All language subtitles for Transplant.S03E05.Nadir.1080p.AMZN.WEB-DL.DD5.1.H.264-NTb_track3_[eng]

m not sure I can keep
coming here.

Bashir.
Let's talk about this.

I don't think you can help me.

- You're demoting me?
- I have a responsibility
to the department.

Do you need a project?
'Cause there is always the bomb

that seems to have gone off
in the kitchen.

I'm searching for some way
to connect,

and it's like you want
nothing to do with me.

You own stock in the company
that's marketing the ICD.

Are you sure that
that's not a conflict?

Not according
to the ethics board.

I need to know I can stand
behind what we're doing.

Do you feel okay?
You're breathing fast.

I need a gurney in here now!

Help! I need help in here!

Call Doctor Fisher,
tell her heart rate's 190!

No change in rhythm.
Her pressure's dropping!

Get her to the cath lab!

Three, two, one, go.

Get her on a rebreather!

50 ketamine, IV push.

Dr. Hamed, we've got this!

I just heard, Bash.

100 joules, synchronized.

Charging!
- No, no, no, one of
her pads is loose!

Anyone not part of the
cardiology department leaves.

Now!
- No! I'm not leaving!

Bash. Come on.

Bash, let's go, man.
Let them do their job.

Clear!

I was asleep! Okay?

Her rhythm jumped
and I didn't hear it in time!

What would you have done?
Call the nurse a split second

before the monitor?
- If I'd been awake--

Bash, Bash! Get a grip man.

How many times have we told
patients and their families

not to blame themselves?

What's going on?

Guys what the hell
is going on?

She keeps going in and out
of A-fib

which her pacemaker
can't pick up.

What? Mags has a pacemaker?

She never said anything about
a heart history.

- Yeah, me either.
- I guess maybe she thought

it was behind her...

Okay, I...
I have to get back.

Uh, you can--
You stay, I'm just gonna--

I have to go cover.

You're sure you don't mind

taking Amira a few more days?

It's not me minding
you should worry about.

She knows, Bashir.

That Mags and I are...?

- Yeah.
- You told her?

She had already figured
it out,

and I didn't lie when she asked
me what was going on now.

I knew she'd be upset, that's
why I didn't say anything.

This is not why she's upset.

Come one, this is about
art school again--

I don't mean to pile on.

So this is where patients
come in from an ambulance.

Wow, heads up guys.

The aquarium tickets are timed,
I cleared 12 to 1.

Oh no, I could only get
10 to 11.

Does that mean you can't come?

Who do sharks see
when they need doctors mama?

Whales. I guess we'll divide
and conquer

and I will take you
swimming later?

You're still interviewing
nannies today right?

Oh, is this the little
family here?

Yes, it is.

Bowie, Phoebe,
this is Dr. Novak.

Hey, buddy. You wanna to go
see the Trauma OR?

It's where all the coolest
stuff happens.

Actually we've got to go.

Okay.

Uh, will you give me just
one sec? Mark?

It's a ...cute kid.

Did you not check email
overseas?

I did. I wanted Dr. Hamed
for Trauma OR from the first
place. So...

I also want us to put
our heads together around
efficiencies.

I've already run a few things
past June,

maybe we could meet later
this week?

Yes, okay.
I'll look forward to it.

Was that him?

That was him.

If I get to the nannies
next week, will you be mad?

Yes. But I love you anyway.

Come here!

Oh, I've got to go.

Alright, love you.
- Ciao.

This is Shay, speak.

Hey Shay you didn't come back
last night.

I know we had an argument
but you can come home,

so call me when you get this.

Oh well, well, well. If it
isn't Team Trauma OR. Looking...

emotionally roiled?
- How was Turkey?

Actually, I ended up
in northeast Syria.

Huge displaced population
in a camp there.

You were in Al-Hol?

I mean there were no water
supply, so most of the time

was spent helping distribution,

but we did four kidney
transplants.

I guess you can't cross
that border yet?

Not without risking arrest.

Even if I had
a Canadian passport

Well, we need you here
at home anyways.

At least one good thing came out
of the ground

Dr. Curtis ceded to Devi
in my absence.

You mean by reporting
to the boss who was holding
down the fort

for the one who wasn't?
- No, I mean

by setting a precedent that
she gets to have an opinion
on our process.

Which I now need to undo.

It's getting crowded out there
in emerg.

How often does
the residency board

want you training
in surgery?

