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1
00:00:01,436 --> 00:00:05,143
The cicadas buzzed as Mama
Tess scrubbed my shoulders.
2
00:00:05,143 --> 00:00:08,150
I watched the dirty water
run over cuts and scrapes
3
00:00:08,283 --> 00:00:10,655
on my weary ebony skin.
4
00:00:10,655 --> 00:00:12,859
I thought of the scars
on Mama Tess's back-"
5
00:00:12,859 --> 00:00:14,162
Okay, David.
6
00:00:14,162 --> 00:00:15,598
Why don't we stop there?
7
00:00:15,598 --> 00:00:16,900
What? I just started.
8
00:00:16,900 --> 00:00:18,170
I know I just...
9
00:00:18,170 --> 00:00:21,543
I'm not sure
it's appropriate for you
10
00:00:21,543 --> 00:00:24,783
to be writing in the voice
of a young slave girl.
11
00:00:24,783 --> 00:00:26,285
But I did a ton of research.
12
00:00:26,285 --> 00:00:27,923
I've been working
on this for months.
13
00:00:27,923 --> 00:00:28,858
I'm sorry,
14
00:00:28,858 --> 00:00:31,162
I just don't think this
is your story to tell.
15
00:00:31,296 --> 00:00:33,300
I mean...I wouldn't
play her in the movie.
16
00:00:33,300 --> 00:00:35,270
Alright, why don't we
stop here for the day?
17
00:00:35,270 --> 00:00:36,574
Oh, and some exciting news,
18
00:00:36,574 --> 00:00:39,144
Yael Golding will be
attending next week's reading.
19
00:00:39,144 --> 00:00:40,313
Yael Golding!?
20
00:00:40,313 --> 00:00:42,018
She's like my favorite
living author!
21
00:00:42,018 --> 00:00:43,319
And now I've got nothing!
22
00:00:43,319 --> 00:00:45,023
Oh, Robert Louis Stevenson wrote
23
00:00:45,190 --> 00:00:47,028
Jekyll and Hyde in three days.
24
00:00:47,028 --> 00:00:49,032
I'm sure you'll come
up with something.
25
00:00:49,032 --> 00:00:49,900
Ugh.
26
00:00:50,200 --> 00:00:53,707
[construction sounds]
27
00:00:53,774 --> 00:00:54,776
Gah!
28
00:00:55,578 --> 00:00:59,085
Yo, looks like they're
finally replacing the uh...
29
00:00:59,085 --> 00:01:01,089
the infrastructure pipes.
30
00:01:01,089 --> 00:01:02,024
-You excited?
-No.
31
00:01:02,258 --> 00:01:04,461
I've got three days to write
a masterpiece from scratch
32
00:01:04,461 --> 00:01:06,533
but it's impossible
with all this racket!
33
00:01:06,533 --> 00:01:07,201
You know David,
34
00:01:07,201 --> 00:01:07,936
if you're looking for a
35
00:01:08,036 --> 00:01:08,738
nice quiet place to work,
36
00:01:09,105 --> 00:01:11,677
my Uncle Kenny's actually
got a nice little cabin
37
00:01:11,677 --> 00:01:12,612
up in the Poconos.
38
00:01:12,813 --> 00:01:14,315
You're totally welcome to
go up there for the weekend.
39
00:01:14,315 --> 00:01:16,821
Oh, thanks, but I just
wouldn't want to,
40
00:01:16,821 --> 00:01:18,356
you know, impose
on your Uncle...
41
00:01:18,356 --> 00:01:20,695
Nah it's all good don't
worry about it he's dead.
42
00:01:20,695 --> 00:01:21,863
Ah. I'm s-- what?
43
00:01:21,863 --> 00:01:24,068
I'm telling you you're
gonna love this place dude.
44
00:01:24,068 --> 00:01:25,370
It's nice and secluded,
45
00:01:25,370 --> 00:01:27,709
you got the pine
trees everywhere,
46
00:01:27,709 --> 00:01:29,244
you got the rustic charm....
47
00:01:29,244 --> 00:01:31,116
And it's not like some Hoagies
48
00:01:31,116 --> 00:01:32,819
"Deliverance"
type thing up there?
49
00:01:32,819 --> 00:01:34,121
Nah, nah, nah my inbred cousins,
50
00:01:34,121 --> 00:01:35,692
they live in the Pine Barrens.
51
00:01:35,692 --> 00:01:36,594
Ah.
52
00:01:36,828 --> 00:01:39,833
[adventure music]
53
00:01:45,979 --> 00:01:47,414
Ugh.
54
00:01:55,732 --> 00:01:58,604
Hm...not too shabby, Mark...
55
00:01:59,405 --> 00:02:01,544
Alright. Here we go...
just let it flow.
56
00:02:01,777 --> 00:02:04,983
[Tammy and Mark outside]
Oh this place is cute, Mark!
57
00:02:04,983 --> 00:02:06,285
What with the logs and all,
58
00:02:06,285 --> 00:02:08,489
-I love it.
-I know! It's classic, right?
59
00:02:09,559 --> 00:02:10,861
You've gotta be kidding me...
60
00:02:10,995 --> 00:02:12,164
[♪♪♪♪♪]
61
00:02:12,431 --> 00:02:14,970
♪ Well, I used to work
at a hot dog factory. ♪
62
00:02:14,970 --> 00:02:17,007
♪ Until them
robots came along. ♪
63
00:02:17,141 --> 00:02:18,510
♪ And now
there is no job for me ♪
64
00:02:18,644 --> 00:02:21,149
♪ But I get 3,000
bucks a month ♪
65
00:02:21,149 --> 00:02:25,257
♪ Thanks to UBI
66
00:02:25,390 --> 00:02:29,265
♪ Now we're
Universal Basic Guys. ♪
67
00:02:29,265 --> 00:02:31,135
♪ It may not
sound like much. ♪
68
00:02:31,135 --> 00:02:34,275
♪ But we're
still gonna try ♪
69
00:02:34,275 --> 00:02:39,351
♪ We're just
Universal Basic Guys ♪
70
00:02:43,961 --> 00:02:47,034
Yo that spot right there is
where the gerbil exploded!
71
00:02:47,034 --> 00:02:47,702
- Oh...
72
00:02:47,869 --> 00:02:49,573
Oh man we got so
many memories here.
73
00:02:49,573 --> 00:02:52,011
I can't wait for you guys to
experience all the traditions.
74
00:02:52,011 --> 00:02:53,981
Ooh maybe we can
go snowshoeing...
75
00:02:53,981 --> 00:02:56,653
Okay well hold on there's like
a whole itinerary here Tam.
76
00:02:56,653 --> 00:02:58,056
Yo Jinglebells!
77
00:02:58,056 --> 00:02:59,058
You finish your book?
78
00:02:59,058 --> 00:03:00,193
I've been here thirty minutes...
79
00:03:00,327 --> 00:03:01,898
I didn't realize you
were also gonna be here.
80
00:03:01,898 --> 00:03:03,433
Ah you know it baby!
