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ANNOUNCER:
All aboard, for safety and adventure!
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00:00:07,008 --> 00:00:09,385
On the rigid airship Excelsior...
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00:00:09,552 --> 00:00:11,888
...where the pampered
luxury of a cruise ship...
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00:00:12,054 --> 00:00:14,557
...meets the smoothness
of modern air travel.
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00:00:14,724 --> 00:00:18,561
Yes, when you fly Excelsior,
you're flying in style!
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And safety!
BOY: Safety?
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But isn't hydrogen flammable?
And how, Timmy!
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That's why Excelsior is filled with safe...
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00:00:25,776 --> 00:00:29,238
I 1ML 10 g
Why, it's actually flame-retardant!
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Neat!
And safe!
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So, whether you're enjoying
Excelsior's majestic vistas...
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...duty-free shopping,
high-stakes baccarat...
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...dancing with your lovely wife...
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e =Y TR el o= Tar= =1
a French gourmet dinner...
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...you'll be enjoying them in style.
And safety!
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All aboard Excelsior!
ARCHER: God.
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00:00:49,800 --> 00:00:51,302
Who'd wanna
put a bomb on that?
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00:00:51,469 --> 00:00:53,596
That's what we're hoping
ISIS can find out.
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No, why bother? Some broad gets on there
with a staticky sweater, and boom, it's:
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00:00:57,975 --> 00:01:00,645
WAILING
"Oh, the humanity!"
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No, no, that--
Sterling.
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00:01:02,480 --> 00:01:03,981
Were you watching some other
commercial just now?
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00:01:04,148 --> 00:01:05,816
It's a rigid airship.
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Filled with helium.
Which is non-flammable! Dumb-ass.
25
00:01:09,487 --> 00:01:12,240
| thought our promotional video
covered that fairly well.
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Oh, and how. Sterling, it's totally safe.
27
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Well, except for the bomb threat.
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No, not to worry, dear.
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ISIS won't let terrorists
blow up your lovely blimp.
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Rigid airship.
My top two agents will be on board.
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Nope!
And | will oversee the operation...
32
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...personally from what | assume
will be first-class accommodations.
33
00:01:32,093 --> 00:01:34,011
Oh, actually we are fully booked.
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Well, if you think, oh, | don't know...
35
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...this "Trudy Beekman" person
can thwart a major terror plot.
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00:01:41,352 --> 00:01:43,354
| suppose we could bump Mrs. Beekman.
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Bump me, I'm not going.
If these two share a cabin.
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Not going to let the terrorists win!
Nope!
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We'll pose as husband and wife!
Nope!
40
00:01:51,279 --> 00:01:54,156
Cyril would totally freak.
Malory, let me stay with you.
41
00:01:54,323 --> 00:01:56,033
We'll do the whole
Oprah-Gayle thing.
42
00:01:56,200 --> 00:01:58,869
Nope! | need a stateroom to myself...
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...In case | have a gentleman caller.
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Mother, please.
=
45
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...do not make me do this.
But Lana...
46
00:02:07,628 --> 00:02:09,964
...think of the innocent
lives you'll be saving.
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00:02:10,131 --> 00:02:13,009
And also the fact
that this is a direct order.
48
00:02:13,175 --> 00:02:15,052
At least tell me
it's separate beds.
49
00:02:15,720 --> 00:02:17,346
VST
um....
Hmm.
50
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R-1aFz8
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R-1aFz8
52
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®-Takz
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sl
What?
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COUGHS
55
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Danger zone!
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00:03:00,264 --> 00:03:04,060
Terrible, awful, just gut-wrenchingly
bad feeling about this.
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00:03:04,226 --> 00:03:06,896
Baby, | really need you
to trust me. Okay, now...
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00:03:07,063 --> 00:03:09,940
...I1s the cabin small? Yes.
ARCHER: And yet...
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...surprising amount of storage.
Ugh. And I'll hardly be in here, okay?
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I've got a terrorist to find,
and | doubt he's hiding under--
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What's basically a twin bed.
AN Yool
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Since it's all drawers under here,
because look how tiny this room is!
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00:03:22,661 --> 00:03:26,582
Oh, my God, it's like a broom closet.
And yet, a surprising amount of storage.
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00:03:26,749 --> 00:03:28,709
Oh, shut up, and Cyril?
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Very eager to know why you're still here.
He was just--
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Just helping Lana get settled.
Trust me, Cyril. She already settled.
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Hey!
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00:03:37,301 --> 00:03:39,428
Disembark, Cyril. We're about to...
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...launch, or whatever blimps do.
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00:03:42,348 --> 00:03:45,059
Yeah, what does
a blimp do, Pam?
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Uh-- Kick your skinny ass?
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00:03:47,269 --> 00:03:49,772
Now come on, we gotta
get off this thing before--
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00:03:49,939 --> 00:03:53,317
Relax! God, we've got half an hour.
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00:03:53,484 --> 00:03:57,613
Oh. Well then,
make me a double Campari and, uh....