Every third shift,
otherwise it's ED.

And always on call
to Trauma OR,

'cause I get first priority.

Bash!

Let me know how it's going
with Mags.

Gurjeet Sran?
Sorry to keep you waiting, sir.

I hear you're having trouble
swallowing?

It's hurt right here
when I heat or drink something.

Let's take a look.

Your scarring. IED?

Afghanistan, 2010.

Went for the sunshine, came
back with a shrapnel fragment

lodged in my neck.

That was it for active service,

now I work
as a drill instructor.

I was with the recruits
this morning

when the pain really spiked.

Deep breath.

I already don't look like them
so fainting with pain

doesn't really...

make it any easier to earn
respect.

I bet you know
what that's like.

So uh, you a vet?

You clued in
on the IED pretty quick.

Uh, no I was a trauma surgeon
in Syria.

Hum, I think the shrapnel
might be pressing

up against
your esophageal tract.

Does it still mess you up?

I'm sorry?

The war. Syria.

Your people spoke up and asked
for the lives you deserved,

and they took your country away
to punish you for it.

Hum... Uh, you need a scope
to see if there's an obstruction

in your throat and
we'll need to sedate you.

Do you have any friends
or a family member

we can call to pick you up?
- The base will send someone.

Okay.

And the paramedics
gave him a shot of benzo, Dad?

But he kept low-level seizing.

Are you sure
you can get that line in?

I am sure.

Are you okay holding him?
Nancy here can help.

No, no. It's better
if I do it.

Caleb you'll gonna feel
a little pinch. Okay?

Matthews, Marner, Bunting...

Kerfoot, Tavares, Nylander...

Leafs fan, eh?

Memorizing all the line combos
calms us down.

Nancy, supplement of oxygen
please.

- And a bedside glucose?
- Yeah.

When did Caleb was diagnosed
with Niemann Pick Disease?

He was one when we started
noticing loss of eye control.

It's been progressive
from there.

Nancy, are you familiar
with it?

Caleb's type C,
his body can't break down fat

and it's a chain reaction
of muscle deterioration.

There's no cure.

Sorry, I'm never sure
who needs it explained.

No, it makes sense.
Nice job, Caleb.

Has he been put on any
of the experimental trials?

We've tried a few,
but no success.

There's a new one
but it's for kids under five

and Caleb turned six last month

We went to the hockey game.

Bet that was fun!

Sometimes they can make
exceptions

if his team makes a case for it.

Hey, hey buddy.

Should we do the power play?
Yeah, let's do the power play.

Tavares, Nylander, Matthews...

Code for meds-peds?
Elizabeth Bergeron?

Thought I still had her number
from when we were residents.

Oh, I think she read
your mind.

Wow, there she is.

Caleb Pasternak?
Avrum texted.

- Yeah, uh, hi Liz.
- Hi.

Caleb's been low grade seizing
for 30, I just wanted to check

before swapping to a second-line
anti-epileptic.

Maybe valproate?

Caleb's last seizure
was almost refractory,

we weren't sure he was gonna
pull out, but he did.

How long do you think he has?

Usually when it presents
this young,

they don't make it
to five years old.

Not that you'd know it
from Avrum's stamina.

- Mom still in the picture?
- No.

Most parents in his position
can trade off.

You know one hopes while
the other one despairs,

but Avrum, he...

He's left doing both
all the time.

Yeah.

You know you could have
just swapped the infusion, Theo.

I mean last I heard
you were moving up in the world,

supervising doctor across emerg?

Yeah, well, then you
probably also heard about

the roller-coaster year I had?

Divorce, helicopter crash,
twitter pariah.

Oh! Are you the reason
for the email we just got

about looping HR into
social media interactions?

And now I am required to get
sign off

on even simple infusions.

So, how do you dig your way
out of that brand of purgatory?

Maybe by not pulling on
my restraints.

Huh, if you need anything,
you let me know.

You specifically told me
I'd be here an hour

and it's been six.
- I'm sorry Ms. Kachinsky,

the doctor wanted
some different tests

and we had some very urgent
patients come in.

ED?

Rhoda texted about Mags,
she okay?

It's still a wait and
see and--

Hey, Arnold if you're late,
you really got to call

Actually, I'm early. Between
the wait time communication

and the patient satisfaction
surveys that Devi wants.

You've got less time
to do more?

And in our transition from
12 to 8-hour days,

there's been gaps in
shift change.

