All language subtitles for The Bliss Of Mrs Blossom (1968)_RU_EN_Grampy [SubRipper.com].en

Yes,

that's where this case should've happened.

Not London.

They just don't understand
married women here.

I mean look at him, the
husband in the case,

Robert Blossom Esquire.

Nice man.

Mind you, not quite what he seems.

But then as any brassiere manufacturer.

Dedicated man.

"Financial Times" called him
the office of the undie world.

Takes all sorts, doesn't it?

And as for him, the other
man in the case, him.

Honestly, that's your
welfare state gone mad.

And how did it all start?

With a telephone call from
Robert's wife, Harriet.

She'd been at hone doing
some after-lunch sewing

when suddenly.

And out of all the
mechanics in the factory,

who should be sent over
to fix the machine?

Your friend, not mine:

him,

Ambrose Tuttle.

Mrs. Blossom?

_YeS?

- I'm the man from the factory
about the sewing machine.

- Oh yes. Come in.

- What seems to be the
trouble with it, Mrs. Blossom?

- I don't know.

The thread got itself all confused

and then the needle started chewing it up

and now it's all jammed.

- Wellington.

Haven't seen many of these about nowadays.

- It was my mother's.

She gave it to me.

I use it all the time.
I'm never without it.

- Might take a little
time to put it right.

Oh.

That was there.

There.

- Oh. It's complicated, isn't it?

- Mmh

Thank you.

- How long have you been at the factory?

'Bout two months.

- I've never seen you there.

- Oh, I saw you.

Every time you came to
the factory, I saw you.

There.

- I was about to make a cup of tea.

Would you like to have one?

- Oh yes, please.

- Cakes?

- Yes, thank you very much.

What you need is a new spindle.

- Have you got one?

- Oh yes. I've got one here.

- And I could do with a new
box stitch attachment too,

if you don't mind.

- I'll have a look.
- Thank you.

What's your name?

- Tuttle.

Ambrose Tuttle.

- Tuttle?

- Hmm.

It sounds quite different when you say it.

More foreign.

You from Liverpool?

- Ohio, Columbus.

- Ah.

I better be getting back to the factory.

You know, you're clocked in
and out like there's a war on.

- Oh, nonsense.

Come and talk with me.

I never have any visitors and
I'm so bored with housework.

How do you like it?

- How do I like what?

- Your tea.

- Uh, milk and sugar please, two lumps.

- Well come and sit down, Mr. Tuttle.

I'm not going to eat you.

- I really oughta be
getting back to the factory.

Thank you.
- Okay.

Nonsense.

Stay, relax. There's no hurry.

Have a homemade cake.

You're not afraid of Mr. Blossom, are you?

- Thank you. Oh yes, everybody is.

Thank you.
- Really?

Have another.

- Oh, thank you.

- I made them myself.

That's why they're so nice.

- Thank you.

- I'm sorry what I said about
Mr. Blossom a moment ago,

but you know, he gets raving mad at times.

- That's all right.

I know. I used to model for Mr. Blossom

before we were married.

He can be a bit of a tyrant.

- Oh yeah.

- But only at work.

- Oh yeah.

- Are you married, Mr. Tuttle?

- Couldn't afford it.

- Oh, well you live
with your parents then.

- I'm an orphan.

- No.

- Both sides.

- How awful.

- Never knew my father

and my motherjumped in front of a bus

when I was very young.

- Oh, that's terrible.

- S6.

Number of the bus, 36.

I was two at the time.

I've never known what it's
like to have a real home.

- I think you'd better
have another homemade cake,

Mr. Tuttle.

- Oh no, I couldn't do that.

- Please. Please have it.

- But it's the last one.

It's not polite.

- But I have plenty more.

Please eat it. Have another cake.

- Are you sure?

- Positive, please.
- Really?

Thank you very much.

Peek Frean.

When I was very young, Peek
Freans used to make biscuits.

Little animals in icing sugar,
all in different colors.

The elephant was my favorite.

Very much sticks in your mind.

Don't think they make them anymore.

Everything changes, doesn't it?

Please go on talkin'.

- You were talking.

- But I love the sound of your voice.

It reminds me of another voice I knew.

- Whose?

- My mother's.

- But you said she
jumped in front of a bus

when you were two.

- That's right.

- But you still remember
the sound of her voice.

- As clear as

clear.

- I think you'd best mend
the machine, Mr. Tuttle.

- Oh yes.

Can I help you?

- No, I'm fine.

Thank you.

- Don't you have a maid?

- Yes, me.

If I had one, I'd only be
cleaning up after her anyway.

- Can I ask you a question, Mrs. Blossom?

- I don't know. Ask me and see.

- How long have you been
married to Mr. Blossom?

- 12 years.

- Oh. That's a long time these days.

- Sometimes it seems long.

Robert spends so much time at the factory.

_ Who?

- Mr. Blossom.

And I'm here all day.

When we were working together,
thank you, it was different.

Do you miss it?

Miss what?

Working.

- Now and then.

Pink.

Housework, shopping.

One day's just like the other.

- Does Mr. Blossom play?

- No.

- Still I suppose when Mr.
Blossom does come home,

he's nice to you.

- Of course he's nice to me.

Blue.

He's always been very nice to me.

Better finish your work now, Mr. Tuttle.

- Thanks for the game.

- Mr. Blossom is a man of
many talents, you know.

There's a side to him

I'll bet none of you at
the factory are aware of.

Hmm?

- Did you know for instance
that he's a great musician?

- No.

No, I didn't know that.

- He is.

In his spare time,

he conducts all the great
symphony orchestras of the world.

- Well what's he wasting his time

manufacturing brassieres for?

- Because he's a genius.

They're acentric, you know.

- Don't you ever get jealous of him

with all those girls at the factory?

Oh, I beg your pardon?

I happen to know that my husband
would be safe with anyone.

- I suppose so.

- Have you ever seen him alone

with any of those young ladies?

- Oh, not really.

Only when I've been
passing his office window.

- Do you peek?

- Oh, you know when you're
passin', you can't help it.

Maybe you just see in.

- Do you see in when you peek?

- Oh, he's safe.

- How 'bout you?

Do you like girls, Mr. Tuttle?

- Me?
- Mm-hmm.

- Well I like lookin' at them.

Oh, excuse me.

Sorry.

But I'd never touch 'em.

- Why not?

Too scared.

