18,250
No, I don't want
you to tell her now.
911
00:35:18,320 --> 00:35:19,540
I want you to stay here with me.
912
00:35:19,620 --> 00:35:20,950
Hey, ho, ho.
913
00:35:21,030 --> 00:35:22,050
Let's not get a little
pushy, you know.
914
00:35:22,130 --> 00:35:26,380
Now, it's your life but
live and let live, OK.
915
00:35:26,460 --> 00:35:27,300
See ya.
916
00:35:27,310 --> 00:35:29,300
Sam.
917
00:35:29,380 --> 00:35:32,310
Oh, Sam.
918
00:35:32,390 --> 00:35:34,470
Linda, you've got to
get hold of yourself.
919
00:35:34,550 --> 00:35:37,680
All right, splash a little
cold water on your face
920
00:35:37,760 --> 00:35:38,990
and pull yourself together.
921
00:35:47,730 --> 00:35:50,200
[screams]
922
00:35:55,570 --> 00:35:57,460
Stay out, you pervert.
923
00:36:03,540 --> 00:36:04,590
Jonathan.
924
00:36:11,670 --> 00:36:14,730
[music playing]
925
00:36:24,060 --> 00:36:26,360
Ah, come on.
926
00:36:26,370 --> 00:36:29,360
Come on.
927
00:36:29,440 --> 00:36:30,510
What are you doing, huh?
928
00:36:30,590 --> 00:36:31,250
You're kidding yourself.
929
00:36:33,360 --> 00:36:34,490
Do it.
930
00:36:34,570 --> 00:36:36,380
[doorbell]
931
00:36:38,110 --> 00:36:40,380
Coming, coming.
932
00:36:40,460 --> 00:36:41,510
Keep your pants on.
933
00:36:44,620 --> 00:36:45,670
Uh, Miss Blackwell--
934
00:36:45,740 --> 00:36:46,960
Sam, old buddy.
935
00:36:47,040 --> 00:36:49,760
Man am I glad to see you.
936
00:36:49,830 --> 00:36:51,050
You are?
937
00:36:51,130 --> 00:36:52,470
Yeah, I've been going
crazy in this joint.
938
00:36:52,540 --> 00:36:54,260
You know, I mean, at first
I thought it'd be fun
939
00:36:54,340 --> 00:36:56,350
but she doesn't have a thing to
eat here but watercress and hot
940
00:36:56,420 --> 00:36:57,300
lemon juice.
941
00:36:57,380 --> 00:36:58,010
She?
942
00:36:58,090 --> 00:36:59,390
Yeah, her.
943
00:36:59,470 --> 00:37:00,350
Me.
944
00:37:00,430 --> 00:37:01,880
Forget it.
945
00:37:01,950 --> 00:37:03,480
Hey, what do you say we go
shoot a couple racks of pool
946
00:37:03,550 --> 00:37:05,100
and grab some ribs.
947
00:37:05,180 --> 00:37:06,520
Well, you, you'd
like to do that?
948
00:37:06,600 --> 00:37:09,230
Yeah, sure I'd love to.
949
00:37:09,310 --> 00:37:11,030
I've been bored stiff
just sitting around here.
950
00:37:11,100 --> 00:37:12,860
We can talk about old times.
951
00:37:12,940 --> 00:37:14,910
What, what old times?
952
00:37:14,990 --> 00:37:16,020
New times.
953
00:37:16,090 --> 00:37:17,440
We can talk about new times.
954
00:37:17,520 --> 00:37:19,790
Man, I can't believe how
easy it is talking to you.
955
00:37:19,860 --> 00:37:20,960
I mean, you don't know.
956
00:37:21,040 --> 00:37:22,330
I was, I was so nervous before.
957
00:37:22,340 --> 00:37:24,170
I mean--
958
00:37:24,250 --> 00:37:25,710
Hey, what's to be nervous, I
mean, we both put on our pants
959
00:37:25,780 --> 00:37:27,340
one leg at a time, you know.
960
00:37:27,420 --> 00:37:29,000
Huh?
961
00:37:29,080 --> 00:37:30,550
Right.
962
00:37:30,620 --> 00:37:32,010
Yeah.
