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1
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Starring James
Arness as Matt Dillon.
2
00:00:58,725 --> 00:00:59,920
Howdy.
3
00:01:00,060 --> 00:01:02,052
Howdy.
4
00:01:03,330 --> 00:01:05,322
Catch anything yet?
5
00:01:05,465 --> 00:01:06,660
No, not yet.
6
00:01:06,800 --> 00:01:09,531
I seen by the look on your
face you was just lazin' it,
7
00:01:09,670 --> 00:01:11,147
or I wouldn't have
come thrashing up on you
8
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the way I done.
9
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Yeah.
10
00:01:13,640 --> 00:01:15,575
Why don't you, uh...
11
00:01:15,709 --> 00:01:17,803
sit down and, uh, rest a spell?
12
00:01:17,945 --> 00:01:19,675
Thank you kindly.
Don't mind if I do.
13
00:01:23,183 --> 00:01:25,482
My name's Eliab
Haggen, what's your'n?
14
00:01:25,619 --> 00:01:27,315
I know a Haggen in Dodge.
15
00:01:27,454 --> 00:01:28,979
Name of Festus?
16
00:01:29,122 --> 00:01:30,351
Yeah.
17
00:01:30,490 --> 00:01:31,685
I'll bet he's kin of yours.
18
00:01:31,825 --> 00:01:34,852
Uncle Festus, brother to
my daddy, Zetham Haggen.
19
00:01:34,995 --> 00:01:36,987
I knowed I was gettin'
close to finding him.
20
00:01:38,632 --> 00:01:40,828
That's how come
I got my foot bent.
21
00:01:40,968 --> 00:01:43,164
Well, uh, how would getting
close to your Uncle Festus
22
00:01:43,303 --> 00:01:44,498
get your foot bent?
23
00:01:44,638 --> 00:01:46,834
It was the grouse
hen that done it.
24
00:01:46,974 --> 00:01:48,169
Grouse hen?
25
00:01:48,308 --> 00:01:50,368
Uncle Festus is
partial to grouse hen
26
00:01:50,510 --> 00:01:52,035
cooked Haggen-style.
27
00:01:52,179 --> 00:01:53,272
I knowed I was close,
28
00:01:53,413 --> 00:01:55,405
but didn't know if I
was close enough.
29
00:01:57,384 --> 00:01:58,716
Close enough for what?
30
00:01:58,852 --> 00:02:00,480
Close enough to keep
a killed grouse hen
31
00:02:00,621 --> 00:02:02,214
from going bad
in this hot weather.
32
00:02:02,356 --> 00:02:03,984
So I had to run her down.
33
00:02:04,124 --> 00:02:05,558
- You mean on foot?
- Yeah.
34
00:02:05,692 --> 00:02:07,217
She run straight for a spell,
35
00:02:07,361 --> 00:02:09,921
but when she got tuckered
out, she took to trickin'.
36
00:02:10,063 --> 00:02:11,983
And just when I reached
for her, she done a dido,
37
00:02:12,099 --> 00:02:13,459
and that's when I
got my foot bent.
38
00:02:13,500 --> 00:02:14,695
Did you catch her?
39
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All but some feathers.
40
00:02:21,108 --> 00:02:22,701
Well...
41
00:02:22,843 --> 00:02:24,675
you must be right
fond of your uncle
42
00:02:24,811 --> 00:02:27,371
to chase a grouse hen like
this all across the prairie.
43
00:02:27,514 --> 00:02:30,143
The good King David couldn't
have been a better uncle.
44
00:02:30,283 --> 00:02:33,219
Well, he give me my very
first shootin' iron, Festus did.
45
00:02:34,554 --> 00:02:35,749
How's his health?
46
00:02:35,889 --> 00:02:36,982
Oh, fine.
47
00:02:37,124 --> 00:02:38,568
If there's one thing
your Uncle Festus
48
00:02:38,592 --> 00:02:40,356
has got a lot of, it's health.
49
00:02:40,494 --> 00:02:42,326
Haggens generally
run to good health.
50
00:02:42,462 --> 00:02:45,523
Why, far as I know, there's
only been one sickly Haggen.
51
00:02:45,666 --> 00:02:46,531
Oh?
52
00:02:46,667 --> 00:02:48,101
Half Cousin Ace.
53
00:02:48,235 --> 00:02:50,761
Oh, well, just a half cousin.
54
00:02:50,904 --> 00:02:52,532
Yeah, and poor
old half cousin Ace
55
00:02:52,673 --> 00:02:54,665
has been sickly
for nearly 70 years.
56
00:02:56,376 --> 00:02:58,345
Has Uncle Festus
still got his right ear on?
57
00:02:58,478 --> 00:02:59,343
Have some.
58
00:02:59,479 --> 00:03:01,277
Uh, no, thank you.
59
00:03:01,415 --> 00:03:02,747
What'd you say about his ear?
60
00:03:02,883 --> 00:03:04,181
Has he still got it on?
61
00:03:04,317 --> 00:03:05,478
Well, as far as I know.
62
00:03:05,619 --> 00:03:07,230
Is there supposed to be
something the matter with it?
63
00:03:07,254 --> 00:03:09,018
Oh, I do hope not.
64
00:03:09,156 --> 00:03:11,682
Well, don't you think that's
kind of a funny thing to ask?
65
00:03:11,825 --> 00:03:12,918
Well, I expect it is.
66
00:03:13,060 --> 00:03:14,060
It's just that...
67
00:03:14,161 --> 00:03:16,062
well, I come all this
way to shoot it off.
68
00:03:16,196 --> 00:03:18,062
Shoot it off?
69
00:03:18,198 --> 00:03:20,599
Well, that ain't the
whole truth of it.
70
00:03:20,734 --> 00:03:22,293
Well, I didn't think so.
71
00:03:22,436 --> 00:03:23,631
Truth of it is,
72
00:03:23,770 --> 00:03:26,296
I'm just gonna knock off
this little hangy-down part.
73
00:03:26,440 --> 00:03:28,705
- Why?
- Why?
74
00:03:28,842 --> 00:03:30,003
I mean, why are you gonna
75
00:03:30,143 --> 00:03:32,078
shoot off the little
hangy-down part?
76
00:03:32,212 --> 00:03:35,080
'Cause I was
gonna do it all along.
77
00:03:35,215 --> 00:03:36,979
I know, but why?
78
00:03:38,185 --> 00:03:39,778
Well, how'd you
like to go through life
79
00:03:39,920 --> 00:03:41,440
seeing your daddy
hoorahed all the time
80
00:03:41,555 --> 00:03:44,855
'cause he didn't have no little
hangy-down part on his ear?
81
00:03:44,991 --> 00:03:46,791
Oh, you mean your Uncle
Festus did the same...
82
00:03:46,893 --> 00:03:49,089
Bit it slap off in
a fight over a gal.
83
00:03:49,229 --> 00:03:50,720
And she turned out
to be your mother.
84
00:03:50,864 --> 00:03:52,730
No, she married Uncle Obadiah.
85
00:03:52,866 --> 00:03:54,129
Yeah.
86
00:03:54,267 --> 00:03:56,964
Well, this is, uh, one
reunion I don't want to miss.
87
00:03:57,104 --> 00:03:59,596
I'll tell you what, uh... here.
88
00:03:59,740 --> 00:04:02,209
Why don't we, uh,
ride into Dodge together
89
00:04:02,342 --> 00:04:04,038
and I'll have, uh, Doc Adams
90
00:04:04,177 --> 00:04:05,377
take a look at your bent foot.
91
00:04:05,512 --> 00:04:07,504
All right.
92
00:04:14,421 --> 00:04:15,889
Wait a minute, I'll help you up.
93
00:04:18,391 --> 00:04:19,859
If I'd bent the other foot,
94
00:04:19,993 --> 00:04:22,087
or if old Dink'd allow
mounting on his off side,
95
00:04:22,229 --> 00:04:24,892
I'd be better off, wouldn't I?
96
00:04:25,031 --> 00:04:26,031
There you go.
97
00:04:28,235 --> 00:04:29,931
Thank you.
98
00:04:30,070 --> 00:04:32,005
How come you left the
heads on these pelts?
99
00:04:32,139 --> 00:04:33,937
Well, back where I come from,
100
00:04:34,074 --> 00:04:37,010
there's folks that hunts with
traps and them that don't.
101
00:04:37,144 --> 00:04:38,704
And them that don't
leaves the heads on.
102
00:04:38,812 --> 00:04:41,475
Yeah, I... see what you mean.
103
00:04:41,615 --> 00:04:44,312
Traps is uncertain
and cruel and...
104
00:04:44,451 --> 00:04:47,421
I don't like for
varmints to suffer.
105
00:05:04,404 --> 00:05:06,100
♪ You can't lodge in Dodge ♪
106
00:05:06,239 --> 00:05:09,073
♪ 'Cause the howling
wind'll blow you free ♪
107
00:05:09,209 --> 00:05:12,179
♪ In the air you'll
be just like a flea ♪
108
00:05:12,312 --> 00:05:14,679
♪ Hoppin' alone on
the wide prairie. ♪
109
00:05:14,815 --> 00:05:16,909
- I just made that up.
- Hmm.
110
00:05:17,050 --> 00:05:19,884
Uncle Festus is real
fond of made-up songs.
111
00:05:20,020 --> 00:05:23,218
Well, he ought to be
real fond of that one, then.
112
00:05:23,356 --> 00:05:26,520
♪ Just ridin' along on
the hot white sand... ♪
113
00:05:26,660 --> 00:05:28,993
You never did tell me your name.
114
00:05:29,129 --> 00:05:30,358
Uh, Quint.
115
00:05:30,497 --> 00:05:33,160
♪ Just ridin' along,
me and Quint ♪
116
00:05:33,300 --> 00:05:35,929
♪ Hot white sand and
we never seen a fence ♪
117
00:05:36,069 --> 00:05:38,402
♪ A-ridin' along,
free and restless ♪
118
00:05:38,538 --> 00:05:40,769
♪ Can't wait to see
my Uncle Festus ♪
119
00:05:52,018 --> 00:05:54,852
Well, now, I'll just call that.
