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1
00:00:02,000 --> 00:00:04,640
His programme contains
mildly offensive language.
2
00:00:22,800 --> 00:00:26,120
HELICOPTER ROTOR BLADES
3
00:00:28,600 --> 00:00:30,600
CRASH
4
00:00:33,240 --> 00:00:37,280
TV: "It really is extraordinary."
5
00:00:37,320 --> 00:00:40,320
"Strange, short emissions,...
6
00:00:40,360 --> 00:00:46,040
..which the patient shouts out,
seemingly involuntarily."
7
00:00:46,080 --> 00:00:48,520
"FARK !"
8
00:00:48,560 --> 00:00:50,040
ARPS !
9
00:00:50,080 --> 00:00:52,120
ARSE !
10
00:00:52,160 --> 00:00:53,360
GRALS !
11
00:00:53,400 --> 00:00:55,400
GIRLS !?
12
00:00:56,880 --> 00:00:59,240
Dougal, there nothing on.
Why don't you read a book ?
13
00:00:59,280 --> 00:01:01,920
All right.
14
00:01:12,360 --> 00:01:15,280
No, Dougal. Read a different book.
15
00:01:16,320 --> 00:01:21,000
Actually, it's been a few minutes.
I'll see if anything good's on now.
16
00:01:21,040 --> 00:01:23,800
You should broaden your mind.
17
00:01:23,840 --> 00:01:24,840
What're ye reading anyway ?
18
00:01:24,880 --> 00:01:29,880
Actually, I'm re-reading it.
William Shatner - "Tek Wars".
19
00:01:31,240 --> 00:01:34,520
TV: # JOLLY STRUMMING GUITAR
20
00:01:34,560 --> 00:01:36,560
Oh, no. This eejit !
21
00:01:37,720 --> 00:01:40,280
"# My lovely Mayo mammy"
22
00:01:40,320 --> 00:01:43,240
# So gentle and so wise
23
00:01:43,280 --> 00:01:45,960
# Rockin' on your rockin' chair
24
00:01:46,000 --> 00:01:48,280
# Baking cakes and pies
25
00:01:48,320 --> 00:01:51,440
# My lovely Mayo mammy
26
00:01:51,480 --> 00:01:55,400
# My lovely, lovely, Mayo mam #
27
00:01:55,440 --> 00:01:57,560
Eek !
28
00:01:57,600 --> 00:02:02,000
It's Eoin !
Oh, Father, isn't he lovely ?
29
00:02:04,160 --> 00:02:06,840
He's a brilliant dancer as well !
30
00:02:10,040 --> 00:02:12,080
Uurrghhh.
31
00:02:18,200 --> 00:02:22,960
It's time to announce
the winner of my poetry competition.
32
00:02:23,000 --> 00:02:23,360
Oh...
33
00:02:23,400 --> 00:02:25,920
You had to write a poem about me.
34
00:02:25,960 --> 00:02:31,320
The prize is that I call round to
the winner's house for a cup of tea.
35
00:02:31,360 --> 00:02:33,960
Can you imagine that ?! Oh, God !
36
00:02:35,400 --> 00:02:38,120
Over I go to my poetry corner.
37
00:02:42,400 --> 00:02:45,680
OK, here it is. This week's winner.
38
00:02:45,720 --> 00:02:50,320
"Eoin McLove is his name,
Singing songs is his game,
39
00:02:50,360 --> 00:02:55,360
Some day I will say 'Hello',
And for a cup of tea we will go."
40
00:02:55,400 --> 00:02:57,200
ALL: Ahh...
41
00:02:57,240 --> 00:03:01,200
And the winner is -
Mrs O'Neil from Kildare.
42
00:03:01,240 --> 00:03:04,960
It says here she's 110 years old.
43
00:03:05,000 --> 00:03:05,920
AUDIENCE: Ooh.
44
00:03:05,960 --> 00:03:11,560
She asks what my favourite things
are. I'd have to say - well, er,...
45
00:03:11,600 --> 00:03:14,400
..jumpers and, er,...
46
00:03:14,440 --> 00:03:15,800
..cakes.
