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1
00:00:01,875 --> 00:00:03,043
Bad news, everyone.
2
00:00:03,168 --> 00:00:05,794
They have pushed back
our renovations again.
3
00:00:05,795 --> 00:00:07,715
I know. It's such a bummer.
4
00:00:07,840 --> 00:00:12,509
But, at least
we still have staff picks.
5
00:00:12,510 --> 00:00:14,389
All right, m'lovelies,
give 'em to me!
6
00:00:14,514 --> 00:00:17,180
I've got
"The Transformenstruation".
7
00:00:17,181 --> 00:00:19,015
It is the first book
in Michaela Ramos'
8
00:00:19,016 --> 00:00:20,183
Bloodiest Moon Trilogy.
9
00:00:20,184 --> 00:00:21,518
Oh!
10
00:00:21,519 --> 00:00:25,566
It's terrifying, and angsty,
and so necessary.
11
00:00:25,691 --> 00:00:27,234
Why are we pushing
this drivel?
12
00:00:27,359 --> 00:00:29,027
Okay, it's a bunch of magic
and fairy tale nonsense.
13
00:00:29,028 --> 00:00:30,527
Bryce.
14
00:00:30,528 --> 00:00:32,740
Oh, are you outraged about
a fiction book being promoted
15
00:00:32,865 --> 00:00:34,908
at the, hm,
checks notes, library?
16
00:00:35,035 --> 00:00:36,410
- You forget what we do here?
- Never.
17
00:00:36,535 --> 00:00:38,326
We are a public service
for tax paying citizens
18
00:00:38,327 --> 00:00:40,997
and landed immigrants
who came here the right way.
19
00:00:40,998 --> 00:00:42,584
- That's not exactly--
- But that book is trash.
20
00:00:42,709 --> 00:00:44,542
Okay, I won't read it, haven't
read it, but it's trash.
21
00:00:44,543 --> 00:00:47,170
Noted.
Now, what's your pick?
22
00:00:47,171 --> 00:00:48,922
Oh, are you flippin'
kidding me?
23
00:00:49,047 --> 00:00:50,381
Jaq, language.
24
00:00:50,382 --> 00:00:53,216
Bryce, what exactly is
"The Republic's Edge"?
25
00:00:53,217 --> 00:00:54,762
Oh, they're
a conservative faction--
26
00:00:54,887 --> 00:00:56,387
Faction?!
Ha!
27
00:00:56,388 --> 00:00:57,679
Overreact much? No.
28
00:00:57,680 --> 00:00:58,767
No, we're just a bunch
fellas
29
00:00:58,892 --> 00:01:00,391
who get together and talk
policy.
30
00:01:00,392 --> 00:01:02,225
I mean we started as a paintball
group for Christ's sake.
31
00:01:02,226 --> 00:01:03,894
Wendy, no, they're a bunch
of right wing dicks.
32
00:01:03,895 --> 00:01:05,105
- Dicks?
- Dicks.
33
00:01:05,230 --> 00:01:06,522
Let the record show
I'm offended.
34
00:01:06,523 --> 00:01:08,066
Okay, nice try,
tohtineh but white men
35
00:01:08,067 --> 00:01:09,733
- can't be offended, so...
- Has anyone received a call
36
00:01:09,734 --> 00:01:11,027
from our day transfer?
37
00:01:11,028 --> 00:01:12,070
He's late.
38
00:01:14,407 --> 00:01:16,742
Can I even park here?
39
00:01:17,869 --> 00:01:19,075
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa!
Hey, man!
40
00:01:19,076 --> 00:01:20,369
What are you doin'?
Quit it!
41
00:01:20,370 --> 00:01:22,747
Mid-stream?
Nah, that's bad for your wang.
42
00:01:22,748 --> 00:01:23,873
Ugh.
Unbelievable.
43
00:01:23,874 --> 00:01:25,207
That book is garbage.
44
00:01:25,208 --> 00:01:26,751
How can you write
a whole book on menstruation?
45
00:01:26,752 --> 00:01:29,297
You know, what's garbage is your
podcast that you listen to.
46
00:01:29,422 --> 00:01:31,087
Patton Jefferson's
"Lamestream Bias"
47
00:01:31,088 --> 00:01:33,423
is a haven
for reasonable thought, okay?