120
00:05:57,891 --> 00:05:59,883
Three little deuces.
121
00:06:02,996 --> 00:06:04,794
Three ones.
122
00:06:08,301 --> 00:06:11,203
What do you have to
do to win around here?
123
00:06:11,338 --> 00:06:13,898
Golly Bill, them's
the purtiest boots
124
00:06:14,040 --> 00:06:16,202
I've ever laid eyeballs on.
125
00:06:16,343 --> 00:06:19,370
I told you before
about these boots.
126
00:06:19,512 --> 00:06:22,573
Ain't another pair like
this in the whole territory.
127
00:06:22,716 --> 00:06:25,584
How much did they cost?
128
00:06:25,719 --> 00:06:28,484
Eighty-five dollars.
129
00:06:28,622 --> 00:06:31,319
And that's real silver.
130
00:06:32,559 --> 00:06:34,892
I got pert near $300 here.
131
00:06:37,330 --> 00:06:41,324
You'd put up $300
for a pair of boots?
132
00:06:41,468 --> 00:06:44,700
That's what I've
been trying to tell you.
133
00:06:47,841 --> 00:06:50,436
All right, cowboy.
134
00:06:50,577 --> 00:06:52,102
You asked for it.
135
00:06:52,245 --> 00:06:54,237
Whoop, whoop, whoop, whoop.
136
00:06:56,182 --> 00:06:58,617
You're shy in the
pot, Mr. Gambler.
137
00:07:20,807 --> 00:07:22,742
Whoo, whoo, whoop, now.
138
00:07:22,876 --> 00:07:25,038
How about a friendly little cut?
139
00:07:25,178 --> 00:07:27,670
Come on, let's get this
private hand over with, huh?
140
00:07:27,814 --> 00:07:29,646
So we can get on with the game.
141
00:07:41,361 --> 00:07:43,921
Cut 'em deep,
sleep, in the street
142
00:07:44,064 --> 00:07:46,295
with bare feet.
143
00:07:46,433 --> 00:07:47,992
Now go ahead on.
144
00:08:02,949 --> 00:08:05,077
How long's Festus
been in that game?
145
00:08:05,218 --> 00:08:07,187
Oh, ever since he got a
look at those fancy boots
146
00:08:07,320 --> 00:08:08,811
that new dealer's been wearing.
147
00:08:08,955 --> 00:08:11,686
Here, put this
behind the bar for me.
148
00:08:11,825 --> 00:08:13,691
Uh, Miss Kitty...
149
00:08:13,827 --> 00:08:16,422
is there something wrong
with Festus being in the game?
150
00:08:16,563 --> 00:08:18,191
Well, that depends on how long
151
00:08:18,331 --> 00:08:20,323
he wants to stay out
of Pearl Winton's sight.
152
00:08:20,467 --> 00:08:22,459
She's waitin' outside for him.
153
00:08:27,907 --> 00:08:30,706
Can you beat three queens?
154
00:08:30,844 --> 00:08:32,710
No, I can't.
155
00:08:32,846 --> 00:08:35,782
But this here batch
of puppy tracks can.
156
00:08:36,816 --> 00:08:38,751
I knowed you was
readin' me wrong
157
00:08:38,885 --> 00:08:40,285
when you called me "cowboy."
158
00:08:42,055 --> 00:08:44,354
♪ Oh, I had a little hen ♪
159
00:08:44,491 --> 00:08:45,731
♪ And she had a little egg... ♪
160
00:08:45,825 --> 00:08:48,090
Now, just where do
you think you're going?
161
00:08:48,228 --> 00:08:50,925
Well, I was fixin' to
go out them doors.
162
00:08:51,064 --> 00:08:51,929
Why?
163
00:08:52,065 --> 00:08:53,761
Yeah?
164
00:08:53,900 --> 00:08:55,835
Well, you're not
quittin' winners.
165
00:08:55,969 --> 00:08:59,565
Now, if you're a-fixin'
to write up new rules,
166
00:08:59,706 --> 00:09:02,005
it can't be did by mouth.
167
00:09:04,411 --> 00:09:06,471
Deal 'em.
168
00:09:08,782 --> 00:09:11,251
♪ She laid three eggs
in the mulberry bush ♪
169
00:09:11,384 --> 00:09:13,376
- ♪ She's the best dang hen... ♪
- Deal 'em!
170
00:09:15,288 --> 00:09:17,223
Well, looks like
you had a good day.
171
00:09:17,357 --> 00:09:18,552
So far.
172
00:09:18,691 --> 00:09:20,557
Have you ever saw anything
173
00:09:20,693 --> 00:09:23,253
as purty as them in
all your born days?
174
00:09:23,396 --> 00:09:24,728
Why don't you put 'em on?
175
00:09:24,864 --> 00:09:27,493
Oh, I can't put 'em
on with these old duds.
176
00:09:27,634 --> 00:09:29,762
I was fixin' to go home
and get all duded up
177
00:09:29,903 --> 00:09:31,064
and come back directly.
178
00:09:31,204 --> 00:09:33,298
Say, Sam, could you
wrap them up for me?
179
00:09:33,440 --> 00:09:35,170
- Sure.
- Much obliged.
180
00:09:35,308 --> 00:09:38,767
How much did you
put up for those boots?
181
00:09:38,912 --> 00:09:42,644
$300, but it wasn't
none of it mine.
182
00:09:45,618 --> 00:09:47,246
You know something
else, Miss Kitty,
183
00:09:47,387 --> 00:09:52,189
if you're fixin' on making
a profit in this saloon...
184
00:09:52,325 --> 00:09:54,191
I'd sure think once or twice
185
00:09:54,327 --> 00:09:56,626
whether I wanted to keep
that new dealer or not.
186
00:09:56,763 --> 00:09:58,994
Thank you very much.
187
00:09:59,132 --> 00:10:00,191
There you are.
188
00:10:00,333 --> 00:10:01,494
Much obliged, Sam.
189
00:10:01,634 --> 00:10:03,626
See y'all directly.
190
00:10:05,839 --> 00:10:07,239
♪ Best dang hen... ♪
191
00:10:07,373 --> 00:10:09,365
Hi, Festus, honey.
192
00:10:20,854 --> 00:10:23,551
Why didn't you tell me
she was out yonder?
193
00:10:23,690 --> 00:10:25,921
What's so wrong with
the Widow Winton?
194
00:10:26,059 --> 00:10:27,391
Well, for one thing,
195
00:10:27,527 --> 00:10:30,656
she's tall enough to
hunt geese with a rake.
196
00:10:30,797 --> 00:10:32,231
She could, for a fact,
197
00:10:32,365 --> 00:10:33,993
just haul you right
off to the preacher.
198
00:10:34,134 --> 00:10:35,625
I wonder why she
hasn't done that.
199
00:10:35,768 --> 00:10:37,634
As soon as she finds him a job,
200
00:10:37,770 --> 00:10:39,102
that's just what she will do.
201
00:10:41,441 --> 00:10:44,001
It's just a matter of time.
202
00:10:44,144 --> 00:10:46,841
It's a matter of a
whole bunch of time,
203
00:10:46,980 --> 00:10:48,312
I'll tell you that.
204
00:11:13,873 --> 00:11:15,603
Hi there, Festus, honey.
205
00:11:15,742 --> 00:11:17,210
What you got under your arm?
206
00:11:17,343 --> 00:11:19,744
Golly Bill, you're
gonna have to quit
207
00:11:19,879 --> 00:11:21,245
following me around,
208
00:11:21,381 --> 00:11:23,179
- Pearl Winton.
- Why?
209
00:11:23,316 --> 00:11:26,081
Well, because it just
ain't decent, that's why.
210
00:11:26,219 --> 00:11:28,085
Well, I was only
asking you to dinner.
211
00:11:28,221 --> 00:11:30,019
I'm cooking up some ham hocks
212
00:11:30,156 --> 00:11:31,522
and mustard greens.
213
00:11:31,658 --> 00:11:32,658
Yeah.
214
00:11:32,692 --> 00:11:33,921
Who else you inviting?
215
00:11:34,060 --> 00:11:35,289
A preacher maybe?
216
00:11:35,428 --> 00:11:37,920
Oh, goodness, no, Festus, honey.
217
00:11:38,064 --> 00:11:40,033
I ain't found you
suitable work as yet.
218
00:11:40,166 --> 00:11:41,930
I don't want no work,
219
00:11:42,068 --> 00:11:44,435
suitable kind nor
any other kind.
220
00:11:44,571 --> 00:11:47,939
That's 'cause you ain't et
none of my ham hocks as yet.
221
00:11:48,074 --> 00:11:49,633
You leave go of me.
222
00:11:49,776 --> 00:11:52,177
I was thinking
that we just might
223
00:11:52,312 --> 00:11:54,281
- take a wee walk...
- Well, you can just
224
00:11:54,414 --> 00:11:55,891
- start thinking again.
- And we might just
225
00:11:55,915 --> 00:11:57,406
- go down by the...
- I ain't going.
226
00:11:57,550 --> 00:12:00,042
'cause I heard tell there's
a job of work down there...
227
00:12:09,963 --> 00:12:11,955
♪♪
228
00:12:31,184 --> 00:12:32,482
Get over, Red.
229
00:12:32,619 --> 00:12:33,780
Go on, I'll, uh...
230
00:12:33,920 --> 00:12:35,354
give you a hand up to Doc's.
231
00:12:35,488 --> 00:12:37,218
I ain't going up them stairs.
232
00:12:37,357 --> 00:12:38,416
Oh, you ain't, huh?
233
00:12:38,558 --> 00:12:39,924
No.
234
00:12:40,059 --> 00:12:42,494
Well, don't you want Doc to
take a look at your bent foot?
235
00:12:42,629 --> 00:12:44,689
Well, who'd watch my pelts?
236
00:12:45,832 --> 00:12:46,891
I don't know, Eliab.