So, Rhoda and I have been taking
turns covering them

until we get it sorted out
so things don't fall through
the cracks.

- Unpaid?
- Told him to keep a log.

Curtain 2 needs fluids,
curtain 3 is still waiting

on OR transfer.
Should somebody be getting that?

ED?

Bash you told Ms. Kachinsky
she doesn't need labs but now

she does?
- It's because her fever
wouldn't go down.

Okay, hold on a second,
I'll ask.

OR's looking for a patient,
they're supposed to be upstairs
by now?

That's a transport issue,
they need to start calling
the porters.

Never mind, I'll deal with it.

Dr. Hamed to cardiology.

Hamed cardiology.

Atrial arrhythmia from
a valve leak

which a pacemaker
can't regulate.

We replaced your battery,
ablated,

and attempted valve repair.

And where are we
on lasting damage?

Some new scarring

and the valve problem
could recur.

Is there anything we can do
to make sure it doesn't?

Same as before.
Remote monitoring.

And frequent check-ins
- When can I go home?

- In a couple days.
- How about tomorrow?

With a Holter monitor?

The fact that you're
disagreeing with me again
is a good sign,

but I'm not comfortable
sending you home alone.

She won't be.
Her sister's on the road.

Since when?

Let's see how tonight
goes first.

- You called Cam?
- Of course I did.

- Why?
- Mags, you--

There is no need for
my sister to disrupt her life.

Look she said you'd say that

and she's not giving you
an option.

- Bash--
- I'll clear my patients
for the day.

No seriously, please,
don't do that.

I'm just gonna be
sleeping all day.

Which is what I should be
doing right now.

Right?

Yes.

I'm gonna go get your doctor,
okay? Stay tight.

Oh Bash, Mr. Sran's back from
his scope,

he's still a bit out of it
from the sedative, though.

Okay, thanks.

Sir our GI confirmed that

the shrapnel is pressing up
against your esophagus.

If it breaks through it,
it'd cause severe damage

if we don't removed surgically.
So hopefully,

that will take place this week.

Nadir, you're back.

I'm Dr. Hamed. A surgeon will
phone you later today

to schedule the operation.

Okay, Mr. Sran?

You never did call me Gurjeet,
even when you were alive.

Nadir, you have to kill me.

You're confusing me
with someone else. Okay?

The effects of the sedative
should wear off soon.

That's an order, soldier!
Nadir, you have to kill me!

- Bash?
- Try taking deep breaths,
Gurjeet, please.

We took everything from you!

Maybe you should go,
he's obviously reacting to you.

- No, please!
- Bash.
- It's okay.

- Please.
You have to kill me. Please!
- Go, Bash!

Don't leave him alone until
he calms down.

You have to kill me,
Nadir, please!

Please! You have to kill me
please!

Please, no, no, don't go away!
Nadir kill me, please!

Magalie Marie Leblanc that
does not look like taking a nap.

My mind has been racing
too much

with everything I've been
letting slide.

I think the gas company will
forgive your week of bed rest.

Hey! You promised me coffee
and croissant

once I was back on my feet. That
does not look like croissant.

How about expensive
heart-conscious take-out

and bad TV tonight?

Since I'm going back
to Montreal tomorrow.

You sure you won't come with?
Stay with Mom and Dad for a bit?

No you can't really think that
would be good for my health.

What about your soul, Mags?

Not once you told me
how you feel about all this.

'Cause I've been here
before, Cam.

Yeah, as a teenager who
kept up with school from home

before there was even Zoom!

But now, in the middle of
a busy residency,

it's okay if you're daunted.

Look I'm just going
to the hospital to meet
with Fisher.

And hopefully she can clear me
in the next couple weeks.

And what does your super
attentive doctor boyfriend
think of that plan?

He doesn't... really know yet.

I get it, I do.

The overprotected kid only ever
wanted to feel normal.

But Mags...
- Look I'm gonna ease into it.

I just need to do it
on my own terms, okay? Please?

Okay. Okay.

Dr. Esfahani?
I'm Dr. Hamed.

I was hoping to connect with you
about one of your patients,

Gurjeet Sran? I treated him
in emerg last week.

Call me Karim.
Gurjeet spoke to you about me?

Uh, no, not exactly,
I did some digging

and saw that you were
a prescribing doctor for
some past medication

and saw you were on site today
so...

And you decided to stalk me?
Why?

