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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:06,940 --> 00:00:10,276 [music playing] 2 00:00:27,193 --> 00:00:28,695 [chatter] 3 00:00:28,695 --> 00:00:31,131 [greeting] 4 00:00:33,133 --> 00:00:34,501 I didn't miss anything, did I? 5 00:00:34,501 --> 00:00:35,569 No, no, no, you didn't miss it. 6 00:00:35,569 --> 00:00:37,270 I was just about to begin in. 7 00:00:37,270 --> 00:00:40,974 Gentlemen, I want to remind you of a very special someone‐‐ 8 00:00:40,974 --> 00:00:43,610 baseball legend Wade Boggs‐‐ ‐Great. 9 00:00:43,610 --> 00:00:47,480 HOWIE: ‐‐who is rumored to have drank 64 Miller Lites 10 00:00:47,480 --> 00:00:50,116 on a cross‐country flight. 11 00:00:50,116 --> 00:00:52,886 Now, I'm not saying we have to match that. 12 00:00:52,886 --> 00:00:54,688 But it's good to have goals! 13 00:00:54,688 --> 00:00:55,488 [interposing voices] 14 00:00:55,488 --> 00:00:56,890 It's good to have goals. 15 00:00:56,890 --> 00:00:57,691 I like that. 16 00:00:57,691 --> 00:00:58,692 I wrote that. 17 00:00:58,692 --> 00:00:59,960 I wrote that and memorized it. 18 00:00:59,960 --> 00:01:02,128 God, I didn't think you were going to make it, dude. 19 00:01:02,128 --> 00:01:03,363 Barrett said you're way too whipped 20 00:01:03,363 --> 00:01:04,665 by Katherine to do a pub crawl. 21 00:01:04,665 --> 00:01:06,066 BARRETT: Don't misquote me, man. 22 00:01:06,066 --> 00:01:07,400 I didn't say that. 23 00:01:07,400 --> 00:01:09,369 I said, he's way too scared of Katherine to blow her up. 24 00:01:09,369 --> 00:01:13,406 Come on, there's no way I would miss as a new tradition, right? 25 00:01:13,406 --> 00:01:15,408 I'm just going to be responsible a little bit. 26 00:01:15,408 --> 00:01:16,843 I'm gonna do three bars, and that's it. 27 00:01:16,843 --> 00:01:18,078 What? BARRETT: Three bars? 28 00:01:18,078 --> 00:01:18,879 Three bars? 29 00:01:18,879 --> 00:01:20,280 Three bars. 30 00:01:20,280 --> 00:01:21,948 HOWIE: Oh, I mean, there's no point of you even being here. 31 00:01:21,948 --> 00:01:23,383 I mean, you should just go home now, 32 00:01:23,383 --> 00:01:25,986 man, because you're going to miss all the good shit. 33 00:01:25,986 --> 00:01:26,820 He wrote a speech. 34 00:01:26,820 --> 00:01:28,221 Okay, I understand. 35 00:01:28,221 --> 00:01:29,723 But, dude, Katherine's parents are visiting from out of town, 36 00:01:29,723 --> 00:01:30,757 and I got to hang out. 37 00:01:30,757 --> 00:01:31,992 If I skipped out, then she'll kill me. 38 00:01:31,992 --> 00:01:33,159 DAVID: Hey, guys, guys, guys, guys, check this out. 39 00:01:33,159 --> 00:01:34,260 I know we said we were just going 40 00:01:34,260 --> 00:01:35,461 to do beer at the first bar. 41 00:01:35,461 --> 00:01:37,263 But there was this super‐hot shot girl. 42 00:01:37,263 --> 00:01:39,165 She freaking was so hot. 43 00:01:39,165 --> 00:01:41,067 Do I have to teach your little brother everything? 44 00:01:41,067 --> 00:01:42,736 Never ever talk to the shot girls. 45 00:01:42,736 --> 00:01:43,704 Never. 46 00:01:43,704 --> 00:01:45,405 They're just undercover bartenders. 47 00:01:45,405 --> 00:01:46,507 And they never put up. 48 00:01:49,109 --> 00:01:50,944 'Cept that one might be different. 49 00:01:50,944 --> 00:01:51,878 Excuse me, boys. 50 00:01:51,878 --> 00:01:53,113 Oh. 51 00:01:53,113 --> 00:01:55,115 I'm not even trying to hook up with that girl, man. 52 00:01:55,115 --> 00:01:56,617 I‐‐ I actually really want to see how 53 00:01:56,617 --> 00:01:57,951 things work with me and Amanda. 54 00:01:57,951 --> 00:01:58,952 Aw, that's sweet. 55 00:01:58,952 --> 00:02:00,053 ADAM: Amanda? 56 00:02:00,053 --> 00:02:01,387 Are you talking about Katherine's friend? 57 00:02:01,387 --> 00:02:02,388 Yeah. 58 00:02:02,388 --> 00:02:03,389 You've been out on one date with her. 59 00:02:03,389 --> 00:02:04,691 ‐Yeah, but she's really cool. ‐Zzh! 60 00:02:04,691 --> 00:02:05,726 Beer pong's up. David, you in? 61 00:02:05,726 --> 00:02:06,527 DAVID: All right. 62 00:02:06,527 --> 00:02:09,229 Oh, Adam and I got next. 63 00:02:09,229 --> 00:02:10,631 Come here. 64 00:02:10,631 --> 00:02:12,999 I gotta say, man, that rousing speech was awesome, man. 65 00:02:12,999 --> 00:02:14,535 You got our song‐playing dude. 66 00:02:14,535 --> 00:02:16,937 This is not gonna be‐‐ not gonna be easy. 67 00:02:16,937 --> 00:02:19,640 Buddy, that is just the beginning. 68 00:02:19,640 --> 00:02:21,207 Check it out. 69 00:02:21,207 --> 00:02:22,208 ADAM: What the hell is that? 70 00:02:22,208 --> 00:02:25,045 HOWIE: That, my friend, is a barcycle. 71 00:02:25,045 --> 00:02:26,479 Barcycle! 72 00:02:26,479 --> 00:02:29,315 Let's be stupid people, man! 73 00:02:29,315 --> 00:02:30,851 Heh. 74 00:02:30,851 --> 00:02:32,052 Three bars, huh? 75 00:02:32,052 --> 00:02:34,220 [MUSIC ‐ MONTELL JORDAN, "THIS IS HOW WE DO IT"] 76 00:02:36,489 --> 00:02:37,290 This is so weird. 77 00:02:37,290 --> 00:02:38,659 He just texted me. 78 00:02:38,659 --> 00:02:39,960 You know, I'm gonna call him again. 79 00:02:39,960 --> 00:02:41,928 Okay 80 00:02:41,928 --> 00:02:45,365 [guys conversing] 81 00:02:49,335 --> 00:02:51,805 Oh, man, I'm so drunk, man. 82 00:02:51,805 --> 00:02:54,808 Barcycle was a bad idea. 83 00:02:54,808 --> 00:02:56,176 I really got to go. 84 00:02:56,176 --> 00:02:59,179 ADAM: I'll be right back. 85 00:02:59,179 --> 00:03:00,514 Hey, what's up, babe? 86 00:03:00,514 --> 00:03:03,750 Oh, my god, you look so good in a black dress. 87 00:03:03,750 --> 00:03:05,118 What the fuck? 88 00:03:05,118 --> 00:03:07,988 Oh, my god, you look so good tonight. 89 00:03:07,988 --> 00:03:09,355 You're like a doll. 90 00:03:09,355 --> 00:03:10,190 What are you doing? 91 00:03:10,190 --> 00:03:11,257 What's up? 92 00:03:11,257 --> 00:03:12,993 Oh, my god, I'm so sorry I'm late, ha‐ha. 93 00:03:12,993 --> 00:03:14,961 Adam, why did you get so drunk? 94 00:03:14,961 --> 00:03:15,762 What? 95 00:03:15,762 --> 00:03:16,997 Oh, my god. 96 00:03:16,997 --> 00:03:20,166 Um, I‐‐ I'm not that drunk, but I was responsible. 97 00:03:20,166 --> 00:03:22,936 And I only drank nine beers before flip cup. 98 00:03:22,936 --> 00:03:24,104 How many shots did you have? 99 00:03:24,104 --> 00:03:25,205 Shots don't count. 100 00:03:25,205 --> 00:03:27,107 Everybody knows that shots don't count. 101 00:03:27,107 --> 00:03:28,842 All right, look, I confess. 102 00:03:28,842 --> 00:03:30,043 I'm a little bit drunk. 103 00:03:30,043 --> 00:03:31,011 But you know what? 104 00:03:31,011 --> 00:03:32,613 The guys decided that we were going 105 00:03:32,613 --> 00:03:36,082 to have, uh, every year to do a pub crawl, 106 00:03:36,082 --> 00:03:37,383 because it's our anniversary. 107 00:03:37,383 --> 00:03:39,653 Adam, do you even know when our anniversary is? 108 00:03:39,653 --> 00:03:41,922 Yeah, totally, I know when it is. 109 00:03:41,922 --> 00:03:43,356 Every single year. 110 00:03:43,356 --> 00:03:44,457 [laughs] 111 00:03:44,457 --> 00:03:48,494 It's not today, is it? 112 00:03:48,494 --> 00:03:49,329 Oh, shit. 113 00:03:49,329 --> 00:03:51,031 It's today? 114 00:03:51,031 --> 00:03:54,434 What did you get me? 115 00:03:54,434 --> 00:03:55,836 Go be with your friends. 116 00:03:55,836 --> 00:03:56,670 No way. 117 00:03:56,670 --> 00:03:58,071 I would never do that with them. 118 00:03:58,071 --> 00:04:00,907 Why would you‐‐ I know how important this day is to you. 119 00:04:00,907 --> 00:04:01,942 Why is Mook naked? 120 00:04:01,942 --> 00:04:03,043 Mook's naked. 121 00:04:03,043 --> 00:04:05,478 That's because that's how we party, dude! 122 00:04:05,478 --> 00:04:06,279 KATHERINE: Adam. 123 00:04:06,279 --> 00:04:07,914 ADAM: What? 124 00:04:07,914 --> 00:04:09,382 Go be with your friends. 125 00:04:09,382 --> 00:04:11,685 Oh, my god, I love you so much, Katherine. 126 00:04:11,685 --> 00:04:13,153 Thank you, I know. 127 00:04:13,153 --> 00:04:16,790 You guys, thanks so much for you know what. 128 00:04:16,790 --> 00:04:19,826 Yeah, Mr. Dad and the mom. 129 00:04:19,826 --> 00:04:21,027 Hey, guys! 130 00:04:21,027 --> 00:04:22,896 Katherine said I could stay out a little longer. 131 00:04:22,896 --> 00:04:25,832 [guys cheering] 132 00:04:25,832 --> 00:04:29,670 Hey, Katherine, can you please tell Amanda call me? 133 00:04:29,670 --> 00:04:33,607 [music playing] 134 00:05:48,982 --> 00:05:50,050 [chatter] 135 00:05:50,050 --> 00:05:51,484 ADAM: So what are we doing here? 136 00:05:51,484 --> 00:05:52,653 BARRETT: David said we had to come. 137 00:05:52,653 --> 00:05:54,588 ADAM: Oh, it's a party for Amanda. 138 00:05:54,588 --> 00:05:56,022 BARRETT: He's so whipped. 139 00:05:56,022 --> 00:05:58,625 HOWIE: He picked a bad week, but your little brother 140 00:05:58,625 --> 00:06:00,360 did go all out, I'll say that. 141 00:06:00,360 --> 00:06:01,227 Definitely. 142 00:06:01,227 --> 00:06:02,462 This place, man. 143 00:06:02,462 --> 00:06:03,664 Wow, man. 144 00:06:03,664 --> 00:06:04,965 I really need to get my shit together. 145 00:06:04,965 --> 00:06:06,332 BARRETT: Oh, man. 146 00:06:06,332 --> 00:06:08,535 If I was making real estate money like David, 147 00:06:08,535 --> 00:06:10,103 I wouldn't waste it on these wine parties. 148 00:06:10,103 --> 00:06:10,904 MOOK: Oh! 149 00:06:10,904 --> 00:06:12,238 Oh, oh. 150 00:06:12,238 --> 00:06:13,039 What? 151 00:06:13,039 --> 00:06:14,708 What up with that one? 152 00:06:14,708 --> 00:06:16,276 ADAM: That's my 16‐year‐old cousin. 153 00:06:16,276 --> 00:06:19,179 So no because she's your cousin? 154 00:06:19,179 --> 00:06:21,481 Or no because she's 16? 155 00:06:21,481 --> 00:06:23,083 No, because of‐‐ really? 156 00:06:23,083 --> 00:06:23,850 Yeah. 157 00:06:23,850 --> 00:06:25,085 Hey, Adam. 158 00:06:25,085 --> 00:06:25,886 Come here. 159 00:06:25,886 --> 00:06:27,721 I could use your help. 160 00:06:27,721 --> 00:06:28,755 ADAM: My mom's calling me. 161 00:06:28,755 --> 00:06:29,890 And no, you can't fuck my mom either. 162 00:06:29,890 --> 00:06:30,891 How's that? 163 00:06:30,891 --> 00:06:32,292 No to my whole family. ‐Don't want to. 164 00:06:32,292 --> 00:06:33,326 Yeah, yeah. 165 00:06:33,326 --> 00:06:34,494 Don't want to. 166 00:06:34,494 --> 00:06:36,096 I wan to fuck his mom so bad. 167 00:06:36,096 --> 00:06:36,963 I know you do. I know. 168 00:06:36,963 --> 00:06:37,764 Hey. 169 00:06:37,764 --> 00:06:38,899 Hey. 170 00:06:38,899 --> 00:06:40,501 I can't believe David put you to work today. 171 00:06:40,501 --> 00:06:42,102 I volunteered. 172 00:06:42,102 --> 00:06:44,137 What is that on your face? 173 00:06:44,137 --> 00:06:46,172 Why are you wearing it to your brother's big party? 174 00:06:46,172 --> 00:06:47,473 Because I have to. 175 00:06:47,473 --> 00:06:49,610 It's for Fu Man Choose Your Own Adventure, all right? 176 00:06:49,610 --> 00:06:51,277 If you want to play, we got a bunch of extra ones. 177 00:06:51,277 --> 00:06:52,746 Mook can't grow facial hair, so we need 'em. 178 00:06:52,746 --> 00:06:53,647 Yeah, right. 179 00:06:53,647 --> 00:06:56,550 I'll pass. 180 00:06:56,550 --> 00:06:58,351 Oh, aren't they adorable? 181 00:06:58,351 --> 00:07:00,053 Look how happy they are. 182 00:07:00,053 --> 00:07:00,987 Aw. 183 00:07:00,987 --> 00:07:02,523 When are you gonna find someone? 184 00:07:02,523 --> 00:07:03,289 Me? 185 00:07:03,289 --> 00:07:04,090 Uh, heh. 186 00:07:04,090 --> 00:07:04,891 I don't know. 187 00:07:04,891 --> 00:07:05,992 Not anytime soon. 188 00:07:05,992 --> 00:07:07,260 I don't want to, like, miss out on things. 189 00:07:07,260 --> 00:07:08,562 Things? What things? 190 00:07:08,562 --> 00:07:09,863 MOOK: Go, go. Yeah, yeah, I got it. 191 00:07:09,863 --> 00:07:11,031 I got it. ‐Relax your esophagus. 192 00:07:11,031 --> 00:07:12,198 Relax your esophagus. 193 00:07:12,198 --> 00:07:12,999 Relax. 194 00:07:12,999 --> 00:07:14,601 Relax. Relax. 195 00:07:14,601 --> 00:07:15,468 Go, go, go. 196 00:07:15,468 --> 00:07:16,469 More, more, more. 197 00:07:16,469 --> 00:07:17,838 Stuff like that, kind of. 198 00:07:17,838 --> 00:07:19,272 Not that, really. 199 00:07:19,272 --> 00:07:20,874 Not drinking from the ass of a goose. 200 00:07:20,874 --> 00:07:23,409 You know, even I am dating somebody now. 201 00:07:23,409 --> 00:07:24,678 Oh, no, I know. 202 00:07:24,678 --> 00:07:28,081 The point is, I‐‐ I‐‐ I'm very happy. 203 00:07:28,081 --> 00:07:31,317 And I want you to be happy too. 204 00:07:31,317 --> 00:07:34,387 David said that Katherine is coming tonight. 205 00:07:34,387 --> 00:07:37,290 And she RSVPed plus one. 206 00:07:37,290 --> 00:07:38,725 Oh, cool. Katherine's coming? 207 00:07:38,725 --> 00:07:39,860 That's great, yeah. 208 00:07:39,860 --> 00:07:41,928 Uh, she‐‐ yeah, she's coming with somebody, 209 00:07:41,928 --> 00:07:43,830 'cause she's over it, and I'm over it. 210 00:07:43,830 --> 00:07:45,198 And we're both over it. 211 00:07:45,198 --> 00:07:47,968 So that's‐‐ that's‐‐ I mean, that's‐‐ that's great. 212 00:07:47,968 --> 00:07:48,769 No problem here. 213 00:07:53,239 --> 00:07:54,040 Holy shit. 214 00:07:54,040 --> 00:07:55,141 Hey, man. 215 00:07:55,141 --> 00:07:56,910 Uh, we have a bit‐‐ little bit of a problem. 216 00:07:56,910 --> 00:07:57,878 Where are the guys? 217 00:07:57,878 --> 00:07:59,245 The guys. 218 00:07:59,245 --> 00:08:01,047 The guys are definitely not out flirting with your cousin, 219 00:08:01,047 --> 00:08:01,782 I know that. Why? 220 00:08:01,782 --> 00:08:02,583 What's up? 221 00:08:02,583 --> 00:08:03,950 Man, uh, okay 222 00:08:03,950 --> 00:08:05,385 Well, Katherine's on her way here. 223 00:08:05,385 --> 00:08:06,319 And you know what? 224 00:08:06,319 --> 00:08:07,721 She's bringing a date. So great. 225 00:08:07,721 --> 00:08:08,755 Good. 226 00:08:08,755 --> 00:08:10,223 Hey, Katherine, the one that got away. 227 00:08:10,223 --> 00:08:12,158 Yeah, you actually don't have to say that every time I‐‐ 228 00:08:12,158 --> 00:08:12,993 I bring her‐‐ her up. 229 00:08:12,993 --> 00:08:14,027 It's really annoying. 230 00:08:14,027 --> 00:08:15,529 You get so pissed off every time, man. 231 00:08:15,529 --> 00:08:16,763 Okay Well, you know what? 232 00:08:16,763 --> 00:08:17,898 It's not that funny. 233 00:08:17,898 --> 00:08:19,032 If it happened to you, it wouldn't be funny. 234 00:08:19,032 --> 00:08:20,100 It would never happen to me, because I've 235 00:08:20,100 --> 00:08:21,167 never been broken up with. 236 00:08:21,167 --> 00:08:23,537 Look, you're stressing out over nothing. 237 00:08:23,537 --> 00:08:25,572 She is probably dating some dork. 238 00:08:25,572 --> 00:08:26,940 I know this. ‐Okay, but‐‐ 239 00:08:26,940 --> 00:08:28,642 ‐Oh, my god, she just walked in. ‐Where? 240 00:08:28,642 --> 00:08:29,576 Oh, shit. 241 00:08:29,576 --> 00:08:31,011 This is my boyfriend, Mario. 242 00:08:31,011 --> 00:08:33,413 [stifled laughing] 243 00:08:33,413 --> 00:08:35,415 ADAM: You don't have to say it. 244 00:08:35,415 --> 00:08:37,718 BARRETT: I know I don't have to, but I have to. 245 00:08:37,718 --> 00:08:40,053 Your ex‐girlfriend is dating AC Slater! 246 00:08:40,053 --> 00:08:42,022 Oh, my god! 247 00:08:42,022 --> 00:08:43,023 Yeah, I know, dude. 248 00:08:43,023 --> 00:08:43,790 Okay? 249 00:08:43,790 --> 00:08:44,858 Oh, hey, Katherine! 250 00:08:44,858 --> 00:08:45,626 No, what are you doing? Shut the fuck up. 251 00:08:45,626 --> 00:08:46,727 Hey. 252 00:08:46,727 --> 00:08:47,861 What do you mean, what am I doing? 253 00:08:47,861 --> 00:08:48,962 This is, like, the greatest day of our lives! 254 00:08:48,962 --> 00:08:50,230 ADAM: No, it's a shitty day of my life, man. 255 00:08:50,230 --> 00:08:51,364 You're being selfish. 256 00:08:51,364 --> 00:08:52,599 ‐How am I being selfish? ‐Just get it together. 257 00:08:52,599 --> 00:08:53,399 Hey, guys. 258 00:08:53,399 --> 00:08:54,334 Hi. 259 00:08:54,334 --> 00:08:55,335 Mario, this is Adam. 260 00:08:55,335 --> 00:08:56,136 Hey. 261 00:08:56,136 --> 00:08:57,303 Hey, how are you? 262 00:08:57,303 --> 00:08:58,371 ‐Barrett. ‐Yeah. 263 00:08:58,371 --> 00:08:59,640 ‐Big fan. ‐Oh. 264 00:08:59,640 --> 00:09:00,574 BARRETT: Huge fan. 265 00:09:00,574 --> 00:09:01,808 And not of the hosting bullshit. 266 00:09:01,808 --> 00:09:03,443 But you know. 267 00:09:03,443 --> 00:09:04,377 You know. 268 00:09:04,377 --> 00:09:06,179 Yeah, yeah, I can probably guess. 269 00:09:06,179 --> 00:09:07,280 (DISCREETLY) "Saved by the Bell." 270 00:09:07,280 --> 00:09:08,148 [laughs] 271 00:09:08,148 --> 00:09:09,115 That's it, man. 272 00:09:09,115 --> 00:09:10,350 Oh. 273 00:09:10,350 --> 00:09:13,186 I like the, uh‐‐ the‐‐ that you got going on there. 274 00:09:13,186 --> 00:09:14,487 Oh, heh. Uh, yeah. 275 00:09:14,487 --> 00:09:15,522 Oh, it's not real. 276 00:09:15,522 --> 00:09:16,657 I‐‐ I didn't get the memo. 277 00:09:16,657 --> 00:09:17,858 I'm sorry. 278 00:09:17,858 --> 00:09:19,860 Yeah, no, it's just something we do every year. 279 00:09:19,860 --> 00:09:21,662 It's called Fu Man‐‐ BOTH: Choose Your Own Adventure. 280 00:09:21,662 --> 00:09:22,863 Yeah. 281 00:09:22,863 --> 00:09:23,864 I can't believe it's that time of year again, huh? 282 00:09:23,864 --> 00:09:26,266 I‐‐ I‐‐ I can't believe it. 283 00:09:26,266 --> 00:09:27,868 BARRETT: Hey, maybe next year you could join us. 284 00:09:27,868 --> 00:09:28,669 Yeah. Well, that's the whole thing. 285 00:09:28,669 --> 00:09:29,570 But yeah. I mean, maybe. 286 00:09:29,570 --> 00:09:31,137 But‐‐ ‐He could totally join us. 287 00:09:31,137 --> 00:09:32,405 Yeah, I know, but I'm talking about‐‐ 288 00:09:32,405 --> 00:09:33,707 Maybe. Heh. 289 00:09:33,707 --> 00:09:34,908 Uh, excuse me, guys. 290 00:09:34,908 --> 00:09:35,942 I gotta use the restroom. 291 00:09:35,942 --> 00:09:36,977 Honey, Okay, I'll‐‐ I'll be right back. 292 00:09:36,977 --> 00:09:38,645 ‐Okay ‐Oh, that's so crazy. 293 00:09:38,645 --> 00:09:39,546 I have to go too. 294 00:09:39,546 --> 00:09:40,480 'K. 295 00:09:40,480 --> 00:09:41,481 I'll try to sneak a peek for you. 296 00:09:41,481 --> 00:09:42,583 Don't do that. 297 00:09:42,583 --> 00:09:43,884 Hey. 298 00:09:43,884 --> 00:09:46,086 Hey There 299 00:09:46,086 --> 00:09:46,887 How is everything? 300 00:09:46,887 --> 00:09:48,121 Really good. 301 00:09:48,121 --> 00:09:50,090 God, it's so funny you asked, 'cause, uh, just, uh, 302 00:09:50,090 --> 00:09:51,324 been doing good stuff. 303 00:09:51,324 --> 00:09:52,392 Yeah, wow. 304 00:09:52,392 --> 00:09:53,459 I can't believe you're dating AC Slater. 305 00:09:53,459 --> 00:09:54,427 That's crazy. 306 00:09:54,427 --> 00:09:55,461 Well, actually, his name is Mario‐‐ 307 00:09:55,461 --> 00:09:56,296 Albert Clifford Slater. 308 00:09:56,296 --> 00:09:57,097 No, I know his name. 309 00:09:57,097 --> 00:09:58,198 Heh‐heh. 310 00:09:58,198 --> 00:09:59,800 It's so weird because a few years ago, uh, 311 00:09:59,800 --> 00:10:01,234 we were just on your couch watching 312 00:10:01,234 --> 00:10:02,569 "Saved by the Bell" reruns. 313 00:10:02,569 --> 00:10:04,605 And now, I just can't believe Slater's been inside you, 314 00:10:04,605 --> 00:10:05,706 you know? 315 00:10:05,706 --> 00:10:07,874 It's like‐‐ uh, but what are the odds, huh? 316 00:10:07,874 --> 00:10:09,543 I‐‐ I really don't know the odds to that. 317 00:10:09,543 --> 00:10:11,344 [glass clinking] 318 00:10:11,344 --> 00:10:13,046 Everybody, can I have your attention 319 00:10:13,046 --> 00:10:14,548 for one second, please? 320 00:10:14,548 --> 00:10:18,051 I think it's time we should toast my beautiful girlfriend, 321 00:10:18,051 --> 00:10:19,252 Amanda. 322 00:10:19,252 --> 00:10:23,557 She‐‐ she passed the bar today and is officially 323 00:10:23,557 --> 00:10:25,191 a bloodsucking lawyer. 324 00:10:25,191 --> 00:10:27,894 TOGETHER: Hear, hear. 325 00:10:27,894 --> 00:10:30,897 I just want to say, in all seriousness, 326 00:10:30,897 --> 00:10:35,235 that I'm so proud of you, hon. 327 00:10:35,235 --> 00:10:40,273 And I'm proud of who I've become since knowing you. 328 00:10:40,273 --> 00:10:43,877 I know that I could spend the rest of my life with you. 329 00:10:43,877 --> 00:10:44,645 So, um‐‐ 330 00:10:47,981 --> 00:10:48,915 [gasps] 331 00:10:48,915 --> 00:10:50,951 Amanda will you marry me? 332 00:10:55,722 --> 00:10:56,723 Yes! 333 00:10:56,723 --> 00:10:58,358 Oh, my god, yes! 334 00:10:58,358 --> 00:11:00,727 [applause] 335 00:11:00,727 --> 00:11:02,996 [yelling] 336 00:11:02,996 --> 00:11:06,667 Who's ready for Fu Man Choose Your Own Adventure? 337 00:11:13,473 --> 00:11:16,076 Are we not playing today? 338 00:11:16,076 --> 00:11:18,278 [can clatters] 339 00:11:18,278 --> 00:11:20,346 Guys could've sent an email or something. 340 00:11:24,284 --> 00:11:25,051 Awesome. 341 00:11:34,427 --> 00:11:37,330 [faint conversation] 342 00:11:42,803 --> 00:11:44,605 Nice boobs. 343 00:11:44,605 --> 00:11:47,541 [music playing inside house] 344 00:11:52,478 --> 00:11:53,313 Morning. 345 00:11:53,313 --> 00:11:54,114 ADAM: Hey. 346 00:11:54,114 --> 00:11:55,348 Hey. 347 00:11:55,348 --> 00:11:57,518 I just saw a couple of unsatisfied women out there. 348 00:11:57,518 --> 00:11:58,819 Who disappointed them last night? 349 00:11:58,819 --> 00:12:01,722 Uh, I think maybe they're disappointed in themselves. 350 00:12:01,722 --> 00:12:03,423 This place, uh, looks disgusting. 351 00:12:03,423 --> 00:12:07,060 I'm glad you guys cleaned up for the draft. 352 00:12:07,060 --> 00:12:08,762 Hey, guys, how's it going? 353 00:12:08,762 --> 00:12:09,796 How are you doing, David? 354 00:12:09,796 --> 00:12:10,597 Good morning. 355 00:12:10,597 --> 00:12:11,665 [chuckles] 356 00:12:11,665 --> 00:12:13,534 Uh, quick question. 357 00:12:13,534 --> 00:12:18,404 Who was texting Casey last night posing as my angry wife? 358 00:12:18,404 --> 00:12:19,940 [chuckles] 359 00:12:19,940 --> 00:12:21,842 Let me explain to you something about Casey, okay? 360 00:12:21,842 --> 00:12:23,409 She is very young. 361 00:12:23,409 --> 00:12:24,811 She's impressionable. 362 00:12:24,811 --> 00:12:27,047 She believed I was a state senator. 363 00:12:27,047 --> 00:12:27,848 Why? 364 00:12:27,848 --> 00:12:29,149 Because I have a beard. 365 00:12:29,149 --> 00:12:31,351 Now, who did it? 366 00:12:31,351 --> 00:12:32,686 No one? 367 00:12:32,686 --> 00:12:33,720 Okay, wow. 368 00:12:33,720 --> 00:12:35,055 Guess what. 369 00:12:35,055 --> 00:12:36,089 Vengeance will be mine. 370 00:12:36,089 --> 00:12:37,658 Are you guys still declaring vengeance? 371 00:12:37,658 --> 00:12:38,592 What is that? 372 00:12:38,592 --> 00:12:39,860 Are you guys, like, 15? 373 00:12:39,860 --> 00:12:40,861 [door opens] 374 00:12:40,861 --> 00:12:41,862 Hey. 375 00:12:41,862 --> 00:12:43,263 What the fuck happened to this place? 376 00:12:43,263 --> 00:12:44,765 Pussypop! 377 00:12:44,765 --> 00:12:45,799 HOWIE: Pussypop! 378 00:12:45,799 --> 00:12:47,601 Hey, I'm a grown‐ass man with a family. 379 00:12:47,601 --> 00:12:49,369 Y'all gotta stop calling me Pussypop, man. 380 00:12:49,369 --> 00:12:50,170 [phone vibrates] 381 00:12:50,170 --> 00:12:50,971 Hey, baby. 382 00:12:50,971 --> 00:12:51,905 What's up, buttercup? 383 00:12:51,905 --> 00:12:53,239 Oh, buttercup‐‐ that's a new one. 384 00:12:53,239 --> 00:12:55,075 Buttercup, I love you. 385 00:12:55,075 --> 00:12:56,943 You guys haven't changed one bit. 386 00:12:56,943 --> 00:12:57,744 Thank you. 387 00:12:57,744 --> 00:12:59,045 Not a compliment. 388 00:12:59,045 --> 00:12:59,880 BARRETT: Oh, shit. 389 00:12:59,880 --> 00:13:01,181 What's going on? 390 00:13:01,181 --> 00:13:01,982 MOOK: Barrett. 391 00:13:01,982 --> 00:13:03,049 It's cool. 392 00:13:03,049 --> 00:13:05,118 That's why we got the backup generator. 