237
00:12:47,033 --> 00:12:48,695
Well, you just have
to tell that doctor
238
00:12:48,835 --> 00:12:50,064
to come down here.
239
00:12:50,203 --> 00:12:53,332
Well, I don't think you
understand about this doc.
240
00:12:53,473 --> 00:12:55,942
Well, it seems a
heap easier to me
241
00:12:56,075 --> 00:12:57,509
to get that doctor down here
242
00:12:57,644 --> 00:12:59,670
than to get old Dink up there.
243
00:12:59,812 --> 00:13:01,804
All right.
244
00:13:10,123 --> 00:13:11,386
Howdy!
245
00:13:16,262 --> 00:13:18,254
Come in.
246
00:13:19,299 --> 00:13:20,164
Oh, hi, Quint.
247
00:13:20,300 --> 00:13:22,292
Hello, Doc.
248
00:13:25,838 --> 00:13:27,306
Well, you... just
gonna stand there
249
00:13:27,440 --> 00:13:28,635
and let the flies out?
250
00:13:28,775 --> 00:13:30,073
Come in.
251
00:13:30,209 --> 00:13:31,302
I got a patient for you.
252
00:13:31,444 --> 00:13:32,444
Oh.
253
00:13:33,780 --> 00:13:35,874
Well, he's not
exactly a patient,
254
00:13:36,015 --> 00:13:37,347
he's a... he's a Haggen.
255
00:13:37,483 --> 00:13:39,475
- He's a Haggen, huh?
- Mm-hmm.
256
00:13:43,356 --> 00:13:45,154
Well, where is
he? In your pocket?
257
00:13:45,291 --> 00:13:48,022
No, he's, uh... down at
the bottom of the stairs.
258
00:13:48,161 --> 00:13:50,130
He, uh... doesn't
want to leave his mule.
259
00:13:50,263 --> 00:13:52,129
I mean his hides.
260
00:13:52,265 --> 00:13:55,360
Well, he... doesn't
want to leave his hides?
261
00:13:55,501 --> 00:13:57,493
No.
262
00:13:58,504 --> 00:14:00,530
You sure you feel all right?
263
00:14:00,673 --> 00:14:02,141
Oh, I feel fine.
264
00:14:02,275 --> 00:14:05,040
Do you mean to tell me
that you and Festus think
265
00:14:05,178 --> 00:14:07,138
that I'm gonna come
down at the foot of the stairs
266
00:14:07,180 --> 00:14:08,724
and practice medicine
in the middle of the street
267
00:14:08,748 --> 00:14:10,683
like some Gypsy tin-bender?
268
00:14:10,817 --> 00:14:12,046
I don't, Doc.
269
00:14:12,185 --> 00:14:13,050
He does.
270
00:14:13,186 --> 00:14:14,848
Who does?
271
00:14:14,987 --> 00:14:18,082
That Haggen down at
the bottom of the stairs.
272
00:14:18,224 --> 00:14:21,217
Only that Haggen is not Festus.
273
00:14:21,361 --> 00:14:23,057
Oh, it's not Festus?
274
00:14:23,196 --> 00:14:24,196
Nope.
275
00:14:24,297 --> 00:14:26,664
This Haggen is,
uh... Eliab Haggen,
276
00:14:26,799 --> 00:14:28,665
who's the son of Zetham Haggen,
277
00:14:28,801 --> 00:14:30,292
who's the brother
of Festus Haggen,
278
00:14:30,436 --> 00:14:31,747
and then they also
have another brother
279
00:14:31,771 --> 00:14:33,069
by the name of Obadiah.
280
00:14:33,206 --> 00:14:34,538
Not to mention a half cousin
281
00:14:34,674 --> 00:14:36,973
who's over 70
and kind of sickly.
282
00:14:37,110 --> 00:14:40,137
And he's come here
to shoot Festus' ear off.
283
00:14:41,614 --> 00:14:42,479
Who did?
284
00:14:42,615 --> 00:14:44,243
Eliab has.
285
00:14:44,384 --> 00:14:46,580
What, to shoot Festus' ear off?
286
00:14:46,719 --> 00:14:50,554
Just the little hangy-down part.
287
00:14:52,325 --> 00:14:54,525
Well, I haven't the faintest
idea what's wrong with him,
288
00:14:54,594 --> 00:14:55,904
but it's contagious,
whatever it is,
289
00:14:55,928 --> 00:14:57,089
'cause you've got it.
290
00:14:57,230 --> 00:14:59,722
What he's got,
Doc, is a bent foot.
291
00:15:06,305 --> 00:15:08,865
Would you mind giving
me that diagnosis again?
292
00:15:09,008 --> 00:15:10,101
Bent foot.
293
00:15:10,243 --> 00:15:12,508
His foot is... bent?
294
00:15:12,645 --> 00:15:14,011
Yeah.
295
00:15:14,147 --> 00:15:15,843
See, he was chasing
this grouse hen,
296
00:15:15,982 --> 00:15:18,349
and everything was
going along just fine.
297
00:15:18,484 --> 00:15:19,508
Then it took to trickin'.
298
00:15:19,652 --> 00:15:21,644
Just... never mind.
299
00:15:28,327 --> 00:15:30,038
I think you ought to go
take a look at him, Doc.
300
00:15:30,062 --> 00:15:32,031
You can't be serious
about me coming down...
301
00:15:32,165 --> 00:15:34,134
I am serious, Doc,
and I think he is, too.
302
00:15:34,267 --> 00:15:35,267
Yeah, about a bent foot.
303
00:15:35,401 --> 00:15:37,734
No, about shooting
Festus' ear off.
304
00:15:37,870 --> 00:15:40,430
The "little hangy-down part."
305
00:15:40,573 --> 00:15:41,939
Doc, he's a Haggen.
306
00:15:42,074 --> 00:15:44,043
Now, what would you
do if Festus told you
307
00:15:44,177 --> 00:15:46,373
he was gonna shoot your ear off?
308
00:15:46,512 --> 00:15:48,344
Then I think I'd believe him.
309
00:15:48,481 --> 00:15:50,382
Well, that's what I mean.
310
00:15:50,516 --> 00:15:52,156
I think you ought to
go take a look at him
311
00:15:52,218 --> 00:15:54,229
and I'm gonna go tell Matt
what's going on around here.
312
00:15:54,253 --> 00:15:56,085
Well, if you weren't so
doggone busy fishing,
313
00:15:56,222 --> 00:15:58,350
you'd know Matt's out of town.
314
00:15:58,491 --> 00:15:59,356
He's what?
315
00:15:59,492 --> 00:16:00,492
He's out of town.
316
00:16:00,626 --> 00:16:02,219
What the devil's he
doing out of town?
317
00:16:02,361 --> 00:16:04,387
Well, he had to go
identify a body in Abilene.
318
00:16:04,530 --> 00:16:06,811
He kind of figured on you
taking charge while he was gone.
319
00:16:06,866 --> 00:16:07,925
Me?
320
00:16:08,067 --> 00:16:09,399
Yes, you.
321
00:16:09,535 --> 00:16:11,775
Of course, I realize that'll
interfere with your fishing!
322
00:16:21,647 --> 00:16:24,446
Well, he must've gone over
to Moss Grimmick's stable.
323
00:16:26,319 --> 00:16:28,311
Come on, Doc.
324
00:16:41,133 --> 00:16:42,157
Howdy, Quint!
325
00:16:42,301 --> 00:16:43,769
Hello, Eliab.
326
00:16:43,903 --> 00:16:44,903
This is Doc Adams.
327
00:16:44,937 --> 00:16:46,838
Uh, Doc, this
is... this is Eliab.
328
00:16:46,973 --> 00:16:48,032
Howdy, Doc Adams.
329
00:16:48,174 --> 00:16:50,939
Hi, Eliab. Bent your foot, huh?
330
00:16:51,077 --> 00:16:53,774
Well, sit down there and
let me have a look at it.
331
00:16:53,913 --> 00:16:55,404
It's just a tweak.
332
00:16:55,548 --> 00:16:57,983
Better let me have that
bird, there, uh, Eliab.
333
00:16:58,117 --> 00:16:59,117
All right.
334
00:17:00,553 --> 00:17:01,418
Does that hurt?
335
00:17:01,554 --> 00:17:02,554
Yes, sir.
336
00:17:02,688 --> 00:17:03,968
Be careful and don't bruise her.
337
00:17:04,023 --> 00:17:05,548
Well, here you are, Hank.
338
00:17:05,691 --> 00:17:06,768
Careful; it's real precious.
339
00:17:06,792 --> 00:17:08,124
I'll put her in the feed bin.
340
00:17:08,261 --> 00:17:10,526
All right. Better give
her a little water, too.
341
00:17:10,663 --> 00:17:13,258
I'm gonna go see how our
friend with all the troubles is doing.
342
00:17:13,399 --> 00:17:15,163
- Yeah, do that.
- If you see Uncle Festus,
343
00:17:15,301 --> 00:17:16,612
tell him I'm stayin'
the night here
344
00:17:16,636 --> 00:17:17,763
and come by and see me.
345
00:17:17,904 --> 00:17:19,896
Yeah, I'll give him
that message, Eliab.
346
00:17:23,676 --> 00:17:26,043
♪ Oh, left my girl
on the mountain ♪
347
00:17:26,178 --> 00:17:27,840
♪ Left her standing
in the rain ♪
348
00:17:27,980 --> 00:17:29,710
Oh! Hold your foot still, there.
349
00:17:29,849 --> 00:17:31,477
♪ I went down to the depot ♪
350
00:17:31,617 --> 00:17:33,279
♪ Caught myself
a midnight train ♪
351
00:17:33,419 --> 00:17:35,945
Uncle Festus is real
fond of made-up songs.
352
00:17:38,024 --> 00:17:39,322
Well, I think he's, uh,
353
00:17:39,458 --> 00:17:41,290
kind of fond of his ears, too.
354
00:17:41,427 --> 00:17:43,259
Well, so was my daddy.