- Mr. Tuttle, come here and sit down.

- O'er there?

- Yes.

Hold out your hands.

There.

Where do you live?

- Oh, different places.

Southwest London.

I usually get kicked
out because I'm behind.

- Behind what?

- With the rent.

This is the first steady job I've had

since I left the orphanage.

- Oh, I didn't realize you
grew up in an orphanage.

- Oh yeah.

- Oh.
- Orphanages and rooms.

I've never known what it's
like to have a bed of my own.

- Why, that's terrible.

But we have a bed we never use.

We don't need it any longer.

Would you like to have it?

You're welcome to it. Come.
- I couldn't. I couldn't.

- Oh, please come.

It's very nice. It's just this way.

- Oh, that's the kindest,
most generous thing

that's ever happened to me.

- You'll like it. It's in good condition.

It's old, but it's in good condition.

I couldn't accept it.

It wouldn't be proper.

- Oh, why not?

Maybe I'll
just have a look at it.

- It's just up here in the attic.

Oh, is it?

Follow me.

- How'd you manage to get it up here?

- It is only an old one, you see.

But you're welcome to it.

How you'll get it back to
your room, I don't know.

- Hey, did you see a
picture caught my neck?

It's just like the one I used to sleep in

when I was a little boy and
my mother used to tuck me in.

When there were animals on the biscuits

and the world you know,
seemed a kinder place.

- There is a lot of unkindness
in the world, isn't there?

- And loneliness.

- And sadness.

- And little boys, orphans like I was

you know, on both sides.

- Please Mr. Tuttle,
don't talk about that.

I can't bear thought of
those little children

with no one to look
after them on their own.

I had a little boy once.

His name was Billy, but
he died when he was three.

He had dark hair and
eyes almost like yours.

He would've been 11 on Thursday.

- Please don't cry, Mrs. Blossom.

Please don't cry. You're
beautiful when you smile.

You're an angel.

You're my mother all over again.

You even have the same hair.

- You remember her hair too?

- Voice and hair.

The two things I have
a fantastic memory for.

And you're so like her in
every way, so soft and warm.

I knew it the moment you
walked into the factory.

So beautiful and kind, I
wanted you to talk to me,

be kind to me and make me feel safe.

- Take your hand away, Mr. Tuttle.

- I don't think you even notice me.

I went home that night and I
had the most marvelous dream,

you were with me.

And it wasn't at all
like you were my mother.

- Please stop.

- We were in France,

in historical France.

And yQu?

You were a Great Lady and moi?

I was just a humble peasant.

Do you know you even let me kiss you?

- Ah, let 'em eat homemade cake.

- Harriet?

Harriet?

Strange.

Harriet.

Darling?

Harriet darling, I'm home.

Harriet.

Harriet?

Harriet.

Darling.

Harriet?

Harriet, where are you?

You all right?

I'm here, Robert.

- On.

Where on earth have you been?

Harriet?

- I'm here, dear.

- On.

Well, is anything. Do you know the time?

- Oh yes, dear. Sorry.

- Have you been to the doctor?

What's wrong? What's the matter with you?

- Why should I have been to the doctor?

- Well you don't look too well.

You're flush, your eyes are shining.

- Oh, Robert. I'm fine.

In fact, I've never
felt better in my life.

- Well what's the idea?

And I thought I am entitled.

I mean I come home.

There are no lights on,
no fire, no slippers,

no sherry, no sign of dinner and no wine.

Can you imagine what went through my mind?

I mean I thought perhaps
you've been taken ill

or run over, anything.

- I was just getting your supper, dear.

That's all.

- I'm having the cold lamb.

- Having what?

- The cold lamb.

- Lamb.

Oh, I'm sorry, but you can't.

- Why not?

- Because I ate it.

- Ate it? Whole leg of lamb?

- Well I was hungry.

- Darling, you've always refused

to eat the flesh of our animal brothers.

- Well, around tea
time I weakened.

And then I was terribly hungry, I ate it.

- Tea time? But that's three hours ago.

It's seven o'clock now.

- Oh, is it?

Oh, well I must've dozed off.

- Harriet.

Harriet, you know sometimes,

I really feel ljust don't
understand you at all.

Oh, Robert.

- On.

Robert, I've been so wicked.

- Oh darling.

- I can't ask your forgiveness.

I'm so ashamed.

I'm terribly sorry, but it
will never, never happen again.

- Oh darling, now really.

Really, it was only a
leg of lamb.

Oh really, darling.

Sometimes you really are so emotional.

Now you dry your eyes

and tell me what you
bought me for dinner. Hmm?

That's a good girl.

I hope it's something solid.

I'm conducting Tchaikovsky
tonight, remember.

- I remember.

- Yes.

Right. Well what is it then, steak?

- No.

- Chicken?

No.

Harriet, really.

All the shops were closed.

- Fish and chips with Romeo and Juliet.

- Pass the salt?

- No, no.

Sorry, gentlemen. Sorry, gentlemen.

My fault. My fault.

I didn't bring you in clean on the um...

Oh, it is getting rather late, gentlemen.

Let's go from two bars before 5:1o.

- Bravo, Robert.

Bravo.

You were magnificent tonight.

Oh, you do get such comfort
from your music. Don't you?

- Yes, I suppose I do.

- I should think you'd
rather have been a musician

than a brassiere manufacturer.

- Oh no, Harriet.

Brassieres are very important,

much more important than people think.

You know, I even believe
they could be of.

I was gonna say of global importance.

Ifl had money, ifl really had money,

you know what I'd do?

- What would you do?

- What was that?

- What was what?

- Well I thought I heard a noise.

- Oh no, dear. You're just tired.

Now run onto bed and I'll lock
up and put out the lights.

- Oh, very well.

I could've sworn I heard something.

- Sorry about that.

Why haven't you gone?

Now listen, I've left
the kitchen window open.

I want you out of here by morning.

Do you hear me?

I want you out of here by morning.

Shan't be a minute, darling.

Just brushing my teeth.
- Oh, that's all right.

Take your time, dear. Take your time.

- But you said you wanted me out.

- Out? Out where?

I never said any such thing.

- Darling, I distinctly heard you say

you wanted me out and
by morning.

- Robert, how many times must I remind you

to replace the toothpaste cap?

Messy, messy.

You're tired now, dear.

On to bed. On to bed.

Robert, don't go to
the office today, dear.

