All language subtitles for Noel Joyeux 2023

What do you think?

Not great.

I ordered the wrong one.
He's tiny next to Mary.

Like it?

Yes, very nice.

See you later.

Before you go,

put your drawings away

and empty your pots.

Enjoy the holiday
and Merry Christmas.

Merry Christmas, ma'am.

Going away?

No, Christmas is at home.

Bravo!

CHRISTMAS UNPLANNED

When does your train get in?

I'm really sorry, Mum,

I swapped shifts
to be free New Year's Eve.

I can't be there tomorrow.
Do you mind?

No, I'd have done the same,
but Dad won't be pleased.

One missed Christmas in 22 years
is OK.

It matters to Dad,
but he'll understand.

It's the first year
without your grandma.

I know, I'm pushing it.

Shall I call him?

No, let me handle it.

He won't speak to your brother as it is.
I want a nice time.

Stop!

There's room.

You're good.

I know there's room, you idiot.

Turn the wheel!

That's it. Straight now!

Mangin's a pain with that huge SUV.

Just look at his tree.

It's plastic!

Did you tell him?

- That his tree sucks?
- That his car was in your way.

I had a call from Baptiste.

Look.

- Mum's favourite wine.
- Nice.

- So...
- There's more.

I spoke to Baptiste.

Beautiful?

Very beautiful.

I'll put it outside.

So, I spoke to Baptiste.

He isn't free tomorrow.

For lunch?

He isn't free at all.
He's on call.

- And not on New Year's Eve?
- He switched.

He'll miss Christmas?

You're disappointed,
but he's not a kid anymore.

Until recently,
Christmas meant something.

Even you don't seem to care.

Not at all.
Agathe, Cyril and the kids will be here.

Good.
Imagine Christmas without the kids!

Why not call Maxime?

Christmas is a chance to make up
with your son, right?

I'll put my garland up.

Hold on.

Take this.

Cyril...

Hello?

Tell me, will you arrive
for lunch or later?

Didn't Cyril tell you?

We're off to Mauritius as a surprise.
We're at the airport.

Cyril, you didn't tell Mum and Dad!

Sorry, Béatrice, it's my fault.
I didn't want to tell anyone

so the surprise wouldn't be spoiled.

I'm really sorry, Mum.

Your brother
already dumped us yesterday.

Wasn't he free?

When do you arrive?

Wish Béa Merry Christmas.

Merry Christmas, Béa.

Love you, my darlings.

We'll do the tree together.

Lots of love, Mum.

Lots of love.

What a bastard.

Christmas on a plane...

No family reunion.
He's so selfish.

Mauritius is a nice Christmas gift.

Why fly today?

It costs twice as much tomorrow.

His wallet is full of moths.

It isn't.
He's taking his family to the tropics.

On a low-cost flight.

When was the last time
you offered to take me away?

Even on a low-cost flight?

We'll look great sharing a turkey.

I like the idea of it being just us.
It'll be a romantic Christmas.

Christmas isn't romantic,
it's a family celebration.

Actually, Vincent,
I look on you as my family.

32 years of marriage

makes a pretty valid family.

You know what I mean.
At Christmas, we gather and share.

This is a chance to change.

Know what?

No kids, no turkey.

- No turkey?
- No.

- Seriously?
- Yes!

Into the freezer with it!

No tree then.
A Christmas-free Christmas.

You're right! No tree.

What're you doing?

What're you doing?

No Christmas, no tree.
Open the door.

Why no Christmas?
It's a different Christmas.

Leave the tree, it's absurd.

It isn't.

No turkey, no Christmas, no tree.

It's a waste to throw it out.

I'll call the church.

It's a fine tree
for people who celebrate.

The door, please.

It's not even snowing.

Preserve the spirit of Christmas.

Give Christmas a meaning.

That's our indispensable gift.

Because what is the deep meaning
of Christmas?

Above all,

it is sharing, listening,

being together, united...

That's it exactly.

As you know,

many people are alone
at Christmas.

So, as an idea,
why not invite someone who's alone?

A neighbour, an acquaintance,

lonely people,

and who, thanks to you, tonight,

will be a bit like your family.

You really don't want to be
alone with me.

It's not that.

Why take the priest's advice?

This religious zeal is new.

Why invite an oldie over?

I don't want an evening with an oldie.

The priest reminded me of Mum.

If she'd ended up alone,

I'd have loved a family
to host her at Christmas.

Some years, I'd have loved
another family to host her.

I'm joking. Sorry.

Hosting someone alone
is a nice idea.

I'd be a monster if I said no.

So you agree?

Let's say I can't disagree.

Here we are. The Acacias.