355
00:17:43,396 --> 00:17:45,126
Hmm.
356
00:17:45,264 --> 00:17:47,563
All right, Eliab.
357
00:17:47,700 --> 00:17:50,568
That's about all
I can do for this.
358
00:17:50,703 --> 00:17:53,832
So I want you to stay
off of it till tomorrow.
359
00:17:53,973 --> 00:17:55,942
Then I'll come by
and have a look at it.
360
00:17:56,075 --> 00:17:57,873
Well, thank you
kindly, Doc Adams.
361
00:17:58,010 --> 00:17:59,740
I'll pay you soon
as I get my money
362
00:17:59,879 --> 00:18:02,246
- for these here pelts.
- Oh, never...
363
00:18:02,381 --> 00:18:05,541
Say... Say, fine-looking furs.
364
00:18:06,886 --> 00:18:07,945
Oh, for heaven's sakes.
365
00:18:08,087 --> 00:18:09,111
Right between the eyes.
366
00:18:09,255 --> 00:18:10,723
I always do that.
367
00:18:10,856 --> 00:18:12,757
Seem like they
suffer less that way.
368
00:18:12,892 --> 00:18:14,622
How far were you
away from that animal
369
00:18:14,760 --> 00:18:15,625
when you shot him?
370
00:18:15,761 --> 00:18:17,229
Oh, that'un?
371
00:18:17,363 --> 00:18:18,558
He was up real close.
372
00:18:18,698 --> 00:18:21,465
Near as I recollect,
I figured him for...
373
00:18:21,601 --> 00:18:23,627
no more than 175 yards.
374
00:18:23,769 --> 00:18:25,635
But now, you take
this martin here.
375
00:18:25,771 --> 00:18:27,569
He's half again
as far and moving.
376
00:18:30,376 --> 00:18:33,574
♪ Well, I left my girl
on the mountain ♪
377
00:18:33,713 --> 00:18:35,409
♪ Left her standing
in the snow ♪
378
00:18:35,548 --> 00:18:37,847
♪ I'll see you, Doc Adams ♪
379
00:18:37,984 --> 00:18:39,509
♪ I know you got to go ♪
380
00:18:43,489 --> 00:18:44,633
Well, not any
more it isn't, Kitty.
381
00:18:44,657 --> 00:18:48,091
Listen, I met a
fella today... Quint!
382
00:18:48,227 --> 00:18:50,321
When'd you get back in town?
383
00:18:50,463 --> 00:18:52,625
I was just this minute
thinking about you.
384
00:18:52,765 --> 00:18:54,042
- I'll be you were.
- You old scudder,
385
00:18:54,066 --> 00:18:55,864
you're a sight for sore eyes.
386
00:18:56,002 --> 00:18:58,096
Speaking of sore eyes...
387
00:18:58,237 --> 00:18:59,967
you got yourself
all slickered up.
388
00:19:00,106 --> 00:19:01,472
You going out on a last fling?
389
00:19:01,607 --> 00:19:04,509
Miss Kitty, for a lady
as purty as you are,
390
00:19:04,644 --> 00:19:07,978
you sure got a powerful
mean streak in you.
391
00:19:09,982 --> 00:19:11,917
Now, oh lasting friend,
392
00:19:12,051 --> 00:19:13,417
I want to ask you something.
393
00:19:13,552 --> 00:19:14,576
All right.
394
00:19:14,720 --> 00:19:16,064
You still got your
forge, ain't you?
395
00:19:16,088 --> 00:19:16,953
Yeah, I still got it.
396
00:19:17,089 --> 00:19:18,648
And when the work's a-coming in,
397
00:19:18,791 --> 00:19:21,022
why, you make a
right good living and...
398
00:19:21,160 --> 00:19:23,356
Mm-hmm. You asking
me for a job, Festus?
399
00:19:23,496 --> 00:19:25,465
Smart aleck. Of course not.
400
00:19:25,598 --> 00:19:26,798
Well, what are you getting at?
401
00:19:26,866 --> 00:19:29,097
Well, I-I just been a-thinking.
402
00:19:29,235 --> 00:19:30,897
Now, a hard-working young buck,
403
00:19:31,037 --> 00:19:32,801
- a feller like you...
- Mmm...
404
00:19:32,938 --> 00:19:35,635
ought to have somebody
to kind of make sure
405
00:19:35,775 --> 00:19:37,403
that he gets the proper vittles
406
00:19:37,543 --> 00:19:38,704
And makes the bed.
407
00:19:38,844 --> 00:19:40,122
- Does the chore...
- So you figure you'd shove
408
00:19:40,146 --> 00:19:41,623
the Widow Winton
off on me, didn't you,
409
00:19:41,647 --> 00:19:43,707
oh everlasting friend?
410
00:19:45,017 --> 00:19:47,009
You went and tattled on me
411
00:19:47,153 --> 00:19:48,985
and told him everything.
412
00:19:49,121 --> 00:19:50,919
Well, I thought you
wanted to ask him
413
00:19:51,057 --> 00:19:52,582
to be best man at the wedding.
414
00:19:52,725 --> 00:19:54,557
Oh, don't say that.
415
00:19:54,694 --> 00:19:58,392
That just pains my
ears something awful.
416
00:19:58,531 --> 00:20:04,403
Speaking of, uh,
ears... I met a, uh...
417
00:20:04,537 --> 00:20:06,665
relative of yours today, Festus.
418
00:20:06,806 --> 00:20:08,672
A Haggen?
419
00:20:08,808 --> 00:20:11,277
Oh, I'm sure this was a Haggen.
420
00:20:11,410 --> 00:20:13,140
Eliab Haggen.
421
00:20:15,047 --> 00:20:17,107
Has he got his
long rifle, has he?
422
00:20:17,249 --> 00:20:18,560
- Mm-hmm.
- What's this all about?
423
00:20:18,584 --> 00:20:19,928
He-He's here in town
and he's got his rifle
424
00:20:19,952 --> 00:20:21,392
- and everything?
- He's here in town
425
00:20:21,520 --> 00:20:23,331
and he's got the longest
rifle I've ever saw in my life.
426
00:20:23,355 --> 00:20:24,618
What's this all about?
427
00:20:24,757 --> 00:20:25,757
Well, you see, this fella
428
00:20:25,891 --> 00:20:27,757
come all the way to
Dodge to see Festus.
429
00:20:27,893 --> 00:20:29,953
Now, that ain't why he came
430
00:20:30,096 --> 00:20:31,291
and you know that.
431
00:20:31,430 --> 00:20:33,365
Actually, it's kind
of a reunion, Kitty.
432
00:20:33,499 --> 00:20:37,027
You are the coldheartedest
dang Comanche
433
00:20:37,169 --> 00:20:38,762
I've ever saw.
434
00:20:38,904 --> 00:20:40,463
Well, you see, he's, uh...
435
00:20:40,606 --> 00:20:42,131
he's gonna shoot
Festus' ear off.
436
00:20:42,274 --> 00:20:44,505
Well, that ain't the
whole truth, neither.
437
00:20:44,643 --> 00:20:46,805
All he wants to get is this...
438
00:20:46,946 --> 00:20:48,812
little hangy-down part.
439
00:20:48,948 --> 00:20:50,177
What?
440
00:20:50,316 --> 00:20:52,342
Well, it's a family affair.
441
00:20:52,485 --> 00:20:55,546
It ain't nothing that you'd
ought to fret about, or...
442
00:20:55,688 --> 00:20:57,350
I-Is he... is he serious?
443
00:20:57,490 --> 00:20:58,934
Yeah. I don't know
if he's serious or not,
444
00:20:58,958 --> 00:21:00,119
but I'll tell you one thing,
445
00:21:00,259 --> 00:21:02,059
that Eliab fella is about
the most serious guy
446
00:21:02,194 --> 00:21:04,186
I've ever met in my life.
447
00:21:39,698 --> 00:21:42,361
Why didn't you tell
me he was in the barn?!
448
00:22:11,997 --> 00:22:13,989
♪♪
449
00:22:40,659 --> 00:22:42,651
♪♪
450
00:23:13,058 --> 00:23:15,050
♪♪
451
00:23:42,621 --> 00:23:45,250
♪♪
452
00:24:24,630 --> 00:24:26,622
♪♪
453
00:24:47,686 --> 00:24:49,086
Aw, Uncle Festus!
454
00:24:49,221 --> 00:24:50,450
You ain't playing fair.
455
00:24:50,589 --> 00:24:51,887
You keep covering up your ear,
456
00:24:52,024 --> 00:24:54,152
I'm gonna have to
shoot your fingers off, too.
457
00:25:16,148 --> 00:25:18,413
Dagnabbit, I see
you, Uncle Festus,
458
00:25:18,550 --> 00:25:20,143
hiding behind that tree!
459
00:25:26,191 --> 00:25:28,183
Runs like a hound
dog with a sore leg.
460
00:25:42,174 --> 00:25:43,665
Oh, Uncle Festus,
461
00:25:43,809 --> 00:25:45,539
why don't you just
hold still for a minute?
462
00:25:45,677 --> 00:25:47,669
It'll only hurt
for a little bit!
463
00:25:48,680 --> 00:25:50,546
If I didn't have a bent foot...
464
00:26:06,465 --> 00:26:08,309
What in thunder's the
matter with you, Festus?
465
00:26:08,333 --> 00:26:10,359
- Well, I'm gonna...
- Oh, come here. Come here!
466
00:26:10,502 --> 00:26:12,368
- But I can't, Doc.
- Come on down here.
467
00:26:15,307 --> 00:26:17,538
Don't tell me he's
still chasing you.
468
00:26:17,676 --> 00:26:19,542
Well, has a mule got a tail?
469
00:26:19,678 --> 00:26:21,010
Of course he is!
470
00:26:21,146 --> 00:26:22,986
Oh, this is the silliest
thing I ever heard of.
471
00:26:23,048 --> 00:26:24,759
Why don't you just settle
down and have a drink?
472
00:26:24,783 --> 00:26:26,513
Because I ain't got time.