47
00:03:15,840 --> 00:03:16,480
WHINING
48
00:03:16,520 --> 00:03:18,840
Oh, no, what's this ?
49
00:03:20,400 --> 00:03:22,520
A little puppy with a broken paw.
50
00:03:22,560 --> 00:03:24,360
ALL: Ahh.
51
00:03:24,400 --> 00:03:28,920
I'd better nurse it back to health.
Goodbye.
52
00:03:28,960 --> 00:03:30,480
ALL: Bye !
53
00:03:30,520 --> 00:03:31,680
(MOUTHS)
54
00:03:31,720 --> 00:03:34,240
Maybe next time, Mrs Doyle.
55
00:03:34,280 --> 00:03:38,480
One of his songs reminds me
of the time my husband...
56
00:03:42,280 --> 00:03:45,200
I've said too much.
57
00:03:45,240 --> 00:03:50,400
I'll just go and listen to
his latest album. He's brilliant !
58
00:03:53,400 --> 00:03:55,440
Ha, ha. Women.
59
00:03:56,520 --> 00:03:58,520
Where ?
60
00:04:02,440 --> 00:04:05,600
No, I mean,... women !
61
00:04:05,640 --> 00:04:09,040
Oh, right, yeh. Women !
62
00:04:09,080 --> 00:04:09,640
Tcha !
63
00:04:09,680 --> 00:04:11,280
Tcha ! Tcha !
64
00:04:11,320 --> 00:04:13,800
Ye can't live with 'em,
and ye can't live without 'em.
65
00:04:13,840 --> 00:04:17,440
Yeah ! But there aren't any in here.
66
00:04:18,480 --> 00:04:21,560
No, you're fine.
67
00:04:21,600 --> 00:04:24,600
I could write a poem and send it in.
68
00:04:24,640 --> 00:04:28,840
Mrs Doyle's poetry
is bound to be hopeless.
69
00:04:28,880 --> 00:04:30,720
What would you write about ?
70
00:04:30,760 --> 00:04:35,240
Ah, Dougal. Inspiration can come
from so many places.
71
00:04:36,200 --> 00:04:38,680
# SENTIMENTAL TUNE
72
00:05:02,160 --> 00:05:04,640
Aahhh... Aaaarrrhhh !
73
00:05:10,840 --> 00:05:16,520
Father Nolan was in a gas explosion.
It punched a huge hole in him.
74
00:05:16,560 --> 00:05:20,320
They could only identify him
by his dental records.
75
00:05:20,360 --> 00:05:21,120
Poor Father Nolan.
76
00:05:21,160 --> 00:05:23,960
Yes, he's very low at the moment.
77
00:05:29,840 --> 00:05:33,920
EoinMcLoveiscomingtoCraggyIsland !
78
00:05:33,960 --> 00:05:36,120
Calm down, Mrs Doyle. What was that ?
79
00:05:36,160 --> 00:05:39,280
EoinMcLoveiscomingtoCraggyIsland,
he read out my poem !
80
00:05:39,320 --> 00:05:41,280
Your poem ?
81
00:05:41,320 --> 00:05:44,120
Well, I wrote it as a surprise,
but it was my poem.
82
00:05:44,160 --> 00:05:47,120
No, no. It's mine !
83
00:05:47,160 --> 00:05:50,640
I'm sorry, Mrs Doyle,
I don't think so.
84
00:05:50,680 --> 00:05:51,920
What was the first line ?
85
00:05:51,960 --> 00:05:54,600
"Eoin McLove has a happy face."
86
00:05:58,560 --> 00:05:59,440
That's not my poem.
87
00:05:59,480 --> 00:06:02,200
No ! It's mine ! HA-HA-HA-HAA !
88
00:06:06,920 --> 00:06:09,520
I'm hugely confused, Ted.
89
00:06:12,440 --> 00:06:17,960
I can only think that Mrs Doyle's
poem was better than yours.
90
00:06:18,000 --> 00:06:21,240
But that couldn't be, could it ?
91
00:06:21,280 --> 00:06:25,320
That your poem was worse
than Mrs Doyle's ?!