- What you talking about, Harriet?

I got that chappy from the mail

coming to photograph the mini bras.

They can
look after themselves.

Please stay.

- That's not possible, dear.

I'll phone you as usual just
as I'm leaving the office.

- Oh, just once?

- Darling, now don't be silly.

Have a good day.

- Bye darling.

- Just a minute, sir.

Could we have word with you inside?

- It was delicious.

Good morning, Mrs. Blossom.

- I thought you'd gone.

- I overslept.

- You were supposed to
take this home to eat it.

- Darling?

Harriet?

- Coming.

- Ah, she'll be right down.

Oh, darling.

- Yes.
- My wife.

This is Detective Sergeant Dylan.

- Detective.

- How do you do?

Oh, sorry. How do you do, sir?

- Mmm, somebody's got a great big doggie.

- I was just about to make some soup.

- We pulled up just in time

to catch your hubby emerging.

- Mr. Dylan just wants
to ask us a few questions

about that young chap Tuttle.

- Tuttle.
- Yes, Tuttle.

What time did he leave here yesterday?

_ Who?

- Ambrose Tuttle.

Please think carefully and answer slowly.

They only do longhand.

- Ambrose Tuttle?

- Yes, darling.

You know, the young chap I sent over

to mend your sewing machine.

He never came back to the factory

and those tools are very valuable.

- No. Well he never arrived here.

- There. You see?

I told you.

He just ran off with the tools.

- Tinker.

Never arrived. Well well well.

One of the great unsolved
mysteries of our time.

Riddlemeree in SW3.

At two o'clock yesterday afternoon,

a young man answering Tuttle's description

got off his green, brown
and yellow motorbike

and asked the grocer on
the corner where you lived.

There's no number on your front, you see.

Look at me telling you that.

Anyway, that was 30 yards
away across the street

and you say he never arrived.

That's correct.

Brilliant thought.

Perhaps he knocked and
you didn't hear him.

- Oh, I'd have heard him.

- But darling, you did say you dozed off.

- That was after.

- After what?

After 4:00.

- I hate anything mysterious.

I mean if he wanted to
run away with your tools,

why would he ask the
grocer where you lived?

I think you
policemen are wonderful.

- Really, Harriet?

- You've got me all churning it over now.

Never returned to his lodgings, you see.

I checked.

You should see his room:

all teach yourself books
and empty crisp packets.

How can people live like that?

Oh, I've really got my
teeth into this one.

I've got my petty up.

So Mrs. Blossom, your
machine is still wonky.

- Well I managed to fix it myself.

- Fancy.

- Bravo, darling.

Well you see, Mr. Dylan,

my wife's an extraordinary clever woman.

Wives are
getting cleverer all the time.

Aren't they?

Well.

Goodbye, Mr. Blossom.
- Goodbye, goodbye, goodbye.

- We'll be in touch.

- Sure.

Darling, phone Miss Reece, will you?

Tell her I'm on my way.

They'll be going mad.

Bye. Bye.

- We'll find him, Mr.
Blossom, and your tools.

These fellows, they always slip up.

Tiny details.

Railway ticket, lock of
hair, that sort of thing.

There'll be a clue and I'm
really quite good at clues.

- Oh, I'm sure. Thank you.

- Bye-bye, sir.

- Right. You up there, out.

Did you hear me, Mr. Tuttle?

Ooh!

- Like it, Harriet?

- Love it, Robert.

- Now think slowly and answer carefully.

This was mailed from here three days ago.

You don't recall anything of the sender.

- Only that she was female.

That's all.

I think.

- Was she alone when she posted it?

- I think so.

I'm not sure.

Excuse me.

Thank you very much.

- Oh, Burnham-on-Sea.

I used to live there.

- Could you describe this woman?

- About 60, gray hair, well-dressed,
quite an expensive fur.

Her name is Mrs. Emily Briggs.

- Not that woman.

The one that posted the parcel.

- Brown hair?

- Yes.

- Blue eyes?
- Yes.

- Youngish?
- Yes.

- I don't know.

- Gotta love these eyewitness accounts.

- Yes.

Yes, I think I would.

Definitely.

Very pretty she was.

Very pretty.

Ta, very much.

- George? George.

You got the pattern of the groove

on the counter on your face.

- I think.

- Continuing my investigations,

I'm proceeding to the
house of the Blossoms.

Ah so?

- Not a Japanese geisha bar, sweetie.

Haskell Lane off Putney Hill.

Roger, out and

sayonara.

- Oh good morning, Sergeant.

- Good morning, Mr. Blossom.

- Good morning.
- Good morning.

- Good morning.

- Brought me good news I hope.

Well come on in, Sergeant.

Come on in.

Well now, what does bring
you here again today?

- Dying to tell you.

Dramatic new developments
and missing tools mystery.

- Oh yes, of course.

They were posted back to
the factory, weren't they?

- So much for my big news.

- Anyway, the young lad
didn't steal 'em and I'm glad.

- That's very nice of you
to look at it that way.

Sweet.

Johnson.

- Parcel Post express delivery mail

from Main Street post office
last Tuesday by a woman,

an attractive woman with brown
hair and blue eyes, pretty.

- Darling.

- Oh.
- Good morning Mrs. Blossom.

- Good morning

- He didn't have a mother.

- Mm-hmm.

- Poor duck.

Could've been a girlfriend,
of course, or an auntie,

depending on his tastes.

- Yes. Well I'm damn
relieved it's all over.

I must press on.

Now you can see yourselves out, can't you?

- She did mend her sewing
machine beautifully, didn't she?

She can come and mend mine anytime.

Adrian.

- Well I must be off.

Do try and find those
pajamas and dressing gown.

There it is again.

- There's what again?

- Oh, nothing.

I'll phone you as usual
as I'm leaving the office.

- Yes, darling.

Have a good day, dear.

Bye.
- Bye-bye.

- Breakfast in three minutes, dear.

on!

There aren't any razor blades.

Really?

- I'm sorry we don't
have any razor blades,

but I'll buy some when I'm out this...

Robert.

- I didn't say anything
about razor blades.

I just came.

Did I?

Well I'll get some, dear, when I go out.

- On, right.

I'll phone you as usual when I'm leaving.

- Bye dear.

- Have nice day, dear.

- Thank you.

- Can we show him in, mystery of Lynn?

You may approach, Mr. Blossom.