473
00:26:26,652 --> 00:26:28,814
I've been a-running
all over them dang hills
474
00:26:28,954 --> 00:26:30,149
trying to get rid of him.
475
00:26:30,289 --> 00:26:32,315
I'm just plumb wore out.
476
00:26:32,458 --> 00:26:33,458
Did you see him?
477
00:26:33,592 --> 00:26:34,753
See him?
478
00:26:34,893 --> 00:26:36,486
Every time I'd look around,
479
00:26:36,628 --> 00:26:38,529
he'd be poking that
dang squirrel rifle
480
00:26:38,664 --> 00:26:39,757
out from behind a rock,
481
00:26:39,898 --> 00:26:41,662
or a tree, or a log, or...
482
00:26:41,800 --> 00:26:42,824
Well, you got a gun.
483
00:26:42,968 --> 00:26:44,128
Why don't you face up to him?
484
00:26:44,203 --> 00:26:46,672
Because I ain't fixing
to get close enough
485
00:26:46,805 --> 00:26:48,603
to face up to him.
486
00:26:48,740 --> 00:26:50,868
Liable to hurt him if I did.
487
00:26:51,009 --> 00:26:53,774
Well, I ain't got
time to stand around.
488
00:26:59,751 --> 00:27:01,811
I've never seen
such rotten luck.
489
00:27:01,954 --> 00:27:03,616
Come on.
490
00:27:03,755 --> 00:27:04,755
Deal the cards.
491
00:27:04,857 --> 00:27:07,417
Be a nice man, huh?
492
00:27:07,559 --> 00:27:09,027
Sign the paper
493
00:27:09,161 --> 00:27:11,357
and I'll let you have a
free ride on the next deal.
494
00:27:13,265 --> 00:27:15,257
Deal 'em.
495
00:27:16,568 --> 00:27:18,867
Well, I see you got
Eliab's, uh, bent foot
496
00:27:19,004 --> 00:27:20,199
straightened out finally.
497
00:27:20,339 --> 00:27:22,501
I didn't do a dang
thing for Eliab's foot.
498
00:27:22,641 --> 00:27:24,633
He...
499
00:27:34,653 --> 00:27:35,916
Hi, Doc Adams.
500
00:27:36,054 --> 00:27:37,854
I thought I told you
to stay off of that foot.
501
00:27:37,890 --> 00:27:39,688
Uncle Festus wouldn't
let me. Howdy, Quint.
502
00:27:39,825 --> 00:27:40,849
Howdy.
503
00:27:40,993 --> 00:27:41,858
How about a drink?
504
00:27:41,994 --> 00:27:43,292
Thank you kindly, no.
505
00:27:43,428 --> 00:27:45,124
I just had one
down to the creek.
506
00:27:47,332 --> 00:27:49,132
What'd you do with the
bandage I put on there?
507
00:27:49,201 --> 00:27:51,067
Oh, I wore it clean off
508
00:27:51,203 --> 00:27:53,104
chasing Uncle
Festus over them hills.
509
00:27:53,238 --> 00:27:56,003
That Haggen is
slicker than possum fat.
510
00:27:56,141 --> 00:28:00,335
Kitty... I want you
to meet somebody.
511
00:28:02,447 --> 00:28:04,075
This here is, uh, Eliab Haggen.
512
00:28:04,216 --> 00:28:05,445
Miss Kitty.
513
00:28:05,584 --> 00:28:06,813
How do you do, Eliab?
514
00:28:08,420 --> 00:28:10,184
My, what a pretty lady.
515
00:28:10,322 --> 00:28:11,881
Pleased to meet you, ma'am.
516
00:28:12,024 --> 00:28:13,686
Well, thank you very much.
517
00:28:13,825 --> 00:28:15,794
I've been very
anxious to meet you.
518
00:28:15,928 --> 00:28:19,456
You're, um, not at
all what I had pictured.
519
00:28:19,598 --> 00:28:21,328
Uh, tell me something, Eliab.
520
00:28:21,466 --> 00:28:22,746
Uh... don't you
think a man's ear
521
00:28:22,801 --> 00:28:23,996
is a little close to his head
522
00:28:24,136 --> 00:28:25,661
to go around shooting at it?
523
00:28:25,804 --> 00:28:29,398
Well, a miss is a
miss and a hit is a hit
524
00:28:29,541 --> 00:28:31,669
and there ain't nothing
but air in-between.
525
00:28:31,810 --> 00:28:34,370
Well, why don't you
just bite it off, like he did?
526
00:28:34,513 --> 00:28:36,175
Well, I tried that, Doc Adams,
527
00:28:36,315 --> 00:28:38,307
but he whupped
me something awful.
528
00:28:38,450 --> 00:28:40,248
Well, what happens if
you miss on the inside
529
00:28:40,385 --> 00:28:41,876
instead of on the outside?
530
00:28:42,020 --> 00:28:43,579
Oh, I wouldn't never
draw down on him
531
00:28:43,722 --> 00:28:46,191
lest I was sure I could
just get this little...
532
00:28:46,325 --> 00:28:49,386
You dirty, rotten,
sniveling slick-fingers!
533
00:28:49,528 --> 00:28:51,520
You're not getting my deed.
534
00:29:04,276 --> 00:29:06,438
You stepped on my foot.
535
00:29:06,578 --> 00:29:09,343
What about it?
536
00:29:09,481 --> 00:29:11,473
You forgot to say,
"Beg my pardon."
537
00:29:13,118 --> 00:29:16,611
Why, you barefooted
little pile of mountain trash,
538
00:29:16,755 --> 00:29:19,623
I'll make you a greasy spot.
539
00:29:19,758 --> 00:29:21,750
Graveyards is full of folks
540
00:29:21,893 --> 00:29:23,725
that said less to Haggens.
541
00:29:37,042 --> 00:29:40,501
All right, Jake, you've
had enough to drink.
542
00:29:40,646 --> 00:29:42,123
Want you to go on
home and sleep it off
543
00:29:42,147 --> 00:29:43,147
and take this with you.
544
00:29:46,318 --> 00:29:49,117
Much obliged to you, Quint,
545
00:29:49,254 --> 00:29:51,120
but I could've handled him.
546
00:29:51,256 --> 00:29:52,884
Well, I'm sure you could, Eliab,
547
00:29:53,025 --> 00:29:56,052
but, uh, I'm afraid your way
might be a little too permanent.
548
00:30:23,522 --> 00:30:26,219
He's still over in the
Long Branch, is he?
549
00:30:26,358 --> 00:30:27,883
Is who over there?
550
00:30:28,026 --> 00:30:29,085
Eliab.
551
00:30:29,227 --> 00:30:31,219
Yeah, he's still over there.
552
00:30:32,531 --> 00:30:34,796
I swear I don't know
what in the tarnation
553
00:30:34,933 --> 00:30:37,459
I'm gonna do with
that little old scudder.
554
00:30:37,602 --> 00:30:39,380
Well, you know, I've
been thinking about that.
555
00:30:39,404 --> 00:30:40,782
If you'd swear out a
complaint or something,
556
00:30:40,806 --> 00:30:42,116
we could take that
rifle away from him.
557
00:30:42,140 --> 00:30:43,665
Well, I can't do that.
558
00:30:43,809 --> 00:30:44,809
Well, why can't you?
559
00:30:44,943 --> 00:30:46,741
Because it wouldn't
be Haggen-like.
560
00:30:46,878 --> 00:30:48,176
Be cheating.
561
00:30:48,313 --> 00:30:50,339
Anyhow, Zetham
raised that young'un
562
00:30:50,482 --> 00:30:53,247
so he's got a one-track head.
563
00:30:53,385 --> 00:30:54,546
Afternoon, Quint.
564
00:30:54,686 --> 00:30:56,552
Afternoon, Mrs. Winton.
565
00:30:56,688 --> 00:30:58,680
Afternoon, Festus.
566
00:31:00,225 --> 00:31:01,591
Honey!
567
00:31:01,727 --> 00:31:04,754
Pearl Winton, you
stay right where you are.
568
00:31:04,896 --> 00:31:07,866
Festus, you are plumb beautiful!
569
00:31:07,999 --> 00:31:09,729
Oh, beautiful.
570
00:31:09,868 --> 00:31:10,995
Why, in them boots,
571
00:31:11,136 --> 00:31:12,647
you're enough to turn
any woman's head.
572
00:31:12,671 --> 00:31:14,503
I declare, I never
saw anything like that
573
00:31:14,639 --> 00:31:16,631
in my whole born days!
574
00:31:18,343 --> 00:31:21,040
Can I touch 'em?
575
00:31:21,179 --> 00:31:23,171
Won't hurt none, I reckon.
576
00:31:25,917 --> 00:31:31,121
Oh... they is something.
577
00:31:31,256 --> 00:31:33,452
Oh, Festus, I want
for you to wear 'em
578
00:31:33,592 --> 00:31:34,855
when we stand up together.
579
00:31:34,993 --> 00:31:36,154
Stand up? I...
580
00:31:36,294 --> 00:31:38,456
And I want you to come to
my house for supper tonight,
581
00:31:38,597 --> 00:31:40,589
but in them boots!
582
00:31:47,706 --> 00:31:49,641
Festus...
583
00:31:49,775 --> 00:31:52,939
you certainly have
a way with women.
584
00:32:04,523 --> 00:32:06,834
You know, this is an awful
lot of fun, I'll admit that,
585
00:32:06,858 --> 00:32:08,850
but by golly, Quint,
it could get serious.
586
00:32:10,829 --> 00:32:13,458
Yeah, I know that, Doc.
587
00:32:13,598 --> 00:32:14,909
Well, I don't know,
maybe somebody
588
00:32:14,933 --> 00:32:17,164
ought to do something about it.
589
00:32:17,302 --> 00:32:20,634
Well... I thought about
knocking Eliab out
590
00:32:20,772 --> 00:32:22,263
and tying him up.
591
00:32:22,407 --> 00:32:23,466
Well, why don't you?
592
00:32:24,910 --> 00:32:26,071
I couldn't do that.