There's even a free space right outside.

I have one condition, Vincent.

The turkey stays frozen.

If you want.

There.

She's on the second floor,
in a sunny room.

Room 208.

The lift's just there.

Sir?

That's a tasty Christmas menu.

Our chef tries hard.

Here to see someone?

Actually, it's a bit unusual.
I'll explain.

Would it be possible

to host one of your residents

to offer him or her the chance
to spend Christmas with us at home?

You're here to pick up a relative?

No, I'm inviting an oldie to stay.

An old gentleman, or an old lady,

to celebrate Christmas
with my wife and me.

We'd like to offer
an alternative evening.

Our priest gave us the idea.

The Acacias, hello.

I forgot to call you.

Let me check that right away.

Yes, I got your email.

Totally.

She's glad to see you.
Look who's here.

Merry Christmas.

See you tomorrow, Bernadette.

All our meals

can be served in a blended version

that requires no chewing.

Grannie?

Look who's here, Bernadette, it's...

Here you go.
She's pleased to see you.

We were waiting for you.

Merry Christmas.

He's here now.

Bad news, I'm afraid.

We're full.

Full?

No free beds.
Find another home.

We're full!

Don't shout, I hear you.

Speak louder, please!

So, you're Mr...

I'm Mr Barrand.

- Baron?
- Rand. Barrand.

Randbaron?

Actually, I...

Would it be possible

to invite a resident
to spend Christmas with us?

When?

Tonight.

The 24th?

Yes, the 24th.

A good day
to celebrate Christmas.

OK, I get it!

You want to celebrate Christmas here?

No, the thing is...

At mass, the priest...

Father, forgive me.

I'll let them know.
Wait right here.

A priest's here if you want.

Hello, the Limes hostess
will reply shortly.

Please hold the line.

It's easier to adopt a kid
than invite an oldie at Christmas!

At least you'll have tried.

- Truffled sea bass?
- Fine by me.

Lovely.

I'm off to the Limes.

They've found me someone.

It's quite a drive.

Hurry before it closes.

It's not a supermarket.

But get the right goods.

Sorry?

Pick our guest well.

Not all old people are alike.

If you can,
get someone spirited and friendly.

It's not an audition.

I know,
but choose carefully hygiene-wise.

What's wrong?

I'm not getting a rescue dog.

But some old people bite.

Don't pick someone incontinent
or a rusty old bat.

I don't want Christmas
with a urine-reeking oldie.

Promise.

When I get there, I'll ask for the best.

No oddments or blue rinses!

Good evening.

Is anyone here?

No one?

Sir?

Excuse me, sir.

Who's in charge here?

Merry Christmas!

We didn't mean to scare you,

but we couldn't resist
on hearing the car.

They have so few visits,
it's good to laugh.

Yes, indeed.

Isabelle Frémaud, the director.
You're Mr Barrand?

Yes, Vincent Barrand.

Was it hard finding us?

A little. On arriving,
I asked this gentleman,

who didn't answer.

Adrien wasn't likely to.

- He's a mute?
- No, he's sad.

He arrived two years ago,
just after his wife died.

He's not mute,
but he never speaks.

Over to us.

We'll do the exit authorization
after you meet Monique.

She'll be going with you.
Follow me.

Careful, Fernand.

- Georges is cheating.
- As usual.

Janine, your coffee's cold.

Let me introduce you.

Monique.

Monique, meet Mr Barrand.

You'll spend Christmas at his house.

Hello, Monique.

We're off.

Merry Christmas.

Excuse me,
I'll let you get acquainted.

- Why can't I go?
- Later, Gisèle.

You're not staying with your mother?

It's too complicated.

We have a long drive.

Why can't I come?

Tell me, why?

My in-laws invited us.

Why can't I come?

What's wrong, Gisèle?

Shut up!

Why can't I go?

Who'd want to spend Christmas with you?

Don't start, you two.
It's Christmas.

It's Christmas.

With that Santa,
the kids' presents will be late.

Are you comfortable?

If you're too hot or too cold,
tell me.

No snow, but lots of stars.

It's a fine night.

Excuse me, that's my daughter.

Hi, Dad.
We wanted to say Merry Christmas.

Merry Christmas.

Mum told you?

- Sorry.
- She told me.

Christmas in flight is original.

Especially as we've been waiting
two hours to take off.

A plane without fuel is cheaper.

What?

Nothing.

Gotta go, an announcement.

Lots of love, Dad.
Merry Christmas.

Lots of love.

That was my daughter.

She's on a plane, but it isn't flying.

That way, it won't crash.

Come in, Monique.

Give me your handbag and your coat.