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00:03:58,322 --> 00:03:59,782
| guess vodka?
76
00:04:00,449 --> 00:04:03,661
We don't normally drink on the bridge.
Well, | don't normally fly...
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00:04:03,828 --> 00:04:05,621
...on the Hindenburg 2.0.
It's not--
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00:04:05,788 --> 00:04:08,791
Cyril doesn't normally storm off
without even kissing me goodbye!
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00:04:08,958 --> 00:04:10,960
\We're all out of our comfort zone.
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00:04:11,127 --> 00:04:14,505
Not me, my stateroom is gorgeous.
0a
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That, what's her name, Beekman?
| bet she's just sick she got bumped.
82
00:04:19,135 --> 00:04:21,178
Yes, she literally vomited from anger.
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00:04:21,345 --> 00:04:23,889
So if we could just focus
on the bomb threat?
84
00:04:24,056 --> 00:04:25,182
How about crew members?
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Anyone who might be disgruntled?
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SPEAKS IN GERMAN
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LAMMERS:
That's Lieutenant Krauss.
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He and | were both up for
command of the Excelsior, but--
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You got it.
Leaving him with motive.
90
00:04:37,862 --> 00:04:39,780
Release the mooring cable!
91
00:04:39,947 --> 00:04:42,366
Come on!
It's not Larry Luftwaffe, that's--
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00:04:42,533 --> 00:04:44,201
Oopsie. Ha-ha-ha.
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00:04:44,368 --> 00:04:45,953
--ugh, way too obvious.
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00:04:46,120 --> 00:04:48,789
2|
Goddamn it! We're moving!
95
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| know!
What happened to half an hour?
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_ | lied!
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CYRIL:
Why the hell are you two still here?
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00:04:55,713 --> 00:04:59,633
Because | knew you'd be here, because
you don't trust Lana with Mr. Archer.
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00:04:59,800 --> 00:05:01,343
No! No, now that is--
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00:05:01,510 --> 00:05:03,554
So ironic, Cyril!
O xRV
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00:05:03,721 --> 00:05:05,723
Especially in light of recent...
A4EE
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00:05:05,890 --> 00:05:10,394
...rug-burny events.
Oh, my God!
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You two banged?
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00:05:12,021 --> 00:05:15,816
|-- Uh-- See, here's the thing....
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I Y 1L
Wow. You are just a dog in a manger.
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| don't know
what that means, Pam.
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00:05:22,114 --> 00:05:24,909
| didn't grow up on a cheese farm.
Oh, for the--
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00:05:25,075 --> 00:05:27,411
It's called a dairy.
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00:05:27,578 --> 00:05:30,247
Even a hint of a problem
on our maiden voyage...
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...would Kill
Excelsior's stock price.
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00:05:32,374 --> 00:05:34,627
So, Lana, canvas the passengers
and crew. ..
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00:05:34,793 --> 00:05:37,922
...learn what you can about Krauss--
But please, be discreet!
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Hey, good advice!
Which maybe I'll just sort of fold in...
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00:05:41,467 --> 00:05:44,094
...with my 12 years of experience
as a covert operative.
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00:05:44,261 --> 00:05:46,847
Don't be snotty.
And Sterling, if there is a bomb--
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Captain, dear, where would
it do the most damage?
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Probably in--
This new place called anywhere?
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00:05:53,020 --> 00:05:55,105
This whole thing's a bomb. Jesus!
It's not--
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Wanna blow us all to shit, Sherlock?
Ow!
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Sterling!
For the last time...
121
00:05:59,610 --> 00:06:03,280
...the Excelsior is filled
with non-flammable helium!
122
00:06:03,447 --> 00:06:05,616
Although this is
a non-smoking area, Sir.
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00:06:05,783 --> 00:06:07,701
Damn it, he's a prospective investor!
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00:06:07,868 --> 00:06:11,372
Not after that, | bet. And forget
about Krauss. There's your bomber.
125
00:06:11,539 --> 00:06:12,706
Who? What?
126
00:06:12,873 --> 00:06:14,833
ARCHER:
That guy. Beardsley McTurbanhead.
127
00:06:15,000 --> 00:06:18,629
You idiot. That's Sandu Singh,
the billionaire investor!
128
00:06:18,796 --> 00:06:20,839
He's a Sikh!
Oh, so if he's not a Muslim...
129
00:06:21,006 --> 00:06:22,132
...he just gets a pass?
130
00:06:22,299 --> 00:06:24,718
That's called profiling,
Mother, and | don't do it.
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00:06:24,885 --> 00:06:27,805
Singh is Excelsior's majority shareholder.
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If anything went wrong on this flight,
he'd lose millions.
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It's a perfect cover.
Sterling.
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00:06:33,269 --> 00:06:34,770
Just look for the stupid bomb.
135
00:06:34,937 --> 00:06:37,940
Relax. What do we have, like,
four hours before we get to London?
136
00:06:38,107 --> 00:06:41,360
Sterling, are you joking?
The crossing takes 24 hours.