393 00:13:05,118 --> 00:13:06,887 (MOCKINGLY) "This is why we got a backup generator." 394 00:13:06,887 --> 00:13:08,855 They usually send a final warning first. 395 00:13:08,855 --> 00:13:10,123 They do. 396 00:13:10,123 --> 00:13:11,291 DAVID: All right, it's gonna be okay 397 00:13:11,291 --> 00:13:12,492 Just don't‐‐ I love you. 398 00:13:12,492 --> 00:13:13,459 Okay 399 00:13:13,459 --> 00:13:14,595 How's the wife, David? 400 00:13:14,595 --> 00:13:15,962 Don't say "wife." 401 00:13:15,962 --> 00:13:18,131 We haven't been to his funeral yet. 402 00:13:18,131 --> 00:13:19,766 Sorry, Pussypop. 403 00:13:19,766 --> 00:13:21,902 Please stop acting like my wedding was a funeral. 404 00:13:21,902 --> 00:13:23,136 Miss you, Pussypop. 405 00:13:23,136 --> 00:13:24,237 This is for you, home. 406 00:13:24,237 --> 00:13:25,005 PUSSYPOP: I'm alive! 407 00:13:29,776 --> 00:13:30,577 MAN: Morning, dude. 408 00:13:30,577 --> 00:13:31,344 Morning. 409 00:13:37,984 --> 00:13:38,919 Good morning, sunshine. 410 00:13:38,919 --> 00:13:39,720 Hey. 411 00:13:39,720 --> 00:13:41,387 You feel out your baggy yet? 412 00:13:41,387 --> 00:13:42,656 What the hell are you talking about? 413 00:13:42,656 --> 00:13:44,490 Mm. 414 00:13:44,490 --> 00:13:46,560 Check your email, shemale. 415 00:13:46,560 --> 00:13:47,994 Howie made a March Madness tournament 416 00:13:47,994 --> 00:13:50,030 of all the hot chicks Mario Lopez has fucked. 417 00:13:50,030 --> 00:13:52,733 Katherine is up against the Victoria's Secret model 418 00:13:52,733 --> 00:13:53,867 in the first round. 419 00:13:53,867 --> 00:13:54,768 She's a two‐seed. 420 00:13:54,768 --> 00:13:55,869 Congrats, baby. 421 00:13:55,869 --> 00:13:57,938 Does Howie ever actually do any work at work? 422 00:13:57,938 --> 00:13:59,339 Never. 423 00:13:59,339 --> 00:14:03,610 Oh, we also just got the Evite for Miles' big Halloween party. 424 00:14:03,610 --> 00:14:04,911 What are we gonna be this year? 425 00:14:04,911 --> 00:14:06,847 Uh, you know, I'm‐‐ I don't want 426 00:14:06,847 --> 00:14:08,481 to do a group costume again. 427 00:14:08,481 --> 00:14:09,716 Nah. 428 00:14:09,716 --> 00:14:11,084 We'll think of something cool. 429 00:14:15,956 --> 00:14:16,890 Morning, Adam. 430 00:14:16,890 --> 00:14:17,824 Hey, Mook. 431 00:14:17,824 --> 00:14:18,659 Hey. 432 00:14:18,659 --> 00:14:20,026 Are you guys going to be long? 433 00:14:20,026 --> 00:14:21,562 Yeah, might be a few minutes. Go for it. 434 00:14:21,562 --> 00:14:22,328 Oh, thanks. 435 00:14:26,633 --> 00:14:30,070 "Adam's Fantasy Midseason Report Card?" 436 00:14:30,070 --> 00:14:31,437 Very work‐related, I'm sure. 437 00:14:31,437 --> 00:14:32,739 Well, it helps me get through the day, 438 00:14:32,739 --> 00:14:34,240 so it's got to count for something, huh? 439 00:14:34,240 --> 00:14:35,208 MOOK: Hey, Beth. 440 00:14:35,208 --> 00:14:36,442 You going to Lyle's Halloween party? 441 00:14:36,442 --> 00:14:37,711 BETH: Guess that depends. 442 00:14:37,711 --> 00:14:40,614 Are you guys going dressed as the Spice Girls again? 443 00:14:40,614 --> 00:14:43,016 Oh, for the record, I immediately regretted that. 444 00:14:43,016 --> 00:14:44,384 I didn't regret shit. 445 00:14:44,384 --> 00:14:47,120 I'm Scary Spice till I D‐I‐E, dawg. 446 00:14:47,120 --> 00:14:48,321 Oh, god. 447 00:14:48,321 --> 00:14:50,090 Um, are you gonna shave your legs again this year? 448 00:14:50,090 --> 00:14:51,024 Oh, well, not for Halloween. 449 00:14:54,094 --> 00:14:55,028 All right, I'm out of here. 450 00:14:55,028 --> 00:14:55,829 Thank you. 451 00:14:55,829 --> 00:14:57,063 Yeah. 452 00:14:57,063 --> 00:15:00,567 Sorry you have to think about my legs right now. 453 00:15:00,567 --> 00:15:03,236 Apology unaccepted. 454 00:15:03,236 --> 00:15:07,407 So we are just openly hitting on Beth now? 455 00:15:07,407 --> 00:15:08,509 No, I'm just messing around. 456 00:15:08,509 --> 00:15:10,176 Come on, she always has a boyfriend anyway. 457 00:15:10,176 --> 00:15:11,578 Never stopped me before, big dog. 458 00:15:11,578 --> 00:15:12,613 Up top. 459 00:15:12,613 --> 00:15:14,080 I don't‐‐ I'm not gonna high‐five you. 460 00:15:14,080 --> 00:15:15,048 Little pinkie? 461 00:15:15,048 --> 00:15:16,182 Okay, fine, there. MOOK: There you go. 462 00:15:16,182 --> 00:15:17,417 There you go. ‐Good, you happy? 463 00:15:17,417 --> 00:15:18,351 MOOK: Mm‐hmm. 464 00:15:18,351 --> 00:15:19,586 Adam, I was just calling your desk. 465 00:15:19,586 --> 00:15:20,587 I have a package for you. 466 00:15:20,587 --> 00:15:23,690 Oh, cool. 467 00:15:23,690 --> 00:15:24,725 So how was your weekend? 468 00:15:24,725 --> 00:15:25,759 It was great. 469 00:15:25,759 --> 00:15:27,794 I tried pineapple for the first time. 470 00:15:27,794 --> 00:15:29,129 So I've been wanting to talk to you. 471 00:15:29,129 --> 00:15:30,897 One of my friends from college just moved here, 472 00:15:30,897 --> 00:15:32,633 and she doesn't know anybody. 473 00:15:32,633 --> 00:15:34,768 And so I was worrying if any guys I worked with‐‐ 474 00:15:34,768 --> 00:15:35,602 Wait, okay 475 00:15:35,602 --> 00:15:37,270 What does she do for a living? 476 00:15:37,270 --> 00:15:38,639 She may be an actress. 477 00:15:38,639 --> 00:15:39,573 Okay, no. 478 00:15:39,573 --> 00:15:40,541 We've been over this before. 479 00:15:40,541 --> 00:15:41,642 Come on. 480 00:15:41,642 --> 00:15:43,309 I know, but I really think you'd like her. 481 00:15:43,309 --> 00:15:45,211 I mean, I know you're super begin into Asian girls, 482 00:15:45,211 --> 00:15:46,412 but she's really pretty. 483 00:15:46,412 --> 00:15:47,948 Wait, why do you think I'm big into Asian girls? 484 00:15:47,948 --> 00:15:49,916 Well, Mook showed me a picture of your ex. 485 00:15:49,916 --> 00:15:52,252 She's gorgeous‐‐ definitely final four potential. 486 00:15:52,252 --> 00:15:53,053 Yes. 487 00:15:53,053 --> 00:15:54,087 Really? 488 00:15:54,087 --> 00:15:55,856 All right, let me help you with this. 489 00:15:55,856 --> 00:15:56,657 Look at that thing. 490 00:15:56,657 --> 00:15:59,059 Who's it from? 491 00:15:59,059 --> 00:16:00,393 Says it's from you. 492 00:16:00,393 --> 00:16:01,261 Oh, no, no, no wait! 493 00:16:01,261 --> 00:16:03,429 Whoa, shit. 494 00:16:03,429 --> 00:16:04,430 Sorry. 495 00:16:04,430 --> 00:16:06,232 My roommate is declaring vengeance on us. 496 00:16:06,232 --> 00:16:09,335 RICHTMAN: Jamie, [inaudible] called to‐‐ oh. 497 00:16:09,335 --> 00:16:10,236 Hey. 498 00:16:10,236 --> 00:16:12,072 What is that? 499 00:16:12,072 --> 00:16:14,007 Is that for me or‐‐ 500 00:16:14,007 --> 00:16:16,743 No, it's, uh, for me. 501 00:16:16,743 --> 00:16:18,311 Or, I mean, it could be‐‐ if you want it. 502 00:16:18,311 --> 00:16:19,580 You don't want it. 503 00:16:19,580 --> 00:16:20,681 ‐No, I don't want it. ‐Of course you don't want it. 504 00:16:20,681 --> 00:16:21,481 Um‐‐ 505 00:16:21,481 --> 00:16:22,482 What is wrong with you guys? 506 00:16:22,482 --> 00:16:23,249 Seriously. 507 00:16:23,249 --> 00:16:24,117 What's your name? 508 00:16:24,117 --> 00:16:25,218 Mook. 509 00:16:25,218 --> 00:16:26,386 RICHTMAN: Mook, I'd expect this from you. 510 00:16:26,386 --> 00:16:28,288 But you, Aaron? 511 00:16:28,288 --> 00:16:29,122 Adam. 512 00:16:29,122 --> 00:16:29,923 RICHTMAN: Adam? 513 00:16:29,923 --> 00:16:31,091 You think that matters? 514 00:16:31,091 --> 00:16:33,259 You're holding a‐‐ a vase of dicks. 515 00:16:33,259 --> 00:16:34,460 Point taken. 516 00:16:34,460 --> 00:16:35,395 Come on! 517 00:16:35,395 --> 00:16:37,463 It's a national lacrosse league. 518 00:16:37,463 --> 00:16:39,332 This is disappointing. 519 00:16:39,332 --> 00:16:41,267 Put those dicks somewhere. 520 00:16:41,267 --> 00:16:43,369 Can he say‐‐ he'd say that to us. 521 00:16:43,369 --> 00:16:44,505 I'll take care of it. 522 00:16:44,505 --> 00:16:45,772 I‐‐ you guys shouldn't have to deal with this. 523 00:16:45,772 --> 00:16:47,574 I have a‐‐ I have a place for them. 524 00:16:47,574 --> 00:16:48,441 [chuckles] 525 00:16:50,310 --> 00:16:51,512 Sorry. ‐It's really inappropriate. 526 00:16:51,512 --> 00:16:52,278 ADAM: All right. 527 00:16:57,651 --> 00:17:01,087 You smell so good. 528 00:17:01,087 --> 00:17:02,789 You guys thirsty? 529 00:17:02,789 --> 00:17:03,590 Hmm? 530 00:17:03,590 --> 00:17:07,861 [music playing] 531 00:17:07,861 --> 00:17:11,031 LYLE: Everybody, I need your attention up here to the stage. 532 00:17:11,031 --> 00:17:12,666 Everyone, look at me. 533 00:17:12,666 --> 00:17:13,499 All right! 534 00:17:13,499 --> 00:17:15,268 How much do we love Halloween? 535 00:17:15,268 --> 00:17:16,737 [all cheering] 536 00:17:16,737 --> 00:17:18,672 All right! 537 00:17:18,672 --> 00:17:23,076 And the winner is the Ghostbusters! 538 00:17:23,076 --> 00:17:25,979 [loud cheering] 539 00:17:29,415 --> 00:17:30,416 Hey. 540 00:17:30,416 --> 00:17:31,552 Hey, how are you? 541 00:17:31,552 --> 00:17:33,219 You guys were robbed, by the way. 542 00:17:33,219 --> 00:17:34,420 I know, yeah. 543 00:17:34,420 --> 00:17:36,456 What made you guys decide to be a group of turds? 544 00:17:36,456 --> 00:17:38,158 Well, we were supposed to California Raisins, 545 00:17:38,158 --> 00:17:38,959 and you know that. 546 00:17:38,959 --> 00:17:40,060 Yeah, I know. 547 00:17:40,060 --> 00:17:41,194 That's actually pretty cool. 548 00:17:41,194 --> 00:17:42,696 I haven't had a group costume since college. 549 00:17:42,696 --> 00:17:43,463 Smile. 550 00:17:47,200 --> 00:17:50,804 Uh, cat and cat shit? 551 00:17:50,804 --> 00:17:52,172 I guess you can't say that anymore, huh? 552 00:17:52,172 --> 00:17:53,674 Guess not. 553 00:17:53,674 --> 00:17:54,675 JUSTIN: Hey. 554 00:17:54,675 --> 00:17:55,676 Oh, hey! 555 00:17:55,676 --> 00:17:56,476 Hey. 556 00:17:56,476 --> 00:17:58,011 Hey, you made it. 557 00:17:58,011 --> 00:17:59,279 Um, Justin, Adam. 558 00:17:59,279 --> 00:18:00,080 Adam, Justin. 559 00:18:00,080 --> 00:18:01,081 I‐‐ I work with Adam. 560 00:18:01,081 --> 00:18:01,982 Oh. Hey, Adam. 561 00:18:01,982 --> 00:18:02,783 Hey. 562 00:18:02,783 --> 00:18:03,717 It's nice to meet you. 563 00:18:03,717 --> 00:18:05,151 Yeah, nice to meet you too, man. 564 00:18:05,151 --> 00:18:06,252 Uh, what'd you come as? 565 00:18:06,252 --> 00:18:07,353 Oh, uh‐‐ 566 00:18:07,353 --> 00:18:08,755 Oh, he just‐‐ he came straight from work. 567 00:18:08,755 --> 00:18:09,890 Hey, you look thirsty. 568 00:18:09,890 --> 00:18:10,957 What are you drinking? 569 00:18:10,957 --> 00:18:11,858 Uh, I don't know. 570 00:18:11,858 --> 00:18:12,993 Let's get this party started. 571 00:18:12,993 --> 00:18:14,060 We'll do some Jagerbombs, huh? 572 00:18:14,060 --> 00:18:15,862 [laughs] 573 00:18:15,862 --> 00:18:16,930 Jagerbombs. 574 00:18:16,930 --> 00:18:18,231 All right, you're really taking me back. 575 00:18:18,231 --> 00:18:19,533 I mean, while we're at it, why don't we 576 00:18:19,533 --> 00:18:20,567 get some Long Island Iced Teas? 577 00:18:20,567 --> 00:18:22,669 [friends calling] 578 00:18:22,669 --> 00:18:24,337 Uh, you guys are joking. 579 00:18:24,337 --> 00:18:25,171 Obviously you're kidding. 580 00:18:25,171 --> 00:18:26,206 Yeah, I get it. 581 00:18:26,206 --> 00:18:27,808 Uh, listen, um, just order me whatever. 582 00:18:27,808 --> 00:18:28,642 I'll be right back. 583 00:18:28,642 --> 00:18:29,442 Excuse me. 584 00:18:29,442 --> 00:18:30,376 Hey, Ro. What's going on? 585 00:18:30,376 --> 00:18:31,411 I'm trying to have a conversation. 586 00:18:31,411 --> 00:18:32,445 You interrupted me. 587 00:18:32,445 --> 00:18:33,446 Yeah, with the girl and her boyfriend 588 00:18:33,446 --> 00:18:34,781 who's like a grown man. 589 00:18:34,781 --> 00:18:36,282 Look, look, look, that doesn't even matter right now, okay? 590 00:18:36,282 --> 00:18:40,120 What matters is is that Barrett is talking shit to those hack 591 00:18:40,120 --> 00:18:41,221 Ghostbusters over there. 592 00:18:41,221 --> 00:18:42,455 It's about to get ugly, dude. 593 00:18:42,455 --> 00:18:43,189 BARRETT: I ain't afraid of no ghosts, man! 594 00:18:43,189 --> 00:18:44,691 Oh, shit. Oh, it's on! 595 00:18:44,691 --> 00:18:45,626 Okay, man. You got Egon. 596 00:18:45,626 --> 00:18:46,560 Wait. 597 00:18:46,560 --> 00:18:47,828 Which one's Egon? The black one? 598 00:18:47,828 --> 00:18:48,662 No! 599 00:18:48,662 --> 00:18:49,963 All right, sorry. 600 00:18:49,963 --> 00:18:53,366 Um, it's even numbers, so I'm gonna sit this one out. 601 00:18:53,366 --> 00:18:54,334 Right here! 602 00:18:54,334 --> 00:18:55,301 Right here! 603 00:18:59,439 --> 00:19:00,240 Wait. 604 00:19:00,240 --> 00:19:01,207 What? 605 00:19:01,207 --> 00:19:02,375 ‐Your mustache. ‐Okay 606 00:19:02,375 --> 00:19:03,143 Okay 607 00:19:09,550 --> 00:19:10,584 Adam, Adam, okay 608 00:19:10,584 --> 00:19:12,819 There are two horny devils over there. 609 00:19:12,819 --> 00:19:14,020 I'm gonna need you to be my wingman. 610 00:19:14,020 --> 00:19:14,821 Hey, hold on. 611 00:19:14,821 --> 00:19:15,822 I want to go to talk Beth. 612 00:19:15,822 --> 00:19:17,257 Wingman, dude! 613 00:19:22,596 --> 00:19:25,498 What are you dressed‐‐ as some kind of old‐timey prostitute? 614 00:19:25,498 --> 00:19:28,502 Unless you are a modern prostitute. 615 00:19:28,502 --> 00:19:29,836 Compliment! 616 00:19:29,836 --> 00:19:31,437 [cowbell ringing] 617 00:19:31,437 --> 00:19:32,305 Wait, Mook, no, don't. 618 00:19:32,305 --> 00:19:33,106 Don't, Mook. 619 00:19:33,106 --> 00:19:36,042 After‐party our place! 620 00:19:36,042 --> 00:19:38,411 [cheering] 621 00:19:39,913 --> 00:19:42,816 (SINGING) South Central does it like nobody does. 622 00:19:42,816 --> 00:19:44,918 This is how we do it. 623 00:19:44,918 --> 00:19:46,152 Something, something. 624 00:19:46,152 --> 00:19:47,788 So it's 3:00 in the morning, and you're at our house, 625 00:19:47,788 --> 00:19:49,823 and you have a boyfriend. 626 00:19:49,823 --> 00:19:52,058 Thanks for not opening with that. 627 00:19:52,058 --> 00:19:53,426 HOWIE: Gabrus, you smell like herb. 628 00:19:53,426 --> 00:19:54,828 [inaudible]. 629 00:19:54,828 --> 00:19:56,663 Gotta get your groove on. 630 00:19:56,663 --> 00:19:59,566 Did you see that thing? 631 00:19:59,566 --> 00:20:00,500 LANDLORD: Howie. 632 00:20:00,500 --> 00:20:02,603 HOWIE: Hey, hey, it's my landlord. 633 00:20:02,603 --> 00:20:03,369 LANDLORD: You're out. 634 00:20:03,369 --> 00:20:04,771 Why do you like me? 635 00:20:04,771 --> 00:20:07,107 Why don't you just like me? 636 00:20:07,107 --> 00:20:09,442 HOWIE: I mean, this is honestly an enormous shocker. 637 00:20:09,442 --> 00:20:10,944 LANDLORD: And I haven't received rent. 638 00:20:10,944 --> 00:20:13,413 This is the third time I've been here this month. 639 00:20:13,413 --> 00:20:14,548 Your move. 640 00:20:14,548 --> 00:20:15,849 HOWIE: You know, man. I mean, what is this? 641 00:20:15,849 --> 00:20:17,283 LANDLORD: That's it. I'm done. 642 00:20:20,453 --> 00:20:23,590 Okay, the bad news is, that was the landlord. 643 00:20:23,590 --> 00:20:25,358 Barrett didn't mail our rent. 644 00:20:25,358 --> 00:20:27,327 So we're evicted. 645 00:20:27,327 --> 00:20:32,398 But, uh, the good news is, we ain't got nothing left to lose! 646 00:20:32,398 --> 00:20:35,068 Crank up the music, Mooker! 647 00:20:35,068 --> 00:20:36,570 Let's fucking go! Go! 648 00:20:36,570 --> 00:20:37,403 Go! 649 00:20:37,403 --> 00:20:39,072 Go! 650 00:20:39,072 --> 00:20:40,674 Yeah! 651 00:20:40,674 --> 00:20:42,643 [chuckling] 652 00:20:44,177 --> 00:20:45,145 Whoa. 653 00:20:45,145 --> 00:20:46,146 What's going on? 654 00:20:46,146 --> 00:20:46,947 Hey. 655 00:20:46,947 --> 00:20:49,149 Hey, hey, hey, hey. 656 00:20:49,149 --> 00:20:50,116 Where are you going? 657 00:20:50,116 --> 00:20:51,818 I'm fucking out of here, dude. 658 00:20:51,818 --> 00:20:52,719 No, no. 659 00:20:52,719 --> 00:20:54,320 You were in with the toad. 660 00:20:54,320 --> 00:20:55,656 You've done so much worse before. 661 00:20:55,656 --> 00:20:56,623 Come on. ‐Not tonight, dude. 662 00:20:56,623 --> 00:20:57,423 Come on. 663 00:20:57,423 --> 00:20:58,324 HOWIE: What's the matter? 664 00:20:58,324 --> 00:20:59,626 Nothing's the matter, dude. 665 00:20:59,626 --> 00:21:01,662 I'm just not fucking feeling it, all right? 666 00:21:01,662 --> 00:21:04,164 I'm just‐‐ I'm‐‐ I'm done wasting time, all right? 667 00:21:04,164 --> 00:21:04,965 Wasting what? 668 00:21:04,965 --> 00:21:05,966 What? 669 00:21:05,966 --> 00:21:07,100 Man, we're always living like this, 670 00:21:07,100 --> 00:21:08,802 like we're still living like we're in college. 671 00:21:08,802 --> 00:21:09,703 What's wrong with college? 672 00:21:09,703 --> 00:21:10,737 ADAM: Listen to me, man. 673 00:21:10,737 --> 00:21:12,372 We're getting evicted, dude. 674 00:21:12,372 --> 00:21:14,508 And my brother's getting married. 675 00:21:14,508 --> 00:21:16,176 My boss thinks I'm a pervert. 676 00:21:16,176 --> 00:21:18,278 Newsflash‐‐ he's kinda right. 677 00:21:18,278 --> 00:21:20,647 Should I call my girlfriend for some device? 678 00:21:20,647 --> 00:21:22,616 Oh, no, I can't do that, because she's 679 00:21:22,616 --> 00:21:24,317 dating a superstar celebrity. 680 00:21:24,317 --> 00:21:25,251 And guess what I am? 681 00:21:25,251 --> 00:21:27,020 A California Raisin. 682 00:21:27,020 --> 00:21:28,955 Hey, we are all raisins, baby! 683 00:21:28,955 --> 00:21:29,956 Yeah, we are all raisins. 684 00:21:29,956 --> 00:21:30,757 [inaudible] 685 00:21:30,757 --> 00:21:31,925 Raisins for life. 686 00:21:31,925 --> 00:21:33,560 You're not supposed to be happy about that 687 00:21:33,560 --> 00:21:35,896 is my whole point, is that we're all raisins, and great. 688 00:21:35,896 --> 00:21:37,230 That's not a good fucking thing. 689 00:21:37,230 --> 00:21:39,900 We live every day, and every day is always the same, 690 00:21:39,900 --> 00:21:40,967 day in and day out, right? 691 00:21:40,967 --> 00:21:41,868 We're going to bars. 692 00:21:41,868 --> 00:21:42,936 We get into bar fights. 693 00:21:42,936 --> 00:21:44,137 We go into karaokes. 694 00:21:44,137 --> 00:21:45,639 We do karaoke sings, okay? 695 00:21:45,639 --> 00:21:47,307 I work for lacrosse, dude. 696 00:21:47,307 --> 00:21:49,009 And that's not cool. 697 00:21:49,009 --> 00:21:51,678 It was supposed to be a stepping stone, but now it's my career. 698 00:21:51,678 --> 00:21:53,580 I‐‐ I try to meet a girl. 699 00:21:53,580 --> 00:21:54,815 I can't do that, okay? 700 00:21:54,815 --> 00:21:56,717 What about the girl that works in my office, Beth? 701 00:21:56,717 --> 00:21:58,418 She doesn't want to go out with a guy who can't put 702 00:21:58,418 --> 00:21:59,720 [inaudible] on his shoulders. 703 00:21:59,720 --> 00:22:01,354 She doesn't want to go out with a guy who doesn't 704 00:22:01,354 --> 00:22:03,123 have a nice watch collection. 705 00:22:03,123 --> 00:22:04,224 I have one watch. 706 00:22:04,224 --> 00:22:05,291 It's rubber and it's orange. 707 00:22:05,291 --> 00:22:07,427 And I don't even know where it is, dude. 708 00:22:07,427 --> 00:22:09,162 I have no dentist, okay? 709 00:22:09,162 --> 00:22:11,297 I don't know how to open a bottle of wine. 710 00:22:11,297 --> 00:22:12,833 I try to open up a bottle of wine. 711 00:22:12,833 --> 00:22:14,768 Every time I try to open a bottle of wine, 712 00:22:14,768 --> 00:22:15,936 the cork goes in the wine. 713 00:22:15,936 --> 00:22:18,138 And I'm always like, who gives a shit? 714 00:22:18,138 --> 00:22:19,305 I'll‐‐ I'll drink this shit anyway. 715 00:22:19,305 --> 00:22:20,406 And‐‐ 716 00:22:20,406 --> 00:22:21,675 HOWIE: What the fuck are you talking about? 717 00:22:21,675 --> 00:22:22,843 I'll tell you right now. 718 00:22:22,843 --> 00:22:25,478 I‐‐ I fucking have a cork inside me right now. 719 00:22:25,478 --> 00:22:27,447 And I'm gonna‐‐ and right now is the moment where I'm going 720 00:22:27,447 --> 00:22:30,050 to start to give a shit. 721 00:22:30,050 --> 00:22:32,118 Because I don't‐‐ I'm not going to have a cork in me anymore, 722 00:22:32,118 --> 00:22:32,886 and I'm done. 723 00:22:36,122 --> 00:22:37,524 Wait, are you breaking up with us, dude? 724 00:22:40,360 --> 00:22:43,830 Yeah, I think I‐‐ I think I am breaking up with you guys. 725 00:22:43,830 --> 00:22:47,000 Because we could use some time apart. 726 00:22:47,000 --> 00:22:48,001 Wow. 727 00:22:48,001 --> 00:22:49,903 You son of a bitch! 728 00:22:49,903 --> 00:22:50,871 All right, dude. 729 00:22:50,871 --> 00:22:52,072 What? 730 00:22:52,072 --> 00:22:53,707 You're drunk. 731 00:22:53,707 --> 00:22:56,009 You don't want to say something right now that you're not 732 00:22:56,009 --> 00:22:57,110 going to be able to take back. 733 00:22:57,110 --> 00:22:57,911 Hey, you know what? 734 00:22:57,911 --> 00:22:58,845 I'm done with this. 735 00:22:58,845 --> 00:23:00,113 I'm done with totes. 736 00:23:00,113 --> 00:23:02,015 I'm done with "This Is How We Do It," Montell Jordan. 737 00:23:02,015 --> 00:23:02,849 Oh, no, no. 738 00:23:02,849 --> 00:23:04,518 You leave Montell out of this. 739 00:23:04,518 --> 00:23:05,318 Shots fired. 740 00:23:05,318 --> 00:23:06,553 MOOK: Don't you dare. 741 00:23:06,553 --> 00:23:08,021 ‐That is not good. ‐Don't you fucking dare, Adam. 742 00:23:08,021 --> 00:23:09,022 That is not good. 743 00:23:09,022 --> 00:23:11,124 Okay, so you're just going to walk away 744 00:23:11,124 --> 00:23:12,993 after all the laughs we've had and 745 00:23:12,993 --> 00:23:15,028 after everything I sacrificed. 746 00:23:15,028 --> 00:23:16,496 You're just going to walk away. 747 00:23:16,496 --> 00:23:17,531 Oh, you sacrifice it? 748 00:23:17,531 --> 00:23:18,699 Yeah, yeah, I sacrifice. 749 00:23:18,699 --> 00:23:21,234 I don't have a fucking dentist either, man. 750 00:23:21,234 --> 00:23:22,703 My teeth hurt like shit! 751 00:23:22,703 --> 00:23:23,737 That's my whole point. 752 00:23:23,737 --> 00:23:24,705 It's over. 753 00:23:24,705 --> 00:23:25,672 You're over! 754 00:23:25,672 --> 00:23:26,439 It's over! 755 00:23:33,113 --> 00:23:34,581 So, uh, listen. 756 00:23:34,581 --> 00:23:39,452 I, um‐‐ I want to apologize about last night. 757 00:23:39,452 --> 00:23:43,557 I know I said some‐‐ heh‐‐ harsh things. 758 00:23:43,557 --> 00:23:46,359 But I just wanted to say I'm sorry. 759 00:23:46,359 --> 00:23:49,763 Well, I accept your apology. 760 00:23:49,763 --> 00:23:53,366 Consider every word you said taken back. 761 00:23:53,366 --> 00:23:57,003 That's actually the thing about that, is that, um, 762 00:23:57,003 --> 00:24:00,574 there were parts that I‐‐ I do still kind of agree with, 763 00:24:00,574 --> 00:24:03,577 and one of them being that I think maybe we 764 00:24:03,577 --> 00:24:04,778 spend too much time together. 765 00:24:04,778 --> 00:24:08,014 And, uh, we should break up. 766 00:24:08,014 --> 00:24:09,482 Adam's just not that into us. 767 00:24:09,482 --> 00:24:10,383 ADAM: No, dude. 768 00:24:10,383 --> 00:24:11,752 Look. 769 00:24:11,752 --> 00:24:14,120 Have any of us changed at all since we've met each other? 770 00:24:14,120 --> 00:24:14,921 BARRETT: Yes! 771 00:24:14,921 --> 00:24:16,189 Howie's fatter now. 772 00:24:16,189 --> 00:24:17,591 Significantly fatter. 773 00:24:17,591 --> 00:24:18,659 Yeah, I did it on purpose. 774 00:24:18,659 --> 00:24:20,927 Okay, can I weigh in here for a second? 775 00:24:20,927 --> 00:24:22,262 Jesus. 776 00:24:22,262 --> 00:24:25,465 Howie, you've never been promoted ever. 777 00:24:25,465 --> 00:24:27,601 Well, I don't think my job really does that sort of thing. 778 00:24:27,601 --> 00:24:28,401 [interposing voices] 779 00:24:28,401 --> 00:24:29,503 They do that at your job. 780 00:24:29,503 --> 00:24:30,370 They do that at every job. 781 00:24:30,370 --> 00:24:31,404 MOOK: Every job has promotions. 