All language subtitles for Beverly Hills, 90210 (1990) - S04E03 - The Little Fish (480p DVD x265 Panda)_track4_[eng]

♪ ♪

(birds chirping)

Brandon, what did you do
to my room?

Hey.

Hi, Bren.

Where are my things?

What?

How could you do this to me?

Do what?

What's going on here?

That's what I want to know.

W-Wait, how did
you get here?

I walked.

Now, can you please get
your stuff out of my room?

JIM:
Brandon, are
you all right?

Brenda?

Hi.

What are you doing here?

You're supposed
to be in school.

In Minnesota.

I dropped out.

♪ ♪

♪ ♪

♪ ♪

(rock intro plays)

♪ I told that girl ♪

♪ She really looked
just like a movie star ♪

♪ She said the way I looked ♪

♪ Was simply not
quite up to par ♪

♪ I may not be the one ♪

♪ She pictured in her fantasy ♪

♪ But I'm a work of art ♪

♪ I know ♪

♪ My mother loves me ♪

♪ I tried to tell her ♪

♪ She's mine forever ♪

♪ She laughed as she pushed me ♪

♪ There goes my treasure ♪

♪ I said ♪

♪ "I want you" ♪

♪ She said ♪

♪ "Bonehead!" ♪

♪ I said, "I need you" ♪

♪ She said ♪

♪ "Bonehead!" ♪

♪ What's up
with all that dissing? ♪

♪ She don't know just what ♪

♪ She's missing ♪

♪ I'm not a loser ♪

♪ And I'm not ♪

♪ What I appear to be ♪

♪ She stuck that
five-inch high heel right into ♪

♪ My dignity ♪

♪ I tried to show her ♪

♪ Now that I know her ♪

♪ I wouldn't trust her ♪

♪ As far as I could throw her ♪

♪ I said ♪

♪ "I want you"... ♪

Can you believe
this madhouse?

Yeah. The whole day
started crazy.

What happened?
Brenda came home.

What about Minnesota?

Well, you know
as much as I do.
WOMAN: Oh, miss?

I'm sorry,
the communications theory course

you've requested's
already filled up.

But I'm a journalism major.

You're also a freshman.

(sighs)

David, what happened?

I got shut out of
practically every
course I wanted.

You got any advice?

(chuckles):
Yeah, tell them
you're a sophomore.

(sighs)

Brenda's back?
But I talked
to her there.
Mm-hmm.

She said everything
was terrific.

Well, apparently not.

Wow, I got to tell Kelly.

Wait a second, hold on.

When were we told about
a math placement test?

It was in your
freshman orientation packet--

if you read it.

Now, please,

just pick an alternate
geology course

and we're finished.

(chuckles):
Geology. Oh, joy.

(sighs)

Do you have anything
like "rocks for jocks"?

ANDREA:
What do you mean you're not
going out for the newspaper?

I've done the newspaper.

Brandon, The Condor
is a real daily.

They're interviewing today;
we should go there right now.

That's easy for
you, Einstein--
you don't have

to take the math
placement test like
the rest of us.

I'll wait for you.

(laughs):
Really, you
don't have to.

How can you just
blow this off?

We were the best
at The Blaze.

Andrea, in case you
haven't noticed,

the freshmen around
here get the rubber
end of the plunger,

if you know
what I'm saying.

The Condor would just be
a bunch of grunt work.

And besides, I got a lot of
things on my mind right now.
Yeah, like what?

Like, I have a major
housing crisis-- I
don't have a dorm room,

I don't have an apartment,
I don't have anything.

When I agreed to live
at home, Brenda was not
sleeping on my futon.

What's up with her?
I mean, did she really
hate it there?

Your guess is
as good as mine.

All I know is, she
showed up at the foot
of my bed this morning.

Listen, if you want to go be
on The Condor, go for it.

Well, I thought I'd just
give it that old college try.

Good luck, chief.

You will never
believe this.

Now I've got to stand in
this huge fee-payment line.

Mel really messed up--
but after my math test,

we can go straight
to the radio station.

Oh. I don't know.

Donna, if we're serious about
getting on-air positions here,

we have to kick
in some doors.

But I have to call Brenda.

Later.

Hey. What classes
did you get?

I didn't get any.

What were your
backup choices?

There weren't any, Kel.

I couldn't stand in that
line for another second.

So you're not gonna
register at all?

