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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:06,033 --> 00:00:08,167 ( theme music playing ) 2 00:00:53,400 --> 00:00:54,968 POSTMAN! 3 00:00:59,300 --> 00:01:01,467 I HOPE THAT'S A FIRST-CLASS STAMP. 4 00:01:04,601 --> 00:01:06,434 I OBJECT TO HAVING SECOND-CLASS STAMPS 5 00:01:06,434 --> 00:01:10,133 THRUST THROUGH MY LETTERBOX. 6 00:01:10,133 --> 00:01:12,467 I SHOULD HAVE THOUGHT POSTMEN WOULD BE TRAINED 7 00:01:12,467 --> 00:01:14,467 TO RECOGNIZE FIRST-CLASS STAMP HOUSES. 8 00:01:16,267 --> 00:01:20,000 IT'S NOT THE POST OFFICE PUTS THE STAMPS ON. IT'S THE SENDERS. 9 00:01:20,000 --> 00:01:24,067 OH, YES, OF COURSE. BLAME THE PUBLIC. 10 00:01:24,067 --> 00:01:27,601 WOULD YOU PLEASE INFORM YOUR SUPERVISOR THAT IN FUTURE 11 00:01:27,601 --> 00:01:29,767 I WANT MY STAMPS ADJUSTED UPWARDS. 12 00:01:35,534 --> 00:01:37,234 HOW DO I LOOK? 13 00:01:40,701 --> 00:01:43,167 I WANT YOUR OPINION-- 14 00:01:43,167 --> 00:01:46,300 IS THIS APPROPRIATE FOR BUSINESSWEAR? 15 00:01:49,133 --> 00:01:53,701 YOU TWO DON'T JUST SLEEP, YOU HIBERNATE. 16 00:01:53,701 --> 00:01:55,167 OH, AH-- 17 00:01:55,167 --> 00:01:58,467 IS THAT ONSLOW'S BEER I SEE SPILLING OUT ONTO THE FLOOR? 18 00:01:58,467 --> 00:02:00,834 WHERE? WHERE? 19 00:02:03,200 --> 00:02:05,567 ( sarcastically ) OH, NICE. 20 00:02:05,567 --> 00:02:07,434 UP HALF THE NIGHT WITH YOUR HYACINTH 21 00:02:07,434 --> 00:02:09,167 AND NOW THERE'S SOME OTHER COMEDIAN. 22 00:02:09,167 --> 00:02:11,567 I WISH YOU'D BUG OFF. 23 00:02:11,567 --> 00:02:14,601 I'M STILL IN HYACINTH AFTERSHOCK. 24 00:02:14,601 --> 00:02:18,033 OH, DON'T GO BACK TO SLEEP. TELL ME HOW I LOOK. 25 00:02:18,033 --> 00:02:21,300 WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I CAN SEE? 26 00:02:21,300 --> 00:02:24,701 - DAISY, DAISY! - ( Daisy yelps ) 27 00:02:24,701 --> 00:02:28,734 WELL, IF IT'S OUR HYACINTH COME BACK, I'M NOT IN. 28 00:02:28,734 --> 00:02:30,567 SHE'S NOT COME BACK. 29 00:02:30,567 --> 00:02:33,200 I'LL SAY THIS MUCH FOR YOUR HYACINTH-- 30 00:02:33,200 --> 00:02:35,901 SHE LEAVES A LOT OF HAPPINESS BEHIND HER. 31 00:02:35,901 --> 00:02:38,501 IT'S SUCH A RELIEF WHEN SHE'S GONE. 32 00:02:38,501 --> 00:02:40,868 HOW DO I LOOK? 33 00:02:40,868 --> 00:02:42,267 FOR DOING WHAT? 34 00:02:42,267 --> 00:02:46,300 FOR SELLING COSTUME JEWELRY DOOR TO DOOR. 35 00:02:46,300 --> 00:02:50,300 AM I DRESSED PROPERLY FOR BUSINESS? 36 00:02:50,300 --> 00:02:52,567 YOU COULD GET ARRESTED FOR THAT KIND OF BUSINESS. 37 00:02:52,567 --> 00:02:54,467 OOH! 38 00:02:58,334 --> 00:03:01,734 RICHARD! 39 00:03:01,734 --> 00:03:05,234 ONE OF THESE DAYS YOU'LL FIND ME LYING IN A POOL OF BLOOD. 40 00:03:05,234 --> 00:03:07,067 LISTEN TO THIS-- 41 00:03:07,067 --> 00:03:11,400 "WANTED: MANAGING DIRECTOR, FROZEN FOODS. 42 00:03:11,400 --> 00:03:14,267 ONLY PERSONS OF PROVEN ABILITY 43 00:03:14,267 --> 00:03:17,067 SHOULD APPLY FOR THIS SENIOR POSITION." 44 00:03:17,067 --> 00:03:18,901 WHY ARE YOU TELLING ME THIS? 45 00:03:18,901 --> 00:03:21,133 BECAUSE IT'S YOU, RICHARD. 46 00:03:21,133 --> 00:03:23,501 IT'S ABSOLUTELY YOU. 47 00:03:23,501 --> 00:03:25,701 FROZEN FOODS? 48 00:03:25,701 --> 00:03:29,701 NOT THAT BIT, DEAR. THE "PERSON OF PROVEN ABILITY." 49 00:03:29,701 --> 00:03:33,400 AND THE FIRM IS "FROSTICLES." 50 00:03:33,400 --> 00:03:36,167 THEIR FACTORY'S ONLY A FEW MILES DOWN THE ROAD, 51 00:03:36,167 --> 00:03:38,767 YOU COULD BE HOME FOR LUNCH EVERY DAY. 52 00:03:38,767 --> 00:03:40,367 WAIT A MINUTE, HYACINTH. 53 00:03:40,367 --> 00:03:43,467 YOU COULD HAVE THE FIRM'S CAR, PROBABLY A CHAUFFEUR-- 54 00:03:43,467 --> 00:03:46,400 HANG ON, ARE YOU SUGGESTING THAT I SHOULD APPLY? 