92
00:06:25,360 --> 00:06:28,280
That couldn't happen, could it, Ted?
93
00:06:32,840 --> 00:06:33,880
Could it ?!
94
00:07:08,720 --> 00:07:09,400
When's he coming ?
95
00:07:09,440 --> 00:07:10,320
Aah !
96
00:07:10,360 --> 00:07:11,120
When's he coming ?
97
00:07:11,160 --> 00:07:13,360
I can't. It's a secret.
98
00:07:13,400 --> 00:07:15,480
Thursday.
99
00:07:15,520 --> 00:07:17,840
Friday.
100
00:07:17,880 --> 00:07:19,920
Saturday ?
101
00:07:19,960 --> 00:07:22,000
Sunday ?
102
00:07:22,040 --> 00:07:23,760
Aha !
103
00:07:23,800 --> 00:07:26,960
You won't tell anyone, will ye ?
104
00:07:27,000 --> 00:07:32,560
I swear. May I get every disease
middle-aged women can suffer from.
105
00:07:32,600 --> 00:07:36,160
As you know,
that's a lot of diseases.
106
00:07:38,800 --> 00:07:41,440
(JABBERS)
107
00:07:44,120 --> 00:07:46,200
(JABBERS)
108
00:07:48,200 --> 00:07:50,400
(JABBERS)
109
00:07:50,440 --> 00:07:52,960
PIGEONS COO
110
00:07:55,000 --> 00:07:57,000
(JABBERS)
111
00:08:03,320 --> 00:08:11,480
(JABBERS)
112
00:08:15,560 --> 00:08:17,560
Eek !
113
00:08:18,840 --> 00:08:23,880
I think he's here. The good news is
he's only got a crappy Cortina.
114
00:08:23,920 --> 00:08:25,880
Imagine going around in that thing.
115
00:08:25,920 --> 00:08:28,480
That's my car.
116
00:08:28,520 --> 00:08:32,800
Oh, right.
Still, you know what I mean.
117
00:08:32,840 --> 00:08:35,360
Mrs Doyle ! He's here !
118
00:08:42,680 --> 00:08:45,640
Is this the place ?
What is it ? A mental hospital ?
119
00:08:45,680 --> 00:08:51,080
No, a parochial house. The winner
is the priests' housekeeper.
120
00:08:51,120 --> 00:08:53,160
So, do I have to walk to the door ?
121
00:08:53,200 --> 00:08:54,520
Yes.
122
00:08:54,560 --> 00:08:56,120
I have to walk to the door meself ?!
123
00:08:56,160 --> 00:09:00,160
Yes, you have to walk there yourself
124
00:09:07,360 --> 00:09:12,520
Mr McLove will only allow one
photograph, for advertising purposes
125
00:09:12,560 --> 00:09:17,080
Eoin McLove is not
an equal-opportunities employer.
126
00:09:17,120 --> 00:09:19,920
MOBILE PHONE PLAYS TUNE
127
00:09:22,200 --> 00:09:23,160
Hello ?
128
00:09:23,200 --> 00:09:24,480
Hello ? "Hello. Is Patsy there ?"
129
00:09:24,520 --> 00:09:26,120
Yes, Eoin, this is Patsy.
130
00:09:26,160 --> 00:09:31,160
I'm in the hall now. Will someone
let me in, or will I knock, or what?
131
00:09:33,000 --> 00:09:36,040
Dougal, he's our guest.
Let's do this for Mrs Doyle.
132
00:09:36,080 --> 00:09:38,040
I know, I know.
133
00:09:38,080 --> 00:09:39,960
I'm Eoin McLove - that's who I am.
134
00:09:40,000 --> 00:09:41,640
Hello, Eoin.
135
00:09:41,680 --> 00:09:43,960
I'll leave you alone.
136
00:09:44,000 --> 00:09:45,400
I talk to them ?
137
00:09:45,440 --> 00:09:46,120
I talk to them ? Yes, Eoin.
138
00:09:46,160 --> 00:09:48,600
What if the old one says something
I don't understand ?
139
00:09:48,640 --> 00:09:51,120
Just... I dunno.