Gurjeet was supposed to come
back for a surgical procedure

but he never did,
I wanted him to know that
it's very important.

He knows.
He doesn't want it.

It is-- I'm surely aware that
patients with PTSD...

After they've been triggered
their lives can lose shape and--

And you think
you triggered him?

He wanted someone
named Nadir to kill him.

- He spoke to you about Nadir?
- He thought I was Nadir,

I'm assuming it's someone
he knew in Afghanistan?

I can't divulge personal
details

Dr. Esfahani--
Karim, he won't return my calls.

So if you speak to him,
can you tell him to at least
come see me?

Most emerg docs wouldn't
follow up after he left.

He doesn't have anyone in his
life to come see him

and just... the way he was
talking, it uh,

it stuck with me.

I don't think pressuring him
is the right approach.

- I'm not--
- But,

Gurjeet may be willing to come
back if he gets a chance

to say what he's been needing
to say for a long time...

To Nadir.

You want me to pretend
to be Nadir?

No, I'm not even Afghani.

You two seem to have...
connected.

So much so that he projected
his dead friend onto you.

You'd be acting as a kind of
interweave to help him

unstick the memory.

And you think that
will get him to reconsider?

No promises, but it may get
him through the door.

Activate MTP,
two large bore IVs!

Dr. Devi, you're joining us?

Relax Mark.
I'm not picking up a scalpel.

We have Stanley Popavich,
gunned down in his pawn shop.

Single gun shot wound. Let's
pack cells through level 1!

Hum, you said the shooter
was 5'10?

Stan said.
I didn't see the guy!

You got to get out of here.
Go now, get out! Go, go, go, go.

- Come one.
- What does the imaging
show, June?

Looks like the bullet grazed
the gallbladder

and lodged near the spinal
column. But the trajectory
makes no sense.

Irrelevant. All that matters
is where we focus.

I guarantee you that bullet
will create a hematoma

pressing into the spine.

These dressings are
soaking through

You're more than welcome
to redress them.

Look there is information
on the gallbladder

which means the infection is
a serious concern.

Plus the paramedics said there
was sensation at the scene,

Babinski prints out.

We're gonna have to move
faster than that.

Dr. Devi? I'll do it. Just
because he has sensation now

doesn't mean he's gonna have it
in the future.

And the fact that you would
ignore spinal compression

and risk neuro deficit
makes me seriously question
your judgment

He has massive hypotension
and coagulopathy,

plus the fluid collecting
in his abdominal cavity.

We can ligate
the extrahepatic duct,

we can control the bleeding,
find out what else got hit.

Dr. Curtis is right. This is
why the bullet path is relevant.

But wrong about the priority.
Deal with the hematoma

and decompress the spine
before touching anything else.

I'm going to intubate him.
Dr. Devi,

you're more than welcome to stay
and work the bone drill?

I think suction is more
my speed.

Hey!

- Hi.
- What's up?

Our regularly scheduled
noonish heart check in?

All's good on the Holter.

Just like every other day
this week.

Rania said she'd be happy
to take Amira again

so when Cam leaves,
I can stay with you.

And be my nurse?

Dr. Williams to
cardiology.

Dr. Williams.
Cardiology.

What was that?

Wait, Mags are you...
Are you here?

Fisher called me in
for some imaging.

I didn't want you messing up
your day distracted by me.

Mags... Please.

Look, I'll find you later.
Okay?

Caleb had a rough night
at home?

Yes. It started with
cramping,

and then this fever that
got away from...

He couldn't even keep down
Pedialyte.

We're rehydrating him now.

Dr. Bergeron may have
some solutions.

I doubt it.

Something happened between
you two lastF you were here?

Nothing happened!
That's the problem.

That drug Bergeron won't fight
to get Caleb on it.

Did she say why?

Something about intense
side effects

he wouldn't be able to tolerate.

Well, if that's the case,
I'm sure she's right.

Yeah, but it's like
she's given up.

After his seizure,
I asked her to admit us.

She said, "Home is better
than a hospital." But for who?

Is there anyone around that
can help you?

My wife left when he was two.

I already took a leave
of absence from work but
that ends next month.

Was Caleb been diagnosed with
an enlarged spleen?

That's common
with Niemann Pick. Why?

I'm seeing fluid and...

rupture can happen.

It seems so unfair that there
is a drug that could help Caleb

and he can't access it!

His entire childhood
is just... this.

I'm gonna get Caleb admitted

and will see where we are
with his spleen. Okay?

