All language subtitles for The.Villains.of.Valley.View.S02E05

Celia, look at you.

In our house. All alone.

What are you doing here?

Every year, we celebrate
Hartley's birthday

at Madame Millicent's Tea House.

She's coming down to model
the dress I got her

for the tea party.

Oh, I've always wanted to go
to a tea party.

Mostly so I can squish all those
tiny finger sandwiches together

into one multi-flavored
masterpiece.

Well, keep on wanting,
'cause you're not invited.

Ooh!

It looks even better
than I imagined.

It's better
than I imagined too.

Who's a pretty princess?

What do you think, baby?

I love it. It's fantastic.
Can't wait for the tea party.

Okay.

Well, now that I know
these dresses are winners,

I can go pick out mine.

Tea you later.

Still not invited.

What's it worth to you to stop
me from posting this picture?

Can you really put a price
on your teeth?

Eh, I'll take my chances.

Hartley, how can you
actually like this?

I don't.

I mean, I used to
when I was little,

but now it's just a tradition
that means a lot to my grandma.

I don't want to hurt
her feelings.

So, you're willing to dress
like a grandma

to avoid offending your grandma?

Very Hartley.

What are the kids at school
gonna say?

Nothing.

It's too embarrassing
to invite them.

So, usually it's just me,
my grandma,

and her friends who complain
that tea makes them gassy.

Wow.

And I thought it was bad enough
wearing the worst outfit ever.

Second-worst outfit ever.

For your information,

this is what regular people wear
on vacation.

And I got to say,
I do like all the pocket space

in these shorts
equipped for cargo.

What vacation?

Mom and Dad are taking me
to a water park for the weekend.

Oh, that sounds like nice,
wholesome fun.

So we can pull
villainous pranks on people.

And there it is.

We're gonna clog
the waterslides with floaties

and we're gonna dye the wave
pool a horrifying blood red.

Or maybe even yellow.

What's so scary about a pool
of yellow water-- Oh, no!

Never mind. I got it.

So, you're just gonna leave me
and Jake here?

I mean, him I understand,
but I'm delightful.

Sorry. No room.

Our prank gear and giant
floaties take up the whole car.

Well, can't you just deflate
the floaties?

And make your mother
blow them all up again?

That's very inconsiderate, Amy.

Great. Your family's gonna have
more fun than I am

on my own birthday.

No, this is perfect.

You know, you've always
been there for me.

Now, it's my turn
to be there for you.

Tell your grandma
to cancel that tea party.

What? Why?

Because I'm throwing you
the best birthday party ever.

Well, does it have to be
this weekend?

Yeah, because my parents
are out of town.

Oh, so you're worried
that they'd try to shut it down?

No, I'm worried my dad would try
to drop it like it's hot,

which usually ends with him
falling like he's old.

Your birthday party is really
coming together.

I invited tons of people.

Seriously?
You can't stand people.

I know.
So, when I've had my fill,

I'm whipping out
the garden hose.

Hartley! There you are.

Oh, hey, Grandma.

We need to choose
your party package.

I was thinking
either Deluxe Delights

or Classy Lassies.

Uh...

You know, that sounds like
a big decision.

Let's discuss it in private.

You were supposed
to cancel the tea party.

Why is she still talking
about it like it's happening?

Well, I was thinking,

and I don't think
your dad would want us

throwing a party with all his
villain stuff downstairs.

Hmm. Hey, Dad, I'm throwing
a party while you're gone.

Okay.

Seriously? You don't care

if there's a bunch of kids
in your house?

-Your villain house?
-Nah.

The lair will be
locked up tight.

In fact, since we're going away,
I added extra security

that not even Amy and Jake's
powers can penetrate.

Seriously?

You don't trust your own kids?

Nope.

Anyway, I got to go finish
getting ready for the trip.

I gave Eva and Colby
a bunch of stuff to do too,

and if everyone does their part,

we should make it on time
for our hotel reservation.

Huh, never thought I'd hear
a supervillain

stressing about
a hotel reservation.

Hey, we may be evil,

but no one wants to sleep
next to the ice machine.

There you go.
My dad's cool with the party.

Now, go cancel
with your grandma.

Okay. It's just hard to find
the right time.

Aw, it's always the right time
to disappoint people.

Here, I'll show you.

Celia, I'm not going
to the tea party.

Fine by me.
You were a plus one.