55 00:03:46,400 --> 00:03:48,634 NOT THROUGH THE NORMAL CHANNELS, DEAR. 56 00:03:48,634 --> 00:03:51,100 I MEAN, WHAT'S THE POINT OF KNOWING PEOPLE 57 00:03:51,100 --> 00:03:53,901 IF ONE HAS TO APPLY THROUGH THE NORMAL CHANNELS? 58 00:03:53,901 --> 00:03:58,100 - DO WE KNOW PEOPLE? - OH, NOT JUST PEOPLE! 59 00:03:58,100 --> 00:04:01,100 WE KNOW "FROSTICLES" HIMSELF. 60 00:04:01,100 --> 00:04:02,934 OR AT LEAST "MRS. FROSTICLES." 61 00:04:03,968 --> 00:04:06,434 THE MILLBURNS! 62 00:04:06,434 --> 00:04:09,801 THAT THRUSTING CREATURE ON THE LADIES' LUNCHEON COMMITTEE. 63 00:04:09,801 --> 00:04:12,367 SHE WAS A HACKETT FROM WILTON STREET 64 00:04:12,367 --> 00:04:16,834 BEFORE SHE LAID HERSELF SHAMELESSLY IN THE PATH OF FROSTICLES. 65 00:04:16,834 --> 00:04:20,000 WE MUST MAKE SURE THAT HE KNOWS YOU'RE AVAILABLE. 66 00:04:23,534 --> 00:04:26,100 NOW, SIT THERE, 67 00:04:26,100 --> 00:04:27,767 AND PRACTICE BEING FIRM. 68 00:04:27,767 --> 00:04:30,868 ALL YOU HAVE TO DO IS SAY "NO." 69 00:04:30,868 --> 00:04:34,534 HAVE YOU EVER TRIED SAYING NO TO HYACINTH? 70 00:04:34,534 --> 00:04:39,100 LIZ, SHE'S JUST A HUMAN BEING. 71 00:04:40,400 --> 00:04:42,801 JUST. 72 00:04:42,801 --> 00:04:45,300 LOOK, YOU'RE A FREE SPIRIT. 73 00:04:45,300 --> 00:04:48,767 IF YOU DON'T WANT TO GO ROUND THERE FOR COFFEE WHEN SHE ASKS YOU, SAY NO. 74 00:04:48,767 --> 00:04:52,367 IT DOESN'T MAKE ANY DIFFERENCE, SHE NEVER LISTENS ANYWAY. 75 00:04:52,367 --> 00:04:55,100 ALL RIGHT, WE'LL REHEARSE IT. 76 00:04:55,100 --> 00:04:58,100 YOU SIT THERE PRACTICING STEELY DETERMINATION, 77 00:04:58,100 --> 00:05:01,234 AND I SHALL PRETEND TO BE HYACINTH. 78 00:05:04,300 --> 00:05:07,868 GREATER LOVE HATH NO MAN FOR HIS SISTER 79 00:05:07,868 --> 00:05:10,534 THAN TO BE HYACINTH. 80 00:05:10,534 --> 00:05:13,467 RIGHT, HERE WE GO. 81 00:05:14,734 --> 00:05:16,634 PHONE RINGING... 82 00:05:16,634 --> 00:05:19,167 WELL, ANSWER IT. 83 00:05:22,100 --> 00:05:23,734 HELLO? 84 00:05:23,734 --> 00:05:27,801 ( loudly ) COFFEE AT 11:00, ELIZABETH? 85 00:05:27,801 --> 00:05:30,334 THANK YOU, HYACINTH. 86 00:05:31,334 --> 00:05:33,634 OH, NO. 87 00:05:33,634 --> 00:05:36,567 I'M SORRY, BUT YOU WERE SO LIFELIKE. 88 00:05:41,834 --> 00:05:45,534 NOW THE FIRST THING TO DO IS TO GET YOU TO MEET MR. MILLBURN-- 89 00:05:45,534 --> 00:05:47,167 "FROSTICLES" HIMSELF. 90 00:05:48,901 --> 00:05:51,934 NO UNDERLINGS, GO STRAIGHT TO THE TOP. 91 00:05:51,934 --> 00:05:54,300 I DON'T KNOW THE MAN. 92 00:05:54,300 --> 00:05:57,934 OF COURSE, IT'LL HAVE TO LOOK LIKE A CHANCE MEETING. 93 00:05:57,934 --> 00:06:00,634 YOU'RE NOT GOING TO START PLOTTING ME INTO SOMETHING. 94 00:06:00,634 --> 00:06:03,100 I STILL BLUSH WHEN I REMEMBER HOW YOU TRIED 95 00:06:03,100 --> 00:06:05,400 TO MAKE ME PRESIDENT OF THE ARCHERY CLUB. 96 00:06:05,400 --> 00:06:09,567 WE WERE DOING SPLENDIDLY UNTIL YOU SHOT MRS. LAZENBY. 97 00:06:10,968 --> 00:06:13,601 I'VE NEVER HEARD SUCH A FUSS. 98 00:06:13,601 --> 00:06:16,400 IT WAS ONLY A GLANCING WOUND. 99 00:06:16,400 --> 00:06:18,968 WE'LL GET IT WRONG. WE ALWAYS GET IT WRONG. 100 00:06:18,968 --> 00:06:20,801 RICHARD! 101 00:06:20,801 --> 00:06:23,567 I'M DOING THIS FOR YOU, DEAR. 102 00:06:23,567 --> 00:06:25,367 IT IS MY DUTY TO GIVE YOU 103 00:06:25,367 --> 00:06:27,701 A NEW VISION FOR THE FUTURE. 104 00:06:27,701 --> 00:06:29,767 IN FROZEN FOODS? 105 00:06:29,767 --> 00:06:32,400 IN A SENIOR EXECUTIVE POSITION. 106 00:06:32,400 --> 00:06:35,234 - I'LL GET FROSTBITE. - OH, RICHARD. 107 00:06:35,234 --> 00:06:37,000 BITS OF ME WILL START FALLING OFF. 108 00:06:38,300 --> 00:06:40,567 I CAN'T APPLY FOR A POSITION LIKE THAT. 109 00:06:40,567 --> 00:06:42,634 OF COURSE YOU CAN'T. 110 00:06:42,634 --> 00:06:46,400 YOU DON'T THINK THAT THESE SENIOR EXECUTIVE POSITIONS 111 00:06:46,400 --> 00:06:47,968 ARE FILLED BY APPLICATION? 