Fine!

We're gonna need access
to your security cameras.

That camera hasn't worked
in years.

Your own business
was robbed, sir.

Do you have anything that
you can tell us?

I wasn't there! Stan said
the guy was too far away to see.

Sir?

Do you have any water
or something?

Mr. Popavich? Wow, wow, wow.

Hey! Okay, let's get this guy
in a room.

Just this way.

Okay, just have a seat.

Just give us a minute?

How's my cousin?

We found the bullet and
we controlled the bleeding.

And now he's dealing
with a fever, so I guess
it's wait and see.

What about you, hm?
You almost fainted out there.

Nah. I just needed to get
away from that cop.

Right, 'cause your story's
bogus.

You know, the way the bullet
entered your cousin's abdomen

and in a downward direction,

It's kind of hard to do from
far away. Wouldn't you say ?

Tell me I'm wrong.

Okay.

There was no robbery.

Did you shoot Stanley, Leon?

- No! Stanley shot Stanley!
- What?!

You're trying to tell me that
idiot shot himself in the gut?

Do you have any idea how--
- Hey!

It was supposed to graze his arm
but the gun kicked!

We're under water financially
but we got insurance.

I lobbied against it
but Stan had this dumb idea

that if a robbery looked real--

You guys could get a payout.
Unbelievable.

Your blood pressure's fine.
- It shouldn't be,

cause I'm freaking out!

You gonna tell that cop?

Cause I heard doctors are like
lawyers with confidentiality!

You're right.
I can't say anything.

Stan's going to be mad
I told you.

Your first impressions
of the guy

obviously weren't ideal but...
We're family.

Well your family's
irresponsible choices

just made you an accomplice.
Okay?

So if I were you,
I would tell the cop the truth

and cut your cousin out
of your life.

I mean even if you're right,
I--

Would you do that if
you were me?

Why not? You really need
this messing on?

The EMDR light will pulse,

grounding Gurjeet
in the present,

that'll prompt him
to speak.

I'm surprised he agreed
so quickly

Gurjeet blames himself
for the death of Nadir,

it's affected every area
of his life.

He wants to move on
but the past won't let him.

- And this is how he does that?
- In my experience,

it's a safe way
to reprocess trauma.

With you invoking Nadir,

Gurjeet may better engage
with his reaction

to the traumatic experience.

Shouldn't I know more
about Nadir?

He was a local translator,
but the details matter less

than the emotional connection.

For Gurjeet to engage,
it has to get to a real place,

so whatever you feel
in the moment, don't bury it.

Imaging and blood work
look good.

Any headache, weakness, syncope?

Just some dizziness. Always
happens with anti-arrhythmics.

Dr. Fisher I wanted
to thank you.

You're my patient,
it's my job.

It's really important
for you to know how committed
I am to this residency.

And I've taken steps to ensure
it'll be here when you get back.

- How long were you thinking?
- Four months should do it.

- Four months!
For a pacemaker battery?
- And a valve repair.

But the intake phase
of the study will almost be
over by then.

And you'll go back into
the general cardiology pool.

Okay but I put together
a plan for managing study data
remotely,

and monitoring patients
over the phone and--
- Mags.

You came to me a week ago
very upset at how I was running
things.

Not to quit! To make it work!

By trying to change my process
to suit your own needs?

That was never going
to work for me.

I honestly thought
you'd be relieved.

Okay, if you don't want me
to be on the study,

I can do remote charts,
I can do dictation--

It's a full-time hands-on
job, you know this.

Rest up,

come back when
you're past this bump.

Someone will be in
to remove your IV, then
you can change and go.

What are you noticing?

Before now?

In the Humvee, you and I
are kidding around in Punjabi.

You were the only one who spoke
my language.

You tried to teach me a lot
of Dari but I learned nothing.

You don't remember that,
Nadir?

We pulled over.
Just an easy roadside stop.

Nadir got out, spoke to locals,
we ate.

Waiting for the green light
from the CO.

You know what drill
we're gonna do, Nadir?

No, I don't.

What's coming up now,
Gurjeet?

I'm scared.

When you asked me
what was wrong, I lied.

I knew the raid was gonna be
dangerous,

I just didn't want you to know
I was afraid,

it's like if I said how I felt
and it went bad,

it would all be my fault.

When we got to the house,
we sent you in first to get
the civilians out.

You were nervous but
I said it was gonna be okay,

and you trusted me.