48
00:01:33,424 --> 00:01:37,304
He is a man of the people,
for the people, by the people.
49
00:01:37,429 --> 00:01:39,096
- Esjieeee!
- Wendy, no, she...
50
00:01:39,097 --> 00:01:42,766
That book cost a fortune to bind
and intellectually copyright.
51
00:01:42,767 --> 00:01:45,394
Bryce, could you please
just pick an actual book.
52
00:01:45,395 --> 00:01:48,397
Okay, all right,
just put up last month's.
53
00:01:48,398 --> 00:01:50,775
- Eat, Pray, Love?
- What?
54
00:01:50,776 --> 00:01:52,735
I like the chapters
where she eats.
55
00:02:02,288 --> 00:02:03,621
Ah, morning, Wendy!
56
00:02:03,622 --> 00:02:04,621
Morning.
57
00:02:04,622 --> 00:02:05,789
Alvin, Slow down!
58
00:02:05,790 --> 00:02:07,457
I'm not taking you
to urgent care again.
59
00:02:07,458 --> 00:02:08,960
Sheila, what are you doing here?
60
00:02:08,961 --> 00:02:10,794
You're not scheduled to work
the settlement desk today.
61
00:02:10,795 --> 00:02:13,006
No, but I left a textbook
and I'm already late for class,
62
00:02:13,133 --> 00:02:15,466
so...
63
00:02:15,467 --> 00:02:17,634
Sabine!
64
00:02:17,635 --> 00:02:20,596
You are lookin' fancy
and hireable.
65
00:02:20,597 --> 00:02:21,683
Thanks to your program.
66
00:02:21,808 --> 00:02:23,431
I can't afford
anything this boring,
67
00:02:23,432 --> 00:02:24,852
but, I'll borrow it.
68
00:02:24,977 --> 00:02:27,145
Well, I'm glad
one of my old suits
69
00:02:27,146 --> 00:02:29,604
is being put to good use.
70
00:02:29,605 --> 00:02:31,149
Hey, are your computers
working yet?
71
00:02:31,150 --> 00:02:32,483
I need to print a résumé.
72
00:02:32,484 --> 00:02:34,195
Oh, no, the replacement
computers aren't here yet,
73
00:02:34,320 --> 00:02:35,485
but they should be here
later today.
74
00:02:35,486 --> 00:02:36,486
Hm.
75
00:02:36,487 --> 00:02:38,156
We can print it in my office.
76
00:02:38,157 --> 00:02:40,490
Yeah, I should have enough toner
left for a couple of pages.
77
00:02:40,491 --> 00:02:41,535
Okay.
78
00:02:45,540 --> 00:02:46,830
Wait!
Hey, hey, hey, hey!
79
00:02:46,831 --> 00:02:48,623
I am so sorry, but,
80
00:02:48,624 --> 00:02:51,127
I guess none of you
wanted it badly enough.
81
00:02:51,128 --> 00:02:53,169
But, if you need
a freelance consultant
82
00:02:53,170 --> 00:02:55,965
to be better at things,
then please make an appointment.
83
00:02:55,966 --> 00:02:57,466
Okay?
84
00:02:57,467 --> 00:02:59,009
Bye.
See you soon.
85
00:02:59,010 --> 00:03:00,677
You know you really shouldn't
have that study room every day.
86
00:03:00,678 --> 00:03:02,013
Well, I won.
It's library law.
87
00:03:02,014 --> 00:03:03,347
No such thing, Alvin.
88
00:03:03,348 --> 00:03:06,310
Grabbing a coffee.
Back in 15.
89
00:03:14,194 --> 00:03:18,988
Heavens.
It's just one day, Howard.
90
00:03:18,989 --> 00:03:20,909
One day.
Oh, um, good morning.
91
00:03:21,034 --> 00:03:22,032
I'm... I'm looking
for the branch head,
92
00:03:22,033 --> 00:03:23,033
Wendy Yarmouth?
93
00:03:23,034 --> 00:03:24,869
- You found her!
- Oh.
94
00:03:24,870 --> 00:03:27,371
And you are our day transfer
from Midtown Library,
95
00:03:27,372 --> 00:03:28,371
Howard Toot.