782 00:24:31,404 --> 00:24:32,272 Every job has promotions. 783 00:24:32,272 --> 00:24:34,074 You're not a prostitute. 784 00:24:34,074 --> 00:24:35,275 There's somewhere to go. 785 00:24:35,275 --> 00:24:38,078 Barrett, you quit college to join a dart league. 786 00:24:38,078 --> 00:24:39,045 Yes, I did. 787 00:24:39,045 --> 00:24:39,846 And we won. 788 00:24:39,846 --> 00:24:40,781 So it was worth it. 789 00:24:40,781 --> 00:24:42,182 Totally not worth it. 790 00:24:42,182 --> 00:24:45,085 And Mook, you know, you work at the lacrosse thing. 791 00:24:45,085 --> 00:24:46,219 But I still don't really know what 792 00:24:46,219 --> 00:24:47,453 you want to do with your life. 793 00:24:47,453 --> 00:24:48,622 I just want to dance. 794 00:24:48,622 --> 00:24:49,422 DAVID: Exactly. 795 00:24:49,422 --> 00:24:50,223 Mook wants to dance. 796 00:24:50,223 --> 00:24:52,092 And he wouldn't‐‐ what? 797 00:24:52,092 --> 00:24:53,393 What? 798 00:24:53,393 --> 00:24:55,662 I didn't say anything. 799 00:24:55,662 --> 00:24:57,631 You want to dance. 800 00:24:57,631 --> 00:24:58,431 Homo. 801 00:24:58,431 --> 00:24:59,332 [chuckles] 802 00:24:59,332 --> 00:25:00,100 Okay, that's homophobic. 803 00:25:00,100 --> 00:25:01,234 Not cool. 804 00:25:01,234 --> 00:25:02,468 But I think‐‐ I think that Adam has a point. 805 00:25:02,468 --> 00:25:05,739 You guys definitely need a break from this. 806 00:25:05,739 --> 00:25:07,307 Of course, you'd never be able to do it. 807 00:25:07,307 --> 00:25:08,141 But, you know. 808 00:25:08,141 --> 00:25:09,342 Wait, are you challenging us? 809 00:25:09,342 --> 00:25:10,811 Yeah, I'm challenging you, Barrett. 810 00:25:10,811 --> 00:25:11,978 Challenge accepted. DAVID: Okay 811 00:25:11,978 --> 00:25:13,179 BARRETT: Are there rules? What are the rules? 812 00:25:13,179 --> 00:25:14,114 DAVID: You guys want to see the rules? 813 00:25:14,114 --> 00:25:15,381 Okay, well, I brought the rules. 814 00:25:15,381 --> 00:25:16,783 [interposing voices] 815 00:25:16,783 --> 00:25:17,584 What is that? 816 00:25:17,584 --> 00:25:18,418 These are the rules. 817 00:25:18,418 --> 00:25:19,419 These are the breakup contract. 818 00:25:19,419 --> 00:25:20,420 When did you write that? 819 00:25:20,420 --> 00:25:21,988 Well, when Adam called me last night, 820 00:25:21,988 --> 00:25:23,056 I couldn't really go to sleep. 821 00:25:23,056 --> 00:25:24,290 So I drew this up. 822 00:25:24,290 --> 00:25:25,959 I knew that the only way you guys would pay attention 823 00:25:25,959 --> 00:25:27,127 if I made this shit official. 824 00:25:27,127 --> 00:25:28,762 So here it is, okay? 825 00:25:28,762 --> 00:25:31,598 First up, all communication cut off. 826 00:25:31,598 --> 00:25:33,366 This shit's not going to happen forever, right? 827 00:25:33,366 --> 00:25:36,202 So I figure six months is a good time for the breakup. 828 00:25:36,202 --> 00:25:37,470 My wedding is in six months. 829 00:25:37,470 --> 00:25:38,939 It seems like a natural end. 830 00:25:38,939 --> 00:25:40,707 And listen, I know getting evicted sucks. 831 00:25:40,707 --> 00:25:42,909 But I worked that into the contract, okay? 832 00:25:42,909 --> 00:25:44,878 It's going to help the break up a ton. 833 00:25:44,878 --> 00:25:47,380 The three of you, I'll find you all sublets. 834 00:25:47,380 --> 00:25:49,182 Adam, you can move in with me and Amanda. 835 00:25:49,182 --> 00:25:50,784 Ha, your marriage is doomed. 836 00:25:50,784 --> 00:25:51,618 I think I'll help. 837 00:25:51,618 --> 00:25:52,719 Okay, Okay, okay 838 00:25:52,719 --> 00:25:54,521 What kind of cool shit do we get if we win? 839 00:25:54,521 --> 00:25:56,122 I'm glad you asked that, Barrett. 840 00:25:56,122 --> 00:25:57,958 There's a place on 9th Street. 841 00:25:57,958 --> 00:25:59,693 I have this stuff on lockdown. 842 00:25:59,693 --> 00:26:01,862 I'm good friends with the owner, and he gave me first dibs. 843 00:26:01,862 --> 00:26:03,229 ‐What? ‐Yeah. 844 00:26:03,229 --> 00:26:06,099 It's not even available till the spring, and it's amazing. 845 00:26:06,099 --> 00:26:08,368 Four bedrooms, two baths, a dozen 846 00:26:08,368 --> 00:26:09,670 bars within walking distance. 847 00:26:09,670 --> 00:26:12,138 I would honestly move in there myself if I wasn't‐‐ 848 00:26:12,138 --> 00:26:13,139 Making a huge mistake? 849 00:26:13,139 --> 00:26:14,875 I was going to say happily living 850 00:26:14,875 --> 00:26:17,177 in a valley with my fiancee. 851 00:26:17,177 --> 00:26:18,545 And this could be for us, like, to live. 852 00:26:18,545 --> 00:26:19,345 Like, we can live there? 853 00:26:19,345 --> 00:26:20,681 Now, listen. 854 00:26:20,681 --> 00:26:22,282 If this is going to work, there needs to be consequences, 855 00:26:22,282 --> 00:26:24,217 and you guys need to be horrified of them. 856 00:26:24,217 --> 00:26:26,286 I think if you break the rules for the first time, 857 00:26:26,286 --> 00:26:27,420 I cancel fantasy football. 858 00:26:27,420 --> 00:26:28,288 You're not gonna do that. 859 00:26:28,288 --> 00:26:29,623 DAVID: I'm just getting started. 860 00:26:29,623 --> 00:26:31,658 If you break the rules a second time, this place is gone. 861 00:26:31,658 --> 00:26:32,959 Just erase it from your mind. 862 00:26:32,959 --> 00:26:34,861 And my bachelor party is off, and I'm throwing 863 00:26:34,861 --> 00:26:36,630 a jack and jill party instead. BARRETT: The fuck is that? 864 00:26:36,630 --> 00:26:37,397 ADAM: I don't even know what those are. 865 00:26:37,397 --> 00:26:38,765 HOWIE: Yeah, what is that? 866 00:26:38,765 --> 00:26:40,601 It's when the bride and groom have their parties together. 867 00:26:40,601 --> 00:26:41,668 ‐What? ‐Nobody does that. 868 00:26:41,668 --> 00:26:42,603 ‐Do people do that? ‐That's bad for you. 869 00:26:42,603 --> 00:26:43,870 That's not even a real thing, man. 870 00:26:43,870 --> 00:26:47,073 And if you break it a third time, 871 00:26:47,073 --> 00:26:49,475 I'm going to make my wedding a cash bar. 872 00:26:49,475 --> 00:26:53,079 And you could say goodbye to fantasy baseball. 873 00:26:53,079 --> 00:26:54,915 Oh, my‐‐ I hate you, David. 874 00:26:54,915 --> 00:26:55,916 BARRETT: Hey, hey, hey, hey. 875 00:26:55,916 --> 00:26:56,883 What the fuck? 876 00:26:56,883 --> 00:26:57,884 [interposing voices] 877 00:26:57,884 --> 00:26:59,019 What are you doing, man? BARRETT: Chill. 878 00:26:59,019 --> 00:27:00,053 I'm upset too. I'm upset too. 879 00:27:00,053 --> 00:27:01,087 I have another question. 880 00:27:01,087 --> 00:27:01,922 DAVID: Yes, sir. 881 00:27:01,922 --> 00:27:03,189 Why are you doing this? 882 00:27:03,189 --> 00:27:04,057 I don't know, guys. 883 00:27:04,057 --> 00:27:06,159 I think that it's a great thing. 884 00:27:06,159 --> 00:27:08,461 I think you guys have all been like my older brothers. 885 00:27:08,461 --> 00:27:11,164 And I would just like the see you all grow up. 886 00:27:11,164 --> 00:27:12,933 All of you. 887 00:27:12,933 --> 00:27:13,667 Just a little. 888 00:27:19,372 --> 00:27:20,440 I mean, look, you know? 889 00:27:20,440 --> 00:27:21,875 I think that some of this stuff is harsh, 890 00:27:21,875 --> 00:27:22,909 but I think it should be harsh. 891 00:27:22,909 --> 00:27:27,914 I‐‐ I think that this is a good idea. 892 00:27:27,914 --> 00:27:30,884 I think that we should do it. 893 00:27:30,884 --> 00:27:32,653 (WHISPERING) Adam, this is insane. 894 00:27:32,653 --> 00:27:34,020 This is really crazy. 895 00:27:34,020 --> 00:27:35,922 If you're trying to act like you're just whispering to me, 896 00:27:35,922 --> 00:27:37,357 they can here you anyways. So just talk louder. 897 00:27:37,357 --> 00:27:38,424 This is madness! 898 00:27:38,424 --> 00:27:39,660 ‐Lower your voice. ‐Is this a good level? 899 00:27:39,660 --> 00:27:40,827 ‐Fuck split the difference. ‐Is this a good level? 900 00:27:40,827 --> 00:27:41,628 That's good. 901 00:27:41,628 --> 00:27:42,829 Look, Adam. 902 00:27:42,829 --> 00:27:44,064 Please. 903 00:27:44,064 --> 00:27:45,398 I'll change. I'll change. 904 00:27:45,398 --> 00:27:46,399 I'll do whatever you want. 905 00:27:46,399 --> 00:27:48,434 I'll do all the fucking things you like, 906 00:27:48,434 --> 00:27:50,436 and I won't stop until you say no. 907 00:27:50,436 --> 00:27:51,672 Just don't leave me! 908 00:27:51,672 --> 00:27:54,741 Don't leave me in the fucking dust, man! 909 00:27:54,741 --> 00:27:56,076 Just please don't. 910 00:27:59,345 --> 00:28:00,246 Don't. 911 00:28:00,246 --> 00:28:01,047 Don't. 912 00:28:01,047 --> 00:28:03,817 [heaving sighing] 913 00:28:03,817 --> 00:28:05,652 Don't. 914 00:28:05,652 --> 00:28:07,420 Don't. 915 00:28:07,420 --> 00:28:08,522 Shit. 916 00:28:08,522 --> 00:28:10,056 You know, maybe we should try the breakup. 917 00:28:23,203 --> 00:28:24,170 [sighs] 918 00:28:29,543 --> 00:28:31,244 You really think I should go three wide? 919 00:28:31,244 --> 00:28:32,312 That's not desperate? 920 00:28:32,312 --> 00:28:33,680 I mean, it depends on who's on your team. 921 00:28:33,680 --> 00:28:34,881 But yeah. 922 00:28:34,881 --> 00:28:36,249 You know, I mean, it's a passing league now, right? 923 00:28:36,249 --> 00:28:38,018 So if your fantasy football team is running a flex position, 924 00:28:38,018 --> 00:28:39,252 then you got to add a third receiver. 925 00:28:39,252 --> 00:28:41,087 Yeah, you know why it's a passing league? 926 00:28:41,087 --> 00:28:42,623 Because nobody wants to get hit anymore. 927 00:28:42,623 --> 00:28:43,590 Right? Heh? 928 00:28:43,590 --> 00:28:44,725 Huh? 929 00:28:44,725 --> 00:28:47,861 Like lacrosse‐‐ minimal padding, sweat, dirt, 930 00:28:47,861 --> 00:28:49,429 hardcore athleticism. 931 00:28:49,429 --> 00:28:52,533 None of that pussy football princess crap, right? 932 00:28:52,533 --> 00:28:53,366 ADAM: Right. 933 00:28:53,366 --> 00:28:55,602 Real men get concussions, man. 934 00:28:55,602 --> 00:28:57,103 Lacrosse. 935 00:28:57,103 --> 00:28:58,572 Wow, that should be our motto. 936 00:28:58,572 --> 00:28:59,405 Yeah. 937 00:28:59,405 --> 00:29:01,708 Real men get concussions, man. 938 00:29:01,708 --> 00:29:02,576 Fucking lacrosse. 939 00:29:02,576 --> 00:29:03,710 Hell yeah. ‐Wow. 940 00:29:03,710 --> 00:29:04,745 You can't say "fuck." ‐No? 941 00:29:04,745 --> 00:29:05,712 Sponsored stuff, you can't‐‐ 942 00:29:05,712 --> 00:29:06,513 Okay 943 00:29:06,513 --> 00:29:07,447 Right, well, all right. 944 00:29:07,447 --> 00:29:08,248 Right. 945 00:29:08,248 --> 00:29:09,883 That's why you're in PR. 946 00:29:09,883 --> 00:29:10,951 And I'm the boss. ‐Right. 947 00:29:10,951 --> 00:29:11,885 ‐Right? ‐Right. 948 00:29:11,885 --> 00:29:12,686 Okay 949 00:29:12,686 --> 00:29:13,720 Good talk, man. 950 00:29:13,720 --> 00:29:15,021 Good talk. 951 00:29:15,021 --> 00:29:17,658 Real men‐‐ real men get concussions, man. 952 00:29:17,658 --> 00:29:18,859 Right, or something like that. 953 00:29:18,859 --> 00:29:19,693 But yeah. 954 00:29:19,693 --> 00:29:21,595 Real men get concussions, yo. 955 00:29:21,595 --> 00:29:23,329 Lacrosse, damn! 956 00:29:23,329 --> 00:29:24,430 That's a little urban, but‐‐ 957 00:29:24,430 --> 00:29:25,498 Damn! 958 00:29:25,498 --> 00:29:27,067 ‐Something like that, yeah. ‐Just do it. 959 00:29:27,067 --> 00:29:27,868 ADAM: okay 960 00:29:27,868 --> 00:29:28,869 [door closes] 961 00:29:28,869 --> 00:29:29,836 RICHTMAN: Damn! 962 00:29:29,836 --> 00:29:30,804 That is [inaudible]. 963 00:29:30,804 --> 00:29:33,740 [clapping] 964 00:29:33,740 --> 00:29:35,441 Holy shit, dude. 965 00:29:35,441 --> 00:29:37,043 Did you go shopping? 966 00:29:37,043 --> 00:29:39,980 You are fucking good‐looking, my man. 967 00:29:39,980 --> 00:29:43,249 Guess I never really appreciated that when we were together. 968 00:29:43,249 --> 00:29:44,818 Hey, what was going on with you and Richtman? 969 00:29:44,818 --> 00:29:46,119 Are you in trouble, dude? 970 00:29:46,119 --> 00:29:49,189 No, he just sat down and started talking 971 00:29:49,189 --> 00:29:51,057 to me like a real person. 972 00:29:51,057 --> 00:29:52,058 First time ever. 973 00:29:52,058 --> 00:29:54,861 Yeah, I bet it's because you hot as shit. 974 00:29:54,861 --> 00:29:56,162 Did he ask about my report? 975 00:29:56,162 --> 00:29:57,230 I was rushed. 976 00:29:57,230 --> 00:29:59,365 I also technically didn't do any research. 977 00:29:59,365 --> 00:30:01,935 Uh, yeah, didn't come up. 978 00:30:01,935 --> 00:30:02,736 Oh. 979 00:30:02,736 --> 00:30:03,537 Okay 980 00:30:03,537 --> 00:30:06,039 Well, what did he ask about? 981 00:30:06,039 --> 00:30:07,007 It's not healthy, dude. 982 00:30:07,007 --> 00:30:07,808 Shouldn't say. 983 00:30:07,808 --> 00:30:09,342 Oh, just tell me, man. 984 00:30:09,342 --> 00:30:10,410 Fine. 985 00:30:10,410 --> 00:30:13,379 We were talking about fantasy football. 986 00:30:13,379 --> 00:30:14,515 Oh. 987 00:30:14,515 --> 00:30:16,049 You were? 988 00:30:16,049 --> 00:30:16,850 Wow. 989 00:30:16,850 --> 00:30:19,319 Uh, okay 990 00:30:19,319 --> 00:30:20,453 How was it? Was it good? 991 00:30:20,453 --> 00:30:21,254 How's his team? 992 00:30:21,254 --> 00:30:22,956 Is he better than me? 993 00:30:22,956 --> 00:30:23,790 Wasn't better than you. 994 00:30:23,790 --> 00:30:26,527 Just different. 995 00:30:26,527 --> 00:30:28,228 You now what? 996 00:30:28,228 --> 00:30:29,162 Fine! 997 00:30:29,162 --> 00:30:30,430 Be with Richtman! 998 00:30:30,430 --> 00:30:32,498 I never liked talking fantasy with you, anyway, Adam. 999 00:30:32,498 --> 00:30:33,299 I faked it! 1000 00:30:33,299 --> 00:30:36,369 Faked it every single time! 1001 00:30:36,369 --> 00:30:37,170 Sorry. 1002 00:30:37,170 --> 00:30:38,371 ADAM: It's all right. 1003 00:30:38,371 --> 00:30:41,575 It's okay 1004 00:30:41,575 --> 00:30:42,543 Hey, Adam. 1005 00:30:42,543 --> 00:30:43,877 I'm just going around‐‐ 1006 00:30:43,877 --> 00:30:44,845 Hey. 1007 00:30:44,845 --> 00:30:45,912 Hey. 1008 00:30:45,912 --> 00:30:47,548 Um, I'm just going around getting people 1009 00:30:47,548 --> 00:30:48,982 for kickball on the weekends. 1010 00:30:48,982 --> 00:30:51,451 Should I just mark you down as definitely too hungover 1011 00:30:51,451 --> 00:30:53,520 to attend as usual? 1012 00:30:53,520 --> 00:30:55,355 Well, you don't really mark it down like that, do you? 1013 00:30:55,355 --> 00:30:56,523 Oh, yeah. No, I do, absolutely. 1014 00:30:56,523 --> 00:30:57,691 Uh, all right. 1015 00:30:57,691 --> 00:31:00,226 Well, not today, because I'm trying new things. 1016 00:31:00,226 --> 00:31:01,562 So I'll be there. 1017 00:31:01,562 --> 00:31:02,863 All right. 1018 00:31:02,863 --> 00:31:05,065 That's, um‐‐ that's a good look you got going on today. 1019 00:31:05,065 --> 00:31:06,099 You look nice. 1020 00:31:06,099 --> 00:31:06,867 Thanks. 1021 00:31:11,772 --> 00:31:12,839 Hey, Jamie. 1022 00:31:12,839 --> 00:31:15,609 Uh, listen I, uh‐‐ I changed my mind. 1023 00:31:15,609 --> 00:31:17,243 You can tell your lonely actress friend that, 1024 00:31:17,243 --> 00:31:19,112 uh, I'd love to take her out. 1025 00:31:19,112 --> 00:31:20,446 Oh, my god, that's so exciting. 1026 00:31:20,446 --> 00:31:21,782 We could double date. 1027 00:31:21,782 --> 00:31:22,916 Double date. 1028 00:31:22,916 --> 00:31:24,751 Oh, well, who are you gon‐‐ oh, uh, you know. 1029 00:31:24,751 --> 00:31:26,687 Um, about Barrett‐‐ he, uh‐‐ actually‐‐ 1030 00:31:26,687 --> 00:31:29,355 Yeah, I've been texting him, and I haven't heard back. 1031 00:31:29,355 --> 00:31:31,558 Did he die? 1032 00:31:31,558 --> 00:31:34,027 Because that keeps happening to me. 1033 00:31:34,027 --> 00:31:35,328 No, he didn't die. 1034 00:31:35,328 --> 00:31:37,998 So I'll just keep on texting him then if he's not dead. 1035 00:31:37,998 --> 00:31:39,265 Um, question. 1036 00:31:39,265 --> 00:31:40,567 Uh, yeah? 1037 00:31:40,567 --> 00:31:43,670 Where do you think Barrett stands on the whole unicorn 1038 00:31:43,670 --> 00:31:44,470 philosophy? 1039 00:31:44,470 --> 00:31:45,438 What phil‐‐ 1040 00:31:45,438 --> 00:31:46,873 JAMIE: Do you think he's into it? 1041 00:31:46,873 --> 00:31:48,975 Or do you think he's against it? 1042 00:31:48,975 --> 00:31:50,043 Uh, I don't know. 1043 00:31:50,043 --> 00:31:54,047 I think maybe he's not too into unicorns. 1044 00:31:54,047 --> 00:31:57,618 But, I mean, that can be negotiable. 1045 00:31:57,618 --> 00:31:59,019 I guess anything is negotiable. 1046 00:31:59,019 --> 00:31:59,953 JAMIE: I totally thought so. 1047 00:31:59,953 --> 00:32:00,754 Right. 1048 00:32:00,754 --> 00:32:01,955 Yes. 1049 00:32:01,955 --> 00:32:03,657 I'm so excited you're gonna go out with Krista. 1050 00:32:03,657 --> 00:32:04,791 This is awesome. 1051 00:32:04,791 --> 00:32:06,426 And she's not your typical actress girl. 1052 00:32:06,426 --> 00:32:07,493 She's great. 1053 00:32:07,493 --> 00:32:09,162 She's like the most normal person I now. 1054 00:32:09,162 --> 00:32:09,930 Mm. 1055 00:32:12,899 --> 00:32:14,601 I'm having the best time. 1056 00:32:14,601 --> 00:32:15,401 Oh, good. 1057 00:32:15,401 --> 00:32:16,537 Yeah. 1058 00:32:16,537 --> 00:32:18,271 Once I told Jamie that I over my black‐guy phase, 1059 00:32:18,271 --> 00:32:19,773 she was all like, I'm gonna set you up. 1060 00:32:19,773 --> 00:32:20,574 And there you are. 1061 00:32:20,574 --> 00:32:21,642 Here you are. ‐Oh, yeah. 1062 00:32:21,642 --> 00:32:22,843 Okay 1063 00:32:22,843 --> 00:32:25,579 They say you once you go black, you never go back. 1064 00:32:25,579 --> 00:32:26,913 Well, you do once your parents threaten 1065 00:32:26,913 --> 00:32:28,248 to take away your inheritance. 1066 00:32:28,248 --> 00:32:29,850 [laughs] Now, I'm kidding. 1067 00:32:29,850 --> 00:32:31,217 I just don't want to be a stepmom. 1068 00:32:31,217 --> 00:32:32,519 Oh. Oh. 1069 00:32:32,519 --> 00:32:33,687 That's‐‐ that's so racist. 1070 00:32:33,687 --> 00:32:34,487 That's‐‐ 1071 00:32:34,487 --> 00:32:35,922 So enough about me. 1072 00:32:35,922 --> 00:32:37,490 I want to know about you, okay? 1073 00:32:37,490 --> 00:32:38,725 Tell me everything. 1074 00:32:38,725 --> 00:32:40,226 Everything. 1075 00:32:40,226 --> 00:32:41,494 Okay 1076 00:32:41,494 --> 00:32:45,298 Um, uh, well, I was just‐‐ I was born outside of LA. 1077 00:32:45,298 --> 00:32:46,967 Oh my god, we should just get crazy right now! 1078 00:32:46,967 --> 00:32:47,801 Am I right? 1079 00:32:47,801 --> 00:32:48,869 Oh, my god. 1080 00:32:48,869 --> 00:32:50,303 Can we have two butter nipples? Not these. 1081 00:32:50,303 --> 00:32:51,237 Those. [chuckles] 1082 00:32:51,237 --> 00:32:52,573 Hey, do you want a head shot? 1083 00:32:52,573 --> 00:32:55,008 Oh, I don't‐‐ I don't think a head‐‐ 1084 00:32:55,008 --> 00:32:57,578 Don't I look like such a whore but in the best way? 1085 00:32:57,578 --> 00:32:58,712 Right. 1086 00:32:58,712 --> 00:32:59,813 You know what I'm saying? That's all yours. 1087 00:32:59,813 --> 00:33:01,114 I don't need this. I'm not really‐‐ 1088 00:33:01,114 --> 00:33:02,583 Yeah, most of the special skills on the back 1089 00:33:02,583 --> 00:33:03,416 are total bullshit. 1090 00:33:03,416 --> 00:33:04,585 I do not speak French. 1091 00:33:04,585 --> 00:33:06,186 I do not kayak. 1092 00:33:06,186 --> 00:33:09,422 The last thing on there‐‐ that's true. 1093 00:33:09,422 --> 00:33:12,726 How is‐‐ how is "no gag reflex" something 1094 00:33:12,726 --> 00:33:14,761 that's considered something that you would put on this paper? 1095 00:33:14,761 --> 00:33:16,362 I don't‐‐ ‐I'll show you. 1096 00:33:16,362 --> 00:33:17,330 So you just‐‐ ‐No, no, no. 1097 00:33:17,330 --> 00:33:18,131 Uh‐huh. 1098 00:33:18,131 --> 00:33:18,999 Oh, Okay, I get it. 1099 00:33:18,999 --> 00:33:20,200 Hmm? 1100 00:33:20,200 --> 00:33:22,268 I get it. 1101 00:33:22,268 --> 00:33:23,069 Tada. 1102 00:33:23,069 --> 00:33:24,505 ‐Mm. ‐Right? 1103 00:33:24,505 --> 00:33:26,272 Your hands smell a little weird, but you get over it. 1104 00:33:26,272 --> 00:33:27,473 ‐Cool. ‐How's this? 1105 00:33:27,473 --> 00:33:28,942 Uh‐‐ 1106 00:33:28,942 --> 00:33:30,410 Mm! 1107 00:33:30,410 --> 00:33:32,478 I hate beer. 1108 00:33:32,478 --> 00:33:33,547 I forgot. 1109 00:33:33,547 --> 00:33:34,347 Thank you. 1110 00:33:34,347 --> 00:33:35,181 Thanks. 1111 00:33:35,181 --> 00:33:37,518 Cheers. 1112 00:33:37,518 --> 00:33:38,585 Woo! 1113 00:33:38,585 --> 00:33:39,385 So good. 1114 00:33:39,385 --> 00:33:40,153 Ha‐ha‐ha. 1115 00:33:44,457 --> 00:33:47,794 So, uh, you got your, uh, car in valet too, or‐‐ 1116 00:33:47,794 --> 00:33:48,695 Oh, no, no. 1117 00:33:48,695 --> 00:33:49,495 I cannot drive. 1118 00:33:49,495 --> 00:33:50,931 I am so drunk. 1119 00:33:50,931 --> 00:33:52,833 Hey, let's just go back to your place. 1120 00:33:52,833 --> 00:33:54,067 Um, you know what? 1121 00:33:54,067 --> 00:33:55,536 I probably shouldn't‐‐ I probably shouldn't do that, 1122 00:33:55,536 --> 00:33:56,469 because, uh‐‐ ‐No, come on! 1123 00:33:56,469 --> 00:33:58,004 Take me to your place, you bitch! 1124 00:33:58,004 --> 00:33:58,972 [giggles] This is your car? 1125 00:33:58,972 --> 00:33:59,773 Yeah. 1126 00:33:59,773 --> 00:34:00,774 This is it? 1127 00:34:00,774 --> 00:34:02,743 I'm getting in. 1128 00:34:02,743 --> 00:34:05,178 Oh, god! 1129 00:34:05,178 --> 00:34:06,112 (MOUTHING) I'm sorry. 1130 00:34:11,051 --> 00:34:12,018 Oh, that butt. 1131 00:34:12,018 --> 00:34:13,319 Oh, that butt. ‐Hey, you know what? 1132 00:34:13,319 --> 00:34:14,287 I don't think we can do this. 1133 00:34:14,287 --> 00:34:15,622 I don't have protection on me. 1134 00:34:15,622 --> 00:34:16,723 Oh. 1135 00:34:16,723 --> 00:34:18,725 Good thing you said something, because I do. 1136 00:34:18,725 --> 00:34:19,526 Okay 1137 00:34:19,526 --> 00:34:20,527 Always. 1138 00:34:20,527 --> 00:34:22,095 What, do you just have those on you? 1139 00:34:22,095 --> 00:34:23,129 We are so gonna fuck! 1140 00:34:23,129 --> 00:34:24,330 Shh, shh. 1141 00:34:24,330 --> 00:34:26,032 My brother and his fiancee are in the next room, 1142 00:34:26,032 --> 00:34:26,933 so we have to be quiet, okay? 1143 00:34:26,933 --> 00:34:28,401 Do you want them to catch? 1144 00:34:28,401 --> 00:34:30,003 ‐Of fucking course not! ‐I'm totally [inaudible]. 1145 00:34:30,003 --> 00:34:31,371 ‐No, no way. ‐[inaudible]. 1146 00:34:31,371 --> 00:34:32,472 Stay there. ‐Okay 1147 00:34:32,472 --> 00:34:33,373 ‐Stay there, [inaudible]. ‐Oh, Jesus. 1148 00:34:33,373 --> 00:34:34,174 Ugh! 1149 00:34:34,174 --> 00:34:35,141 This‐‐ this is happening? 1150 00:34:35,141 --> 00:34:37,511 Oh, it is fucking happening, mister! 1151 00:34:37,511 --> 00:34:38,311 Ready? ‐Yeah. 1152 00:34:38,311 --> 00:34:39,946 ‐[spits] ‐[sputters] 1153 00:34:39,946 --> 00:34:41,114 Oh, are you serious? 1154 00:34:41,114 --> 00:34:42,816 Fucking aah! 1155 00:34:42,816 --> 00:34:44,050 Get ready for the ride of your life, 1156 00:34:44,050 --> 00:34:46,319 because I watch a fuckload of porn! 1157 00:34:46,319 --> 00:34:47,487 How do you like this? 1158 00:34:47,487 --> 00:34:48,288 Take it! 1159 00:34:48,288 --> 00:34:49,089 No. 1160 00:34:49,089 --> 00:34:50,456 Can you breathe? 1161 00:34:50,456 --> 00:34:52,092 Take it. 1162 00:34:52,092 --> 00:34:53,426 I'm not gonna pee on you. 1163 00:34:53,426 --> 00:34:54,695 I hope that's cool with you. 1164 00:34:54,695 --> 00:34:56,029 It reminds of an ex. 1165 00:34:56,029 --> 00:34:58,131 You're legitimately scaring the shit out of me. 1166 00:34:58,131 --> 00:34:59,232 You have your yellow fever shot? 1167 00:34:59,232 --> 00:35:00,433 Uh‐‐ 1168 00:35:00,433 --> 00:35:01,868 Because you are about to enter the fucking jungle. 