I did.

There was a hidden IED
in the house.

You took the worst of it.

Could you see anything
before it went off?

You called out
for your Mom in Dari.

I know enough to know that.

Did you feel it, Nadir?
The explosion?

Not at first.

But after a minute.

It's all my fault!

I'd do anything to give
your future back!

You can't! Okay?
You can't!

I know.

- I'm sorry, I didn't mean to--
- Wait, wait.

Is there something you'd like
to say to Nadir?

I can't breathe.

Dr. Hamed!

Hematemesis.

The shrapnel's perforated
his esophagus.

He needs surgery right now.

- He hasn't consented--
- Go get help, now!

Hey, I'm sorry, is there
any way

that you could remove this IV
for me please?

Oh, you have
to wait your turn, ma'am.

I'm actually a doctor here,
I'd do it myself but it's just--

So just see the triage nurse,
he can help.

Are you sure-- Thank you.

Oh! Hey! Mags?
What are you doing?

I was supposed to wait but
I just-- I had to get out

of the gown and that... room
and I got dizzy and--

Can you please distract me by
complaining about Trauma OR

or Novak or Shay ?
- Yeah, I mean Shay's been gone

for like five days
and I haven't heard a word.

- That's a while.
- Yeah, I know right?

I mean she spent couple days
at a her friend

Kenzie's house last month
but they were doing some kind
technology cleanse.

Well, if she used to doing
that stuff why are you worried?

I don't know I think I might
have...

gotten with bargained with
this kid, you know?

I feel like I should be calling
a grown-up but also,

am I the grown-up?

- Well...
- I don't think I am
the grown-up.

Why is that bleeding so much?!

Blood thinners.

Heart condition, remember?

Right.

Who would've thought you'd be
the one with the bigger secret
of the two of us, huh?

How are you doing?
Yeah, don't answer that,

Bash is been keeping me
up to date.

Yeah, you should call
a grown-up.

I'll text you?

- Hey!
- Hey!

Leon Popavich said you were
sending him for tests?

I can't find him.
- He didn't need more tests.

- So you lost him?
- I didn't lose him.

He decided to leave,
that's not on me.

Uh, officer? Hi.

Um, how long should one
wait before reporting someone
missing?

- You--
- No, no, no, no.

It has nothing to do with
Leon or Stan.

Do you have a specific reason
to be worried about this person?

No. Uh, maybe...

She's like 19.
She's a college student.

A bit of a disaster
and normally she checks in

but she's been gone like five
days this time so--

Okay, If you think
she's in danger

or prone to doing something
reckless,

act sooner rather than later.
Okay?

Making incision
along the sternocleidomastoid.

Self retaining retractor.
Please, Claire.

Let get all the shrapnel out
and repair the esophagus.

Okay, this looks like
a difficult dissection.

It's probably why they left
the shrapnel in. Forceps please.

All veins and vessels,
one wrong move...

I can see the shrapnel.

Okay, got it

Pressure's dropping!

There is a tear in
the carotid. We need to clamp!

Clamping the carotid
risks stroke.

He's hemodynamically unstable.

Bleed's a higher priority!
Hang bags of blood, please.

I can't see.

You gonna have to feel for it.

Dr. Hamed?

Hold on. Okay, got it.
Clamp!

Pressure's holding

Bleed's under control.
Well done guys.

V-fib!

This guy is bound and
determined to let go, isn't he?

We're not going to let him!
Alright, Claire,

prep pads, 150 J!

- Charged!
- Clear!

Nothing. Try 200 joules!
Resuming compression.

Charged!

Clear!

Sinus rhythm.
Pressure's coming back up.

75/60.

Okay.

Let's remove
the other fragments

and finish up before
anything else happens.

He's gonna owe you his life,
Dr. Hamed.

I know there's a rule
about proper notice of
schedule changes

in our collective agreement.
- I like the shorter shifts.

Sweet summer child, you still
don't see the glory

of a four-day week.
- It's not just the shifts,
Nancy--

Care to fill me in?

Oh come one!
I'm still a nurse, guys.

And a managing NP
who reports up.

We were maxed out before
these policy changes,

not taking breaks,
barely keeping up with charting.

And now we're getting
yelled at for misquoting waits,

and having to chase down doctors
for treatment plans in advance.

Has anyone tried
talking to Devi?

You saw her earlier,
she sees it

but she's not doing anything.
This isn't working.