Would you like to...
wash your hands?

Honey, I'm back, with Monique.

I didn't hear you.

Meet Béatrice, my wife.

Delighted.

We had a Béatrice at the Limes.
97 years old.

Our oldest resident.

A fat, very nice lady.

She left us in August.

The Lord sent for her?

No, her son did.

She was happy with us,

but he preferred the Acacias
as it was closer to home.

She was gone the next day.

Back to the Limes?

No, she died suddenly.

Good old Béatrice.

You have a lovely home.

Thank you.

I really like that candle.
It smells nice.

It's hibiscus.

What can we get you?
Tea? Sparkling water?

No, a glass of whisky.

Yes, a drop of whisky warms you up.

No, not a drop, a glass of whisky.

Lovely. What are their names?

Well...

Agathe is the oldest,

then Maxime,
and our youngest, Baptiste.

We had a Baptiste at the Limes.

He left us in February.

He was 94.

We called him our old tree

as he was so sturdy.

Then, one day, the old tree

fell down dead.

Good old Baptiste.

Are those the grandchildren?

Thibaut and Lucien.

We had a Lucien at the Limes.

One day, during a meal,
he turned bright red.

We laughed,
thinking he was fooling.

But not at all.
He was choking on a piece of meat.

He collapsed into his plate.

Dead as a doornail.

Good old Lucien.

Charming, isn't she?

If you avoid saying a name,
she's charming.

A name, a death.

She's sharing stories.
It's touching.

It's gloomy.

So, please, no more names from now on.

I won't count the dead all night.

The photos in your hallway
are beautiful.

Our previous Christmases.

I love the one of you by the sea.

2017.
My brother Thierry took it.

No names!

Who?

Someone.

It's very pretty.

We were in St Malo.

St Malo!

My sister Françoise was buried there.

Ten years fighting the disease.

But the disease always wins in the end.

Good old Françoise.

What a lovely tree!

Now, that's really Christmas.

Unbelievable!
Honey, he took our tree!

Wasn't it for the church?

That bastard took it first.

Why don't you have a tree?

Yes, that's right.

Why don't we have a tree?

We didn't do a tree for the two of us.

But it's not the two of you now.

Didn't you see the lights outside?

You can't see from here,

but outside it's Christmas.

So let's eat outside.

What do you say, Monique?

It'll be my first Christmas
without a tree.

And maybe my last.

I'll see to it.

You'll get it back from Mangin?

No, I'll find
an even more beautiful one.

Need a hand?

Thanks, I'm parked there.

You've got a nerve.

Sorry.

I thought someone dumped it.

Right, people always dump trees
on Christmas Eve.

What a joker!

Forgive me.

I'm not afraid of death.
I'm waiting for it.

You never know,
it could happen tonight, or tomorrow.

Tomorrow would be better.

Come on, let's leave death aside a bit.

Christmas is fun.

Tell me,
what did you do for a living, Monique?

I was a gardener.

Lovely!

At the Bonchamps cemetery.

Did you work too?

I still work.

I teach art
at the Paul Eluard Middle School.

That's brave at your age!

How old do you think I am?

I don't know.
I don't want to upset you.

It's too late now.

I'll teach you a trick.

Imagine someone's age
and take off ten years.

That way you won't upset anyone.

That's clever.

Hold on a second...

56.

That's not right?

It is, that's it exactly.

Hiya!

The last one. Where do I put it?

Two options...

Option one.

Option two.

One.

Two.

Let's go with that.

Did it go well?

Vincent, how old would you say I am?

Why do you ask?

I've really aged this year.

You never said, but I can tell.

Be honest.
How old would you say I am?

The age you are, honey.

Look at me, I'm getting old.

We're getting old,

but together and we're ageing well.

Besides, it's all relative.

You look young next to Monique.

Thanks. That's a great comfort!

Do you know how old she thought I was?
66.

66.

Old people can't see well.
You don't look 66.

You don't look 58.

But I'm 56.

Hold on.

Monique, let me ask you...

How old do you think I am?

Let me see... 52.

Thanks, but I'm a bit older.

I got your wife's age right
at the first go.

56.

What are you talking about?

Let's decorate the tree.

Look, Monique, a pretty reindeer.

Hello, little reindeer.

Pretty, isn't he?

So pretty.

Reindeer here...

The dwarf tree isn't bad after all.

There's no need

to climb up to decorate it.

You have to be careful
of accidents in the home.

One Christmas,

at the Limes,
André, a very big fellow,

climbed on a chair...

Fell and split his head open.

Blood everywhere, right?

Not at all.

He nearly fell,

but someone caught him.

You're very macabre, you know.

