All language subtitles for All.You.Need.Is.Blood.2023.1080p.AMZN.WEB-DL.DDP5.1.H.264

Hey, buddy.

Who's a good boy, Spartacus?

You're a good boy.
Oh, yes you are.

Here you go, pal.

What's in store
for the evening?

Well, for this evening
it's going to be cold.

For this weekend, a high
pressure front will give us

crystal clear skies,

perfect viewing conditions
for tomorrow's meteor shower.

All you have to do
is look straight up

and you'll see one of the
best meteor showers of the year.

You'll see about one
meteor per minute.

And if you can get away...

...from city lights into
a more rural area,

you will get an
even better view.

Meanwhile,
for the rest of the
valley,

you can expect clear
skies and calm winds

from the southeast.

Careful, Bucky, never
mess with a sleeping dragon.

I got you, I got you!

The button by your thumb,
that starts and stops.

This is so cool.

Ah!

-I...love...you.
-I...love...you.

So today it was 68
in Point Valley.

It was 66 in Malligan.
65 in Porterville.

Hey, Buckaroo.

Chin up.

He just misses me, that's all.

I know, Mom.

I know, it's just,

can't you work some ghost
shit on him or something?

Turn him back into the old Dad.

Bucky, it's a process.

All Dad needs is a little time.

You have to be patient
with him.

I tried to show him
my footage the other day.

Do you know what he said to me?

He said, I should
focus more on school

and less on make believe.

Patience, Bucky.

Patience.

- Hey, Buckaroo?
-Yeah, Ma?

Your shoe's untied.

Oh, no, Mom, I'm not falling
for that one again.

Vish, we got a package?

Oh, what is it?

...broadcast
right here on WKJK.

Oh, you scallywag!

I'm gonna get you next time.

Come on.

Jenkem is a gas produced
by fermented human waste.

Addicts crack open
sewage lines to inhale

the powerful hallucinogens,

and the effects send users
into a dangerous rage.

One woman says,
"Bigfoot had me hooked

after just one sniff."

Okay, man.

I'm telling you,
this stuff is real.

You know my dad
saw Bigfoot once?

Dost thou confuseth me
for a hedge-born raggabrash?

Taketh my flock, plucketh
my harvest, haveth my fortune,

but my deeds?

No, my Lord, you may never
taint my good deeds.

All Earthly things
turn to dust,

but one's legacy lives on
in the halls of eternity!

You reeketh of mortality,
my Lord.

In my village, we have a name
for men like you.

You, my Lord, are a fopdoodle.

Cut!

Cut!

Hey, look, Vish,
you were great.

You were really great.

I promise.

But this time I need you to
really like whack me full force.

Otherwise, it's gonna look fake.

Okay?

Come on, man, are you ready?

Okay, listen, I'm gonna be fine.

Pain is temporary.

See?

Fine.

But film, film is forever.

Okay?

All right.

Action!

Awesome!

Oh, that was so good, Vish.

Let's do one more

just so we have some options
in the edit.

What are you telling me?

Picture yourself
in a tropical rainforest.

Imagine you are now a panther.

Panther power.

Strong, calm, relax, relax.

You're up, June.

This way, honey.

The snarling werewolf backs
you into a corner, literally,

emotionally, metaphorically.

The situation, dire.

The suspense, agonizing.

But you're the hero.

You dig down in the
core of your being

and scream like a banshee
thrusting the dagger

into the beast's heart.

Got it?

Great, let's roll, Hal.

Oh,

you're, you're taping this?

Yes, honey,
we film every audition.

Don't worry, it stays private.

Okay, everybody,
let's roll, Hal.

And action.

Action.

Poor little thing
has stage fright.

Cut.

God, if I have to see one
more pathetic amateur.

I mean, are you trying
to waste my time?

Or you just have no
one of actual quality?

This is abysmal.

No offense.

Oh, wait, darling.

Wait up, wait up, wait, wait.

Look, honey, I know this
audition stuff is scary,

and he can be an asshole,

but making an actual
movie is even worse.

What you need
is exposure therapy.

You gotta spend time
on a film set.

Take any job.

Coffee girl, hair, makeup,
girl Friday, whatever.

Get comfortable in that
filmmaking environment,

then ain't no nerves
gonna stop you.

Okay, honey?

You gotta face for film.

I know these things.

All right,
we'll catch you next time.

No, no, no, no.

Oakmont.

Okay, okay.

All right.

"Thank you for submitting
"Drops of Dew"

to the fourth annual
Oakmont Film Festival.

We have the very difficult task
of choosing from hundreds of

submissions, blah,
blah, blah, blah, blah.

Unfortunately,
your film was not selected.

Though it had its merits,

the story was bogged
down by a dry plot,

nauseating monologues
and ostentatious platitudes."

What?

The world just wasn't
ready for "Drops of Dew."

But did Picasso give up when
the critics called him crazy?

I mean, did Van Gogh quit
when he couldn't sell

a single painting?