112 00:06:47,968 --> 00:06:51,968 IT'S ALWAYS DONE BY PEOPLE KNOWING PEOPLE. 113 00:06:51,968 --> 00:06:54,634 PEOPLE UPON WHOM ONE HAS MADE AN IMPRESSION 114 00:06:54,634 --> 00:06:56,767 ON SOCIAL OCCASIONS. 115 00:06:56,767 --> 00:07:01,467 BUT WHERE AM I GOING TO MAKE AN IMPRESSION ON OLD FROSTICLES? 116 00:07:01,467 --> 00:07:04,434 - ON THE GOLF COURSE. - WHA--! 117 00:07:04,434 --> 00:07:06,667 A GOOD IDEA-- 118 00:07:06,667 --> 00:07:08,701 LEAVE IT TO ME, DEAR. 119 00:07:08,701 --> 00:07:11,267 HE'LL PROBABLY BE ON THE COURSE THIS EVENING. 120 00:07:11,267 --> 00:07:14,067 RELAXING AFTER A DAY'S EXECUTING. 121 00:07:14,067 --> 00:07:18,334 THEN YOU COME ALONG LOOKING RUTHLESSLY EFFICIENT. 122 00:07:18,334 --> 00:07:21,734 YOU MEAN THIS TIME I'M GOING TO CLOBBER MRS. FROSTICLES? 123 00:07:24,300 --> 00:07:26,801 THAT WAS A LOT BETTER. 124 00:07:28,133 --> 00:07:29,701 LET'S HAVE ANOTHER GO. 125 00:07:29,701 --> 00:07:33,901 AND REMEMBER, LIZ, YOU'RE A WOMAN NOT TO BE TRIFLED WITH. 126 00:07:35,067 --> 00:07:37,200 RIGHT, HERE WE GO AGAIN. 127 00:07:37,200 --> 00:07:39,267 PHONE'S RINGING. 128 00:07:40,968 --> 00:07:44,734 - HELLO? - IT'S ONLY ME, ELIZABETH. 129 00:07:47,100 --> 00:07:49,033 COFFEE AT 11:00? 130 00:07:49,033 --> 00:07:52,567 NO THANK YOU, HYACINTH, SOME OTHER TIME. 131 00:07:53,567 --> 00:07:55,801 I DID IT! 132 00:07:59,267 --> 00:08:01,033 YOU SEE? WELL DONE! 133 00:08:01,033 --> 00:08:04,133 IT'S JUST A QUESTION OF GETTING STARTED, ISN'T IT? 134 00:08:04,133 --> 00:08:06,400 ONCE YOU'VE STARTED IT'S QUITE EASY. 135 00:08:06,400 --> 00:08:08,400 AND YOU ARE VERY GOOD. 136 00:08:08,400 --> 00:08:11,033 YOU REALLY SOUNDED LIKE HYACINTH. 137 00:08:13,033 --> 00:08:16,234 I MUST ASK YOU TO NEVER REPEAT THAT IN FRONT OF A LIVING SOUL. 138 00:08:16,234 --> 00:08:18,801 - GO ON, ANSWER IT. 139 00:08:21,667 --> 00:08:25,400 HELLO? COFFEE AT 11:00? 140 00:08:25,400 --> 00:08:27,534 THANK YOU, HYACINTH. 141 00:08:33,567 --> 00:08:37,267 NOW LET ME SEE YOU, RICHARD. 142 00:08:37,267 --> 00:08:40,767 AND REMEMBER-- FIRST IMPRESSIONS. 143 00:08:40,767 --> 00:08:42,767 ( tinkling ) 144 00:08:43,834 --> 00:08:47,067 THE TROUBLE IS, I DON'T DO IMPRESSIONS. 145 00:08:48,534 --> 00:08:50,300 NO, NO, NO, RICHARD. 146 00:08:50,300 --> 00:08:52,767 I WANT TO SEE A CAPTAIN OF INDUSTRY. 147 00:08:52,767 --> 00:08:55,167 YOU MUSTN'T LET FROSTICLES SEE YOU 148 00:08:55,167 --> 00:08:56,634 LOOKING INDECISIVE LIKE THAT. 149 00:08:56,634 --> 00:09:00,133 BUT I FEEL INDECISIVE. I'M HAPPY WITH INDECISIVE. 150 00:09:00,133 --> 00:09:04,267 RICHARD, WHEN FROSTICLES FIRST CLAPS EYES ON YOU, 151 00:09:04,267 --> 00:09:06,934 YOU MUST BE LOOKING FORCEFUL AND EXECUTIVE. 152 00:09:06,934 --> 00:09:10,033 AND EXECUTIVE, HYACINTH. 153 00:09:10,033 --> 00:09:12,667 GOOD. 154 00:09:12,667 --> 00:09:15,534 I CAN FEEL IT NOW, COMING UP THROUGH MY KNEES. 155 00:09:16,801 --> 00:09:20,934 OH, HERE IT COMES... UP THROUGH MY GROIN. 156 00:09:24,267 --> 00:09:27,968 RICHARD, WHAT KIND OF LANGUAGE IS THAT FOR A SENIOR FROSTICLE? 157 00:09:27,968 --> 00:09:30,968 - NEXT! - ( tinkling ) 158 00:09:32,567 --> 00:09:34,801 RIGHT. YOU FAILED ON THE TELEPHONE, 159 00:09:34,801 --> 00:09:36,701 LET'S TRY IT FACE-TO-FACE. 160 00:09:36,701 --> 00:09:38,501 WITH HYACINTH? 161 00:09:38,501 --> 00:09:42,567 YES, OF COURSE WITH HYACINTH. 162 00:09:42,567 --> 00:09:44,634 JUST TELL HER TO HER FACE THAT YOU HAVEN'T GOT THE TIME 163 00:09:44,634 --> 00:09:46,501 TO ACCEPT HER INVITATION TO COFFEE. 