96
00:03:28,372 --> 00:03:30,332
Oh, um, Tutt.
Howard Tutt.
97
00:03:30,333 --> 00:03:31,834
I'm glad you're here.
Consent to a hug?
98
00:03:31,835 --> 00:03:33,544
Oh, no.
I'm afraid not.
99
00:03:33,545 --> 00:03:35,589
Alrighty,
let me show you around.
100
00:03:35,714 --> 00:03:37,548
Oh, is there a place
to put my...
101
00:03:37,549 --> 00:03:40,675
Nothing.
102
00:03:40,676 --> 00:03:42,887
We have fiction over here.
103
00:03:42,888 --> 00:03:44,555
Uh, these are our new releases.
104
00:03:44,556 --> 00:03:46,890
We've got DVDs back there.
105
00:03:46,891 --> 00:03:48,558
We need a new
Muppet Movie DVD
106
00:03:48,559 --> 00:03:50,853
'cause I have worn
that sucker out.
107
00:03:50,854 --> 00:03:53,357
Oh, DVDs don't wear out.
They deteriorate.
108
00:03:55,276 --> 00:03:58,568
Reference materials
and magazines.
109
00:03:58,569 --> 00:04:00,782
Um, so that's it?
Just the one floor?
110
00:04:00,907 --> 00:04:03,450
We have a few meeting rooms
downstairs, but, yeah,
111
00:04:03,575 --> 00:04:06,244
this is our baby.
112
00:04:06,245 --> 00:04:08,039
I'm sorry.
What happened there?
113
00:04:11,541 --> 00:04:12,917
Um...
114
00:04:12,918 --> 00:04:14,710
Yeah, you know, sometimes with
these older machines,
115
00:04:14,711 --> 00:04:16,380
it's just best to restart.
116
00:04:21,094 --> 00:04:24,094
Run!
117
00:04:24,095 --> 00:04:26,888
We all went home early that day.
118
00:04:26,889 --> 00:04:29,099
Why hasn't home office
fixed any of this?
119
00:04:29,100 --> 00:04:31,268
You know they just put a mini
movie theatre in at Leslie.
120
00:04:31,269 --> 00:04:32,936
- Did they?
- Yes.
121
00:04:32,937 --> 00:04:35,438
Even at Midtown, we had a bank
of computers short one morning.
122
00:04:35,439 --> 00:04:37,732
They had replacements
into us that afternoon.
123
00:04:37,733 --> 00:04:39,068
How long has it been for you?
A month?
124
00:04:39,069 --> 00:04:41,279
Months...
125
00:04:41,280 --> 00:04:44,614
Uh, but, they said
they're coming today.
126
00:04:44,615 --> 00:04:47,284
So maybe I will go
give them a ring
127
00:04:47,285 --> 00:04:48,452
and see where they're at.
128
00:04:48,453 --> 00:04:49,746
Come on.
129
00:04:51,541 --> 00:04:54,334
Bryce, can you show
our day transfer around?
130
00:04:54,459 --> 00:04:56,460
I have to check on the status
of our replacement computers.
131
00:04:56,461 --> 00:04:57,794
You finally gonna show those
paper pushers what's what?
132
00:04:57,795 --> 00:04:59,173
That's right.
133
00:04:59,298 --> 00:05:01,131
About to get a whole
buncha Wendy up in their craw.
134
00:05:01,132 --> 00:05:03,967
Fools better have
my Norton AntiVirus.
135
00:05:03,968 --> 00:05:05,680
Yeah, there's "Fierce Wendy."
Love her.
136
00:05:07,472 --> 00:05:09,974
And, you ruined it.
137
00:05:09,975 --> 00:05:12,977
Uh, this is Tanya.
This is Jaq.
138
00:05:12,978 --> 00:05:14,145
Jaq is the only librarian
139
00:05:14,146 --> 00:05:16,981
that understands
our social media accounts.
140
00:05:16,982 --> 00:05:19,650
This is my assistant head,
Bryce.
141
00:05:19,651 --> 00:05:21,318
Bryce, Howard.
142
00:05:21,319 --> 00:05:22,697
Bryce Howard!
143
00:05:22,822 --> 00:05:24,321
We just need a Dallas now
to complete the set.