1169 00:35:01,868 --> 00:35:03,136 Yeah! ‐[grunts] 1170 00:35:04,605 --> 00:35:07,073 [vocalizes dramatic tune] 1171 00:35:07,073 --> 00:35:10,010 (SEDUCTIVELY) What is it? 1172 00:35:10,010 --> 00:35:10,977 Ooh, ooh, ooh. 1173 00:35:10,977 --> 00:35:12,513 Hey, for real? 1174 00:35:12,513 --> 00:35:14,581 Braise yourself. 1175 00:35:14,581 --> 00:35:15,882 Time to feed the tiger. 1176 00:35:15,882 --> 00:35:16,750 [hisses] ‐No! 1177 00:35:16,750 --> 00:35:17,551 No, no, no, no. 1178 00:35:17,551 --> 00:35:18,552 No, no, no. 1179 00:35:18,552 --> 00:35:19,319 Rah! 1180 00:35:23,023 --> 00:35:27,772 [sighs] 1181 00:35:43,176 --> 00:35:45,359 [sighs] 1182 00:35:49,349 --> 00:35:51,818 [sink running] 1183 00:35:54,320 --> 00:35:55,288 Oh, fuck. 1184 00:35:59,860 --> 00:36:00,994 Good morning! 1185 00:36:00,994 --> 00:36:02,395 Hey. 1186 00:36:02,395 --> 00:36:04,264 [giggles] 1187 00:36:04,264 --> 00:36:07,768 Hey, um, what happened last night? 1188 00:36:07,768 --> 00:36:12,272 Because I never get that drunk, like, ever. 1189 00:36:12,272 --> 00:36:14,575 [giggles] 1190 00:36:14,575 --> 00:36:18,344 Did you, um, roofie me maybe? 1191 00:36:18,344 --> 00:36:20,814 You're just so naughty. 1192 00:36:20,814 --> 00:36:22,448 You must've worked up an appetite, 1193 00:36:22,448 --> 00:36:24,450 so I'm going to make you eggs, okay? 1194 00:36:24,450 --> 00:36:25,786 Oh. 1195 00:36:25,786 --> 00:36:28,755 And speaking of eggs, there's a lot going on down here. 1196 00:36:28,755 --> 00:36:30,857 So maybe the condom broke. 1197 00:36:30,857 --> 00:36:32,058 [squeals] 1198 00:36:32,058 --> 00:36:33,059 One can hope, right? 1199 00:36:33,059 --> 00:36:34,460 [giggles] 1200 00:36:34,460 --> 00:36:35,796 [yawns] 1201 00:36:35,796 --> 00:36:37,430 Oh, hey, guys. Guys, guys, guys, guys, guys. 1202 00:36:37,430 --> 00:36:38,699 Go back to bed. Go back to bed. 1203 00:36:38,699 --> 00:36:40,667 You don't need to, uh, be up this early. 1204 00:36:40,667 --> 00:36:41,868 I can make you breakfast, seriously. 1205 00:36:41,868 --> 00:36:43,036 ‐Oh, that's sweet. ‐Really? 1206 00:36:43,036 --> 00:36:44,070 That's sweet. 1207 00:36:44,070 --> 00:36:45,739 An old‐school Adam omelette? I'm down. 1208 00:36:45,739 --> 00:36:47,407 Yeah, well, it's the least I can do, you know? 1209 00:36:47,407 --> 00:36:48,642 I mean, just relax. 1210 00:36:48,642 --> 00:36:51,044 Go back to bed, really. 1211 00:36:51,044 --> 00:36:52,646 What's going on in my kitchen? 1212 00:36:52,646 --> 00:36:54,648 Go, my go‐‐ my god. 1213 00:36:54,648 --> 00:37:00,120 Um, it, uh, just kinda happened. 1214 00:37:00,120 --> 00:37:01,454 Um‐‐ 1215 00:37:01,454 --> 00:37:02,689 What is on her ass? 1216 00:37:02,689 --> 00:37:03,489 What is that? 1217 00:37:03,489 --> 00:37:05,859 Yeah, it's of, uh, a tiger. 1218 00:37:05,859 --> 00:37:06,827 Um‐‐ 1219 00:37:06,827 --> 00:37:07,628 Oh. 1220 00:37:07,628 --> 00:37:08,895 Oh. 1221 00:37:08,895 --> 00:37:10,664 Is that why we heard growling and crying last night? 1222 00:37:10,664 --> 00:37:11,998 Because I thought you were just watching 1223 00:37:11,998 --> 00:37:13,900 Animal Planet stoned again. 1224 00:37:13,900 --> 00:37:14,735 No. 1225 00:37:14,735 --> 00:37:15,936 No. 1226 00:37:15,936 --> 00:37:18,805 Well, uh‐‐ when you‐‐ she bounces up and down‐‐ 1227 00:37:18,805 --> 00:37:19,740 Don't. Stop. 1228 00:37:19,740 --> 00:37:20,541 Oh, my god. 1229 00:37:20,541 --> 00:37:21,875 What did you do? 1230 00:37:21,875 --> 00:37:23,309 Her ass cheeks go like this, and a tiger goes like this. 1231 00:37:23,309 --> 00:37:24,310 Oh, my god. 1232 00:37:24,310 --> 00:37:25,278 Oh. 1233 00:37:25,278 --> 00:37:26,713 I don't‐‐ oh, my god! 1234 00:37:26,713 --> 00:37:28,181 ‐Come on. ‐You know what? 1235 00:37:28,181 --> 00:37:29,449 Tell her to get some underwear on, okay? 1236 00:37:29,449 --> 00:37:31,117 Okay I'll handle it, baby. 1237 00:37:31,117 --> 00:37:33,920 I will handle it with care. 1238 00:37:33,920 --> 00:37:35,221 Hey, but seriously. What? 1239 00:37:35,221 --> 00:37:36,422 Tell me everything. 1240 00:37:36,422 --> 00:37:38,759 (HUSHED) When you do doggy style with her‐‐ when 1241 00:37:38,759 --> 00:37:40,426 you do doggy style with her‐‐ ‐Right. 1242 00:37:40,426 --> 00:37:42,262 ‐‐it looks like the tiger's going like‐‐ it looks like 1243 00:37:42,262 --> 00:37:43,764 the tiger's going like this. 1244 00:37:43,764 --> 00:37:45,732 [guttural croaking] 1245 00:37:45,732 --> 00:37:47,133 I see what's happening, 'cause it's 1246 00:37:47,133 --> 00:37:50,003 like‐‐ it's kind of like the cartoon tiger, 1247 00:37:50,003 --> 00:37:51,037 except it's hornier. 1248 00:37:51,037 --> 00:37:51,972 Yeah, have you ever seen that YouTube 1249 00:37:51,972 --> 00:37:52,973 video where the panda sneezes? 1250 00:37:52,973 --> 00:37:54,007 Yeah. 1251 00:37:54,007 --> 00:37:55,475 It's like that, only with a tiger butt. 1252 00:37:55,475 --> 00:37:58,645 It's with an asshole for a mouth. 1253 00:37:58,645 --> 00:37:59,412 All right. 1254 00:38:02,082 --> 00:38:03,016 No. What? 1255 00:38:03,016 --> 00:38:03,817 No! 1256 00:38:03,817 --> 00:38:04,785 No! 1257 00:38:04,785 --> 00:38:06,753 I need a good toss from you, honey. 1258 00:38:06,753 --> 00:38:07,688 Take five. 1259 00:38:12,392 --> 00:38:13,927 Hey, you came. 1260 00:38:13,927 --> 00:38:15,996 You know, I thought that this was gonna like an ironic thing. 1261 00:38:15,996 --> 00:38:18,464 But you guys really take this seriously, huh? 1262 00:38:18,464 --> 00:38:20,400 Yeah, some of us more than others. 1263 00:38:20,400 --> 00:38:23,303 You should stretch before we start. 1264 00:38:23,303 --> 00:38:25,238 I'm not kidding. you will thank me later, okay? 1265 00:38:25,238 --> 00:38:26,039 Okay 1266 00:38:26,039 --> 00:38:26,807 Yeah, stretch. 1267 00:38:39,686 --> 00:38:40,587 Jesus. 1268 00:38:40,587 --> 00:38:41,354 Hey. 1269 00:38:44,691 --> 00:38:46,860 What the hell are you doing here, man? 1270 00:38:46,860 --> 00:38:48,995 Just trying something new. 1271 00:38:48,995 --> 00:38:50,363 What are you doing? 1272 00:38:50,363 --> 00:38:54,701 I always wanted to be a part of my office kickball league. 1273 00:38:54,701 --> 00:38:55,736 It's one of my dreams. 1274 00:38:55,736 --> 00:38:56,637 So here I am. 1275 00:38:56,637 --> 00:38:57,938 Heh. 1276 00:38:57,938 --> 00:39:00,340 But unlike you, I'm‐‐ I'm doing it with some dignity. 1277 00:39:00,340 --> 00:39:03,343 You're wearing jean shorts to a kickball game? 1278 00:39:03,343 --> 00:39:04,210 I mean, heh‐heh. 1279 00:39:04,210 --> 00:39:05,579 You know what? 1280 00:39:05,579 --> 00:39:07,180 I just kind of decided I‐‐ I was too old to have jeans with 1281 00:39:07,180 --> 00:39:09,482 holes in them, and I just‐‐ 1282 00:39:09,482 --> 00:39:10,584 Oh, my god. 1283 00:39:10,584 --> 00:39:12,018 Yeah? 1284 00:39:12,018 --> 00:39:13,787 These were your cool jeans. 1285 00:39:13,787 --> 00:39:16,757 Your amazing cool jeans that I worship that 1286 00:39:16,757 --> 00:39:19,192 had the most perfect hole right in the knee‐‐ 1287 00:39:19,192 --> 00:39:20,694 a hole that you earned. 1288 00:39:20,694 --> 00:39:24,197 You cut those jeans into jean shorts? 1289 00:39:24,197 --> 00:39:25,331 Who are you, man? 1290 00:39:25,331 --> 00:39:27,233 I don't‐‐ I don't know who you are. 1291 00:39:27,233 --> 00:39:28,635 It's really not a big deal, man. 1292 00:39:28,635 --> 00:39:30,336 I don't know why‐‐ why you're getting all bent out of shape. 1293 00:39:30,336 --> 00:39:33,574 Yeah, well, just so you know, Okay, whenever I close my eyes, 1294 00:39:33,574 --> 00:39:35,976 I'm going to picture you in your cool jeans. 1295 00:39:35,976 --> 00:39:36,843 Okay 1296 00:39:36,843 --> 00:39:39,980 Not any fucking jean shorts, okay? 1297 00:39:39,980 --> 00:39:40,947 How about this? 1298 00:39:40,947 --> 00:39:42,382 Uh, we're broken up, and we actually 1299 00:39:42,382 --> 00:39:43,984 shouldn't be talking, much less closing our eyes 1300 00:39:43,984 --> 00:39:44,985 and thinking about each other. 1301 00:39:44,985 --> 00:39:46,186 That's super fucking weird. 1302 00:39:46,186 --> 00:39:47,654 Well, here's the other thing about my mind, man. 1303 00:39:47,654 --> 00:39:49,523 I don't really care about your stupid little contract. 1304 00:39:49,523 --> 00:39:50,490 Okay 1305 00:39:50,490 --> 00:39:52,225 In my mind, I don't care about it. 1306 00:39:52,225 --> 00:39:54,060 Well, in my mind, I care about the contract. 1307 00:39:54,060 --> 00:39:55,361 So how do you explain that? 1308 00:39:55,361 --> 00:39:57,964 Well, in my mind, we're not talking about that at all. 1309 00:39:57,964 --> 00:40:00,466 We're continuing the conversation about the jeans. 1310 00:40:00,466 --> 00:40:02,769 In my mind, the conversation shifted into a different thing. 1311 00:40:02,769 --> 00:40:03,870 Well, in my mind, it didn't. 1312 00:40:03,870 --> 00:40:06,206 In my mind, it's about, uh, 20 minutes long. 1313 00:40:06,206 --> 00:40:08,809 And in the midst of that conversation in my mind, 1314 00:40:08,809 --> 00:40:12,846 you apologize for cutting your jeans into stupid fucking jean 1315 00:40:12,846 --> 00:40:14,147 shorts. 1316 00:40:14,147 --> 00:40:16,650 And then also in my mind, I don't accept your apology. 1317 00:40:16,650 --> 00:40:18,685 I don't accept your apology in my mind! 1318 00:40:18,685 --> 00:40:20,186 Well, in my mind, you accepted the apology. 1319 00:40:20,186 --> 00:40:22,756 You‐‐ you totally graciously accept the apology. 1320 00:40:22,756 --> 00:40:24,190 And you were even a little bit‐‐ you bowed. 1321 00:40:24,190 --> 00:40:25,526 You were a little bit Japanese about it. 1322 00:40:25,526 --> 00:40:26,326 How's that? 1323 00:40:26,326 --> 00:40:27,393 [yells gibberish] 1324 00:40:32,298 --> 00:40:33,099 Jesus. 1325 00:40:33,099 --> 00:40:35,235 Howie! 1326 00:40:35,235 --> 00:40:36,036 What are you doing? 1327 00:40:36,036 --> 00:40:36,937 MAN: Oh! 1328 00:40:36,937 --> 00:40:37,738 Hey! 1329 00:40:37,738 --> 00:40:39,139 What the hell, man? 1330 00:40:39,139 --> 00:40:41,174 Where are you going? 1331 00:40:41,174 --> 00:40:42,609 Howie? 1332 00:40:42,609 --> 00:40:44,244 Howie? 1333 00:40:44,244 --> 00:40:46,446 [chatter] 1334 00:40:49,716 --> 00:40:50,684 I got it! 1335 00:40:54,187 --> 00:40:55,722 ‐Hey, man, how's it going? ‐You're not gonna run to second? 1336 00:40:55,722 --> 00:40:56,690 Huh? No. 1337 00:40:56,690 --> 00:40:57,423 No, no, no. I'm not gonna do that. 1338 00:40:57,423 --> 00:40:58,358 Oh. 1339 00:40:58,358 --> 00:40:59,860 Hey, I'm sorry about before, man. 1340 00:40:59,860 --> 00:41:00,961 Yeah, don't worry about it, man. 1341 00:41:00,961 --> 00:41:01,762 It's all good. 1342 00:41:01,762 --> 00:41:02,629 Hey, hey, hey. 1343 00:41:02,629 --> 00:41:03,530 We don't want to make this weird. 1344 00:41:03,530 --> 00:41:04,998 No, of course not. Yeah. 1345 00:41:04,998 --> 00:41:05,766 Thank you. 1346 00:41:17,110 --> 00:41:17,911 Woo! 1347 00:41:17,911 --> 00:41:21,314 That's game, you guys. 1348 00:41:21,314 --> 00:41:22,415 Hey, Beth, thanks for today. 1349 00:41:22,415 --> 00:41:23,483 That was fun. ‐Yeah! 1350 00:41:23,483 --> 00:41:24,284 Yeah. 1351 00:41:24,284 --> 00:41:25,318 Yeah. 1352 00:41:25,318 --> 00:41:26,853 Um, are you going to come to Big Wangs? 1353 00:41:26,853 --> 00:41:27,854 Oh, Wangers? 1354 00:41:27,854 --> 00:41:29,322 You‐‐ you guys are going to Wangers? 1355 00:41:29,322 --> 00:41:30,223 Heh. 1356 00:41:30,223 --> 00:41:31,224 Nobody calls it that. 1357 00:41:31,224 --> 00:41:32,693 But yeah, we go every Saturday. 1358 00:41:32,693 --> 00:41:33,493 Cool. 1359 00:41:33,493 --> 00:41:34,260 Yeah, I'm in. 1360 00:41:40,534 --> 00:41:43,436 [cheering] 1361 00:41:43,436 --> 00:41:44,738 BETH: I knew it. 1362 00:41:44,738 --> 00:41:47,107 I mean, deep down, you know it's an athletic ability. 1363 00:41:47,107 --> 00:41:48,842 I mean, I haven't kicked a ball since eighth grade, 1364 00:41:48,842 --> 00:41:49,976 but I've been competitive‐drinking 1365 00:41:49,976 --> 00:41:51,044 since ninth. 1366 00:41:51,044 --> 00:41:52,345 Hi. 1367 00:41:52,345 --> 00:41:54,681 Sorry to interrupt, but did you lose a business card? 1368 00:41:54,681 --> 00:41:55,882 No I don't‐‐ 1369 00:41:55,882 --> 00:41:58,552 No, you didn't, because that one's mine. 1370 00:41:58,552 --> 00:42:01,487 Call me. 1371 00:42:01,487 --> 00:42:02,455 That's a good move, man. 1372 00:42:02,455 --> 00:42:03,256 I got to do that. 1373 00:42:03,256 --> 00:42:04,691 Perhaps some business cards. 1374 00:42:04,691 --> 00:42:06,693 Holy shit, dude. 1375 00:42:06,693 --> 00:42:08,929 Adam! 1376 00:42:08,929 --> 00:42:09,763 You two know each other? 1377 00:42:09,763 --> 00:42:11,932 Uh, I mean‐‐ 1378 00:42:11,932 --> 00:42:13,266 Shit, yeah, we do. 1379 00:42:13,266 --> 00:42:15,268 This is Adam Bomb right here. 1380 00:42:15,268 --> 00:42:16,202 Right, Adam Bomb. 1381 00:42:16,202 --> 00:42:17,070 Adam Bomb! 1382 00:42:17,070 --> 00:42:18,038 Like the bomb. 1383 00:42:18,038 --> 00:42:19,740 Adam Bomb, like the atom bomb, dude. 1384 00:42:19,740 --> 00:42:20,941 Exactly. 1385 00:42:20,941 --> 00:42:21,975 Great to see you, man. 1386 00:42:21,975 --> 00:42:23,109 You gonna introduce me to your friend? 1387 00:42:23,109 --> 00:42:24,745 Uh, Beth, Butler. 1388 00:42:24,745 --> 00:42:25,546 Hi. 1389 00:42:25,546 --> 00:42:27,681 It's very nice to meet you. 1390 00:42:27,681 --> 00:42:28,982 Butler's not my first name, though. 1391 00:42:28,982 --> 00:42:30,250 I only give my first name out to women 1392 00:42:30,250 --> 00:42:32,018 I'm about to have sex with. 1393 00:42:32,018 --> 00:42:35,488 It's Andrew. 1394 00:42:35,488 --> 00:42:36,489 Wow. 1395 00:42:36,489 --> 00:42:38,959 I'm going to go to the ladies' room. 1396 00:42:38,959 --> 00:42:40,894 Want to meet me back there? 1397 00:42:40,894 --> 00:42:41,695 Don't knock, you know? 1398 00:42:41,695 --> 00:42:43,530 Just‐‐ just blaze right in. 1399 00:42:43,530 --> 00:42:45,866 I absolutely will. 1400 00:42:45,866 --> 00:42:47,634 God, that's never actually worked before. 1401 00:42:47,634 --> 00:42:49,035 ‐Right. ‐Shit, man. 1402 00:42:49,035 --> 00:42:50,537 So how's it been going since high school? 1403 00:42:50,537 --> 00:42:51,872 Do people still call you Adam Bomb? 1404 00:42:51,872 --> 00:42:53,507 Uh, no. 1405 00:42:53,507 --> 00:42:54,841 Nobody really called me that but you. 1406 00:42:54,841 --> 00:42:55,676 No, man, no. 1407 00:42:55,676 --> 00:42:56,777 Other people called you that. 1408 00:42:56,777 --> 00:42:58,512 Well, you bullied them into that. 1409 00:42:58,512 --> 00:42:59,780 ‐Yeah. ‐Yeah. 1410 00:42:59,780 --> 00:43:00,947 Shit, man, I was good at that. 1411 00:43:00,947 --> 00:43:02,583 Good at‐‐ there's no good at bullying, really. 1412 00:43:02,583 --> 00:43:03,617 It's just bad. 1413 00:43:03,617 --> 00:43:04,484 No, you can be good at bullying, man. 1414 00:43:04,484 --> 00:43:05,451 ‐Yeah? ‐Oh, hello. 1415 00:43:05,451 --> 00:43:06,853 Were you the guy that ordered these? 1416 00:43:06,853 --> 00:43:07,654 Yes, I was. 1417 00:43:07,654 --> 00:43:08,454 Thank you very much. 1418 00:43:08,454 --> 00:43:09,422 Oh, my‐‐ oh. 1419 00:43:09,422 --> 00:43:10,657 Oh, shit. 1420 00:43:10,657 --> 00:43:13,026 My god, I am so sorry, ma'am. 1421 00:43:13,026 --> 00:43:13,860 I didn't mean to‐‐ 1422 00:43:13,860 --> 00:43:15,762 Oh, my god. 1423 00:43:15,762 --> 00:43:17,363 I totally meant to do that. 1424 00:43:17,363 --> 00:43:18,599 That was for you, buddy. 1425 00:43:18,599 --> 00:43:19,399 What? 1426 00:43:19,399 --> 00:43:20,333 I saw some nipple in there. 1427 00:43:20,333 --> 00:43:21,334 Did you see some nipple? 1428 00:43:21,334 --> 00:43:22,603 I wasn't really looking at her nipples. 1429 00:43:22,603 --> 00:43:23,570 I totally saw a nipple. 1430 00:43:23,570 --> 00:43:24,605 Hey, check it out. 1431 00:43:24,605 --> 00:43:25,939 I'm gonna leave this one here for you. 1432 00:43:25,939 --> 00:43:27,674 I only get two so I can come 'em on the ladies. 1433 00:43:27,674 --> 00:43:29,075 ‐Oh. ‐Great to see you, man. 1434 00:43:29,075 --> 00:43:29,876 Look. 1435 00:43:29,876 --> 00:43:31,645 Butler and the Bomb, man. 1436 00:43:31,645 --> 00:43:32,779 We have got to hang out. 1437 00:43:32,779 --> 00:43:33,880 That's my information. 1438 00:43:33,880 --> 00:43:35,115 You give me a call. 1439 00:43:35,115 --> 00:43:36,583 I'm gonna go to the bathroom, because I don't know 1440 00:43:36,583 --> 00:43:38,484 if your lady friend was kidding about wanting to fuck me, 1441 00:43:38,484 --> 00:43:39,953 but I am not going to take that chance, okay? 1442 00:43:39,953 --> 00:43:40,754 Okay 1443 00:43:40,754 --> 00:43:41,722 Great seeing you. 1444 00:43:41,722 --> 00:43:43,189 Oh, Jesus. 1445 00:43:43,189 --> 00:43:45,726 Fuck. 1446 00:43:45,726 --> 00:43:46,560 BETH: Is the coast clear? 1447 00:43:46,560 --> 00:43:47,994 ADAM: Yeah, you're safe. 1448 00:43:47,994 --> 00:43:49,162 That was weird. 1449 00:43:49,162 --> 00:43:50,230 Yep. 1450 00:43:50,230 --> 00:43:52,666 You should totally hang out with that guy. 1451 00:43:52,666 --> 00:43:53,499 He's got a great card. 1452 00:43:53,499 --> 00:43:54,467 I don't know. 1453 00:43:54,467 --> 00:43:55,602 I've done some awful things, but I 1454 00:43:55,602 --> 00:43:56,870 don't think I could ever be as douchey 1455 00:43:56,870 --> 00:43:59,039 as one of those finance guys. 1456 00:43:59,039 --> 00:44:00,974 You know Justin's in finance, right? 1457 00:44:00,974 --> 00:44:01,775 Oh. 1458 00:44:01,775 --> 00:44:02,609 Yeah. 1459 00:44:02,609 --> 00:44:04,511 I mean, they're not all douches. 1460 00:44:04,511 --> 00:44:05,311 I was just‐‐ 1461 00:44:05,311 --> 00:44:06,179 No, they are. 1462 00:44:06,179 --> 00:44:06,947 All of them. 1463 00:44:29,069 --> 00:44:31,071 [phone chimes] 1464 00:44:31,071 --> 00:44:32,072 'Sup? 1465 00:44:32,072 --> 00:44:32,873 Hmm? 1466 00:44:32,873 --> 00:44:34,074 We're texting Barrett now? 1467 00:44:37,010 --> 00:44:38,444 How the hell did you know? 1468 00:44:38,444 --> 00:44:39,880 Well, I mean, I'm the best. 1469 00:44:39,880 --> 00:44:40,914 I'm a mind reader. 1470 00:44:40,914 --> 00:44:42,983 And I also took your phone and changed 1471 00:44:42,983 --> 00:44:44,851 all the guys' numbers to mine, 'cause I 1472 00:44:44,851 --> 00:44:46,452 knew you were gonna crack. 1473 00:44:46,452 --> 00:44:47,854 Oh, come on. 1474 00:44:47,854 --> 00:44:49,422 It was a moment of weakness, all right? 1475 00:44:49,422 --> 00:44:50,524 It won't happen again. 1476 00:44:50,524 --> 00:44:52,358 Okay 1477 00:44:52,358 --> 00:44:53,760 And who texts "'sup" anyway? 1478 00:44:53,760 --> 00:44:55,729 What are you, 15? 1479 00:44:55,729 --> 00:44:56,863 So what's going on? 1480 00:44:56,863 --> 00:44:58,331 Do you not know what to do with yourself? 1481 00:44:58,331 --> 00:45:00,433 Uh, I don't know. 1482 00:45:00,433 --> 00:45:02,002 You need to try new things. 1483 00:45:02,002 --> 00:45:03,136 You need to meet new people. 1484 00:45:03,136 --> 00:45:06,372 Have you tried anything new since the breakup? 1485 00:45:06,372 --> 00:45:07,741 Yeah, I played kickball. 1486 00:45:07,741 --> 00:45:09,309 Okay 1487 00:45:09,309 --> 00:45:10,343 I fed a tiger. 1488 00:45:10,343 --> 00:45:11,144 Good! 1489 00:45:11,144 --> 00:45:12,378 Good, that's something. 1490 00:45:12,378 --> 00:45:13,680 You would've never gone to the zoo 1491 00:45:13,680 --> 00:45:17,050 if you were still hanging out‐‐ never mind, I got it. 1492 00:45:17,050 --> 00:45:18,118 We should make a list. 1493 00:45:18,118 --> 00:45:20,821 Uh, I'm not really a list guy, you know? 1494 00:45:20,821 --> 00:45:22,856 Adam. 1495 00:45:22,856 --> 00:45:23,657 Okay 1496 00:45:23,657 --> 00:45:26,560 Uh, let's make a list. 1497 00:45:26,560 --> 00:45:27,894 I'm proud of myself. 1498 00:45:27,894 --> 00:45:29,195 This list is coming along really well. 1499 00:45:29,195 --> 00:45:31,665 We got "get contacts," 'cause you need 'em. 1500 00:45:31,665 --> 00:45:33,133 Get shirts that fit. 1501 00:45:33,133 --> 00:45:35,068 And, uh, get off our family plan, man. 1502 00:45:35,068 --> 00:45:36,302 You're 30 years old. 1503 00:45:36,302 --> 00:45:37,671 ADAM: Yeah. 1504 00:45:37,671 --> 00:45:39,305 Oh, also, I want you to put down "have a threesome," too, 1505 00:45:39,305 --> 00:45:41,274 because if I have to put down and figure out what I'm going 1506 00:45:41,274 --> 00:45:42,943 to do with my life, then I want to have something 1507 00:45:42,943 --> 00:45:44,110 to look forward to as well. ‐I'll put down threesome. 1508 00:45:44,110 --> 00:45:45,579 Why are‐‐ what are we doing here? 1509 00:45:45,579 --> 00:45:46,479 Here you go. 1510 00:45:46,479 --> 00:45:49,082 DAVID: Thanks. 1511 00:45:49,082 --> 00:45:50,083 ADAM: Oh, my god. 1512 00:45:50,083 --> 00:45:53,119 That‐‐ I love this. 1513 00:45:53,119 --> 00:45:55,088 Do you have to display them like we're‐‐ 1514 00:45:55,088 --> 00:45:56,156 What is this? 1515 00:45:56,156 --> 00:45:57,958 [laughing] 1516 00:45:57,958 --> 00:45:59,660 That's so cute, dude! 1517 00:45:59,660 --> 00:46:00,493 Look at this. 1518 00:46:00,493 --> 00:46:02,529 You're so cute here, for real. 1519 00:46:02,529 --> 00:46:04,197 That's the cutest thing I've ever seen. 1520 00:46:04,197 --> 00:46:06,399 This looks like it would be on the back of a‐‐ like, 1521 00:46:06,399 --> 00:46:07,801 on a Spanish textbook. 1522 00:46:07,801 --> 00:46:10,303 And this is how you'd learn the word "happy" for Spanish. 1523 00:46:10,303 --> 00:46:12,472 I want to get 70 of these and line my wall in then so when 1524 00:46:12,472 --> 00:46:13,607 I wake up I'm super happy. 1525 00:46:13,607 --> 00:46:14,708 Do not put that on my account. 1526 00:46:18,512 --> 00:46:19,345 BETH: Hey. 1527 00:46:19,345 --> 00:46:20,514 Hey, what's up? Hi, Beth. 1528 00:46:20,514 --> 00:46:21,915 Good morning. ‐Morning. 1529 00:46:21,915 --> 00:46:23,349 What are you, uh‐‐ what are you working on? 1530 00:46:23,349 --> 00:46:25,051 Uh, if I tell you about it, you promise you're 1531 00:46:25,051 --> 00:46:25,986 not going to laugh at me? 1532 00:46:25,986 --> 00:46:26,920 No. 1533 00:46:26,920 --> 00:46:28,321 Okay, deal. 1534 00:46:28,321 --> 00:46:30,624 I'm not allowed to post on any of our fantasy message boards 1535 00:46:30,624 --> 00:46:31,925 anymore. 1536 00:46:31,925 --> 00:46:33,326 So I just kind of started this thing where I‐‐ I mean, 1537 00:46:33,326 --> 00:46:35,161 I guess it's a blog‐‐ where I just write about sports‐‐ 1538 00:46:35,161 --> 00:46:36,162 like baseball, football. 1539 00:46:36,162 --> 00:46:36,997 Lacrosse. 1540 00:46:36,997 --> 00:46:37,998 Well, no, not lacrosse. 1541 00:46:37,998 --> 00:46:39,132 People don't give a shit about that. 1542 00:46:39,132 --> 00:46:40,901 But yeah, it's just like for fun. 1543 00:46:40,901 --> 00:46:42,803 Like, I just write it to get it out of my brain. 1544 00:46:42,803 --> 00:46:44,437 I mean, nobody really sees it. 1545 00:46:44,437 --> 00:46:46,172 Well, we should fix that. 1546 00:46:46,172 --> 00:46:48,141 Okay 1547 00:46:48,141 --> 00:46:50,677 Um, you need, like, keywords. 1548 00:46:50,677 --> 00:46:54,615 Like, Lakers, Yankees, boobs. 1549 00:46:54,615 --> 00:46:55,616 Oh, yeah. 1550 00:46:55,616 --> 00:46:56,550 I don't know about what you're doing, 1551 00:46:56,550 --> 00:46:57,884 but I was going to suggest boobs. 1552 00:46:57,884 --> 00:46:59,620 Yeah, because you can never go wrong with boobs, right? 1553 00:46:59,620 --> 00:47:00,453 Right. 1554 00:47:00,453 --> 00:47:01,955 Well, that should‐‐ should help. 1555 00:47:01,955 --> 00:47:02,756 Oh, wait. 1556 00:47:02,756 --> 00:47:05,091 One second. 1557 00:47:05,091 --> 00:47:05,892 What are you doing now? 1558 00:47:05,892 --> 00:47:07,728 Just emailed it to myself. 