164 00:09:46,501 --> 00:09:48,667 COULDN'T I DO IT ON THE TELEPHONE? 165 00:09:48,667 --> 00:09:51,200 YOU FAILED TELEPHONE. 166 00:09:53,200 --> 00:09:56,300 I SHALL FAIL FACE TO FACE. 167 00:10:01,901 --> 00:10:06,968 ( chanting ) I'M FORCEFUL AND EXECUTIVE, I'M FORCEFUL AND EXECUTIVE, 168 00:10:06,968 --> 00:10:09,767 I'M FORCEFUL AND EXECUTIVE... 169 00:10:14,767 --> 00:10:17,334 ( doorbell rings ) 170 00:10:19,634 --> 00:10:22,067 OH, IT'S YOU, ELIZABETH! 171 00:10:22,067 --> 00:10:24,434 A LITTLE EARLY, DEAR. BUT DO COME IN. 172 00:10:24,434 --> 00:10:27,467 ( stammers ) OH, I, I-- ACTUALLY, HYACINTH, 173 00:10:27,467 --> 00:10:29,267 I CAME TO TELL YOU-- 174 00:10:29,267 --> 00:10:32,234 AND BRING EMMET IN TOO. 175 00:10:32,234 --> 00:10:34,167 WELL, NO ACTUALLY, I CAN'T. 176 00:10:34,167 --> 00:10:36,501 I'VE GOT SO MANY IMPORTANT THINGS TO DO-- 177 00:10:39,767 --> 00:10:42,067 DO SIT DOWN, MY DEARS. ANYWHERE. 178 00:10:44,133 --> 00:10:45,601 EXCEPT THERE! 179 00:10:47,234 --> 00:10:49,434 LEAVE THAT ONE FOR ME. 180 00:10:49,434 --> 00:10:51,968 ( giggles ) 181 00:10:53,100 --> 00:10:55,467 OOP! MILK! 182 00:10:57,868 --> 00:10:59,801 IS RICHARD ALL RIGHT? 183 00:10:59,801 --> 00:11:01,234 HMM? WHY DEAR? 184 00:11:01,234 --> 00:11:03,734 WELL, HE PASSED US ON THE DOORSTEP 185 00:11:03,734 --> 00:11:06,400 AND I THOUGHT HE LOOKED A BIT PREOCCUPIED. 186 00:11:06,400 --> 00:11:09,100 OH, HE'S GOT A LOT ON HIS MIND. 187 00:11:09,100 --> 00:11:11,300 HE'S TOYING WITH VARIOUS OFFERS 188 00:11:11,300 --> 00:11:14,367 FOR A SENIOR EXECUTIVE POSITION IN INDUSTRY. 189 00:11:14,367 --> 00:11:16,334 NOW, MAKE YOURSELVES COMFY. 190 00:11:16,334 --> 00:11:18,701 AND IF YOU'LL EXCUSE ME, I'LL JUST GO AND WIPE 191 00:11:18,701 --> 00:11:20,667 EMMET'S FOOTMARK OFF MY WOODBLOCK. 192 00:11:22,901 --> 00:11:25,133 PERHAPS I OUGHT TO TAKE YOUR SHOES, EMMET. 193 00:11:25,133 --> 00:11:27,334 COME ALONG. 194 00:11:29,467 --> 00:11:32,868 WE DON'T WANT A REPETITION ON YOUR WAY OUT, DO WE? 195 00:11:32,868 --> 00:11:34,934 OF COURSE, RICHARD AND I NEVER HAVE THIS PROBLEM 196 00:11:34,934 --> 00:11:37,267 BECAUSE WE ALWAYS WEAR LEATHER. 197 00:11:41,400 --> 00:11:44,868 DON'T SAY A WORD. 198 00:11:46,434 --> 00:11:48,467 SHE'LL SING AT ME. 199 00:11:48,467 --> 00:11:50,367 NOW SHE HAS ME TRAPPED AND BAREFOOT, 200 00:11:50,367 --> 00:11:52,634 HEAVEN KNOWS WHAT SHE'LL DO. 201 00:11:53,734 --> 00:11:56,801 JUST DON'T LET ME SPILL THE COFFEE. 202 00:11:56,801 --> 00:11:58,934 EVERYONE COMFY? GOOD. 203 00:11:58,934 --> 00:12:00,868 I'LL BE BACK IN A JIFFY. 204 00:12:00,868 --> 00:12:04,133 * THE MORE WE ARE TOGETHER * 205 00:12:04,133 --> 00:12:06,434 * THE MERRIER WE SHALL BE. * 206 00:12:12,667 --> 00:12:13,868 ( phone ringing ) 207 00:12:13,868 --> 00:12:17,334 OH, MAKE THE COFFEE, WILL YOU, ELIZABETH? 208 00:12:17,334 --> 00:12:21,033 I EXPECT THAT'S SOMEONE IMPORTANT. 209 00:12:21,033 --> 00:12:24,300 THE "BOUQUET" RESIDENCE, THE LADY OF THE HOUSE SPEAKING. 210 00:12:24,300 --> 00:12:26,934 OH, IT'S YOU, DAISY. HOW ARE YOU, DEAR? 211 00:12:26,934 --> 00:12:29,534 LISTEN, DAISY, 212 00:12:29,534 --> 00:12:33,234 TELL ONSLOW TO PUT A SHIRT ON WHILE I'M ON THE TELEPHONE. 213 00:12:35,234 --> 00:12:40,100 I CAN ALWAYS SENSE HIM THERE-- EXPANDING. 214 00:12:41,501 --> 00:12:45,767 ONSLOW'S IN THE GARDEN? DADDY'S GONE NATURIST? 215 00:12:45,767 --> 00:12:49,667 WELL, I THINK THAT'S WONDERFUL AT HIS AGE. 216 00:12:49,667 --> 00:12:51,734 YES, ALL THAT WHOLESOME, HEALTHY FOOD, 217 00:12:51,734 --> 00:12:54,067 PLENTY OF ROUGHAGE. 218 00:12:54,067 --> 00:12:58,000 ONSLOW'S TRYING TO GET DADDY DOWN FROM WHERE? 219 00:12:58,000 --> 00:13:00,534 WELL, WHY WOULD DADDY BE UP THERE? 