Exactly, Vish!

And neither will we.

So it's onward and upward.

Aha, Vish.

I present our next masterpiece.

It's not just a drama,
it's a drama within a drama.

Poof.

It doesn't have a title and
it could use a few rewrites,

but I think it could be our
ticket out of this crappy town.

Oh, a local film festival.

Starwaltz.

$2,000 grand prize.

Man, we could make a kickass
film with that kind of cash.

This year's annual theme is...

...horror.

All submissions must
be in the horror genre.

We're not doing popcorn
entertainment, man.

I'm going for longevity.

In 500 years,
no one's gonna remember some

B-grade monster flick.

But dramas, those have legs.

I mean, classic cinema,
Greek tragedy, Shakespeare,

those are the kind of
things that live on.

All right, we are gonna
need a top-notch actress

for this project.

Can you put out
an ad for auditions?

Female, late 30s, no, early 40s.

Theater experience is preferred.

And we have auditions on Sunday.

Right.

You can say the film pays
40 bucks

plus 5% of the gross
after taxes.

3:00 p.m. Sunday.

You posted this at
both theaters, right?

What about the message
board at the corner store?

How about cafes?

Dang.

Well, dang.

You know, it's probably
just church traffic.

We should give it another hour.

We should have offered
more percentage points.

What?

What?

Whoa, don't touch it!

It might have space AIDS.

Last night I saw a flying
object that couldn't have

possibly been from this planet.

There comes
a time in each man's life,

when he can't even
believe his own eyes.

Guys, guys, come on.

I'm trying to watch the TV.

Dad, where's the rest
of your magazines?

Oh, the attic.

Flying saucers
seen over Hollywood.

I feel a breeze.

Why might I feel a breeze,
one would ask.

I don't know, Walter,
why would you feel a breeze?

I don't know, maybe Bucky
didn't close the door!

Bingo!

Dad?

Dad?

You didn't touch
the rock, did you?

Okay.

Vish, wait!

I got this.

Dad.

It's me, your son, Bucky.

You know, Buckster?

Buckarino, Buckaroo?

It's me, Dad.

See?

He remembers.

Anything?

We need to call the police.

Hello?

Oh crap, the auditions.

Hi, sorry I'm late.

The audition's canceled.

Actually, I'm not here
for the audition.

I just wanna be an assistant.

I'll brew coffee,
butter bagels, whatever.

Here's my resume.

Fine, whatever.

You're hired.
Thanks for stopping by.

We'll be in touch.

So what kinda movie is this?

Please don't tell me
it's some artsy fartsy drama.

Artsy fartsy drama?

Oh, so I suppose
you'd prefer if it was some

schlocky horror flick?

So it is an artsy fartsy drama?

Hmm, great.

You know what,
on second thought,

I don't think
you're right for this film.

I need a crew who actually
appreciates real art.

Your star has arrived.

I'm sorry, ma'am.

The audition's off.

We have to reschedule.

Reschedule?

No, I didn't do four hours of
hair and makeup to reschedule.

Okay?

Don't worry, this'll be quick.

Hey, you,
can you get me a water?

Preferably the bubbly kind.

No, you don't have any?

Or no you don't
wanna get it for me?

Speak up!

Uh, ma'am, my friend is mute,

and we don't have
any bubbly water.

What did he get
dropped on his head

as a baby or something?

Okay, we really don't
have time right now, so--

I'm sorry, what did you
say your name was again?

He didn't.

No one asked you, sweetheart.

Anyways,
what I was gonna say is,

it's just gonna take a few
minutes to see my chops.

You got a few minutes
for my talents, don't ya?

Oh my!

Oh!

You didn't say this
was a zombie movie.

Is this my costar?

Geez, what a hunk.

Vivien Vance, charmed.

Oh, god!

Woo, somebody's really
into their role.

You know, I always
admired method actors.

I don't suppose I can get
you to break character

and grab a drink
with me tonight, eh?

You're so fun.

Oh!

You know, I thought
this was a drama,

but I can do scary movies too.

I've been told I have the
best scream in the business.

Do you wanna hear it?

It's pretty good, right?

I'm calling the police.

Operator.

Hello, operator.

Can you get me
the police department?

One moment.

Thanks.

Vish, do you remember
that festival

you told me about, Starwaltz?

They added a new prize.

The winner gets
an apprenticeship

with Hans von Franz
on his next film.

Hampton Bay Police Department.

How may I direct your call?

Hans von Fricking Franz!

- You once said, and I quote,
- "That life is short.

Art is long, but Hans
von Franz is forever."

What does that
mean to you, Hans?

I create movies for
audiences of the future.

Why?

Because I want my art
to live forever.

The legacy of my films
is immortal.

Therefore, I, the artist,
am also immortal.

Hans von Franz will never die.

Police department, hello?

Hello?

We have to win Starwaltz.

Right, it's gotta be
a horror flick.

Well, if it means breaking
into the industry

and meeting Hans...

No, no, no.