593
00:32:26,211 --> 00:32:27,873
Couldn't?
594
00:32:28,013 --> 00:32:29,447
No, you get to know him better
595
00:32:29,581 --> 00:32:32,346
and you'll see what I mean.
596
00:32:32,484 --> 00:32:33,713
You know, I've...
597
00:32:33,852 --> 00:32:36,822
I've grown real fond of
that strange little fella.
598
00:33:03,315 --> 00:33:05,284
A real unusually
good shot, Quint;
599
00:33:05,417 --> 00:33:08,353
right between the eyes.
600
00:33:08,487 --> 00:33:10,479
Might've been a
coincidence, Doc.
601
00:33:18,330 --> 00:33:20,322
I sure wish Matt
was back in town.
602
00:33:40,185 --> 00:33:42,065
All right, just
take it all, Dink.
603
00:33:43,288 --> 00:33:45,280
That's it.
604
00:33:49,895 --> 00:33:51,227
Eliab.
605
00:33:51,363 --> 00:33:53,355
Over here.
606
00:33:55,534 --> 00:33:57,935
Well, evening to you, Quint.
607
00:33:58,069 --> 00:33:59,069
Evening, Eliab.
608
00:33:59,204 --> 00:34:01,173
What brings you
out this time of night?
609
00:34:01,306 --> 00:34:03,070
Well, I'm afraid it's business.
610
00:34:03,208 --> 00:34:04,608
Oh? What kind of business?
611
00:34:04,743 --> 00:34:07,406
Well, it seems that
I'm the acting marshal
612
00:34:07,546 --> 00:34:09,208
now that Matt
Dillon's out of town.
613
00:34:09,347 --> 00:34:10,610
Acting marshal!
614
00:34:10,749 --> 00:34:12,650
Well, I sure am proud of you.
615
00:34:12,784 --> 00:34:15,879
But I don't see what
that's got to do with me.
616
00:34:17,422 --> 00:34:19,653
Eliab, I'm gonna have to
take that rifle away from you.
617
00:34:21,626 --> 00:34:24,494
You sure are gonna
have to take it from me.
618
00:34:26,598 --> 00:34:28,191
Eliab...
619
00:34:28,333 --> 00:34:30,928
I just took Jake Craig's
body up to Doc's office.
620
00:34:31,069 --> 00:34:32,332
Body?
621
00:34:32,470 --> 00:34:33,470
Yeah.
622
00:34:33,505 --> 00:34:35,906
Found it in the alley.
623
00:34:36,041 --> 00:34:38,875
He was dead; he had a bullet
hole right between the eyes.
624
00:34:39,010 --> 00:34:42,139
Was he that big feller
over at the saloon?
625
00:34:42,280 --> 00:34:44,272
Yeah.
626
00:34:45,450 --> 00:34:47,009
You think I done it?
627
00:34:49,187 --> 00:34:51,383
Doesn't matter
what I think, Eliab.
628
00:34:51,523 --> 00:34:53,458
A lot of people saw
you threaten him.
629
00:34:53,592 --> 00:34:56,562
Well, I wasn't
threatening him, Quint.
630
00:34:56,695 --> 00:34:59,722
I was just telling him what
I thought he ought to know.
631
00:35:08,173 --> 00:35:09,368
Here.
632
00:35:09,507 --> 00:35:11,703
Don't lay it down on nothing.
633
00:35:11,843 --> 00:35:12,843
I won't.
634
00:35:37,168 --> 00:35:38,168
Try not to worry, Eliab.
635
00:35:38,236 --> 00:35:39,101
You'll get a fair trial.
636
00:35:39,237 --> 00:35:41,229
Oh, flitter, I ain't worried.
637
00:35:41,373 --> 00:35:43,467
But, uh...
638
00:35:43,608 --> 00:35:45,770
look after my
mule Dink, will you?
639
00:35:45,910 --> 00:35:48,311
He gets kind of
lonesome without me.
640
00:36:05,296 --> 00:36:07,959
♪ Quint's locked me up ♪
641
00:36:08,099 --> 00:36:11,228
♪ Throwed away the key ♪
642
00:36:11,369 --> 00:36:14,806
♪ But I sure hope ♪
643
00:36:14,939 --> 00:36:19,172
♪ He still likes me. ♪
644
00:36:44,736 --> 00:36:48,036
I never seen nothing like
them boots in all my born days!
645
00:36:48,173 --> 00:36:50,608
That's 'cause there ain't
no other boots like these.
646
00:36:50,742 --> 00:36:52,267
Oh... morning, Quint.
647
00:36:52,410 --> 00:36:53,275
Howdy, Quint.
648
00:36:53,411 --> 00:36:54,879
What are you doing here?
649
00:36:55,013 --> 00:36:56,914
Well, he's been sittin'
up with me all night,
650
00:36:57,048 --> 00:36:58,048
keeping me company.
651
00:36:58,083 --> 00:36:59,574
Oh, well, that explains why
652
00:36:59,718 --> 00:37:01,328
the Widow Winton
couldn't find you last night.
653
00:37:01,352 --> 00:37:02,752
The Widow Winton?
654
00:37:02,887 --> 00:37:05,254
Yeah, it seems
she's, uh, real upset.
655
00:37:05,390 --> 00:37:07,120
She's been looking
all over Dodge for you.
656
00:37:07,258 --> 00:37:08,783
- Why?
- Well, she had
657
00:37:08,927 --> 00:37:10,293
supper for you
last night, Festus,
658
00:37:10,428 --> 00:37:11,428
and you didn't show up.
659
00:37:11,563 --> 00:37:13,532
Dang it, Comanche,
660
00:37:13,665 --> 00:37:16,100
you're the law around
here till Matthew gets back.
661
00:37:16,234 --> 00:37:18,465
Ain't there nothing
you can do about that?
662
00:37:18,603 --> 00:37:20,196
Nothing I can do
about that, Festus.
663
00:37:20,338 --> 00:37:22,637
I can't arrest a woman
for being in love.
664
00:37:23,842 --> 00:37:24,969
Coffee ready?
665
00:37:25,110 --> 00:37:27,238
Yeah, the coffee's ready.
666
00:37:27,378 --> 00:37:29,472
Uncle Festus...
667
00:37:29,614 --> 00:37:31,606
are you fixin' to get married?
668
00:37:31,750 --> 00:37:34,151
No, I ain't fixin'
to get married.
669
00:37:34,285 --> 00:37:35,548
And I'd appreciate it
670
00:37:35,687 --> 00:37:37,849
if you wouldn't
bring it up no more.
671
00:37:38,990 --> 00:37:42,483
Well... what you
want to talk about?
672
00:37:44,829 --> 00:37:46,957
Tell me again
about how we're fixin'
673
00:37:47,098 --> 00:37:49,067
to cook up that grouse hen.
674
00:37:49,200 --> 00:37:52,568
Uncle Festus, I done
told you 50 times.
675
00:37:52,704 --> 00:37:54,468
I know you did,
676
00:37:54,606 --> 00:37:56,370
but I ain't had me no grouse hen
677
00:37:56,508 --> 00:37:59,740
since I left home... Cooked
Haggen-style, that is.
678
00:37:59,878 --> 00:38:00,971
Go on.
679
00:38:01,112 --> 00:38:04,911
Well, she's young
and she's plump.
680
00:38:05,049 --> 00:38:07,450
And she's right over at
the stable in the feed bin.
681
00:38:07,585 --> 00:38:09,417
And I got me a
poke with some taters
682
00:38:09,554 --> 00:38:12,614
and some onions and
some sage for stuffing.
683
00:38:12,757 --> 00:38:14,316
And there's some
red clay in that bank
684
00:38:14,459 --> 00:38:16,303
that takes you over to
roll her up in for baking.
685
00:38:16,327 --> 00:38:17,567
And then I got me some of these
686
00:38:17,662 --> 00:38:19,096
little, teeny chestnuts...
687
00:38:19,230 --> 00:38:22,530
Quit! Quit, I just
can't stand it no more.
688
00:38:22,667 --> 00:38:23,828
You know something?
689
00:38:23,968 --> 00:38:25,095
I'd get you out of here...
690
00:38:25,236 --> 00:38:26,670
if for no other reason,
691
00:38:26,805 --> 00:38:29,365
I'd get you out to
cook that grouse hen.
692
00:38:29,507 --> 00:38:32,966
Well, I'd have to
shoot your ear off first.
693
00:38:39,684 --> 00:38:40,743
Marshal!
694
00:38:40,885 --> 00:38:42,581
Out of town, Abel,
what's on your mind?
695
00:38:42,720 --> 00:38:44,450
It's Doc Adams wants
him. He said to hurry.
696
00:38:44,589 --> 00:38:46,455
He hollered at me
from the top of the stairs.
697
00:38:46,591 --> 00:38:48,583
All right.
698
00:38:54,833 --> 00:38:55,833
Hello, Quint.
699
00:38:55,900 --> 00:38:56,900
Hello, Doc.
700
00:38:56,935 --> 00:38:58,164
What's the matter?
701
00:38:58,303 --> 00:38:59,703
Matt's not back yet, huh?
702
00:38:59,838 --> 00:39:00,703
No, why?
703
00:39:00,839 --> 00:39:02,831
Want to show you something.
704
00:39:11,282 --> 00:39:14,047
Looks to me like it
came from a derringer.
705
00:39:14,185 --> 00:39:16,051
Well, it's not from any
cap-and-ball weapon,
706
00:39:16,187 --> 00:39:17,187
I'll tell you that.
707
00:39:17,288 --> 00:39:19,382
Or any Haggen-type weapon.
708
00:39:19,524 --> 00:39:20,992
Hardly.
709
00:39:21,125 --> 00:39:23,560
Another thing: there were
powder burns right near the wound.
710
00:39:24,662 --> 00:39:25,960
Let me ask you something, Doc.
711
00:39:26,097 --> 00:39:27,942
You remember when I threw
him out of the saloon yesterday?
712
00:39:27,966 --> 00:39:29,229
Yeah.