Your turn.

Grandma, um, well, I...

I...

Here, let me help.

Grandma, I need to talk to you
about the tea party.

-What about it?
-This is where I leave you.

Fly, little bird.

You're not canceling, are you?

It wasn't easy
to book that tea house.

I had to lean on the manager
to fit us in.

Do you know how hard it is
to threaten someone

using proper etiquette?

No, it's just, uh...

Amy wants
to throw me a party, too.

So, are you saying you don't
want your tea party anymore?

No. Of course, I do.

Then why would you choose
that neighbor girl

over your sweet grandmother

who might not have that many
birthdays to share with you?

I wouldn't.

Good.
Then go tell her to cancel.

Absolutely.

How'd it go? She take it well?

Absolutely.

Here we are, ready to go.

Ah, great.

Did you finish making
the fake VIP passes

so we can skip the lines?

Uh, no, but I did have
a delightful nap.

What about you?

Did you finish the list
I gave you?

No. But, to be fair, it's kind
of hard to finish something

you never started.

Although, I did pick up
this sweet surfboard

for the wave pool.

I don't know how to ride it,

but I'm excited
to fall on people.

I can't believe you two.

The whole reason
I made us each lists

was so we could work as a team
to get out of here on time.

But if you didn't do any of it,
we can't leave.

-Did you finish your list?
-Of course not.

You two were supposed
to pick up my slack.

Okay, look, let's just hurry up,

finish our lists
so we can hit the road.

The door is locked.

Oh, no. My surfboard
must have hit the button.

I mean, this thing
is really hard to handle.

See?

Will you give me that?

Take it. Take it.

Okay, look, luckily, I can turn
off my new security measures

using my phone.

Oh, no.
I must have left it in the car.

Oh, well,
that's a good place for it.

Just use your phone
to call Amy and Jake

so they can get my phone
and open the lair.

Fine.

Yeah, my phone
is also in the car.

Okay, no worries.
I will just zap our way out.

No, you can't.

My new security system
is impenetrable.

Not even your powers
can bust through it.

So, we're stuck in here?

Way to go, guys.
Real responsible.

-Well, where's your phone?
-I traded it for the surfboard.

Jake, I need your help.

I promised Amy
that I'd tell my grandma

that I didn't want a tea party

so I could go to Amy's party
instead.

But then I told my grandma that
I'd tell Amy to cancel her party

so I could go to the tea party.

So, you're caught between making
Amy mad or making Celia mad?

Have you considered
facial reconstructive surgery?

I just have to find a way
to go to both parties.

I know. You can come with me.

That way,
you can distract my grandma

while I sneak over
to Amy's party.

Then I'll text you every time
we need to switch. You in?

Well, going to the tea party
would allow me to live out

my finger sandwich fantasy.

I don't know what that means,
but if you're in, I don't care.

I don't know.
Seems like a lot of lying.

Well, I never lie.

Except for tonight
and all the lies up to now.

So, as long as we agree
that lying is bad

and we shouldn't do it,
then maybe it's okay?

-Works for me.
-Me too.

So, what do you think of my tux?

Well, if your personality
doesn't sparkle,

at least your outfit will.

Just remember,
keep my grandma busy

so she doesn't wonder
where I am.

Happy birthday, Hartley!

Thanks. Oh, I'm so excited
to spend my birthday

with all of you right here,
where I will be all night--

-Too much.
-Copy that.

Oh, darn.

My fascinator's coming loose.

I should, uh, probably go
take care of that.

Hartley, wait.

You know what I love?

Is how the teacups come
on their own little saucer.

It's like the saucer is the
plate and the cup is the food?

Don't worry.
I won't eat the cup.

That's a mistake
you don't make twice.

Just for the record,
he was not invited.

Get off my head!

Okay.

Oh, look, everyone,
it's the birthday girl.

Where have you been?

Sorry. I was apologizing
to my grandma

for canceling the tea party,
which I totally did.

Why are you out of breath?

Oh, uh, you know,
parties are stressful.

So I'm, uh, doing some
deep breathing exercises

to stay calm and centered.

See?

Look, it's a party.

If you want to let stress out,
just shout like this.

Whoo!

Whoo!

Whoo!

No, louder. Whoo!

Well, it's not a party till you
break something, am I right?

What is taking Hartley so long?

I better go check on her.

Oh, uh, I'm sure
she'll be back any second.