Even if we wanted
to be sellouts, I mean,

we don't have the budget
for a horror movie.

Do you know how much it
costs to make a good monster?

Put my dad in the movie?

Are you insane?

Wow.

He's really into his role.

Oh, that's hot.

Hey, Bucky.

Don't you remember what
I told you about chicken salad?

Chicken salad?

Hey, boys.

Yeah, I, I ain't got all day.

You wanna see these
chops or what?

When life gives
you chicken shit,

you turn it into chicken salad.

That's not how the saying goes.

Huh?

Vivien, you've got the role.

Oh my god!

I knew it.
I knew it!

Ah, I got the role.

Ooh, I got it.

Yay.

Get some beauty rest.

'Cause we start bright
and early tomorrow.

Festival submissions
are in a few days.

We have to work fast!

You know, I really think you
should reconsider hiring me.

See you tomorrow.

Frick!

I mean, do you know
how many directors

launched their careers
with horror films?

We're still making a drama.

It's just a drama that happens
to have a zombie in it.

It's a new genre.

A zombie drama.

A zomdrom.

All right, Dad, I really
need your help on this one.

Don't think of it as acting.

Just stand there and be...this.

Okay, Dad?

Deal?

- Thanks.
- I knew it.

I knew this stuff
wasn't just folklore.

I wonder how many other
zombies have existed?

They say that Jesus
rose from the grave.

Was he a zombie?

And what about the virus?

Intergalactic bacteria doesn't
just come from nowhere.

That means that somewhere
there's an entire planet filled

with undead lifeforms.

Wow.

What are you doing?

I've used this recipe before.

It works great.

Super realistic for blood.

No, no, no, no, no, no.

We're not making your
average horror flick.

I'm doing something
new with the genre.

A zombie film with
artistic principles.

A zomdrom, no gore, no blood.

This is the first movie
in the history of mankind

to have a real zombie in it,

and you're gonna water it
down with artistic principles?

Where's the fun in that?

You're never gonna believe
who I met last night.

Dick Boeing, President
of Starwaltz.

Did you tell him
about our film?

Oh, I told him all right.

Yeah, I told him real good.

So good, in fact, that he wants
to visit our set tomorrow.

That's huge, Vivien!

Huge!

Huge!

I mean, if Dick sees
our film, he'll be dazzled.

And if Dick is dazzled,...

...then I mean,
we're a guaranteed

shoe-in for Starwaltz.

Did Dad hit the camera?

All right.

Here goes.

We're back in business.

It's zooming in on its own.

Hang on.

Come on.

Still zooming.

What a piece of junk.

Hey, it's okay, man.

Shit happens.

Shit happens.

Shit.

Chicken shit.

We're gonna turn this
into chicken salad.

We'll make our official
cinematic style zooming.

Every shot in the
movie will have a zoom.

I mean, the judges at
Starwaltz will eat it up.

They'll think it's like
a bold, creative choice.

Star.

Smile.

Strong.

Call action.

Oh, okay, ma'am.

And action.

Mother didn't raise us
as savages.

You shan't treat
a lady this way.

Now listen here, little muffin.

You think you're the cat's
meow, but I got news for you.

Ms. Vance, just play your part.

How fucking cute.

This must be your first time
working with

a professional actress.

To really get into the story,

sometimes us pros like
to read both parts.

Ain't that right, hot stuff?

Oh, stop.

-No.
-Okay, Vivien,

that's just not how
I'm used to working.

Oh, I'm sorry.

Are you the one up here
bearing your soul

in front of a camera
for the whole world to see?

Huh, are you?

Okay,
let's just try it again.

And action.

The shame, my brother,
your unmannerliness

makes father fidget
in his grave.

If that zombie ain't
outta here by dawn,

I'll take 'em out
myself, in pieces.

Cut.

That's good.

Ooh, Vish.

Ah, careful, buddy.

That's a sewage line.

You bust that baby open,
we'll be swimming in Jenkem.

Bucky, yoo-hoo.

I'm ready.

All right.

Places everybody.

Perfect.

And action.

Matter ain't dead.

Every atom in the universe
is alive and dancing;

trees, rivers,
rocks, even zombies.

Too much.

Bring it down.

Zombies ain't evil.

It's like Shakespeare said,

"There ain't nothing
good or bad about it,

but it's, it's thinking
that makes it so."

Less theatrical, Vivien.

But I know how to wake up
sleeping hearts!

Less, Vivien, less.

Brother, you're no different
than a zombie.

Your heart is fast asleep.

Too little, Vivien.

It needs to have impact.

For crying out loud,
less, more, big, small.

I don't know what the
fuck you fucking want!

Where the fuck are my smokes?

Let's cut.

Hey, Vish.

Come check out this shot.

I want your opinion.

What do you think
of the framing?

Any thoughts?

You like it?

No, but seriously,
what do you think of the shot?

And action.

Action means swing the bat, Dad.

Action.

Action.

Cut.

Bucky.

I think I have something
that might help.