81
00:03:03,433 --> 00:03:07,074
So you excited for the classic
Mark Hoagies Poconos Weekend?
82
00:03:07,074 --> 00:03:09,078
What? No. I came here to write.
83
00:03:09,078 --> 00:03:09,880
Exactly.
84
00:03:09,980 --> 00:03:11,817
We're gonna give you
a ton of material.
85
00:03:11,817 --> 00:03:13,186
We're a buncha goofballs.
86
00:03:13,186 --> 00:03:14,889
-Yeah that's not what I-
-Ah don't worry, David.
87
00:03:14,889 --> 00:03:16,827
We'll be out of your
hair and on the slopes.
88
00:03:16,827 --> 00:03:17,629
Ah okay,
89
00:03:17,829 --> 00:03:19,198
so you're gonna be
skiing the whole weekend?
90
00:03:19,198 --> 00:03:20,333
I'll be skiing.
91
00:03:20,333 --> 00:03:22,037
Mark and Hank are
going sledding.
92
00:03:22,037 --> 00:03:23,841
Uh, snow tubing!
Totally different.
93
00:03:23,841 --> 00:03:26,680
Come on. Snow tubing is just
for people who can't ski.
94
00:03:26,680 --> 00:03:27,348
Woah woah woah.
95
00:03:27,348 --> 00:03:28,918
I know how to ski, okay.
96
00:03:28,918 --> 00:03:29,853
I just prefer snow tubing.
97
00:03:30,187 --> 00:03:32,592
Mark gets a little insecure that
his wife does black diamonds
98
00:03:32,592 --> 00:03:33,928
while he's on the bunny slopes.
99
00:03:34,061 --> 00:03:35,063
Aw that's ridiculous.
100
00:03:35,230 --> 00:03:37,802
Snow tubing is a Hoagies
Poconos tradition!
101
00:03:37,802 --> 00:03:38,469
Okay great.
102
00:03:38,671 --> 00:03:40,373
Well Darren and I
are going skiing,
103
00:03:40,373 --> 00:03:41,744
maybe get some hot chocolate...
104
00:03:41,744 --> 00:03:44,114
Mom, I said I don't
want to go skiing.
105
00:03:44,114 --> 00:03:46,252
Hell yeah. Team
tubing. Let's go Dar!
106
00:03:46,252 --> 00:03:48,356
Uh...no I'm not tubing either.
107
00:03:48,356 --> 00:03:50,227
Oh come on Darren.
What kid doesn't want to go
108
00:03:50,227 --> 00:03:51,362
super fast down a mountain
109
00:03:51,362 --> 00:03:52,164
in an inner tube?
110
00:03:52,164 --> 00:03:54,001
Do you like consciously
make an effort
111
00:03:54,001 --> 00:03:55,839
to not know anything about me?
112
00:03:55,839 --> 00:03:57,274
- Please go Darren.
113
00:03:57,776 --> 00:03:58,511
[loud game]
114
00:03:58,745 --> 00:04:00,346
Oooh you're an ugly one.
You're an ugly one.
115
00:04:00,346 --> 00:04:02,217
Come and get it.
Ooh, eat it!
116
00:04:02,217 --> 00:04:04,657
Yeah you like that!?
Bee-yotch!
117
00:04:04,757 --> 00:04:07,227
Fricken skiing elitist
Tammy wants to belittle
118
00:04:07,394 --> 00:04:09,766
a time-honored Hoagies
tradition like snow tubing?
119
00:04:09,766 --> 00:04:13,106
Pfft, wait until we tell her
we did a double black diamond.
120
00:04:13,106 --> 00:04:14,843
Uh...you sure about this Mark?
121
00:04:14,843 --> 00:04:15,545
Uh yes, Hank.
122
00:04:15,645 --> 00:04:17,414
If anything this
is probably safer.
123
00:04:17,414 --> 00:04:18,316
I mean you're in
an inflated tube.
124
00:04:18,517 --> 00:04:20,855
You're basically riding an
airbag down the mountain.
125
00:04:20,855 --> 00:04:21,723
Excuse me?
126
00:04:21,723 --> 00:04:22,424
- What's up chief?
127
00:04:22,525 --> 00:04:24,529
No inner tubes
on the ski slopes.
128
00:04:24,529 --> 00:04:26,032
Okay well that's discrimination.
129
00:04:26,032 --> 00:04:27,668
How is that discrimination?
130
00:04:27,668 --> 00:04:29,639
The mountain is for everyone,
131
00:04:29,806 --> 00:04:32,244
it shouldn't matter what
equipment we choose to love,
132
00:04:32,244 --> 00:04:34,148
we all share the same gravity.
133
00:04:34,148 --> 00:04:34,516
- Enough.
134
00:04:34,983 --> 00:04:36,920
If we hit a tree,
do we not bleed?
135
00:04:36,920 --> 00:04:39,125
Can I get security to
the top of Pine Run?
136
00:04:39,125 --> 00:04:40,460
Hank! Go go go go go!!!
137
00:04:42,031 --> 00:04:44,135
Here we go duuuuuude.
138
00:04:44,135 --> 00:04:45,572
Cancel that.
Can I get the coroner
139
00:04:45,572 --> 00:04:47,440
to the bottom of Pine Run?
140
00:04:47,440 --> 00:04:49,444
[relaxing music]
141
00:04:49,444 --> 00:04:51,015
[sigh]
Mmm.
142
00:04:53,821 --> 00:04:54,589
[crash!]
143
00:04:54,589 --> 00:04:57,027
Oh my god! The hell!?
144
00:04:57,662 --> 00:04:58,396
Nailed it.
145
00:04:58,730 --> 00:04:59,532
[loud game]
146
00:04:59,900 --> 00:05:00,568
Yes?
147
00:05:00,835 --> 00:05:02,873
Uh, would you mind
putting headphones on?
148
00:05:02,873 --> 00:05:03,541
Why?
149
00:05:03,875 --> 00:05:04,910
Well, it's a little
hard to write with you
150
00:05:05,010 --> 00:05:08,183
blasting this active shooter
game or whatever this is.
151
00:05:08,183 --> 00:05:09,418
It's a zombie game, David.
152
00:05:09,418 --> 00:05:12,057
Well can't you play
Sudoku or something?
153
00:05:14,061 --> 00:05:15,063
Thank you.
154
00:05:16,132 --> 00:05:17,067
[sigh]
155
00:05:17,067 --> 00:05:17,602
[voices downstairs]
No Tammy!
156
00:05:18,169 --> 00:05:19,606
[voices downstairs]]
What it is, is discrimination.
157
00:05:19,606 --> 00:05:21,442
We should be filing a
lawsuit against them!
158
00:05:21,442 --> 00:05:23,179
No! Come onnnn.
159
00:05:23,479 --> 00:05:25,818
Stupid idea to come
here, so stupid.
160
00:05:25,818 --> 00:05:26,485
Hey, there David.
161
00:05:26,653 --> 00:05:28,190
You wanna play
some games with us?
162
00:05:28,190 --> 00:05:28,624
No.