963
00:37:32,080 --> 00:37:33,090
Hey why don't you
sit down and relax.
964
00:37:33,170 --> 00:37:34,550
Let me see if I
can't put something
965
00:37:34,630 --> 00:37:37,720
on that's more comfortable and
then we'll have some fun, huh.
966
00:37:37,800 --> 00:37:39,850
Huh.
967
00:37:39,860 --> 00:37:41,310
Yeah, sure.
Right.
968
00:37:41,380 --> 00:37:42,020
Woo hoo.
969
00:37:42,090 --> 00:37:45,740
I can't believe it.
970
00:37:45,810 --> 00:37:48,810
What a great girl.
971
00:37:48,890 --> 00:37:50,700
A little wacky, but great.
972
00:38:06,660 --> 00:38:08,460
This has been,
without a doubt,
973
00:38:08,540 --> 00:38:11,380
the single most
embarrassing humiliating
974
00:38:11,460 --> 00:38:13,210
night of my entire life.
975
00:38:13,220 --> 00:38:14,600
Linda will you calm down?
976
00:38:14,680 --> 00:38:15,530
Calm down.
977
00:38:15,610 --> 00:38:16,720
That's easy for you to say.
978
00:38:16,730 --> 00:38:17,880
Oh, no.
979
00:38:17,950 --> 00:38:19,510
I know I'm going to
have a black eye.
980
00:38:19,590 --> 00:38:21,050
I know it.
981
00:38:21,130 --> 00:38:22,810
Thank goodness this
is not my face.
982
00:38:22,880 --> 00:38:24,930
Linda, all I can tell
you is that everything
983
00:38:25,010 --> 00:38:26,230
is just part of a plan.
984
00:38:26,300 --> 00:38:29,230
Well, the plan stinks.
985
00:38:29,310 --> 00:38:31,660
I finally meet a man
that I could care about
986
00:38:31,730 --> 00:38:34,070
and he thinks I'm
a raving lunatic.
987
00:38:34,140 --> 00:38:35,590
Oh now, wait a minute.
988
00:38:35,660 --> 00:38:36,450
He doesn't think you're
a raving lunatic.
989
00:38:36,520 --> 00:38:37,860
He thinks Mark is.
990
00:38:37,940 --> 00:38:39,280
I have been humiliated.
991
00:38:39,360 --> 00:38:42,500
I have been assaulted by
some hairy baboon, punched
992
00:38:42,580 --> 00:38:45,410
in the eye, tossed out on
the street on my keister,
993
00:38:45,490 --> 00:38:48,120
and now the man that I
think I'm in love with
994
00:38:48,200 --> 00:38:50,330
is on his way to
pour out his heart
995
00:38:50,410 --> 00:38:53,250
to Mark Gordon, who
by now has probably
996
00:38:53,260 --> 00:38:57,550
caused me to gain 15 pounds.
997
00:38:57,560 --> 00:39:00,050
Now look, why don't
you just take it easy,
998
00:39:00,130 --> 00:39:03,010
you get undressed,
you get some sleep
999
00:39:03,090 --> 00:39:06,310
everything's going to look a lot
better to you in the morning.
1000
00:39:06,390 --> 00:39:08,060
Undress.
1001
00:39:08,140 --> 00:39:10,050
And you call yourself an angel.
1002
00:39:10,120 --> 00:39:14,150
Oh come on now, put on some
pajamas and get some sleep.
1003
00:39:14,230 --> 00:39:16,030
Turn around.
1004
00:39:16,100 --> 00:39:17,280
Why?
1005
00:39:17,350 --> 00:39:18,610
Why?
1006
00:39:18,690 --> 00:39:21,320
Because I'm going to
undress, that's why.
1007
00:39:21,400 --> 00:39:23,160
Oh come on, Linda.
1008
00:39:23,240 --> 00:39:24,530
I mean, first of
all, I'm an angel.
1009
00:39:24,600 --> 00:39:26,960
Secondly, right
now you're a guy.
1010
00:39:29,780 --> 00:39:31,580
Why do you keep
bringing that up?
1011
00:39:31,590 --> 00:39:33,500
I'll change in the powder room.
1012
00:39:33,580 --> 00:39:34,430
Oh.