We are not torturing him.

He's still my dad.

That's not your dad anymore.

Zombies are
completely brain dead.

They can't feel pain.

It's like a--
it's like anesthesia except,

well, it's permanent.

Action.

Hello?

Hello?

Oh, it's a voicemail.

Walter, it's me, Eileen.

I assume
you're not feeling well,

but you gotta give us a heads
up when you take a sick day.

God, you got me all worried.

Anyways, rest up.

And if you got a cough,
try gurgling some salt water.

The saltier the better.

All right, well,
call me when you can.

Cut.

All right, let's just
do one more, Vivien.

Geez, Bucky,
don't you have it already?

We have to get this right.

It doesn't feel authentic yet.

If I don't believe it,
then the audience won't.

Oh, authentic?

Okay, I'll show you authentic.

That's the spirit, Vivien.

All right, settle.

And action.

Cut.

Cut.

Cut!

Cut!

Son of a gun, cut!

Vivien, you're too dramatic.

Vivien, tone it down a notch.

Vivien this, Vivien that.

Who does he think he is?

I'm not a circus pony,
I'm an actress.

She's undirectable.

I mean, how do I direct
somebody who's undirectable?

June?

June, where are you going?

What are you doing?

June?

Oh.

Was I sleepwalking again?

I'll be darned.

I can't believe I missed it.

I want you to act in my film.

Yeah, okay.

June.

June, I'm serious.

You'd be perfect for the role.

You couldn't pay me to work
alongside that nutty hag.

No, not with Vivien.

Instead of Vivien.

I mean she can't act her
way out an invisible bag.

If you're in,
I'll fire her tomorrow.

I can't be your actress.

Well, why the heck not?

I mean, acting's easy.

Anyone can do it, except
Vivien apparently.

I don't do well with cameras.

I freeze up.

I've tried everything.

Homeopathic, hypnotherapy.

Nothing works.

Have you tried cats?

I call her Pickles.

She likes to cuddle cameras.

It's not so scary if all you see
is a kitty cat, huh?

You wouldn't know good acting
if it bit you in the ass.

Look, Vivien, I understand
that you're upset, but--

No, I know what the problem is.

It's that teeny bopper June.

She's always staring at me and
trying to get into my head.

I'm under psychic attack, Bucky.

I want her gone.

Vivien, I'm sure
that's not her intention.

The two of you just
have different energies,

and I promise I will keep
you in mind for future roles.

- Future roles?
- Yeah.

Wow, mm-hmm.

Well, so much for Starwaltz.

Don't!
You can keep the part.

That's what I thought.

See you at rehearsal.

Need a hand?

I, um, I've been thinking
about the acting business

that we were talking
about last night and--

I've been thinking
about it too.

And as much as I hate to say it,

you wrote a pretty
fun character.

I actually think I could
really nail this role.

So, I have a couple ideas
that I wanted to run by you.

If now's a good time?

I decided to go with Vivien.

As much as I hate to admit it,
she's my ticket to Starwaltz.

I just need to be
more patient with her.

I mean, she'll find
her groove eventually.

And I know that you
didn't wanna work on

some artsy fartsy drama
for your whole break,

so, I appreciate the sandwiches,
but you're free to go.

June, June, please.

Come on.

Bucky, I feel lost.

How am I supposed
to talk with Walter

if he's always in
fucking character?

I need to be able to talk
with him, actor to actor.

I understand, Vivien.

I'll see what I can do.

Dad, come on.

I know you're in there.

Dad, please give me a sign.

Something, anything.

I guess June was right.

Okay.

- I talked to him.
- And?

He broke character.

He broke character?

Well what'd he say?

He said he can either
act like a zombie

or he can be a zombie.

I said, "You're right."

It's better for the
film if he stays dead.

Wow.

What a professional.

Mr. Boeing.

It's a pleasure,
a real pleasure.

- Where's Vivien?
- Pumpkini!

Ah!

Well, hello my little Pooshi.

Listen, I can't stay long, babe.

I gotta go meet the old ball
and chain in a half hour.

No.

Ahem, Mr. Boeing.

Welcome to our humble
little movie set.

I don't have a title yet,

but it's a serious drama
about the human condition.

When I first conceived
of the theme--

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Cut to the chase, kid.

Okay, well if you follow me,

we're about to shoot a scene
that I think you'll find very--

Ah, shit.

It's that damn German, Hans.

Where's your phone, kid?

And the blue fairy gave
Pinocchio the gift of life.

She gave him a conscience.

And from that day forth,
Pinocchio was a real boy.

You can be a real boy too, Zed.

I believe in you...

...with every fiber of my being.

Are you ready for your tennis
lesson now, Zeddy dear?

There you go.

Is this supposed to be a comedy?

Little higher.

Very good.

Cut, cut.

Detective Moses T. Swan.

You must be a, Bucky Le Boeuf.

- Le Boeuf?
- Le Boeuf, yeah.

That's, all right, Le Boeuf.