713
00:39:29,367 --> 00:39:31,359
Well, he had a paper on him,
714
00:39:31,502 --> 00:39:33,403
a-a land deed or something
715
00:39:33,538 --> 00:39:35,018
he was using as a
bet in a poker game.
716
00:39:35,139 --> 00:39:36,300
Did he have it on him?
717
00:39:36,441 --> 00:39:38,137
No, didn't find a thing.
718
00:39:38,276 --> 00:39:39,505
Yeah.
719
00:39:39,644 --> 00:39:41,121
Mind if I keep this
and show it to Matt?
720
00:39:41,145 --> 00:39:42,169
No, of course not.
721
00:39:42,313 --> 00:39:43,313
Thanks, Doc.
722
00:39:46,985 --> 00:39:48,544
Well, Quint, Doc.
723
00:39:48,686 --> 00:39:49,847
Finally got back, huh?
724
00:39:49,988 --> 00:39:50,853
You look terrible.
725
00:39:50,989 --> 00:39:52,184
Yeah, well, thanks.
726
00:39:52,323 --> 00:39:54,087
I've been in the
saddle for 36 hours.
727
00:39:54,225 --> 00:39:56,126
Who is this you
got locked up in jail?
728
00:39:56,261 --> 00:39:57,456
You didn't see him, huh?
729
00:39:57,595 --> 00:39:59,154
Why, no, Abel told me about it.
730
00:39:59,297 --> 00:40:00,959
Oh.
731
00:40:01,099 --> 00:40:03,796
Well, you'd better
sit down, Matt.
732
00:40:03,935 --> 00:40:06,700
Well, if I sit down, I
may not get up again.
733
00:40:06,838 --> 00:40:07,862
Go on, tell him, Quint.
734
00:40:08,006 --> 00:40:09,030
Let him have it.
735
00:40:09,173 --> 00:40:11,335
Well, that fella
over there in the jail
736
00:40:11,476 --> 00:40:12,910
is, uh, Eliab Haggen,
737
00:40:13,044 --> 00:40:14,774
who's a nephew of Festus Haggen,
738
00:40:14,913 --> 00:40:16,381
and they're real
fond of each other,
739
00:40:16,514 --> 00:40:18,847
only Eliab's here to
shoot Festus' ear off.
740
00:40:18,983 --> 00:40:20,679
Not the whole ear, though.
741
00:40:21,953 --> 00:40:23,683
That little hangy-down part.
742
00:40:36,100 --> 00:40:36,965
Hello, Kitty.
743
00:40:37,101 --> 00:40:40,196
Well, welcome home, stranger.
744
00:40:40,338 --> 00:40:42,170
You look like you
haven't slept for a week.
745
00:40:42,307 --> 00:40:43,832
Ah, Kitty, you're not far wrong.
746
00:40:43,975 --> 00:40:45,102
Did you have trouble?
747
00:40:45,243 --> 00:40:46,472
Well, I had some,
748
00:40:46,611 --> 00:40:48,289
but according to what
Quint's been telling me,
749
00:40:48,313 --> 00:40:49,645
it's not as much as you've had.
750
00:40:49,781 --> 00:40:52,182
I've seen quieter days.
751
00:40:52,317 --> 00:40:53,580
How about some coffee?
752
00:40:53,718 --> 00:40:54,583
No. No, thanks.
753
00:40:54,719 --> 00:40:55,948
Uh, where's this new dealer?
754
00:40:56,087 --> 00:40:57,578
I fired him last night.
755
00:40:57,722 --> 00:40:59,714
He's in the office;
Sam's paying him off.
756
00:41:04,429 --> 00:41:06,022
Wait a minute, I
want to talk to you.
757
00:41:06,164 --> 00:41:07,928
I'm in a hurry, Marshal.
I'll miss my stage.
758
00:41:08,066 --> 00:41:09,710
I'm afraid you're gonna
miss a lot more than that.
759
00:41:09,734 --> 00:41:11,032
See that?
760
00:41:11,169 --> 00:41:12,501
That's a derringer slug.
761
00:41:12,637 --> 00:41:16,130
I... don't understand.
762
00:41:16,274 --> 00:41:18,834
Then I'll make it
real clear to you.
763
00:41:18,977 --> 00:41:21,708
You're under arrest for
the murder of Jake Craig.
764
00:41:36,694 --> 00:41:38,595
He was a chiseler, Marshal.
765
00:41:38,730 --> 00:41:41,290
A cheap, tinhorn chiseler.
766
00:41:41,432 --> 00:41:42,525
What's that?
767
00:41:42,667 --> 00:41:44,659
That's the land deed I
was telling you about.
768
00:41:46,304 --> 00:41:48,296
Let's go.
769
00:41:54,946 --> 00:41:57,211
What's going on here?
770
00:41:57,348 --> 00:41:58,668
We're gonna let
Eliab out of jail.
771
00:41:58,783 --> 00:41:59,807
- Eliab?
- Yep.
772
00:41:59,951 --> 00:42:01,647
By golly, I'm going
along with you.
773
00:42:01,786 --> 00:42:04,085
I want to see the
look on Festus' face
774
00:42:04,222 --> 00:42:05,588
when he finds out about that.
775
00:42:05,723 --> 00:42:08,192
What are you gonna do,
give Festus a head start, Matt?
776
00:42:08,326 --> 00:42:10,056
No, I'm gonna leave
that up to Quint, here.
777
00:42:10,194 --> 00:42:11,389
What do you mean?
778
00:42:11,529 --> 00:42:13,089
'Cause if I don't get
a bath and a shave
779
00:42:13,131 --> 00:42:14,326
and some sleep pretty quick,
780
00:42:14,465 --> 00:42:16,934
I'm gonna be mean enough
to shoot his ear off myself.
781
00:42:17,068 --> 00:42:18,366
Quint, lock him up
782
00:42:18,503 --> 00:42:19,780
and do whatever
else you want to.
783
00:42:19,804 --> 00:42:21,796
Just don't disturb me.
784
00:42:23,508 --> 00:42:25,443
Well, Doc, it looks
like I'm in charge.
785
00:42:25,576 --> 00:42:27,738
Hey, this might
be all right, Deputy.
786
00:42:27,879 --> 00:42:29,279
Let's go.
787
00:42:45,396 --> 00:42:46,261
Howdy, Doc.
788
00:42:46,397 --> 00:42:48,389
Festus.
789
00:42:50,668 --> 00:42:52,660
Stand over there.
790
00:42:54,372 --> 00:42:56,432
What are you doing
here, gambling man?
791
00:42:56,574 --> 00:43:00,238
Matt just arrested him for
the murder of Jake Craig.
792
00:43:00,378 --> 00:43:02,847
I knowed it wasn't
Eliab done it.
793
00:43:04,649 --> 00:43:07,551
Matthew fixin' to turn
Eliab loose, is he?
794
00:43:07,685 --> 00:43:08,805
Well, don't ask me about it.
795
00:43:08,886 --> 00:43:10,064
You'll have to see
Quint about that.
796
00:43:10,088 --> 00:43:11,420
He's in charge.
797
00:43:11,556 --> 00:43:14,458
Well, you ain't fixin' to
leave him go, are you, Quint?
798
00:43:14,592 --> 00:43:16,003
Well, I don't have
any choice, Festus.
799
00:43:16,027 --> 00:43:18,587
Well, I gotta talk to Matthew.
800
00:43:18,729 --> 00:43:20,474
No, no, you can't
do that either.
801
00:43:20,498 --> 00:43:21,989
Matt's trying to get some rest.
802
00:43:22,133 --> 00:43:23,243
He'd be madder than thunder.
803
00:43:23,267 --> 00:43:24,132
Don't disturb him.
804
00:43:24,268 --> 00:43:26,396
But you all don't understand.
805
00:43:26,537 --> 00:43:27,561
You gotta help me.
806
00:43:27,705 --> 00:43:28,570
Now, this is serious.
807
00:43:28,706 --> 00:43:30,470
That little scudder
means business.
808
00:43:30,608 --> 00:43:31,974
I can't help that, Festus.
809
00:43:32,110 --> 00:43:32,975
Come on, you.
810
00:43:33,111 --> 00:43:33,976
- Quint...
- Hold it,
811
00:43:34,112 --> 00:43:35,444
hold it just a minute now.
812
00:43:35,580 --> 00:43:36,946
I think I got an idea.
813
00:43:37,081 --> 00:43:39,175
Festus, come here.
814
00:43:39,317 --> 00:43:41,309
Take off those spurs.
815
00:43:43,521 --> 00:43:44,521
Why?
816
00:43:44,622 --> 00:43:45,487
Take off your spurs!
817
00:43:45,623 --> 00:43:47,615
You want me to help you?
818
00:43:49,694 --> 00:43:52,994
You don't have to be so
danged ornery about it.
819
00:44:17,955 --> 00:44:19,947
Get in there.
820
00:44:22,860 --> 00:44:25,386
Well... howdy, Eliab.
821
00:44:25,530 --> 00:44:26,530
Howdy, Doc Adams.
822
00:44:26,564 --> 00:44:27,725
Howdy, Quint.
823
00:44:27,865 --> 00:44:28,865
Hello, Eliab.
824
00:44:28,966 --> 00:44:30,144
We thought maybe you
was a little lonesome,
825
00:44:30,168 --> 00:44:31,466
we'd come in here and visit you.
826
00:44:31,602 --> 00:44:34,629
No, I was just talking
to a mockingbird.
827
00:44:35,673 --> 00:44:36,732
What'd he say?
828
00:44:36,874 --> 00:44:39,366
There ain't nothing
wrong with that.
829
00:44:39,510 --> 00:44:41,775
Mockingbirds sing, and
it's dang near as purty
830
00:44:41,913 --> 00:44:43,677
as these boots are.
831
00:44:43,814 --> 00:44:46,807
Yeah, except a
mockingbird's for listening to
832
00:44:46,951 --> 00:44:48,681
and them boots
is for looking at.