Yes, what's wrong?

Are you OK, Monique?

Is it the bauble?

No, it's your tree.

It's depressing.

It's not the tree.

You see. It's not the tree.

It's Jeannette.

My best friend, Jeanne.

We'd do the tree every Christmas,
but it won't be possible this year.

Has she passed?

Not at all!

She's all alone at the Limes.

I'm the only friend she has.

This will be the first Christmas

we spend apart.

I hate myself

for leaving her.

Don't worry,
we'll have a lovely Christmas together.

Vincent can take you back.

You'll spend Christmas
with Jeannette as usual.

Vincent, you can see
Monique's unhappy here.

We thought we did right
to invite Monique,

but we were wrong.

Don't spoil her Christmas
by parting her from her best friend.

That's not the Christmas spirit.

Here...

Off you go, Monique.

You'll have a lovely tree there.

It's plastic, you know.

They do wonders with plastic these days.

Come on, there's no time to lose.

Hold on a second.

Here, our best baubles.
One for you, one for Jeannette.

When you put them on the tree,
think of us.

Honey, take a photo for me.

Thank you so much.

Thank you, Monique,
you're a lovely person.

Merry Christmas.

Goodbye. Drive safely.

Hiya!

Merry Christmas, Monique.

Thank you.

You came to get me.

He came to get me!

- He'll take me.
- What now?

He's going to take me.

- Take her to her room.
- Take me!

Back already?
Didn't it go well?

It's not that.

She felt a bit down
and wanted to be with her friend.

Monique and Jeanne are inseparable.

We made these earlier.
Have one.

It's not edible.
It's polystyrene.

Decorations.

Not meringues.

No, table decorations.

A glass of water?

- No, thank you.
- A drop of bubbly?

My wife's waiting.

I understand.

Merry Christmas, Mr Barrand.
Till next time.

Jacques... Wake up.

I had seven siblings.

I'd cook for them every Christmas.

That's over now.

So when Christmas comes around,

I get a little sad and think of them.

Yet they're all here.

Thank you.

Mr Vincent, can I come back?

Can we take Jeanne too?

Please say yes.

Is that Jeanne?

No, I'm Jeanne.

Shall we go?

Unbelievable.

What's wrong?

My neighbour parks his guests
outside my gate.

Monique, don't catch a chill.

I'll park further on.

What are you doing?

He's badly parked.
It's your place, right?

Stop that!

Good evening. You are?

Dying of cold.

We brought Jeannette back to party.

Two for the price of one?

Black Friday at the care home?

Don't worry.

She's adorable.

What's that stink of fish?

Adorable...

Truffled sea bass.

Not very Christmassy.

When I got here,
they had no tree.

I still don't see one.

I see a flashing bonsai,
but no Christmas tree.

We should've gone there.

At least their tree
looks like something.

Jeanne, won't you take your coat off?

I'm still chilly from your car.

The heat doesn't circulate.

Normal for a low-end model.

Let me take your coat.

What would you like?

A foot massage.

I meant to drink.

I don't know.

All right then...

Cheers.

No children or grandchildren tonight?

They're in the sky.

OK, I didn't know.

In the sky on a plane.
They're not dead.

Ah, OK.

Thank God.

Unless the plane has a problem.

Imagine, on Christmas Eve...

The safety announcements
always make me laugh.

Could a life vest really save you
if you fell from the sky?

Don't worry.

If they'd crashed,
you'd know by now.

Right?

I'd love another drop.

Thank you.

Mum...

Why can't we change planes?

We need authorization to disembark.
I'll keep you posted.

Want something, sir?

To take off.

Ringing, but no reply.

They're in flight.

If it rings, they aren't.
They'd be in flight mode.

That's why it's called flight mode.

Let's have our presents.

Want them now or after dinner?

I need your bathroom first.

I'll take you.

I'd rather go alone.

Come on, Jeannette, I'll show you.

It's that idiot Cyril's fault
with his low-cost flight!

Relax, honey.

She's right.
We'd know if they'd crashed.

Thanks, that really helps me relax.

Cheer up. It's present time.

What presents?

I have a present for you.

What about them?
Got presents for them?

- Shit, no.
- So?

We let them watch us open ours?
Great Christmas spirit.

Playmobil castle.

Funny Bunny. A Thor costume.

Thor isn't bad for Jeanne.

Look.

Swap "Grown-ups' Santa"
for "Oldies' Santa".

Money? That's so tacky.

There must be something
we can give them.

This lamp? Do you really like it?

I hate it.

This tray?
Do we really want it?

Help me out.

All right then. Here.

Duke Ellington. For Monique.

She looks like a jazz fan.