140
00:09:51,160 --> 00:09:53,440
The thick-lookin' one looks weird.
141
00:09:53,480 --> 00:09:55,480
Eoin !
142
00:09:57,000 --> 00:09:59,640
I smell wee. Where's that from ?
143
00:10:01,280 --> 00:10:04,640
It's this one here.
This one smells of wee.
144
00:10:04,680 --> 00:10:07,320
(GROWLS)
145
00:10:09,960 --> 00:10:12,360
Best step away there.
146
00:10:13,640 --> 00:10:16,720
So where's the winner,
so I can go home and have me tea ?
147
00:10:16,760 --> 00:10:21,240
You can have it here. Mrs Doyle !
148
00:10:21,280 --> 00:10:23,280
CROCKERY RATTLES
149
00:10:29,360 --> 00:10:31,160
Hello.
150
00:10:35,960 --> 00:10:38,960
Brilliant - she fell on her arse.
151
00:10:41,400 --> 00:10:44,160
# EERIE DISCORDS
152
00:11:12,800 --> 00:11:17,400
..59, 60. Right, that's 20 minutes.
I'm off. Don't try to stop me.
153
00:11:17,400 --> 00:11:20,760
Erm,... Eoin, did you enjoy your tea?
154
00:11:21,560 --> 00:11:24,040
What... I don't know. Whatever.
155
00:11:24,120 --> 00:11:26,400
I want to go now. It's getting dark.
156
00:11:26,400 --> 00:11:31,840
You're afraid of the dark ?! It's
only because the sun goes... It...
157
00:11:32,680 --> 00:11:35,400
It's something to do with clouds.
158
00:11:36,920 --> 00:11:39,360
I want to get out.
How do ye get out ?
159
00:11:39,360 --> 00:11:43,240
Eoin, was there good poem this week ?
160
00:11:43,440 --> 00:11:45,120
What... No.
161
00:11:45,120 --> 00:11:47,120
Are ye sure ?
162
00:11:47,120 --> 00:11:52,320
I remember one from this lunatic.
We had to call the police.
163
00:11:52,560 --> 00:11:54,360
No, that couldn't be it.
164
00:11:54,360 --> 00:11:57,560
Anyway, I'll stop talking to ye now.
165
00:11:57,800 --> 00:11:59,880
Hello ? Is Patsy there ?
166
00:12:05,280 --> 00:12:07,920
You don't need to keep talking to me
on the mobile.
167
00:12:07,920 --> 00:12:11,400
What ? This is a bad line. Patsy ?
168
00:12:12,160 --> 00:12:14,080
Oh, no, not again.
169
00:12:14,080 --> 00:12:16,480
(ALL CALL OUT)
170
00:12:17,720 --> 00:12:21,880
Ladies, go on home, now.
Nothing to see here.
171
00:12:22,680 --> 00:12:24,600
Go away,
ye big pile o' dirty old biddies.
172
00:12:24,600 --> 00:12:26,600
Eoin.
173
00:12:28,360 --> 00:12:33,080
We can't stay around to chat.
I have an important baptism tomorrow.
174
00:12:33,160 --> 00:12:37,360
The baby has a big head,
and may not fit in the font.
175
00:12:37,760 --> 00:12:43,440
It's like a tide of jam coming this
way, but jam made out of old women.
176
00:12:43,840 --> 00:12:46,800
I think we'd better get back inside.
177
00:12:47,000 --> 00:12:51,000
Go away !
I don't want to catch the menopause!
178
00:12:57,000 --> 00:13:00,560
Let me in ! (SCREAMS)
179
00:13:03,320 --> 00:13:05,320
Oh, that was close...
180
00:13:09,360 --> 00:13:10,520
DOUGAL !
181
00:13:10,520 --> 00:13:11,320
Hello.
182
00:13:11,320 --> 00:13:13,640
I don't mean "Hello", I mean - help !
183
00:13:13,640 --> 00:13:15,880
Oh, right.
184
00:13:18,840 --> 00:13:23,040
Aah ! Actually, Dougal, that's my
hand. Try hitting the women's hands.
