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1
00:00:06,033 --> 00:00:08,167
( theme music
playing )
2
00:00:53,400 --> 00:00:54,968
POSTMAN!
3
00:00:59,300 --> 00:01:01,467
I HOPE THAT'S
A FIRST-CLASS STAMP.
4
00:01:04,601 --> 00:01:06,434
I OBJECT TO HAVING
SECOND-CLASS STAMPS
5
00:01:06,434 --> 00:01:10,133
THRUST THROUGH
MY LETTERBOX.
6
00:01:10,133 --> 00:01:12,467
I SHOULD HAVE THOUGHT POSTMEN
WOULD BE TRAINED
7
00:01:12,467 --> 00:01:14,467
TO RECOGNIZE
FIRST-CLASS STAMP HOUSES.
8
00:01:16,267 --> 00:01:20,000
IT'S NOT THE POST OFFICE
PUTS THE STAMPS ON.
IT'S THE SENDERS.
9
00:01:20,000 --> 00:01:24,067
OH, YES, OF COURSE.
BLAME THE PUBLIC.
10
00:01:24,067 --> 00:01:27,601
WOULD YOU PLEASE
INFORM YOUR SUPERVISOR
THAT IN FUTURE
11
00:01:27,601 --> 00:01:29,767
I WANT MY STAMPS
ADJUSTED UPWARDS.
12
00:01:35,534 --> 00:01:37,234
HOW DO I LOOK?
13
00:01:40,701 --> 00:01:43,167
I WANT YOUR OPINION--
14
00:01:43,167 --> 00:01:46,300
IS THIS APPROPRIATE
FOR BUSINESSWEAR?
15
00:01:49,133 --> 00:01:53,701
YOU TWO
DON'T JUST SLEEP,
YOU HIBERNATE.
16
00:01:53,701 --> 00:01:55,167
OH, AH--
17
00:01:55,167 --> 00:01:58,467
IS THAT ONSLOW'S BEER
I SEE SPILLING OUT
ONTO THE FLOOR?
18
00:01:58,467 --> 00:02:00,834
WHERE? WHERE?
19
00:02:03,200 --> 00:02:05,567
( sarcastically )
OH, NICE.
20
00:02:05,567 --> 00:02:07,434
UP HALF THE NIGHT
WITH YOUR HYACINTH
21
00:02:07,434 --> 00:02:09,167
AND NOW THERE'S SOME OTHER
COMEDIAN.
22
00:02:09,167 --> 00:02:11,567
I WISH YOU'D BUG OFF.
23
00:02:11,567 --> 00:02:14,601
I'M STILL
IN HYACINTH
AFTERSHOCK.
24
00:02:14,601 --> 00:02:18,033
OH, DON'T
GO BACK TO SLEEP.
TELL ME HOW I LOOK.
25
00:02:18,033 --> 00:02:21,300
WHAT MAKES YOU THINK
I CAN SEE?
26
00:02:21,300 --> 00:02:24,701
- DAISY, DAISY!
- ( Daisy yelps )
27
00:02:24,701 --> 00:02:28,734
WELL, IF IT'S OUR HYACINTH
COME BACK, I'M NOT IN.
28
00:02:28,734 --> 00:02:30,567
SHE'S NOT COME BACK.
29
00:02:30,567 --> 00:02:33,200
I'LL SAY THIS MUCH
FOR YOUR HYACINTH--
30
00:02:33,200 --> 00:02:35,901
SHE LEAVES A LOT
OF HAPPINESS BEHIND HER.
31
00:02:35,901 --> 00:02:38,501
IT'S SUCH A RELIEF
WHEN SHE'S GONE.
32
00:02:38,501 --> 00:02:40,868
HOW DO I LOOK?
33
00:02:40,868 --> 00:02:42,267
FOR DOING WHAT?
34
00:02:42,267 --> 00:02:46,300
FOR SELLING COSTUME JEWELRY
DOOR TO DOOR.
35
00:02:46,300 --> 00:02:50,300
AM I DRESSED PROPERLY
FOR BUSINESS?
36
00:02:50,300 --> 00:02:52,567
YOU COULD GET ARRESTED
FOR THAT KIND OF BUSINESS.
37
00:02:52,567 --> 00:02:54,467
OOH!
38
00:02:58,334 --> 00:03:01,734
RICHARD!
39
00:03:01,734 --> 00:03:05,234
ONE OF THESE DAYS
YOU'LL FIND ME LYING
IN A POOL OF BLOOD.
40
00:03:05,234 --> 00:03:07,067
LISTEN TO THIS--
41
00:03:07,067 --> 00:03:11,400
"WANTED:
MANAGING DIRECTOR,
FROZEN FOODS.
42
00:03:11,400 --> 00:03:14,267
ONLY PERSONS
OF PROVEN ABILITY
43
00:03:14,267 --> 00:03:17,067
SHOULD APPLY
FOR THIS SENIOR
POSITION."
44
00:03:17,067 --> 00:03:18,901
WHY ARE YOU
TELLING ME THIS?
45
00:03:18,901 --> 00:03:21,133
BECAUSE IT'S YOU,
RICHARD.
46
00:03:21,133 --> 00:03:23,501
IT'S ABSOLUTELY YOU.
47
00:03:23,501 --> 00:03:25,701
FROZEN FOODS?
48
00:03:25,701 --> 00:03:29,701
NOT THAT BIT, DEAR.
THE "PERSON OF PROVEN
ABILITY."
49
00:03:29,701 --> 00:03:33,400
AND THE FIRM
IS "FROSTICLES."
50
00:03:33,400 --> 00:03:36,167
THEIR FACTORY'S
ONLY A FEW MILES
DOWN THE ROAD,
51
00:03:36,167 --> 00:03:38,767
YOU COULD BE
HOME FOR LUNCH
EVERY DAY.
52
00:03:38,767 --> 00:03:40,367
WAIT A MINUTE,
HYACINTH.
53
00:03:40,367 --> 00:03:43,467
YOU COULD HAVE THE FIRM'S CAR,
PROBABLY A CHAUFFEUR--
54
00:03:43,467 --> 00:03:46,400
HANG ON,
ARE YOU SUGGESTING
THAT I SHOULD APPLY?
55
00:03:46,400 --> 00:03:48,634
NOT THROUGH THE NORMAL
CHANNELS, DEAR.