Uh, so, Celia,
let's talk about you.

Tell me, what is your favorite
kind of, uh, sword?

Depends on the job.

You got your broadsword,
your katana, your cutlass.

But I'm partial to the scimitar.

Gets things done
without too much mess.

I got one in the car.
You want to see it?

No. I'm good.

Be right back.

Don't rush on my account.

Hi, Grandma. I'm back.

Why are you all sweaty?

Oh, that's from dancing...
in the bathroom.

I was dancing
in the bathroom.

-Why were you--?
-Because it's my birthday.

Hey, Amy. Great party.

Oh, did you just get here?

What? No.
I've been here the whole time.

I've just been, uh, mingling.

You know me, I love to mingle.
I'm a mingler.

Mingle all the way.

-Have you seen Hartley?
-Uh, yeah.

I'm pretty sure
I saw her getting a drink

at the, uh, the punch bowl.

There is no punch bowl.

Oh, then someone
must have brought one.

Guess this party is BYOPB:
"bring your own punch bowl."

Could also be peanut butter
or pretzel bites.

Any of these working for you?
I don't know.

I've never been
to a party before.

Yeah. It shows.

I'm gonna go get some punch.

Uh, you can't...

because Hartley drank it all.

She drank a whole bowl of punch?

Yeah, and she's
your best friend, Amy.

How do you not know
she's a punch guzzler?

Well, back to mingling.

-Have I mentioned I'm a mingler?
-Just go.

What was that?
And where is Hartley?

-Right here.
-Oh!

Did you drink
a whole bowl of punch?

Is that what Jake said?

-Yeah.
-Then yes, I did.

We never would've gotten
locked down here

if you hadn't had
that stupid surfboard.

Why couldn't you have
shape-shifted into someone

who makes better decisions?

Well, maybe
if you kept your phone

as close as I keep
my surfboard,

we might have gotten out by now.

If you had both just contributed
to the team,

we would all be checking in
right now

to a terrific hotel room we were
never even gonna pay for.

Okay. Okay.
Your father's right.

I say we work together
and blame him.

Yeah. I mean,
if he's such a genius,

then why didn't he invent a way
to walk through walls?

Wait a minute. I did.

I invented a Particle-izer.

It'll temporarily rearrange
every cell in your body

so that you can
pass through anything.

You know, for as much
as we made fun of you,

every so often you do
come in quite handy.

Anyway, once I'm particle-ized,

I'll just run right through
the locked door.

Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.

-Why don't I run through?
-What's wrong?

Don't you trust
that I'll let you out?

I mean, considering
all the shady things

you've done throughout my life,
no, I don't.

Hey, don't look at me.

I'm well aware of what goes on
behind your curtain.

All right. Fine.

I'll particle-ize all of us
at the same time.

- But I'm going first!
- Out of my way!

Wait, is something off here?

Why is Mom wearing
my hoodie?

And why does it feel
like it's still on me?

Probably because
my body's over there.

What did you do?

Our particles
got mixed up.

Our heads are on
the wrong bodies.

See? This is what happens
when you don't let me go first.

Wait, why did you stand up
when I tried to stand up?

Don't ask me,
I'm still processing
the whole hoodie issue.

Whoa.

Oh, my.

Our heads still control
our own bodies

even though we're not
attached to them?

Stop walking.

You're making me motion sick.

And if I puke right now,

I don't know whose mouth
it's gonna come out of.

You've gotta try these crumpets.
They're scrumpet...tious.

I'm sorry, ladies.

I really thought
I had something there.

Finger sandwiches.

-Jake!
-Hartley.

Didn't you get my text?

No.

Yes.

But... But finger sandwiches.

Hartley, where have you been?

And why do you keep
disappearing?

Your friends have been
asking for you.

Grandma, these are your friends.

Not if they keep
running up the bill
on these hors d'oeuvres.

Uh, I think I left my phone
in the bathroom.

Be right back.

That girl's up to something.

Why would she say she left
her phone in the bathroom

when it was in her hand?

Beats me.

I want answers, Willy Wonka,

or you can use
your pure imagination

to figure out
what's gonna happen next.

Hey, Amy. I'm back.

I mean, I never left.

Where would I have gone?

Maybe you should start talking.
Ready, set, go.

Is that your weird
tea party hat?

Hat? What hat?

Oh. This one.