185
00:13:23,040 --> 00:13:25,040
OK. Sorry, Ted.
186
00:13:36,480 --> 00:13:38,480
TICKS
187
00:13:42,160 --> 00:13:44,160
PILLS RATTLE
188
00:13:49,920 --> 00:13:52,080
Hello ? Hello ! >
189
00:13:52,720 --> 00:13:55,360
The battery's dead.
What about your phone ?
190
00:13:55,360 --> 00:13:57,840
They've cut the lines.
191
00:13:57,840 --> 00:14:01,360
They'll lie in wait like wolves !
192
00:14:04,160 --> 00:14:07,920
The smell of blood
in their nostrils !
193
00:14:08,800 --> 00:14:13,560
Waiting ! Interminably waiting...
194
00:14:15,560 --> 00:14:17,640
And then...
195
00:14:19,240 --> 00:14:21,360
He's right, Ted.
196
00:14:22,720 --> 00:14:24,160
What do they want ?
197
00:14:24,160 --> 00:14:27,760
To mother him.
He can only blame himself.
198
00:14:27,840 --> 00:14:33,120
I mean, with album covers like this,
you're asking for trouble.
199
00:14:34,920 --> 00:14:40,680
I'm no good at judging crowds,
but there's about 17 million of them
200
00:14:47,920 --> 00:14:49,840
I'm hungry. Where's the jam ?
201
00:14:49,840 --> 00:14:53,560
You're not supposed to eat
before dinner.
202
00:14:54,080 --> 00:14:57,080
I'm Eoin McLove. I'll do what I like
203
00:15:06,840 --> 00:15:08,440
I've got a terrible secret.
204
00:15:08,440 --> 00:15:08,920
Do ya ?
205
00:15:08,920 --> 00:15:09,560
Yeh.
206
00:15:09,560 --> 00:15:10,360
Yeh. What is it ?
207
00:15:10,360 --> 00:15:12,440
I'm not telling ye.
208
00:15:15,720 --> 00:15:18,520
Eoin ! Don't eat jam from the jar !
209
00:15:18,880 --> 00:15:22,360
Leave me alone.
I can have you killed.
210
00:15:23,640 --> 00:15:25,640
Get out !
211
00:15:37,080 --> 00:15:39,560
I was just cleanin' the spoon.
212
00:15:42,280 --> 00:15:44,840
TICKS
213
00:15:45,000 --> 00:15:47,000
(SNORES)
214
00:15:51,320 --> 00:15:54,400
I can't stand it.
Why are they so quiet ?
215
00:15:54,400 --> 00:15:56,200
Patsy !
216
00:15:56,200 --> 00:15:58,400
What do you want ?!
217
00:15:59,360 --> 00:16:01,720
SMASH
218
00:16:19,080 --> 00:16:20,840
Aagh !
219
00:16:20,840 --> 00:16:23,440
It's all right, she's one of us.
220
00:16:24,960 --> 00:16:25,560
(MUMBLES)
221
00:16:25,560 --> 00:16:27,720
What ? What ?! Yes, yes...
222
00:16:27,800 --> 00:16:31,120
Mrs Doyle says -
would you like a cake ?
223
00:16:31,600 --> 00:16:32,560
Who ?
224
00:16:32,560 --> 00:16:34,160
Mrs Doyle. This woman here.
225
00:16:34,160 --> 00:16:35,320
Oh, right.
226
00:16:35,320 --> 00:16:37,440
(MUMBLES)
227
00:16:37,520 --> 00:16:40,200
It's banana.
She's says it's your favourite.
228
00:16:40,200 --> 00:16:44,680
God, yeh, I'll eat that.
No-one else is getting any.
229
00:16:48,320 --> 00:16:49,240
What's going on ?
230
00:16:49,240 --> 00:16:51,680
Oh ! (MUMBLES)
231
00:16:52,320 --> 00:16:54,720
What's happening ? I'm scared.
232
00:16:54,720 --> 00:17:00,040
I'm sorry, but, in an unusual move,
she's baked a jumper in the cake.
233
00:17:07,080 --> 00:17:11,600
This is the worst thing
that's ever happened to me !