1013
00:39:38,930 --> 00:39:40,050
Oh.
1014
00:39:42,590 --> 00:39:44,930
Were you the last
one to use this?
1015
00:39:45,010 --> 00:39:46,400
No angels don't have to.
1016
00:39:46,480 --> 00:39:48,060
Well, the next time you
see Mr. Gordon would you
1017
00:39:48,140 --> 00:39:52,190
mind telling him that when he's
finished to put the seat down?
1018
00:39:52,260 --> 00:39:53,490
Men.
1019
00:39:53,570 --> 00:39:56,150
Well, this is as
comfortable as I could find.
1020
00:39:56,230 --> 00:39:57,830
Boy, do I feel better.
1021
00:39:57,900 --> 00:40:00,860
It's hard to believe what
women go through to look good.
1022
00:40:00,940 --> 00:40:02,320
I think you look great.
1023
00:40:02,400 --> 00:40:04,020
You know, I got to
be honest with you,
1024
00:40:04,100 --> 00:40:06,450
I was always was afraid to,
to approach you, you know.
1025
00:40:06,530 --> 00:40:08,950
Kind of like, like
you were queen.
1026
00:40:08,970 --> 00:40:09,870
I know I was wrong.
1027
00:40:09,950 --> 00:40:11,460
I misjudged you.
1028
00:40:11,530 --> 00:40:12,960
I mean, you're the, you're one
of the most down-to-earth women
1029
00:40:13,040 --> 00:40:14,000
I've ever met.
1030
00:40:14,080 --> 00:40:15,190
Thanks.
1031
00:40:15,270 --> 00:40:16,210
Come on, let's go
get those beers.
1032
00:40:16,290 --> 00:40:18,260
Wait.
1033
00:40:18,330 --> 00:40:19,340
Wait.
1034
00:40:19,420 --> 00:40:20,720
Oh, what wait.
1035
00:40:20,790 --> 00:40:23,050
I have waited so long
to be with you like this.
1036
00:40:23,130 --> 00:40:24,890
- What do you mean like this?
- You know what I mean.
1037
00:40:24,960 --> 00:40:26,510
Look, I gotta tell you
how I feel about you,
1038
00:40:26,590 --> 00:40:27,720
even if you laugh in my face.
1039
00:40:27,800 --> 00:40:28,430
Oh no.
1040
00:40:28,510 --> 00:40:29,930
No, no, no.
1041
00:40:30,000 --> 00:40:31,530
I'm not laughing see, but
this isn't the right time
1042
00:40:31,600 --> 00:40:32,960
and I'm nothing like
what you think I'm like.
1043
00:40:33,040 --> 00:40:34,690
I think is the most
wonderful woman in the world.
1044
00:40:34,770 --> 00:40:35,940
Yeah, well see, see.
Right there.
1045
00:40:36,020 --> 00:40:37,480
See, that's a mistake
right there, see.
1046
00:40:37,560 --> 00:40:38,900
- I love you.
- No, you don't.
1047
00:40:38,980 --> 00:40:39,860
Yes, I do.
1048
00:40:39,940 --> 00:40:40,870
No, you don't.
1049
00:40:44,190 --> 00:40:45,070
Linda, I'm sorry.
1050
00:40:45,150 --> 00:40:46,410
Just let me up, please.
1051
00:40:46,490 --> 00:40:47,950
Not until you let me explain.
1052
00:40:48,030 --> 00:40:49,310
You don't have to explain.
1053
00:40:49,260 --> 00:40:51,000
I just made a complete
fool out of myself.
1054
00:40:51,070 --> 00:40:52,870
You don't understand, Sam.
1055
00:40:52,880 --> 00:40:54,000
Yeah, I do understand.
1056
00:40:54,010 --> 00:40:56,210
Linda, you're hurting my neck.
1057
00:40:56,290 --> 00:40:58,010
Sam, listen.
1058
00:40:58,090 --> 00:40:59,590
Listen.
It's OK.
1059
00:40:59,670 --> 00:41:00,550
What an idiot I was.
1060
00:41:00,560 --> 00:41:02,090
No, you weren't.
1061
00:41:02,170 --> 00:41:03,430
You weren't an idiot.