220 00:13:00,534 --> 00:13:02,834 THAT KINDOF NATURIST. 221 00:13:02,834 --> 00:13:05,334 WELL, WHAT KIND OF NATURIST IS HE? 222 00:13:05,334 --> 00:13:08,534 A STARK NATURIST? 223 00:13:08,534 --> 00:13:11,467 ONE MOMENT, HANG ON... 224 00:13:13,033 --> 00:13:15,267 SO GLAD YOU COULD POP IN. 225 00:13:15,267 --> 00:13:17,801 WE MUST DO THIS AGAIN VERY SHORTLY. 226 00:13:18,801 --> 00:13:20,601 THAT WAS QUICKER THAN I THOUGHT. 227 00:13:21,734 --> 00:13:24,200 I'VE STILL GOT HER COFFEE. 228 00:13:25,200 --> 00:13:26,834 ( doorbell rings ) 229 00:13:28,367 --> 00:13:32,267 OH, THANK YOU, DEAR, THAT'S VERY KIND OF YOU. 230 00:13:32,267 --> 00:13:35,601 MMM! MY FAVORITE BRAND, TOO. 231 00:13:38,667 --> 00:13:40,033 ( chuckling ) 232 00:13:41,534 --> 00:13:43,167 ( stomping on stairs ) 233 00:13:46,067 --> 00:13:48,300 WHERE HAVE YOU PUT FATHER? 234 00:13:48,300 --> 00:13:51,501 HE'S BACK IN HIS BED, FAST ASLEEP. 235 00:13:51,501 --> 00:13:53,434 IS HE WEARING PAJAMAS? 236 00:13:53,434 --> 00:13:56,400 HE SAYS IT'S AGAINST HIS CONVICTIONS. 237 00:13:56,400 --> 00:13:58,534 ( TV plays ) 238 00:14:00,767 --> 00:14:04,000 YOU'RE GREAT IN A CRISIS, ONSLOW. 239 00:14:04,000 --> 00:14:06,100 WHAT CRISIS? 240 00:14:06,100 --> 00:14:08,367 HAVE WE RUN OUT OF BEER? 241 00:14:11,767 --> 00:14:12,934 ( sighs ) OH-HH. 242 00:14:12,934 --> 00:14:16,534 JUST NOW, YOU WERE MAGNIFICENT. 243 00:14:16,534 --> 00:14:19,467 I COULD SEE YOU IN FULL PROFILE 244 00:14:19,467 --> 00:14:22,300 AS YOU WENT PAST, CARRYING FATHER. 245 00:14:23,467 --> 00:14:25,801 I HOPE YOU COULDN'T SEE HIM IN FULL PROFILE. 246 00:14:26,834 --> 00:14:30,501 YOU WERE WONDERFUL, ONSLOW. 247 00:14:30,501 --> 00:14:33,267 IT'S NOT THAT HE'S HEAVY. IT'S JUST, WITHOUT ANY CLOTHES ON, 248 00:14:33,267 --> 00:14:35,968 AT HIS AGE, THERE'S NOT MUCH TO GET AHOLD OF. 249 00:14:37,200 --> 00:14:39,901 AND YOU DID IT ALL FOR ME. 250 00:14:39,901 --> 00:14:43,434 I WISH THERE WAS SOME WAY I COULD REPAY YOU. 251 00:14:47,133 --> 00:14:52,067 LISTEN, DAISY, WHEN I PROMISED TO LOVE, HONOR AND OBEY, 252 00:14:52,067 --> 00:14:55,067 EVERYTUESDAY. 253 00:14:59,167 --> 00:15:02,667 HOW LONG HAS YOUR FATHER BEEN A NATURIST? 254 00:15:02,667 --> 00:15:05,801 I THINK THERE MUST BE SOME MISTAKE. 255 00:15:05,801 --> 00:15:08,601 DADDY'S ALWAYS BEEN "C OF E." 256 00:15:10,334 --> 00:15:12,501 DO THEY TAKE THEIR CLOTHES OFF? 257 00:15:15,200 --> 00:15:17,300 I THINK IT'S A CRY FOR HELP, DEAR. 258 00:15:17,300 --> 00:15:19,334 MIND THE LORRY. 259 00:15:19,334 --> 00:15:21,801 IT'S TURNING LEFT. 260 00:15:21,801 --> 00:15:24,100 AND THERE'S AN OLD LADY ON THE PAVEMENT. 261 00:15:24,100 --> 00:15:27,367 AND I AM ON THE ROAD, SO EVERYTHING IS AS IT SHOULD BE. 262 00:15:44,467 --> 00:15:46,601 ( car door closes ) 263 00:15:55,100 --> 00:15:57,400 I WISH WE COULD HAVE DADDY AT HOME, 264 00:15:57,400 --> 00:16:01,200 BUT HE DOES SO MONOPOLIZE THE BATHROOM. 265 00:16:10,467 --> 00:16:12,634 HOW CAN A PLACE LOOK LIKE THIS 266 00:16:12,634 --> 00:16:15,834 50 YEARS AFTER THE BLITZ? 267 00:16:30,767 --> 00:16:34,868 LEAVE IT, LEAVE IT. 268 00:16:39,601 --> 00:16:41,133 ( loud barking ) 269 00:16:49,434 --> 00:16:51,701 GOOD DOG. 270 00:16:52,968 --> 00:16:55,100 ( thumps ) 271 00:16:55,100 --> 00:16:59,167 AS SOON AS I'M QUITE SURE DADDY'S GOT ALL HIS CLOTHES ON, 272 00:16:59,167 --> 00:17:01,267 WE MUST GO AND PRACTICE OUR GOLF, RICHARD. 273 00:17:01,267 --> 00:17:03,901 CAN I ASK YOU TO FACE A LITTLE REALITY HERE? 274 00:17:03,901 --> 00:17:05,434 I'M TERRIBLE AT GOLF. 275 00:17:05,434 --> 00:17:08,868 IT'S ALL RIGHT. HE'S FINISHED BEING A NATURIST. 276 00:17:08,868 --> 00:17:10,901 HE FELL IN SOME NETTLES. 277 00:17:10,901 --> 00:17:13,000 MORNING. 