I can't stand this place.
What do you want from me?

It's like a zoo in there.
I'm leaving.

Dylan, you got
to give it a chance.

No, I don't.

I'll call you later.

(sighs)

(phone rings)

Hello.

So it's true,
you really are back.

Yeah.

What happened?

Um...

l-look, let me call
you later, okay?

Okay. Are you all right?

Great. I just can't
talk right now.

Bye.

Bye.

So, where were we?

You were telling us
why you left.

I thought I already did.

No. What you said was,

"It felt all wrong."

We were hoping
for a few specifics.

Honey, just
talk to us.
I mean, it's

very difficult for us to
understand what's going on here.

What's going on is,
I didn't like my classes,

I didn't like the dorm,
I didn't like the people...

I didn't like anything.

Aside from that, Mrs. Lincoln,
how did you enjoy the play?

Brenda, if you'd just told us
there was a problem,

I'm sure we could
have dealt with it.

There was nothing you could do.
I thought that you guys would be

happy to see me-- instead you're
giving me the third degree.

I'm sorry it's such
a problem for you.

Well, it's not just us--
I mean, what about Brandon?

Now with you home going
to California University,

Brandon's talking
about moving out.

Who said anything
about me going to C.U.?

W-Wait a second, what...
what are you saying?

Well, I think
the one thing

that's obvious
from this whole experience

is that I'm not meant
for college.

Brenda, you're
going to college.

Tell her that she's
going to college.

CINDY (sighs):
Honey,

you just panicked.

Mom, you call it panic, I call
it getting in touch with myself.

Look, I knew I made a mistake.
If I had waited another day,

you only would have gotten
75% of my tuition back.

At least this way
you got 90.

My bank account
thanks you.

Brenda, you are going
to school, somewhere.

I don't think so, Dad.

Now, I have to unpack.
Can we talk about this later?

Brenda, you made
a commitment.

Grandma says I shouldn't be
afraid to change my mind.

To me, those
are words to live by.

I love your mother.

BRANDON (quietly):
What are you doing?

Nothing. Shh.

Don't try
to cheat off me.

I'm not trying
to cheat off you.

I'm trying to
cheat off him.

Why?

You know math isn't
my strong suit.

Steve, you're not
being graded on this--

it's a placement test.

Do you understand?

(whispers):
Yeah.

My name is Josh Richland.

I'm the managing editor
of The Condor,

and I've been told

I have a low threshold
for stupidity.

So listen carefully.

The Condor is committed
to professional standards

and professional ethics.

The weak need not apply.

Now, you may think

you're the hottest thing
to walk into this newsroom,

but to me,

all you are, are freshmen,

little fish
in a relatively big pond.

The cards
you are receiving

contain your audition
writing assignments.

Your deadline is
5:00 p.m. tomorrow.

Uh, what if we have
placement tests tomorrow

and can't complete it?

(sighs)

What if a giant cow
fell on your flat head?

Figure it out.

Good-bye, people.

Excuse me, Mr. Richland?

Yeah, what is it?

Uh, I can't do this
particular assignment.

I think that it's a
conflict of interest.

Oh, please. It's just
a test to see what kind
of a writer you are.

You are a writer,
aren't you?

I'd like to think so.

Good. That's good.

It's so simple.
It's so simple.

Bro, I hear you lost
your love shack.

The news travels
fast around here.

Maybe you should consider
a fraternity.

Steve, the return
of Brenda Walsh

is still not enough
to drive me into a frat.

Wait a second, this is
not just any frat, okay?

This is Kappa Epsilon
Gamma House.

The KEG House.

I can make it
happen for you.

Yeah, I know you can,
but I'm not an up-all-night,

drinking beer out of keg,
eating cold pizza for breakfast,

getting hit in the
back of the head with

a cricket bat kind of guy.
Oh, no, you're just some kind
of soft drink sipping,

hockey puck haircut having,
Bart Simpson look alike.

Without a place
to live, though.

Now, when we find the station's
program director,

remember the first impression
may be the only chance we get.

Well, how's my hair look?
It looks fine.

You didn't even look.

Donna, hair doesn't
matter in radio.

Oh, would you look
at this place?

This is so cool.

I am so nervous.

Just relax, let me
do all the talking.

Uh, uh, Mr. Program Director,

uh...

don't touch that dial,
because standing before you

is the number one morning
team from WBH, Beverly Hills.