Look Claire, diplomacy was
fine when you had Bishop's ear,

but things are different now.
So are you with us?

When have I ever not been?

That time,
with the peach scrubs.

Or when we switched
the chart pile to the other
side of the desk.

Okay, just hold on.

Emergency.

Some guy forced his way
into the drug dispensary

demanding a specific drug.

Said you knew which one.

He scared the pharmacist.

He's pretty volatile.

He's sedated right now and
tolerating it well.

I know he wanted me
to let him die.

Without a DNR,
you had no choice.

Where we went in that
moment...

His body gave up,
it nearly killed him.

Are you blaming yourself for
his shrapnel breaking through?

How could his physical reaction
be your fault?

And where you went,
Gurjeet needed to go.

Will he be able
to go back there?

It's my job to try,
Dr. Hamed.

Look, things clearly
got personal for you too.

If you're scared to go back
with him, I'd understand.

Open it.

Just tell me
where you keep it!

We don't have that drug here.
And even if we did,

we can't give it to him--
- Then order it and I will!

I've learned how to do
IM injections,

how to position him
for seizures, do CPR.

I've done more for him
than anyone here and I will
do this too!

Look Avrum , I never should've
asked you to press Bergeron

without all the facts
- I need somewhere to put
my hope!

I know.
But this isn't the place

Then there's nowhere!
And Caleb is going to die!

But not today.
Look I know you're tired man,

but you can walk this back
before it escalates.

I'm no better than his mom.

There's this part of me
that wants to go to jail,

just so I can have a night off.

What kind of father am I?

One that's in an impossible
situation he doesn't deserve.

But I can help.

Caleb's spleen rupture
is graded low.

Which means he'll recover
without any surgery.

But we'll keep him here,
bear the load a few days.

I just need you to come out.

I'll be with you, every step.

Come one.

Okay

We're coming out!

We're okay!

Hey, no! What are you doing?
Let him go.

Mr. Pasternak,
you're under arrest.

Theo! Don't leave Caleb
alone please!

Look his kid sick, okay?
Where are you taking him?

Sorry, Theo,
we had to call it in.

Lou...

Kenzie? It's June Curtis.
Uh, Shay's... sister

Uh, now this is weird,

but she says she hangs
out here sometimes,

I was wondering
if she might be with you?

Of if maybe you know
where she is?

I was gonna come see you,
I just hadn't gotten around
to it yet.

- Is Cam here?
- No, I took an Uber.

And before you tell me that
that was a risk,

it obviously wasn't because
I survived.

And now you're cleaning out
your office for some reason?

Because I don't work
here anymore

Wait what?

I'm out of the study and
on a mandated four-month leave.

Okay, I can see why
that upsetting

but if your cardiologist thinks
that's a good idea--

She's taking the opportunity
to push me out!

Okay. If that's what
happening--s

- Yes, it is.
- I wasn't trying to...

We can find a way to fix it.

Here why don't you let me.
- No! Stop! Stop it!

- Stop what? Trying to help?
- No!

Stop looking at me like that!

Like I'm some breakable object
that you're afraid to touch!

See? Like that!
That's what I mean.

You won't fight with me!
I'm the same person!

I don't want to fight
with you Mags.

The people I care about
get hurt and--

Well, this isn't about you!

I've always hid this part
of myself.

And now that this happened
so publicly I can't do that
anymore.

I need space to be
the messed up one right now.

Okay.

- What the hell?
- Cardiac arrest.

Massive septic shock.

Bullet may've greased
an abscess.

On the gallbladder?

What if there was a pre-existing
infection.

Anyways, the full resus team
was here

and there's nothing
they could do.

Leon, I'm really sorry.

Where were you?
You told me to leave!

If I'd stayed,
maybe we could've caught it.

- No, no...
- This is your fault!

What? No.

He's on a recovery floor, there
are three dedicated nurses.

There's...

Thank you.

I can't believe
you didn't stand up for me,

I was the one who pointed out
the inflammation

and I wanted to prioritize
his gallbladder.

Even so, the cardiac arrest
took everybody by surprise.

What am I supposed to do,
pile on the guy? He just
lost a relative.

You know, the only reason
that he's even blaming me for
all of this

is because this is all part
of some stupid insurance scam

and he knows that I know.

So what!? How is that
your problem?

What are you so worked up about?

Well, either you're all over
me in Trauma OR

or not paging me down at all.
Is it some kind of punishment,

for how I handled Devi while
you were gone?