833
00:44:48,819 --> 00:44:50,219
Or for wearing, too.
834
00:44:50,354 --> 00:44:52,846
A man cuts a fine figure
in a pair of boots like that.
835
00:44:52,990 --> 00:44:54,891
Could indeed.
836
00:44:55,026 --> 00:44:58,656
Uh, how come you got
them boots on today, Festus?
837
00:44:58,796 --> 00:45:00,230
Today?
838
00:45:00,364 --> 00:45:02,356
Well, I ain't
never took 'em off,
839
00:45:02,500 --> 00:45:03,627
even when I'm sleeping,
840
00:45:03,768 --> 00:45:06,499
for fear that
somebody'll steal them.
841
00:45:06,637 --> 00:45:08,196
Back where me
and Festus is from,
842
00:45:08,339 --> 00:45:11,571
a man with a pair of boots
like that'd be king of the roost.
843
00:45:11,709 --> 00:45:14,543
Get hisself any gal
he wanted, I reckon.
844
00:45:14,679 --> 00:45:16,739
Say, Eliab, I'll bet back
where you came from,
845
00:45:16,881 --> 00:45:18,213
you've got a girl that'd...
846
00:45:18,349 --> 00:45:20,250
that'd just love to see
you in those boots.
847
00:45:20,384 --> 00:45:22,080
Now, haven't you
got a girl like that?
848
00:45:22,220 --> 00:45:24,587
Well, I have, for a
fact, Doc Adams.
849
00:45:24,722 --> 00:45:28,090
She favors Zeke Musgrove
much as she does me.
850
00:45:28,226 --> 00:45:31,060
Of course, if I had a
pair of boots like that...
851
00:45:31,195 --> 00:45:33,391
No, no. Just ain't
possible, Eliab.
852
00:45:33,531 --> 00:45:36,433
Ain't no other boots like
this in the whole world.
853
00:45:36,567 --> 00:45:38,263
One of a kind.
854
00:45:38,402 --> 00:45:42,100
I believe you, Uncle
Festus, I purely do.
855
00:45:42,240 --> 00:45:46,041
Of course, seeing as how
you're my favorite nephew
856
00:45:46,177 --> 00:45:50,615
and... seeing as how you got
your heart set on these boots,
857
00:45:50,748 --> 00:45:53,912
might be we could just
strike ourself a trade.
858
00:45:54,051 --> 00:45:57,249
I'll swap you anything
I own for them boots.
859
00:45:57,388 --> 00:46:01,450
Well, now, uh, what about
your claim on Festus' ear, huh?
860
00:46:01,592 --> 00:46:04,653
Well, now, you're talking
about a duty of honor.
861
00:46:04,795 --> 00:46:05,990
No, he ain't.
862
00:46:06,130 --> 00:46:08,690
He's talking about these
here boots and my ear.
863
00:46:08,833 --> 00:46:11,132
I'll swap you straight
across, even Steven,
864
00:46:11,269 --> 00:46:13,932
the boots for the
ear... Just say "done."
865
00:46:14,972 --> 00:46:16,338
Oh, I can't.
866
00:46:16,474 --> 00:46:18,067
I just can't.
867
00:46:18,209 --> 00:46:19,404
Well, now wait now.
868
00:46:19,543 --> 00:46:22,809
Well, what about an
armistice for, say, five years?
869
00:46:22,947 --> 00:46:24,313
What's that?
870
00:46:24,448 --> 00:46:27,749
Well, it's, uh...
a kind of a truce.
871
00:46:27,885 --> 00:46:30,354
Well, it's like "King's X."
872
00:46:30,488 --> 00:46:35,188
Would you by any chance be
wearing socks under them boots?
873
00:46:35,326 --> 00:46:36,692
Well, of course I am.
874
00:46:36,827 --> 00:46:40,320
You can't wear boots like
these without any socks.
875
00:46:40,464 --> 00:46:42,695
Besides, Quint's gonna
throw in a little something extry
876
00:46:42,833 --> 00:46:44,461
into the bargain.
Ain't you, Quint?
877
00:46:46,003 --> 00:46:48,495
Yeah, Eliab, if, uh, if you'll
go ahead with this trade,
878
00:46:48,639 --> 00:46:50,767
we'll let you out
of this cell for good.
879
00:46:53,577 --> 00:46:55,671
I'll give you one whole month.
880
00:46:55,813 --> 00:46:57,543
Four years... just say "done."
881
00:46:57,682 --> 00:46:59,810
Six months, but I'm
a fool for thinking it.
882
00:46:59,950 --> 00:47:03,045
Two years... and you
just stole these fine boots.
883
00:47:03,187 --> 00:47:05,520
Throw in the socks, and I'll
give you a year's King's X,
884
00:47:05,656 --> 00:47:06,656
and not a day longer.
885
00:47:06,791 --> 00:47:08,760
- Done!
- Yee-haw-haw-haw!
886
00:47:11,529 --> 00:47:13,964
Help me take them off.
887
00:47:17,034 --> 00:47:20,129
What's that feller in jail
over there for, Uncle Festus?
888
00:47:20,271 --> 00:47:23,469
For doing the killin' that you
was supposed to have did.
889
00:47:23,607 --> 00:47:26,076
Did you know that all the time
890
00:47:26,210 --> 00:47:28,805
we was sitting here
dickering for these boots?
891
00:47:29,847 --> 00:47:32,373
Well, I had...
892
00:47:32,516 --> 00:47:35,111
Well... I ought to
have knowed better
893
00:47:35,252 --> 00:47:37,517
than to be swappin'
with a Haggen.
894
00:47:42,793 --> 00:47:44,785
Here's the socks.
895
00:47:52,570 --> 00:47:54,869
Festus Haggen!
Where have you been?
896
00:47:55,005 --> 00:47:57,770
I've been looking
all over town for you.
897
00:47:59,810 --> 00:48:02,507
What happened to your boots?
898
00:48:02,646 --> 00:48:06,174
I ain't got them no more, Pearl.
899
00:48:06,317 --> 00:48:10,948
But I never saw such a
change in a man in my life.
900
00:48:11,088 --> 00:48:13,523
Festus, you lost all your fire.
901
00:48:13,657 --> 00:48:15,853
What did you do with them?
902
00:48:15,993 --> 00:48:17,723
I swapped 'em off.
903
00:48:17,862 --> 00:48:20,058
Swapped 'em?! To who?
904
00:48:20,197 --> 00:48:23,031
Uh, to my nephew, Eliab here.
905
00:48:28,606 --> 00:48:30,336
Land's sakes!
906
00:48:30,474 --> 00:48:34,434
Them boots, they sure
do do something for a man.
907
00:48:34,578 --> 00:48:38,071
And this here Haggen's
a workin' fool, Pearl.
908
00:48:39,650 --> 00:48:43,348
Why don't you just
introduce me, Festus?
909
00:48:43,487 --> 00:48:45,547
Of course. I'd be plumb proud.
910
00:48:45,689 --> 00:48:47,282
This here is Eliab Haggen.
911
00:48:47,425 --> 00:48:49,087
He ain't married or spoke for,
912
00:48:49,226 --> 00:48:52,685
he's just a plumb fool about
mustard greens and ham hocks,
913
00:48:52,830 --> 00:48:56,130
and he's got hisself a
built-in sense of responsibility.
914
00:48:56,267 --> 00:48:59,396
Eliab, this here is
the Widow Winton.
915
00:49:00,438 --> 00:49:04,868
Well, Eliab... I'm
mighty pleased to meet
916
00:49:05,009 --> 00:49:07,638
a responsible Haggen.
917
00:49:07,778 --> 00:49:11,442
Uh, if y'all excuse me, I just
remembered something I forgot.
918
00:49:20,558 --> 00:49:22,254
What's the matter?
919
00:49:22,393 --> 00:49:24,521
That's the dirtiest trick
I've ever seen in my life.
920
00:49:24,662 --> 00:49:26,006
That was just
terrible... You pawning
921
00:49:26,030 --> 00:49:28,124
your own flesh and
blood, your own nephew off
922
00:49:28,265 --> 00:49:29,528
on the Widow Winton!
923
00:49:29,667 --> 00:49:31,533
But there's something
you don't know.
924
00:49:31,669 --> 00:49:34,571
Now, he ain't only the best
shot in the Haggen clan,
925
00:49:34,705 --> 00:49:37,106
but he's the
fastest runner, too.
926
00:49:37,241 --> 00:49:38,903
Hmm.
927
00:49:40,978 --> 00:49:45,348
I know I owe you fellers a
whole heap for what you did...
928
00:49:45,483 --> 00:49:46,678
Yeah.
929
00:49:46,817 --> 00:49:50,549
How would you like you
a taste of grouse hen?
930
00:49:50,688 --> 00:49:52,987
What do you think
about that, Quint?
931
00:49:53,123 --> 00:49:55,649
- Not me, Doc.
- Nope.
932
00:49:55,793 --> 00:49:59,093
Uh, but this here is gonna
be cooked Haggen-style,
933
00:49:59,230 --> 00:50:02,394
in the poke, with taters
and onions and sage,
934
00:50:02,533 --> 00:50:03,831
and all wrapped up in...
935
00:50:03,968 --> 00:50:06,028
What do you think
about that, Doc?
936
00:50:06,170 --> 00:50:08,833
- Not me.
- Nope.
937
00:50:08,973 --> 00:50:12,466
Well, what if we was to
go down to the Long Branch
938
00:50:12,610 --> 00:50:15,079
and I was to buy you a drink?
939
00:50:15,212 --> 00:50:18,148
Well, now, that's
a little more like it.
940
00:50:18,282 --> 00:50:19,722
But what are you
gonna use for money?
941
00:50:19,850 --> 00:50:23,184
Aw, fiddle! I got money.
942
00:50:24,655 --> 00:50:26,521
Bye, Uncle Festus!
943
00:50:26,657 --> 00:50:28,785
See you next year!
944
00:50:28,926 --> 00:50:32,363
♪ And I'll come back
and shoot off your ear! ♪
66808
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