56
00:03:48,634 --> 00:03:51,100
I MEAN,
WHAT'S THE POINT
OF KNOWING PEOPLE
57
00:03:51,100 --> 00:03:53,901
IF ONE HAS TO APPLY
THROUGH THE NORMAL
CHANNELS?
58
00:03:53,901 --> 00:03:58,100
- DO WE KNOW PEOPLE?
- OH, NOT JUST PEOPLE!
59
00:03:58,100 --> 00:04:01,100
WE KNOW "FROSTICLES"
HIMSELF.
60
00:04:01,100 --> 00:04:02,934
OR AT LEAST
"MRS. FROSTICLES."
61
00:04:03,968 --> 00:04:06,434
THE MILLBURNS!
62
00:04:06,434 --> 00:04:09,801
THAT THRUSTING CREATURE
ON THE LADIES' LUNCHEON
COMMITTEE.
63
00:04:09,801 --> 00:04:12,367
SHE WAS A HACKETT
FROM WILTON STREET
64
00:04:12,367 --> 00:04:16,834
BEFORE SHE LAID HERSELF
SHAMELESSLY IN THE PATH
OF FROSTICLES.
65
00:04:16,834 --> 00:04:20,000
WE MUST MAKE SURE
THAT HE KNOWS
YOU'RE AVAILABLE.
66
00:04:23,534 --> 00:04:26,100
NOW, SIT THERE,
67
00:04:26,100 --> 00:04:27,767
AND PRACTICE
BEING FIRM.
68
00:04:27,767 --> 00:04:30,868
ALL YOU HAVE TO DO
IS SAY "NO."
69
00:04:30,868 --> 00:04:34,534
HAVE YOU EVER TRIED
SAYING NO TO HYACINTH?
70
00:04:34,534 --> 00:04:39,100
LIZ, SHE'S JUST
A HUMAN BEING.
71
00:04:40,400 --> 00:04:42,801
JUST.
72
00:04:42,801 --> 00:04:45,300
LOOK, YOU'RE
A FREE SPIRIT.
73
00:04:45,300 --> 00:04:48,767
IF YOU DON'T WANT TO GO
ROUND THERE FOR COFFEE
WHEN SHE ASKS YOU, SAY NO.
74
00:04:48,767 --> 00:04:52,367
IT DOESN'T
MAKE ANY DIFFERENCE,
SHE NEVER LISTENS ANYWAY.
75
00:04:52,367 --> 00:04:55,100
ALL RIGHT,
WE'LL REHEARSE IT.
76
00:04:55,100 --> 00:04:58,100
YOU SIT THERE PRACTICING
STEELY DETERMINATION,
77
00:04:58,100 --> 00:05:01,234
AND I SHALL PRETEND
TO BE HYACINTH.
78
00:05:04,300 --> 00:05:07,868
GREATER LOVE HATH
NO MAN FOR HIS SISTER
79
00:05:07,868 --> 00:05:10,534
THAN TO BE HYACINTH.
80
00:05:10,534 --> 00:05:13,467
RIGHT, HERE WE GO.
81
00:05:14,734 --> 00:05:16,634
PHONE RINGING...
82
00:05:16,634 --> 00:05:19,167
WELL, ANSWER IT.
83
00:05:22,100 --> 00:05:23,734
HELLO?
84
00:05:23,734 --> 00:05:27,801
( loudly )
COFFEE AT 11:00,
ELIZABETH?
85
00:05:27,801 --> 00:05:30,334
THANK YOU,
HYACINTH.
86
00:05:31,334 --> 00:05:33,634
OH, NO.
87
00:05:33,634 --> 00:05:36,567
I'M SORRY, BUT YOU
WERE SO LIFELIKE.
88
00:05:41,834 --> 00:05:45,534
NOW THE FIRST THING
TO DO IS TO GET YOU
TO MEET MR. MILLBURN--
89
00:05:45,534 --> 00:05:47,167
"FROSTICLES" HIMSELF.
90
00:05:48,901 --> 00:05:51,934
NO UNDERLINGS,
GO STRAIGHT TO THE TOP.
91
00:05:51,934 --> 00:05:54,300
I DON'T KNOW
THE MAN.
92
00:05:54,300 --> 00:05:57,934
OF COURSE,
IT'LL HAVE TO LOOK
LIKE A CHANCE MEETING.
93
00:05:57,934 --> 00:06:00,634
YOU'RE NOT GOING
TO START PLOTTING ME
INTO SOMETHING.
94
00:06:00,634 --> 00:06:03,100
I STILL BLUSH WHEN
I REMEMBER HOW YOU TRIED
95
00:06:03,100 --> 00:06:05,400
TO MAKE ME PRESIDENT
OF THE ARCHERY CLUB.
96
00:06:05,400 --> 00:06:09,567
WE WERE DOING
SPLENDIDLY UNTIL
YOU SHOT MRS. LAZENBY.
97
00:06:10,968 --> 00:06:13,601
I'VE NEVER HEARD
SUCH A FUSS.
98
00:06:13,601 --> 00:06:16,400
IT WAS ONLY
A GLANCING WOUND.
99
00:06:16,400 --> 00:06:18,968
WE'LL GET IT WRONG.
WE ALWAYS GET IT WRONG.
100
00:06:18,968 --> 00:06:20,801
RICHARD!
101
00:06:20,801 --> 00:06:23,567
I'M DOING THIS
FOR YOU, DEAR.
102
00:06:23,567 --> 00:06:25,367
IT IS MY DUTY
TO GIVE YOU
103
00:06:25,367 --> 00:06:27,701
A NEW VISION
FOR THE FUTURE.
104
00:06:27,701 --> 00:06:29,767
IN FROZEN FOODS?
105
00:06:29,767 --> 00:06:32,400
IN A SENIOR EXECUTIVE
POSITION.
106
00:06:32,400 --> 00:06:35,234
- I'LL GET FROSTBITE.
- OH, RICHARD.
107
00:06:35,234 --> 00:06:37,000
BITS OF ME WILL
START FALLING OFF.
108
00:06:38,300 --> 00:06:40,567
I CAN'T APPLY
FOR A POSITION
LIKE THAT.
109
00:06:40,567 --> 00:06:42,634
OF COURSE
YOU CAN'T.