144
00:05:26,659 --> 00:05:28,491
- Bryce, you got him?
- Yeah, I got him, boss-lady.
145
00:05:28,492 --> 00:05:29,871
"Boss-lady?"
146
00:05:29,996 --> 00:05:31,494
So if she was a guy,
you'd call her boss-man, right?
147
00:05:31,495 --> 00:05:33,455
Don't try to ensnare me
in one of your sexism traps.
148
00:05:33,456 --> 00:05:34,457
I'm not.
I'm just asking.
149
00:05:34,458 --> 00:05:35,666
It's not gonna work again.
150
00:05:35,667 --> 00:05:37,210
Besides you don't need
to say "boss-man."
151
00:05:37,337 --> 00:05:38,712
The man part's implied.
152
00:05:38,837 --> 00:05:41,339
Is there, like, a locker,
or some such I can put this in?
153
00:05:41,340 --> 00:05:42,383
Just toss it on the pile.
154
00:05:42,508 --> 00:05:44,174
Your jacket
can keep my jacket warm.
155
00:05:44,175 --> 00:05:45,967
Ah.
156
00:05:45,968 --> 00:05:47,510
Y-You know,
I'll just keep it on.
157
00:05:47,511 --> 00:05:49,724
- It's, uh, deceptively light.
- Uh-huh, what?
158
00:05:49,849 --> 00:05:51,640
Are you worried
us poor Jameson staffers
159
00:05:51,641 --> 00:05:54,184
are gonna steal your fancy
jacket that's got all the...
160
00:05:54,185 --> 00:05:55,229
...the buttons on it still?
161
00:05:55,354 --> 00:05:58,356
No, I... I...
have thin bones, yes.
162
00:05:58,357 --> 00:06:00,691
- This bones.
- Ugh.
163
00:06:00,692 --> 00:06:03,693
All right there, Big Library,
164
00:06:03,694 --> 00:06:06,030
I'll take you on
the ten cent tour.
165
00:06:06,031 --> 00:06:07,741
Stay close.
Keep up.
166
00:06:07,866 --> 00:06:09,866
So why take a day transfer?
167
00:06:09,867 --> 00:06:12,035
You, uh, trying to get away
from your branch?
168
00:06:12,036 --> 00:06:14,371
Oh, no.
Um, I'm at Midtown.
169
00:06:14,372 --> 00:06:16,039
I love it, obviously, but, um,
170
00:06:16,040 --> 00:06:17,207
I'm looking for
a bit of extra cash.
171
00:06:17,208 --> 00:06:18,708
Mm-hm.
172
00:06:18,709 --> 00:06:21,712
Uh, yeah, it seems I need
to replace half of my furniture.
173
00:06:21,713 --> 00:06:23,591
Oh!
Bed bugs or break up?
174
00:06:23,716 --> 00:06:25,215
Um, break up.
Thank God.
175
00:06:25,216 --> 00:06:27,428
Mm-hm, been there.
A lot.
176
00:06:27,553 --> 00:06:29,053
Anyhoo, over there
at the front desk
177
00:06:29,054 --> 00:06:30,431
you got your Naloxone.
178
00:06:30,556 --> 00:06:33,349
If anybody asks, the needle drop
is in the washroom.
179
00:06:33,350 --> 00:06:35,103
Uh, there's a lot less
gang fights here
180
00:06:35,228 --> 00:06:36,352
than at my previous library.
181
00:06:36,353 --> 00:06:38,438
- Oh.
- And over there you've got--
182
00:06:38,563 --> 00:06:39,774
Oh, you've got
a young fella about to read
183
00:06:39,899 --> 00:06:40,897
some feminist trash.
184
00:06:40,898 --> 00:06:42,525
Excuse me.
185
00:06:42,526 --> 00:06:44,528
Young man,
put the book down, please.
186
00:06:52,577 --> 00:06:55,078
Hi, there.
Can I help you find a book?
187
00:06:55,079 --> 00:06:56,080
I'm fine.
188
00:06:56,081 --> 00:06:57,959
Oh, well, maybe something else?
189
00:06:58,084 --> 00:07:00,128
A movie or an instrument?
190
00:07:00,253 --> 00:07:03,087
Oh, you're getting close.
You are very close.