137
00:06:41,527 --> 00:06:43,487
Are you joking? What?
Rigid airships...
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00:06:43,654 --> 00:06:45,656
...combine the pampering
of a cruise ship...
139
00:06:45,823 --> 00:06:49,243
...with the speed of--
Some other, slightly faster ship?
140
00:06:49,410 --> 00:06:52,121
Uh, hello, airplanes? Yeah, it's blimps.
141
00:06:52,288 --> 00:06:54,498
You win, bye! Oh, God.
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| hope you didn't invest in this.
It'll be fine, though.
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00:06:59,086 --> 00:07:01,547
As long as nothing
goes wrong on this flight.
144
00:07:01,714 --> 00:07:04,675
Oh, captain, my captain...
145
00:07:04,842 --> 00:07:08,345
...with ISIS on board,
what could possibly go wrong?
146
00:07:08,512 --> 00:07:09,555
Pick onel
147
00:07:09,722 --> 00:07:13,517
Either A, | tell Lana what happened
on that scratchy green office rug...
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00:07:13,684 --> 00:07:15,603
...or two, you get inside me.
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00:07:15,769 --> 00:07:18,188
Or C, maybe | just jam this mop...
150
00:07:18,355 --> 00:07:20,149
...iInto the engine and kill all of us.
151
00:07:20,316 --> 00:07:22,776
| don't think that's how blimps work.
Darn, right.
152
00:07:22,943 --> 00:07:24,695
We'd just sort of float around.
153
00:07:24,862 --> 00:07:27,823
Stupid naturally safe helium!
154
00:07:27,990 --> 00:07:30,284
But | am liking the jamming imagery.
155
00:07:30,993 --> 00:07:34,204
And the killing.
And are you just gonna sit there?
156
00:07:34,371 --> 00:07:36,290
Yeah, until she tags me in!
157
00:07:36,457 --> 00:07:38,959
What?
I'm kidding!
158
00:07:39,126 --> 00:07:41,211
My back's all messed up.
159
00:07:44,048 --> 00:07:46,842
PAM:
So you're ruining Cyril's life because...
160
00:07:47,009 --> 00:07:51,013
...In your "dream the impossible dream"
world, it'll make Mr. Archer jealous?
161
00:07:51,180 --> 00:07:54,683
Oh, Pamela. You read me like a poem.
162
00:07:54,850 --> 00:07:58,854
Yeah? What's the poem gonna be about
when Cyril snaps and murders you?
163
00:07:59,021 --> 00:08:02,191
| don't know. World's gushiest orgasm?
164
00:08:02,358 --> 00:08:05,694
Can you just get out of the way!
165
00:08:05,861 --> 00:08:07,529
What, are you gonna shoot me again?
Yes!
166
00:08:07,696 --> 00:08:09,740
Oh. Well, then hang on.
167
00:08:09,907 --> 00:08:13,118
Cyril's already freaked out enough
about us sharing this shoebox...
168
00:08:13,285 --> 00:08:15,871
...without you air-drying your
unkempt bush.
169
00:08:16,038 --> 00:08:18,749
ARCHER:
Unkempt bush? You're one to talk.
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00:08:18,916 --> 00:08:23,879
Ah. My vulva is smoother
than a veal cutlet.
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00:08:24,046 --> 00:08:25,714
With terrible timing.
Oh, really.
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00:08:25,881 --> 00:08:27,841
Baby--
Did | interrupt something?
173
00:08:28,008 --> 00:08:30,344
Oh.... Rehearsal with your
Commodores tribute band?
174
00:08:30,511 --> 00:08:33,555
Archer! Cyril, what are you doing here?
175
00:08:33,722 --> 00:08:35,933
| wanted to tell you
something very important...
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00:08:36,100 --> 00:08:40,270
...but apparently you're too busy
showing off your vealy vulva!
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00:08:40,437 --> 00:08:44,274
Cyril! You know, your whole
trust thing, and I've tried to, okay?
178
00:08:44,441 --> 00:08:46,568
Okay, you know what?
\We are on a break!
179
00:08:46,735 --> 00:08:47,778
Oh, yeah?
LANA: Yeah!
180
00:08:47,945 --> 00:08:50,614
Well, that's fine by me.
Cyril, wait.
181
00:08:50,781 --> 00:08:52,282
MAN: No running!
CYRIL: Shut up.
182
00:08:52,449 --> 00:08:54,785
Oh, my God, what have --7
What're you doing? Go after him!
183
00:08:54,952 --> 00:08:57,705
Yesl!
Oh. You think | should?
184
00:08:57,871 --> 00:08:59,373
We're almost out of fruit.
185
00:08:59,540 --> 00:09:02,835
Which is why | find it strange
that you're so incredibly calm.
186
00:09:03,001 --> 00:09:06,922
Well, that seaweed wrap
just slurps out the stress.
187
00:09:07,089 --> 00:09:10,801
O R QTR e R C1l!
Trudy Beekman all about it.
188
00:09:10,968 --> 00:09:13,387
If, um, we ever meet.