110
00:06:42,634 --> 00:06:46,400
YOU DON'T THINK THAT
THESE SENIOR EXECUTIVE
POSITIONS
111
00:06:46,400 --> 00:06:47,968
ARE FILLED
BY APPLICATION?
112
00:06:47,968 --> 00:06:51,968
IT'S ALWAYS DONE
BY PEOPLE KNOWING PEOPLE.
113
00:06:51,968 --> 00:06:54,634
PEOPLE UPON WHOM
ONE HAS MADE AN IMPRESSION
114
00:06:54,634 --> 00:06:56,767
ON SOCIAL OCCASIONS.
115
00:06:56,767 --> 00:07:01,467
BUT WHERE AM I GOING
TO MAKE AN IMPRESSION
ON OLD FROSTICLES?
116
00:07:01,467 --> 00:07:04,434
- ON THE GOLF COURSE.
- WHA--!
117
00:07:04,434 --> 00:07:06,667
A GOOD IDEA--
118
00:07:06,667 --> 00:07:08,701
LEAVE IT
TO ME, DEAR.
119
00:07:08,701 --> 00:07:11,267
HE'LL PROBABLY
BE ON THE COURSE
THIS EVENING.
120
00:07:11,267 --> 00:07:14,067
RELAXING AFTER
A DAY'S EXECUTING.
121
00:07:14,067 --> 00:07:18,334
THEN YOU COME ALONG
LOOKING RUTHLESSLY
EFFICIENT.
122
00:07:18,334 --> 00:07:21,734
YOU MEAN THIS TIME
I'M GOING TO CLOBBER
MRS. FROSTICLES?
123
00:07:24,300 --> 00:07:26,801
THAT WAS
A LOT BETTER.
124
00:07:28,133 --> 00:07:29,701
LET'S HAVE
ANOTHER GO.
125
00:07:29,701 --> 00:07:33,901
AND REMEMBER, LIZ,
YOU'RE A WOMAN NOT
TO BE TRIFLED WITH.
126
00:07:35,067 --> 00:07:37,200
RIGHT,
HERE WE GO AGAIN.
127
00:07:37,200 --> 00:07:39,267
PHONE'S RINGING.
128
00:07:40,968 --> 00:07:44,734
- HELLO?
- IT'S ONLY ME, ELIZABETH.
129
00:07:47,100 --> 00:07:49,033
COFFEE AT 11:00?
130
00:07:49,033 --> 00:07:52,567
NO THANK YOU, HYACINTH,
SOME OTHER TIME.
131
00:07:53,567 --> 00:07:55,801
I DID IT!
132
00:07:59,267 --> 00:08:01,033
YOU SEE?
WELL DONE!
133
00:08:01,033 --> 00:08:04,133
IT'S JUST A QUESTION
OF GETTING STARTED,
ISN'T IT?
134
00:08:04,133 --> 00:08:06,400
ONCE YOU'VE STARTED
IT'S QUITE EASY.
135
00:08:06,400 --> 00:08:08,400
AND YOU
ARE VERY GOOD.
136
00:08:08,400 --> 00:08:11,033
YOU REALLY SOUNDED
LIKE HYACINTH.
137
00:08:13,033 --> 00:08:16,234
I MUST ASK YOU
TO NEVER REPEAT THAT
IN FRONT OF A LIVING SOUL.
138
00:08:16,234 --> 00:08:18,801
- GO ON, ANSWER IT.
139
00:08:21,667 --> 00:08:25,400
HELLO?
COFFEE AT 11:00?
140
00:08:25,400 --> 00:08:27,534
THANK YOU, HYACINTH.
141
00:08:33,567 --> 00:08:37,267
NOW LET ME SEE YOU,
RICHARD.
142
00:08:37,267 --> 00:08:40,767
AND REMEMBER--
FIRST IMPRESSIONS.
143
00:08:40,767 --> 00:08:42,767
( tinkling )
144
00:08:43,834 --> 00:08:47,067
THE TROUBLE IS,
I DON'T DO IMPRESSIONS.
145
00:08:48,534 --> 00:08:50,300
NO, NO, NO,
RICHARD.
146
00:08:50,300 --> 00:08:52,767
I WANT TO SEE
A CAPTAIN OF INDUSTRY.
147
00:08:52,767 --> 00:08:55,167
YOU MUSTN'T LET
FROSTICLES SEE YOU
148
00:08:55,167 --> 00:08:56,634
LOOKING INDECISIVE
LIKE THAT.
149
00:08:56,634 --> 00:09:00,133
BUT I FEEL INDECISIVE.
I'M HAPPY WITH INDECISIVE.
150
00:09:00,133 --> 00:09:04,267
RICHARD, WHEN FROSTICLES
FIRST CLAPS EYES ON YOU,
151
00:09:04,267 --> 00:09:06,934
YOU MUST BE LOOKING
FORCEFUL AND EXECUTIVE.
152
00:09:06,934 --> 00:09:10,033
AND EXECUTIVE, HYACINTH.
153
00:09:10,033 --> 00:09:12,667
GOOD.
154
00:09:12,667 --> 00:09:15,534
I CAN FEEL IT NOW,
COMING UP THROUGH
MY KNEES.
155
00:09:16,801 --> 00:09:20,934
OH, HERE IT COMES...
UP THROUGH MY GROIN.
156
00:09:24,267 --> 00:09:27,968
RICHARD, WHAT KIND
OF LANGUAGE IS THAT
FOR A SENIOR FROSTICLE?
157
00:09:27,968 --> 00:09:30,968
- NEXT!
- ( tinkling )
158
00:09:32,567 --> 00:09:34,801
RIGHT. YOU FAILED
ON THE TELEPHONE,
159
00:09:34,801 --> 00:09:36,701
LET'S TRY IT
FACE-TO-FACE.
160
00:09:36,701 --> 00:09:38,501
WITH HYACINTH?
161
00:09:38,501 --> 00:09:42,567
YES, OF COURSE
WITH HYACINTH.
162
00:09:42,567 --> 00:09:44,634
JUST TELL HER
TO HER FACE THAT YOU
HAVEN'T GOT THE TIME
163
00:09:44,634 --> 00:09:46,501
TO ACCEPT
HER INVITATION
TO COFFEE.