Come, come.

That's fine. Nowjust hold it there.

Lovely. Now according to your
doctor, what have I got here?

Let's see, hearing noises,
voices, losing household objects.

Now about these objects that you've lost

OI"

mislaid.

_a box of cigars, theater
pajamas, a gray sports jacket,

a dressing gown.

- And two dozen bottles of vintage wine.

- This is fabulous.

What does your wife say about this?

- Oh, well she says I'm imagining things.

But I mean how can you
imagine a dressing gown?

- A dressing gown is very
significant, Mr. Blossom.

It's all here, you know?

And it's right on the
nail right here. Recorded.

I love technology.

Yes, I said that on
"Frontiers of Science".

- Doctor?

Television's
world of science.

- Doctor, I can't see you.

- I'm beside you at all times, Bobby.

You're not lost now.

I'm with you from now on.

Except of course, when I'm on television.

As I said then, don't gimme all this crap.

That's what I said.

I agree, there's more to love than sex.

But this is the best part.

There's also more to sex than love.

Are you with me, Bobby?

- I'm afraid I don't even
begin to understand you.

- You're sparring with me.

- I have told you everything I know.

I'm hearing noises, I keep losing things

and I have this constant insomnia.

- Well insomnia's nothing
to lose sleep about.

Out in the open, man, how's
the physical relationship?

- The what?

- The physical relationship.

Come on, man.

- Well I'm afraid I don't
quite know what you mean.

- The bedroom, Bobby.

The wife, frequency ratio, state of play.

- I say, my dear doctor,
I've been married 12 years.

- So I'm talkin' about
your love life, man.

Oh trust me, Bobby.

I want you to lay it on the table.

Come on now. How's the old sex drive?

In neutral, eh?

- Well after 12 years, I mean
isn't that to be expected?

- Have you noticed how you
always answered a question

with another question?

- Do I?
- You just did it again.

Didn't you?

- Did I?
- You just did it again.

- I did.

- Yes, it's quite a hang
up you got there, Bobby.

But let's talk about this sexual vacuum.

It's something that
nature abhors, you know.

Whenever the sex urge is displaced,

nature always substitutes something.

Sometimes it's no more than
a slight nervous disorder.

But in your case,

crack up.

But not to worry, Bobby.

You cooperate with me

and I promise we will soon
have you back to horizontal.

- Oh, Doctor.

I really do think you're on
the wrong track, you know.

- It'll take time, of course.

A year or two years.

_ A year?

I couldn't possibly take that.

I'm sure I couldn't really.

- Fight me like this.

Fight me. That's what I want from you.

Don't want it. I demand that
ya fight and gimme aggression.

That's the only way we'll
get anywhere, Bobby.

Oh, you wait 'til you fall
in love with me.

- Two eggs or three?

- Two, please.

It's five to 10:00.

You know, there's an awful
lot of talk these days

about happiness.

But what is it?

Of what does happiness rarely consist?

The jolly good lot of us
say, "Why, man. It's kicks.

Groovy, kinky capers."

Yes, we're all familiar
with the current slang.

But when we look inside ourselves,

I mean deep inside right
down into the places

where pop music doesn't reach,

don't we perhaps find we're
covering up something?

Something called wrongdoing.

Or to come right out with it, sin.

Honest engine now,

suppose we flippin' well know
that our so-ca/led happiness

is causing damage to the community

or to the sacred institution of marriage.

What then?

Shouldn't we then as our
teenagers say, "Hang on a jiff",

and ask ourselves what are we doing?

Where are we going?

- Where are we going?

I didn't even have any breakfast.

- You're going away.

- But where will I go?

You're going
back where you came from.

But I didn't come
from anywhere. I'm an orphan.

- Can't you see that it's wrong?

Robert's going to a psychiatrist.

How can anyone?

You're depraved, you know?

How can a normal human
being live in an attic

for two whole months?

- But I didn't mind. I rather enjoyed it.

Oh, I could've done with a bigger bath,

but I'm not complaining.

Oh, look at that.

Hey, that's offside, ref.

What's the matter with ya?

- You are depraved.

How did I get myself in this situation?

I have a perfectly good
husband: kind, sweet, generous

and I'm deceiving him spending his money.

He's worth 1O of you, you know?

- Well, but I've never denied it.

- Well that's why it's got to finish.

It's over, Mr. Tuttle.

Happiness is more than just feeling good.

There's right and there's wrong.

Bye.

- Look on my face.

My name is might've been.

Ijust want you to know
it's been wonderful.

- It has for me too, but I-

- Yes, I know.

But if we have to call a halt,

let's do it while the memory is still-

- Golden.

Goodbye Mr. Tuttle.

- Farewell, my lovely.

- A souffle should be
served the moment it rises.

Ooh!

Oh.

Mr. Tuttle.

- Mrs. Blossom.

- You see, she really needs
something to occupy her time.

I mean before we were married,

she used to live such an active life.

Now.

- Well I can't think of anything

that would give her more comfort

than Patriarch Royal Champ Emperor Ill.

H_im. _

- Oh, well it seems rather a lot of names

for a small amount of dog.

I mean do you think he'd mind terribly

if I just called him Dinky?

- Dinky?

- Well yes, I once had a dog called Dinky

when I was a small boy.

I mean it is easier and quicker, isn't it?

Calling him in at night and so on.

- As you prefer.

- I have an account.

Oh, we'll need your name, sir.

For breeding purposes.

- If we come across a suitable bitch.

- Yes, of course.

Thank you very much.

Well he will certainly
be company for my wife.

No more being at home all day alone.

Be rather a change for her to
have a man about the house.

Yes.

- Come along, Dinky.

We'll have all day at the office
to get to know each other.

Seems very friendly.

- He takes to everyone.

' Bye bye.

- And takes a piece out of everyone.

- Come on, Dinky.

Come on, come on, come on.

In the lift.

That's a boy.

Attaboy.

Dinky!

I onlyjust bought him.

Harriet?

_ Hmm?

- How 'bout putting Dinky in the attic

just in case there's a rat up there?

- Tomorrow, dear. I'm tired.

- Well he could sleep in
here on the end of the bed.

- What for?

- Oh, watchdog.

- What's to watch, dear?

- Shh.

Hello little doggie.

Shh.

Come on.

I bet we're hungry.

Follow me.

Slow, slow.

Quick, quick, slow.