189
00:09:13,554 --> 00:09:15,931
What about you? Anything on Krauss?
No. Shut up.
190
00:09:16,098 --> 00:09:18,934
Have you seen Cyril?
What? Why would | have?
191
00:09:19,101 --> 00:09:20,769
And what the hell is he doing?
Hey!
192
00:09:20,936 --> 00:09:23,272
What'd | tell you, huh? Huh?
OVIRUIaTal!
193
00:09:23,439 --> 00:09:25,274
There! Go buy a nicotine patch!
194
00:09:25,816 --> 00:09:27,818
DISHES CRASHING
195
00:09:28,235 --> 00:09:29,445
CLEARS THROAT
196
00:09:29,611 --> 00:09:32,740
Gentlemen.
No, no, no, what happened to discretion?
197
00:09:32,906 --> 00:09:36,076
What happened to that bartender?
Right? Guy sees an empty glass...
198
00:09:36,243 --> 00:09:39,246
...and all of a sudden he's Judge Crater.
Oh, for God's sake!
199
00:09:39,413 --> 00:09:41,123
Nigel, some chips for mister...?
200
00:09:41,290 --> 00:09:43,792
Archer. Ha. Sterling Archer.
201
00:09:43,959 --> 00:09:46,670
The minimum bet Is ten thousand, sir.
Dollars.
202
00:09:46,837 --> 00:09:49,923
| stuffed all my money
in that guy's mouth, because--
203
00:09:50,090 --> 00:09:53,385
Well, perhaps we could play
for something much more interesting.
204
00:09:53,552 --> 00:09:56,847
Yeah, because that was seriously, like,
all the cash | had on me, so.
205
00:09:57,014 --> 00:10:01,518
So if | win, | spend a night of
passion with your exquisite wife.
206
00:10:01,685 --> 00:10:05,397
My wi--? Oh, yes, my wife, of course.
Oh!
207
00:10:05,564 --> 00:10:08,192
Yeah, that's a deal! But if | win...
208
00:10:08,358 --> 00:10:11,987
...you tell me where the bomb-- What?
Baccarat! Mr. Singh wins.
209
00:10:12,154 --> 00:10:15,282
Wait, wait, wait, we were going?
The von Zeppelin suite.
210
00:10:15,449 --> 00:10:18,327
| shall expect her within the hour.
211
00:10:18,494 --> 00:10:21,205
She's not gonna be happy about that.
Um.. ..
212
00:10:21,371 --> 00:10:23,207
What, are you mostly paid in tips?
213
00:10:23,373 --> 00:10:26,001
Heh.
Almost entirely, sir.
214
00:10:29,129 --> 00:10:31,006
Well, whose fault is that?
215
00:10:31,173 --> 00:10:33,217
Prancing around in
your Fiacci knockoffs...
216
00:10:33,383 --> 00:10:35,969
...blathering about your vulva.
Hey, first of all--
217
00:10:36,136 --> 00:10:39,890
I'm just saying! You're driving
Cyril straight toward another woman.
218
00:10:40,057 --> 00:10:42,392
Cyril? With another woman?
219
00:10:42,559 --> 00:10:44,978
Malory, seriously. Look at me.
220
00:10:45,145 --> 00:10:47,231
L ook at me! Look at and choke me!
221
00:10:47,397 --> 00:10:48,398
CYRIL GROANING
222
00:10:48,565 --> 00:10:51,443
Oh, yes, yes! Oh, my God!
Oh, my God, what am | doing?
223
00:10:51,610 --> 00:10:53,987
Ruining your life, you idiot.
Ha-ha-ha.
224
00:10:54,154 --> 00:10:56,740
And making it hard to drop a deuce.
225
00:10:57,783 --> 00:11:00,619
Uh-- I'm sorry, what?
You. Now. Led Zeppelin suite.
226
00:11:00,786 --> 00:11:02,538
You have no proof
Singh's the bomber.
227
00:11:02,704 --> 00:11:04,164
He hinted...
That's profiling.
228
00:11:04,331 --> 00:11:06,458
...that the proof was in his cabin!
CE\s
229
00:11:06,625 --> 00:11:08,752
Yes! So go down there and find it...
230
00:11:08,919 --> 00:11:12,881
...while I go find the bomb.
Ugh. Bombs, bombers, vulvas.
231
00:11:13,048 --> 00:11:15,384
You people are just ruining my trip.
ARCHER & LANA: Uh....
232
00:11:15,551 --> 00:11:17,386
Well, don't stand here
gaping at me!
233
00:11:17,553 --> 00:11:19,888
Go thwart something!
234
00:11:23,851 --> 00:11:26,228
No running!
Zip it, Zipperface!
235
00:11:26,395 --> 00:11:30,774
Oh. Kidding, sorry. Hey, have you
seen that nerdy fruit-basket steward?
236
00:11:30,941 --> 00:11:32,860
Check
the Kaiser Wilhelm suite.