1559 00:47:07,728 --> 00:47:08,929 Oh, nice. 1560 00:47:08,929 --> 00:47:10,463 I grew up with some pretty die‐hard Niners fans, 1561 00:47:10,463 --> 00:47:12,432 so I thought I'd send it to them to see if you actually 1562 00:47:12,432 --> 00:47:13,534 know what you're talking about. 1563 00:47:13,534 --> 00:47:14,300 Okay 1564 00:47:22,142 --> 00:47:23,276 Hi. 1565 00:47:23,276 --> 00:47:24,545 Hi. 1566 00:47:24,545 --> 00:47:26,980 Uh, hey, so thanks for setting me up with Krista, but‐‐ 1567 00:47:26,980 --> 00:47:28,348 Oh yeah, whatever, she's crazy. 1568 00:47:28,348 --> 00:47:30,584 Hey, have you spoken to Barrett? 1569 00:47:30,584 --> 00:47:32,753 Uh, as a matter of fact, no, I haven't 1570 00:47:32,753 --> 00:47:33,754 talked to Barrett at all. 1571 00:47:33,754 --> 00:47:34,588 Oh. 1572 00:47:34,588 --> 00:47:36,056 That's good. 1573 00:47:36,056 --> 00:47:37,758 He's just a hard guy to get a hold of right now. 1574 00:47:37,758 --> 00:47:38,759 Okay, cool. Talk to you later. 1575 00:47:38,759 --> 00:47:39,526 Bye! 1576 00:48:03,917 --> 00:48:06,186 Look, I feel really guilty meeting up with you like this, 1577 00:48:06,186 --> 00:48:07,153 but I really have no choice. 1578 00:48:09,923 --> 00:48:11,592 You followed? 1579 00:48:11,592 --> 00:48:13,426 No, I don't think so. 1580 00:48:13,426 --> 00:48:14,360 Can't be too sure. 1581 00:48:14,360 --> 00:48:17,330 We should probably speak in code. 1582 00:48:17,330 --> 00:48:20,567 The black scorpion awaits in the dark. 1583 00:48:20,567 --> 00:48:23,303 What‐‐ what are you talking about? 1584 00:48:23,303 --> 00:48:25,672 Is this about the man in the green beret? 1585 00:48:25,672 --> 00:48:26,540 Who? 1586 00:48:26,540 --> 00:48:27,841 Dude, you texted secret meeting. 1587 00:48:27,841 --> 00:48:29,109 I thought that means we speak in code, 1588 00:48:29,109 --> 00:48:30,110 like some bad‐ass spy shit. 1589 00:48:30,110 --> 00:48:31,211 Okay, but you got to be more specific. 1590 00:48:31,211 --> 00:48:32,679 I don't know about that shit‐‐ spy shit. 1591 00:48:32,679 --> 00:48:33,680 ‐Come on. ‐Why? 1592 00:48:33,680 --> 00:48:35,315 Is that why you look like Bruno Mars? 1593 00:48:35,315 --> 00:48:36,182 It's kind of a good look. 1594 00:48:36,182 --> 00:48:37,751 Oh, no. 1595 00:48:37,751 --> 00:48:38,552 Anyways, what's up? 1596 00:48:38,552 --> 00:48:39,385 Well, look. 1597 00:48:39,385 --> 00:48:40,821 There's this girl at work, Beth. 1598 00:48:40,821 --> 00:48:42,589 And she's been unusually flirty lately. 1599 00:48:42,589 --> 00:48:45,125 And I just‐‐ I think recently, she 1600 00:48:45,125 --> 00:48:46,326 broke up with her boyfriend. 1601 00:48:46,326 --> 00:48:49,730 And I just don't‐‐ I don't know what I should do. 1602 00:48:49,730 --> 00:48:51,464 Okay, so you like her? 1603 00:48:51,464 --> 00:48:53,900 Uh, I don't know, man. 1604 00:48:53,900 --> 00:48:55,936 I mean, yeah, she's like the perfect girl, you know? 1605 00:48:55,936 --> 00:48:57,638 She's‐‐ she's smart. 1606 00:48:57,638 --> 00:48:58,639 She's huge. 1607 00:48:58,639 --> 00:48:59,840 She looks great in a pair of shorts. 1608 00:48:59,840 --> 00:49:00,941 That's good. 1609 00:49:00,941 --> 00:49:02,008 Sometimes when I have to make a decision, 1610 00:49:02,008 --> 00:49:03,143 I'll think about what Beth, would maybe 1611 00:49:03,143 --> 00:49:04,678 think the right decision was, and then I would 1612 00:49:04,678 --> 00:49:05,979 gear my decision towards that. 1613 00:49:05,979 --> 00:49:07,514 The other day, I was at this crosswalk. 1614 00:49:07,514 --> 00:49:09,382 And I was waiting to cross the street. 1615 00:49:09,382 --> 00:49:12,285 And I caught myself daydreaming just about her laugh 1616 00:49:12,285 --> 00:49:14,888 and about how cute Christmas year her voice was. 1617 00:49:14,888 --> 00:49:19,359 And I just‐‐ I totally missed two walk signals. 1618 00:49:19,359 --> 00:49:20,460 I don't know. 1619 00:49:20,460 --> 00:49:21,261 If you're asking me now, I guess I haven't 1620 00:49:21,261 --> 00:49:22,462 really thought about it. 1621 00:49:22,462 --> 00:49:24,330 So I just‐‐ I don't really have an answer for you. 1622 00:49:27,467 --> 00:49:29,302 Okay 1623 00:49:29,302 --> 00:49:31,471 Christmasy voice, huh? 1624 00:49:31,471 --> 00:49:32,973 Here's what you got to do. 1625 00:49:32,973 --> 00:49:35,041 If she's newly single, that means 1626 00:49:35,041 --> 00:49:38,311 you're not the only guy waiting in the wings ready to pounce. 1627 00:49:38,311 --> 00:49:39,713 You got to make a bold move. 1628 00:49:39,713 --> 00:49:43,016 Can't just be another shoulder for her to cry on. 1629 00:49:43,016 --> 00:49:45,519 Not if you want her to pounce on something else. 1630 00:49:45,519 --> 00:49:46,620 I'm talking about your penis. 1631 00:49:46,620 --> 00:49:47,688 No, I know. 1632 00:49:47,688 --> 00:49:48,789 There's really no other way to take that. 1633 00:49:48,789 --> 00:49:50,256 You're homophobic if you don't hold my hand. 1634 00:49:50,256 --> 00:49:51,792 You're homophobic if you don't hold my hand. 1635 00:49:51,792 --> 00:49:52,959 Do I look like I've gained weight? 1636 00:49:52,959 --> 00:49:54,227 Yeah. 1637 00:49:54,227 --> 00:49:55,361 ‐Whoa! ‐Whoa! 1638 00:49:55,361 --> 00:49:56,496 Whoa, whoa! 1639 00:49:56,496 --> 00:49:57,998 BARRETT: See, I told you we were being followed. 1640 00:49:57,998 --> 00:49:59,432 What the hell are you guys doing together? 1641 00:49:59,432 --> 00:50:02,435 Uh, what the hell are you guys doing together, huh? 1642 00:50:02,435 --> 00:50:03,537 We were having a secret meeting, 1643 00:50:03,537 --> 00:50:04,638 and it was totally Adam's fault! 1644 00:50:04,638 --> 00:50:05,438 Hey. 1645 00:50:05,438 --> 00:50:06,406 Aha! 1646 00:50:06,406 --> 00:50:07,608 Don't "aha" me. 1647 00:50:07,608 --> 00:50:09,342 You guys are together too, so what's going on? 1648 00:50:09,342 --> 00:50:10,644 Well, we were having a secret meeting 1649 00:50:10,644 --> 00:50:11,545 about your secret meeting. 1650 00:50:11,545 --> 00:50:12,579 Oh, really? 1651 00:50:12,579 --> 00:50:13,980 And how the fuck did you guys find out? 1652 00:50:13,980 --> 00:50:17,050 Because Barrett tweeted, "Super secret meeting, 1653 00:50:17,050 --> 00:50:18,952 undisclosed location. 1654 00:50:18,952 --> 00:50:21,622 Spy, bad‐ass style." 1655 00:50:21,622 --> 00:50:23,857 140 characters, got it in. 1656 00:50:23,857 --> 00:50:25,425 Why are you following me on Twitter still? 1657 00:50:25,425 --> 00:50:26,292 We broke up. 1658 00:50:26,292 --> 00:50:27,193 MOOK: Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. 1659 00:50:27,193 --> 00:50:28,862 We're so broken up. 1660 00:50:28,862 --> 00:50:29,863 I trusted you, Adam. 1661 00:50:29,863 --> 00:50:30,864 I trusted you! 1662 00:50:30,864 --> 00:50:31,732 All right, don't make that about trust. 1663 00:50:31,732 --> 00:50:32,566 No, no, no. ‐No, come on, no. 1664 00:50:32,566 --> 00:50:33,700 HOWIE: No, you knew. 1665 00:50:33,700 --> 00:50:35,802 You know, know, know, know, know, know, know. 1666 00:50:35,802 --> 00:50:37,638 [interposing voices] 1667 00:50:37,638 --> 00:50:38,539 Hey, hey! Stop! 1668 00:50:38,539 --> 00:50:39,339 Look! 1669 00:50:39,339 --> 00:50:40,340 Listen! 1670 00:50:40,340 --> 00:50:41,775 We all know, know, know, know, know. 1671 00:50:41,775 --> 00:50:42,576 Okay? 1672 00:50:42,576 --> 00:50:43,777 But look. 1673 00:50:43,777 --> 00:50:45,178 We made a mistake. 1674 00:50:45,178 --> 00:50:47,781 But we're all guilty. 1675 00:50:47,781 --> 00:50:48,782 Yes. 1676 00:50:48,782 --> 00:50:52,418 [saying "yeah" repeatedly] 1677 00:50:52,418 --> 00:50:53,219 Yes, yeah, yeah. 1678 00:50:53,219 --> 00:50:54,020 Okay 1679 00:50:54,020 --> 00:50:55,188 I get you, yeah, yeah, yeah. 1680 00:50:55,188 --> 00:50:56,590 All right, so what do we do now? 1681 00:50:56,590 --> 00:50:57,991 Well, we don't tell David about it. 1682 00:50:57,991 --> 00:50:59,092 That's for sure. 1683 00:50:59,092 --> 00:51:01,662 It's best that David stays out of it, right? 1684 00:51:01,662 --> 00:51:02,663 ADAM: Right. 1685 00:51:02,663 --> 00:51:03,429 BARRETT: Yeah. 1686 00:51:09,469 --> 00:51:10,971 You guys do whatever you gotta do. 1687 00:51:10,971 --> 00:51:12,338 Excuse me, boys. 1688 00:51:12,338 --> 00:51:13,439 ‐Where are you going? ‐Barrett. 1689 00:51:13,439 --> 00:51:14,407 Barrett, where are you going? 1690 00:51:16,843 --> 00:51:17,644 Oh. 1691 00:51:17,644 --> 00:51:19,012 Wow. 1692 00:51:19,012 --> 00:51:20,947 Stay strong, guys, you know? 1693 00:51:20,947 --> 00:51:23,550 Just‐‐ we don't need to go in there. 1694 00:51:23,550 --> 00:51:25,519 This is wrong. 1695 00:51:25,519 --> 00:51:27,521 This is so wrong. 1696 00:51:27,521 --> 00:51:28,989 Oh. 1697 00:51:28,989 --> 00:51:30,490 Mook. 1698 00:51:30,490 --> 00:51:31,592 Barrett, [inaudible]. 1699 00:51:31,592 --> 00:51:33,994 I'm gonna walk over there, man, you know? 1700 00:51:33,994 --> 00:51:37,598 Just walk over there, see what happens. 1701 00:51:37,598 --> 00:51:39,900 Howie. 1702 00:51:39,900 --> 00:51:41,334 Fuckin'‐‐ Howie. 1703 00:51:43,970 --> 00:51:44,738 Oh. 1704 00:51:53,547 --> 00:51:54,715 Hey, guys. What's up? 1705 00:51:54,715 --> 00:51:55,816 ‐Hey. ‐Hi. 1706 00:51:55,816 --> 00:51:57,117 I haven't seen you forever. How you been? 1707 00:51:57,117 --> 00:51:58,051 Ugh. 1708 00:51:58,051 --> 00:51:59,653 It's good to see you back together. 1709 00:51:59,653 --> 00:52:00,721 Oh, we're not back together. 1710 00:52:00,721 --> 00:52:01,522 We're just kinda‐‐ 1711 00:52:01,522 --> 00:52:03,023 Nah, no, we just got drunk. 1712 00:52:03,023 --> 00:52:06,259 Yeah, I don't know if I'm‐‐ I'm ready to just 1713 00:52:06,259 --> 00:52:07,661 dive back in again, you know? 1714 00:52:11,297 --> 00:52:12,699 Okay 1715 00:52:12,699 --> 00:52:17,037 So are we back together again? 1716 00:52:17,037 --> 00:52:19,973 Oh, well, well, well, well, well. 1717 00:52:19,973 --> 00:52:21,307 David, this isn't what it looks like. 1718 00:52:21,307 --> 00:52:22,709 DAVID: Really, Howie? 1719 00:52:22,709 --> 00:52:24,545 Because it looks to me like you guys all went out last night, 1720 00:52:24,545 --> 00:52:25,746 got shit hammered, and now you're 1721 00:52:25,746 --> 00:52:27,247 eating breakfast in the same filthy clothes 1722 00:52:27,247 --> 00:52:28,414 you were wearing the night before. 1723 00:52:28,414 --> 00:52:30,450 How did you‐‐ how do you know we're here? 1724 00:52:30,450 --> 00:52:33,820 Well, when you guys broke up, I got this made up. 1725 00:52:33,820 --> 00:52:36,189 Gave it to all the bars around town. 1726 00:52:36,189 --> 00:52:37,023 Really? 1727 00:52:37,023 --> 00:52:38,792 I look awesome in this photo. 1728 00:52:38,792 --> 00:52:40,493 ADAM: Yeah, it's a good photo. 1729 00:52:40,493 --> 00:52:42,062 Who ratted? 1730 00:52:42,062 --> 00:52:43,429 DAVID: Pretty much all of them. 1731 00:52:43,429 --> 00:52:46,132 You guys must have had a crazy night last night. 1732 00:52:46,132 --> 00:52:48,101 And also the fact that someone texted 1733 00:52:48,101 --> 00:52:49,870 me a picture of their scrotum at 5:00 in the morning 1734 00:52:49,870 --> 00:52:51,104 didn't really help matters. 1735 00:52:51,104 --> 00:52:51,905 Whose scrotum? 1736 00:52:51,905 --> 00:52:52,739 I don't know, Mook. 1737 00:52:52,739 --> 00:52:54,174 It wasn't wearing a name tag. 1738 00:52:54,174 --> 00:52:55,441 Look, guys. 1739 00:52:55,441 --> 00:52:57,711 I understand that this is hard for you. 1740 00:52:57,711 --> 00:52:59,179 Unfortunately, you all should have 1741 00:52:59,179 --> 00:53:00,213 been somewhere else last night. 1742 00:53:00,213 --> 00:53:02,716 Do you just carry the breakup contract 1743 00:53:02,716 --> 00:53:03,850 around with you at all times? 1744 00:53:03,850 --> 00:53:04,651 It's weird. 1745 00:53:04,651 --> 00:53:05,652 It's really weird. 1746 00:53:05,652 --> 00:53:06,853 Well, I'm sorry, you guys. 1747 00:53:06,853 --> 00:53:08,755 But you have to say goodbye to fantasy football. 1748 00:53:08,755 --> 00:53:11,892 All money will be refunded immediately. 1749 00:53:11,892 --> 00:53:14,360 And unfortunately, since this all 1750 00:53:14,360 --> 00:53:16,429 started with a secret meeting‐‐ thanks for the tweet, 1751 00:53:16,429 --> 00:53:17,898 Barrett‐‐ two violations have occurred. 1752 00:53:17,898 --> 00:53:19,199 Come on, dude. 1753 00:53:19,199 --> 00:53:21,935 I'm sorry to say the place on 9th Street is‐‐ is gone. 1754 00:53:21,935 --> 00:53:23,604 And I'm going to give Amanda the jack and jill 1755 00:53:23,604 --> 00:53:24,605 party she's always wanted. 1756 00:53:24,605 --> 00:53:25,839 I hate when you say those words. 1757 00:53:25,839 --> 00:53:26,640 It's discussing. 1758 00:53:26,640 --> 00:53:27,908 It's so fucking lame. 1759 00:53:27,908 --> 00:53:29,776 Stay away from each other, I'm telling you 1760 00:53:29,776 --> 00:53:32,012 guys, because if I catch you one more time, 1761 00:53:32,012 --> 00:53:34,047 you're gonna be paying for booze at my wedding, 1762 00:53:34,047 --> 00:53:36,082 and fantasy baseball will disappear. 1763 00:53:36,082 --> 00:53:37,918 HOWIE: Oh, you are drunk with power! 1764 00:53:37,918 --> 00:53:38,952 You have a problem! 1765 00:53:38,952 --> 00:53:40,754 Hey, David, guess what. 1766 00:53:40,754 --> 00:53:42,055 That was my scrotum! 1767 00:53:50,163 --> 00:53:51,497 Yeah. 1768 00:53:51,497 --> 00:53:53,834 Heh. 1769 00:53:53,834 --> 00:53:55,435 There you go, bro. 1770 00:53:55,435 --> 00:53:57,938 Just‐‐ I'm sorry. 1771 00:53:57,938 --> 00:53:58,739 Oh. 1772 00:53:58,739 --> 00:53:59,540 I'm sorry. 1773 00:53:59,540 --> 00:54:00,874 You‐hoo‐hoo. 1774 00:54:00,874 --> 00:54:03,109 I almost marked you down for too hungover to consider it. 1775 00:54:03,109 --> 00:54:04,745 Very funny. 1776 00:54:04,745 --> 00:54:06,279 What happened to you last night? 1777 00:54:06,279 --> 00:54:07,581 Well, let's see. 1778 00:54:07,581 --> 00:54:09,249 I went out with some girlfriends. 1779 00:54:09,249 --> 00:54:12,786 We went drinking and dancing. 1780 00:54:12,786 --> 00:54:14,788 And I think I may have done some more drinking. 1781 00:54:14,788 --> 00:54:16,590 I'm not going to Wangers today. 1782 00:54:16,590 --> 00:54:17,558 Oh, yeah. 1783 00:54:17,558 --> 00:54:20,527 Hey, nobody calls it that. 1784 00:54:20,527 --> 00:54:21,695 So you're gonna take it easy? 1785 00:54:21,695 --> 00:54:23,597 Yeah, I‐‐ I want to take it easy. 1786 00:54:23,597 --> 00:54:24,598 I could take it easy too. 1787 00:54:24,598 --> 00:54:25,365 What are we doing? 1788 00:54:27,701 --> 00:54:28,501 What are we doing? 1789 00:54:28,501 --> 00:54:29,636 Yeah, me and you. 1790 00:54:29,636 --> 00:54:30,971 We're at a park. 1791 00:54:30,971 --> 00:54:33,206 They got a lot of cool, like, trees we could lay under. 1792 00:54:33,206 --> 00:54:34,741 We could walk around. 1793 00:54:34,741 --> 00:54:36,409 We could go on‐‐ rowboats? 1794 00:54:36,409 --> 00:54:37,443 They have rowboats. 1795 00:54:37,443 --> 00:54:38,612 Did you know they have rowboats here? 1796 00:54:38,612 --> 00:54:39,613 That's awesome. 1797 00:54:39,613 --> 00:54:40,647 Let's do that. 1798 00:54:40,647 --> 00:54:41,782 No. 1799 00:54:41,782 --> 00:54:43,216 ADAM: Yeah, for sure. 1800 00:54:43,216 --> 00:54:45,519 We're doing it. 1801 00:54:45,519 --> 00:54:46,553 I guess it does look like fun. 1802 00:54:46,553 --> 00:54:47,387 [kickball hits head] 1803 00:54:47,387 --> 00:54:48,354 Aah, fuck! 1804 00:54:48,354 --> 00:54:50,023 Ha ha ha! 1805 00:54:50,023 --> 00:54:51,858 All right, I think it's your turn to row. 1806 00:54:51,858 --> 00:54:52,593 [chuckles] What? 1807 00:54:52,593 --> 00:54:54,561 We just got out here. 1808 00:54:54,561 --> 00:54:57,430 I know, but it's like it's exercise disguised as fun, 1809 00:54:57,430 --> 00:54:58,732 and I don't like that. 1810 00:54:58,732 --> 00:54:59,666 Oh, guess what. 1811 00:54:59,666 --> 00:55:02,168 My dad is a fan of your blog. 1812 00:55:02,168 --> 00:55:03,036 Oh. 1813 00:55:03,036 --> 00:55:04,470 Cool. You know, it's funny. 1814 00:55:04,470 --> 00:55:06,172 I think that a lot of people are actually reading 1815 00:55:06,172 --> 00:55:07,741 my stuff now because of you. 1816 00:55:07,741 --> 00:55:10,076 No, they're reading it because it's good. 1817 00:55:10,076 --> 00:55:11,712 But you have to keep updating it, 1818 00:55:11,712 --> 00:55:13,213 and then more people will read it. 1819 00:55:13,213 --> 00:55:16,149 I would, but I got‐‐ like, I'm really‐‐ I'm just so busy, 1820 00:55:16,149 --> 00:55:16,950 you know? 1821 00:55:16,950 --> 00:55:18,752 Like I got, like, uh, work. 1822 00:55:18,752 --> 00:55:21,487 And now, um, I got this rowboat hobby that I'm doing. 1823 00:55:21,487 --> 00:55:24,257 Um, hey, why don't you break up with Justin? 1824 00:55:24,257 --> 00:55:25,491 I'm sorry, what? 1825 00:55:25,491 --> 00:55:26,893 Is it 'cause you‐‐ he's, like, the kinda 1826 00:55:26,893 --> 00:55:29,495 guy that doesn't wear a costume at a Halloween party or what? 1827 00:55:29,495 --> 00:55:31,932 No. 1828 00:55:31,932 --> 00:55:32,999 Well, kinda. 1829 00:55:32,999 --> 00:55:34,500 I don't‐‐ I don't know. 1830 00:55:34,500 --> 00:55:35,969 Maybe we could hang out sometime. 1831 00:55:35,969 --> 00:55:37,103 I mean, do you like sushi? 1832 00:55:37,103 --> 00:55:38,438 There's a really cool place that opened up. 1833 00:55:38,438 --> 00:55:40,941 I mean, I just broke up with him last week. 1834 00:55:40,941 --> 00:55:42,576 Guess somebody got you already, huh? 1835 00:55:42,576 --> 00:55:43,977 Are you being serious right now? 1836 00:55:43,977 --> 00:55:44,978 I am. 1837 00:55:44,978 --> 00:55:47,080 I just‐‐ you know, you're single now. 1838 00:55:47,080 --> 00:55:48,815 And I just felt like it was probably 1839 00:55:48,815 --> 00:55:50,450 a good time to get in there. 1840 00:55:50,450 --> 00:55:51,618 Not in there. 1841 00:55:51,618 --> 00:55:52,553 Not like that. 1842 00:55:52,553 --> 00:55:54,220 But, uh, you know. 1843 00:55:54,220 --> 00:55:56,489 Ever since I've known you, you've‐‐ you've just 1844 00:55:56,489 --> 00:55:57,624 gone from guy to guy. 1845 00:55:57,624 --> 00:55:58,559 Heh‐heh. 1846 00:55:58,559 --> 00:55:59,526 I don't mean it like that. 1847 00:55:59,526 --> 00:56:00,894 That's a terrible way to say it too. 1848 00:56:00,894 --> 00:56:02,996 Look, I just‐‐ it's been a long time 1849 00:56:02,996 --> 00:56:05,566 since I've done something like this in the daylight 1850 00:56:05,566 --> 00:56:06,900 and just sober. 1851 00:56:06,900 --> 00:56:08,468 I've definitely never done it in a rowboat, 1852 00:56:08,468 --> 00:56:10,370 so please cut me some slack. 1853 00:56:10,370 --> 00:56:13,239 You know, while you're not totally off base, 1854 00:56:13,239 --> 00:56:17,310 I guess I've‐‐ I've been in relationship after relationship 1855 00:56:17,310 --> 00:56:19,112 ever since college, you know? 1856 00:56:19,112 --> 00:56:20,681 And it's‐‐ it's hard to figure out who 1857 00:56:20,681 --> 00:56:22,549 you are as a whole when you've always 1858 00:56:22,549 --> 00:56:24,651 been part of something else. 1859 00:56:24,651 --> 00:56:26,386 Does that make any sense? 1860 00:56:26,386 --> 00:56:27,487 Yeah. 1861 00:56:27,487 --> 00:56:29,756 Uh, I mean, it makes total sense, you know? 1862 00:56:29,756 --> 00:56:31,858 That's why I broke up with my friends. 1863 00:56:31,858 --> 00:56:33,760 With your friends? 1864 00:56:33,760 --> 00:56:36,362 It's just a stupid thing that we're doing, you know? 1865 00:56:36,362 --> 00:56:37,363 Oh, I get it. 1866 00:56:37,363 --> 00:56:38,699 That's where you're playing kickball. 1867 00:56:38,699 --> 00:56:39,766 You're on the rebound. 1868 00:56:39,766 --> 00:56:41,201 Heh‐heh. 1869 00:56:41,201 --> 00:56:44,170 So listen, I‐‐ I didn't‐‐ I didn't mean to screw this up. 1870 00:56:44,170 --> 00:56:47,373 I'm just‐‐ look, I like‐‐ I like hanging out with you. 1871 00:56:47,373 --> 00:56:49,943 And I like talking to you about stuff. 1872 00:56:49,943 --> 00:56:52,779 And I just figure, I don't know. 1873 00:56:52,779 --> 00:56:54,748 Hey, look, we're both in the same boat, right? 1874 00:56:54,748 --> 00:56:55,582 Oh, my god. 1875 00:56:55,582 --> 00:56:56,783 I know, that was super corny. 1876 00:56:56,783 --> 00:56:58,785 Even when I said it, I knew it was too much, but‐‐ 1877 00:56:58,785 --> 00:56:59,786 Oh, my god, Adam. 1878 00:56:59,786 --> 00:57:02,789 There is a guy masturbating over there! 1879 00:57:02,789 --> 00:57:03,690 ‐Holy shit. ‐Oh. 1880 00:57:03,690 --> 00:57:04,558 Oh. 1881 00:57:04,558 --> 00:57:05,559 ‐You dropped the oars? ‐Paddle. 1882 00:57:05,559 --> 00:57:06,359 Paddle, paddle. 1883 00:57:06,359 --> 00:57:07,761 [groans] 1884 00:57:08,762 --> 00:57:11,297 Hey, you guys. 1885 00:57:11,297 --> 00:57:12,232 How you doing? 1886 00:57:12,232 --> 00:57:13,800 Uh, pretty good. 1887 00:57:13,800 --> 00:57:15,168 How are you, man? 1888 00:57:15,168 --> 00:57:17,671 I'm great. 1889 00:57:17,671 --> 00:57:20,473 You look like a cute couple. 1890 00:57:20,473 --> 00:57:22,142 How long you been together? 1891 00:57:22,142 --> 00:57:23,744 We're not really going out together, you know? 1892 00:57:23,744 --> 00:57:26,346 We just have a, um‐‐ she's not really ready. 1893 00:57:26,346 --> 00:57:27,280 She's, uh‐‐ 1894 00:57:27,280 --> 00:57:28,381 I'm not‐‐ I'm not ready. 1895 00:57:28,381 --> 00:57:31,451 So, um, we can‐‐ 1896 00:57:31,451 --> 00:57:33,620 Timing is everything. 1897 00:57:33,620 --> 00:57:36,056 When I first moved out here in my 20s, 1898 00:57:36,056 --> 00:57:39,025 I wanted to go out every night and paint the town red. 1899 00:57:39,025 --> 00:57:41,494 I was dating this girl. 1900 00:57:41,494 --> 00:57:44,230 Her idea of a perfect evening was to stay home with a bottle 1901 00:57:44,230 --> 00:57:47,834 of wine, listen to Johnny Cash. 1902 00:57:47,834 --> 00:57:48,635 Now I'm older. 1903 00:57:48,635 --> 00:57:49,435 Oh, god. 1904 00:57:49,435 --> 00:57:52,272 And that's all I want to do. 1905 00:57:52,272 --> 00:57:55,208 Mm. 1906 00:57:55,208 --> 00:58:00,080 That girl‐‐ she's long gone. 1907 00:58:00,080 --> 00:58:00,847 She was the right girl. 1908 00:58:03,584 --> 00:58:04,450 Just the wrong time. 1909 00:58:10,023 --> 00:58:11,825 That's really sad, man. 1910 00:58:11,825 --> 00:58:13,359 That's sad, huh? 1911 00:58:13,359 --> 00:58:14,795 Adam, move the boat! 1912 00:58:14,795 --> 00:58:16,162 Oh, hey. Uh, yeah. 1913 00:58:16,162 --> 00:58:17,397 Thanks, man. 1914 00:58:17,397 --> 00:58:19,165 Uh, so we‐‐ we probably got to get out of here, so‐‐ 1915 00:58:19,165 --> 00:58:19,966 You need a hand? 1916 00:58:19,966 --> 00:58:20,767 Oh, no, thanks. 1917 00:58:20,767 --> 00:58:22,035 No‐‐ no hands. 1918 00:58:22,035 --> 00:58:23,770 Wow, so this guy was just whacking it in plain view? 1919 00:58:23,770 --> 00:58:24,705 Tastes amazing. 1920 00:58:24,705 --> 00:58:25,939 ADAM (ON PHONE): Yeah, he was just 1921 00:58:25,939 --> 00:58:28,742 standing there thumbing his dick, like, all casually 1922 00:58:28,742 --> 00:58:29,810 like he was reading a book. 1923 00:58:29,810 --> 00:58:30,744 Wow. 1924 00:58:30,744 --> 00:58:31,978 You have to admire that, you know? 1925 00:58:31,978 --> 00:58:33,814 Just to be so free. 1926 00:58:33,814 --> 00:58:34,615 I can't imagine. 1927 00:58:34,615 --> 00:58:35,749 I could never do that, you know? 1928 00:58:35,749 --> 00:58:36,850 And I'm engaged now. 1929 00:58:36,850 --> 00:58:38,218 That's probably one thing that I can't do. 1930 00:58:38,218 --> 00:58:40,621 You know, jerk off in public‐‐ I probably can't do that. 1931 00:58:40,621 --> 00:58:43,323 Are you nervous about the wedding, man? 1932 00:58:43,323 --> 00:58:44,958 No, not at all. 1933 00:58:44,958 --> 00:58:45,892 Why? I mean, maybe a little. 