163
00:05:28,858 --> 00:05:30,193
What happened to ski tubing?
164
00:05:30,360 --> 00:05:30,995
Oh,
165
00:05:31,329 --> 00:05:33,634
Shaun White Hoagies over
there got us banned.
166
00:05:33,634 --> 00:05:36,171
Well maybe there's another
mountain that's like...
167
00:05:36,171 --> 00:05:37,340
open all night.
168
00:05:37,340 --> 00:05:39,211
Nah. Storm's already started.
169
00:05:39,211 --> 00:05:40,681
Wait... storm!?
170
00:05:41,917 --> 00:05:43,787
Oh no.
171
00:05:43,787 --> 00:05:46,091
No! Ughhhh.
172
00:05:46,794 --> 00:05:47,729
Okay,
173
00:05:47,729 --> 00:05:50,234
let the Board Game
Olympics begin!
174
00:05:50,334 --> 00:05:51,670
Hank, hit it.
175
00:05:51,804 --> 00:05:53,339
[loud air horn]
176
00:05:53,607 --> 00:05:54,910
Do I have to do this?
177
00:05:54,910 --> 00:05:55,845
Darren you know, I was
really hoping to make
178
00:05:56,179 --> 00:05:59,351
one of those viral videos where
the stepdad surprises the kid
179
00:05:59,351 --> 00:06:01,021
with adoption papers but first
180
00:06:01,021 --> 00:06:03,360
I'm gonna need you to at least
try and make an effort here.
181
00:06:03,360 --> 00:06:04,227
I'm going upstairs.
182
00:06:04,227 --> 00:06:05,363
Oh c'mon, Dar.
183
00:06:05,363 --> 00:06:06,667
Why don't we play
something together.
184
00:06:06,667 --> 00:06:07,468
I don't want to play
with you guys.
185
00:06:07,535 --> 00:06:09,506
You just end up
arguing the whole time.
186
00:06:09,506 --> 00:06:12,077
Oh that's not true.
We're having fun!
187
00:06:12,077 --> 00:06:12,645
Right, Mark?
188
00:06:13,079 --> 00:06:15,383
100%. In fact,
it's time for our first event:
189
00:06:15,383 --> 00:06:17,254
Extreme Ball Blasters.
190
00:06:17,254 --> 00:06:19,191
That's not a board game.
That's a toy.
191
00:06:19,191 --> 00:06:21,062
What are you talking about!?
It's a game and there's a board.
192
00:06:21,062 --> 00:06:23,199
You just shoot metal
balls at each other! -See?
193
00:06:23,199 --> 00:06:26,405
Alright alright fine, okay.
We'll skip to the second event:
194
00:06:26,405 --> 00:06:27,273
Wienerland.
195
00:06:27,273 --> 00:06:28,075
Oh hell yeah.
196
00:06:28,075 --> 00:06:30,179
Oh come on.
That game is all luck.
197
00:06:30,179 --> 00:06:32,518
Ooh that's not true, Tam.
You gotta know all the colors.
198
00:06:32,518 --> 00:06:34,656
Why can't we just play
a mature board game,
199
00:06:34,656 --> 00:06:35,824
like Scrabble here?
200
00:06:35,991 --> 00:06:37,962
Tam nobody here plays that.
That's like decoration.
201
00:06:37,962 --> 00:06:39,532
Yeah right.
You're just saying that
202
00:06:39,532 --> 00:06:41,637
'cause I'm gonna
mop the floor with yous.
203
00:06:41,704 --> 00:06:42,939
Where's all the letter tiles?
204
00:06:42,939 --> 00:06:45,243
Oh Hank flushed them down
the toilet years ago.
205
00:06:45,243 --> 00:06:46,914
Why on Earth would
you do that Hank?
206
00:06:46,914 --> 00:06:49,753
Oh I was trying to send a
message to the Ninja Turtles.
207
00:06:49,753 --> 00:06:50,688
Uh huh...
208
00:06:50,922 --> 00:06:53,426
Well there's gotta be some
good board games somewhere.
209
00:06:53,426 --> 00:06:54,563
I'm gonna check the cellar.
210
00:06:54,563 --> 00:06:56,132
I wouldn't do that, Tam.
211
00:06:56,132 --> 00:06:57,301
What do you mean? Why not?
212
00:06:57,301 --> 00:06:58,570
It's just...you know...we...
213
00:06:58,570 --> 00:07:00,007
we don't really
go in the cellar.
214
00:07:00,007 --> 00:07:00,675
It's kind of a house rule.
215
00:07:00,875 --> 00:07:02,679
Since when do you
care about rules?
216
00:07:02,679 --> 00:07:04,549
Well there's just
certain important rules
217
00:07:04,549 --> 00:07:06,687
that we respect and one
of them is, you know:
218
00:07:06,687 --> 00:07:08,322
we do “not ” go in
the creepy cellar.
219
00:07:08,322 --> 00:07:09,559
Are you scared of the cellar?
220
00:07:09,559 --> 00:07:10,995
Oh get outta here.
That's ridiculous.
221
00:07:10,995 --> 00:07:13,066
-Afraid of the cellar--
-Oh my god. You are.
222
00:07:13,199 --> 00:07:14,435
You so are.
223
00:07:14,435 --> 00:07:15,871
Well I'm going down there.
224
00:07:16,172 --> 00:07:17,608
[door creaks]
225
00:07:17,909 --> 00:07:20,914
[scary music]
226
00:07:28,597 --> 00:07:30,300
"Witch Trials."
227
00:07:30,300 --> 00:07:31,803
Oooh. Baby.
228
00:07:32,471 --> 00:07:34,174
Look what I found. Hehehe.
229
00:07:34,174 --> 00:07:35,811
Absolutely not.
230
00:07:35,811 --> 00:07:36,479
Hard no!
231
00:07:36,479 --> 00:07:38,049
Ooh that's the forbidden game.
232
00:07:38,049 --> 00:07:39,351
- The forbidden game?
233
00:07:39,351 --> 00:07:40,854
Uncle Kenny was very clear:
234
00:07:40,854 --> 00:07:41,990
we're not allowed to play that.
235
00:07:41,990 --> 00:07:43,727
You do realize
you're adults now.
236
00:07:43,727 --> 00:07:45,598
Okay I gotta be honest, Tam.
237
00:07:45,598 --> 00:07:47,367
You're really throwing
off the vibes here.
238
00:07:47,367 --> 00:07:48,469
I'm trying to show
you and Darren
239
00:07:48,469 --> 00:07:49,840
my most cherished
family traditions
240
00:07:49,840 --> 00:07:51,142
and you're just
fully going rogue.
241
00:07:51,142 --> 00:07:53,714
Mark, not everyone has
fun the same way you do.
242
00:07:53,714 --> 00:07:55,918
God forbid we do
something I wanna do.
243
00:07:57,956 --> 00:07:58,590
Oh boy. Here we go.
244
00:07:58,757 --> 00:08:00,093
Uh, what's goin on?
245
00:08:00,093 --> 00:08:01,963
What the hell?