237
00:11:33,026 --> 00:11:36,113
You really need new names on--
Hey, what were you doing in there?
238
00:11:36,280 --> 00:11:38,615
Things for
authorized personnel only!
239
00:11:38,782 --> 00:11:41,034
So don't go in there.
It's verboten!
240
00:11:41,201 --> 00:11:44,371
Ah. Okay. Probably merits a follow-up.
241
00:11:44,538 --> 00:11:45,956
CYRIL: Archer?
Cyril? What're you--?
242
00:11:46,123 --> 00:11:48,876
Archer, | need your help!
| think I'm losing it here, man!
243
00:11:49,042 --> 00:11:52,379
What gave it away, my mother's--?
Why are you wearing my mother's robe?
244
00:11:52,546 --> 00:11:54,631
| can explain.
| don't think | want you to.
245
00:11:54,798 --> 00:11:58,218
See, it all started when you and Lana--
Cyril! You should tell her this.
246
00:11:58,385 --> 00:12:02,139
| tried! But you were naked and
it was all vulva this, and vulva that.
247
00:12:02,306 --> 00:12:07,144
Yeah, and as you're standing here, dick and
or balls caressed by my mother's robe, ugh...
248
00:12:07,311 --> 00:12:09,813
...Lana is waiting for you.
Really? Where?
249
00:12:09,980 --> 00:12:12,149
The Led Zeppelin suite.
250
00:12:12,649 --> 00:12:16,028
There's a von Zeppelin suite.
Which I'm sure is what | meant. So, go!
251
00:12:16,194 --> 00:12:19,072
Thanks, Archer! You're the best!
| know.
252
00:12:19,239 --> 00:12:21,783
LAUGHS
253
00:12:21,950 --> 00:12:25,662
So yes, the bottom line is that
| was unfaithful to you.
254
00:12:25,829 --> 00:12:29,750
Two-- Well, three times, | guess,
if a dry-humpy choker counts.
255
00:12:29,917 --> 00:12:32,711
And if you can't see
it in your heart to forgive me...
256
00:12:32,878 --> 00:12:35,797
... will forgive you.
Because that's what love is, Lana.
257
00:12:35,964 --> 00:12:37,341
It's forgivey.
258
00:12:37,507 --> 00:12:40,844
Which is not a word. Come on, Figgis!
All right, here we go.
259
00:12:42,846 --> 00:12:43,889
CYRIL GASPS
260
00:12:44,056 --> 00:12:46,016
Oh, why?
Hello!
261
00:12:46,183 --> 00:12:50,395
So, that's your idea of a break, huh?
Cyril! It's not what it looks like!
262
00:12:50,562 --> 00:12:53,023
Well, then, what is it?
263
00:12:53,190 --> 00:12:57,444
PAM: Okay, so Cyril got in over his head.
Jesus, God, did he kill her?
264
00:12:57,611 --> 00:13:00,697
No, no, no, he ran from her!
To go confess to Lana...
265
00:13:00,864 --> 00:13:04,368
...but so then this one starts freaking out,
and long story short...
266
00:13:04,534 --> 00:13:07,329
...1 kind of had to drown her in the tub.
So you killed her?
267
00:13:07,496 --> 00:13:08,705
COUGHING
268
00:13:08,872 --> 00:13:11,375
Apparently not, so...
269
00:13:11,541 --> 00:13:13,210
...good news.
LANA: Shut up, Pam.
270
00:13:13,377 --> 00:13:15,837
Did Cyril run by here
crying in a woman's bathrobe?
271
00:13:16,004 --> 00:13:19,216
Well, it wouldn't surprise me.
You're driving him stark raving mad.
272
00:13:19,383 --> 00:13:21,468
What'd | do?
What'd you do?
273
00:13:21,635 --> 00:13:23,887
Running around all up
and down this stupid blimp.
274
00:13:24,054 --> 00:13:26,723
Against the rules.
Half-naked, tits bouncing around...
275
00:13:26,890 --> 00:13:30,185
...like you're at a rodeo, then going back
to some billionaire's suite?
276
00:13:30,352 --> 00:13:36,233
| was trying to stop a bomb plot.
Oh, my God, there is no bomb!
277
00:13:36,400 --> 00:13:39,069
More good news.
And just how do you know that?
278
00:13:40,696 --> 00:13:43,323
Because | made the bomb threat!
279
00:13:43,490 --> 00:13:47,035
Trudy Beekman booked the very last
ticket on this flight, so it was all:
280
00:13:47,244 --> 00:13:49,705
"Meh, meh, meh. I'm Trudy Beekman.
281
00:13:49,871 --> 00:13:54,751
I'm on the co-op board
and I'm going on a blimp! Meh!"
282
00:13:54,918 --> 00:13:59,089
So, yes, | made a phony bomb threat.
Good for you.
283
00:13:59,589 --> 00:14:01,008
And yet you lecture me.
Lovely.
284
00:14:01,174 --> 00:14:02,217
LINE RINGS
285
00:14:02,384 --> 00:14:05,053
ARCHER OVER PHONE: Hello?