That cushion?

Your tablet?

- Your shoes?
- Your bathrobe?

- Your eReader?
- Your Pommard?

- Your painting?
- Don't you like it?

I didn't say that.

True, you didn't.

I never know if you like my stuff.

You never upset me,
but your indifference is hurtful.

We didn't show you your rooms.

Go on up, please.

Show them, honey?

Give me time to find presents.

The suitcases, please.

No, that one's our room.

The biggest, I suppose?

As we live here,
we picked the biggest one.

Excuse me...

Now then, there's this one...

After you.

Don't you like it?

There's nothing bigger?

Otherwise, there's this one.

After you.

Nothing bigger upstairs?

That's my studio. And it's not heated.

I think these rooms are fine.

You're not choosy, we know that.

I'm gonna whack her.

I can tell I'm gonna whack her.

Jeannette!

What are you doing?

Aren't we allowed a little happiness
at Christmas?

We're not doing any harm.
Come on.

Very elegant.

What are you doing?

A drill? A deckchair?

With its parasol.

A racket?

Nice presents, right?

I know! The hibiscus candle for Monique.
She loves it.

And for Jeanne?
Racket or drill?

I know! The perfume from your mother
last Christmas.

Where is it?

Are you sure? It's a bit...

A bit what?
The candle's a great idea, honey.

We're good!

- What is it?
- Look at us.

Panicking over presents for two biddies
we'll never see again!

We must be crazy!

Want to know what we are?
We're good people.

What do you think?

That's my dress.

Suits her, doesn't it?

Yes, very nice.

Is that my shawl?
And my pearls?

You searched my things?

Presents now?

Searched is a bit much.

Opening my closet
and taking my things is what?

Presents?

Forgive us, Béatrice, it was a bad idea.
I'll take it off.

No, it's a good idea.

Stay here, Monique.

Does it bother you that much?

Monique has rarely been able
to dress like a lady.

Believe me,

while some dress in Chanel,

others are in gumboots,

pulling up weeds in the cemetery.

- Stop it.
- That said, too bad.

We'll go and change if you want.

No, it's OK, stay like that.

Are you sure, Béatrice?

Can I keep your pearls too?

As long as they stay here.

You think I'm a thief?

Presents now?

Not at all.

I'm joking.

I like to joke too.

That's good news!

We're in for a fun evening.

This is for you, Monique.

This is for Jeanne.

And this is for you, honey.

I hope you haven't overdone it.
We said tiny presents this year.

What's wrong, Monique?

It's nothing. It's Christmas.

I always get emotional.

Yes, it's starting
to feel like Christmas now.

Open yours, Monique.

You too, Jeanne.

Not all at once.

Taking turns is more fun.

As you want. You first.

The youngest first, Vincent.

Béatrice is the youngest.

Really?

- I'd never have guessed.
- Me neither.

You look older than you are.

That's normal,

giving birth to three children

leaves its mark.

Open it, honey.

You're mad!

Now it's Christmas.

- Do you like it?
- It's beautiful.

But we said something tiny.

So what's this?

Something tiny, you'll see.

What will I look like now?

Honey, it isn't a contest.

Great!

I love it. Thank you, honey.

He's disappointed.

He's only pretending to be pleased.

Concert by the Sea by Erroll Garner.
A must-have.

You have it,
but it's a new edition.

The sales assistant told me

it's a remastered recording.

It was just released.

Great. Really great.

He offers her a fancy bag
and gets a CD.

He's disappointed,
but trying not to show it.

That's love.

Stop it, I'm not disappointed.
He's my favourite pianist.

And it's not one CD,
it's a three-CD set.

We said tiny gifts this year.

I love this tiny gift.

He admits it's tiny.

Tiny tree, tiny gift.

A CD of applause.

That's it!

He's finally found his piano.

How much is a bag like that?
5,000 at least?

That's a lot of CDs.

Are you opening yours?

Thank you.

Smell it. It's hibiscus.

It's the same candle as...

Do you like it?

Yes, very much.

It was Béatrice's idea.

Of course, it's tiny.

Your turn, Jeanne.

I have a big parcel.

This must be from you.

Present-wise, I trust you
more than your wife.

Open it and stop talking nonsense.

It's rum!

Monique, stop!

Monique, it's perfume!

I didn't realize it was perfume.

The bottle's misleading.

The smell is too.

Could it have gone off?

It's like prison toilets.

They conceal bad smells
with stuff like that

Were you in prison?

Yes.

Were you there long?

30 years.

She was a prison guard.

You got us there.

A prison guard.

That's why you're a bit...

A bit?

A bit...

A bit...