191
00:07:03,088 --> 00:07:05,258
Jaq!
192
00:07:06,426 --> 00:07:07,715
Need something, Wendy?
193
00:07:07,716 --> 00:07:09,637
What's Bay Street's deal?
194
00:07:09,762 --> 00:07:11,972
His name is Big Library.
Day transfer.
195
00:07:12,097 --> 00:07:13,597
Howard, what is your problem?
196
00:07:13,598 --> 00:07:15,810
No problem.
I...
197
00:07:15,935 --> 00:07:17,893
I'm just trying
to help Wendy find something
198
00:07:17,894 --> 00:07:19,936
so she can be on her way.
199
00:07:19,937 --> 00:07:21,772
Oh.
On my way, eh?
200
00:07:21,773 --> 00:07:24,275
This elitist prick
is trying to kick me
201
00:07:24,276 --> 00:07:26,443
out of a public library.
202
00:07:26,444 --> 00:07:30,280
As a member of the public,
who should I complain to?
203
00:07:30,281 --> 00:07:31,448
I'll tell the Other Wendy.
204
00:07:31,449 --> 00:07:33,327
Look, I have
an exemplary track record
205
00:07:33,452 --> 00:07:35,077
dealing with patrons
of all types.
206
00:07:35,078 --> 00:07:40,082
So I'm sure me and this Wendy
can sort things out on our own.
207
00:07:40,083 --> 00:07:43,960
Well, all is forgiven.
208
00:07:43,961 --> 00:07:46,756
If...
209
00:07:49,760 --> 00:07:51,092
nervously laughing)
210
00:07:51,093 --> 00:07:52,637
Okay, okay.
Okay, okay.
211
00:07:59,479 --> 00:08:01,770
You were gonna kiss my hand!?
212
00:08:01,771 --> 00:08:03,647
You were.
You were gonna do it.
213
00:08:03,648 --> 00:08:07,275
You have no idea
where it's been.
214
00:08:07,276 --> 00:08:10,320
- No, I don't.
- No idea.
215
00:08:10,321 --> 00:08:12,989
nervously laughing)
216
00:08:12,990 --> 00:08:15,661
Welcome to Parkdale, Hollard.
217
00:08:22,251 --> 00:08:24,126
They're here!
Whoa, whoa, whoa!
218
00:08:24,127 --> 00:08:25,501
Wait.
Stop, stop, stop right there.
219
00:08:25,502 --> 00:08:27,837
What in puppy kisses are these?
220
00:08:27,838 --> 00:08:29,339
Your "new" computers.
221
00:08:29,340 --> 00:08:30,551
No, no, no, no, no!
222
00:08:30,676 --> 00:08:32,675
These are older
than the ones we had!
223
00:08:32,676 --> 00:08:33,803
Sucks to be Jameson.
224
00:08:40,853 --> 00:08:42,019
The only thing
that sucks in here
225
00:08:42,020 --> 00:08:44,355
is those dusty, old computers.
226
00:08:44,356 --> 00:08:47,024
So take those dinosaurs
back to a museum!
227
00:08:47,025 --> 00:08:48,525
Yeah, get 'em, Fierce Wendy!
228
00:08:48,526 --> 00:08:53,155
And, bring us some computers
made after the Mesozoic era!
229
00:08:53,156 --> 00:08:54,367
Okay, she's tryin'.
230
00:08:56,953 --> 00:08:59,203
This is C-R-A-P, Loretta!
Again we're brushed aside.
231
00:08:59,204 --> 00:09:02,914
We are understaffed,
underfunded, under fire.
232
00:09:02,915 --> 00:09:04,540
We literally had a fire!
233
00:09:04,541 --> 00:09:05,626
We cleaned that up.
234
00:09:05,627 --> 00:09:07,711
And left us without computers.
235
00:09:07,712 --> 00:09:10,213
Half our patrons come here
to use the computers.
236
00:09:10,214 --> 00:09:12,466
We can't just forget
about Jasmine,
237
00:09:12,467 --> 00:09:15,843
who comes here to do research
for school projects, or,
238
00:09:15,844 --> 00:09:19,222
or Pam, a single mom who can't
afford Internet at home,
239
00:09:19,223 --> 00:09:22,892
or Bob, who does only
appropriate things on there.