234
00:17:11,680 --> 00:17:15,680
I'm not wearing a cake jumper !
It's horrible. Yuk !
235
00:17:24,120 --> 00:17:26,160
Oohhh !
236
00:17:26,320 --> 00:17:28,600
I'll eat the cake, though.
237
00:17:30,920 --> 00:17:33,200
TICKS
238
00:17:41,920 --> 00:17:46,920
We need something to lead them
away from him, so he can escape.
239
00:17:47,400 --> 00:17:52,320
Some kind of misleading event,
but... what could it be ?
240
00:17:52,480 --> 00:17:54,480
(SIGHS)
241
00:17:56,640 --> 00:18:01,840
I know ! A diversion ! That's
what it's called - a diversion !
242
00:18:03,280 --> 00:18:08,680
I didn't ask what's it called.
What should the diversion be ?
243
00:18:08,760 --> 00:18:10,760
Come on - ideas, ideas.
244
00:18:10,840 --> 00:18:12,840
< CLATTERING
245
00:18:18,320 --> 00:18:20,880
S... Sh...
246
00:18:24,160 --> 00:18:27,080
DRINK ! FECK ! ARSE ! GIRLS !
247
00:18:31,920 --> 00:18:34,680
Yes, thank you, Father Jack (!)
248
00:18:35,000 --> 00:18:37,920
We need more concrete ideas than that
249
00:18:38,000 --> 00:18:39,960
What do old women like ?
250
00:18:39,960 --> 00:18:42,680
They love a big game of bingo !
251
00:18:42,760 --> 00:18:47,280
Why not lure them
into some kind of bingo game ?!
252
00:18:47,360 --> 00:18:49,760
Right (!) How do we do that ?
253
00:18:49,760 --> 00:18:54,760
We could print some bingo cards
on our printing press and... Oh.
254
00:18:55,960 --> 00:19:00,600
Yes, it's the lack of
a printing press that lets us down.
255
00:19:00,680 --> 00:19:06,560
Or bingo balls, or a microphone,
or, in fact, any bingo paraphernalia.
256
00:19:06,840 --> 00:19:09,400
Damn ! So near and yet so far !
257
00:19:10,480 --> 00:19:13,120
HAMMERING ON WINDOW
258
00:19:19,360 --> 00:19:22,280
NO WAY ! GO ON HOME ! SHOO !
259
00:19:22,520 --> 00:19:27,840
We just wanted to tell ye -
that was a brilliant Mass on Sunday.
260
00:19:28,760 --> 00:19:32,720
Oh,... thank you.
I was very happy with the sermon.
261
00:19:32,720 --> 00:19:35,080
Yes. How did it start again ?
262
00:19:35,280 --> 00:19:39,520
Let's see... "I think it was
the actor Nick Berry who said... "
263
00:19:39,520 --> 00:19:44,240
Sorry, Father,
we can't hear you through the window
264
00:19:44,480 --> 00:19:46,480
Right.
265
00:19:48,600 --> 00:19:51,440
"I think it was the actor Nick Berry
who said...
266
00:19:51,440 --> 00:19:54,400
Oh ! There he is ! He's asleep !
267
00:19:54,840 --> 00:19:56,840
ALL: Ahhh !
268
00:19:57,280 --> 00:19:59,480
Isn't he lovely ? Ahh...
269
00:19:59,840 --> 00:20:01,600
You're not interested in my sermon !
270
00:20:01,600 --> 00:20:03,520
Why is the window open ?!
271
00:20:03,520 --> 00:20:06,760
Can't hold them back ! Get upstairs !
272
00:20:11,000 --> 00:20:13,520
< Eoin ! Eoin !
273
00:20:14,440 --> 00:20:16,360
ALL: Eoin...
274
00:20:16,360 --> 00:20:18,560
BACK ! BACK !
275
00:20:25,840 --> 00:20:28,400
Oh, God. What are we gonna do now ?
276
00:20:28,880 --> 00:20:34,640
(SINISTER MOANING) Eoin... Eoin...
277
00:20:38,920 --> 00:20:43,400
What're we gonna do ?