I was here to see your dad,
Mr. Walter.

He wouldn't happen
to be here, would he?

No, unfortunately he's not.

He took a mental health vacation
down south to Baton Rouge.

Baton Rouge?
Well, good for him.

I'm here on the count of
a good friend of mine, Eileen.

She work down at the county
with your dad.

She was thinking about doing
a missing person report.

And I had to tell her, I said,

"Now, girl,
you calm on down now.

There's probably a simple
explanation for all this."

Yeah, I'm sorry that
he forgot to call.

He was in a real rush.

Said he was excited for some
fluffy Louisiana beignets.

Beignets, yeah.

I'm missing some goddamn
beignets my damn self.

-Well.
-Look, detective,

it's late and I was just
getting ready to...

-...turn in for the night, so--
-Oh, it's all right.

It's all right.

I'm gonna tell Eileen to just
go on and take a chill pill.

Oh, you wouldn't happen
to have the number

to your dad's hotel, would you?

I don't, but if you
leave me your number,

I'll have him call
as soon as he calls me.

Okie dokey, Bucky.

-Have a good night.
-You do the same.

Zeddy, no!

If you live by the sword,
you're gonna die by the sword!

Okay.

Arrivederci, everybody.

Mr. Boeing, where are you going?

We're about to shoot
the big monologue.

Kid, this is a snooze fest, huh?

My audiences want blood,
guts, not monologues.

-Sweetheart.
-Cookie only comes out...

...to play if Pumpkini
gets us into Starwaltz.

Babe, you were great.

But Starwaltz is in the red.

I need to sell tickets, tickets.

Not bore audiences to sleep.

This is the kind of movie
that needs time

for its themes to develop.

-I mean, my vision--
-Kid, kid!

I don't give a rat's ass
about your themes.

What you need is action,
violence.

For example,
your character should

blow the zombie's head off.

But before pulling the trigger,

you should say something
real cool like,

"Hey, zombie, suck my balls."

Pow, pow, pow, pow, pow, pow!

Eh, shit like that.

You can have that
one for free kid.

But Dick, Mr. Boeing,

I thought you'd
appreciate real art.

I mean, you're working with
a true artist, Hans von Franz.

Ha!

That crazy kraut?

The only reason
he's helping Starwaltz,

is to drum of publicity
for his next horror flick.

That's not possible.

I mean, Hans von Franz would
never make a horror film.

Well, kid, believe it and weep,
Hans is making a slasher.

Page me, babe.

I appreciate the notes,
Mr. Boeing.

I will take another
crack at the script.

Kid, there's an old saying
you ought to know,

"You cannot make chicken
salad outta chicken shit."

That's not the saying.

It's "You can make chicken
salad out of chicken shit."

Who told you that?

That's disgusting.

Look, kid, I'm sorry,
but your film's a bust.

Except for the zooms.

The zooms were great.

Pumpkini, wait for me!

Pumpkini, I'm coming!

Pumpkini, wait!

June, what are you doing here?

Vivien isn't gonna
last and you know it.

So, if you wanna
make this movie,

you're gonna need my help.

There isn't gonna be a movie.

Dick Boeing hates it.

Yeah, I, I overheard.

Dick left his pager?

Vish, what happened?

June, there's a first-aid
kit in the garage.

Grab it!

Okay, bud, this is gonna hurt.

I'm so sorry.

I know, I know, I know.

It's okay, it's okay.

Come on, buddy. Hold on.

I know.

Shit!

Where is it?

Vish, whoa!

No, no, no, no, no,
no, no, no, no, no.

Come on, come on, come on.

Bucky, I...

What?

Oh, buddy.

Who am I kidding?

I'm no director.

Never was, just a nobody kid.

Vish wouldn't want you to stop.

Don't you see, Bucky?

You can't let him
or your dad die in vain.

You've got a camera.

You've got zombies.

I mean, you could
make a killer movie.

Not according to Dick.

Some prick's opinion
doesn't mean squat.

Except, Dick was right
about one thing though.

You can't make a zombie
movie without blood.

She's right, Bucky.

-Listen to her.
-Mom, I'm not a sellout.

Look, you can still make
the same movie, Bucky.

You just gotta sprinkle in,
like, a little bit of violence.

And come on, you heard Dick,
Hans is into genre now.

That's perfect.

Not only will Hans appreciate
some blood and guts,

he'll also recognize
your artistic vision.

She's got a good point, Bucky.

It's interesting.

But I don't know.

I'm on Dick's shitlist now.

There's no chance at Starwaltz.

Fuck Starwaltz!

Yeah, fuck Starwaltz.

We've got Hans von Franz.

I know it's last minute,
Mister von Franz.

Dick sincerely apologizes.

But Starwaltz doesn't do special
screenings for just anyone.

It's a private world premiere.

Only for the most elite VIPs.

It's a private residence,

but the bar will
be fully stocked.

No, I don't drink.

Okay, Hans.

Well, I gotta bid you ado.