164
00:09:46,501 --> 00:09:48,667
COULDN'T I DO IT
ON THE TELEPHONE?
165
00:09:48,667 --> 00:09:51,200
YOU FAILED TELEPHONE.
166
00:09:53,200 --> 00:09:56,300
I SHALL FAIL
FACE TO FACE.
167
00:10:01,901 --> 00:10:06,968
( chanting )
I'M FORCEFUL AND EXECUTIVE,
I'M FORCEFUL AND EXECUTIVE,
168
00:10:06,968 --> 00:10:09,767
I'M FORCEFUL
AND EXECUTIVE...
169
00:10:14,767 --> 00:10:17,334
( doorbell rings )
170
00:10:19,634 --> 00:10:22,067
OH, IT'S YOU,
ELIZABETH!
171
00:10:22,067 --> 00:10:24,434
A LITTLE EARLY, DEAR.
BUT DO COME IN.
172
00:10:24,434 --> 00:10:27,467
( stammers )
OH, I, I-- ACTUALLY,
HYACINTH,
173
00:10:27,467 --> 00:10:29,267
I CAME TO TELL YOU--
174
00:10:29,267 --> 00:10:32,234
AND BRING
EMMET IN TOO.
175
00:10:32,234 --> 00:10:34,167
WELL, NO ACTUALLY,
I CAN'T.
176
00:10:34,167 --> 00:10:36,501
I'VE GOT
SO MANY IMPORTANT
THINGS TO DO--
177
00:10:39,767 --> 00:10:42,067
DO SIT DOWN,
MY DEARS. ANYWHERE.
178
00:10:44,133 --> 00:10:45,601
EXCEPT THERE!
179
00:10:47,234 --> 00:10:49,434
LEAVE THAT ONE
FOR ME.
180
00:10:49,434 --> 00:10:51,968
( giggles )
181
00:10:53,100 --> 00:10:55,467
OOP! MILK!
182
00:10:57,868 --> 00:10:59,801
IS RICHARD ALL RIGHT?
183
00:10:59,801 --> 00:11:01,234
HMM? WHY DEAR?
184
00:11:01,234 --> 00:11:03,734
WELL, HE PASSED US
ON THE DOORSTEP
185
00:11:03,734 --> 00:11:06,400
AND I THOUGHT HE LOOKED
A BIT PREOCCUPIED.
186
00:11:06,400 --> 00:11:09,100
OH, HE'S GOT
A LOT ON HIS MIND.
187
00:11:09,100 --> 00:11:11,300
HE'S TOYING
WITH VARIOUS OFFERS
188
00:11:11,300 --> 00:11:14,367
FOR A SENIOR
EXECUTIVE POSITION
IN INDUSTRY.
189
00:11:14,367 --> 00:11:16,334
NOW, MAKE
YOURSELVES COMFY.
190
00:11:16,334 --> 00:11:18,701
AND IF YOU'LL EXCUSE ME,
I'LL JUST GO AND WIPE
191
00:11:18,701 --> 00:11:20,667
EMMET'S FOOTMARK
OFF MY WOODBLOCK.
192
00:11:22,901 --> 00:11:25,133
PERHAPS
I OUGHT TO TAKE
YOUR SHOES, EMMET.
193
00:11:25,133 --> 00:11:27,334
COME ALONG.
194
00:11:29,467 --> 00:11:32,868
WE DON'T WANT
A REPETITION ON
YOUR WAY OUT, DO WE?
195
00:11:32,868 --> 00:11:34,934
OF COURSE, RICHARD AND I
NEVER HAVE THIS PROBLEM
196
00:11:34,934 --> 00:11:37,267
BECAUSE WE ALWAYS
WEAR LEATHER.
197
00:11:41,400 --> 00:11:44,868
DON'T SAY A WORD.
198
00:11:46,434 --> 00:11:48,467
SHE'LL SING AT ME.
199
00:11:48,467 --> 00:11:50,367
NOW SHE HAS ME
TRAPPED AND BAREFOOT,
200
00:11:50,367 --> 00:11:52,634
HEAVEN KNOWS
WHAT SHE'LL DO.
201
00:11:53,734 --> 00:11:56,801
JUST DON'T LET ME
SPILL THE COFFEE.
202
00:11:56,801 --> 00:11:58,934
EVERYONE COMFY?
GOOD.
203
00:11:58,934 --> 00:12:00,868
I'LL BE BACK
IN A JIFFY.
204
00:12:00,868 --> 00:12:04,133
* THE MORE WE
ARE TOGETHER *
205
00:12:04,133 --> 00:12:06,434
* THE MERRIER
WE SHALL BE. *
206
00:12:12,667 --> 00:12:13,868
( phone ringing )
207
00:12:13,868 --> 00:12:17,334
OH, MAKE THE COFFEE,
WILL YOU, ELIZABETH?
208
00:12:17,334 --> 00:12:21,033
I EXPECT THAT'S
SOMEONE IMPORTANT.
209
00:12:21,033 --> 00:12:24,300
THE "BOUQUET" RESIDENCE,
THE LADY OF THE HOUSE SPEAKING.
210
00:12:24,300 --> 00:12:26,934
OH, IT'S YOU, DAISY.
HOW ARE YOU, DEAR?
211
00:12:26,934 --> 00:12:29,534
LISTEN, DAISY,
212
00:12:29,534 --> 00:12:33,234
TELL ONSLOW TO PUT
A SHIRT ON WHILE I'M
ON THE TELEPHONE.
213
00:12:35,234 --> 00:12:40,100
I CAN ALWAYS
SENSE HIM THERE-- EXPANDING.
214
00:12:41,501 --> 00:12:45,767
ONSLOW'S IN THE GARDEN?
DADDY'S GONE NATURIST?
215
00:12:45,767 --> 00:12:49,667
WELL, I THINK THAT'S
WONDERFUL AT HIS AGE.
216
00:12:49,667 --> 00:12:51,734
YES, ALL THAT WHOLESOME,
HEALTHY FOOD,
217
00:12:51,734 --> 00:12:54,067
PLENTY OF ROUGHAGE.
218
00:12:54,067 --> 00:12:58,000
ONSLOW'S TRYING TO GET
DADDY DOWN FROM WHERE?
219
00:12:58,000 --> 00:13:00,534
WELL, WHY WOULD DADDY
BE UP THERE?