The double D's.
David and Donna.

The rockin'est jocks with
the most pulsating patter.

Or the most refined commentary
and classical stylings,

if that's what it takes.

Or we just, uh,
won't talk at all.

We'll just play music

and, and shut up.

Uh, uh...

(speaking Russian)

You're looking for the
Financial Aid Department.

Da.

(speaking Russian)

It's right... it's right
around the corner.

(speaking Russian)

Right, right around
the corner... right,
right around there.

Uh, I think the guy that we're
looking for is right there.

Hey, thank you.

You're welcome.

Everybody's just
worried about you.

That's all anybody's
been saying.

Yeah, but I put you all through
my whole Minnesota odyssey

and then I'm barely
there for two weeks.

Hey, we got a great
going-away party out of it.

Yeah.

And you're home now,
and that's what matters.

Well, do you want to come over?

Well, I can't now.
I'm going out.

Where you going?

Uh, to Dylan's.

Say hi for me.

Okay, I will.

Kel...

Oh, here come my roommates.

Well, we did it.

We got a chance
for an on-air gig at KXCU!

Oh, and they're
happy campers.

Howard the program director is
the coolest guy, and he said

if we have an "air check"
tape then he'll listen
to it tomorrow.

Now I didn't even know what
he meant, but David has one.

Yeah, well, I'm
a professional

and all professionals
have air check tapes.

It's basically a reel of all
your best stuff.

Well, Brenda says
congratulations.

Oh, Brenda?
Let me talk to her.
I'll see you later.

I'm gonna go make a sandwich.

David, don't you
mess up the kitchen.

Hi. What happened?

It just didn't work out.

I'll tell you when I see you.

You have to come down
to the beach

and see our apartment.

Which God forbid
should my mom ask--

David does not live at, okay?

Donna, I thought you said, uh,
Kelly and Dylan broke up.

Oh, that.

Well, I guess I was
a little premature.

Listen, you didn't come back
because of Dylan, did you?

Give me a break.

I may get a little dizzy

but my life does not revolve
around Dylan McKay.

I was just checking.

Bye.

KELLY:
I still haven't heard one
answer that makes any sense.

What are you planning on doing
if you don't go to school?

I don't know.
Maybe I'll travel.

Alone?

You can go with me.
Oh, no.

Going off for the
summer, that was one thing,

but the first semester,
that's another.

It doesn't have to be.

Dylan, I got my psych class.

I got art history with Donna.
I got an apartment.

I'm actually excited
about being at C.U.
with my friends.

It's going to be
a great year.

Why can't you just go
along with the program?

The pro... the
program sucks, Kel.

And I'd rather not be having
this discussion right now.

Fine, you know, this is
Europe all over again.

Good-bye.

(door opens and closes)

I'm sorry I screwed up
your housing plans.

Are you still going
to move out?

I don't know.

Well, I hope you don't.

The last thing I want is
for you to be mad at me.

I'm not mad.

Yes, you are.

You're just pretending not to be
because you're so damn decent.

Well, one of us has to be.

Okay, I deserved that.

All right Bren...

What happened?

No. It'll just sound like
some sappy cliche to you.

Try me.

Well, I was homesick

after 24 hours there.

And I started thinking

of September
in California.

Warm Santa Ana winds.

The soft nights.

California dreaming on

such a winter's day?

Something like that.
Remember when people

used to ask us where we were
from and we'd say Minnesota?

I guess we're not from
Minnesota anymore.

Well, you're home.

Now what?

I don't know. I mean, I just
feel so incredibly out of it.

You're not the only one.

I got a sociology classroom

the size
of the Universal Amphitheater.

And I swear, there are

a hundred guys on campus
already who do what I do

as well as I do it.

If I can even remember
what it is that I do.

You can handle it.

I don't think so.
I swear, if I

don't figure out where I fit in
at this school

pretty soon, I might just...

You might what? Just drop out?

Unfortunately, I'm not as
theatrical as you are, Bren.

So looks like we'll be sharing
a bathroom in our parents' house

for the rest of our lives.

Oh, I see you finally
decided to get up.

Mom, it's 8:15
in the morning.

Well, I'm going to
go help out

at the recycling co-op,
so if you want

breakfast, you'll have
to get it yourself.

That's fine,
I'll just swing by

the Peach Pit and get
something to eat there.