246
00:08:02,799 --> 00:08:03,667
Woah.
247
00:08:06,205 --> 00:08:07,541
Woah there.
248
00:08:12,785 --> 00:08:16,092
Welcome... to the witch trials!
249
00:08:16,092 --> 00:08:18,096
-What?
-Oh my God.
250
00:08:18,229 --> 00:08:19,398
Welp. Great job, Tam.
251
00:08:19,398 --> 00:08:21,703
Now we've got a fricken
Jumanji situation.
252
00:08:24,075 --> 00:08:25,043
Yo,
253
00:08:25,110 --> 00:08:27,615
is this like some sort
of immersive AR thing?
254
00:08:27,615 --> 00:08:29,619
Nah nah Dar,
this is an old-school,
255
00:08:29,619 --> 00:08:31,388
classic magical game.
256
00:08:31,388 --> 00:08:32,290
You see back in the old days,
257
00:08:32,390 --> 00:08:34,395
if you wanted to have
an immersive experience,
258
00:08:34,395 --> 00:08:36,399
you had to play a
magical forbidden game.
259
00:08:36,399 --> 00:08:38,269
Uh, did you know this
was gonna happen?
260
00:08:38,269 --> 00:08:39,505
Pfft I mean I had an idea...
261
00:08:39,639 --> 00:08:41,376
Why didn't you say something!?
262
00:08:41,376 --> 00:08:43,379
Tammy, it's a creepy game
263
00:08:43,379 --> 00:08:45,518
in my creepy uncle's
creepy cellar.
264
00:08:45,518 --> 00:08:46,887
The hell did you think
was gonna happen?
265
00:08:47,020 --> 00:08:47,822
Not this!?
266
00:08:48,022 --> 00:08:49,959
Well, you should have
stuck to the itinerary.
267
00:08:49,959 --> 00:08:52,832
Your attention, please
as I explain the rules.
268
00:08:52,832 --> 00:08:54,936
You have one simple objective.
269
00:08:54,936 --> 00:08:58,544
These four women are
on trial for witchcraft.
270
00:08:58,544 --> 00:09:02,785
Your team must decide
which...is the witch!
271
00:09:02,785 --> 00:09:05,123
I mean I think I've got
a pretty good idea here.
272
00:09:05,123 --> 00:09:06,559
You're going down, Tam.
273
00:09:06,559 --> 00:09:07,929
Hah, no chance.
274
00:09:08,096 --> 00:09:11,168
You forget I got a
PhD in true crime.
275
00:09:11,970 --> 00:09:14,241
In order to determine
who the witch is
276
00:09:14,241 --> 00:09:17,180
you'll need to question
various townspeople.
277
00:09:17,180 --> 00:09:18,684
Ugh! Skip. Skip.
278
00:09:18,684 --> 00:09:19,686
Is there a skip button?
279
00:09:19,686 --> 00:09:20,988
Knock it off, will ya?
280
00:09:20,988 --> 00:09:23,425
You only get five
questions per turn,
281
00:09:23,425 --> 00:09:25,063
so consult with
your teammates...
282
00:09:25,197 --> 00:09:26,566
Okay and I'm out.
283
00:09:26,566 --> 00:09:27,568
Oh come on, Dar.
284
00:09:27,735 --> 00:09:29,539
The guy said it's a
team strategy game.
285
00:09:29,539 --> 00:09:31,041
We can't agree on anything.
286
00:09:31,041 --> 00:09:31,843
It's hopeless.
287
00:09:31,943 --> 00:09:33,848
Therefore, I forfeit. Ah!
288
00:09:33,848 --> 00:09:36,920
There's no quitting in
a game of life or death.
289
00:09:36,920 --> 00:09:39,024
MWUHAHAHAH!
290
00:09:39,024 --> 00:09:40,928
Life or death!?
291
00:09:41,028 --> 00:09:42,599
[bang, bang!]
292
00:09:42,832 --> 00:09:45,336
Uh...Mark? Are we
expecting someone?
293
00:09:45,336 --> 00:09:46,906
Hank, get the door, please.
294
00:09:48,844 --> 00:09:52,283
Hello, there. I live next door,
I thought I'd pop on over,
295
00:09:52,283 --> 00:09:54,288
see if you wanted me
to plow your driveway.
296
00:09:54,288 --> 00:09:57,728
Ooooh. Are you playing one of
Kenny's magical games!?
297
00:09:57,728 --> 00:10:00,032
I always wanted to play
but he'd never let me.
298
00:10:00,032 --> 00:10:02,070
Oh, well you should come play.
299
00:10:02,070 --> 00:10:03,205
Oh thanks!
300
00:10:03,205 --> 00:10:04,007
What's the game?
301
00:10:04,108 --> 00:10:05,878
It's real easy.
You just gotta like
302
00:10:05,878 --> 00:10:07,748
figure out which one's
the witch or something.
303
00:10:07,748 --> 00:10:09,886
Oh...I bet it's the black girl.
304
00:10:09,886 --> 00:10:11,321
Okay, that's a little racist.
305
00:10:11,455 --> 00:10:13,627
Is that your
official accusation?
306
00:10:13,627 --> 00:10:14,629
Eh, sure.
307
00:10:14,629 --> 00:10:15,631
Incorrect!
308
00:10:15,631 --> 00:10:17,334
Arrrrrghhhhhhh!
309
00:10:17,334 --> 00:10:18,703
Yo, what?
310
00:10:20,206 --> 00:10:21,977
Oh. My. God.
311
00:10:21,977 --> 00:10:23,079
He's...
312
00:10:23,647 --> 00:10:24,882
he's gonna respawn, right?
313
00:10:24,882 --> 00:10:26,452
Shouldn't have
skipped the rules.
314
00:10:26,452 --> 00:10:30,895
Only the Jury Foreman can
make official accusations.
315
00:10:30,895 --> 00:10:32,532
Who's the jury foreman?
316
00:10:32,532 --> 00:10:33,265
You!
317
00:10:33,767 --> 00:10:35,604
Okay I'll admit.
318
00:10:35,604 --> 00:10:37,742
Got Darren in the
old timey wig there.
319
00:10:37,742 --> 00:10:38,409
That's pretty funny.
320
00:10:38,577 --> 00:10:40,915
Mark! We need to
take this seriously!
321
00:10:40,915 --> 00:10:42,618
Don't look at me,
I mean you're the one
322
00:10:42,618 --> 00:10:44,488
who haaaad to play the
fricken forbidden game.
323
00:10:44,488 --> 00:10:45,356
I warned you dude.
324
00:10:45,490 --> 00:10:46,693
Ugh.
325
00:10:48,262 --> 00:10:48,798
Woah...
326
00:10:48,931 --> 00:10:51,235
uh..okay.
Are you a ghost?
327
00:10:51,235 --> 00:10:52,370
Am I having a stroke?
328
00:10:52,370 --> 00:10:54,040
Is this like a Shining thing?
329
00:10:54,040 --> 00:10:55,878
No.
I just want to explore a bit
330
00:10:55,945 --> 00:10:57,815
before I get sucked back
into the game again.