1062
00:41:03,500 --> 00:41:05,510
Listen, your timing is
just off, that's all.
1063
00:41:05,520 --> 00:41:06,720
You think you love
me but you don't.
1064
00:41:06,800 --> 00:41:08,770
The one you really love is Mark.
1065
00:41:08,850 --> 00:41:09,770
What?
1066
00:41:09,780 --> 00:41:10,970
Mark.
1067
00:41:11,050 --> 00:41:12,530
Look, I know it sounds
confusing and it is.
1068
00:41:12,600 --> 00:41:16,030
Oh God, I wish I'd never
asked to be in her shoes.
1069
00:41:16,110 --> 00:41:18,950
[thunder crashing]
1070
00:41:20,810 --> 00:41:25,780
Jonathan, what if he
chooses to leave us like this?
1071
00:41:25,860 --> 00:41:27,280
I don't think I can take it.
1072
00:41:27,360 --> 00:41:30,040
I just, I think I'm having
a nervous breakdown.
1073
00:41:30,050 --> 00:41:32,580
God, I am sorry I ever
asked to be a man.
1074
00:41:32,660 --> 00:41:34,050
[thunder crashing]
1075
00:41:34,120 --> 00:41:35,000
What is that?
1076
00:41:35,080 --> 00:41:36,250
Why is that doing that?
1077
00:41:36,260 --> 00:41:40,430
Jonathan, Jonathan
what, what is this?
1078
00:41:40,510 --> 00:41:42,920
Oh, it is the blackout.
1079
00:41:43,000 --> 00:41:43,920
Jonathan.
1080
00:41:43,940 --> 00:41:45,880
[thunder crashing]
1081
00:41:45,960 --> 00:41:48,810
[screaming]
1082
00:41:56,070 --> 00:41:56,980
Mark?
1083
00:41:57,060 --> 00:41:58,150
I'm back.
1084
00:41:58,220 --> 00:41:59,160
The boss put me back.
1085
00:42:08,650 --> 00:42:11,090
[thunder crashing]
1086
00:42:11,160 --> 00:42:13,670
[screaming]
1087
00:42:19,040 --> 00:42:19,880
Linda.
1088
00:42:19,950 --> 00:42:21,440
Oh, Sam.
1089
00:42:21,520 --> 00:42:24,300
Li-, Linda, I can't tell
you how sorry I am about--
1090
00:42:24,370 --> 00:42:25,810
I got my body back.
1091
00:42:28,800 --> 00:42:31,180
OK, I promise you
one thing, you'll
1092
00:42:31,260 --> 00:42:32,510
never be bothered by me again.
1093
00:42:32,590 --> 00:42:33,850
Where are you going?
1094
00:42:33,930 --> 00:42:35,140
Going back to where I belong.
1095
00:42:35,220 --> 00:42:36,020
No, please.
1096
00:42:36,090 --> 00:42:37,560
Oh, Sam don't go.
1097
00:42:37,640 --> 00:42:40,690
Look, uh, I know I acted
rather oddly tonight
1098
00:42:40,770 --> 00:42:42,860
but I really wasn't myself.
1099
00:42:42,930 --> 00:42:44,070
But I am now.
1100
00:42:46,730 --> 00:42:50,120
I really don't want you to go.
1101
00:42:50,130 --> 00:42:52,530
You mean that?
1102
00:42:52,610 --> 00:42:54,200
Yes, I do.
1103
00:42:54,280 --> 00:42:56,960
More than you know.
1104
00:42:57,030 --> 00:42:58,870
I love you.
1105
00:42:58,950 --> 00:43:02,500
Oh, don't say that unless
you mean it because I
1106
00:43:02,580 --> 00:43:04,550
love you too much for that.
1107
00:43:04,620 --> 00:43:14,600
So do I.
1108
00:43:14,680 --> 00:43:21,730
So do I.
1109
00:43:21,810 --> 00:43:23,820
LINDA BLACKWELL: Wait,
I forgot the bouquet.
1110
00:43:23,890 --> 00:43:26,200
OK girls, back here by the door.
1111
00:43:29,610 --> 00:43:31,570
Well buddy, your
dream came true.
1112
00:43:31,650 --> 00:43:33,660
It sure did.