Is that what
you're planning on doing

with the rest of your life--

hanging out at the Peach Pit?

What are you so tense about?

Brenda, just because

I let your father do all
the talking yesterday

doesn't mean that I don't
fully agree with him.

You're very bright, but it
can be a pretty cruel world

out there without
a higher education.

Honey, I just don't think
you gave it a chance.

Mom...

Look, you don't have
to say anything.

Just think about it
for a few days.

Relax,

clear your head.

Look, you can always go back
to school next week, right?

Yes, Mom.

Meaning "no"?

Can we just go back
to the part

where I don't have
to say anything?

♪ Your blue eyes tell me... ♪

NAT:
Oh, Nadene...

♪ ♪

There you go, Dylan.

Hey...
Breakfast Special

just as you like it.

Uh, whoa, Nat, I didn't order
any home-fries.

I-I did order wheat toast,

and that's white bread.

I-I have Willie out sick.

And Nadene just
nuked the coffee.

Just push the fries
off of th-the plate

a-and I owe you
some fruit, okay?

What about the toast?

What's wrong with
the white bread?

Builds bodies
12 ways.

Oh, Nat, your coffee's
killing me!

Hey.
Brenda.

How's it going?

Don't ask.

What are you doing here?
Don't ask.

I won't, if you tell your
brother how much I miss him.

Maybe he'll take
pity on me.

Doubt it.

Oh, nice to have you home.

Hey, remember me?

Vaguely, yes.

How are you?

I'm okay.

Aren't you supposed to be
in school or something?

Couldn't I ask you
the same question?

I'm glad you didn't.

I'm sorry you did.

Mind if I join you?

Have a seat.

One condition, no college talk.

Well, that's an easy
promise to make.

Now all we need is
some service.

Well, I'm in no hurry.

♪ And make this kiss
last forever... ♪

Ah, what took you so long?

The bookstore was
packed, sorry, man.

I spoke to the president
of the KEG House.

Stop the bombing, Bro.

Brandon, in case you haven't
noticed, we're sheep here.

There's 8,000 students
trying to make their mark.

Now do you want to get
lost in the shuffle,

or would you like the comfort

of a select brotherhood that
knows the lay of the land?

Brandon, I'm asking you
to come this afternoon

just to see a little
preview of the house.

Why would I want
to be a K.E.G.?

For the same reason
everyone wants to be.

You meet people,
you make connections,

you meet women,
you secure liquor.

You're gonna have to do
a lot better than that, bro.

It's Party, USA.

Everybody knows this.

It's the Playpen of
the Western World.

Steve, I understand
you have a legacy here,

that your father was
part of the frat.

So, if you want it, go for it,
but leave me out of it.

What runway are you on?

This has nothing to do
with me, it has to do with us.

Don't you remember?

Birth to Earth.

Womb to Tomb,
I got it, I got it.

All right, I'll go.

I knew you'd crumble.

Hey, by any chance did
you get a message to
see your counselor?

Nope.

My guy wants to see
me about the math test.

Can't be good.

Eh, don't worry about
it, Steve.

They can't kick you
out of college

for failing a
placement test.

No, but can they kick you
out for cheating on one?

Then right after
the science placement test,

I have to go back
to the fee payment people

and work out
this whole money situation.

David, don't worry,
I'm perfectly capable

of getting the air check
tape to the station.

But it's gotta be
there by 2:00 sharp.

Are you sure you can do it?

Would you please relax?
I will make sure, okay?

Okay.

Now, it's going right
in the glove compartment

for safe-keeping.

So concentrate
and do well on your test.

Thanks.
Mm-hmm.

And remember,
it's only our future.

I'm gonna kill him.

(sighs)

What's wrong?

I just keep hoping
Dylan woke up

on the right side of the bed
and decided not to drop out.

Well, he's probably
sleeping in,

keeping that bed
warm for you.

BRENDA: So there I was in
the middle of the night,

crashing in the
dorm hallway

because my roommate had
decided that her boyfriend

should stay in our room.

And I'm thinking,
"Who needs this?"

Besides, the classes I got
were so incredibly boring.

Yeah, it's all so lame.

Yeah, but every
single time I try

and explain it
to my parents,

they just don't get it.

Same with Kelly.

It's... it's like there's
only one track,

one goal...
one destination.

That's just not true.

Absolutely.
I mean, there are
other choices.