Slow, slow, slow.

Quick, quick, slow, slow.

Quick, quick, slow.

How would you like a nice jump?

- There's a burglar in the kitchen.

- Oh, don't be ridiculous.

- I distinctly heard somebody.

- Well wait, let me go.

You're tired.

Get up-

Get up!

- Oh, don't fight.

No, don't.

Pretty scared now.

Oh, not you again.

- Ha! Beatnik.

Thrill-hungry teenager.

- Well, build us more
playin' field, Whiskers.

- You wanna be horsewhipped?

Come back here!

I haven't finished with you yet.

Just as well, I haven't
forgotten my.

Dinky!

No!

- Hello.

How'd you find me?

- Dinky.

- Do you hear what he called me?

_ Who?

- Robert.

Thrill-hungry teenager.

Come back.

He hasn't finished with me yet.

If he hadn't have been your husband,

I'd have hung one on him.

- He was just worried and just tired.

- It's not very nice though, is it?

Thrown out of your own home.

It's all that dog's fault.

Mrs. Blossom, one of us has to go.

- Goodnight Mrs. Blossom.

Get some sleep.

- Goodnight Mr. Tuttle

- See you at breakfast.

Two eggs.

All right then.

You can stay

as long as you don't snore.

Ding dong merrily on high

In heav'n the bells are ringing

Ding dong verily the sky

ls riv'n with angels singing

Guacamoles con tacos.

- Gracias.

- Oh, de nada.

I had to make something special.

After all it is our third anniversary.

Now.

- Three years ago today to this very hour,

you came through the door.

- And all I've lived for from that day

is the sound of you coming
through the trap door.

- Happy anniversary, darling.

- And you, my dove.

- Senor Tuttle, you still
say the most charming things.

- Suddenly I had the
most terrible thought.

- What?

- Suppose you left me for another man.

- Oh, don't be silly.

There'd never be another man

because I'd never leave either one of you.

- Yeah, I didn't like the sound

of Robert's cough this morning.

- Nor I.

I gave him the cough
medicine you made up for him.

He took it to the factory.

- You make sure that he
takes it three times a day.

You know, teach yourself home nursing

is most insistent on that point.

We wouldn't wanna lose him, would we?

- No, you've grown very
attached to Robert. Haven't you?

- He's the finest man I've ever known.

- It's all so sweet.

- And you know, I live an ideal existence.

Plenty of time to teach
myself new skills and hobbies,

no boring conversations with people

that I don't wish to speak to,

a delightful female companion

only a hop, skip and a jump away.

And the comforting knowledge
that when I'm not with her,

she's in the care of a
good and devoted husband.

- The damned spanners
don't fit the damn nuts,

so do try and help please.

And another thing: look, the
thread's completely gone.

You really must try and
do something, fellas.

The whole production line's held up.

- What passes, woman?

what's the matter, darling?

Well something must be wrong.

Why are you crying?

- Because it's given to
very few women in life

to make even one man happy.

But I'm making two men happy

and I'm makin' myself
ecstatic at the same time.

And it must be wrong and must be wicked

because we're enjoying ourselves so much.

I wish Robert were here.

- Vivian, pull up here.

Right.

Let's hit them.

Uh-huh.

3:00 p.m. of the Tuesday.

- Wednesday.
- Wednesday.

Bright sunlight.

But all the curtains drawn.

Make a note of that.

- Right, but you got my pencil!

Aren't you goin' to introduce me

to your friend, Mrs. Blossom?

- Yes, right.

My cousin Senor Jose
Cordova from Guacamole.

Mexico, you know him?

- Well if we don't, we can
always look it up. Can't we?

Hello.

He doesn't speak English.

- Si.

- Riot of color, isn't he?

- Yes, he always wears his native costume.

He's uncomfortable any other way.

He's come stay for a few days.

- Mm-hmm.

- Spurs and all.

Living here, is he?

- Here? Don't be silly.

Where would we put him here?

- Hmm, that is the point.

Isn't it?

Well sorry to have burst
in all Dylan of the yard,

but we saw the curtains drawn
and thought someone might've

passed away.

- The curtains were drawn
because the carpets are new.

The sun, you know?

- Gorgeous.

But then there's always
something new in your house,

isn't there?

- What did he say?

- He says you're an
extremely impressive man.

- Gracias, I'm sure.

Goodbye Mrs. Blossom and take care.

And

manana to you, Senor.

And the band played.

Believe it if you like.

- Oh, for god's sake. Push, Kenneth.

Oh Lord. Give me strength.

- When I order green,

I mean green.

Bluey-green do?

- No, bluey-green will not do!

They'll just have to re-dye it.

Where's Miss Reece?

- Oh, she's dealing
with the fire inspector.

- Fire inspector?

- Oh, he's arrived to
check the sprinkler system.

- Sprinkler system now with water?

- Oh yes.

- But there's 10,000 pounds
worth of goods on that floor.

- Mr. Blossom, brother, sir.

The union is still very dissatisfied

about the demarcation dispute

and the brothers are getting worried

over the time and a half element involved

concerning the overtime
problem existing there

of as a direct result of the-

- Could you possibly
please discuss it with me

at some other time?

My wife is about to have
her first exhibition

and I really must try get
to the gallery on time.

- As your agent, Mrs. Blossom,

I must say that that
painting is a miracle,

a very similitude.

It's once funny and compassionate.

I can't find word to describe it.

- Do you really like it?

- Oh, it's absolutely bloody marvelous.

I'm gonna buy it for ya.

- On.

Mr. Tuttle, what are you doing here?

- I just had to be here.

Your first exhibition, I had to be here.

- Oh no, here. Please.

- I had to stretch my legs and
I'm gonna buy that for you.

The way you've caught
that. It's fantastic.

Harriet, I had to be here.

- Thank you.

Where will we put it?

- Oh, on the north wall.

- Thank you.

- Oh, Robert.

I was afraid you wouldn't make it.

- No, darling. Well of course I'd make it.

I wouldn't have missed it.

I've gotta get back to the factory though.

All sorts of crises, you know?

Well have you sold any?

- Eight.

- Eight?
- Yes.

- That's wonderful.

- This painting.

- That painting, darling.

It's a miracle, a very similitude.

It's once funny and compassionate.

- Well where do we start?

- I think over there.

- Oh, darling. Me.

- Mm-hmm.

- Oh, sold.
- Yes.