331
00:10:57,815 --> 00:11:00,120
Okay...so I am hallucinating.
332
00:11:00,120 --> 00:11:00,822
Oh man.
333
00:11:00,988 --> 00:11:02,191
I have such a low
reishi tolerance.
334
00:11:02,191 --> 00:11:03,928
So why aren't you out
there playing the game?
335
00:11:04,061 --> 00:11:07,702
Well I have to write a novella
from scratch in three days
336
00:11:07,702 --> 00:11:09,773
which is why I came up
here in the first place,
337
00:11:09,773 --> 00:11:11,075
so I could be alone
338
00:11:11,075 --> 00:11:13,647
and of course the
fricken idiot brigade
339
00:11:13,647 --> 00:11:15,551
just shows up and I can't focus.
340
00:11:15,551 --> 00:11:18,289
Why is God so mean to me?!
341
00:11:18,790 --> 00:11:19,659
Sounds rough.
342
00:11:19,959 --> 00:11:21,530
Ugh. You don't even
know the half of it.
343
00:11:21,530 --> 00:11:23,165
Anyway, what's your deal?
344
00:11:23,165 --> 00:11:24,301
I'm a slave.
345
00:11:24,301 --> 00:11:25,170
Oh.
346
00:11:25,170 --> 00:11:25,838
Uh,
347
00:11:25,838 --> 00:11:27,174
sorry to hear that...
348
00:11:27,174 --> 00:11:28,209
So you're a writer?
349
00:11:28,209 --> 00:11:29,845
I actually taught
myself how to read.
350
00:11:29,845 --> 00:11:32,417
That's why everyone in the
village thinks I'm a witch.
351
00:11:32,417 --> 00:11:33,218
Interesting...
352
00:11:33,218 --> 00:11:35,089
you know,
I'd actually be curious
353
00:11:35,089 --> 00:11:36,726
to get your thoughts
on something...
354
00:11:36,726 --> 00:11:38,931
I think you're gonna like it.
355
00:11:39,733 --> 00:11:42,270
Okay, big money,
big money no whammies.
356
00:11:42,270 --> 00:11:43,138
Boom!
357
00:11:44,810 --> 00:11:47,447
You may ask the
reverend five questions.
358
00:11:47,581 --> 00:11:48,951
Okay. Watch and learn.
359
00:11:48,951 --> 00:11:51,321
Hun, remember, we're a team.
360
00:11:51,321 --> 00:11:52,457
How we doin' pal?
361
00:11:52,457 --> 00:11:53,326
Fine.
362
00:11:53,326 --> 00:11:54,461
Can I ask you a question?
363
00:11:54,461 --> 00:11:54,962
Sure.
364
00:11:55,096 --> 00:11:56,833
Three questions remaining.
365
00:11:56,833 --> 00:11:58,837
Stop wasting questions!
366
00:11:58,837 --> 00:12:00,473
Okay level with me here, Father.
367
00:12:00,574 --> 00:12:02,210
Yo she's a witch, right?
368
00:12:02,210 --> 00:12:02,712
Probably.
369
00:12:02,712 --> 00:12:04,347
Boom. There it is.
370
00:12:04,347 --> 00:12:05,350
He could be lying!
371
00:12:05,584 --> 00:12:07,020
You're not lying to me,
are you pal?
372
00:12:07,020 --> 00:12:09,024
No.
I'm a man of god.
373
00:12:09,024 --> 00:12:10,894
Great, Tam.
Now I look like a jerk.
374
00:12:10,894 --> 00:12:12,598
One more question.
375
00:12:12,598 --> 00:12:14,769
Mark! Consult with
your teammates.
376
00:12:14,769 --> 00:12:15,403
Trust me Tam,
377
00:12:15,705 --> 00:12:16,205
she's gotta be the
witch. I mean the warts,
378
00:12:16,372 --> 00:12:18,109
the big nose. Look at that.
379
00:12:18,109 --> 00:12:19,979
That's like a classic
witch right there okay?
380
00:12:19,979 --> 00:12:21,448
I'd like to solve the puzzle!
381
00:12:21,448 --> 00:12:22,752
Stop rushing.
382
00:12:22,752 --> 00:12:24,756
We just watched a
guy burn to death.
383
00:12:24,756 --> 00:12:26,125
Well, maybe he'd be alive
384
00:12:26,125 --> 00:12:27,995
if we played Ball
Blasters, okay? Just sayin'.
385
00:12:27,995 --> 00:12:30,867
Would you just ask him if
he's seen anything suspicious.
386
00:12:30,867 --> 00:12:31,869
Tammy, you know,
387
00:12:32,203 --> 00:12:33,874
you've already hijacked
our classic Poconos weekend
388
00:12:33,874 --> 00:12:35,310
and now you won't even
let me do my turn.
389
00:12:35,310 --> 00:12:37,748
I will ask the questions,
thank you very much.
390
00:12:37,748 --> 00:12:39,619
Father, let me ask you. Uh...
391
00:12:39,753 --> 00:12:41,623
you seen anything
suspicious, or?
392
00:12:41,623 --> 00:12:42,390
Indeed.
393
00:12:42,991 --> 00:12:45,296
I witnessed Eleanor over there
in the parish kitchen
394
00:12:45,296 --> 00:12:48,469
sprinkling eye of newt
into a cauldron.
395
00:12:48,469 --> 00:12:49,606
Okay now that's a twist.
396
00:12:49,606 --> 00:12:51,041
You got the fricken
lizard eyeballs?
397
00:12:51,041 --> 00:12:54,114
Yo that's a classic witch thing.
It's gotta be the nun.
398
00:12:54,348 --> 00:12:55,216
[sniffs]
399
00:12:55,216 --> 00:12:56,920
Mark,
this ain't newt eyes.
400
00:12:56,920 --> 00:12:57,722
It's mustard seed.
401
00:12:58,022 --> 00:12:59,926
That's what they used
to call it back in the day.
402
00:12:59,926 --> 00:13:02,230
I mean witches eat
mustard too, Tam.
403
00:13:03,032 --> 00:13:04,334
I'm gonna be honest, David.
404
00:13:04,334 --> 00:13:05,904
I can't even make
it through this.
405
00:13:05,904 --> 00:13:08,342
What? Why not!?
I did tons of research!
406
00:13:08,342 --> 00:13:10,781
Did you get to the part
about Osnaburg fabric?
407
00:13:10,781 --> 00:13:13,419
I did yeah.
That's definitely what we wear.
408
00:13:13,419 --> 00:13:14,220
Yes indeed.
409
00:13:14,220 --> 00:13:15,691
So, would you say
it's authentic?
410
00:13:15,691 --> 00:13:16,559
I guess.
411
00:13:16,559 --> 00:13:17,929
Haha! I did it!
412
00:13:17,929 --> 00:13:19,565
Suck it, writers group!
413
00:13:20,801 --> 00:13:21,669
Edith?
414
00:13:21,936 --> 00:13:23,172
Okay, Mr. Blacksmith,
415
00:13:23,205 --> 00:13:27,147
have you ever seen any of these
girls doing anything strange?