I'll arrange a taxi
for you Thursday night.

Okay.

Okay, bye-bye.

Ew.

Hans is gonna be
at the world premiere?

June, you've earned
yourself a producer credit.

Sorry, Bucky.

But you know what they
say, better late than ugly.

What the fuck is she doing here?

I've decided to take
the role in a new direction.

So, June is gonna take over
your part.

I'm the star of this film,
you idiot.

She's a goddamn amateur.

You think I don't know
about your little secret?

Oh, yeah.

That zombie is your daddy.

I saw your family photo
on the wall, Bucky.

You must think I'm dumb
or something, huh?

I want that teeny bopper
tramp off the set,

or I'm calling the police.

Okay, Vivien, I don't think
there's a need for that.

You must always call
when Vishnu sleeps over!

- Oh, hi--
- Where's Vishnu?

- He was just um--
- Mm-mm.

Vishnu.

Vishnu, we are late
to your cousin's wedding.

Ugh!

He went to the store
for supplies.

Vishnu!

Vishnu!

He, he should be
back in an hour.

Definitely too late for the
cousin's wedding or anything.

I can have him call
you later though.

You lie.

Okay. Okay.

We, we were actually just
working on a scene with Vish.

You can come down,
but I wanna warn you,

he is fully in character,
so just don't be alarmed.

Your son is a very talented
actor, Miss Gudi,...

-...you should be very proud.
-Mm-mm, Vishnu!

Hold this, Bucky.

Vishnu, Garena's
wedding is today.

Don't you remember?

Are you hungry?

We have to go
to the wedding, come on.

Come on.

Not Indian standard time.

No joking, Vishnu!

No joking, Vishnu!

We are late.

Come on, ugh!

Vishnu, come on!

Miss Gudi, please don't!

You can eat at the wedding.

Come on, let's go.

And action.

Cut!

Action!

Okay.

Okay, no, come here.

-Come here.
-You little shit!

And action!

And action.

Cut.

What the hell is taking
this little boy so long.

Probably in there jacking off.

Be right there!

Detective Swan.

Is everything all right?

Evening there, Bucky.

Oh, everything's good.
Everything's fine.

I've just been in the
neighborhood 'cause Eileen

keeps barking about your dad

and it caught
the ear of my boss,

he just wanted me to stop by
one last time.

You know, just to dot the I's
and cross the T's as it were.

Of course.

You know Walter never called me.

Was you able to get
my number to him?

Yeah, I was.

Sorry he didn't call you back.

He can be kind of
a flake sometimes.

Uh-huh.

Bucky, would you eat a piece
of cake with shit in it?

I mean, a little
tiny piece of shit,

like an ant-sized turd?

-Um...
-Of course not,

because then
you'd be eating shit.

See, little tiny feces
will fuck up your whole meal.

Now, lying is the same way.

In the Holy Bible, it said,

"The smallest of sin can fuck
up a lifetime of good deeds."

That's why lying is like
eating shit inside of a cake.

Now, before we go any further,

is there something
you want to tell me, Bucky?

There actually is.

Um...

My dad didn't go
to Baton Rouge.

Is that so?

He's uh, he's in Vegas.

Oh, Las Vegas, Nevada?

How come he just didn't
go to Atlantic City?

He doesn't wanna run
into anyone he might know.

He's not exactly proud of
his gambling, detective.

Understandable.

Ah, fuck!

Fuck, fucker.

Help!

Help!

Help! Help!

Yeah, everything
seems kosher here.

I'm just gonna wrap up
some little minor details

in my report and then
I'll get on out your hair.

Do you want some Bubble Puffs?

Oh no, I never touch the stuff.

I gotta watch my sugar.

So what day did
your daddy leave town?

Um, I think it was a Monday.

Monday?

No, no, wait,
it was a Wednesday.

-Wednesday.
-No, sorry.

Definitely Monday.

-Monday.
-Monday?

All right.

Do you know what hotel
he was staying at?

I do not, but when I was a kid
he used to take me

to the Pink Lady Motel.

I know the place.

We used to catch cockroaches,
tie tooth floss around them,

and walk 'em around
the room like pets.

Yeah, there's a lot of bugs
in that joint.

Mm-hmm.

But,
Dad didn't mind the bugs.

He said the price
was just too good.

So you might wanna
try the Pink Lady.

All right, I surely will.

Did your dad exhibit any mental
problems the day he left?

No, not as far as I could tell.

He was just his
normal drunken self.

Chipper as a clam.

Okay.

Did your daddy have any
outstanding medical conditions?

No.

I mean he's, he's had some gout
that's flared up

in the past.

Sent him to the hospital once,
but other than that, nothing.

Hmm, all right.

Well, I'm just gonna tidy up
the last bit of this

here report and I'ma go on
and relieve myself...

-...out your presence.
-Speaking of relief,

I should run to the bathroom.

-All right.

June.

June.

Speaking of hospitals,
I had to go to one last night.

I ran into the emergency room

and grabbed the first doctor
I seen.