Have you been sneaking off
to your grandma's tea party?

No. I just wanted
to wear the stupid hat.

Stupid hat?

Grandma.

You told me she
was canceling this party.

What?

You told me
she was canceling hers.

Well, the important thing
is we are all together now.

Wait, Grandma.

How did you even know
I was here?

He told me.

Hello.

You snitched on me?

I had no choice.

She took away my finger sammies.

Don't worry, Hartley.

I know it must have been tough

to choose between her
and your grandmother.

Your family.

Your flesh and blood.

Yeah, but, in the end,
she made the right decision,

so nighty-night, Nana.

Oh, no, no, no.

It's clear that Hartley wants
to attend both parties,

so why make her choose

when I can just bring
the tea party here?

-Wait, what?
-Come on in.

Time to party like it's 1979.

We worked up a little something
in the driveway.

Ready, girls?

Oh, no.
I know what you're doing.

You are not turning my party
into a grandma get-down.

Let's see if they can
keep up those moves

at a thousand beats per minute.

Keep it hot, ladies.

You've been drinking tea
for hours.

You've got the caffeine jitters
on your side.

Whoo!

Okay then.
Time to add a little bass.

Keep your feet planted!

Gladys, it's time to get
your money's worth

out of that hip replacement!

Okay, I can modify
the Particle-izer

to get us back to normal.

But since my head is on
the wrong body,

I'm gonna need your help.

Eva, I want you to grab
that soldering iron

and very delicately solder
that capacitor to the circuit.

Ow.

Sorry, son.

Okay, Eva, that wasn't
a soldering iron.

That was a hammer.

It's complicated. I get it.

Hey, maybe you should use
your own hands.

Well, then how will I see
what I'm doing?

I know.
Move me over there.

No, I still can't see.

How about now?

Oh! That's using
your invisible head, son!

I'll have this fixed in no time.

This is just like being
on my own body.

Aside from having to make sure
I don't look down

and see my own
gaping neck hole.

Reversing the swap
will take an extra power boost.

-Eva?
-Gladly.

Wow!

Shooting lighting from
your fingers really is cool.

I mean, my fingers.
I mean, your fingers.

You know, I'll be glad
when this is over.

-Yes! I'm back in one piece!
-We did it.

We finally worked together
as a team!

And it got us nowhere,

because we're still stuck
in the lair.

Hello?

Oh, it's the hotel.

Yeah, we're running
a little late.

We got locked in the basement.

I didn't have my, uh--

Can I call you right back?

You had your phone
this whole time?

Huh. I must have missed
a pocket.

These cargo shorts
have way too many.

Fight that bass!

Don't let those ankles crumble!

Stop the music!

That's it. Party's over.
Everyone out.

Oh, come on.

The little one was getting
wobbly at the knees.

Well, I'd love to stick around
and see how this plays out,

but I have a pocketful
of finger sandwiches

in urgent need of refrigeration.

I can't believe you lied to me.

You lie to me all the time.

Exactly.

Which means you stole my thing.

So now you are a liar
and a thief.

Ha!

Never mind her.

I can't believe you lied
to your own grandmother.

What is this all about, Hartley?

I thought you loved
having those tea parties.

I used to, Grandma,
but I've outgrown them.

And I know how much
you love them, so,

I didn't want to hurt
your feelings.

-I'm sorry.
-Sorry for what?

I've been waiting years
for this day to come.

I only kept doing it because
I thought you liked it.

-Really?
-Yes, really.

I don't even like tea.

Although, I do like to spill it.

I guess I should've
spoken up sooner.

You can always
be honest with me.

Even if it hurts my feelings,

at least I'll know
it's the truth.

You can't live your whole life

trying to make
other people happy.

I know I don't.

Thanks, Grandma.

You were right.

If I had just taken your advice
in the first place,

none of this would've happened.

Yeah, well, you know,

sometimes you just have
to learn things on your own.

I mean, there are plenty
of bad situations

I could have avoided
if I had just taken your advice.

Hmm. Does that mean
you'll listen next time?

No.

I spent the whole day trying to
not let you and my grandma down,

and all I did
was let myself down

by turning my birthday
into a big mess.

I went from having two parties
to no party at all.

Not necessarily.

Whoo! Now, this is a party.

Happy birthday to me!

Time for me to drop it
like it's ho--

Hey, it's not a party till
you break something, am I right?