Brusque isn't the word, but...

Unbearable?

Aggressive?

Impolite?

No.

I meant a bit...

Authoritarian?

I like order, that's true.

It's not popular, but I do.

Your generation of wimps
isn't used to it.

- Wimps?
- Yes, wimps.

You had it all. Everything.
Well, everything...

Except war, poverty, unemployment...

A generation on welfare.

You're wrong.

I started work at 19,

60 hours a week.

For 30 years,
I ran a firm making shoelaces.

OK, boomer!

Hear that, Monique?

Your parents never knew
what they'd eat,

like your children.

But you're already retired.

Slacker!

I'm not retired.

I've stepped down,
but they refer to me for decisions.

You're in a closet, like.

Careful, the next step

is the care home.

You can have my room.
South-facing.

Careful, it's very hot.

Don't touch.

Odd idea, serving fish at Christmas.

Not very festive.

Is this more festive?

Is it more festive?

Vincent, can you cut?

Vincent?

Can you cut it?

Are you OK, honey?

Sweetheart, how are you?

Merry Christmas!

Merry Christmas.
What time is it there?

3 p. m. or so.
How are you all?

We're having a blast.

Your dad hired strippers.

Are you drunk or what?

Look.

OK, girls?

Say hello to Max.

Will you speak to your son?

Will you speak to Max?

I'll get more wine.

Leave him. Forget it.

- So what's new?
- Nothing much.

Monique!

Jeanne!

What's wrong?

Stop that!

Stop!

What's going on?
Stop, Béatrice!

You're going to kill her!
Jeanne!

Sorry. Are you OK?

Mum? Lots of love.

Merry Christmas.

Coming for dessert?

I'll tidy up a bit first.

Let's keep our spirits up.

Homemade quince tart.
Béa's speciality.

No bones in it, I promise, Jeanne.

Feeling better?

You really got me.

You're pretty powerful.

Jeanne was a top athlete.

A shot-putter.

A shot-putter?

She was on the Canadian team
at the Olympics

in 1956.

In Melbourne.

Cut it out, will you?

She was injured
the day before competing

and so she missed the final.

A broken wrist.

And she kept her shot.

It's in her room at the Limes.

Shut up.

It's true.

She's talking rubbish.

Yes, her mind is going.

I know I'm naive
but, frankly, the Olympics?

I don't look like an athlete?

I just can't imagine you
at the Olympics.

Don't get offended.

It's just that...

A shot-putter too.

What's more ridiculous
about that sport?

The cry...

or the tight outfits.
What's up?

I'll show you
who Jeanne Barbisseau was in 1956.

- Give me your bauble.
- What?

Give me your bauble, I said!

Fire!

Fire! Fire!

What's going on?

Another of her nightmares.

What are you doing?

I'm warming up.

Monique, it's alright.

Shit, she scared me!

The house was on fire.
You all died.

Your children burned to a crisp.
It was horrible!

That's enough talk of death!

Enough talk of the dead!

At it again, Jeannette dear?

Jeanne, be reasonable.

What's she up to?

She wants to break her record.

What?

My personal record. 15. 34 metres.

I need a tape measure.

I need a tape measure!

Calm down.

I'm asking you to stop.

Put your shot, I measure it
and then we have dessert.

OK, honey?

What?

Jeanne puts her shot,
I measure it,

then we have dessert.

Quite frankly,

that's a perfect Christmas plan.

Good night.

- What're you doing?
- Going to bed.

Wait, you can't.

I can, it's what I'm doing.

- You can't leave me.
- I can.

Not with those two bats.

Too late now.

Honey...

You showed perfect Christian charity
in hosting those ladies.

They're having a ball.

But now,

you handle it.

It's your Christmas, honey.
Have a merry one.

It's Christmas tonight

The stars shine bright

It's Christmas tonight
It's Christmas

Monique!

Don't catch a chill.

That's perfect!

Come quick, Santa's here!

What're they doing?

They'll die out there!

You have to die sooner or later.

Here! Go on.

You'll catch a chill.

Jeannette's revenge!

It's too risky
redoing the Athens games!

Melbourne!

Watch out, it's going high,
far and fast!

No, for pity's sake, stop now.

That's enough.

What's going on?

It's OK, excuse us.

It's not OK.
I'm calling the police.

The President too if you want,

dickhead!

Strike!

Come back inside.

- Come back inside.
- It's Santa!

Inside!

Don't step on the baubles!
How can we measure?

- How long was the last one?
- Four metres.

Got a tape?

I reckon three metres. OK?

Don't you realize?

Would a real judge guesstimate?

Ridiculous!

Jeanne, I'm not a judge.