240
00:09:22,893 --> 00:09:23,977
I hope.
241
00:09:23,978 --> 00:09:26,063
Well, I just sent you
six computers.
242
00:09:26,064 --> 00:09:28,732
They had Netscape Navigator
on them!
243
00:09:28,733 --> 00:09:30,733
If you have good Wi-Fi,
your patrons can just
244
00:09:30,734 --> 00:09:32,861
bring in their laptops.
245
00:09:32,862 --> 00:09:34,862
I bet you would send us
computers if we were
246
00:09:34,863 --> 00:09:36,198
any other branch.
247
00:09:36,199 --> 00:09:38,661
Like Leslie, maybe?
248
00:09:41,538 --> 00:09:43,706
Wendy, tread lightly.
249
00:09:43,707 --> 00:09:46,750
I'm not treading.
I just...
250
00:09:46,751 --> 00:09:49,002
You were their branch manager
before you got this job
251
00:09:49,003 --> 00:09:51,212
running facilities,
which you totally deserve,
252
00:09:51,213 --> 00:09:55,049
but I just heard that
they got a movie theatre.
253
00:09:55,050 --> 00:09:57,177
It's more of a screening salon.
254
00:09:57,178 --> 00:09:58,973
And I petitioned
for that years ago.
255
00:10:02,642 --> 00:10:04,142
If the other
branch managers knew--
256
00:10:04,143 --> 00:10:05,310
I'm gonna stop you
right there, Wendy,
257
00:10:05,311 --> 00:10:07,520
'cause I do not negotiate
with terrorists.
258
00:10:07,521 --> 00:10:08,688
Terrorist?!
259
00:10:08,689 --> 00:10:10,690
Because I want some
flippin' computers?!
260
00:10:10,691 --> 00:10:12,318
Oh!
Language.
261
00:10:12,319 --> 00:10:13,443
All right, well,
your complaint is noted.
262
00:10:13,444 --> 00:10:14,903
Thank you so much.
I gotta go.
263
00:10:14,904 --> 00:10:15,904
N-N-No!
264
00:10:15,905 --> 00:10:18,156
Damn it!
265
00:10:18,157 --> 00:10:20,035
Oh!
Language.
266
00:10:23,163 --> 00:10:25,414
These computers,
267
00:10:25,415 --> 00:10:26,914
you're not keeping them,
are you?
268
00:10:26,915 --> 00:10:28,958
Mm, probably.
269
00:10:28,959 --> 00:10:30,836
Fierce Wendy's
gonna do something, right?
270
00:10:30,837 --> 00:10:34,714
Mm, that Fierce Wendy thing
is pure fiction section.
271
00:10:34,715 --> 00:10:36,216
I mean, don't get me wrong.
I love her.
272
00:10:36,217 --> 00:10:38,510
I would melt a body in a tub
full of hydrofluoric acid
273
00:10:38,511 --> 00:10:41,347
for her, but, she cares too much
about what other people think.
274
00:10:41,348 --> 00:10:44,015
And so, this is what we get.
275
00:10:44,016 --> 00:10:45,016
Disappointing.
276
00:10:45,017 --> 00:10:47,102
Yeah.
277
00:10:47,103 --> 00:10:50,481
Listen up,
fellow library staff!
278
00:10:50,482 --> 00:10:52,857
- Please leave.
- We're done anyway.
279
00:10:52,858 --> 00:10:53,900
They're all yours.
280
00:10:53,901 --> 00:10:55,110
That's right.
They're all ours.
281
00:10:55,111 --> 00:10:56,528
Safe trip back to 1987
282
00:10:56,529 --> 00:10:58,197
or wherever the frack
you came from.
283
00:10:58,198 --> 00:11:00,366
- Language.
- Oh, wow.
284
00:11:00,367 --> 00:11:02,116
Can these things
even connect to the Internet?
285
00:11:02,117 --> 00:11:04,620
Oh, you know what?
286
00:11:04,621 --> 00:11:07,372
I'll go over to Tech Town.
They're always having sales.
287
00:11:07,373 --> 00:11:08,832
I could maybe pick up
a couple computers.
288
00:11:08,833 --> 00:11:10,833
No, Wendy,
you can't afford it.