278 00:17:15,033 --> 00:17:17,534 I SUPPOSE I'D BETTER GO AND PUT A COAT ON. 279 00:17:17,534 --> 00:17:19,868 NO, NO, NO, STAY JUST AS YOU ARE. 280 00:17:21,601 --> 00:17:24,667 YOU MAKE A VERY POWERFUL FIRST IMPRESSION 281 00:17:24,667 --> 00:17:26,767 DRESSED LIKE THIS, ONSLOW. 282 00:17:26,767 --> 00:17:30,000 I SHOULD LIKE YOU TO DO ME A LITTLE FAVOR. 283 00:17:38,400 --> 00:17:40,701 YOU'RE LOOKING VERY COLORFUL, RICHARD. 284 00:17:42,734 --> 00:17:46,467 IT'S PLAN "A" WITH A TOUCH OF PLAN "C." 285 00:17:48,000 --> 00:17:50,467 OH. HYACINTH? 286 00:17:50,467 --> 00:17:54,067 - WHO ELSE? - AHH. 287 00:17:59,667 --> 00:18:01,667 HELLO DEAR. I'M AFRAID YOU'VE JUST CAUGHT US 288 00:18:01,667 --> 00:18:04,133 OF GOLF. 289 00:18:04,133 --> 00:18:06,334 HERE YOU ARE, DEAR. 290 00:18:08,434 --> 00:18:10,000 OH. 291 00:18:10,000 --> 00:18:12,334 I DIDN'T KNOW YOU WERE SO KEEN, HYACINTH. 292 00:18:12,334 --> 00:18:16,000 OH, YES, DEAR. RICHARD'S PRACTICALLY A FANATIC. 293 00:18:20,400 --> 00:18:23,868 COME ALONG, RICHARD. WE WANT TO GET THROUGH THE FULL 16 HOLES. 294 00:18:29,067 --> 00:18:30,934 THANK YOU, DEAR. 295 00:18:30,934 --> 00:18:32,934 HAVE A GOOD "CHUKKA." 296 00:18:38,167 --> 00:18:41,200 COME ALONG, RICHARD, WE HAVEN'T GOT ALL DAY. 297 00:18:49,901 --> 00:18:54,000 NOW, TRY TO LOOK AS IF WE'RE MEANT TO BE HERE. 298 00:18:55,000 --> 00:18:57,667 YES, THIS IS THE PLACE. 299 00:18:57,667 --> 00:18:59,300 FOR WHAT? 300 00:18:59,300 --> 00:19:02,667 THE PLACE WHERE YOU WILL IMPRESS MR. MILLBURN. 301 00:19:02,667 --> 00:19:04,634 HYACINTH, I'M NOT FROSTICLE MATERIAL. 302 00:19:04,634 --> 00:19:06,734 I'LL NEVER MAKE A FROSTICLE. 303 00:19:06,734 --> 00:19:09,801 RICHARD, THE REFURBISHMENT OF THE DINING ROOM 304 00:19:09,801 --> 00:19:12,801 IS DEPENDING ON YOUR CAREER AS A FROSTICLE. 305 00:19:12,801 --> 00:19:15,067 HERE. 306 00:19:21,868 --> 00:19:25,133 HYACINTH-- GOLFING DISASTER THAT I AM, 307 00:19:25,133 --> 00:19:28,033 I DO KNOW THAT WE'RE SUPPOSED TO KEEP OUT OF THIS STUFF. 308 00:19:28,033 --> 00:19:30,801 THEY'LL THINK WE'RE LOOKING FOR A BALL. 309 00:19:30,801 --> 00:19:32,868 OH, WELL YES, I CAN DO THAT. 310 00:19:32,868 --> 00:19:36,033 LOOKING FOR A BALL, NOW YOU'RE TALKING MY GAME. 311 00:19:36,033 --> 00:19:38,133 AND IT WON'T REALLY BE A LIE, DEAR, 312 00:19:38,133 --> 00:19:40,133 BECAUSE WE ARE LOOKING FOR SOMETHING. 313 00:19:40,133 --> 00:19:41,767 WHAT? 314 00:19:43,400 --> 00:19:45,167 ONSLOW. 315 00:19:48,000 --> 00:19:52,734 YEAH, THIS IS ROUGHLY WHERE YOUR HYACINTH SAID. 316 00:19:52,734 --> 00:19:54,834 AND SHE SAID, "DON'T WEAR A SHIRT"? 317 00:19:54,834 --> 00:19:56,634 ARE YOU CERTAIN SHE SAID THAT? 318 00:19:56,634 --> 00:19:58,767 THAT'S WHAT SHE SAID. 319 00:19:58,767 --> 00:20:01,701 I EXPECT SHE WANTS ME CASUAL FOR GOLF. 320 00:20:01,701 --> 00:20:05,634 WHY WOULD SHE WANT YOU AT ALL FOR GOLF? 321 00:20:05,634 --> 00:20:08,968 SHE KNOWS I HAVE SPORTING INTERESTS. 322 00:20:08,968 --> 00:20:11,701 YOU WATCH RACING ON TELLY. 323 00:20:11,701 --> 00:20:15,133 I DON'T JUST WATCH IT. I PUT BETS ON. 324 00:20:15,133 --> 00:20:17,167 THAT'S NOT LIKE OUR HYACINTH. 325 00:20:17,167 --> 00:20:19,834 SHE USUALLY GOES SPARE WHEN YOU DON'T WEAR A SHIRT. 326 00:20:19,834 --> 00:20:22,501 ALL I KNOW IS SHE SAID THERE'D BE 327 00:20:22,501 --> 00:20:24,367 A MONTH'S SUPPLY OF BEER AND CRISPS IN IT. 328 00:20:24,367 --> 00:20:28,200 AND IF THINGS GO RIGHT, AS MUCH FROZEN FOOD AS WE CAN EAT. 329 00:20:29,501 --> 00:20:31,734 FROZEN FOOD? 330 00:20:31,734 --> 00:20:35,067 SHE'S BRIBING YOU WITH FROZEN FOOD? 331 00:20:35,067 --> 00:20:36,868 WHAT'S SHE UP TO? 332 00:20:36,868 --> 00:20:40,767 ALL I HAVE TO DO IS WAIT IN THE TREES OVER THERE 333 00:20:40,767 --> 00:20:44,067 UNTIL SHE RAISES HER CLUB IN THE AIR AS A SIGNAL. 