- Oh, what a pity.

I wanted to give me to you.

- Oh, nevermind then.

- Well do you happen
to know who bought it?

- No, I don't. I don't have any idea.

- Well darling, let's find out.

There must be somebody who can help us.

Oh, do you happen to know-

- Mr. Wainwright. My husband, Mr. Blossom.

- How do you do, sir?
- How do you do?

- It's great to meet you.

- Thank you.
- You're wonderful.

You've got a marvelous and
charming and talented wife.

Thank you.
- Thank you very much.

Do you happen to know
who bought that painting?

- I'm afraid so.

The buyer that wishes to
remain anonymous.

Wild horses.

- Well could you perhaps tell him or her

that I'd very much like to have it?

It means a great deal to me.

- Finally to meet you, sir.
- Thank you very much.

Very talented.

Wonderful first day. Terrific, absolutely.

Oh, darling. Who's that?

- That's my cousin.

- Cousin? Which cousin?

- The one from Mexico.

- I didn't know you had
a cousin from Mexico.

Do you like it?

- I do. Yes.

Well I mean he's got a lot of character.

Oh, wait a minute.

I recognize him.

- Oh, him?
- Yes.

- Yes.

Dinky.
- Yes.

I did him from memory too.

- Poor Dinky.

Funny how he just disappeared.

Mm-hmm.

- Come along.

Yes, I'll deal with the debt.

- Mr. Blossom?

As a direct result of wearin'
one of your twin-thrust bras,

my daughter's got dermatitis
all over her upper chest.

- All over her what?

- Upper chest.

- I say, I'm most frightfully sorry.

You'll have to see my
public relations officer,

Mr. Harcastle.

- Mr. Blossom, sir.

The bank's been on twice already today.

Mr. Angus said we'd promise to do

something about the overdraft on the loan

and he must give his head
office an answer by two o'clock.

- Stall him, Miss Reece.
You'll have to stall him.

- But we can't, Mr. Blossom.

What was that?

What was what?

I thought I heard a noise.

You're just tired.

Sworn I heard something.

I want you
out of here by morning.

Do you hear me?

I want you out of here.

There it is again.

There's what again?

I'm hearing noises.

I keep losing things and I
have this constant insomnia.

Doctor?

Doctor, I can't see you.

Beside
you at all times, Bobby.

You're not lost now.

- Sir.

- He'll be all right, Mrs. Blossom.

- Maybe he won't and it's all my fault.

- Our fault.

All that money we've been spending.

- And on ourselves while
he's had to work for it.

- We've got to do something for him.

How is the pain?

- Not too bad.

- You've been overdoin'
somethin', Mr. Blossom.

- Yes. And I know what.

You've been taking me
too literally, Bobby.

Chocolates.

- Oh, I'm sorry.

Mr. Craig, Dr. Taylor.

- Hi there.

'Fraid our friend has been
going from one extreme to,

if you get my drift, the other.

Bit of over enthusiasm, I'm afraid.

Still. I said it all on meeting point.

You've seen me on television.

Ah.

Well I said their excess can
be a big a drag as chastity.

- No, no. That's not what caused it.

- I've seen it, Bobby.

Oh, they both have, of course.

It's one thing recharging the batteries,

it's quite another blowing your fuse.

- Money capital. That's what he needs.

Shrewd investments.

Thank you.

A broad-based portfolio of secured assets.

- Let this be a lesson to you.

There's more to life than business,

more important things than
turnin' out brassieres.

- Ah but for me, Harry,

brassieres have never
just been a business.

I've always been working towards

well you might call it a dream.

Pretty impossible dream

the way my finances are at the moment.

But I've always thought that if

well perhaps one day I might make

a Blossom brassiere that
could benefit the world.

- May I see him?

- Yes, but just for a few
minutes now, Mrs. Blossom.

- Darling.

- Oh darling.

I'm so sorry for all this.

- Oh, don't be silly.

- If there's one thing

more ludicrous than a
brassiere manufacturer,

it's a failed brassiere manufacturer.

- Don't say that.

Things will improve now, I promise you.

I promise you that.

You mustn't reproach yourself, darling.

- Oh, but I do.

All the things that you've done.

You've learned how to cook
all those exotic meals,

souffles, those Mexican dishes.

I mean everything.

The whole home has an
atmosphere of togetherness

all because of you.

- But you've contributed too.

- No, not really.

It's you that's doing it all.

But don't think I haven't noticed.

- Noticed what?

- Sometimes you look so exhausted.

- on.

But I'm haPPV-

- I mean we never entertain.

We never go out anywhere.
Life's dull because I'm dull.

I mean I'm always involved in work

just tryin' to keep the
business on its feet.

- Oh, that's just what we're
gonna make easier, darling.

That's just it, you and
me together, the two of us

with a little help from the one above.

- I would say Alice Springs Petroleum.

- Who were you phoning, darling?

- A gentlemen who bought
one of my paintings.

He's in the stock exchange now.

He's got a tip.

Alice Springs Petroleum, he says buy.

- Is he to be trusted?

- I trust him with everything I've got.

- Matter Billy-Diamond Mines.

- Matter Billy?
- Matter Billy.

- Matter Billy.

Beulah, put Mr. Blossom
down 5,000 Matter Billy.

- Buy Empire Airlines right away.

- Empire Airlines.

- And offer them cash.

- Of course, sir.

- I'm on my way, Dr. Zimmerman.

Well Miss Reece, today is B-Day.

Blossom Day, of course.

- Good morning, Mr. Blossom.

- Good morning, Miss Hunter.

- Thank you.

Doctor.

And they said it couldn't be done.

They said it was flying in
the face of nature itself.

- Science acknowledges no barriers.

- Not after day, my friend.

But you are sure it
really does work, does it?

- Perfect. We've tested it.

- On a human being.

- Dr. Krunhauser.

- Bravo, bravo.

All right?

- Nothing in the world has
ever felt quite so right.

- Really?

I wonder if I may

just once.

Oh.

Yes.

- You've met the wife.

- The world will long remember

what we have brought here this day.

I think I'm beginning

To fall in love with you

I've just got the feeling

There's nothin' I can do

I think I'm beginning to fall in love

- Down periscopes.