You shattered a bauble in my garden
at 1 am!

It's different!

Come inside. That'll do, Monique.

Come on, you'll catch your death.

- Fire!
- Yes, fire.

Fire!

Shit!

Shit!

Monique, come here!

Over there!

Are you OK, Monique?

I'll sit with her a while.

Alright.

I'll sweep up...

And tidy...

You're a real king.

The two biddies were a great idea.

Let's clean up.

I look like a jerk.

The king of idiots is Vincent Barrand.

What can I say?

That's how it is.

You wanted snow.

It could've been a great Christmas Eve.

A nice sea bass
with a Meursault 2009.

Maybe, after dinner,

drunk and horny,

we'd have praised Jesus,
if you see what I mean.

Yes, I see.

You're beautiful tonight.

Listen, Vincent,
I'm delighted your libido has woken,

but it's not the best time.

- You're no fun.
- Sorry?

- No, but...
- But what?

Go on, I'm listening.

Are you fun tonight?

When were you the most fun?
I can't remember.

During presents?

The fire?

When you wouldn't speak to your son?

Let's not fight at Christmas.

You piss me off with Christmas!

I'm fed up with Christmas!

Sick of Christmas!

You'll wake everyone now?

Why not?

Anyone can go wild tonight,
except me.

I just wait on you and smile?

Calm down, this is embarrassing.

Embarrassing?

Embarrassing, is it?

Monique ages me by ten years,
but you don't mind.

Jeanne calls me a cheapskate,
but you don't mind.

They search my things,

trash the house,
but you don't mind.

You mind when it suits you.

You're right.

I screwed up, it's all my fault,
I plead guilty.

You want to confess?

Call the priest.

A ray of sunshine for two ladies
brought a shitstorm.

Niceness got us two bitches.

Vincent, you're being coarse.

Coarse?

Know what coarse is? I'll tell you.

Coarse is not finishing
your delicious fish.

Coarse is imposing
a Christmas you didn't want.

Coarse is not saying
what I think of your paintings.

That's really coarse.

So listen carefully, honey.

That one there...

I don't like it. It's bad.

I hate the style,
colours and lines.

That's unworthy of your talent.

It's easy, predictable,

safe and boring to look at.

The new one... Now then...

Nothing special.

However,

the two small ones,

and the big one,

they have character, craziness...
They're beautiful.

Like you.

How's Monique?

She's sleeping.

You look frozen. I'll run you a bath.

I'm sorry.

Sorry?

Sorry for spoiling your Christmas.

Regret coming?

What's so funny?

Why did you invite two old ladies
this evening?

Initially, I invited one.

Afraid of being alone with your wife
on Christmas Eve?

I know what you're afraid of.

Of growing old.

It's normal fearing that
at your age.

Old people do.

You don't fear getting old?

Old people fear it, I said.

I'm not old.

I'm very old. It's different.

At my age, you don't fear dying,
so growing old...

Béatrice is afraid of that.

But I'm not.

Are you sure?

She gets her grandkids to call her Béa
instead of Grannie.

Grandpa suits me.

Of course, you're a man.

And?

Grandpas always come across as heroes.

What do we get? Granny Smith.

It's always the same in stories.

The man saves the nation,
while the woman cooks.

Not every grandpa fought on D-Day.

Your wife doesn't fear getting old.

She fears falling short
of what's expected of a woman:

being attractive.

I find her attractive.

Do you tell her?

Which one's the rascal?

The one in the middle.

What on earth did he do
for you to stop speaking to him?

He wouldn't take over the factory?

He votes for the left?

He married a man?

You think I'm an old reactionary,
but I'm very open-minded.

I vote for the centre.

He missed his grandmother's funeral.

He's travelling,
so family isn't his priority.

He can still feel sorrow,
and think of his grandma or his family.

Beware of discord.

It can last and you regret it one day.

He just needs to apologize.

But it's your job to end any discord.

I don't have kids,
but that's a parent's job, right?

You shouldn't have been a prison guard,
but a shrink.

I heard plenty of stories, you know.

And not just funny ones.

Do you know how I met Monique?

She came to see her son in prison.

He'd done...

something pretty bad.

She came to see him just once

and told him she'd never come back.

She'd fallen out with him.

After I found her son hanged in his cell
a few days later,

they asked me to call Monique
to break the news.

After that, we became friends.

You don't look older, I do.

It's not the Christmas you imagined.

Not really, but I'm not disappointed.

I'm not disappointed either.

Want to dance?

You've never been so close
to the beach

Yes?

Hello, a disturbance
was reported here.

The police...

- Ma'am?
- Yes, I'll open the gate.