220
00:13:00,534 --> 00:13:02,834
THAT KINDOF NATURIST.
221
00:13:02,834 --> 00:13:05,334
WELL, WHAT KIND
OF NATURIST IS HE?
222
00:13:05,334 --> 00:13:08,534
A STARK NATURIST?
223
00:13:08,534 --> 00:13:11,467
ONE MOMENT, HANG ON...
224
00:13:13,033 --> 00:13:15,267
SO GLAD
YOU COULD POP IN.
225
00:13:15,267 --> 00:13:17,801
WE MUST
DO THIS AGAIN
VERY SHORTLY.
226
00:13:18,801 --> 00:13:20,601
THAT WAS QUICKER
THAN I THOUGHT.
227
00:13:21,734 --> 00:13:24,200
I'VE STILL GOT
HER COFFEE.
228
00:13:25,200 --> 00:13:26,834
( doorbell rings )
229
00:13:28,367 --> 00:13:32,267
OH, THANK YOU, DEAR,
THAT'S VERY KIND OF YOU.
230
00:13:32,267 --> 00:13:35,601
MMM! MY FAVORITE
BRAND, TOO.
231
00:13:38,667 --> 00:13:40,033
( chuckling )
232
00:13:41,534 --> 00:13:43,167
( stomping on stairs )
233
00:13:46,067 --> 00:13:48,300
WHERE HAVE YOU
PUT FATHER?
234
00:13:48,300 --> 00:13:51,501
HE'S BACK IN HIS BED,
FAST ASLEEP.
235
00:13:51,501 --> 00:13:53,434
IS HE WEARING PAJAMAS?
236
00:13:53,434 --> 00:13:56,400
HE SAYS IT'S AGAINST
HIS CONVICTIONS.
237
00:13:56,400 --> 00:13:58,534
( TV plays )
238
00:14:00,767 --> 00:14:04,000
YOU'RE GREAT
IN A CRISIS, ONSLOW.
239
00:14:04,000 --> 00:14:06,100
WHAT CRISIS?
240
00:14:06,100 --> 00:14:08,367
HAVE WE RUN OUT
OF BEER?
241
00:14:11,767 --> 00:14:12,934
( sighs )
OH-HH.
242
00:14:12,934 --> 00:14:16,534
JUST NOW, YOU WERE
MAGNIFICENT.
243
00:14:16,534 --> 00:14:19,467
I COULD SEE YOU
IN FULL PROFILE
244
00:14:19,467 --> 00:14:22,300
AS YOU WENT PAST,
CARRYING FATHER.
245
00:14:23,467 --> 00:14:25,801
I HOPE YOU COULDN'T
SEE HIM IN FULL PROFILE.
246
00:14:26,834 --> 00:14:30,501
YOU WERE WONDERFUL,
ONSLOW.
247
00:14:30,501 --> 00:14:33,267
IT'S NOT THAT HE'S HEAVY.
IT'S JUST, WITHOUT
ANY CLOTHES ON,
248
00:14:33,267 --> 00:14:35,968
AT HIS AGE,
THERE'S NOT MUCH
TO GET AHOLD OF.
249
00:14:37,200 --> 00:14:39,901
AND YOU DID IT
ALL FOR ME.
250
00:14:39,901 --> 00:14:43,434
I WISH THERE WAS
SOME WAY I COULD
REPAY YOU.
251
00:14:47,133 --> 00:14:52,067
LISTEN, DAISY,
WHEN I PROMISED TO LOVE,
HONOR AND OBEY,
252
00:14:52,067 --> 00:14:55,067
EVERYTUESDAY.
253
00:14:59,167 --> 00:15:02,667
HOW LONG
HAS YOUR FATHER
BEEN A NATURIST?
254
00:15:02,667 --> 00:15:05,801
I THINK THERE
MUST BE SOME MISTAKE.
255
00:15:05,801 --> 00:15:08,601
DADDY'S ALWAYS
BEEN "C OF E."
256
00:15:10,334 --> 00:15:12,501
DO THEY TAKE
THEIR CLOTHES OFF?
257
00:15:15,200 --> 00:15:17,300
I THINK
IT'S A CRY
FOR HELP, DEAR.
258
00:15:17,300 --> 00:15:19,334
MIND THE LORRY.
259
00:15:19,334 --> 00:15:21,801
IT'S TURNING LEFT.
260
00:15:21,801 --> 00:15:24,100
AND THERE'S AN OLD LADY
ON THE PAVEMENT.
261
00:15:24,100 --> 00:15:27,367
AND I AM ON THE ROAD,
SO EVERYTHING IS
AS IT SHOULD BE.
262
00:15:44,467 --> 00:15:46,601
( car door closes )
263
00:15:55,100 --> 00:15:57,400
I WISH WE COULD HAVE
DADDY AT HOME,
264
00:15:57,400 --> 00:16:01,200
BUT HE DOES
SO MONOPOLIZE
THE BATHROOM.
265
00:16:10,467 --> 00:16:12,634
HOW CAN A PLACE
LOOK LIKE THIS
266
00:16:12,634 --> 00:16:15,834
50 YEARS
AFTER THE BLITZ?
267
00:16:30,767 --> 00:16:34,868
LEAVE IT,
LEAVE IT.
268
00:16:39,601 --> 00:16:41,133
( loud barking )
269
00:16:49,434 --> 00:16:51,701
GOOD DOG.
270
00:16:52,968 --> 00:16:55,100
( thumps )
271
00:16:55,100 --> 00:16:59,167
AS SOON AS I'M
QUITE SURE DADDY'S
GOT ALL HIS CLOTHES ON,
272
00:16:59,167 --> 00:17:01,267
WE MUST GO AND PRACTICE
OUR GOLF, RICHARD.
273
00:17:01,267 --> 00:17:03,901
CAN I ASK YOU
TO FACE A LITTLE
REALITY HERE?
274
00:17:03,901 --> 00:17:05,434
I'M TERRIBLE
AT GOLF.
275
00:17:05,434 --> 00:17:08,868
IT'S ALL RIGHT.
HE'S FINISHED
BEING A NATURIST.
276
00:17:08,868 --> 00:17:10,901
HE FELL IN
SOME NETTLES.
277
00:17:10,901 --> 00:17:13,000
MORNING.