I'm worried for the little ones.
278
00:20:43,480 --> 00:20:47,200
They have their whole lives
ahead of them.
279
00:20:49,960 --> 00:20:51,960
CRASH
280
00:20:52,320 --> 00:20:54,840
ALL MOAN: Eoin ! Eoin !
281
00:20:56,160 --> 00:20:57,680
Cock-a-doodle-doo !
282
00:20:57,680 --> 00:21:00,600
STOP ! STOP ! LADIES !
283
00:21:01,360 --> 00:21:03,680
It's after seven o'clock.
284
00:21:03,760 --> 00:21:07,320
Your husbands might be wondering
where their breakfasts are.
285
00:21:07,320 --> 00:21:10,360
Yes ! Remember last year, Mrs Dunne ?
286
00:21:10,440 --> 00:21:14,120
Your husband washed up,
and burnt the house down.
287
00:21:14,200 --> 00:21:18,200
And Mr Collins
tried to make the bed on his own,...
288
00:21:18,280 --> 00:21:20,280
..and lost a leg.
289
00:21:20,640 --> 00:21:25,640
Surely you can't let them get through
a day on their own ? Go on home.
290
00:21:28,360 --> 00:21:30,040
Hup, hup !
291
00:21:30,040 --> 00:21:32,120
# EERIE DISCORDS
292
00:21:34,880 --> 00:21:37,400
< (GASPS)
293
00:21:37,760 --> 00:21:39,800
Can I have this duck ?
294
00:21:46,040 --> 00:21:47,480
Right, we're off.
295
00:21:47,480 --> 00:21:49,720
Did you have those suitcases before ?
296
00:21:49,720 --> 00:21:54,840
No. I liked a lot of stuff here
so I thought I'd take it off with me
297
00:21:54,920 --> 00:21:57,200
Ohh, that's very cheeky.
298
00:21:58,440 --> 00:22:01,280
Well, I'm taking everything,
and that's that.
299
00:22:01,280 --> 00:22:06,080
Sorry he's been so much trouble.
(It must be to do with his problem.)
300
00:22:06,160 --> 00:22:08,960
You mentioned that earlier.
What is his problem ?
301
00:22:08,960 --> 00:22:11,360
I have no willy.
302
00:22:13,160 --> 00:22:18,800
Right. Don't you have
something to say to Mrs Doyle ?
303
00:22:19,480 --> 00:22:22,800
Oh, er,...
thanks for the cake jumper.
304
00:22:25,840 --> 00:22:27,840
THUD
305
00:22:28,360 --> 00:22:31,000
There's bloody cake bits everywhere!
306
00:22:31,000 --> 00:22:34,600
Would you like to come
to the next show ?
307
00:22:34,680 --> 00:22:37,800
Father McGuire said you're always
trying to get on television.
308
00:22:37,800 --> 00:22:40,720
(CHUCKLES) No, that's not true.
309
00:22:41,120 --> 00:22:44,520
It is true. You do want to get on TV
310
00:22:44,600 --> 00:22:47,240
You told me
it's your number-one ambition.
311
00:22:47,240 --> 00:22:52,400
Did I ? Ha, ha... I might've
said that. Joking, probably.
312
00:22:52,480 --> 00:22:54,600
I actually couldn't be bothered.
313
00:22:54,600 --> 00:23:00,400
We get an audience member to take
part in a quiz. There's a cash prize
314
00:23:00,400 --> 00:23:02,280
I'll do it.
315
00:23:02,640 --> 00:23:07,160
You've got four out of five
on your specialist subject -
316
00:23:07,240 --> 00:23:09,960
..William Shatner's "Tek Wars".
317
00:23:14,320 --> 00:23:16,320
AUDIENCE: Ooh.
318
00:23:16,400 --> 00:23:19,280
Oh, people will think this is rigged
319
00:23:19,360 --> 00:23:24,600
John Paul II: what was his name
before he became Pope ?
320
00:23:55,920 --> 00:23:58,920
Intelfax Subtitles TIM BAYLISS
321
00:24:01,760 --> 00:24:03,160
Jim ?
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