Right.

What are you
gonna do today?

Nothing.
What are you doing?

Nothing.

We could do it together.

♪ ...dream coming true ♪

♪ Each moment I spend ♪

♪ Here with you ♪

(engine revs,
tires screech)

♪ Well, Cupid's arrow ♪

♪ Hit me... ♪

(knocking on door)

Who's there?

Surprise!
Surprise!

Hi! Welcome to
Casa Andrea.

Hello.
Hello.

Hi.
For you.

We found a great little
cafe right on campus.

Oh, thanks.

Croissants? Huh!

Apricot, cheese,
chocolate chip?

You guys, how could you
do this?

Well, 'cause we love you.

And we want you to
get fat and not us.

Thanks.

Wow, this place
is fabulous.

Oh, I know.
I feel so guilty.

All the other freshmen have
rooms the size of my desk.

Well, California University
had to do something

to snatch you
away from Yale.

Where I'm sure they would not
have gotten me a computer.

ANDREA:
Did you see this?

Oh, my God!

They gave you a
laser printer, too.

DONNA: Don't let
my mother

see this place,
or she'll wonder

why I didn't stay in the dorms.

Well, just tell her
they didn't have the
right necessities--

like David.

MAN: Do I smell croissants
from Cafe Delicious?

You certainly do.

Any chance I can buy one?

How about on the house?

Thanks.

Hi, I'm Andrea Zuckerman.

And this is Donna Martin
and Kelly Taylor.

MAN:
Hi.

Dan Rubin.

Uh, so you all live here?

No, actually, I do.

Uh... what about you?

Fellow freshman?

Perpetual grad student.

I'm also the dorm's
resident advisor.

Oh, well, then,
it really is a pleasure

to meet you.
Likewise.

Um... well,
how about an apricot?

I'm a chocolate chip
kind of guy.

Better you than me.

DAN:
Thanks.

Well, I'll see you
around, Andrea.

Have a good day, ladies.

An R.A. with a sweet tooth.

Interesting.

Delicious.

Stop!

KELLY:
Hey, we're gonna go

check out the bookstore;
wanna come?

Oh, I'd love to, but
I have to go and do

this restaurant review
for the newspaper.

Can you believe that
he's a graduate student?

Andrea...

(laughing)

Hm.

♪ Come on, baby, let's rock it
all night long... ♪

It's not the coffee.

It's the cream.

It went sour.

Here, have another cup.

Use these packets...

Ron,

take all the creamers
off the table.

And then go check
the fridge,

okay?
Hey, Nat.

Place looks busy.
Must be the food.

Here I was hoping
for a booth.

I just want to get
through lunch

without the Board of Health
closing me down.

You want your
usual?
No,

today I think
I'm gonna look at a menu.
Oh.

Oh, sir, don't
use that.

♪ Come on, baby, let's rock it
all night long ♪

♪ Turn the jukebox up, they're
playing our favorite song ♪

♪ Take my hand and we'll dance
until the dawn... ♪

If you're gonna order,
better do it now.

I think I'll start with
the lobster bisque

and then...
You don't want
the bisque.

It's milk based
and you'd get food poisoning.

Have the vegetable soup.

Okay.

And then I'll have
the Catalina Salad

with the sirloin tips
rolled in a pita,

with spicy fries
and...

Andrea, you always have
the Megaburger

or the tuna melt.

Why are you getting creative
on me now?

Um, I...

Oy.

(customers gasping)

WOMAN:
Just stay calm.

Well, the ambience is wonderful.

(coughs)

Oh, I told you
not to park here.

What?

Well, I wanted to be near
the radio station.

Besides it was
a good spot.

Oh, that's why it's
"Faculty parking only."

Ew, it's hot in here!

Ouch! Ow, ow!

Turn that,
roll down the window.

Oh, my God...
Okay.

It's hot! Oh!

(sniffing)

What is that smell?

(sniffing)

Oh.

Uh-oh.

It's all right.

It's, it's fine.

I'm sure David has
another copy.

DAVID:
No, I don't have
another copy!

How could you be
so stupid!?
David...

I don't believe this!

I don't believe this
either. I mean...

She ruined the tape
by melting it.

How do you melt a tape?

It wasn't
my fault!

Then whose fault
was it, Donna?

Oh, let me guess,
Bill Clinton, right?