I said, "Doc, you gotta help me.

I'm shrinking."

Doc told me, "Calm down.

Calm down.

You gotta get used to being
a little patient."

-Get it?
-Yeah.

-Little patient.
-Yeah.

You got a bathroom
I could use?

Uh, the toilet's
clogged in this one,

but the one upstairs
works just fine.

Oh, I just gotta,
you know, wash my hands.

Think I got a little
pickle juice on it.

See, yeah.

Oh, excuse me.

Boy this toilet's nasty.

What the hell?

Well, well, well.

Look what we have here.

Been bamboozled
by a snake in the grass.

Little lying son of a bitch.

You want to play, Bucky?

Let's play.

Oh, Bucky?

Bucky?

Bucky?

Bucky, I'm gonna take you up
on some of them cereals.

Is everything all right?

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Everything's good.

Look, my stomach's a rumbling.

I think I'm gonna
have a bowl of them,

what's the name of
them there cereals?

Actually, detective,
it's getting pretty late.

I was gonna turn
in for the night.

Oh man, come on now,
my stomach's a rumbling now.

You can't do me
like this, Bucky.

I, I eat fast.

I'll be out your hair
in just a second.

All right.

Yeah.

You know, I don't see any
crosses or crucifix around here.

I take it y'all wasn't
raised in the faith.

No.

You know, my parents weren't
into all that religious stuff.

Mm-hmm.

Romans, chapter 2, verse 7,

"To those who
by patience in well-doing

seek glory,
honor and immortality,

he will give thee eternal life."

Eternal life.

The one thing everybody wants.

Unless of course

it's the bad kind of
eternal life.

Hell, and don't nobody
want a piece of that shit.

Bucky, I bet you don't even know
how bad Hell is, do you?

Boy, I wish that you
could hear my reverend,

Reverend Arnold.

He has a talent for describing
Satan's torments

to the nonbelievers
down in Hell.

I ain't gonna do him no justice,

but I'm gonna give you
the gist of it.

See, Hell, Hell is not
for the claustrophobic.

I mean, they are jam packed
down there.

They packed like sardines
in a can.

I mean, it's so crowded that
if a worm

crawled into your eyeball,

you wouldn't be able to lift
a finger to get it out.

Then there's the smell.

Imagine the smell of every
animal in the world's shit,

like monkey shit, elephant
shit, donkey shit,

dog shit, baby shit.

All at one place at one goddamn
time and it's in flames,

making the putrid smells
gonna hit your nostrils

and tear your lungs up.

But that unbreathable stench,
ain't the worst of it.

Nah, the worst part of Hell,
it's the burn.

The burn.

See, Hellfire,
it's different than normal fire.

See, normal fire consumes flesh.

God designed Hellfire
not to consume flesh,

but it consumes
your insides eternally.

Your brain's gonna
boil inside your skull,

but ain't a damn thing
you could do about it

'cause your arms don't move
'cause you jammed so

motherfucking tight in there.

Your heart is melting,
your intestines also melting.

You feel it all, see?

Because he leaves
all five senses on

to feel the pain eternally.

But he gave us a shot.

All we have to do
is accept Jesus Christ

as our Lord and Savior.

He'll let us avoid
all of that tormenting

and make it to Heaven.

Now, it's not too
late for you, Bucky.

You could save your soul.

All you gotta do is get on
your knees and beg Jesus Christ

for forgiveness
of all your sins.

Now, for those non-believers,
well, there is no salvation.

So, if your dad,
Walter, is dead,

well, you can best believe
your sweet little ass

that him and your mama are
burning in Hell together.

Uh-huh.

Make one move
and it's gonna be your last.

Now I suggest you take
that little toy gun

and you put it in that
basket of fruit over there.

Otherwise, I'm gonna blow your
motherfucking brains out.

That way you can see what
the fuck you thinking

is some bullshit.

You hear me, boy?

Help!

-Oh.

You nasty little heathen.

My knight in shining armor.

You need help with that
little twerp?

And who the fuck are you?

Ugh.

Jenkem.

Jenkem.

Bucky, run!

We gotta go!

Go, go, go, go, go!

Really, Jenkem?

Bucky, that stuff isn't real.

You can't get high
off of sewage.

You can't, can you?

- I'm calling for help.
- Where's your phone?

It's the pickle.

Hans.

It's Hans.

He actually came.

Hi. Hi.

Yes, we need help,
like, right now.

There's crazy people
on they're trying--

No, no, no.

-No!
-That was a bad joke, ma'am.

My sister, the prankster.

-Ha ha.
-No!

We are totally fine.

We need help!

There are people that
are trying to kill us.

-No, no, no, really, really.
-Yes!

You'll be here in 15 minutes?

Can you gimme 30?

I'll screen for Hans
in the garage.

It's a mess,
but it'll have to do.

We almost just died.

And you are thinking about Hans?

You only care about your movie.

Now, June, we really both
don't need to go.

This is really a one man job.