Wow. Uh, maybe.

Why, are your feelings hurt?

- Oh God.
- What happened to June Curtis

with the balls of steel?
- Don't do that!

No, no, no. Listen, listen.
We can use this melodrama

to solve both of our problems.

- No.
- Devi hates me.

- Yeah.
- You're annoyed with me.
So listen, listen,

let me finish. Go to her,
complain about me,

get it off your chest and
make her a friend.

Why would I do that?

Well, do you think
a guy like me is gonna
survive her politics?

And if I go,
what happens to you?

Listen, if you care at all
about the Trauma OR

that we hoped to build,

then we have to use
every check in our book.

Okay? Just think about it.

We gave him something
to sleep,

but he's been asking
for his dad.

What was he thinking?

That he's being punished
for his choices?

And if it's out
of his control anyways,

what does it matter if you take
your hands off the wheel?

What do you even say to that?

Well, the Theo you knew
when we were residents

would have told him everything
happens for a reason.

You don't believe that
anymore?

As soon as I stopped
punishing myself

for wanting out of my marriage,
that helicopter crashed.

So if I still believed that,

that would mean that crash
was meant to happen,

and that somehow...

You deserved it.

I can stay with him.

I cleared my schedule.

I wanted you to let me die.

I couldn't let that happened.

You can't put that on me,
Gurjeet

I'm putting that on me.

I did this to you.

Me and my war
you didn't ask for...

I don't want to carry
the weight of your past.

I don't want to be a victim.

Yours, or anyone else's.

Let me go.

Could you please stay until
I fall asleep?

Hey! Where the hell
have you been?

Tasha and I decided
to skip a few days of classes

and go camping
and my phone died.

I didn't even see your texts
until today. 26 messages,

June that's a new record
- I've barely slept!

Don't you think you could've
let me know?!

But June, I did. I left
a note on the desk at home.

Next to your charts
- Look, I went into your room,

and I found
your antidepressants.

And panicked?
Those pills are nothing new.

Okay but it would be nice
to know beforehand.

I was supposed to wear
my "I have depression" t-shirt
when I moved in?

No but this it's affecting
my work, Shay.

Okay? I'm a completely
different person,

I can't have that here.
- Are you asking me to leave?

No! No, I just...

Oh my God! You actually care,
don't you?

- Shay, don't do that.
- You do! Tell me I'm wrong.

Just...

Just don't do that again.

Okay. Well--

- Thanks.
- Are they gonna press charges?

"Public mischief,"

although my lawyer
says they could be talked into

dropping them down the line.

He also said you gave
a statement

which is one of the reasons
I've been released without bail.

I just told them the truth.

Thank you.

How's Caleb?

Asleep, and in good hands.

You should head home,
get some rest.

What I said earlier...

that's not really me.

We get punished for breaking
into drug lockers Avrum,

not for being human.

Oh Neeta, I won't be able to
make our sit down later today.

Well, we'll reschedule
for tomorrow.

Tomorrow, that's even worse
than today.

Okay. Um, you wanna propose
a time then?

Sure. I'll find out and
I get back to you.

Do we have a problem here,
Mark?

Not from where I'm standing.

It should go...

Dr. Leblanc?

- Hi.
- She's all better, Mama.

I came to find you Dr. Devi

but I found
this young doctor instead.

You want to go to
my desk and draw while I talk
to Dr. Leblanc?

Please.

How are you feeling, Mags?

Like I need a job.

Dr. Fisher said I could get back
to mine

when everything else is
behind me.

But you don't agree?

Well the thing is,
I'll recover from the episode

but it'll never be behind me,
not in any real way.

And even I've been in denial
about that.

So that's why I was kind
of hoping

that you would let me come back
to emerg.

I'm sure you've heard things
are kind in flux right now.

Yeah, I'm not denying
that I would need some kind of
accommodations but...

I believe in what you're doing

and I think you could use
a doctor who knows what
it's like to be a patient.

And also maybe an ally?

Are you sure you want to
make yourself that vulnerable?

No.

But I don't think I have
a choice.

Dr. Esfahani!

Hi there.

Quite a day.
- Yeah.

Uh, what you did with Gurjeet,
what we did,

I hated it.

Yet our day ends
as it began.

With you stalking me?

What I said to him
about not wanting to be
a victim anymore...

You're right.
It did get personal.

I know it did, Bashir.

So do you think you can
help me?

difuze