Hey, let's blame it on Bill,

everybody else
does.
Well,

don't you have another
air check tape?
No, Donna, that's it.

That's the only one I had.

Are you sure?

Yes, I'm sure.
You know,

maybe you're not quite
as professional

as you thought
you were.

Let's leave.

DYLAN:
Europe has sort of a timeless
quality to it.

Yeah, I know
what you mean.

When I was there I got
really caught up

in the old world
mystique.

It really sort of
takes you over.

Yeah.

I know I wanted to write
poetry, the great novel.

Did you?

No, I just bummed
around.

But, I got the feeling,
you know,

walking through all
those old villages

that every stone
I stepped on

could have been stepped on
by Rimbaud, or Baudelaire,

'cause they were bums,
too, you know.

They knew you gotta live it
before you can write it.

You're the only
guy I know

who knows who Rimbaud
and Baudelaire are.

Who?

Well, I loved Paris.

And it must be incredible

when you're there with someone
you love.

Ha, I don't know about that.

I knew we were in trouble
on the Left Bank.

Kelly had dragged me

into like the 20th
shoe store of the day

and I just snuck out
to find Balzac's house.

I went to Balzac's house!

How long did it take you
to find it?

I will never tell.

Well, the looking's
the fun part.

There's not much to it
once you get there.

You know, I really
missed you, Dylan.

I missed you, too,
Bren.

I called you in Minnesota
to wish you good luck.

I could have
used it.

Well, this is it.

You wanna keep walking?

What, right off
the pier?

Yeah, maybe.

What's the alternatives?

I'm thinking.

FISHERMAN:
¡Arriba, arriba!
¡Muchachos, aqui!

¡Arriba!

(laughs)

Whoa, look out now.

So, what do
you think?

Go fish?

Yeah.
Yeah.

Donna...

David, it was
an accident.
It could have

happened
to anyone.
Donna, please.

You have no idea
how embarrassing

this is for me.
And for me.

Can I please explain what
happened?
No, not if you're
gonna sit there

and blame me.

Donna,
you're making it worse.

Excuse me, David.
I have the right

to tell my side of the story.

I mean, it wasn't like
I had any idea what
was gonna happen.

It's not like there was a
warning label that says,

"If left in sun,
tape will melt".

I mean, I would never do
that with brie cheese,

because brie has a label.

Donna, we're trying

to get another chance
to audition,

not argue
whether audio tape

has any similarity to brie...

which it doesn't.
Oh, please,

like you're the big cheese
expert.

Oh, you know what,
maybe not even brie.

Maybe like a,
a semi-soft cambert

left on a buffet.

A camembert.
Whatever.

Or a gorgonzola, which
gets really sweaty

when left in
the heat.

Like someone else
that I know.

I mean,
a proper label indicating

a product be stored
in a cool place

is not too much to ask,

is it?

It was an honest
mistake.

It's a total tank.

Listen, don't pay any
attention to her, okay?

I'm sorry, this will never
happen again.

I like you guys.

BRANDON:
"...Therefore it
is very probable

"you'll receive your
food semi-warm.

"In conclusion, despite
its pleasant setting

"and try-to-please style,
food lovers beware.

The Peach Pit is more
of a pit than a peach."

What's the matter
with you?

Brandon, you don't know this
Richland character.

I mean, he eats
freshmen alive.

He's not going to care
that Nat and I are buddies.

Hey, do what you gotta do.

What's wrong with you?
Nothing's wrong
with me.

But maybe now you see why
I didn't want to go
out for the paper.

Oh, wait a minute,
now you're not gonna go

to the Condor office
with me?

Brandon, please,
show some support.

No, I'm not going.

I told Steve that I'd go
on this tour with him

of Kappa Epsilon
Gamma House.

Wait a minute,
you, a K.E.G.?

(laughs)
Believe me,

I don't know what's going
on with me at this school.

Don't worry about it.

None of us know
what's going on.

But the writing
style's okay?

Oh, the writing
style is fine.

I just wish for Nat's sake you
would've written a puff piece

instead of a hatchet job.

Look, Brandon,
I have to approach this

as an objective
journalist, okay?

I mean, it's a matter
of professional integrity,

you understand that.
Andrea, I understand it

and I understand how much you
wanna be on the Condor but...

what about your integrity?

This from a man who's
considering joining

the "Animal House"
on campus.

And we believe that a membership
in K.E.G.

is an outstanding opportunity.