- You're right, Bucky.
- I'm glad you agree.

So just barricade
the door and I'll--

It's best if I go.

Hans was expecting a girl.

June, we're talking
about my legacy.

Legacies?

God, what a stupid concept.

You think Shakespeare
cares about his legacy?

No, 'cause he's six feet
underground, swallowing dirt.

All the praise in the world
don't mean diddly to a dead guy.

And if you think all these
great artists' work is timeless,

you're wrong.

Every play, every book,
every movie, one day,

they'll all just disappear
along with every freaking

atom in the universe.

Nothing lasts forever,
Bucky, not even legacies.

Noted. Thanks.

Fine, I'll--
I'll guard the door

while you schmooze with Hans.

No, June, it's too dangerous.

Bucky, we'll be safer together.

June, you're staying here!

It's just, I mean, I--

I couldn't bear
the thought of...

What if something
happened to you?

I'm sorry, June,
it's safer this way.

No, no, no.

Hans, wait!

Hans, wait!

Come on, Dad.

Let go of my leg!

Whoa!

Wait, Hans.

Mister von Franz,
welcome to my world premiere.

It is a huge honor
to have you here.

Huge.

Where is Richard, huh?

Where's this delicious girl
I was talking to earlier?

Well, I actually just
spoke to both of them

and they are unfortunately
running late.

But Dick wanted me to get
this show on the road anyway.

-Uh-huh.
-Come right this way.

We're gonna be going
to our private theater...

-...for the screening.
-Okay, very well.

A male and female engage
in a love ritual we call sex.

We'll get to that
lesson in a bit.

No, Zeddy!

Being human begins
at the dinner table.

Anybody home?

She's about as useless
as tits on a bull.

Enough!

The only good zombie...

...is a dead zombie.

Dad?

You saved me.

All my life, I've been looked
at as nothing more than,

than a worthless hillbilly.

Humanity a-lurking
in my tender heart.

I'm sorry, Dad.

I know I ain't
been the best son.

I guess, my cold heart and
your dead heart are the same.

All we need is blood.

And...

Cut!

Bravo. Bravo.

Herr Bucky, simply stupendous.

And this ending...

What is the meaning
of this last shot?

Don't tell me.

I know, I know.

You want to remind the
audience that life itself

is like a movie and
therefore an illusion.

I'm right, yes?

I just thought it
was a cool final shot.

Ah, don't be so modest, Bucky.

And these long, slow,
beautiful zooms.

How did you think of the zooms?

Brilliant.

You really like it?

I didn't think that you would
be into the drama since,

you know,
your next picture's a horror.

Me, making a horror movie?

What a vile rumor.

Hans von Franz would
never make trash

to entertain
the plebeian idiots.

For you it's different,
of course, it's forgiven.

I know the rule
of this festival.

You see very few artists
have the je ne sais quoi .

You and I are the rare birds,
my dear Herr Bucky.

We possess the "it" factor.

So, forget Starwaltz.

I want to introduce you
to my producer.

He knows how to work
and develop auteurs.

You see, a young artist
needs to be like a seed,

watered very carefully if it
is to grow into a mighty tree,

a tree that will
last for generations.

So, come.

We should discuss this
together over a warm meal

in whatever your little
village calls fine dining.

Yeah, come.

Herr Bucky,
what are you waiting for?

Herr Bucky, what is the matter?

June!

What's in these things?

I feel great.

Wait a second.

Did you shoot me?

Ah, my zombie star.

Ah, my god.

For such a pitiful role,
you were fantastic.

I see still in character,
I understand.

That's true dedication.

The mark of a true artist.

You shot me.

You shot me.

Not that I--
not that I wouldn't do it again.

'Cause that stuff
was pretty good.

June, I've been a damn fool.

I'm sorry.

You were right about everything.

But I'm through with it all.

No more hoity-toity art.

No more chasing
critics or awards.

I'm done.

What about Hans?

-What about your legacy?
-Screw Hans.

And screw my legacy.

Why chase immortality
when being with you

kind of feels like
I already have it.

So what do you say?

Let's team up,
if we survive all this.

Just imagine, June and Bucky,

the unstoppable duo
of B-Grade cinema.

Why wait?

We're not gonna get better
zombies than these.

Let's make some chicken salad.

Wait!

Hans deserves a better death.

Come on.

Perfect.

Spartacus.

I think our climax is climaxing.

Ah shit.

Come on, buddy.

Okay.

Whoa!

Ow.

Dad?

Dad!

I knew you were still in there.

Dad, you wanna help me
finish my movie?

Just like that.

Don't move an inch, okay?

All right, Dad, you ready?

And...

Action!

Spartacus, you were a good boy.

And Hans,
I know you're still in there.

So suck my balls!

June!

And...

Cut!

We probably have a few minutes
until the battery's charged.

Do you wanna?

This is good for our acting.

It keeps us focused.

Living in the moment.

Every moment is a new
and exciting moment.

Ah.

That was great.