334 00:20:44,067 --> 00:20:46,601 THEN I HAVE TO SHOW MYSELF. 335 00:20:46,601 --> 00:20:48,968 SHOW YOURSELF? 336 00:20:48,968 --> 00:20:51,934 JUST STAND ON THE EDGE OF THE GOLF COURSE, 337 00:20:51,934 --> 00:20:54,067 LOOKING ALL MALE AND MENACING. 338 00:20:54,067 --> 00:20:55,801 WHY? 339 00:20:55,801 --> 00:20:58,734 I DON'T KNOW WHY. 340 00:20:58,734 --> 00:21:00,167 BUT FOR A MONTH'S SUPPLY OF BEER 341 00:21:00,167 --> 00:21:02,300 AND SMOKY BACON, I DON'T CARE WHY. 342 00:21:04,033 --> 00:21:06,167 IT'S YOUR BODY. 343 00:21:06,167 --> 00:21:10,133 OUR HYACINTH IS GETTING FASCINATED WITH YOUR BODY. OOH! 344 00:21:10,133 --> 00:21:11,834 OH, NICE. 345 00:21:19,234 --> 00:21:22,033 WILL YOU KNOW THIS MILLBURN WHEN YOU SEE HIM? 346 00:21:22,033 --> 00:21:25,167 HE WON'T NECESSARILY BE COVERED IN ICICLES, YOU KNOW. 347 00:21:25,167 --> 00:21:28,767 WELL, OF COURSE I'LL KNOW HIM. 348 00:21:28,767 --> 00:21:31,200 I STOOD VERY CLOSE TO HIM ONCE AT THE RAILWAY STATION. 349 00:21:31,200 --> 00:21:35,601 OH, YOU KNOW HIM THAT WELL? 350 00:21:35,601 --> 00:21:38,868 SO WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO DO WHEN HE COMES? 351 00:21:38,868 --> 00:21:41,534 PLAN "A," DEAR, REMEMBER? 352 00:21:41,534 --> 00:21:43,968 I SHALL GIVE A SIGNAL TO ONSLOW, 353 00:21:43,968 --> 00:21:46,467 WHO WILL EMERGE FROM THE BUSHES 354 00:21:46,467 --> 00:21:47,701 AND JUST STAND THERE. 355 00:21:47,701 --> 00:21:50,567 THE MILLBURN PARTY WILL ESPY HIM 356 00:21:50,567 --> 00:21:52,567 AND KNOW THAT HE'S UP TO NO GOOD. 357 00:21:52,567 --> 00:21:54,701 HOW WILL THEY KNOW HE'S UP TO NO GOOD? 358 00:21:54,701 --> 00:21:58,133 BECAUSE THAT'S THE IMPRESSION ONSLOW ALWAYS MAKES. 359 00:21:59,834 --> 00:22:02,234 SO HE'S STANDING THERE, UP TO NO GOOD. 360 00:22:02,234 --> 00:22:06,167 THEN, I SHALL SAY IN A VOICE LOUD AND CLEAR, 361 00:22:06,167 --> 00:22:08,968 "RICHARD, WILL YOU PLEASE DO SOMETHING 362 00:22:08,968 --> 00:22:11,734 ABOUT THAT SUSPICIOUS LOOKING PERSON?" 363 00:22:11,734 --> 00:22:16,100 YOU WILL THEN WALK TOWARDS ONSLOW... 364 00:22:17,100 --> 00:22:20,400 AND THROW HIM OUT. 365 00:22:22,767 --> 00:22:27,133 AND SO THE MILLBURNS WILL BE BOWLED OVER 366 00:22:27,133 --> 00:22:29,133 BY YOUR EXECUTIVE POTENTIAL. 367 00:22:30,300 --> 00:22:32,601 ( laughing ) 368 00:22:32,601 --> 00:22:35,033 YOUR HYACINTH, SHE LOOKS A RIGHT MUFFIN 369 00:22:35,033 --> 00:22:37,434 IN THAT GOLFING GEAR. 370 00:22:41,100 --> 00:22:44,334 IT'S BEEN A LONG TIME SINCE YOU BROUGHT ME INTO THE WOODS, ONSLOW. 371 00:22:44,334 --> 00:22:46,634 NOW DON'T START GETTING BROODY. 372 00:22:48,901 --> 00:22:51,167 FIRST WHIFF OF LEAF MOLD AND YOU'RE OFF. 373 00:22:52,300 --> 00:22:54,267 "ME, TARZAN;" YOU USED TO SAY, 374 00:22:54,267 --> 00:22:57,834 "YOU, JANE." THEN YOU USED TO BEAT YOUR CHEST AND CHASE ME THROUGH THE WOODS. 375 00:22:57,834 --> 00:23:00,367 THAT WAS ADOLESCENCE, DAISY. 376 00:23:00,367 --> 00:23:02,801 WE HAD ONE-TRACK MINDS IN THOSE DAYS. 377 00:23:02,801 --> 00:23:05,934 I WAS FULL OF HORMONES. 378 00:23:05,934 --> 00:23:08,701 WE WASTED ALL OUR EDUCATIONAL OPPORTUNITIES. 379 00:23:10,033 --> 00:23:12,901 THE NUMBER OF TIMES WE WENT INTO THOSE WOODS... 380 00:23:14,234 --> 00:23:17,400 WE NEVER ONCE NOTICED A SQUIRREL, DID WE? 381 00:23:20,067 --> 00:23:22,167 RICHARD, HERE THEY COME. 382 00:23:22,167 --> 00:23:24,200 START LOOKING EXECUTIVE. 383 00:23:25,667 --> 00:23:27,701 HE'S THE ONE IN THE RED TROUSERS. 384 00:23:27,701 --> 00:23:31,000 I COULDN'T WORK FOR ANYBODY WHO WEARS RED TROUSERS. 385 00:23:31,000 --> 00:23:32,868 NOW, ON MY SIGNAL, RICHARD. 