Do you know how much

Whenever you're away

I long to hold you and kiss you

Every night and day

And I know

Yes, I know in my heart

I'm beginning to fall in love

Yes, in love

I think I'm beginning

To fall in love with you

I've just got the feeling

There's nothin' I can do

I think I'm beginning to fall in love

- Good evening, madam.

Have you got an invitation?

What I mean is are you with anybody?

- Yes, I'm with those two gentlemen there.

You done this before, Bobby.

- Only in the mess, you know.

One.

Two, three, four.

- Whoa, steady.

Five, six, seven.

Eight.

- What do you think you're doing here?

Get upstairs in the
attic where you belong.

It is ridiculous please.

- It was lonely up there.

- What was that?
- How do you do?

- To you, my darling.

Surprised, huh?

- I'm surprised.

- Oh, I'm so sorry.

This is Mr. Farr, isn't it?

- Fi. Jimson Fi.

Forjust television commercials.

- Commercials?
- Commercials.

- Oh, this is my wife, Harriet.

- Oh really?
- Yes.

- How do you do? Love your house.

Love it, love it, love it.

- I'm so sorry.

Could I borrow my husband for a moment?

- Love to shoot here sometime. That's all.

- It's tremendous fun, isn't it?

We ought to do it more
often, you know darling?

- You are pleased, aren't you?

- Yes, of course I'm pleased, Robert.

But what's it all about?

What's it in aid of?

- Oh, we're celebrating.

- Celebrating what?

- Financial independence.

The dream of a lifetime
about to come true.

- Well when you talk like that, Bob.

I could listen to you all night.

Love, love, love is a wonderful game

Mother Nature taught us to play

Yeah

Oh boys and girls aren't
made quite the same

Vive la difference

Let's live for love

Let's give everything for love

Let's live for love

For love is the only way to live

Will young love spring

That's how it should always be

Let's live for love

- Goodnight.

Goodnight everybody.

Goodnight.

Goodnight everybody!

Goodnight.

Goodnight.
- Goodnight.

Thank you so much.

- Mr. Farr.

Run upstairs, Mr. Farr.

Keeps here on the right here first.

- Thank you both for a lovely evening.

- Pleasure, my dear fellow.

One for the road.

- I love you.

You're not driving.

- He really must go, Robert.

Yes, you must.

- Must l?
- Yes.

- Right. Well I'll let you get him out.

See yourself out.

The mall's down the hall.

- Thank you.

- Thanks for coming.

Safe home. Don't enter the
box till the exit's clear.

Be good. And if you can't be good,

do anything I wouldn't do.

Jolly good.

- Oh, this isn't like him.

Robert, please.

Please come and help me
get him into the room.

Ah.

- Please take him.

- Look at him sleeping like a little baby.

- Mr. Tuttle, wake up and
get to bed immediately.

- Give us a kiss.
- No.

- You know, I like him.

We've got a lot in common.

- Yes, I know, Mr. Tuttle.

UP YOu go.

- On.

Hey, you didn't tell me you
had the key all the time.

After you, madam.

- No, I won't bother to come up.

I'll just say goodnight here.

- Thank you for bringin' me home.

- Goodnight.
- Goodnight.

- Goodnight.

- You know, I like him.

- Me too.

For he's a jolly good fellow

- A dream of a lifetime
about to come true.

- Yes, dear.

Good morning
to you and you and you

on this happening day.

And here is Dan Henry's latest wax scene.

An oldie but a goodie
rising fast in the charts.

Here's the latest time check
for all you good people.

It's 8:30 a.m. on Friday the 13th of May.

- Friday?

What happened to Thursday?

Don't hang up. I'm comin'.

Hold on.

Hello.

Oh, Mrs. Blossom.

Where are you?

- Ethiopia.

Well of course I'm with Robert.

It's that idea of his, his dream.

- Dream? What dream?

- You know, the dream
he's always been dreaming.

Well now he's got the
money, he's doing it.

Mr. Tuttle, I'm trying to
explain, but it's so complicated.

He has the heads of every one

of the underdeveloped
countries in the world here.

- No, no, no, no, no, my friends.

No, not sell 'em to your country.

Give them, donate them
as my contribution.

- Well he calls it the universal brassiere

and he had it developed
at his research laboratory

and he wants to give it to
every one of the poorer nations.

- But they used to say that
civilization followed the flag.

I firmly believe with all my heart

that civilization follows the brassiere.

- Mrs. Blossom, where
are you going to next?

_ l-lQng Kong.

- He may be right, darling.

He may be right.

Just think of it, 600 million over there.

- 750 million.

- 750. Well if we could
only persuade them.

I mean listen, "lt is not hard
for one to do a bit of good.

What is hard is to do good all one's life

and never do anything bad."

- Mr. Blossom, we must go.

- Right.

She'll just take me to the car

and then come right
back to look after you.

I'll get him to autograph it for you.

Bye dear.
- Be careful.

Oh, excuse me.

- Waiter.

_YeS?

Is he mad? Who's his friend?

- I don't know, but she'll
be back here any moment.

And he's not mad, that's just the problem.

Because whenever he explains
all of this in detail,

it makes sense and it just
might benefit the world.

- What shall it profit man

if he gain world and lose own attic?

- It's just what's gonna
happen to us too, Mr. Tuttle,

straight after the convention.

- Convention?

- Yes, the international convention.

And right after that,

we're going to live at the
world headquarters in Geneva.

- We can't live in Geneva,
Mrs. Blossom, sweetheart.

Have you seen photographs of the place?

- Yes, I have. I know
all flat rooftops there.

- Yes, yes.
- But what are we gonna do?

I've seen this brassiere
of his and it works.

- Do you happen to have
one around anywhere?

- Yes, I'm wearing one.

- Oh.
- Yes.

- Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you. Thank you, my friends.

Thank you very much.

Your excellencies,

my lords.

Iadies,

dear ladies and gentlemen.

In the beginning

was the brassiere.

- That's three dozen Blossom
brassieres, you know?

That's the last consignment, Squire.

Can I have your signature please?

You know.

All right?

- Just there?
- Yeah.

Thanks a lot.

- There ya are then.

- But let us never forget

the only really underprivileged
group of mankind

is woman

kind.

- Girls, girls, girls. Aren't you ready?

Mr. Blossom's already started his speech.

- It's not our fault. We were held up.

- The man's already
just delivered the bras.

- Sorry, ladies. Just a
slight technical itch.

- Well come on. Hustle, all of you.