278
00:17:15,033 --> 00:17:17,534
I SUPPOSE
I'D BETTER GO
AND PUT A COAT ON.
279
00:17:17,534 --> 00:17:19,868
NO, NO, NO,
STAY JUST AS YOU ARE.
280
00:17:21,601 --> 00:17:24,667
YOU MAKE
A VERY POWERFUL
FIRST IMPRESSION
281
00:17:24,667 --> 00:17:26,767
DRESSED LIKE THIS,
ONSLOW.
282
00:17:26,767 --> 00:17:30,000
I SHOULD LIKE YOU
TO DO ME A LITTLE FAVOR.
283
00:17:38,400 --> 00:17:40,701
YOU'RE LOOKING
VERY COLORFUL, RICHARD.
284
00:17:42,734 --> 00:17:46,467
IT'S PLAN "A"
WITH A TOUCH OF PLAN "C."
285
00:17:48,000 --> 00:17:50,467
OH. HYACINTH?
286
00:17:50,467 --> 00:17:54,067
- WHO ELSE?
- AHH.
287
00:17:59,667 --> 00:18:01,667
HELLO DEAR.
I'M AFRAID YOU'VE
JUST CAUGHT US
288
00:18:01,667 --> 00:18:04,133
OF GOLF.
289
00:18:04,133 --> 00:18:06,334
HERE YOU ARE,
DEAR.
290
00:18:08,434 --> 00:18:10,000
OH.
291
00:18:10,000 --> 00:18:12,334
I DIDN'T KNOW
YOU WERE SO KEEN,
HYACINTH.
292
00:18:12,334 --> 00:18:16,000
OH, YES, DEAR.
RICHARD'S PRACTICALLY
A FANATIC.
293
00:18:20,400 --> 00:18:23,868
COME ALONG, RICHARD.
WE WANT TO GET THROUGH
THE FULL 16 HOLES.
294
00:18:29,067 --> 00:18:30,934
THANK YOU, DEAR.
295
00:18:30,934 --> 00:18:32,934
HAVE A GOOD "CHUKKA."
296
00:18:38,167 --> 00:18:41,200
COME ALONG, RICHARD,
WE HAVEN'T GOT ALL DAY.
297
00:18:49,901 --> 00:18:54,000
NOW, TRY TO LOOK
AS IF WE'RE MEANT
TO BE HERE.
298
00:18:55,000 --> 00:18:57,667
YES, THIS
IS THE PLACE.
299
00:18:57,667 --> 00:18:59,300
FOR WHAT?
300
00:18:59,300 --> 00:19:02,667
THE PLACE WHERE
YOU WILL IMPRESS
MR. MILLBURN.
301
00:19:02,667 --> 00:19:04,634
HYACINTH, I'M NOT
FROSTICLE MATERIAL.
302
00:19:04,634 --> 00:19:06,734
I'LL NEVER MAKE
A FROSTICLE.
303
00:19:06,734 --> 00:19:09,801
RICHARD,
THE REFURBISHMENT
OF THE DINING ROOM
304
00:19:09,801 --> 00:19:12,801
IS DEPENDING
ON YOUR CAREER
AS A FROSTICLE.
305
00:19:12,801 --> 00:19:15,067
HERE.
306
00:19:21,868 --> 00:19:25,133
HYACINTH--
GOLFING DISASTER
THAT I AM,
307
00:19:25,133 --> 00:19:28,033
I DO KNOW THAT WE'RE
SUPPOSED TO KEEP OUT
OF THIS STUFF.
308
00:19:28,033 --> 00:19:30,801
THEY'LL THINK
WE'RE LOOKING
FOR A BALL.
309
00:19:30,801 --> 00:19:32,868
OH, WELL YES,
I CAN DO THAT.
310
00:19:32,868 --> 00:19:36,033
LOOKING FOR A BALL,
NOW YOU'RE TALKING MY GAME.
311
00:19:36,033 --> 00:19:38,133
AND IT WON'T REALLY
BE A LIE, DEAR,
312
00:19:38,133 --> 00:19:40,133
BECAUSE WE ARE
LOOKING FOR SOMETHING.
313
00:19:40,133 --> 00:19:41,767
WHAT?
314
00:19:43,400 --> 00:19:45,167
ONSLOW.
315
00:19:48,000 --> 00:19:52,734
YEAH, THIS IS ROUGHLY
WHERE YOUR HYACINTH SAID.
316
00:19:52,734 --> 00:19:54,834
AND SHE SAID,
"DON'T WEAR A SHIRT"?
317
00:19:54,834 --> 00:19:56,634
ARE YOU CERTAIN
SHE SAID THAT?
318
00:19:56,634 --> 00:19:58,767
THAT'S WHAT SHE SAID.
319
00:19:58,767 --> 00:20:01,701
I EXPECT SHE WANTS ME
CASUAL FOR GOLF.
320
00:20:01,701 --> 00:20:05,634
WHY WOULD SHE WANT YOU
AT ALL FOR GOLF?
321
00:20:05,634 --> 00:20:08,968
SHE KNOWS I HAVE
SPORTING INTERESTS.
322
00:20:08,968 --> 00:20:11,701
YOU WATCH RACING
ON TELLY.
323
00:20:11,701 --> 00:20:15,133
I DON'T JUST WATCH IT.
I PUT BETS ON.
324
00:20:15,133 --> 00:20:17,167
THAT'S NOT LIKE
OUR HYACINTH.
325
00:20:17,167 --> 00:20:19,834
SHE USUALLY
GOES SPARE WHEN YOU
DON'T WEAR A SHIRT.
326
00:20:19,834 --> 00:20:22,501
ALL I KNOW IS
SHE SAID THERE'D BE
327
00:20:22,501 --> 00:20:24,367
A MONTH'S SUPPLY
OF BEER AND CRISPS
IN IT.
328
00:20:24,367 --> 00:20:28,200
AND IF THINGS GO RIGHT,
AS MUCH FROZEN FOOD
AS WE CAN EAT.
329
00:20:29,501 --> 00:20:31,734
FROZEN FOOD?
330
00:20:31,734 --> 00:20:35,067
SHE'S BRIBING YOU
WITH FROZEN FOOD?
331
00:20:35,067 --> 00:20:36,868
WHAT'S SHE UP TO?