416
00:13:27,147 --> 00:13:27,782
Indeed.
417
00:13:28,182 --> 00:13:30,419
The other day I saw
Agnes behind the stables,
418
00:13:30,419 --> 00:13:31,455
kissing... a girl.
419
00:13:31,455 --> 00:13:33,661
Ohhh boy, that chick's
definitely the witch.
420
00:13:33,661 --> 00:13:34,962
Kissing girls?
I mean that's “Classic ”
421
00:13:34,962 --> 00:13:36,198
sexy witch stuff right there.
422
00:13:36,198 --> 00:13:38,069
It's just like that
movie with Bette Midler
423
00:13:38,069 --> 00:13:38,771
where they all make out.
424
00:13:39,038 --> 00:13:41,409
What version of Hocus
Pocus did you watch?
425
00:13:41,409 --> 00:13:42,545
I don't know what that is.
426
00:13:42,712 --> 00:13:44,582
Three questions remaining.
427
00:13:44,582 --> 00:13:45,382
Ugh, Mark!
428
00:13:45,382 --> 00:13:47,087
Would you stop
messin' up my turn?
429
00:13:47,087 --> 00:13:48,957
Okay, Mr. Blacksmith,
430
00:13:48,957 --> 00:13:51,963
have you ever seen Margaret
do anything strange?
431
00:13:51,963 --> 00:13:53,399
Never seen anything myself,
432
00:13:53,399 --> 00:13:55,403
but you know she's
always in a rotten mood.
433
00:13:55,403 --> 00:13:57,274
Yelling at her husband
and what not.
434
00:13:57,274 --> 00:13:58,811
[cackling]
435
00:13:59,111 --> 00:14:00,948
Ohh yeah,
that's a witch alright!
436
00:14:00,948 --> 00:14:03,586
Can you tell me more
about Margaret's husband?
437
00:14:03,586 --> 00:14:05,123
Oh, he's a real piece of work.
438
00:14:05,123 --> 00:14:07,493
Always running off doing
crazy things with his brother,
439
00:14:07,628 --> 00:14:10,132
the village idiot.
Heard he commandeered a horse
440
00:14:10,132 --> 00:14:12,704
and tried to make it do some
sort of backflip maneuver.
441
00:14:12,704 --> 00:14:14,440
Said it was his
"signature move."
442
00:14:15,009 --> 00:14:16,713
Guy sounds pretty cool actually.
443
00:14:16,713 --> 00:14:18,016
Yeah.
444
00:14:18,016 --> 00:14:20,587
Did this husband of hers
ever check with his wife
445
00:14:20,587 --> 00:14:22,223
before he did these things?
446
00:14:22,223 --> 00:14:22,891
Nope.
447
00:14:22,891 --> 00:14:25,631
That was your final question.
448
00:14:25,631 --> 00:14:26,632
Dammit, Tam.
449
00:14:29,873 --> 00:14:31,610
Hell yeah. Fourteen.
450
00:14:31,610 --> 00:14:33,546
You have rolled a 12.
451
00:14:33,546 --> 00:14:37,722
You have 60 seconds
to question the Baker.
452
00:14:38,155 --> 00:14:40,995
Oooh what's that?
Some kind of witch goo?
453
00:14:40,995 --> 00:14:42,363
Ooh good catch, dude.
454
00:14:42,363 --> 00:14:42,999
It's dough.
455
00:14:42,999 --> 00:14:45,169
Oh my god. Hank! C'mon.
456
00:14:45,169 --> 00:14:46,873
So you're telling me
that blob right there
457
00:14:46,873 --> 00:14:48,242
is gonna become bread?
458
00:14:48,242 --> 00:14:48,877
Yes.
459
00:14:49,177 --> 00:14:50,548
Man. How far in the
future do you live?
460
00:14:50,548 --> 00:14:54,287
Actually this game takes
place 300 years in the past.
461
00:14:54,287 --> 00:14:56,760
Whoa.
Now that's a twist.
462
00:14:56,760 --> 00:14:59,163
Two questions remaining.
463
00:14:59,163 --> 00:15:01,301
Hank,
let's work as a team here.
464
00:15:01,301 --> 00:15:03,038
Okay.
What should I ask?
465
00:15:03,038 --> 00:15:06,344
You should ask about the spell
Agnes cast on my bread.
466
00:15:06,344 --> 00:15:07,280
Oh. Okay uh...
467
00:15:07,514 --> 00:15:10,019
so what kind of spell did
Agnes cast on your bread?
468
00:15:10,019 --> 00:15:12,324
One day I caught her
speaking in tongues.
469
00:15:12,324 --> 00:15:14,895
And it turned out she turned
all my bread into crackers!
470
00:15:15,029 --> 00:15:16,365
Uh, witch alert!
471
00:15:16,365 --> 00:15:17,033
We're dead.
472
00:15:17,568 --> 00:15:20,473
It's time to make
your final accusation.
473
00:15:20,473 --> 00:15:23,045
You have two minutes
to deliberate.
474
00:15:23,045 --> 00:15:25,083
The foreman makes
the final decision.
475
00:15:25,083 --> 00:15:26,653
Choose carefully...
476
00:15:26,653 --> 00:15:28,289
or die!
477
00:15:28,422 --> 00:15:29,659
Muahahaha!
478
00:15:29,659 --> 00:15:31,161
Oh no.
479
00:15:36,071 --> 00:15:37,306
Oh there you are! Um...
480
00:15:37,306 --> 00:15:38,108
Can you just do
me a quick favor?
481
00:15:38,275 --> 00:15:40,947
Can I just get a quick
video of you saying
482
00:15:40,947 --> 00:15:43,954
that you found my novel
like super authentic
483
00:15:43,954 --> 00:15:45,690
and powerful or whatever?
484
00:15:45,690 --> 00:15:46,526
Okay go.
485
00:15:46,526 --> 00:15:47,695
Uh...
486
00:15:47,695 --> 00:15:48,495
Wait what the hell?
487
00:15:48,495 --> 00:15:50,400
Why aren't you
showing up on here?!
488
00:15:50,534 --> 00:15:51,202
Damnit!
489
00:15:51,737 --> 00:15:54,576
I forgot you're just a fricken
figment of my imagination.
490
00:15:54,576 --> 00:15:57,413
Ugh.
Ugh. I'm screwed.
491
00:15:57,413 --> 00:16:00,152
I'm screwed!!!
492
00:16:00,721 --> 00:16:01,388
Alright team listen up,
493
00:16:01,690 --> 00:16:03,258
so they're obviously
all witches. We agree.
494
00:16:03,258 --> 00:16:04,696
Let's do this.
We're ready.
495
00:16:04,696 --> 00:16:05,396
Mark, no.
496
00:16:05,564 --> 00:16:06,700
Tam You gotta trust
me on this one.
497
00:16:06,700 --> 00:16:07,502
I got great witch-dar.