1934 00:58:45,892 --> 00:58:46,693 Why? 1935 00:58:46,693 --> 00:58:47,928 Where are you? 1936 00:58:47,928 --> 00:58:49,295 Um, I'm actually gonna pick up some food right now. 1937 00:58:49,295 --> 00:58:51,231 Do you want me to bring home dinner for you and Amanda? 1938 00:58:51,231 --> 00:58:52,198 DAVID (ON PHONE): Uh, no, no. 1939 00:58:52,198 --> 00:58:54,234 We're watching our weight. 1940 00:58:54,234 --> 00:58:55,636 Mm! 1941 00:58:55,636 --> 00:58:58,038 And‐‐ and hey, could‐‐ could you actually not come home tonight? 1942 00:58:58,038 --> 00:59:00,607 Yeah, it's just, we could kinda use the place to ourselves‐‐ 1943 00:59:00,607 --> 00:59:01,808 just the two of us, you know? 1944 00:59:01,808 --> 00:59:03,409 (SARCASTICALLY) Oh, you're such a romantic. 1945 00:59:03,409 --> 00:59:05,145 Yeah, I'll just‐‐ I'll stay in my room. 1946 00:59:05,145 --> 00:59:06,446 No, seriously, man. 1947 00:59:06,446 --> 00:59:08,181 We haven't‐‐ we haven't had sex since you've moved in. 1948 00:59:08,181 --> 00:59:09,415 It's the truth. 1949 00:59:09,415 --> 00:59:10,851 She can't do it knowing that you're in the next room. 1950 00:59:10,851 --> 00:59:12,352 So please? Just don't come home tonight. 1951 00:59:12,352 --> 00:59:13,587 Just please don't, you know? 1952 00:59:13,587 --> 00:59:15,455 Or just do something else. 1953 00:59:15,455 --> 00:59:16,857 Well, what the hell am I supposed to do? 1954 00:59:16,857 --> 00:59:18,091 I can't even hang out with anybody. 1955 00:59:18,091 --> 00:59:19,292 DAVID (ON PHONE): No, Adam. 1956 00:59:19,292 --> 00:59:20,794 You're not allowed to hang out with three guys, okay? 1957 00:59:20,794 --> 00:59:22,696 So just do something, anything, please. 1958 00:59:22,696 --> 00:59:23,797 I can't talk right now. 1959 00:59:23,797 --> 00:59:25,298 (MOUTH FULL) I'm in the middle of some really 1960 00:59:25,298 --> 00:59:26,399 important wedding shit, okay? 1961 00:59:26,399 --> 00:59:28,401 Babe, the rocky road one? 1962 00:59:28,401 --> 00:59:29,803 Marshmallows in cake? 1963 00:59:29,803 --> 00:59:30,671 (STERNLY) Don't come home. 1964 00:59:30,671 --> 00:59:31,538 All right. 1965 00:59:37,410 --> 00:59:40,781 [music playing] 1966 00:59:44,217 --> 00:59:46,653 Oh, god damn! 1967 00:59:46,653 --> 00:59:48,488 Adam fucking Bomb, man. 1968 00:59:48,488 --> 00:59:50,256 It is so good to have you, man. 1969 00:59:50,256 --> 00:59:51,057 Thanks for calling. 1970 00:59:51,057 --> 00:59:52,392 Yeah, thanks for having me. 1971 00:59:52,392 --> 00:59:53,727 Hey, do you want of this? 1972 00:59:53,727 --> 00:59:54,995 Uh, oh, no, thank you. 1973 00:59:54,995 --> 00:59:55,796 I'm good. 1974 00:59:55,796 --> 00:59:56,763 It's cocaine. 1975 00:59:56,763 --> 00:59:57,931 No, no, I definitely know what it is. 1976 00:59:57,931 --> 00:59:59,332 But I don't‐‐ ‐You don't do cocaine? 1977 00:59:59,332 --> 01:00:00,667 You don't want some of this? ‐I know. 1978 01:00:00,667 --> 01:00:01,467 Shh. 1979 01:00:01,467 --> 01:00:02,402 Don't‐‐ I‐‐ I'm all good. 1980 01:00:02,402 --> 01:00:03,403 Thank you. 1981 01:00:03,403 --> 01:00:05,071 This place is fucking awesome, right? 1982 01:00:05,071 --> 01:00:05,872 Yeah, it's pretty good. 1983 01:00:05,872 --> 01:00:06,707 That's Andrea. 1984 01:00:06,707 --> 01:00:07,874 She's a model. 1985 01:00:07,874 --> 01:00:09,142 Very cool. 1986 01:00:09,142 --> 01:00:10,777 I don't know what she models, but her skin is amazing. 1987 01:00:10,777 --> 01:00:11,578 Touch it. 1988 01:00:11,578 --> 01:00:12,412 Oh, no, I can see it. 1989 01:00:12,412 --> 01:00:13,379 That's‐‐ that's nice. 1990 01:00:13,379 --> 01:00:14,447 No, no, no, she doesn't mind. 1991 01:00:14,447 --> 01:00:15,682 Go ahead, touch her skin. ‐Okay 1992 01:00:15,682 --> 01:00:17,250 BUTLER: No, don't pat it. Like, touch it. 1993 01:00:17,250 --> 01:00:18,251 ‐Oh, like‐‐ ‐Yeah, get in there. 1994 01:00:18,251 --> 01:00:19,553 Yeah. ‐Okay 1995 01:00:19,553 --> 01:00:20,621 Okay 1996 01:00:20,621 --> 01:00:22,222 Honestly, after seeing someone like her, 1997 01:00:22,222 --> 01:00:24,424 I understand why you would cut somebody else's skin 1998 01:00:24,424 --> 01:00:25,792 off and wear it as your own. 1999 01:00:25,792 --> 01:00:26,860 Oh, my god! 2000 01:00:26,860 --> 01:00:27,961 No, don't worry about it, man. 2001 01:00:27,961 --> 01:00:28,995 I'm not actually gonna do that. 2002 01:00:28,995 --> 01:00:29,796 Yeah, good! 2003 01:00:29,796 --> 01:00:30,597 Look, man. 2004 01:00:30,597 --> 01:00:31,932 Be fucking cool, all right? 2005 01:00:31,932 --> 01:00:32,933 This is my joint. 2006 01:00:32,933 --> 01:00:34,134 Okay 2007 01:00:34,134 --> 01:00:36,502 I'll‐‐ I'll just‐‐ I'll be calm from here on out. 2008 01:00:36,502 --> 01:00:37,638 I'm just fucking with you, man. 2009 01:00:37,638 --> 01:00:38,905 ‐Ha. ‐I got you. 2010 01:00:38,905 --> 01:00:39,840 Oh, you got me? 2011 01:00:39,840 --> 01:00:41,241 I got you, Adam Bomb, man! 2012 01:00:41,241 --> 01:00:42,208 Let's do a lap. 2013 01:00:42,208 --> 01:00:42,976 Okay 2014 01:00:45,311 --> 01:00:47,180 Just like old times, right? 2015 01:00:47,180 --> 01:00:48,381 Yeah, kinda. 2016 01:00:48,381 --> 01:00:49,783 I mean, we didn't really hang out that much, but‐‐ 2017 01:00:49,783 --> 01:00:51,184 Hey. 2018 01:00:51,184 --> 01:00:53,687 Do you remember that time senior year, Mr. York's physics class? 2019 01:00:53,687 --> 01:00:56,557 I stole that answer key, copied it, and gave it to everybody. 2020 01:00:56,557 --> 01:00:59,059 And it turns out it was from, like, three years before. 2021 01:00:59,059 --> 01:01:02,796 And we all failed, and that one Asian kid killed himself? 2022 01:01:02,796 --> 01:01:03,797 Yeah. 2023 01:01:03,797 --> 01:01:05,932 I can't get that kid out of my head. 2024 01:01:05,932 --> 01:01:08,569 That kid still haunts my dreams. 2025 01:01:08,569 --> 01:01:10,270 Do you remember his name? 2026 01:01:10,270 --> 01:01:12,405 Uh, no. 2027 01:01:12,405 --> 01:01:13,740 It was Daniel Fu. 2028 01:01:13,740 --> 01:01:15,075 How do you forget that? 2029 01:01:15,075 --> 01:01:17,410 Oh, right. 2030 01:01:17,410 --> 01:01:19,513 Do you remember his face? 2031 01:01:19,513 --> 01:01:20,346 Yeah. 2032 01:01:20,346 --> 01:01:21,347 I remember what he looked like. 2033 01:01:21,347 --> 01:01:22,616 Okay 2034 01:01:22,616 --> 01:01:23,617 I do too. 2035 01:01:23,617 --> 01:01:24,651 Daniel Fu‐‐ now I remember his name. 2036 01:01:24,651 --> 01:01:26,186 Daniel Fu. 2037 01:01:26,186 --> 01:01:27,521 God damn it, I miss high school. 2038 01:01:27,521 --> 01:01:29,089 I fucking ruled that place. 2039 01:01:29,089 --> 01:01:30,490 Yeah. 2040 01:01:30,490 --> 01:01:32,826 This one's for you, Fu. 2041 01:01:32,826 --> 01:01:34,628 I'll never go away. 2042 01:01:37,497 --> 01:01:39,866 Hey, bitches love dancing, right? 2043 01:01:39,866 --> 01:01:40,967 Yeah, yeah, they do. 2044 01:01:40,967 --> 01:01:42,368 Hey, here's the thing. 2045 01:01:42,368 --> 01:01:45,906 I don't want you to fuck any of these girls, all right? 2046 01:01:45,906 --> 01:01:47,708 You're definitely going to get hep C. 2047 01:01:47,708 --> 01:01:48,775 ‐Huh. ‐I'm just kidding. 2048 01:01:48,775 --> 01:01:49,576 Oh. 2049 01:01:49,576 --> 01:01:51,578 You can fuck them. 2050 01:01:51,578 --> 01:01:53,113 Hep C is treatable with antibiotics. 2051 01:01:53,113 --> 01:01:54,380 Either way, you know? 2052 01:01:54,380 --> 01:01:55,582 Don't worry about it. 2053 01:01:55,582 --> 01:01:56,917 You're not going to get any ass dressed like this. 2054 01:01:56,917 --> 01:01:58,351 You look like a bag of wet sandwiches. 2055 01:01:58,351 --> 01:01:59,152 Oh. 2056 01:01:59,152 --> 01:02:00,386 Uh, that's so rude. 2057 01:02:00,386 --> 01:02:01,822 But, uh, it's my favorite shirt. 2058 01:02:01,822 --> 01:02:03,089 It's got a collar and everything, so. 2059 01:02:03,089 --> 01:02:03,890 Really? 2060 01:02:03,890 --> 01:02:06,960 This shirt cost $600. 2061 01:02:06,960 --> 01:02:09,696 $600, that shirt? 2062 01:02:09,696 --> 01:02:12,165 That's a‐‐ I mean, I don't even know how that could‐‐ wow, okay? 2063 01:02:12,165 --> 01:02:12,966 Fuck you. 2064 01:02:12,966 --> 01:02:13,800 Yeah, that's really soft. 2065 01:02:13,800 --> 01:02:14,801 That's amazing how soft‐‐ 2066 01:02:14,801 --> 01:02:15,902 Yeah, yeah, yeah, stop touching me. 2067 01:02:15,902 --> 01:02:17,538 Okay 2068 01:02:17,538 --> 01:02:20,373 I feel like you led me to that. 2069 01:02:20,373 --> 01:02:22,242 So how are you supposed to talk to girls here? 2070 01:02:22,242 --> 01:02:23,777 It's so loud. 2071 01:02:23,777 --> 01:02:26,346 God, you're not supposed to be talking at all. 2072 01:02:26,346 --> 01:02:28,248 You just have to have well‐defined cheekbones 2073 01:02:28,248 --> 01:02:29,382 and a shitload of money. 2074 01:02:29,382 --> 01:02:30,584 Ah. 2075 01:02:30,584 --> 01:02:33,286 Or you have to play for the Lakers like that guy. 2076 01:02:33,286 --> 01:02:34,454 ADAM: I don't really think that guy 2077 01:02:34,454 --> 01:02:35,455 actually plays for the Lakers. 2078 01:02:35,455 --> 01:02:37,157 He's just‐‐ maybe just a black guy 2079 01:02:37,157 --> 01:02:38,391 that bought a‐‐ a windbreaker. 2080 01:02:38,391 --> 01:02:39,593 But yeah. 2081 01:02:39,593 --> 01:02:40,661 I get what you're saying. 2082 01:02:40,661 --> 01:02:42,563 Oh, they could sure use them, huh? 2083 01:02:42,563 --> 01:02:43,897 Yeah, true that. 2084 01:02:43,897 --> 01:02:48,501 The Lakers man‐‐ they flop worse than M. Night Shyamalan. 2085 01:02:48,501 --> 01:02:49,570 Hey, where'd you hear that? 2086 01:02:49,570 --> 01:02:50,403 I wrote that. 2087 01:02:50,403 --> 01:02:51,204 Really? 2088 01:02:51,204 --> 01:02:52,138 Yeah. 2089 01:02:52,138 --> 01:02:52,973 No shit. 2090 01:02:52,973 --> 01:02:54,440 My roommate sent me that link. 2091 01:02:54,440 --> 01:02:55,441 I should introduce you. 2092 01:02:55,441 --> 01:02:56,877 He works for Yahoo. 2093 01:02:56,877 --> 01:02:58,144 They're looking for writers. 2094 01:02:58,144 --> 01:02:58,945 Really? 2095 01:02:58,945 --> 01:03:00,547 Which one's your roommate? 2096 01:03:00,547 --> 01:03:02,849 He's that old guy trying to party like he's 22. 2097 01:03:02,849 --> 01:03:06,052 Let's do some molly, motherfuckers! 2098 01:03:06,052 --> 01:03:06,853 Woo! 2099 01:03:06,853 --> 01:03:08,254 I feel amazing! 2100 01:03:08,254 --> 01:03:09,322 Hey, you know what? 2101 01:03:09,322 --> 01:03:10,390 I'll connect you guys later. 2102 01:03:10,390 --> 01:03:11,525 Don't worry about it. 2103 01:03:11,525 --> 01:03:12,626 Oh, shit! 2104 01:03:12,626 --> 01:03:14,460 This is our song, bros! 2105 01:03:14,460 --> 01:03:15,261 Let's go, Jim. 2106 01:03:15,261 --> 01:03:16,029 Let's go! 2107 01:03:18,999 --> 01:03:19,966 God. 2108 01:03:19,966 --> 01:03:24,437 That's‐‐ that's so exhausting. 2109 01:03:24,437 --> 01:03:25,471 All right, motherfuckers. 2110 01:03:25,471 --> 01:03:26,840 It's that time o' night. 2111 01:03:26,840 --> 01:03:28,341 Hand in your credit cards. 2112 01:03:28,341 --> 01:03:29,142 ADAM: What do we do? 2113 01:03:29,142 --> 01:03:30,243 We just split it up, yeah? 2114 01:03:30,243 --> 01:03:31,512 Split it‐‐ yeah, that's what we do. 2115 01:03:31,512 --> 01:03:32,345 No, bro. 2116 01:03:32,345 --> 01:03:33,647 We play credit card roulette. 2117 01:03:33,647 --> 01:03:37,117 We let the young lady to my left decide who is 2118 01:03:37,117 --> 01:03:40,486 the richest among us tonight. 2119 01:03:40,486 --> 01:03:42,523 Oh, the new guy! 2120 01:03:42,523 --> 01:03:44,090 New guy has to pay for everything! 2121 01:03:44,090 --> 01:03:44,925 Welcome to the circle! 2122 01:03:44,925 --> 01:03:46,092 ‐Adam Bomb! ‐Okay 2123 01:03:46,092 --> 01:03:47,160 All right. 2124 01:03:47,160 --> 01:03:48,562 ‐That can't be too bad, right? ‐Oh, yeah. 2125 01:03:48,562 --> 01:03:49,863 You got to pay for, what, six bottles? 2126 01:03:49,863 --> 01:03:52,198 Yeah, 2 grand‐‐ not even. 2127 01:03:52,198 --> 01:03:54,134 2 grand? 2128 01:03:54,134 --> 01:03:54,935 You're fucking serious? 2129 01:03:54,935 --> 01:03:56,336 Bro, do me a favor. 2130 01:03:56,336 --> 01:03:57,370 Tip her well. 2131 01:03:57,370 --> 01:03:58,905 She's coming back to the after‐party. 2132 01:03:58,905 --> 01:04:01,441 Let's rock and roll, my place! 2133 01:04:01,441 --> 01:04:02,876 Awesome hanging out with you, man. 2134 01:04:02,876 --> 01:04:03,710 We got to do this more. 2135 01:04:03,710 --> 01:04:04,477 Let's go. 2136 01:04:11,785 --> 01:04:14,354 So dude, thanks for giving us the place last night. 2137 01:04:14,354 --> 01:04:16,823 But Amanda came up with this amazing idea during dinner. 2138 01:04:16,823 --> 01:04:17,791 What? 2139 01:04:17,791 --> 01:04:19,192 Since we haven't had sex in so long, 2140 01:04:19,192 --> 01:04:20,961 we save ourselves for our wedding night 2141 01:04:20,961 --> 01:04:22,095 to make it more special, you know? 2142 01:04:22,095 --> 01:04:23,163 I think it's pretty cool. 2143 01:04:23,163 --> 01:04:24,364 That sounds like a terrible idea. 2144 01:04:24,364 --> 01:04:25,899 I think it's a great idea, because it's 2145 01:04:25,899 --> 01:04:27,500 like I'm a virgin again now. 2146 01:04:27,500 --> 01:04:28,501 You're not a virgin. 2147 01:04:28,501 --> 01:04:29,536 You're a dude that doesn't have sex, 2148 01:04:29,536 --> 01:04:30,637 and there's a lot of those out there. 2149 01:04:30,637 --> 01:04:31,972 All right, well, you can agree to disagree. 2150 01:04:31,972 --> 01:04:33,540 I think it's a great idea. 2151 01:04:33,540 --> 01:04:34,975 So anyway, how are you doing? 2152 01:04:34,975 --> 01:04:37,110 Well, I miss fantasy football more than I 2153 01:04:37,110 --> 01:04:38,311 miss our dead grandmother. 2154 01:04:38,311 --> 01:04:40,146 I had a nightmare the other night about a summer 2155 01:04:40,146 --> 01:04:41,347 without fantasy baseball. 2156 01:04:41,347 --> 01:04:42,549 That was terrible. 2157 01:04:42,549 --> 01:04:44,250 Other than that, I totally think that this breakup 2158 01:04:44,250 --> 01:04:45,185 was a mistake. 2159 01:04:45,185 --> 01:04:46,753 First of all, Nana would be crushed 2160 01:04:46,753 --> 01:04:48,021 if she heard you say that. 2161 01:04:48,021 --> 01:04:49,990 And the breakup was not a bad idea, okay? 2162 01:04:49,990 --> 01:04:50,991 You needed this. 2163 01:04:50,991 --> 01:04:51,925 So how are the other guys? 2164 01:04:51,925 --> 01:04:52,726 DAVID: They're good. 2165 01:04:52,726 --> 01:04:54,060 They're good. 2166 01:04:54,060 --> 01:04:55,896 Uh, Barrett enrolled in a couple of night classes at USC, 2167 01:04:55,896 --> 01:04:56,730 actually. 2168 01:04:56,730 --> 01:04:57,798 He's killing it with the girls. 2169 01:04:57,798 --> 01:04:59,566 Mook calls me a lot, actually. 2170 01:04:59,566 --> 01:05:00,934 I don't know what his deal is, but he's 2171 01:05:00,934 --> 01:05:02,235 taking some sort of class. 2172 01:05:02,235 --> 01:05:03,069 I don't know. 2173 01:05:03,069 --> 01:05:04,571 He wasn't really specific. 2174 01:05:04,571 --> 01:05:06,072 Howie emailed me. 2175 01:05:06,072 --> 01:05:08,108 He got a promotion, I think, at work. 2176 01:05:08,108 --> 01:05:10,410 And he's dating someone who's got a kid. 2177 01:05:10,410 --> 01:05:11,211 Okay, great. 2178 01:05:11,211 --> 01:05:12,078 So I'm in last place. 2179 01:05:12,078 --> 01:05:15,081 Dude, this is not a race. 2180 01:05:15,081 --> 01:05:16,282 What? 2181 01:05:16,282 --> 01:05:17,651 Nothing. 2182 01:05:17,651 --> 01:05:19,586 This guy is measuring my inner thigh, and I think it moved. 2183 01:05:19,586 --> 01:05:20,654 Oh, so you're‐‐ you're gay. 2184 01:05:20,654 --> 01:05:21,454 Oh, really? 2185 01:05:21,454 --> 01:05:22,589 I'm gay? 2186 01:05:22,589 --> 01:05:23,890 I'm in a committed relationship, and you just 2187 01:05:23,890 --> 01:05:25,258 broke up with a bunch of dudes. How am I gay? 2188 01:05:25,258 --> 01:05:26,192 You're in a committed relationship, 2189 01:05:26,192 --> 01:05:27,127 but you won't have sex with a girl. 2190 01:05:27,127 --> 01:05:28,261 I'm in a committed relationship, 2191 01:05:28,261 --> 01:05:30,030 but I'm choosing not to have sex with a girl. 2192 01:05:30,030 --> 01:05:31,431 How is that gay? 2193 01:05:31,431 --> 01:05:32,232 That's actually so gay. 2194 01:05:32,232 --> 01:05:33,066 That's so gay. 2195 01:05:33,066 --> 01:05:34,500 Yeah, I totally got that, yeah. 2196 01:05:34,500 --> 01:05:35,501 [phone chimes] 2197 01:05:35,501 --> 01:05:36,436 Oh. [inaudible] 2198 01:05:51,084 --> 01:05:52,953 BETH: I thought we were going to keep pretending 2199 01:05:52,953 --> 01:05:54,154 that exercising was fun. 2200 01:05:54,154 --> 01:05:56,923 You can't go jogging in that. 2201 01:05:56,923 --> 01:05:59,059 I honestly thought you were joking. 2202 01:05:59,059 --> 01:06:01,895 This outfit is not ironic. 2203 01:06:01,895 --> 01:06:02,796 [sighs] 2204 01:06:02,796 --> 01:06:03,697 So what are we gonna do now? 2205 01:06:06,432 --> 01:06:07,333 You know what? 2206 01:06:07,333 --> 01:06:08,434 You were right. 2207 01:06:08,434 --> 01:06:09,870 This is a way better idea than working out. 2208 01:06:09,870 --> 01:06:11,171 Yeah. 2209 01:06:11,171 --> 01:06:12,338 Stick with me, and you'll be out of shape in no time. 2210 01:06:12,338 --> 01:06:13,239 ‐I got it, I got it! ‐Oh. 2211 01:06:13,239 --> 01:06:14,440 ‐Oh. ‐Hey. 2212 01:06:14,440 --> 01:06:15,408 You all right? 2213 01:06:15,408 --> 01:06:16,342 Yeah, yeah, I'm good. 2214 01:06:25,218 --> 01:06:26,186 Adam. 2215 01:06:26,186 --> 01:06:27,654 What? 2216 01:06:27,654 --> 01:06:31,592 We should probably stop. 2217 01:06:31,592 --> 01:06:35,128 I mean, you know, uh, we don't have to stop. 2218 01:06:35,128 --> 01:06:39,132 I just‐‐ I don't want to screw things up, you know? 2219 01:06:39,132 --> 01:06:41,101 Well, for the record, I don't think it screws things up. 2220 01:06:41,101 --> 01:06:43,436 I think it makes things way better. 2221 01:06:43,436 --> 01:06:46,940 I just‐‐ I just don't think it's the right time. 2222 01:06:46,940 --> 01:06:47,808 Really? 2223 01:06:47,808 --> 01:06:49,275 You're single for once. 2224 01:06:49,275 --> 01:06:51,211 Technically, it's like the perfect time. 2225 01:06:51,211 --> 01:06:54,380 Yeah, but it doesn't feel that way to me. 2226 01:06:54,380 --> 01:06:56,717 Can't we just, you know, continue to hang out as friends 2227 01:06:56,717 --> 01:06:58,752 and see where it goes from there? 2228 01:06:58,752 --> 01:07:01,154 I'm just‐‐ I'm not ready for more than that. 2229 01:07:01,154 --> 01:07:02,623 Well I am. 2230 01:07:02,623 --> 01:07:04,357 Are you sure? 2231 01:07:04,357 --> 01:07:06,126 I think you need time to figure things out. 2232 01:07:06,126 --> 01:07:09,162 And I just‐‐ I just need you to give me some time too. 2233 01:07:09,162 --> 01:07:09,930 Oh, I will. 2234 01:07:09,930 --> 01:07:11,231 I‐‐ I totally will. 2235 01:07:11,231 --> 01:07:12,599 I think that time is great. 2236 01:07:12,599 --> 01:07:15,368 But I think that that thing that we just did where we kissed 2237 01:07:15,368 --> 01:07:17,070 is also awesome. 2238 01:07:17,070 --> 01:07:20,306 And I think that while we're taking that time, 2239 01:07:20,306 --> 01:07:24,010 we can continue to hang out and do cool things. 2240 01:07:24,010 --> 01:07:26,246 And every now and then, I'll kiss you, and‐‐ 2241 01:07:26,246 --> 01:07:28,682 Adam, look. 2242 01:07:28,682 --> 01:07:31,585 I just can't be at the top of your list right now. 2243 01:07:31,585 --> 01:07:33,754 I'm‐‐ I'm sorry, but that's where I'm at. 2244 01:07:37,023 --> 01:07:37,991 Well, it's not where I'm at. 2245 01:07:37,991 --> 01:07:38,992 I want more than that. 2246 01:07:55,008 --> 01:07:55,809 Hey, Adam. 2247 01:07:55,809 --> 01:07:56,910 Uh, sorry to bother you. 2248 01:07:56,910 --> 01:07:58,411 But I was thinking about putting together 2249 01:07:58,411 --> 01:08:00,881 a presentation regarding the NNL's ability to‐‐ 2250 01:08:00,881 --> 01:08:02,783 (SINGSONG VOICE) I'm in love. 2251 01:08:02,783 --> 01:08:04,017 Dude, her name is Stephanie. 2252 01:08:04,017 --> 01:08:05,552 And I know we're not supposed to say anything, 2253 01:08:05,552 --> 01:08:06,887 but I had to tell somebody. 2254 01:08:06,887 --> 01:08:07,688 Wow. 2255 01:08:07,688 --> 01:08:08,789 Where'd you meet her? 2256 01:08:08,789 --> 01:08:11,992 Uh, just this class where we learn things. 2257 01:08:11,992 --> 01:08:13,560 You know, books and shit. 2258 01:08:13,560 --> 01:08:15,195 Uh, anyway you'll get to meet her at David's 2259 01:08:15,195 --> 01:08:16,630 stupid jack and jill party. 2260 01:08:16,630 --> 01:08:17,430 Yeah, cool. 2261 01:08:17,430 --> 01:08:18,565 I'll get to meet your girl. 2262 01:08:18,565 --> 01:08:20,300 I'll get to meet Howie's girl and maybe her kid. 2263 01:08:20,300 --> 01:08:22,102 I'll get to meet, uh, Barrett's girls. 2264 01:08:22,102 --> 01:08:23,336 I'll sure he'll have a few hot coeds, 2265 01:08:23,336 --> 01:08:24,470 'cause he's the big man on campus. 2266 01:08:24,470 --> 01:08:26,439 It'll be a fucking great night for me. 2267 01:08:26,439 --> 01:08:27,541 Dude, are you doing all right? 2268 01:08:27,541 --> 01:08:28,575 Yeah, I'm great. 2269 01:08:28,575 --> 01:08:29,375 Never been better. 2270 01:08:29,375 --> 01:08:30,276 I still don't have a girl. 2271 01:08:30,276 --> 01:08:31,311 I'm broke as shit. 2272 01:08:31,311 --> 01:08:33,079 I'm sleeping on a pull‐out mattress. 2273 01:08:33,079 --> 01:08:34,447 And at any given moment, I'm worried 2274 01:08:34,447 --> 01:08:37,050 that a condom broke and I might have a litter of tiger cubs. 2275 01:08:37,050 --> 01:08:39,419 Uh, I don't know what that last part means. 2276 01:08:39,419 --> 01:08:40,554 But it can't be all bad. 2277 01:08:40,554 --> 01:08:42,222 No, no, no, no, no, it's not. 2278 01:08:42,222 --> 01:08:46,627 A guy at Yahoo who happens to be a raging fucking coke head 2279 01:08:46,627 --> 01:08:49,329 told me he might read an article I wrote on the 49ers. 2280 01:08:49,329 --> 01:08:50,163 Hey, Adam. 2281 01:08:50,163 --> 01:08:51,532 I just have a quick question. 2282 01:08:51,532 --> 01:08:52,999 Hey, Jamie, what's up? 2283 01:08:52,999 --> 01:08:54,000 Yeah, listen. 2284 01:08:54,000 --> 01:08:55,569 Barrett's just an enigma of the man, 2285 01:08:55,569 --> 01:08:56,770 and he's playing hard to get. 2286 01:08:56,770 --> 01:08:57,871 Oh. 2287 01:08:57,871 --> 01:08:59,472 I knew it. 2288 01:08:59,472 --> 01:09:01,842 I was totally gonna tell you that. 2289 01:09:01,842 --> 01:09:02,776 Shit. 2290 01:09:02,776 --> 01:09:04,010 Hey, uh, Mr. Richtman. 2291 01:09:04,010 --> 01:09:04,811 What is this? 2292 01:09:04,811 --> 01:09:05,812 Yeah, I know. 2293 01:09:05,812 --> 01:09:06,780 Look, I want to apologize about that. 2294 01:09:06,780 --> 01:09:07,714 I know I left that in there. 2295 01:09:07,714 --> 01:09:09,149 This is really good. 2296 01:09:09,149 --> 01:09:09,950 You wrote this? 2297 01:09:09,950 --> 01:09:10,784 Yeah. 2298 01:09:10,784 --> 01:09:12,519 I had no idea you were a writer. 2299 01:09:12,519 --> 01:09:13,486 I want to read more. 2300 01:09:13,486 --> 01:09:15,288 Where are the articles on lacrosse? 2301 01:09:15,288 --> 01:09:16,757 Uh, well, there aren't any. 2302 01:09:16,757 --> 01:09:18,825 Nobody cares about lacrosse. 2303 01:09:18,825 --> 01:09:20,026 What? 2304 01:09:20,026 --> 01:09:21,294 You've been here longer than I have. 2305 01:09:21,294 --> 01:09:22,395 I thought you loved lacrosse. 2306 01:09:22,395 --> 01:09:23,196 Me? 2307 01:09:23,196 --> 01:09:24,430 No. 2308 01:09:24,430 --> 01:09:25,766 Honestly, I thought you were the only one around here 2309 01:09:25,766 --> 01:09:27,000 that cared about lacrosse? 2310 01:09:27,000 --> 01:09:29,102 What are you doing here if you don't like lacrosse? 