332
00:20:36,868 --> 00:20:40,767
ALL I HAVE TO DO
IS WAIT IN THE TREES
OVER THERE
333
00:20:40,767 --> 00:20:44,067
UNTIL SHE RAISES
HER CLUB IN THE AIR
AS A SIGNAL.
334
00:20:44,067 --> 00:20:46,601
THEN I HAVE
TO SHOW MYSELF.
335
00:20:46,601 --> 00:20:48,968
SHOW YOURSELF?
336
00:20:48,968 --> 00:20:51,934
JUST STAND ON THE EDGE
OF THE GOLF COURSE,
337
00:20:51,934 --> 00:20:54,067
LOOKING ALL MALE
AND MENACING.
338
00:20:54,067 --> 00:20:55,801
WHY?
339
00:20:55,801 --> 00:20:58,734
I DON'T KNOW WHY.
340
00:20:58,734 --> 00:21:00,167
BUT FOR A MONTH'S
SUPPLY OF BEER
341
00:21:00,167 --> 00:21:02,300
AND SMOKY BACON,
I DON'T CARE WHY.
342
00:21:04,033 --> 00:21:06,167
IT'S YOUR BODY.
343
00:21:06,167 --> 00:21:10,133
OUR HYACINTH IS
GETTING FASCINATED
WITH YOUR BODY. OOH!
344
00:21:10,133 --> 00:21:11,834
OH, NICE.
345
00:21:19,234 --> 00:21:22,033
WILL YOU KNOW THIS MILLBURN
WHEN YOU SEE HIM?
346
00:21:22,033 --> 00:21:25,167
HE WON'T NECESSARILY
BE COVERED IN ICICLES,
YOU KNOW.
347
00:21:25,167 --> 00:21:28,767
WELL, OF COURSE
I'LL KNOW HIM.
348
00:21:28,767 --> 00:21:31,200
I STOOD
VERY CLOSE TO HIM ONCE
AT THE RAILWAY STATION.
349
00:21:31,200 --> 00:21:35,601
OH, YOU KNOW HIM
THAT WELL?
350
00:21:35,601 --> 00:21:38,868
SO WHAT AM I
SUPPOSED TO DO
WHEN HE COMES?
351
00:21:38,868 --> 00:21:41,534
PLAN "A," DEAR,
REMEMBER?
352
00:21:41,534 --> 00:21:43,968
I SHALL GIVE
A SIGNAL TO ONSLOW,
353
00:21:43,968 --> 00:21:46,467
WHO WILL EMERGE
FROM THE BUSHES
354
00:21:46,467 --> 00:21:47,701
AND JUST
STAND THERE.
355
00:21:47,701 --> 00:21:50,567
THE MILLBURN PARTY
WILL ESPY HIM
356
00:21:50,567 --> 00:21:52,567
AND KNOW THAT HE'S
UP TO NO GOOD.
357
00:21:52,567 --> 00:21:54,701
HOW WILL THEY KNOW
HE'S UP TO NO GOOD?
358
00:21:54,701 --> 00:21:58,133
BECAUSE THAT'S THE IMPRESSION
ONSLOW ALWAYS MAKES.
359
00:21:59,834 --> 00:22:02,234
SO HE'S
STANDING THERE,
UP TO NO GOOD.
360
00:22:02,234 --> 00:22:06,167
THEN, I SHALL
SAY IN A VOICE
LOUD AND CLEAR,
361
00:22:06,167 --> 00:22:08,968
"RICHARD, WILL YOU
PLEASE DO SOMETHING
362
00:22:08,968 --> 00:22:11,734
ABOUT THAT SUSPICIOUS
LOOKING PERSON?"
363
00:22:11,734 --> 00:22:16,100
YOU WILL THEN WALK
TOWARDS ONSLOW...
364
00:22:17,100 --> 00:22:20,400
AND THROW HIM OUT.
365
00:22:22,767 --> 00:22:27,133
AND SO THE MILLBURNS
WILL BE BOWLED OVER
366
00:22:27,133 --> 00:22:29,133
BY YOUR EXECUTIVE
POTENTIAL.
367
00:22:30,300 --> 00:22:32,601
( laughing )
368
00:22:32,601 --> 00:22:35,033
YOUR HYACINTH,
SHE LOOKS
A RIGHT MUFFIN
369
00:22:35,033 --> 00:22:37,434
IN THAT
GOLFING GEAR.
370
00:22:41,100 --> 00:22:44,334
IT'S BEEN A LONG TIME
SINCE YOU BROUGHT ME
INTO THE WOODS, ONSLOW.
371
00:22:44,334 --> 00:22:46,634
NOW DON'T START
GETTING BROODY.
372
00:22:48,901 --> 00:22:51,167
FIRST WHIFF
OF LEAF MOLD
AND YOU'RE OFF.
373
00:22:52,300 --> 00:22:54,267
"ME, TARZAN;"
YOU USED TO SAY,
374
00:22:54,267 --> 00:22:57,834
"YOU, JANE." THEN YOU
USED TO BEAT YOUR CHEST AND
CHASE ME THROUGH THE WOODS.
375
00:22:57,834 --> 00:23:00,367
THAT WAS
ADOLESCENCE, DAISY.
376
00:23:00,367 --> 00:23:02,801
WE HAD
ONE-TRACK MINDS
IN THOSE DAYS.
377
00:23:02,801 --> 00:23:05,934
I WAS FULL
OF HORMONES.
378
00:23:05,934 --> 00:23:08,701
WE WASTED ALL
OUR EDUCATIONAL
OPPORTUNITIES.
379
00:23:10,033 --> 00:23:12,901
THE NUMBER
OF TIMES WE WENT
INTO THOSE WOODS...
380
00:23:14,234 --> 00:23:17,400
WE NEVER ONCE NOTICED
A SQUIRREL, DID WE?
381
00:23:20,067 --> 00:23:22,167
RICHARD,
HERE THEY COME.
382
00:23:22,167 --> 00:23:24,200
START LOOKING
EXECUTIVE.
383
00:23:25,667 --> 00:23:27,701
HE'S THE ONE
IN THE RED TROUSERS.
384
00:23:27,701 --> 00:23:31,000
I COULDN'T WORK
FOR ANYBODY WHO
WEARS RED TROUSERS.