498
00:16:07,769 --> 00:16:09,470
When I watched Wizard of Oz
for the first time,
499
00:16:09,470 --> 00:16:11,107
I knew exactly
who the witch was.
500
00:16:11,107 --> 00:16:12,043
I called it right off the bat.
501
00:16:12,109 --> 00:16:14,816
Uh her name was
"The Wicked Witch of the West."
502
00:16:14,816 --> 00:16:15,817
Yeah but also the socks.
503
00:16:16,018 --> 00:16:17,253
I mean come on. Tam,
I know witches. Okay,
504
00:16:17,253 --> 00:16:18,355
I got witches in my family!
505
00:16:18,355 --> 00:16:20,226
Mark I think it's pretty obvious
506
00:16:20,226 --> 00:16:21,997
that the whole point
of this game is that
507
00:16:21,997 --> 00:16:23,499
there are No Real Witches!
508
00:16:23,499 --> 00:16:26,004
It was just a bunch of
ignorant, fearful people
509
00:16:26,004 --> 00:16:27,541
making baseless accusations.
510
00:16:27,541 --> 00:16:29,111
So how do you square
that with the fact that
511
00:16:29,111 --> 00:16:30,881
all these women are
obviously witches!?
512
00:16:30,881 --> 00:16:31,916
They're not witches!
513
00:16:31,916 --> 00:16:35,123
Eleanor was just making mustard
and Agnes is gay.
514
00:16:35,123 --> 00:16:36,792
Yeah, but what about
the bread spell?
515
00:16:36,792 --> 00:16:39,999
Speaking in tongues?
Turning bread into crackers?
516
00:16:39,999 --> 00:16:41,502
She's Jewish, Hank.
517
00:16:41,502 --> 00:16:43,105
Time's almost up.
518
00:16:43,105 --> 00:16:44,408
Tam, how are you gonna tell me
519
00:16:44,474 --> 00:16:46,277
that the fricken one with
the warts is not a witch?
520
00:16:46,277 --> 00:16:47,982
I mean look, she's a classic
fricken witch right there.
521
00:16:47,982 --> 00:16:50,521
Oh come on.
She's obviously not a witch!
522
00:16:50,521 --> 00:16:53,158
She's just frustrated with
her husband's reckless antics.
523
00:16:53,158 --> 00:16:54,862
Oh come on Tam
that's ridiculous.
524
00:16:54,862 --> 00:16:55,864
Stop! Stop!
525
00:16:56,065 --> 00:16:58,169
I'm sick of you both
arguing all the time.
526
00:16:58,169 --> 00:17:00,173
Thirty seconds remaining...
527
00:17:00,173 --> 00:17:02,043
Darren, now's not the
time to get into this--
528
00:17:02,043 --> 00:17:04,281
No. It's exactly the
time to get into this
529
00:17:04,281 --> 00:17:06,786
because if you would both would
just listen to each other,
530
00:17:06,786 --> 00:17:07,921
you could figure it out.
531
00:17:07,921 --> 00:17:08,856
I'm actually an
excellent listener.
532
00:17:08,856 --> 00:17:11,161
I listen very long-form
podcasts occasionally.
533
00:17:11,161 --> 00:17:12,831
You think they're
literally all witches
534
00:17:12,831 --> 00:17:15,169
when Mom clearly showed
you the evidence was bad.
535
00:17:15,169 --> 00:17:17,774
Exactly.
None of 'em are witches.
536
00:17:17,774 --> 00:17:18,643
Tell 'em Dar.
537
00:17:18,643 --> 00:17:19,812
No. You're wrong, mom.
538
00:17:19,812 --> 00:17:22,316
What are you talking about!?
You said it yourself.
539
00:17:22,316 --> 00:17:24,756
There's no witches.
There's no magic!
540
00:17:24,756 --> 00:17:26,324
Except there is magic!
541
00:17:26,324 --> 00:17:28,462
It's literally a magical game.
542
00:17:28,462 --> 00:17:31,536
Which means it was
made by a witch.
543
00:17:31,536 --> 00:17:33,907
5...4...
544
00:17:33,907 --> 00:17:35,076
-3...
-I'm ready to make my
545
00:17:35,076 --> 00:17:36,211
-2...
-my final accusation:
546
00:17:36,211 --> 00:17:38,215
-1...
-the witch is...
547
00:17:38,215 --> 00:17:39,084
“Margaret! ”
548
00:17:39,084 --> 00:17:40,085
-Oh jeez...
-Woah.
549
00:17:40,085 --> 00:17:42,792
What?! No!
Dar what are you doing--
550
00:17:42,792 --> 00:17:44,528
That is...
551
00:17:44,528 --> 00:17:45,830
correct!
552
00:17:45,830 --> 00:17:47,968
Margaret?
The classic witch?
553
00:17:47,968 --> 00:17:50,072
Uh...who would make
a game that stupid!
554
00:17:50,172 --> 00:17:52,176
It was made by Hoagies!
555
00:17:52,176 --> 00:17:54,181
The game can definately
be that stupid.
556
00:17:54,181 --> 00:17:55,817
Oh my god.
- Oh yeah?
557
00:17:55,817 --> 00:17:56,485
How about that?
558
00:17:56,686 --> 00:17:58,356
That's my great
great Aunt Margaret.
559
00:17:58,356 --> 00:17:59,926
Yeah, apparently she was
a witch or something.
560
00:17:59,926 --> 00:18:01,194
Mom, you were so busy
561
00:18:01,194 --> 00:18:03,199
trying to figure
everything out yourself,
562
00:18:03,199 --> 00:18:05,235
you weren't listening
when Mark literally said
563
00:18:05,235 --> 00:18:06,706
he had witches in his family.
564
00:18:06,706 --> 00:18:07,239
Huh.
565
00:18:07,440 --> 00:18:08,810
Yo. Looks like
we got a regular
566
00:18:08,810 --> 00:18:10,581
Encyclopedia Brown over here.
567
00:18:10,581 --> 00:18:12,951
Well done, children.
568
00:18:12,951 --> 00:18:14,253
Why in the hell
would you make a game
569
00:18:14,253 --> 00:18:15,957
that could kill
your descendants?
570
00:18:15,957 --> 00:18:17,794
The game was meant
to keep curious,
571
00:18:17,794 --> 00:18:21,502
naughty little children
out of my workshop.
572
00:18:21,502 --> 00:18:24,107
Luckily, you're a good team...
573
00:18:24,107 --> 00:18:26,545
well except for
that guy over there.
574
00:18:26,846 --> 00:18:29,117
Alright, well,
575
00:18:29,117 --> 00:18:31,856
back to the spirit world we go!
576
00:18:31,856 --> 00:18:33,560
[cackling!]
577
00:18:33,560 --> 00:18:35,295
Go birds!
578
00:18:36,231 --> 00:18:37,968
I've got nothing!
579
00:18:37,968 --> 00:18:40,105
I have a once-in-a-
lifetime chance
580
00:18:40,105 --> 00:18:42,110
to impress Yael fricken Golding
581
00:18:42,110 --> 00:18:43,245
and I've got nothing!