Good evening.

Come in, please.

We're not allowed to.

Unless we have your permission.
Do we?

It's freezing.

If we record an offence,
the fine will be 68 euros

if you pay in 45 days.

After that, it's 180.

It's Christmas.
Aren't we allowed to celebrate?

Things got a bit agitated,

but never out of hand.

So you admit
things got a bit agitated.

That's bad.

Agitation is dumb.

If you add in drink...

We barely drank.

Relax, we're not driving.
We're allowed to drink.

Yes, I know.

I'm just saying
I had barely one glass.

May I?

Hello, did you call us?

Yes.

To preserve the local peace,
I'm not ashamed of it.

Ashamed? You were right.

We must respect our neighbours.

That's my view exactly, madam officer.

Are you here next week?

Yes.

Good. We'll stop by.

Why?

To check the permit for your veranda.

It's lovely,
but a bit close to your neighbours.

I'd like to check it's in order
in relation to the Barrands.

You understand,

as a stickler for the law
and neighbourly respect.

I won't bother you further.

Merry Christmas.

Merry Christmas.

Merry Christmas.

- Thank you.
- Good night.

Can't you sleep, Monique?

What's wrong?

Has something bad happened?

- No. Why?
- The police.

The neighbour called them.

Jeannette's not in her room.

She's having a bath.

My God...

What?

I didn't hear a sound in the bathroom.

So?

I hope she hasn't slipped
and knocked herself out.

Shit...

Sorry.

The tea smells nice.
What is it?

Bergamot?

Loose leaf, I presume.

At the Limes,
lime-blossom tea comes in bags.

Aren't you eating?

Get over it.
I could be your mother.

The evening's turned out good.

Like your tart.

A change from yule log.

I hate yule log anyway.

So why do you eat it every year?

It's a tradition.

Screw tradition.

Another slice?

No, thank you.

It's not the tart of the year.

But...

you have other talents
apart from baking.

Painting.

That one over there...

That one's my favourite.

It's magnificent,

luminous,

full of life...

Like this Christmas.

Shall we get some sleep?

No, we haven't finished.

For pity's sake, not a game.

Tonight, for once,

no one's asked us to do a jigsaw
or play snakes and ladders.

It's true.

Why do people think the elderly

want the same as children?

No old people play
with cars or dolls.

But some old ladies
like to dress as princesses.

Because they are princesses.

Ready?

Here we go.

Well then...

Jeanne...

Monique.

If you cry, I'll cry.

Why cry?

Goodbyes are always a bit sad.

Why goodbye?
Careful, we know where to find you.

No, we won't meet again.

I don't think so. Never mind.

We're too old to fool ourselves.

It's better this way.

I'll retain

a very special memory of this Christmas.

It will grow and take up a lot of space.

Thank you, Vincent.

Thank you, Béatrice.

Let's not get all weepy.

Goodbye.

Shall we go?

It's too soon to move here, right?

When I was little,
I was in a boarding school

with just one weekend a term
at home.

It was a fabulous weekend.

But when I went back to the school,
it was tough.

I wouldn't be home again
for three months.

Such an intense moment of happiness

made the return even more painful.

So I decided
to stop enjoying those weekends,

to make them sad and ordinary,

so the return to reality
would be less harsh.

Never happy,
so I'd never be unhappy.

I made that my life's motto.

I was wrong.

So I wanted to tell you...

No.

No?

You asked if I regretted

coming to your place for Christmas.

The answer is no.

It was ages since I'd dared
to have a happy moment.

What's wrong?

Come on, let's go.

- Where?
- Melbourne.

Your wrist isn't broken today.

Why not break your record now?

I don't mean throwing crib figures
at a dwarf tree.

I mean a real sporting exploit.

On a real field with a real audience
in a real stadium.

Come on.

Come on, everyone!

All of you, up you get.
If you can.

Let's go, sir. It's happening outside.
Come on!

Come on out.

Out you come,
you'll see history in the making.

Come with me.

Come on, ma'am.

It's happening outside.

Come on.

What's going on?
They're all going outside.

Sorry?

What's going on?

Go back in.

What's going on?

Go on, Jeanne!

Go on, Jeannette!

Go, Jeannette!

Go, Jeanne!

Go on, Jeannette!

Go, Jeanne!

Jeannette!

Bravo!

Magnificent!

Brilliant!

World champion!

Hello, Max?

Hi, it's Dad.

How's it going?

Yes, I'm fine.

I'm with your mum.

We wanted to say...

We wish you a Merry Christmas.

What time is it there?

Is it all going well?

Subtitles by Ian Burley

Subtitling:
Hiventy by TransPerfect