385
00:23:31,000 --> 00:23:32,868
NOW, ON MY SIGNAL,
RICHARD.
386
00:23:35,100 --> 00:23:36,667
AHH!
387
00:23:56,434 --> 00:23:58,467
WHAT'S THE WOMAN
DOING?
388
00:23:58,467 --> 00:24:00,701
I'VE NEVER SEEN
ANYTHING LIKE IT.
389
00:24:07,334 --> 00:24:10,334
( yells )
FORE!
390
00:24:11,334 --> 00:24:13,634
ULP!
391
00:24:28,000 --> 00:24:31,300
( loudly )
RICHARD, I DON'T
LIKE THE LOOK
392
00:24:31,300 --> 00:24:33,367
OF THIS SUSPICIOUS
LOOKING PERSON.
393
00:24:33,367 --> 00:24:36,434
PLEASE GET RID
OF HIM.
394
00:24:43,100 --> 00:24:45,367
SUICIDE MISSION.
395
00:24:45,367 --> 00:24:47,434
I ADMIRE
THE FOOL'S NERVE.
396
00:24:47,434 --> 00:24:51,100
VERY RARE QUALITY THESE DAYS,
SUCH STUPIDITY.
397
00:25:03,934 --> 00:25:06,400
WELL DONE, MADMAN!
398
00:25:06,400 --> 00:25:09,701
PLEASE
PLAY THROUGH.
399
00:25:11,234 --> 00:25:14,767
THANK YOU, MADAM.
AND CONGRATULATIONS
TO YOUR HUSBAND.
400
00:25:14,767 --> 00:25:18,634
HE'S A DYNAMO TO HIS
FINGERTIPS, BLESS HIM.
401
00:25:18,634 --> 00:25:21,801
I'VE KNOW HIM THRUM AWAY
QUIETLY, EVEN IN REPOSE.
402
00:25:35,033 --> 00:25:38,667
YOU'VE DONE IT, DEAR,
THEY WERE IMPRESSED.
403
00:25:38,667 --> 00:25:41,601
- CAN WE GO HOME NOW?
- OF COURSE NOT, DEAR.
404
00:25:41,601 --> 00:25:43,534
WE FINISH THE ROUND
405
00:25:43,534 --> 00:25:45,501
AND THEN WE GET CHATTING
TO MR. MILLBURN
IN THE CLUB.
406
00:25:57,033 --> 00:25:58,701
- Man: OH, HEY!
- ( heckler whistling )
407
00:25:58,701 --> 00:26:02,601
STRIKES ME, MATE,
YOU NEED A BIGGER HOLE
OR SMALLER BALLS.
408
00:26:02,601 --> 00:26:06,300
COME ON, MATE, HURRY UP,
WE HAVEN'T GOT ALL DAY.
409
00:26:10,467 --> 00:26:13,334
OH--!
HE'S COMING
YOUR WAY.
410
00:26:13,334 --> 00:26:17,667
- WHO?
- DON'T LOOK NOW, RICHARD,
BUT I DO BELIEVE HE--
411
00:26:17,667 --> 00:26:20,467
YES, HE IS.
MR. MILLBURN'S COMING.
412
00:26:20,467 --> 00:26:23,634
HE'S GOING TO INVITE US
TO JOIN HIM. I TOLD YOU
YOU'D MADE AN IMPRESSION.
413
00:26:23,634 --> 00:26:26,334
I SAY,
WOULD YOU MIND?
414
00:26:26,334 --> 00:26:29,467
DO YOU THINK YOUR HUSBAND
COULD DO HIS STUFF AGAIN?
415
00:26:29,467 --> 00:26:32,100
WE'VE GOT A COUPLE
OF OFFENSIVE TYPES UP THERE,
416
00:26:32,100 --> 00:26:33,300
NEED TO BE TAUGHT
A LESSON.
417
00:26:33,300 --> 00:26:36,467
RICHARD,
HOW WONDERFUL!
418
00:26:36,467 --> 00:26:38,934
HE'S LEANING ON YOU
ALREADY, DEAR.
419
00:26:42,133 --> 00:26:44,801
OFF YOU GO THEN,
DEAR.
420
00:26:46,767 --> 00:26:49,501
GO ON.
421
00:26:49,501 --> 00:26:51,934
COME ON, HURRY UP.
LET'S SEE YOU
422
00:26:51,934 --> 00:26:54,133
GET THE LITTLE BALL
DOWN THE HOLE.
423
00:26:54,133 --> 00:26:57,400
I SHOULD WATCH YOUR STUFF,
THIS CHAP'S DYNAMITE.
424
00:26:57,400 --> 00:27:00,267
I'VE SEEN HIM
DEAL WITH BIGGER
LADS THAN YOU.
425
00:27:00,267 --> 00:27:02,968
OH YEAH?
426
00:27:06,334 --> 00:27:08,634
HE'S COMING.
427
00:27:23,334 --> 00:27:25,334
( whimpers )
428
00:27:31,067 --> 00:27:32,300
AHH!
429
00:27:34,567 --> 00:27:36,634
NOT SO GOOD
THIS TIME.
430
00:27:36,634 --> 00:27:38,000
( laughs )
431
00:27:39,300 --> 00:27:42,667
HELLO, MISSUS.
GOING "WALKIES"?
432
00:27:42,667 --> 00:27:44,133
( motorcycle whirrs )
433
00:27:44,133 --> 00:27:46,501
WANT TO PLAY GAMES,
DO YOU?
434
00:27:52,033 --> 00:27:56,067
MY GOD,
SHE'S MAGNIFICENT.
435
00:27:58,367 --> 00:28:00,934
RICHARD, RICHARD!
436
00:28:00,934 --> 00:28:04,400
I'VE BEEN OFFERED
A JOB WITH FROSTICLES.
437
00:28:05,701 --> 00:28:08,200
OH, TAKE IT, HYACINTH,
PLEASE.
438
00:28:08,200 --> 00:28:10,534
I COULDN'T
DO THAT, DEAR.
439
00:28:10,534 --> 00:28:12,734
YOU'D BE SO BORED
AT HOME WITHOUT ME.
440
00:28:12,734 --> 00:28:15,767
( weeping )
441
00:28:17,334 --> 00:28:19,767
( theme music playing )
0
00:00:0,500 --> 00:00:2,00
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