582
00:18:43,245 --> 00:18:45,984
Argh!
Maybe Andrea is right.
583
00:18:45,984 --> 00:18:46,786
I'm not a writer!
584
00:18:46,986 --> 00:18:49,124
I should just go back
to being a stupid lawyer
585
00:18:49,124 --> 00:18:50,994
and stop this charade.
586
00:18:50,994 --> 00:18:52,865
I don't even like writing!!
587
00:18:52,865 --> 00:18:54,668
Uh, you okay, David?
588
00:18:54,802 --> 00:18:56,940
Maybe you're putting too
much pressure on yourself.
589
00:18:56,940 --> 00:18:59,143
Stop trying to write the
next great American novel
590
00:18:59,277 --> 00:19:01,583
and just write something fun.
591
00:19:01,583 --> 00:19:02,384
Fun?
592
00:19:02,384 --> 00:19:03,319
What does that even mean?
593
00:19:03,386 --> 00:19:05,691
I don't know.
Stop trying to impress people
594
00:19:05,691 --> 00:19:07,895
and think of something
that gets you excited.
595
00:19:07,895 --> 00:19:09,464
And then just let it rip.
596
00:19:10,734 --> 00:19:11,903
Oh my god,
597
00:19:12,037 --> 00:19:12,905
did you see that?
598
00:19:12,905 --> 00:19:14,909
His head freakin' exploded!
599
00:19:14,909 --> 00:19:16,344
Hell yeah!
600
00:19:18,550 --> 00:19:19,417
Edith?
601
00:19:22,290 --> 00:19:23,292
Hehe, yo, we did it!
602
00:19:23,292 --> 00:19:24,460
Well Tam, I gotta say,
603
00:19:24,595 --> 00:19:27,166
that game was actually
pretty fricken awesome.
604
00:19:27,166 --> 00:19:28,035
Thanks, hun.
605
00:19:28,269 --> 00:19:29,304
I guess when we
listen to each other
606
00:19:29,304 --> 00:19:30,574
we make a pretty good team.
607
00:19:30,574 --> 00:19:32,878
Hey, we do make a pretty
good team right...
608
00:19:32,878 --> 00:19:33,647
wink wink...
609
00:19:33,647 --> 00:19:34,314
You know,
610
00:19:34,481 --> 00:19:35,984
I've got an idea
for a new classic
611
00:19:36,117 --> 00:19:39,190
Hoagies Poconos weekend activity
if you know what I mean...
612
00:19:39,190 --> 00:19:40,426
Ooh Wienerland?
613
00:19:40,426 --> 00:19:41,563
You could say that.
614
00:19:41,563 --> 00:19:43,198
Oh god,
maybe I prefer you guys
615
00:19:43,198 --> 00:19:44,935
not listening to each other.
616
00:19:45,302 --> 00:19:47,508
Oh, Mark! This is so crazy!
617
00:19:47,508 --> 00:19:48,576
Yeah!
618
00:19:48,843 --> 00:19:51,616
I can't believe we're doing this
in the bed Uncle Kenny died in.
619
00:19:51,616 --> 00:19:54,187
Think of something
that gets you excited.
620
00:19:54,187 --> 00:19:55,524
Let it rip.
621
00:19:55,524 --> 00:19:57,193
Uh-huh!
622
00:19:57,327 --> 00:19:58,829
[fast typing]
623
00:19:59,063 --> 00:19:59,865
Yes, yes.
624
00:19:59,932 --> 00:20:02,504
I mean I do got
witches in my family
625
00:20:02,504 --> 00:20:03,238
you know what I mean?
626
00:20:04,842 --> 00:20:07,180
Mark, I gotta say these
are actually pretty good.
627
00:20:07,180 --> 00:20:09,350
Yo I know right?
Yeah the cheesesteak pancakes,
628
00:20:09,350 --> 00:20:12,056
those are a classic
Poconos Weekend tradition.
629
00:20:12,056 --> 00:20:14,361
Yo, there he is! You finish?
630
00:20:14,361 --> 00:20:16,365
Hahahaha.
Yes, Mark.
631
00:20:16,365 --> 00:20:18,670
So did we inspire any ideas?
632
00:20:18,670 --> 00:20:19,671
Oh yes.
633
00:20:19,671 --> 00:20:21,107
Very much so.
634
00:20:21,107 --> 00:20:22,377
Awesome dude.
635
00:20:22,377 --> 00:20:24,982
Oh and Darren,
got a little surprise for you.
636
00:20:25,483 --> 00:20:27,354
Uh...what are you doing Mark?
637
00:20:27,354 --> 00:20:28,824
Why don't you call me Dad.
638
00:20:29,124 --> 00:20:30,560
I'm gonna be your
Dad now, buddy.
639
00:20:31,361 --> 00:20:32,363
Nah...I'm good.
640
00:20:32,931 --> 00:20:35,503
Love you too, son!
He's getting emotional.
641
00:20:35,503 --> 00:20:37,306
Didn't want it on
camera, you know.
642
00:20:39,344 --> 00:20:42,985
And now I'd like to
welcome up...David!
643
00:20:42,985 --> 00:20:44,221
Yo let's go, Jinglebells!
644
00:20:44,221 --> 00:20:46,158
Let it rip, baby!
Let's go!
645
00:20:46,759 --> 00:20:49,665
The sharp smell of
pine filled my nostrils
646
00:20:49,665 --> 00:20:51,736
as I drove up the
winding mountain
647
00:20:51,736 --> 00:20:52,771
towards the estate.
648
00:20:52,771 --> 00:20:54,908
On the radio, the news
warned of a virus,
649
00:20:54,908 --> 00:20:58,148
infecting the brains of people
in the Philadelphia area.
650
00:20:58,148 --> 00:21:00,787
He grunted in his stupid accent:
651
00:21:00,787 --> 00:21:03,091
"Guys Day. Guys Day!
That's classic."
652
00:21:03,225 --> 00:21:06,397
I ripped the three-thousand
dollar crossbow from his hands
653
00:21:06,397 --> 00:21:08,168
and RAT-TAT-TAT,
654
00:21:08,168 --> 00:21:10,272
lit him up like Boathouse Row.
655
00:21:10,272 --> 00:21:11,041
Oh, god.
656
00:21:11,274 --> 00:21:13,379
I jammed the frozen hot
dogs through his eyes
657
00:21:13,513 --> 00:21:15,516
and into his hollow skull.
658
00:21:15,516 --> 00:21:18,556
...I admired their rotting
corpses on the spiked fence
659
00:21:18,556 --> 00:21:20,026
while I sipped my tea
660
00:21:20,026 --> 00:21:22,329
and basked in the silence.
661
00:21:23,032 --> 00:21:25,135
It's horrible. Just awful.
662
00:21:25,704 --> 00:21:27,641
Incredible, David.
That was great!
663
00:21:28,275 --> 00:21:29,010
Yeah, you like that?
664
00:21:29,010 --> 00:21:29,912
Nailed it, dude.
665
00:21:29,912 --> 00:21:30,914
Let's get out of here.
46497
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