1113
00:43:33,740 --> 00:43:34,870
Thanks for helping.
1114
00:43:34,950 --> 00:43:37,830
Hey, what are
friends for, huh?
1115
00:43:37,910 --> 00:43:41,040
Yeah, Mark, I'm
a married man now.
1116
00:43:41,120 --> 00:43:42,930
Come on Sam, you
don't understand.
1117
00:43:43,000 --> 00:43:44,140
I know.
1118
00:43:44,220 --> 00:43:45,930
I know but we can
still be friends.
1119
00:43:48,040 --> 00:43:48,890
Thanks.
1120
00:43:56,940 --> 00:43:58,430
I don't know how to thank you.
1121
00:43:58,510 --> 00:44:00,190
Hey, I didn't do anything.
1122
00:44:00,270 --> 00:44:02,350
Well, maybe you can
thank the boss for me.
1123
00:44:02,430 --> 00:44:03,570
Why don't you
do that yourself.
1124
00:44:03,650 --> 00:44:05,190
His number is not unlisted.
1125
00:44:05,270 --> 00:44:08,110
I will.
1126
00:44:08,190 --> 00:44:10,780
All right, here we go.
1127
00:44:10,860 --> 00:44:17,080
Uh, hey well, good luck.
1128
00:44:17,150 --> 00:44:19,250
I don't know how you
live with this fur.
1129
00:44:19,320 --> 00:44:22,110
I don't know how you
live with those heels.
1130
00:44:25,620 --> 00:44:26,590
Good luck.
1131
00:44:26,660 --> 00:44:27,680
See you.
1132
00:44:56,400 --> 00:44:59,040
I guess you learned a little
something from all this, huh.
1133
00:44:59,050 --> 00:45:01,370
You bet I did.
1134
00:45:01,450 --> 00:45:03,670
You know people
have got a tough.
1135
00:45:03,680 --> 00:45:05,130
I don't mean just men.
1136
00:45:05,200 --> 00:45:06,140
I don't mean just women.
1137
00:45:06,210 --> 00:45:07,640
I mean people.
1138
00:45:07,710 --> 00:45:09,210
Well, I don't know about that.
1139
00:45:09,290 --> 00:45:11,130
What do you mean you
don't know about that?
1140
00:45:11,140 --> 00:45:13,760
Look how complicated
their relationships are.
1141
00:45:13,840 --> 00:45:17,140
Everybody's got all
these fears and hangups.
1142
00:45:17,210 --> 00:45:22,520
Hey, Jonathan, look at that
bull out in the pasture.
1143
00:45:22,530 --> 00:45:24,270
Now you think he's
got any hangups?
1144
00:45:24,350 --> 00:45:26,770
You think he worries
about being too macho
1145
00:45:26,780 --> 00:45:29,190
or about success or money.
1146
00:45:29,270 --> 00:45:31,280
No sirree, Bob.
1147
00:45:31,350 --> 00:45:32,440
He has got it made.
1148
00:45:32,520 --> 00:45:35,200
I mean, all the
grass he can eat.
1149
00:45:35,210 --> 00:45:37,670
Let me tell you, that's
what I call living.
1150
00:45:37,740 --> 00:45:39,450
[thunder crashing]
1151
00:45:39,530 --> 00:45:40,370
Oh, no.
1152
00:45:40,450 --> 00:45:41,370
Wait a minute.
1153
00:45:41,450 --> 00:45:43,040
That, that's not what I meant.
1154
00:45:43,110 --> 00:45:44,050
Jonathan.
1155
00:45:44,120 --> 00:45:45,580
Jonathan do something, will ya.
1156
00:45:45,660 --> 00:45:49,670
[mooo] Jonathan.
1157
00:45:49,680 --> 00:45:52,550
Jonathan, wait.
1158
00:45:52,620 --> 00:45:54,010
Jonathan, wait.
1159
00:45:54,080 --> 00:45:55,130
My car.
1160
00:45:55,210 --> 00:45:56,680
Jonathan, don't let
him wreck my car.
1161
00:45:56,750 --> 00:45:58,730
[music playing]
1162
00:46:10,810 --> 00:46:14,240
[theme music]
78439
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