2311 01:09:29,102 --> 01:09:30,103 I don't know. 2312 01:09:30,103 --> 01:09:31,738 It's my job. 2313 01:09:31,738 --> 01:09:33,840 Oh, no. 2314 01:09:33,840 --> 01:09:38,011 You're talking to me like a guy who wants me to fire him. 2315 01:09:38,011 --> 01:09:41,648 No, I‐‐ I think that that is maybe what I want. 2316 01:09:41,648 --> 01:09:42,916 [groans] ADAM: Actually, no. 2317 01:09:42,916 --> 01:09:44,250 I‐‐ look, I don't want to get fired. 2318 01:09:44,250 --> 01:09:45,051 Don't fire me. 2319 01:09:45,051 --> 01:09:46,052 Okay 2320 01:09:46,052 --> 01:09:47,554 Good, I've never fired anybody before. 2321 01:09:47,554 --> 01:09:49,155 I mean, if I were you, I would fire me. 2322 01:09:49,155 --> 01:09:51,157 I mean, you know how long it took me to do my work today? 2323 01:09:51,157 --> 01:09:52,659 A full day's work, I did it in a half an hour, 2324 01:09:52,659 --> 01:09:53,760 and I wasn't even trying. 2325 01:09:53,760 --> 01:09:55,395 ‐How is it even possible? ‐I don't know. 2326 01:09:55,395 --> 01:09:56,429 It's just so easy. I mean‐‐ 2327 01:09:56,429 --> 01:09:57,397 RICHTMAN: All right, wait. I'm confused. 2328 01:09:57,397 --> 01:09:59,332 Do you want me to fire you or not? 2329 01:09:59,332 --> 01:10:00,433 No, I don't want you to fire me. 2330 01:10:00,433 --> 01:10:01,935 I just‐‐ I don't want to lose that too. 2331 01:10:01,935 --> 01:10:03,537 That's my job. ‐Good. 2332 01:10:03,537 --> 01:10:04,738 All right, so I'm not firing you. 2333 01:10:04,738 --> 01:10:05,772 ADAM: okay 2334 01:10:05,772 --> 01:10:06,540 Why not? 2335 01:10:06,540 --> 01:10:07,473 Ugh! 2336 01:10:07,473 --> 01:10:09,910 Look, I just‐‐ you want somebody 2337 01:10:09,910 --> 01:10:10,877 that wants to be here, right? 2338 01:10:10,877 --> 01:10:12,513 And I don't want to be here. 2339 01:10:12,513 --> 01:10:14,447 I mean, I have to move on with my life. 2340 01:10:14,447 --> 01:10:16,382 [sighs] 2341 01:10:16,382 --> 01:10:17,584 But seriously, don't fire me. 2342 01:10:17,584 --> 01:10:18,785 I don't want to get fired. 2343 01:10:18,785 --> 01:10:20,186 Oh, god. 2344 01:10:20,186 --> 01:10:22,122 All right, Adam. 2345 01:10:22,122 --> 01:10:22,923 You're fired. 2346 01:10:22,923 --> 01:10:24,290 MOOK: I'm coming with ya! 2347 01:10:24,290 --> 01:10:25,425 Mook, hold on. 2348 01:10:25,425 --> 01:10:26,259 No. 2349 01:10:26,259 --> 01:10:29,462 Just‐‐ it's against the rules. 2350 01:10:29,462 --> 01:10:30,797 [sighs] 2351 01:10:31,765 --> 01:10:34,400 Wow, this is emotional. 2352 01:10:34,400 --> 01:10:35,836 Come on. 2353 01:10:35,836 --> 01:10:38,371 No, I just never fired a guy before. 2354 01:10:38,371 --> 01:10:39,706 Okay 2355 01:10:39,706 --> 01:10:41,041 Are we good? 2356 01:10:41,041 --> 01:10:42,643 ‐Yeah, we're good. ‐Okay 2357 01:10:42,643 --> 01:10:43,810 You're still fired and we're good? 2358 01:10:43,810 --> 01:10:46,647 I'm fired and it's all good. 2359 01:10:46,647 --> 01:10:48,181 Great. 2360 01:10:48,181 --> 01:10:50,050 That felt good. 2361 01:10:50,050 --> 01:10:51,585 Who's next? 2362 01:10:51,585 --> 01:10:53,319 Lyle, meet me in my office. 2363 01:10:57,958 --> 01:10:59,259 Mook, you bring a plant and a keyboard? 2364 01:10:59,259 --> 01:11:01,127 Really? 2365 01:11:01,127 --> 01:11:02,362 [stammers] 2366 01:11:02,362 --> 01:11:03,997 DAVID: We were gonna‐‐ you were gonna talk first. 2367 01:11:03,997 --> 01:11:04,665 AMANDA: Oh, yeah. DAVID: Yeah. 2368 01:11:04,665 --> 01:11:05,632 Yeah. 2369 01:11:05,632 --> 01:11:07,067 I'm sorry. 2370 01:11:07,067 --> 01:11:09,335 They're all sitting in a circle, and they're looking at us. 2371 01:11:09,335 --> 01:11:10,270 Um. 2372 01:11:10,270 --> 01:11:11,071 Hi. 2373 01:11:11,071 --> 01:11:12,272 Hello, everyone. 2374 01:11:12,272 --> 01:11:16,476 Thank you for coming to our jack and jill party. 2375 01:11:16,476 --> 01:11:18,545 I'm Jack, heh‐heh. 2376 01:11:18,545 --> 01:11:19,913 Jill. 2377 01:11:19,913 --> 01:11:22,683 We have a lot of really fun games that we're going to play. 2378 01:11:22,683 --> 01:11:23,984 Don't we, David? 2379 01:11:23,984 --> 01:11:24,785 Yes. 2380 01:11:24,785 --> 01:11:25,586 Yes, we do. 2381 01:11:25,586 --> 01:11:27,721 Um, we have Dirty Taboo. 2382 01:11:27,721 --> 01:11:32,225 We have, um, Truth or Dare Jenga, which should be fun. 2383 01:11:32,225 --> 01:11:36,830 Um, we also have Naughty Pictionary. 2384 01:11:36,830 --> 01:11:38,532 We have Uno, which is just a great game. 2385 01:11:38,532 --> 01:11:40,200 Uh, heh. 2386 01:11:40,200 --> 01:11:42,335 Dominoes, where we could just kinda 2387 01:11:42,335 --> 01:11:46,740 line them up and see what, you know, uh, we could flick them. 2388 01:11:46,740 --> 01:11:47,508 What the fuck? 2389 01:11:50,176 --> 01:11:52,412 I think this was a pretty bad idea. 2390 01:11:52,412 --> 01:11:54,480 You guys, you look totally miserable. 2391 01:11:54,480 --> 01:11:55,281 Are you? 2392 01:11:55,281 --> 01:11:59,252 [monotonous responses] 2393 01:11:59,252 --> 01:12:00,554 Okay 2394 01:12:00,554 --> 01:12:01,688 New plan. 2395 01:12:01,688 --> 01:12:04,891 Ladies, you guys all come with me. 2396 01:12:04,891 --> 01:12:06,092 We're going to go to a club. 2397 01:12:06,092 --> 01:12:06,860 Okay? 2398 01:12:06,860 --> 01:12:08,595 Guys, you stay here. 2399 01:12:08,595 --> 01:12:10,731 Have your bachelor party. 2400 01:12:10,731 --> 01:12:11,632 Get crazy. 2401 01:12:11,632 --> 01:12:12,465 Do what you do. 2402 01:12:12,465 --> 01:12:13,734 I don't need to know about it. 2403 01:12:13,734 --> 01:12:14,668 How does that sound? 2404 01:12:14,668 --> 01:12:17,137 [positive responses] 2405 01:12:17,137 --> 01:12:18,572 That sounds great, babe. 2406 01:12:21,775 --> 01:12:22,576 AMANDA: Hey, babe? 2407 01:12:22,576 --> 01:12:23,510 Mm‐hmm? 2408 01:12:23,510 --> 01:12:25,078 You fuck a stripper, I kill you. 2409 01:12:25,078 --> 01:12:26,046 Okay? 2410 01:12:26,046 --> 01:12:26,847 [inaudible] 2411 01:12:26,847 --> 01:12:28,549 Okay 2412 01:12:28,549 --> 01:12:30,517 [inaudible] 2413 01:12:30,517 --> 01:12:33,520 [music playing] 2414 01:12:33,520 --> 01:12:35,989 Man, it's so good that those girls are gone. 2415 01:12:35,989 --> 01:12:37,524 It's been a long time since we've done this. 2416 01:12:37,524 --> 01:12:38,959 We needed it. HOWIE: Hey, hey, hey! 2417 01:12:38,959 --> 01:12:40,927 Hey, look at me! 2418 01:12:40,927 --> 01:12:44,064 Looks like I'm going to be the robe guy of this party, huh? 2419 01:12:44,064 --> 01:12:45,231 Any objections? 2420 01:12:45,231 --> 01:12:46,867 Uh, maybe a couple. 2421 01:12:46,867 --> 01:12:48,034 Any luck? 2422 01:12:48,034 --> 01:12:49,670 Oh, I don't need luck, my friend. 2423 01:12:49,670 --> 01:12:52,205 I got a little thing called technology. 2424 01:12:52,205 --> 01:12:55,876 I just found this app, ordered two strippers. 2425 01:12:55,876 --> 01:12:56,843 You got strippers coming? 2426 01:12:56,843 --> 01:12:58,478 HOWIE: Oh, yeah. 2427 01:12:58,478 --> 01:13:00,647 They're, uh‐‐ 2428 01:13:00,647 --> 01:13:01,915 Wow, that dude is the saddest thing 2429 01:13:01,915 --> 01:13:02,949 I've ever seen in my life. 2430 01:13:02,949 --> 01:13:05,385 Let me put on some stripper music, yo! 2431 01:13:05,385 --> 01:13:07,320 Yeah! 2432 01:13:07,320 --> 01:13:08,421 Bam. 2433 01:13:08,421 --> 01:13:09,389 Yeah. [music playing] 2434 01:13:09,389 --> 01:13:10,190 [doorbell rings] 2435 01:13:10,190 --> 01:13:10,991 Oh, okay 2436 01:13:10,991 --> 01:13:11,958 The strippers are here. 2437 01:13:11,958 --> 01:13:12,859 Everybody sit down. 2438 01:13:12,859 --> 01:13:14,227 Sit down, sit down, sit down. 2439 01:13:14,227 --> 01:13:15,596 Come on, come on. Get on the couch! 2440 01:13:15,596 --> 01:13:16,496 Get on the couch! 2441 01:13:16,496 --> 01:13:17,497 And keep it together. 2442 01:13:17,497 --> 01:13:18,264 Keep it cool. 2443 01:13:18,264 --> 01:13:19,165 Do not embarrass me. 2444 01:13:19,165 --> 01:13:19,966 Chill. 2445 01:13:19,966 --> 01:13:20,834 Chill out. 2446 01:13:20,834 --> 01:13:22,068 Sorry I yelled. Let's have fun. 2447 01:13:22,068 --> 01:13:23,136 All right. 2448 01:13:23,136 --> 01:13:26,139 Just one second! 2449 01:13:26,139 --> 01:13:28,008 Hi, I love your beard. 2450 01:13:28,008 --> 01:13:28,809 Oh, heh‐heh. 2451 01:13:28,809 --> 01:13:29,810 Hey. 2452 01:13:29,810 --> 01:13:32,746 [cheering] 2453 01:13:36,282 --> 01:13:37,283 That's the guy! 2454 01:13:37,283 --> 01:13:38,785 That's the bachelor! 2455 01:13:38,785 --> 01:13:40,486 All right, that's me. 2456 01:13:40,486 --> 01:13:41,287 Anyway‐‐ 2457 01:13:41,287 --> 01:13:44,257 All right. 2458 01:13:44,257 --> 01:13:45,258 Yeah, okay 2459 01:13:45,258 --> 01:13:46,459 Yeah! 2460 01:13:46,459 --> 01:13:47,227 Wow. 2461 01:13:50,196 --> 01:13:51,598 Heh‐heh. 2462 01:13:51,598 --> 01:13:52,398 What? 2463 01:13:52,398 --> 01:13:53,333 Um‐‐ 2464 01:13:53,333 --> 01:13:54,735 Whoa. ADAM: Okay 2465 01:13:54,735 --> 01:13:55,536 Hold on. 2466 01:13:55,536 --> 01:13:57,203 Is‐‐ is everything okay? 2467 01:13:57,203 --> 01:13:58,338 Hey, she's crying. 2468 01:13:58,338 --> 01:13:59,540 Oh, yeah, yeah yeah, sorry. 2469 01:13:59,540 --> 01:14:00,974 He just gets really nervous before a gang bang. 2470 01:14:00,974 --> 01:14:03,109 [negative responses] 2471 01:14:03,109 --> 01:14:04,845 That's not what this is. 2472 01:14:04,845 --> 01:14:07,814 We can try it. 2473 01:14:07,814 --> 01:14:08,615 Or not. 2474 01:14:08,615 --> 01:14:09,482 Whatever. 2475 01:14:09,482 --> 01:14:10,951 What you guys want. 2476 01:14:10,951 --> 01:14:13,554 Gang bang, no gang bang, I'm here to support. 2477 01:14:13,554 --> 01:14:14,755 You girls on LinkedIn? 2478 01:14:14,755 --> 01:14:15,822 Excuse me, stripper? 2479 01:14:15,822 --> 01:14:19,259 We're not at all interested in a gang bang. 2480 01:14:19,259 --> 01:14:22,428 We're just looking for some innocent bachelor party fun 2481 01:14:22,428 --> 01:14:23,697 here, okay? 2482 01:14:23,697 --> 01:14:27,133 Maybe a little girl on girl if things get crazy. 2483 01:14:27,133 --> 01:14:29,035 We're not lesbian, you perverts. 2484 01:14:29,035 --> 01:14:30,436 How are we the perverts here? 2485 01:14:30,436 --> 01:14:31,905 Everyone, shut up. 2486 01:14:31,905 --> 01:14:32,973 You, bachelor. 2487 01:14:32,973 --> 01:14:35,341 It's $100 for handjobs, 250 for blowjobs, 2488 01:14:35,341 --> 01:14:37,243 and 500 to put it anywhere you want. 2489 01:14:37,243 --> 01:14:39,345 Well, almost anywhere. 2490 01:14:39,345 --> 01:14:41,214 The back door's always open, but the front door's closed 2491 01:14:41,214 --> 01:14:42,282 due to monthly maintenance. 2492 01:14:42,282 --> 01:14:43,416 ‐Oh, no! ‐No! 2493 01:14:43,416 --> 01:14:45,185 Unless you're into it, then it's double. 2494 01:14:45,185 --> 01:14:46,152 Double? 2495 01:14:46,152 --> 01:14:47,187 ADAM: I don't think you understand. 2496 01:14:47,187 --> 01:14:48,655 We're not really hooker guys. 2497 01:14:48,655 --> 01:14:50,657 Okay, well, we're really hookers. 2498 01:14:50,657 --> 01:14:51,925 HOWIE: All right, sweetie, look. 2499 01:14:51,925 --> 01:14:56,129 On this app, on this app, it says in the description 2500 01:14:56,129 --> 01:14:57,197 "exotic dancers." 2501 01:14:57,197 --> 01:14:58,431 Okay 2502 01:14:58,431 --> 01:15:01,301 Well, that's because‐‐ that's because we can't say 2503 01:15:01,301 --> 01:15:03,737 that we fuck for money, retard. 2504 01:15:03,737 --> 01:15:06,372 You are a very immature prostitute. 2505 01:15:06,372 --> 01:15:08,174 Oh, really, senator? 2506 01:15:08,174 --> 01:15:09,676 You're really immature yourself. 2507 01:15:09,676 --> 01:15:10,844 You know what? 2508 01:15:10,844 --> 01:15:12,378 We came all the way down here, and we're not 2509 01:15:12,378 --> 01:15:14,581 leaving until we get paid, okay? 2510 01:15:14,581 --> 01:15:15,816 So who's ready to fucking party? 2511 01:15:15,816 --> 01:15:16,950 ‐No, not like that. ‐Huh? 2512 01:15:16,950 --> 01:15:17,751 The brown guy? 2513 01:15:17,751 --> 01:15:19,485 You want to party? 2514 01:15:19,485 --> 01:15:22,322 Uh, how much is it for her to stop crying and for both of you 2515 01:15:22,322 --> 01:15:23,123 to go home? 2516 01:15:23,123 --> 01:15:24,558 [prostitute crying] 2517 01:15:24,558 --> 01:15:25,526 $300. 2518 01:15:25,526 --> 01:15:27,894 Oh, that's a ripoff, man. 2519 01:15:27,894 --> 01:15:29,062 How much for a handjob? 2520 01:15:29,062 --> 01:15:29,863 PUSSYPOP: Yes! 2521 01:15:29,863 --> 01:15:31,532 Pussypop is back! 2522 01:15:31,532 --> 01:15:33,433 [cheering] 2523 01:15:34,400 --> 01:15:35,869 See this? 2524 01:15:35,869 --> 01:15:37,303 Soak it in. 2525 01:15:37,303 --> 01:15:38,772 That's your future. 2526 01:15:38,772 --> 01:15:40,907 Nobody likes strippers more than married dudes. 2527 01:15:40,907 --> 01:15:42,509 Hell, is this one crying? 2528 01:15:42,509 --> 01:15:43,610 Well, shit. 2529 01:15:43,610 --> 01:15:45,846 I got some I'm into cry and not cry, cry, 2530 01:15:45,846 --> 01:15:48,481 cry, cry, cry, cry, cry, cry. 2531 01:15:48,481 --> 01:15:49,282 Cry! 2532 01:15:49,282 --> 01:15:51,251 Ha ha! 2533 01:15:51,251 --> 01:15:53,720 Yeah! 2534 01:15:53,720 --> 01:15:54,921 Why aren't you crying? 2535 01:15:54,921 --> 01:15:56,757 Hey, guys. 2536 01:15:56,757 --> 01:15:57,924 Let's get the fuck out of here. 2537 01:15:57,924 --> 01:15:58,725 [affirmative responses] 2538 01:15:58,725 --> 01:16:01,161 [laughter] 2539 01:16:01,161 --> 01:16:01,995 Hey, yeah. 2540 01:16:01,995 --> 01:16:02,963 You know what? 2541 01:16:02,963 --> 01:16:04,264 Hey, forget that jack and jill party. 2542 01:16:04,264 --> 01:16:05,799 That was way better than that, man. 2543 01:16:05,799 --> 01:16:06,600 Where's David? 2544 01:16:06,600 --> 01:16:07,701 [burps] 2545 01:16:07,701 --> 01:16:09,636 I think he's puking with Pussypop somewhere. 2546 01:16:09,636 --> 01:16:11,672 Where‐‐ where we going to take him next? 2547 01:16:11,672 --> 01:16:12,873 Let's go to Jumbo's, man. 2548 01:16:12,873 --> 01:16:13,674 Ooh! 2549 01:16:13,674 --> 01:16:14,708 Get him a lap dance. 2550 01:16:14,708 --> 01:16:15,976 Oh, wait, wait, wait, wait. 2551 01:16:15,976 --> 01:16:18,812 Oh, Deb says that her and the girls are at Poubelle. 2552 01:16:18,812 --> 01:16:19,980 Oh, let's just do that then. 2553 01:16:19,980 --> 01:16:21,381 Whoa, no way. Fuck that. 2554 01:16:21,381 --> 01:16:22,716 This is our night, dude. 2555 01:16:22,716 --> 01:16:25,218 Oh, but dude, you know, I'd really like you to meet Deb, 2556 01:16:25,218 --> 01:16:26,019 get to know her. 2557 01:16:26,019 --> 01:16:28,488 Ha‐ha, who cares about Deb? 2558 01:16:28,488 --> 01:16:30,090 ‐Well, I care about Deb. ‐No, I know. 2559 01:16:30,090 --> 01:16:31,592 I'm not‐‐ I don't mean it like that. 2560 01:16:31,592 --> 01:16:33,126 I'm just saying, you know, okay 2561 01:16:33,126 --> 01:16:34,060 Hey, look. 2562 01:16:34,060 --> 01:16:35,361 I'm going to stop right here. 2563 01:16:35,361 --> 01:16:36,429 Stop it. ‐What? 2564 01:16:36,429 --> 01:16:37,163 ‐Stop. ‐Stopping? 2565 01:16:37,163 --> 01:16:37,998 Stop. 2566 01:16:37,998 --> 01:16:38,832 Okay 2567 01:16:38,832 --> 01:16:42,803 I was going to wait to do this. 2568 01:16:42,803 --> 01:16:44,437 But fuck it, okay? 2569 01:16:46,940 --> 01:16:47,741 What is that? 2570 01:16:47,741 --> 01:16:49,142 What‐‐ what are those? 2571 01:16:49,142 --> 01:16:52,679 These are the keys to David's place, the place 2572 01:16:52,679 --> 01:16:54,214 that David was talking about. 2573 01:16:54,214 --> 01:16:56,049 I went down, and I convinced them 2574 01:16:56,049 --> 01:16:57,718 to let me make a deposit on it. 2575 01:16:57,718 --> 01:17:00,020 This place is ours. 2576 01:17:00,020 --> 01:17:02,455 Oh, dude. 2577 01:17:02,455 --> 01:17:03,657 You really did that? 2578 01:17:03,657 --> 01:17:05,926 I mean, that's‐‐ that's really cool. 2579 01:17:05,926 --> 01:17:11,698 But I've been actually saving up money to get my own place, 2580 01:17:11,698 --> 01:17:13,099 like a condo or something. 2581 01:17:13,099 --> 01:17:15,368 [laughs] 2582 01:17:15,368 --> 01:17:16,369 Howard, man. 2583 01:17:16,369 --> 01:17:18,038 Are you being responsible, Howard? 2584 01:17:18,038 --> 01:17:19,439 That is his name. 2585 01:17:19,439 --> 01:17:22,008 If you're responsible, you have to use your full name, Howard. 2586 01:17:22,008 --> 01:17:23,009 I don't know either. 2587 01:17:23,009 --> 01:17:25,445 I'm‐‐ I kinda like staying on campus. 2588 01:17:25,445 --> 01:17:27,581 I'm thinking about getting my master's, 2589 01:17:27,581 --> 01:17:28,815 maybe becoming a professor. 2590 01:17:28,815 --> 01:17:29,650 That's awesome. 2591 01:17:29,650 --> 01:17:31,117 You're gonna make a difference. 2592 01:17:31,117 --> 01:17:32,953 Yeah, maybe. 2593 01:17:32,953 --> 01:17:34,354 And I also get to hang around college 2594 01:17:34,354 --> 01:17:35,455 girls for the rest of my life. 2595 01:17:35,455 --> 01:17:37,023 So it's kinda like a no‐brainer, you know? 2596 01:17:37,023 --> 01:17:39,059 What's your excuse, huh, Mook? 2597 01:17:39,059 --> 01:17:41,194 I don't think the time is right. 2598 01:17:41,194 --> 01:17:43,296 You don't think it's the right time. 2599 01:17:43,296 --> 01:17:44,064 Ha. 2600 01:17:47,467 --> 01:17:48,468 Are you guys being serious? 2601 01:17:53,640 --> 01:17:56,242 You guys‐‐ you don't want to live together anymore? 2602 01:18:00,514 --> 01:18:01,915 It's over? 2603 01:18:01,915 --> 01:18:05,619 No, we're almost contractually allowed to hang out again soon. 2604 01:18:05,619 --> 01:18:08,589 Yeah, but it was supposed to go back to the way 2605 01:18:08,589 --> 01:18:11,224 that things were. 2606 01:18:11,224 --> 01:18:13,093 To be honest, man, I really want to go 2607 01:18:13,093 --> 01:18:14,360 back to the way things were. 2608 01:18:14,360 --> 01:18:17,163 I like how things are now. 2609 01:18:17,163 --> 01:18:18,498 BARRETT: Yeah. 2610 01:18:18,498 --> 01:18:19,265 Same. 2611 01:18:24,170 --> 01:18:25,171 Oh. 2612 01:18:25,171 --> 01:18:26,607 I feel like a big asshole right now. 2613 01:18:26,607 --> 01:18:27,908 ‐No, Adam, come on. ‐No, no. 2614 01:18:27,908 --> 01:18:28,942 Hey, come on. Look. 2615 01:18:28,942 --> 01:18:30,376 That's not the way it is, man. 2616 01:18:30,376 --> 01:18:33,947 I mean, the breakup actually worked for all of us. 2617 01:18:33,947 --> 01:18:35,982 Yeah, for you, man. 2618 01:18:35,982 --> 01:18:37,851 For you. 2619 01:18:37,851 --> 01:18:38,685 I didn't work for me. 2620 01:18:38,685 --> 01:18:39,485 I lost. 2621 01:18:39,485 --> 01:18:41,221 I fucked it all up. 2622 01:18:41,221 --> 01:18:45,191 And I tried to do this shit, and I just fucked it all up. 2623 01:18:45,191 --> 01:18:46,593 Isn't not going to be the way it was. 2624 01:18:46,593 --> 01:18:48,328 We can't just go back. 2625 01:18:48,328 --> 01:18:50,196 Why bother? 2626 01:18:50,196 --> 01:18:51,565 Hey, hey. 2627 01:18:51,565 --> 01:18:52,432 Where are you going? 2628 01:18:52,432 --> 01:18:53,266 ADAM: I don't know. 2629 01:18:53,266 --> 01:18:54,535 I don't know where I'm going. 2630 01:18:54,535 --> 01:18:57,303 But I'm telling you, I fucked it up, and I don't know. 2631 01:18:57,303 --> 01:18:58,805 Okay? 2632 01:18:58,805 --> 01:19:00,440 So you‐‐ you guys, good. 2633 01:19:00,440 --> 01:19:01,642 You're better off without me. 2634 01:19:01,642 --> 01:19:04,044 And I'm going to go be better off without you. 2635 01:19:04,044 --> 01:19:07,047 That's not cool, bro. 2636 01:19:07,047 --> 01:19:08,248 It's not how it is. 2637 01:19:11,151 --> 01:19:14,087 [music playing] 2638 01:21:11,171 --> 01:21:12,372 (QUIETLY) Shit. 2639 01:21:12,372 --> 01:21:13,707 Shit. 2640 01:21:13,707 --> 01:21:16,242 I can't‐‐ I can't find that bag‐‐ that‐‐ that little bag 2641 01:21:16,242 --> 01:21:18,111 had the‐‐ the cufflinks in it. 2642 01:21:18,111 --> 01:21:19,445 I hate that bag, you know what I mean? 2643 01:21:19,445 --> 01:21:20,781 It's the worst bag in the world. 2644 01:21:20,781 --> 01:21:21,715 It's like, I had it. 2645 01:21:21,715 --> 01:21:24,084 I had the bag at the rehearsal. 2646 01:21:24,084 --> 01:21:25,318 I definitely had it at the rehearsal. 2647 01:21:25,318 --> 01:21:27,320 I mean, is it so hard to make a fucking shirt 2648 01:21:27,320 --> 01:21:28,689 with black buttons already on it. 2649 01:21:28,689 --> 01:21:29,556 Relax. I'll go get the bag. 2650 01:21:29,556 --> 01:21:30,691 It's cool. 2651 01:21:30,691 --> 01:21:32,025 Seriously, it's a man's wedding day, you know? 2652 01:21:32,025 --> 01:21:33,760 You would think that the last thing would be on his mind 2653 01:21:33,760 --> 01:21:34,761 are the fucking black buttons. 2654 01:21:34,761 --> 01:21:37,698 David, sit down. 2655 01:21:37,698 --> 01:21:38,999 It's like, I can't wear white buttons. 2656 01:21:38,999 --> 01:21:40,466 Amanda will kill me‐‐ ‐Right, I know. 2657 01:21:40,466 --> 01:21:41,735 ‐‐you know, let alone marry me. 2658 01:21:41,735 --> 01:21:42,736 She might just kill me in front of her whole family. 2659 01:21:42,736 --> 01:21:43,804 I hear you, okay? 2660 01:21:43,804 --> 01:21:45,939 HOWIE: Yeah, we're doing it. [inaudible] 2661 01:21:45,939 --> 01:21:47,040 Jack Daniel's [inaudible]. 2662 01:21:47,040 --> 01:21:47,841 Hey. 2663 01:21:47,841 --> 01:21:49,275 Hey, what up, man? 2664 01:21:49,275 --> 01:21:50,711 [laughter] 2665 01:21:50,711 --> 01:21:53,079 Um, are you‐‐ you're sure you need that bag now? 2666 01:21:53,079 --> 01:21:54,480 Because you look‐‐ I mean, you just look 2667 01:21:54,480 --> 01:21:55,481 great just looking at you now. 2668 01:21:55,481 --> 01:21:57,250 Yeah. 2669 01:21:57,250 --> 01:21:58,184 Yes, I need the b‐‐ why? 2670 01:21:58,184 --> 01:22:00,053 What's going on? 2671 01:22:00,053 --> 01:22:02,923 Um, the guys are out there. 2672 01:22:02,923 --> 01:22:04,591 And it's just weird. 2673 01:22:04,591 --> 01:22:07,160 I‐‐ I haven't talked to them, you know, since the thing or‐‐ 2674 01:22:07,160 --> 01:22:09,329 Adam, it's my wedding day. 2675 01:22:09,329 --> 01:22:10,496 Swallow your pride. 2676 01:22:10,496 --> 01:22:12,332 Make nice‐nice with your fucking friends. 2677 01:22:12,332 --> 01:22:15,368 And get me that fucking bag! 2678 01:22:15,368 --> 01:22:16,870 Just give me the fucking bag! 2679 01:22:16,870 --> 01:22:17,671 You nervous? 2680 01:22:17,671 --> 01:22:18,605 I just want to die. 2681 01:22:18,605 --> 01:22:21,407 Here. 2682 01:22:21,407 --> 01:22:23,209 Here, here. 2683 01:22:23,209 --> 01:22:24,010 Just‐‐ just drink. 2684 01:22:24,010 --> 01:22:27,280 I'm gonna die a virgin. 2685 01:22:27,280 --> 01:22:30,250 [music ‐ pachelbel's canon] 2686 01:22:38,258 --> 01:22:39,726 It's really happening, huh? 2687 01:22:39,726 --> 01:22:42,328 Yeah, it really is. 2688 01:22:42,328 --> 01:22:45,065 No, I‐‐ I don't know if this is the best time to bring this up. 2689 01:22:45,065 --> 01:22:49,069 Uh, I've been meaning to apologize to you. 2690 01:22:49,069 --> 01:22:54,708 Uh, you know, I‐‐ I probably wasn't the best boyfriend. 2691 01:22:54,708 --> 01:22:56,342 Adam, it's fine. 2692 01:22:56,342 --> 01:22:57,544 Honestly. 2693 01:22:57,544 --> 01:22:59,713 Everything worked out the way it was supposed to. 2694 01:22:59,713 --> 01:23:00,647 We're good. 2695 01:23:08,388 --> 01:23:09,322 ‐(WHISPERING) Prick. ‐Hey. 2696 01:23:09,322 --> 01:23:10,156 I know. 2697 01:23:10,156 --> 01:23:11,625 I'm just‐‐ I'm sorry kind of. 2698 01:23:11,625 --> 01:23:14,528 [music playing] 2699 01:23:22,368 --> 01:23:23,436 Whoa, hey. What's up? 2700 01:23:23,436 --> 01:23:24,237 Hey. 2701 01:23:24,237 --> 01:23:25,038 What's up, man? 2702 01:23:25,038 --> 01:23:25,939 How are you, man? 2703 01:23:25,939 --> 01:23:26,873 ‐It's been so long. ‐Oh, man. 2704 01:23:26,873 --> 01:23:27,674 I haven't seen you. 2705 01:23:27,674 --> 01:23:28,675 Yeah, hey. 2706 01:23:28,675 --> 01:23:29,976 Yeah, I heard‐‐ I read on your blog 2707 01:23:29,976 --> 01:23:31,545 that you're writing for Yahoo now? 2708 01:23:31,545 --> 01:23:32,813 Yeah, Yahoo. 