Our goal is to organize our
brothers' social lives

in order to promote
their educational
objectives.

It's an experience
in living together,

sharing maintenance,
self government,

personal relations,

so the entire
community benefits

both socially
and intellectually.

Don't believe a word
of that.

Before we
continue...

why don't I shut up?

You get something to drink,
then we'll go inside.

Dixon, Steve Sanders.

I understand
you're a good athlete,

Sanders.
Oh, thanks.

We should play a little
one-on-one sometime.

Anytime.

We got softball, basketball,

flag football, even hockey.

Hockey?

This guy's a killer.

Really?
Well,

I can play.
Oh, my man's just
being modest,

believe me.
He grew up in
Minnesota.

Whoa, that's practically Canada.

Yeah, well, there's nine months
of winter

and three months
of bad skating.

All right, we'll talk.

All right.

Okay, everyone,
when you follow Tom in,

please note the canisters
underneath the stairs.

If you become
a brother here

you'll become very familiar
with them.

Hmm, is that where the
Kegs keep the kegs?

No, those are
the recycling bins.

Clothing, books,
CD's that aren't wanted

are collected
and appreciated

by the charity
sponsor store

that we have in South Central.

Yes, gentlemen,
K.E.G. really cares.

Hmm, I wonder when
this fraternity

become so politically
correct.

I'm impressed,
Sanders.

All right, bro, I
gotta take off.

I gotta see my counselor
about that math test,

so hang in with
this, okay?
All right,
you got it.

What's up, guys?

(girl laughing)

(girl moaning)

MAN:
Uh-huh.

(laughing and moaning)

Mmm, now that's more like it.

Mmm!

DYLAN:
All right, you little... Hey!

All right. I gotcha.

Okay.

Oh, you slippery
little sucker!

Allow me. I am from "The
Land of 10,000 Lakes."

That's right.

Okay, the trick is

to get the hook
in and around

in one clean motion.

Oh!

Uhh... Bren.

Did I hook you?

Just my sweatshirt.

Don't move.

There you go.

Thanks.

I've seen that look before.

It's the same one you have.

We can't go down
this road again.

Why not?

I think because I don't want

to ruin this feeling
that's between us now.

Yeah. You're right.

We're probably better
off as just friends.

Close friends.

The closest.

Mr. Richland.

If it's about
the freshmen reviews,

the deadline
hasn't changed.

It's 5:00. You still got
a couple of hours to do it.

I've done it.

Good. Drop it in the hopper
and we'll get back to you.

Well, I thought that
I'd come here in person

to tell you that, um...

I won't be handing it in.

Why?

Well, I've thought

about it and I've
come to the conclusion

that I'm not
cut out to be

a little fish.

Look, I know who
you are, Zuckerman.

You did great work
on The Blaze.

We definitely want
you here, so relax.

Well, maybe I don't want it.

I don't think that I have
that, uh, killer instinct

to be a part of The Condor.

Okay.

I hear you,
but let me

give you some advice. If
you're not on the newspaper,

there's not much point

in being a journalism major.

Well, there's always pre-med.

Mr. Sanders...

As freshman counselor,

it's my job to keep you
on the educational path

that your aptitude deserves.

Now... After reviewing

your math placement test,

I'm recommending...

STEVE:
Here it comes. I'm dead meat.

...that you be enrolled in our
advanced astrophysics program.

Astrophysics?

It's a junior
elective

and from it, a number
of our graduates

have gone on directly to NASA.

I just feel badly that
someone as gifted as yourself

had to take the test
in the first place.

Don't. It's... it's no big deal.

Astrophysics, huh?

Along with my other
required math courses?

Oh! No, there's no need
to bore you

with what you already know.

You'll never have to take them

or the sophomore
ones either.

This way you'll be free
for more electives.

Oh, I see.

Yes. Uh... Well, I'm honored,

but I'm just wondering
if this is really

in my best interest.

What do you mean?

Well, Mr. Bardwell,

it's obvious I'm already

so far ahead
of my peers in math,

I was thinking maybe now
is the time to, to develop

my other aptitudes.

Maybe a... a folklore
course or, uh...

history of film.

You see, I've always felt
that it's the whole man

that benefits the most
in the long run.

Don't you?

This is so refreshing, Steve.

Most prodigies are
in such a hurry

to succeed, they don't take
the time to smell the roses.