386 00:23:35,100 --> 00:23:36,667 AHH! 387 00:23:56,434 --> 00:23:58,467 WHAT'S THE WOMAN DOING? 388 00:23:58,467 --> 00:24:00,701 I'VE NEVER SEEN ANYTHING LIKE IT. 389 00:24:07,334 --> 00:24:10,334 ( yells ) FORE! 390 00:24:11,334 --> 00:24:13,634 ULP! 391 00:24:28,000 --> 00:24:31,300 ( loudly ) RICHARD, I DON'T LIKE THE LOOK 392 00:24:31,300 --> 00:24:33,367 OF THIS SUSPICIOUS LOOKING PERSON. 393 00:24:33,367 --> 00:24:36,434 PLEASE GET RID OF HIM. 394 00:24:43,100 --> 00:24:45,367 SUICIDE MISSION. 395 00:24:45,367 --> 00:24:47,434 I ADMIRE THE FOOL'S NERVE. 396 00:24:47,434 --> 00:24:51,100 VERY RARE QUALITY THESE DAYS, SUCH STUPIDITY. 397 00:25:03,934 --> 00:25:06,400 WELL DONE, MADMAN! 398 00:25:06,400 --> 00:25:09,701 PLEASE PLAY THROUGH. 399 00:25:11,234 --> 00:25:14,767 THANK YOU, MADAM. AND CONGRATULATIONS TO YOUR HUSBAND. 400 00:25:14,767 --> 00:25:18,634 HE'S A DYNAMO TO HIS FINGERTIPS, BLESS HIM. 401 00:25:18,634 --> 00:25:21,801 I'VE KNOW HIM THRUM AWAY QUIETLY, EVEN IN REPOSE. 402 00:25:35,033 --> 00:25:38,667 YOU'VE DONE IT, DEAR, THEY WERE IMPRESSED. 403 00:25:38,667 --> 00:25:41,601 - CAN WE GO HOME NOW? - OF COURSE NOT, DEAR. 404 00:25:41,601 --> 00:25:43,534 WE FINISH THE ROUND 405 00:25:43,534 --> 00:25:45,501 AND THEN WE GET CHATTING TO MR. MILLBURN IN THE CLUB. 406 00:25:57,033 --> 00:25:58,701 - Man: OH, HEY! - ( heckler whistling ) 407 00:25:58,701 --> 00:26:02,601 STRIKES ME, MATE, YOU NEED A BIGGER HOLE OR SMALLER BALLS. 408 00:26:02,601 --> 00:26:06,300 COME ON, MATE, HURRY UP, WE HAVEN'T GOT ALL DAY. 409 00:26:10,467 --> 00:26:13,334 OH--! HE'S COMING YOUR WAY. 410 00:26:13,334 --> 00:26:17,667 - WHO? - DON'T LOOK NOW, RICHARD, BUT I DO BELIEVE HE-- 411 00:26:17,667 --> 00:26:20,467 YES, HE IS. MR. MILLBURN'S COMING. 412 00:26:20,467 --> 00:26:23,634 HE'S GOING TO INVITE US TO JOIN HIM. I TOLD YOU YOU'D MADE AN IMPRESSION. 413 00:26:23,634 --> 00:26:26,334 I SAY, WOULD YOU MIND? 414 00:26:26,334 --> 00:26:29,467 DO YOU THINK YOUR HUSBAND COULD DO HIS STUFF AGAIN? 415 00:26:29,467 --> 00:26:32,100 WE'VE GOT A COUPLE OF OFFENSIVE TYPES UP THERE, 416 00:26:32,100 --> 00:26:33,300 NEED TO BE TAUGHT A LESSON. 417 00:26:33,300 --> 00:26:36,467 RICHARD, HOW WONDERFUL! 418 00:26:36,467 --> 00:26:38,934 HE'S LEANING ON YOU ALREADY, DEAR. 419 00:26:42,133 --> 00:26:44,801 OFF YOU GO THEN, DEAR. 420 00:26:46,767 --> 00:26:49,501 GO ON. 421 00:26:49,501 --> 00:26:51,934 COME ON, HURRY UP. LET'S SEE YOU 422 00:26:51,934 --> 00:26:54,133 GET THE LITTLE BALL DOWN THE HOLE. 423 00:26:54,133 --> 00:26:57,400 I SHOULD WATCH YOUR STUFF, THIS CHAP'S DYNAMITE. 424 00:26:57,400 --> 00:27:00,267 I'VE SEEN HIM DEAL WITH BIGGER LADS THAN YOU. 425 00:27:00,267 --> 00:27:02,968 OH YEAH? 426 00:27:06,334 --> 00:27:08,634 HE'S COMING. 427 00:27:23,334 --> 00:27:25,334 ( whimpers ) 428 00:27:31,067 --> 00:27:32,300 AHH! 429 00:27:34,567 --> 00:27:36,634 NOT SO GOOD THIS TIME. 430 00:27:36,634 --> 00:27:38,000 ( laughs ) 431 00:27:39,300 --> 00:27:42,667 HELLO, MISSUS. GOING "WALKIES"? 432 00:27:42,667 --> 00:27:44,133 ( motorcycle whirrs ) 433 00:27:44,133 --> 00:27:46,501 WANT TO PLAY GAMES, DO YOU? 434 00:27:52,033 --> 00:27:56,067 MY GOD, SHE'S MAGNIFICENT. 435 00:27:58,367 --> 00:28:00,934 RICHARD, RICHARD! 436 00:28:00,934 --> 00:28:04,400 I'VE BEEN OFFERED A JOB WITH FROSTICLES. 437 00:28:05,701 --> 00:28:08,200 OH, TAKE IT, HYACINTH, PLEASE. 438 00:28:08,200 --> 00:28:10,534 I COULDN'T DO THAT, DEAR. 439 00:28:10,534 --> 00:28:12,734 YOU'D BE SO BORED AT HOME WITHOUT ME. 440 00:28:12,734 --> 00:28:15,767 ( weeping ) 441 00:28:17,334 --> 00:28:19,767 ( theme music playing ) 0 00:00:0,500 --> 00:00:2,00 www.tvsubtitles.net 32288