2709 01:23:32,813 --> 01:23:34,515 Yeah, well, I mean, you know, I'm a freelance writer. 2710 01:23:34,515 --> 01:23:36,382 But, uh, there's a shot that might bump me up to staff. 2711 01:23:36,382 --> 01:23:37,183 So good to hear. 2712 01:23:37,183 --> 01:23:38,484 How are you doing? 2713 01:23:38,484 --> 01:23:40,186 Uh, good, man. 2714 01:23:40,186 --> 01:23:41,387 Good. 2715 01:23:41,387 --> 01:23:45,358 It's been slightly, like, weird without you guys. 2716 01:23:45,358 --> 01:23:46,392 Wrote a lot of books. 2717 01:23:46,392 --> 01:23:47,393 Uh‐huh. 2718 01:23:47,393 --> 01:23:48,962 Went on a lot of pub crawls on my own. 2719 01:23:48,962 --> 01:23:50,030 No way. 2720 01:23:50,030 --> 01:23:52,298 Got really into Chris Isaak for a while. 2721 01:23:52,298 --> 01:23:54,267 One day, I was just like, oh, let's just see how 2722 01:23:54,267 --> 01:23:55,335 many times I can masturbate. 2723 01:23:55,335 --> 01:23:56,169 No way. 2724 01:23:56,169 --> 01:23:57,804 Can you check and see the guys? 2725 01:23:57,804 --> 01:23:59,806 11. 2726 01:23:59,806 --> 01:24:02,242 Never look at Jennifer Lawrence again. 2727 01:24:02,242 --> 01:24:03,176 Can you‐‐ 2728 01:24:03,176 --> 01:24:04,711 Tried crystal meth. 2729 01:24:04,711 --> 01:24:06,847 Um, it was pretty good. 2730 01:24:06,847 --> 01:24:09,750 Can you see the guys over‐‐ over this way? 2731 01:24:09,750 --> 01:24:10,551 Mm‐hmm. 2732 01:24:10,551 --> 01:24:11,351 Yeah. 2733 01:24:11,351 --> 01:24:12,418 Are they looking over here? 2734 01:24:12,418 --> 01:24:13,219 ‐Yep. ‐They are? 2735 01:24:13,219 --> 01:24:14,420 Yep. 2736 01:24:14,420 --> 01:24:15,756 Can you just do something, like I just made a joke? 2737 01:24:15,756 --> 01:24:16,823 Like laugh. 2738 01:24:16,823 --> 01:24:18,458 Just, like, laugh like crazy right now. 2739 01:24:18,458 --> 01:24:19,993 What, are you trying to make them jealous? 2740 01:24:19,993 --> 01:24:20,794 No. 2741 01:24:20,794 --> 01:24:21,828 Will you just fucking laugh? 2742 01:24:21,828 --> 01:24:23,463 Please do this for me. 2743 01:24:23,463 --> 01:24:24,364 Go. 2744 01:24:24,364 --> 01:24:26,199 [both laughing] 2745 01:24:26,199 --> 01:24:27,300 Right? 2746 01:24:27,300 --> 01:24:28,334 Right? Right? 2747 01:24:28,334 --> 01:24:29,770 No, don't look over there. Look over here. 2748 01:24:29,770 --> 01:24:30,604 Make it about me. Yeah. 2749 01:24:30,604 --> 01:24:32,305 Oh, right? 2750 01:24:32,305 --> 01:24:33,740 Cool man. So, um‐‐ 2751 01:24:33,740 --> 01:24:34,975 ‐[laughing] ‐Okay, hold on. 2752 01:24:34,975 --> 01:24:36,643 Can you just look over here now? Don't look at them. 2753 01:24:36,643 --> 01:24:37,477 Don't look at them, dude. 2754 01:24:37,477 --> 01:24:38,411 Don't look at them. 2755 01:24:38,411 --> 01:24:39,379 [laughing] 2756 01:24:39,379 --> 01:24:40,346 Do I‐‐ I seem comfortable, right? 2757 01:24:40,346 --> 01:24:41,414 Yes. 2758 01:24:41,414 --> 01:24:42,115 Well, don't‐‐ you got to stop laughing. 2759 01:24:42,115 --> 01:24:42,849 Stop laughing. ‐Okay 2760 01:24:42,849 --> 01:24:44,050 Stop fucking laughing. 2761 01:24:44,050 --> 01:24:44,885 Well, hold on one second. 2762 01:24:44,885 --> 01:24:46,252 Don't leave. 2763 01:24:46,252 --> 01:24:48,388 Let me be the one who leaves so it looks more like I‐‐ I'm 2764 01:24:48,388 --> 01:24:51,024 the guy who's, like, deciding when 2765 01:24:51,024 --> 01:24:52,392 the conversation's over, okay? 2766 01:24:55,662 --> 01:24:56,663 ‐Ro. ‐Ro. 2767 01:24:56,663 --> 01:24:57,931 ‐Ro. ‐My man. 2768 01:24:57,931 --> 01:24:58,799 Hey, hey, hey. 2769 01:24:58,799 --> 01:24:59,933 Come over here. ‐Get over here. 2770 01:24:59,933 --> 01:25:00,734 Hey, how's it going? 2771 01:25:00,734 --> 01:25:02,235 I missed you guys. 2772 01:25:02,235 --> 01:25:03,169 Okay, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. 2773 01:25:03,169 --> 01:25:04,237 No, no, no, no. What did he say? 2774 01:25:04,237 --> 01:25:05,071 What did Adam say to you? 2775 01:25:05,071 --> 01:25:06,072 We saw you guys talking. 2776 01:25:06,072 --> 01:25:07,173 What's up? 2777 01:25:07,173 --> 01:25:10,677 Okay, I cannot deal with this anymore! 2778 01:25:10,677 --> 01:25:14,414 I cannot be in the middle anymore! 2779 01:25:14,414 --> 01:25:16,517 You guys are playing a wicked game! 2780 01:25:16,517 --> 01:25:17,450 Whoa. 2781 01:25:17,450 --> 01:25:19,285 I got to find some crystal meth. 2782 01:25:19,285 --> 01:25:20,286 Shit! 2783 01:25:20,286 --> 01:25:24,725 [music playing] 2784 01:26:08,434 --> 01:26:10,203 REED: Adam. 2785 01:26:10,203 --> 01:26:12,539 Hey. 2786 01:26:12,539 --> 01:26:13,339 I'm sorry. 2787 01:26:13,339 --> 01:26:15,275 Um‐‐ 2788 01:26:15,275 --> 01:26:16,610 Call me Uncle Reed. 2789 01:26:16,610 --> 01:26:17,611 I'm a friend of your mother's. 2790 01:26:17,611 --> 01:26:18,779 Oh. 2791 01:26:18,779 --> 01:26:20,146 That's a hell of a wedding going on, isn't it? 2792 01:26:20,146 --> 01:26:21,114 Yeah, it's, uh, good. 2793 01:26:21,114 --> 01:26:22,849 I haven't seen you dancing. 2794 01:26:22,849 --> 01:26:23,817 Yeah, I don't know. 2795 01:26:23,817 --> 01:26:26,753 I'm just not‐‐ not‐‐ dancing tonight. 2796 01:26:26,753 --> 01:26:28,254 [chuckling] 2797 01:26:28,254 --> 01:26:29,355 Oh, yeah. 2798 01:26:29,355 --> 01:26:32,458 I used to be like that‐‐ self‐conscious 2799 01:26:32,458 --> 01:26:34,427 about being another run‐of‐the‐mill 2800 01:26:34,427 --> 01:26:36,196 white guy dancing at a wedding. 2801 01:26:36,196 --> 01:26:38,331 [chuckling] 2802 01:26:38,331 --> 01:26:39,566 Yeah. 2803 01:26:39,566 --> 01:26:40,934 I mean, that's just‐‐ that's not really the issue. 2804 01:26:40,934 --> 01:26:44,070 I just kinda‐‐ not really in the mood, you know? 2805 01:26:44,070 --> 01:26:44,971 I get it. 2806 01:26:44,971 --> 01:26:46,306 I get it‐‐ weddings. 2807 01:26:46,306 --> 01:26:48,542 Weddings‐‐ yeah, you never know how they're gonna hit ya. 2808 01:26:48,542 --> 01:26:53,446 But Davy's‐‐ he's a good kid. 2809 01:26:53,446 --> 01:26:56,617 I don't think you have to worry about losing him. 2810 01:26:56,617 --> 01:26:58,519 Um, yeah. 2811 01:26:58,519 --> 01:27:00,921 I'm actually not worried about that at all. 2812 01:27:00,921 --> 01:27:02,355 Families get bigger. 2813 01:27:02,355 --> 01:27:03,356 Right. 2814 01:27:03,356 --> 01:27:05,792 And Davy‐‐ he's‐‐ he's the same guy. 2815 01:27:05,792 --> 01:27:07,460 Well, he‐‐ nobody really calls him Davy. 2816 01:27:07,460 --> 01:27:08,428 Um, and‐‐ 2817 01:27:08,428 --> 01:27:09,229 Adam. 2818 01:27:09,229 --> 01:27:11,565 What's up? 2819 01:27:11,565 --> 01:27:17,037 The book of life has many, many chapters. 2820 01:27:17,037 --> 01:27:18,071 Right? 2821 01:27:18,071 --> 01:27:20,373 And what once you finish one chapter, 2822 01:27:20,373 --> 01:27:22,008 you don't throw away the book. 2823 01:27:22,008 --> 01:27:22,909 Mm. 2824 01:27:22,909 --> 01:27:24,244 You keep on reading. 2825 01:27:24,244 --> 01:27:26,112 Is this‐‐ are you a‐‐ is this a psychologist thing or‐‐ 2826 01:27:26,112 --> 01:27:28,014 [laughing] 2827 01:27:28,014 --> 01:27:29,449 Oh, my god. 2828 01:27:29,449 --> 01:27:32,018 [laughing] 2829 01:27:32,018 --> 01:27:33,119 Scientology, no. 2830 01:27:33,119 --> 01:27:35,589 Are you‐‐ I'm sorry, but who are you again? 2831 01:27:35,589 --> 01:27:39,092 [stammering] 2832 01:27:39,092 --> 01:27:40,594 I'm a friend of your mom's. 2833 01:27:40,594 --> 01:27:41,361 Okay 2834 01:27:44,297 --> 01:27:46,967 And if you really want to dig down 2835 01:27:46,967 --> 01:27:50,103 a little deeper into the reality of the situation‐‐ 2836 01:27:50,103 --> 01:27:51,304 I don't know. I don't know. 2837 01:27:51,304 --> 01:27:52,272 ‐‐then‐‐ 2838 01:27:52,272 --> 01:27:53,173 PUSSYPOP: Hey, Adam. 2839 01:27:53,173 --> 01:27:54,508 They're about to cut the cake. 2840 01:27:54,508 --> 01:27:55,776 ADAM: Okay, cool. 2841 01:27:55,776 --> 01:27:58,712 I should probably get in there for my brother and all. 2842 01:27:58,712 --> 01:28:01,648 And this‐‐ this is super‐‐ super fucking weird. 2843 01:28:01,648 --> 01:28:02,683 But, um, thank you. 2844 01:28:02,683 --> 01:28:03,817 Thanks, uh, for the talk. 2845 01:28:06,920 --> 01:28:08,288 Super fucking weird? 2846 01:28:08,288 --> 01:28:10,190 What's super fucking weird is I'm super fucking your mom. 2847 01:28:10,190 --> 01:28:11,491 That's what's super fucking weird. 2848 01:28:11,491 --> 01:28:12,826 So listen. 2849 01:28:12,826 --> 01:28:14,360 I know that it's my job to share, uh, embarrassing stories 2850 01:28:14,360 --> 01:28:15,629 here. 2851 01:28:15,629 --> 01:28:17,698 But, uh, David made we promise that I wouldn't come up 2852 01:28:17,698 --> 01:28:21,367 here and talk about how he tried to reinvent himself in college 2853 01:28:21,367 --> 01:28:23,804 as Rave Dave, the one‐man party, and get really good at glow 2854 01:28:23,804 --> 01:28:24,871 sticks. [laughter] 2855 01:28:24,871 --> 01:28:26,406 Anyway, that's well behind them. 2856 01:28:26,406 --> 01:28:28,008 But if we get lucky, maybe he'll pull him out. 2857 01:28:28,008 --> 01:28:28,809 It's not happening. 2858 01:28:28,809 --> 01:28:29,576 [inaudible] 2859 01:28:33,680 --> 01:28:35,148 To David and Amanda, everybody. 2860 01:28:35,148 --> 01:28:38,118 [music playing] 2861 01:28:58,104 --> 01:28:59,139 Hey. 2862 01:28:59,139 --> 01:28:59,940 Hey. 2863 01:28:59,940 --> 01:29:01,341 Are you having a good time? 2864 01:29:01,341 --> 01:29:02,142 Yeah, of course, I am. 2865 01:29:02,142 --> 01:29:02,943 Yeah. 2866 01:29:02,943 --> 01:29:04,044 It's just great. 2867 01:29:04,044 --> 01:29:05,345 This is the best‐‐ I mean, this is the best 2868 01:29:05,345 --> 01:29:06,212 wedding I've ever been to. 2869 01:29:06,212 --> 01:29:07,881 Oh, thanks. 2870 01:29:07,881 --> 01:29:09,783 That's sweet. 2871 01:29:09,783 --> 01:29:12,052 So why do you look so miserable? 2872 01:29:12,052 --> 01:29:13,720 Heh. 2873 01:29:13,720 --> 01:29:15,956 Just go say hi. 2874 01:29:15,956 --> 01:29:18,759 Uh, I‐‐ I can't. 2875 01:29:18,759 --> 01:29:21,728 Adam, I've known you for a long time. 2876 01:29:21,728 --> 01:29:25,131 I know you can. 2877 01:29:25,131 --> 01:29:26,366 You can't say no to me. 2878 01:29:26,366 --> 01:29:27,133 This is my wedding day. 2879 01:29:32,639 --> 01:29:33,640 All right. 2880 01:29:33,640 --> 01:29:34,407 Okay 2881 01:29:36,943 --> 01:29:38,545 [MUSIC ‐ MONTELL JORDAN, "THIS IS HOW WE DO IT"] 2882 01:29:41,748 --> 01:29:42,549 Thank you. 2883 01:29:42,549 --> 01:29:43,316 You're welcome. 2884 01:30:06,406 --> 01:30:08,775 You guys, uh, I'm sorry. 2885 01:30:08,775 --> 01:30:10,176 Ha ha ha! 2886 01:30:10,176 --> 01:30:11,444 Yeah! 2887 01:30:11,444 --> 01:30:13,313 All right, I knew you were going to do that. 2888 01:30:13,313 --> 01:30:15,682 Dude, there is no reason to apologize. 2889 01:30:15,682 --> 01:30:16,482 No, look. 2890 01:30:16,482 --> 01:30:18,451 I‐‐ I‐‐ there is, okay? 2891 01:30:18,451 --> 01:30:19,653 I thought that this was just gonna 2892 01:30:19,653 --> 01:30:21,121 be another one of those stupid things that we do, 2893 01:30:21,121 --> 01:30:22,689 like when we got stoned every day for a month. 2894 01:30:22,689 --> 01:30:24,157 Jewel High, 2010. 2895 01:30:24,157 --> 01:30:24,958 Right. 2896 01:30:24,958 --> 01:30:25,892 That fucking sucked! 2897 01:30:25,892 --> 01:30:27,628 [interposing voices] 2898 01:30:27,628 --> 01:30:30,430 I thought that afterwards that it was all just 2899 01:30:30,430 --> 01:30:31,798 gonna go back to the way things were, 2900 01:30:31,798 --> 01:30:32,933 and that's why I freaked out. 2901 01:30:32,933 --> 01:30:34,801 I‐‐ I didn't think that it would actually work. 2902 01:30:34,801 --> 01:30:37,604 Adam, the whole breakup worked, because we‐‐ 2903 01:30:37,604 --> 01:30:40,607 we gave each other enough space to figure 2904 01:30:40,607 --> 01:30:41,708 out what we really wanted. 2905 01:30:41,708 --> 01:30:44,611 Yes, and now we are even more awesome. 2906 01:30:44,611 --> 01:30:46,747 So what else would you want? 2907 01:30:49,783 --> 01:30:52,352 Honestly? 2908 01:30:52,352 --> 01:30:53,720 Beth. 2909 01:30:53,720 --> 01:30:55,689 I know that she doesn't want to be at the top of my list. 2910 01:30:55,689 --> 01:30:58,725 But she's what's missing. 2911 01:30:58,725 --> 01:31:01,127 Hey, there's these guys. 2912 01:31:01,127 --> 01:31:02,663 Bros before hos, huh? 2913 01:31:02,663 --> 01:31:05,465 [chuckling] 2914 01:31:05,465 --> 01:31:06,399 That was weird. 2915 01:31:06,399 --> 01:31:09,235 All right, just trying to fit in. 2916 01:31:09,235 --> 01:31:10,403 Okay, have fun. 2917 01:31:10,403 --> 01:31:12,038 Hey, dude. 2918 01:31:12,038 --> 01:31:14,340 That list has got to be a lot shorter now, right? 2919 01:31:14,340 --> 01:31:16,042 Yeah, and if that's what's missing, 2920 01:31:16,042 --> 01:31:18,078 let's go fix that shit, brother. 2921 01:31:18,078 --> 01:31:19,345 Yeah, let's get the girl! 2922 01:31:19,345 --> 01:31:20,146 Get the girl. 2923 01:31:20,146 --> 01:31:21,381 Babe, come on. 2924 01:31:21,381 --> 01:31:22,549 We got to get the girl. 2925 01:31:26,052 --> 01:31:27,020 Oh! 2926 01:31:27,020 --> 01:31:28,388 We took the shuttle from the hotel. 2927 01:31:28,388 --> 01:31:29,556 Let's do it. 2928 01:31:29,556 --> 01:31:30,323 Yes! 2929 01:31:34,160 --> 01:31:35,428 ‐The keys are in the ignition. ‐Yes. 2930 01:31:35,428 --> 01:31:36,429 Who's driving? 2931 01:31:36,429 --> 01:31:37,664 I can't drive a bus. 2932 01:31:37,664 --> 01:31:39,633 I would fail every DUI test known to man right now. 2933 01:31:39,633 --> 01:31:41,434 I'm legally forbidden from driving buses. 2934 01:31:41,434 --> 01:31:42,736 You guys know that. 2935 01:31:42,736 --> 01:31:46,206 MARIO LOPEZ: I can drive a bus. 2936 01:31:46,206 --> 01:31:47,908 How cool is this guy? 2937 01:31:47,908 --> 01:31:48,709 [phone ringing] 2938 01:31:48,709 --> 01:31:49,475 One second. 2939 01:31:53,213 --> 01:31:54,047 Hello? 2940 01:31:54,047 --> 01:31:55,248 ADAM: Hey, listen. 2941 01:31:55,248 --> 01:31:56,650 Uh, I‐‐ I promise you that this isn't a booty call. 2942 01:31:56,650 --> 01:31:59,252 I just‐‐ where‐‐ where are you right now? 2943 01:31:59,252 --> 01:32:00,053 Okay 2944 01:32:00,053 --> 01:32:00,854 Uh, listen. 2945 01:32:00,854 --> 01:32:01,755 Stay right there, okay? 2946 01:32:01,755 --> 01:32:02,523 Okay 2947 01:32:05,692 --> 01:32:06,860 Now, do you know what you're going 2948 01:32:06,860 --> 01:32:07,894 to say when you get there? 2949 01:32:07,894 --> 01:32:09,262 Do‐‐ do you need any help or anything? 2950 01:32:09,262 --> 01:32:11,331 Uh, yeah, you know, I think I got it. 2951 01:32:11,331 --> 01:32:12,132 Yeah. 2952 01:32:12,132 --> 01:32:12,966 You sure? 2953 01:32:12,966 --> 01:32:13,767 Yeah. 2954 01:32:13,767 --> 01:32:14,701 Thanks. 2955 01:32:14,701 --> 01:32:15,969 All right. 2956 01:32:15,969 --> 01:32:19,773 Well, I did steal Kelly Kapowski away from Zack Morris, 2957 01:32:19,773 --> 01:32:20,941 you know? 2958 01:32:20,941 --> 01:32:22,242 I'm just saying. 2959 01:32:22,242 --> 01:32:23,109 Yeah. 2960 01:32:23,109 --> 01:32:24,110 I got it. Thanks, though. 2961 01:32:24,110 --> 01:32:25,178 MARIO LOPEZ: You sure? ADAM: Yeah. 2962 01:32:25,178 --> 01:32:26,012 Thanks. MARIO LOPEZ: All right. 2963 01:32:26,012 --> 01:32:26,980 ADAM: Here. Pull off here. 2964 01:32:36,957 --> 01:32:38,058 Listen. 2965 01:32:38,058 --> 01:32:40,426 You got this, Preppy. 2966 01:32:40,426 --> 01:32:44,631 Oh, my‐‐ it's so‐‐ so awesome that you just called me that. 2967 01:32:44,631 --> 01:32:45,532 Thanks, man. 2968 01:32:50,871 --> 01:32:51,872 Yeah. 2969 01:32:51,872 --> 01:32:53,640 I am pretty awesome. 2970 01:32:53,640 --> 01:32:54,575 Beth. 2971 01:32:54,575 --> 01:32:55,341 Beth. 2972 01:32:58,812 --> 01:33:00,814 Look, I know there's a lot to take in right now. 2973 01:33:00,814 --> 01:33:02,649 But this has to happen now, okay? 2974 01:33:02,649 --> 01:33:03,449 Guys, come out here. 2975 01:33:03,449 --> 01:33:04,518 Barrett, Mook, Howie. 2976 01:33:09,623 --> 01:33:10,591 Beth, you already know Mook. 2977 01:33:10,591 --> 01:33:11,825 And this is Howie. 2978 01:33:11,825 --> 01:33:13,660 And that's Barrett over there. 2979 01:33:13,660 --> 01:33:15,896 I need you to know these guys, because, uh, I 2980 01:33:15,896 --> 01:33:17,564 want you to know me. 2981 01:33:17,564 --> 01:33:20,266 We broke up. 2982 01:33:20,266 --> 01:33:22,703 During that time, I had to decide what 2983 01:33:22,703 --> 01:33:25,371 I wanted to do with my life. 2984 01:33:25,371 --> 01:33:26,206 It was really hard. 2985 01:33:26,206 --> 01:33:28,542 But I think I finally did it. 2986 01:33:28,542 --> 01:33:30,043 I mean, I'm‐‐ I'm a writer now. 2987 01:33:30,043 --> 01:33:31,311 Blogger, technically. 2988 01:33:31,311 --> 01:33:32,112 All right, Barrett. 2989 01:33:32,112 --> 01:33:34,214 Okay 2990 01:33:34,214 --> 01:33:35,649 I got my own place. 2991 01:33:35,649 --> 01:33:36,482 In Burbank. 2992 01:33:36,482 --> 01:33:37,250 Mook, it doesn't‐‐ 2993 01:33:41,221 --> 01:33:43,990 The only thing in my life that's missing right now is you. 2994 01:33:43,990 --> 01:33:46,226 Oh, that is so cute, huh? 2995 01:33:46,226 --> 01:33:47,160 [chuckling] 2996 01:33:47,160 --> 01:33:48,228 ADAM: All right. 2997 01:33:48,228 --> 01:33:49,329 I should have kept these guys in the bus. 2998 01:33:49,329 --> 01:33:51,497 Can I come up there? 2999 01:33:51,497 --> 01:33:52,265 Yeah. 3000 01:33:58,471 --> 01:33:59,272 ADAM: Oh. 3001 01:33:59,272 --> 01:34:00,073 Beth, thanks. 3002 01:34:00,073 --> 01:34:01,241 That's, uh, much better. 3003 01:34:03,977 --> 01:34:05,345 Look. 3004 01:34:05,345 --> 01:34:10,016 Uh, Beth, I, um‐‐ I realize now that you needed time too. 3005 01:34:10,016 --> 01:34:12,753 And I didn't respect that. 3006 01:34:12,753 --> 01:34:15,421 And I‐‐ I should've. 3007 01:34:15,421 --> 01:34:20,193 So I'm sorry. 3008 01:34:20,193 --> 01:34:23,263 Thank you. 3009 01:34:23,263 --> 01:34:24,865 You know, I keep thinking about that guy who 3010 01:34:24,865 --> 01:34:27,701 was masturbating in the park. 3011 01:34:27,701 --> 01:34:29,636 And why doesn't that surprise me? 3012 01:34:29,636 --> 01:34:31,104 The truth is, you have a lot in common 3013 01:34:31,104 --> 01:34:34,340 with that filthy exhibitionist. 3014 01:34:34,340 --> 01:34:35,742 Look, you're going to look back on this, 3015 01:34:35,742 --> 01:34:39,445 and you're going to wonder what could've happened. 3016 01:34:39,445 --> 01:34:45,936 What you let go just because the timing wasn't right. 3017 01:34:47,487 --> 01:34:48,789 Beth, I miss you. 3018 01:34:48,789 --> 01:34:50,991 And I just‐‐ I want to go back to the way things were. 3019 01:34:50,991 --> 01:34:52,726 I want‐‐ I want to hang out with you. 3020 01:34:52,726 --> 01:34:53,860 I want to be around you. 3021 01:34:53,860 --> 01:34:58,532 And this way, if you decide one day 3022 01:34:58,532 --> 01:35:00,266 that you want more than you know what, 3023 01:35:00,266 --> 01:35:01,234 I'm going to be right here. 3024 01:35:06,940 --> 01:35:08,241 I don't‐‐ I don't want that. 3025 01:35:21,154 --> 01:35:23,323 I missed you too. 3026 01:35:23,323 --> 01:35:25,325 Are you sure about this? 3027 01:35:25,325 --> 01:35:26,092 No. 3028 01:35:28,662 --> 01:35:30,997 But I'm ready. 3029 01:35:30,997 --> 01:35:31,965 Hey, wait. 3030 01:35:31,965 --> 01:35:33,399 That‐‐ that guy who would, you know, 3031 01:35:33,399 --> 01:35:36,369 dress up in the California Raisins costume and, you know, 3032 01:35:36,369 --> 01:35:41,007 win fishbowl races‐‐ I‐‐ I liked that guy. 3033 01:35:41,007 --> 01:35:43,810 And I liked who I was around that guy. 3034 01:35:43,810 --> 01:35:47,047 He's not completely gone, is he? 3035 01:35:47,047 --> 01:35:48,081 Uh, no. 3036 01:35:48,081 --> 01:35:50,617 I mean, I just stole a bus and crashed 3037 01:35:50,617 --> 01:35:51,718 a party with my friends. 3038 01:35:51,718 --> 01:35:53,086 So I would say it's safe to say that this 3039 01:35:53,086 --> 01:35:53,920 is never gonna be boring. 3040 01:35:53,920 --> 01:35:54,855 [giggles] 3041 01:36:07,433 --> 01:36:08,735 I wonder what they're doing up there. 3042 01:36:13,439 --> 01:36:14,841 You guys are definitely gonna win 3043 01:36:14,841 --> 01:36:16,209 best couples costume tonight. 3044 01:36:16,209 --> 01:36:17,010 Us? 3045 01:36:17,010 --> 01:36:17,811 What are talking about? 3046 01:36:17,811 --> 01:36:18,779 You know who's the shoo‐in? 3047 01:36:18,779 --> 01:36:19,613 Mook and Stephanie. 3048 01:36:19,613 --> 01:36:20,413 Look. 3049 01:36:20,413 --> 01:36:21,715 What? Yeah! 3050 01:36:21,715 --> 01:36:23,316 ‐Hahaha, yeah! ‐All right. 3051 01:36:23,316 --> 01:36:24,585 I don't mind being the fifth wheel 3052 01:36:24,585 --> 01:36:26,186 tonight, 'cause you guys all look amazing. 3053 01:36:26,186 --> 01:36:28,689 But I'm just saying, I'm very happy to be single on Halloween 3054 01:36:28,689 --> 01:36:29,489 night. 3055 01:36:29,489 --> 01:36:31,324 I got the winning costume. 3056 01:36:31,324 --> 01:36:32,425 It's not original, but‐‐ 3057 01:36:32,425 --> 01:36:34,127 Are you going to Lyle's Halloween party? 3058 01:36:34,127 --> 01:36:34,961 Me too. 3059 01:36:34,961 --> 01:36:35,762 Hey, what's up? 3060 01:36:35,762 --> 01:36:36,730 I'm Barrett. 3061 01:36:36,730 --> 01:36:37,664 Hey, Barrett. 3062 01:36:37,664 --> 01:36:40,000 I like what you got going on here. 3063 01:36:40,000 --> 01:36:40,901 Okay Okay 3064 01:36:40,901 --> 01:36:41,968 No, we're good. We're good here. 3065 01:36:41,968 --> 01:36:43,670 We're‐‐ ‐Hey, Elvis. 3066 01:36:43,670 --> 01:36:45,205 Howie's still gonna meet us with us after he's 3067 01:36:45,205 --> 01:36:46,039 done trick‐or‐treating? 3068 01:36:46,039 --> 01:36:47,207 That's the plan, but who knows? 3069 01:36:47,207 --> 01:36:48,008 Nice. 3070 01:36:48,008 --> 01:36:49,910 [horn tooting] 3071 01:36:49,910 --> 01:36:50,911 Howie! 3072 01:36:50,911 --> 01:36:51,878 [laughs] 3073 01:36:51,878 --> 01:36:53,079 Hey! 3074 01:36:53,079 --> 01:36:55,348 We've figured out the best way to trick‐or‐treat! 3075 01:36:55,348 --> 01:36:58,885 Come on board! 3076 01:36:58,885 --> 01:37:00,821 Oh, my god, what is this? 3077 01:37:00,821 --> 01:37:03,023 Only the best invention known to man. 3078 01:37:03,023 --> 01:37:04,157 Get up on that thing, girl! 3079 01:37:04,157 --> 01:37:04,958 STEPHANIE: Woo! 3080 01:37:04,958 --> 01:37:06,159 [both laugh] 3081 01:37:06,159 --> 01:37:07,761 So are you coming with us, or‐‐ 3082 01:37:07,761 --> 01:37:09,796 I'm not letting you out of my sight again. 3083 01:37:09,796 --> 01:37:11,131 Again? 3084 01:37:11,131 --> 01:37:14,034 So I gather this is not your first time on a barcycle. 3085 01:37:14,034 --> 01:37:16,002 No, and it's definitely gonna be my last. 3086 01:37:16,002 --> 01:37:18,171 Better not be. 3087 01:37:18,171 --> 01:37:19,239 All right. 3088 01:37:19,239 --> 01:37:23,109 We got to get one little kid candy pronto. 3089 01:37:23,109 --> 01:37:23,944 So peddle! 3090 01:37:23,944 --> 01:37:25,278 MOOK: Ooh, I want some candy! 3091 01:37:25,278 --> 01:37:26,279 I want candy! 3092 01:37:26,279 --> 01:37:27,313 BARRETT: Well, keep‐‐ get your candy. 3093 01:37:27,313 --> 01:37:28,815 Just keep your pants on, Mook. 3094 01:37:28,815 --> 01:37:30,116 MOOK: No promises! 3095 01:37:30,116 --> 01:37:32,485 ADAM: But actually keep your pants on for real. 3096 01:37:32,485 --> 01:37:33,286 There a kid around. 3097 01:37:33,286 --> 01:37:38,291 [music playing] 195815

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