History of Film would
be an excellent idea.

Hey! Uh, excuse me!

Hi! Uh... aren't
you Brandon Walsh?

Yeah.

I'm Josh Richland.

I'm managing editor
of The Condor.

I was hoping you'd stop by.

Uh, yeah. Listen, man,

I really have no interest

in working
on the paper.
That's good,

'cause I got something else
I wanna talk to you about.

What's that?

How'd you like to run
for Student Senate

as freshman representative
of the Progressive Party?

Progressive Party?

Why me?

Aren't you the Brandon Walsh

who led 600 students
against the school board

and shut down West Beverly High?

Yeah.

Welcome to California
University.

How you doing?

At losing bait, great.

At catching fish, lousy.

You had a nibble, though.

Yeah, well, we shoulda just
have rented some scuba gear,

swam with a huge

school of fish.

Couldn't miss with that.

Reminds me of a joke

my dad used to tell me.
It cracked me up.

No doubt a blonde joke?

No.

What do you call
the dumbest fish in school?

Dinner.

Ha! Get it?

Dinner, school.
Fish, dumb.

I get it.

So, why aren't
you laughing, Bren?

Because that would make us
dumber than the dumbest fish.

Right, a couple of uneducated
mackerel. Hey, Bren?

Flounders without
a college degree.

Ohh.

There you go. Come on.

Hey. It's fighting.

Crank it, Bren.

There you go.
All right!

Whoa. Wooh!

Whoa! Hey!

Would you like it?

No. It's too small.

Needs time to grow.

Yeah, he's right, Bren.
Throw it back.

All right, little fish.
Be lucky you're not dinner.

Now go join your friends.

You done?

Yeah.

It was a great idea.

A great day.

It's too bad we can't spend
our whole lives fishing, though.

Especially not a guy who
reads Baudelaire and Rimbaud.

Or a girl who goes
out of her way

to find Balzac's house.

Let's go.

Yeah.

(phone ringing)

RECORDING:
Hey, this is Dylan.

You know the drill.

Dylan, if you're there, pick up.

I'm sorry I got so mad at you.

You there?

Kell!

Where have
you guys been?

I thought I'd
lost my roommates

and my boyfriend.

We were celebrating.

You're looking at the only
two freshmen DJs on KXCU.

DONNA:
Yeah, we went to explain
to the program director

and he hired us on the spot.

He loved our chemistry.
He loved our hostility.

Well, anyway, we're
working six days a week,

and we'll be on
from 2:00 to 6:00.

That's great! Everybody
will be tuned in.

Well, it's not
that 2:00 to 6:00.

What 2:00 to 6:00?

2:00 to 6:00 a.m.?

Well, it's still radio.

I know, but why did
Howie have to call it
the graveyard shift?

Well, probably because
the only people listening

at that hour are zombies.
DAVID:
Oh, thanks...

David, if you use the
kitchen again, I'm gonna...

Hi.

Having a bubble bath?

I'm glad to see you.

You're not too hard
on the eyes either.

So where've you been?

I left a message for you.

Well, I've been fishing
all day. With Brenda.

It was, uh, it was pretty fun.

Hey, Kel, we're just
friends, remember?

Right.

So you still mad at me?

I'm going back
to campus tomorrow.

You are?

Yeah. I figure with late
registration and everything

I could still get in.

You're gonna love it, Dylan.

Mmm, mmm...

What do you call the
dumbest fish in school?

You!

(giggles)

Brenda!

Come downstairs.

We're in the kitchen, honey.

Brenda has something
to tell you.

Well, it can wait, 'cause
I have something to say.

All right, you don't want
to go to school. So be it.

But you will get a job
and you will pay rent.

At least that'll
help cover

some of Brandon's costs
when he moves out.

CINDY:
Jim.
No, no, no.

Don't get me wrong.

I don't want
Brenda to think

this is some kind
of punishment,

because the fact is, she
has a lot of talent

and if she sticks
with her acting,

maybe she'll make
it big someday

and I can retire
a lot earlier.

Dad, I hate to crimp
your leisure plans

but I'm going back to school
at California University.

BRANDON:
And I'm in no rush

to move out.

Did I miss something here?

Brenda needs to grow before
charging into the cruel world,

and she wants to go to
school with her friends.

I shouldn't be afraid to change
my mind, should I?

God bless your mother.