So, what would you say if | told you...
286
00:14:05,220 --> 00:14:07,097
...that your mother made
a phony bomb threat...
287
00:14:07,264 --> 00:14:10,851
...just to get a free ride on a blimp?
I'd say that's fairly classic her.
288
00:14:11,018 --> 00:14:13,145
Oh, shut up.
And then I'd just sort of laugh...
289
00:14:13,311 --> 00:14:16,189
...at the, uh....
The whatchamacallit.
290
00:14:16,356 --> 00:14:17,441
BEEPING
291
00:14:17,607 --> 00:14:18,984
lrony.
292
00:14:21,778 --> 00:14:22,779
BEEPING
293
00:14:22,946 --> 00:14:25,657
LANA: There's actually a bomb on board?
Archer?
294
00:14:25,824 --> 00:14:29,578
Archer? Oh, what the hell?
Where the **** are you going?
295
00:14:29,745 --> 00:14:33,123
Gotta get my turtleneck.
I'm not defusing a bomb in this!
296
00:14:33,290 --> 00:14:34,624
No running!
ARCHER: Shut up!
297
00:14:34,791 --> 00:14:37,836
Oh, and Lana, maybe you ought to
grab the Kraut. He's the bomber.
298
00:14:38,045 --> 00:14:39,796
SPEAKS IN GERMAN
299
00:14:39,963 --> 00:14:42,257
KRAUSS: What is this?
LANA: You know what it is, Fritz!
300
00:14:42,424 --> 00:14:45,093
So shut your schnitzel-hole and disarm it.
Oh.
301
00:14:45,260 --> 00:14:48,472
| getit. The German guy
mit a scar. ..
302
00:14:48,638 --> 00:14:52,309
...must be the bad guy.
Well, you know how | got this scar?
303
00:14:52,476 --> 00:14:55,312
Saving a Jewish girl
from a gang of skinheads.
304
00:14:55,479 --> 00:14:59,608
Oh, Jesus.
Yeah! And so Krauss gets a curb party.
305
00:14:59,775 --> 00:15:02,069
Wow. Now | feel like an asshole.
Your words.
306
00:15:02,235 --> 00:15:04,154
But could you be a lamb
and disarm it anyway?
307
00:15:04,321 --> 00:15:05,363
Yeah, probably.
308
00:15:05,530 --> 00:15:06,573
GUNSHOT
309
00:15:06,740 --> 00:15:09,785
Okay, got the turtleneck
and my wire cutters. Now where are we?
310
00:15:09,951 --> 00:15:12,996
We're at you just shot the guy
who could disarm the bomb, jackass!
311
00:15:13,163 --> 00:15:14,623
What--? | didn't shoot him!
312
00:15:14,790 --> 00:15:18,001
You think I'd bring a gun on this firetrap?
Then who did it?
313
00:15:18,168 --> 00:15:20,796
| did!
LANA: Captain Lammers!
314
00:15:20,962 --> 00:15:22,255
Nice read, Velma.
315
00:15:22,422 --> 00:15:25,092
"Keep your 401K in
company stock," they said.
316
00:15:25,258 --> 00:15:27,344
"The price can only go up, they said!
317
00:15:27,511 --> 00:15:30,347
Well, guess what!
Um, it didn't?
318
00:15:30,514 --> 00:15:33,100
Who the hell wants
a two-day blimp ride to London?
319
00:15:33,266 --> 00:15:36,937
Which is our only route!
Okay, so it's a niche market, but--
320
00:15:37,104 --> 00:15:39,606
Blowing it up will send
the stock price down to zero.
321
00:15:39,773 --> 00:15:41,525
Yeah, that's why | shorted it!
322
00:15:41,691 --> 00:15:43,985
But what about all the other employees?
Um.. ..
323
00:15:44,152 --> 00:15:48,532
See? It's that kind of selfish shit--
Lana, no! You'll kill us all!
324
00:15:48,698 --> 00:15:53,036
For the last time, you idiot!
It's not hydrogen...
325
00:15:53,203 --> 00:15:54,538
N a2 101as
326
00:15:56,248 --> 00:15:58,792
And what about that are
you still not getting, exactly?
327
00:15:58,959 --> 00:16:01,002
Well, obviously
the core concept, Lana!
328
00:16:01,169 --> 00:16:02,712
Sorry, | didn't go to Space Camp.
329
00:16:02,879 --> 00:16:04,339
How about bomb defusal camp?
330
00:16:04,506 --> 00:16:07,050
No, actually lacrosse camp. If that helps.
331
00:16:07,217 --> 00:16:09,219
| mean, a lot of those skills
are universal.
332
00:16:09,386 --> 00:16:12,139
Shut up. Agent Gillette, please.
Oh, great.
333
00:16:12,681 --> 00:16:14,891
Come on people, talk to me!
334
00:16:15,058 --> 00:16:17,185
What are we thinking? What are we doing?
335
00:16:17,352 --> 00:16:20,605
What are we wearing?