- It's from her brassiere

that your roads, your schools,

your hospitals, your social services

and your plumbing sanitation will flow.

What has the world been
seeking all these years?

A brassiere that will fit any woman

anywhere

at any time.

Citizens of the world,

I give you here below me

the universal brassiere.

A touch of this button,
ladies and gentlemen,

liberates into the twin cups
a unique gaseous substance.

Automatically and immediately,

the material then adjust itself
to the shape of its wearer

and grows

onward,

outward

and upward to whatever shape,

size

or conformation she desires.

So now, my friends,

may we have a truly international welcome

for our feminine delegates from
the countries of the world?

Let's live for love

Let's give everything for love

Let's live for love

For love is the only way to live

Love, love, love is a wonderful game

Mother Nature taught us to play

Oh boys and girls aren't
made quite the same

Vive la difference

Will young love spring

That's how it should always be

Let's live for love

For love is the only way to live

Let's live for love

Let's live for love

- I'm sure you'll agree,
ladies and gentlemen,

that they look absolutely charming.

Well now, the demonstration.

Right, girls. Now as we
rehearsed, you remember.

One,

two,

three.

- Now.

- Ladies and gentlemen,
the gaseous substance

that is the secret of
the universal brassiere

seems to have gotten a
little out of control.

This whole technical mishap.

Don't let it blind you to the great.

Put your trust in British
workmanship, won't you?

Help them, ladies and gentlemen.

I can help women everywhere they go.

Harriet, get me down!

Excuse me.

- Does this article of furniture

happen to belong to you, sir?

- Yes, of course it does.

- Then that, as the old saying goes,

just about wraps it up.

- Hello.

Have you given up your old job?

- I never give up, sir.

Not once I've got my little
white teeth into something

and a right little something
this turned out to be.

- What are you talking about?

- Murder.

- I beg your pardon?

- Seth, bring Mrs. Blossom up here please.

Right, sir.

Murder.

Always longed to say that.

It's my first one, you see.

Never been on anything

before this big of an indecent exposure.

What's going on, dear?

- Thejig is up, Mrs. Blossom.

That's an English expression.

Not that I've ever heard
anyone saying the jig is down.

But what I want to
inform you, Mrs. Blossom,

is that we're now ready
to prepare charges.

And I must warn you that anything you say,

et cetera, et cetera.

- Charges? What charges?

What are you talking about?

- Getting on four years ago,

a young man called
Ambrose Tuttle, thank you,

left your factory and
was never seen again.

When I'd discovered that his tools

had been posted back to the factory

by none other than your
good lady, "Hello," I said.

Then when I found her,
your same good lady,

entertaining a Mexican
gentleman of some hairiness

and claiming to be her cousin,
that hello became hello.

Hello.

- But this is absolute gibberish.

- Bear with me. Bear with me.

Having ascertained you knew
nothing of such a cousin,

I kept careful watch and
surveillance on this house.

And what did I see?

Strange chinks of light

coming from of all places, the attic.

So while you were away,
haircut, boots, buttons.

Take this man's name, Johnson.

I had the forensic boys nip into the house

for a short exploration.

And when I received their report,

then and only then did the
final piece of the jigsaw-

- Fall into place.
- Fall into place.

- Really, Mr. Dylan. I've
had a most tiring day.

- I do understand, Mr. Blossom.

But now the facts are obvious.

Ambrose Tuttle was murdered.

Murdered?

- Yes.

You see, he caught Mrs. B
and her Mexican plaything in

for granted to please yourselves,

so they had to do him in.

That took care of poor Mr. Tuttle.

- Why, that's absolute nonsense.

- But you ask, "What about Mexican?"

- Exactly, what about the Mexican?

- He took up residence there.

- Oh, oh. That's nonsense too.

- But of course it's nonsense.

I mean how could anybody
hide Mexican in an attic?

- Deep breath, Mr. Blossom.

Brace yourself.

Excuse me.

After you, sir.

He was
cal/ed offside the field

in just a little about 15
seconds left in the second half.

With a few minutes added
on for injury time,

it looked almost certain now
that neither side is going.

Oh, Mackai's got the ball.

Yes, it's a goal!

- Hello.

- I'll make some tea.

- Harriet!

- Why do you now seek this divorce?

- Well because

nothing that has emerged so far

has altered the fundamental situation.

I am basically a very dull husband

and I don't suppose anything
will ever alter that.

And so

if my wife loves this man

and he loves her, well then

I must return to my first love.

- Holy-

ls that lady in question
present in the courtroom now?

- No, My Lord.

Music.

It has always given me a great pleasure

and a sense of fulfillment.

- So you're giving up your business.

- No, no, no, no. I'm not giving it up.

No, giving it over really to
them as a wedding present.

The factory and everything.

I thought I'd have some fun for a change.

- Mr. Blossom, you
shall have your divorce.

- Oh, thank you very much.

M'lord.

- With the one comment:

you're a fool to the top of your bed.

- Has he who casts the first stone

looked in his own attic recently?

- Eh?

The court's adjourned.

- Oh, they're beautifully made, you know.

Even the screen wipers work.

- I'll have them all set out
for you this evening, dear.

- These are mostly bills.

I say there's one here for old Robert.

I'll get Miss Reece forwarded on, okay?

- Ambrose, listen to this.

I've been accepted by the
Royal Academy of Arts.

- Harriet Tuttle.

- Isn't that so sweet?

- Congratulations, darling.

This calls a celebration.

We'll have a bottle of wine
with our dinner tonight.

Put some Chablis in the fridge.

- Yes.

- Oh, golly. Look at the time.

Really must fly.

We're photographing the
sub-teenage collection today.

Oh, how are the new models?

Precocious.

- Are they pretty?

_ Hmm?
' Pretty?

- Oh, hmm.

- Well I'll ring you from the office

when I'm coming home.

- Yes.
- Have a good day.

- Have a good day.
- Bye-bye.

- Three minutes, darling.

It's the way that I live

And I like it that way

Fall in love when I choose

Win or lose

Why refuse love

It's the way that I live

Every night, every day

Though I may break the rules

Only fools I

Never use love

With tomorrow an uncertain fact

I am using today to react

To attractions my head tells me I

Cannot deny my heart

So I'll go on this way

Makin' love night and day

Who is there to deny

This is why

We are living

Criticize if you will

I am still as contented
as lovers can be

And the way that I live is the way

For

Me