My crisis vest. Mr. Fatface.
336
00:16:20,772 --> 00:16:23,859
Lana? Hey, girl, are you there?
Yeah, I'm-- Hey, can you see me?
337
00:16:24,025 --> 00:16:27,654
| see your knockoff Fiacci drawers.
Ha-ha. You are such a bitch.
338
00:16:27,821 --> 00:16:29,197
Hey, Ray.
Ugh.
339
00:16:29,364 --> 00:16:31,408
Let's see that ignition, girl.
LANA: You got it?
340
00:16:31,575 --> 00:16:35,036
East German crap,
probably a GK-31 or 32.
341
00:16:35,203 --> 00:16:38,415
So on the side of the timer,
there should be a serial number.
342
00:16:38,582 --> 00:16:40,667
That'll tell me which wire
y'all need to cut.
343
00:16:40,834 --> 00:16:42,586
LANA: Got it?
Yeah, | see it! Ready?
344
00:16:42,752 --> 00:16:46,089
Since first call.
NI o/
345
00:16:46,590 --> 00:16:50,260
D Gy
T-X-X? Two X's?
346
00:16:50,427 --> 00:16:52,387
X-S! | jke INXS!
347
00:16:52,554 --> 00:16:55,932
B O N TV T2
the NATO phonetic alphabet!
348
00:16:56,099 --> 00:16:58,435
The what? Duh.
LANA: Christ on sale, is it S?
349
00:16:58,602 --> 00:17:00,270
Sierra! Ray...
350
00:17:00,437 --> 00:17:04,024
...It's niner three four,
Tango, X-ray, Sierra!
351
00:17:04,191 --> 00:17:07,777
Thank you, doll! Now there should
be a dash, followed by two letters.
352
00:17:07,944 --> 00:17:10,280
Okay.
Okay, so now | want you to cut...
353
00:17:10,447 --> 00:17:12,699
the blue and white wire.
354
00:17:12,866 --> 00:17:14,868
Which one? There's two of those.
355
00:17:15,035 --> 00:17:16,536
One's blue with a white stripe...
356
00:17:16,703 --> 00:17:18,788
...and the other's white
with a blue stripe.
357
00:17:18,955 --> 00:17:21,458
Yeah, and both are identical!
No! They're not!
358
00:17:21,625 --> 00:17:24,711
Ray? Hon? They're really similar.
359
00:17:24,878 --> 00:17:27,047
One's a teeny bit-- Blue, honey.
360
00:17:27,214 --> 00:17:29,341
Which one?
| guess that one, maybe?
361
00:17:29,507 --> 00:17:32,802
So wait, which one do | cut?
The teeny bit-- Blue one!
362
00:17:32,969 --> 00:17:34,304
ARCHER: Okay!
O-K?
363
00:17:34,471 --> 00:17:35,680
- Wait! Stop!
364
00:17:35,847 --> 00:17:38,266
You said the letters
after the dash were Oscar Kilo!
365
00:17:38,433 --> 00:17:39,476
1% slo¥s
What?
366
00:17:39,643 --> 00:17:43,146
O-K! Oscar Kilo!
No, "Okay!" Like:
367
00:17:43,313 --> 00:17:45,482
"Okay, now I'm gonna
tell you what they are!"
368
00:17:45,649 --> 00:17:47,901
Then you didn't!
| thought we skipped that part!
369
00:17:48,068 --> 00:17:50,654
Skipped a step in disarming a bomb?
Which | thought...
370
00:17:50,820 --> 00:17:52,530
...was pretty irresponsible
on your part.
371
00:17:52,697 --> 00:17:54,991
Why do you always do this?
Why do you always not shut up?
372
00:17:55,158 --> 00:17:56,201
STATIC SCREECHING
373
00:17:56,368 --> 00:17:58,328
Stop.
On the radio...
374
00:17:58,495 --> 00:18:00,580
...when we answer
in the affirmative. ..
375
00:18:00,747 --> 00:18:02,791
...we say, "Roger."
376
00:18:02,958 --> 00:18:05,919
Roger. Sorry. Ray.
Now. In the serial number...
377
00:18:06,086 --> 00:18:08,964
...what are the two letters
following the dash?
378
00:18:13,218 --> 00:18:14,844
You ready?
LANA: Goddamn it, Archer!
379
00:18:15,011 --> 00:18:16,680
First letter is B.
Bravo.
380
00:18:16,846 --> 00:18:18,306
Thanks, second letter is N.
381
00:18:18,473 --> 00:18:19,683
M as in Mike, or N as--
382
00:18:19,849 --> 00:18:22,143
As in Nancy! God, you of all people.
What?
383
00:18:22,310 --> 00:18:23,645
LANA: Archer!
Me of all people?
384
00:18:23,812 --> 00:18:25,689
Nothing.
Ray, hon.
385
00:18:25,855 --> 00:18:27,440
Okay.
Oh, so you can say okay?
386
00:18:27,607 --> 00:18:29,192
Oh, my God.
Ray, can | shoot him?
387
00:18:29,359 --> 00:18:30,527
In about five seconds, honey.
388
00:18:30,694 --> 00:18:31,736
LANA COCKS GUN
389
00:18:31,903 --> 00:18:33,697
ARCHER:
Lana, be careful! Jesus, the helium!
390
00:18:33,863 --> 00:18:36,408
Right after he cuts
the solid green wire.
391
00:18:36,574 --> 00:18:38,868
The green color is solid, or...7
GILLETTE: Roger.
392
00:18:39,035 --> 00:18:42,122
Oh. Roger. Cutting the green wire.
393
00:18:42,831 --> 00:18:45,333
GILLETTE: Archer!
Jesus, God! What?
394
00:18:45,917 --> 00:18:47,210
That's how annoying you are.
395
00:18:47,377 --> 00:18:50,213
Your mom's annoying! How about that?
Let's go there.
396
00:18:50,380 --> 00:18:51,881
Let's go here! Where Archer...
397
00:18:52,048 --> 00:18:54,050
...shut up and cut
the goddamn wire already!
398
00:18:54,217 --> 00:18:56,219
You shut up and I'm doing it! God!
399
00:18:56,386 --> 00:18:58,680
Oh, my-- Ray!
GILLETTE: What's going on?
400
00:18:58,847 --> 00:19:01,224
The timer sped up!
D o BV eIV NolVi Mg lXela=L- s Ko aI=Xe
401
00:19:01,391 --> 00:19:02,475
Yes! Roger!
402
00:19:02,642 --> 00:19:04,060
Steven! Whoever!
V
403
00:19:04,227 --> 00:19:06,563
What were the last two letters?
ARCHER: B.
404
00:19:06,730 --> 00:19:08,606
As in butt hole.
What do we do here?
405
00:19:08,773 --> 00:19:10,859
And M! As in Mancy!
406
00:19:11,026 --> 00:19:12,235
\What?
407
00:19:12,569 --> 00:19:13,903
CLEARS THROAT
408
00:19:14,070 --> 00:19:17,741
M as in what?
Mancy! What'd you think | said?
409
00:19:17,907 --> 00:19:19,743
Nancy! You idiot!
ARCHER: Oh, yeah.
410
00:19:19,909 --> 00:19:22,620
| can see how....
Then | was like "You of all--"
411
00:19:22,787 --> 00:19:24,164
GUNSHOT THEN ARCHER SCREAMING
412
00:19:24,331 --> 00:19:26,041
TIMER CONTINUES BEEPING
413
00:19:26,207 --> 00:19:27,917
Exact! Same! Spot!
Ray?
414
00:19:28,084 --> 00:19:29,336
Ray? Tell me what to do!
415
00:19:29,502 --> 00:19:32,255
So do you all have parachutes?
416
00:19:32,422 --> 00:19:35,425
LANA: No!
That would be, you know, problem solved.
417
00:19:37,427 --> 00:19:39,262
Push it off with your big-ass hands.
418
00:19:39,429 --> 00:19:40,638
GRUNTING
419
00:19:40,805 --> 00:19:43,224
GILLETTE: Good luck, honey.
It's too heavy!
420
00:19:43,391 --> 00:19:45,769
Archer?
Aah! Aah! Aah!
421
00:19:46,227 --> 00:19:49,731
| cannot do this alone!
You're not alone!
422
00:19:49,898 --> 00:19:52,192
Baby! You came back to me!
423
00:19:52,359 --> 00:19:55,779
Well, | really-- Lana, there's
a lot you and | need to talk about.
424
00:19:55,945 --> 00:19:57,906
And let's do that.
Right after we shove...
425
00:19:58,073 --> 00:20:01,409
...this huge bomb off the blimp!
Okay, but then we seriously need to--
426
00:20:01,576 --> 00:20:03,661
Cyril!
Sorry, here we go.
427
00:20:03,828 --> 00:20:05,622
BOTH GRUNTING
428
00:20:06,081 --> 00:20:09,417
CYRIL: Lana! We're not gonna make it!
NEERCEIC Ol
429
00:20:09,584 --> 00:20:11,753
We are gonna make it.
430
00:20:13,338 --> 00:20:16,216
Ha. Oh, my God! Lana, we made it!
Oh.
431
00:20:16,383 --> 00:20:18,551
Hooray for metaphors.
432
00:20:18,718 --> 00:20:20,929
| told you. Ha-ha.
433
00:20:21,096 --> 00:20:22,972
Okay, now then.
434
00:20:23,139 --> 00:20:25,058
What did you want to talk about?
435
00:20:25,225 --> 00:20:27,894
Well, uh, a lot of stuff, really.
436
00:20:28,061 --> 00:20:29,312
EXPLOSION
437
00:20:29,479 --> 00:20:31,606
Starting with the fact
we just bombed Ireland.
438
00:20:32,023 --> 00:20:34,734
Um.... Pretty sure that's Wales.
439
00:21:09,602 --> 00:21:10,603
English - US - PSDH
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