289
00:11:10,834 --> 00:11:12,296
I have a little savings.
290
00:11:14,964 --> 00:11:17,216
These are the most basic
computers we have.
291
00:11:17,217 --> 00:11:20,635
I could give you 10 percent off.
Every little bit helps.
292
00:11:20,636 --> 00:11:23,930
Maybe we can think
of another way
293
00:11:23,931 --> 00:11:27,266
to drop the price.
294
00:11:27,267 --> 00:11:29,895
- I'm happily married.
- Oh, no, no.
295
00:11:29,896 --> 00:11:31,230
Did you think
I was trying to be flirty?
296
00:11:31,231 --> 00:11:34,775
I-I-- no, I'm sorry.
Let me try that again.
297
00:11:34,776 --> 00:11:39,780
I am the manager
of the Jameson Library.
298
00:11:39,781 --> 00:11:42,408
- I'm good.
- Okay, alrighty.
299
00:11:42,409 --> 00:11:46,745
Oh!
300
00:11:46,746 --> 00:11:48,454
Hi, Loretta.
Call to apologize?
301
00:11:48,455 --> 00:11:50,915
Hi, welcome to Tech Town.
302
00:11:50,916 --> 00:11:52,918
Are you in Tech Town?
303
00:11:52,919 --> 00:11:56,880
No, I'm at lunch.
She said "Taco Town".
304
00:11:56,881 --> 00:12:00,259
There's no food in Tech Town!
305
00:12:00,260 --> 00:12:03,429
Don't blow your salary
to make a point, Wendy.
306
00:12:03,430 --> 00:12:05,097
- Did you call for a reason?
- Yes.
307
00:12:05,098 --> 00:12:07,182
I can't get you
better computers yet,
308
00:12:07,183 --> 00:12:10,560
but, I have a solution
to your understaffed problem.
309
00:12:10,561 --> 00:12:11,937
I'm listening.
310
00:12:11,938 --> 00:12:13,605
And I'll tell you
this is a poorly built shoe.
311
00:12:13,606 --> 00:12:14,814
You look along the seams here
312
00:12:14,815 --> 00:12:16,607
you can tell
that this is just one stitch.
313
00:12:16,608 --> 00:12:18,276
- Okay.
- Okay, what's happening?
314
00:12:18,277 --> 00:12:19,278
What am I walking in on?
315
00:12:19,279 --> 00:12:20,779
Just another round of
316
00:12:20,780 --> 00:12:22,613
What's the Weirdest Thing
you Found in the Return Slot?"
317
00:12:22,614 --> 00:12:24,408
Size 10 men's shoe
318
00:12:24,409 --> 00:12:25,909
with a perfectly good
golf ball inside.
319
00:12:25,910 --> 00:12:27,410
Okay, hang on a second.
320
00:12:27,411 --> 00:12:29,246
How can you even get foreign
objects in the book return?
321
00:12:29,247 --> 00:12:30,708
Isn't it automated?
322
00:12:32,877 --> 00:12:35,626
Okay, you're gonna wanna hold
onto your butt with this one.
323
00:12:35,627 --> 00:12:37,587
- What do ya got?
- Okay, ready?
324
00:12:37,588 --> 00:12:38,797
- Oh!
- Ah!
325
00:12:38,798 --> 00:12:40,339
- Well, you win.
- Oh, yeah,
326
00:12:40,340 --> 00:12:42,259
- That's good, that's good.
- Look at those freakin' teeth.
327
00:12:42,260 --> 00:12:45,345
- There those are.
- You wear dentures?
328
00:12:45,346 --> 00:12:47,890
No.
329
00:12:47,891 --> 00:12:49,015
You know, it's official.
330
00:12:49,016 --> 00:12:50,350
This branch is worse
than Tyler Perry's
331
00:12:50,351 --> 00:12:52,102
"A Madea Family Funeral".
332
00:12:52,103 --> 00:12:53,437
Who's Madea?
Who's Tyler Perries?
333
00:12:53,438 --> 00:12:54,520
And whose funeral is it?
334
00:12:54,521 --> 00:12:56,106
Howard, have you
taken out the trash yet?
335
00:12:56,107 --> 00:12:58,608
Are you serious?
You guys don't you have a clerk?
336
00:12:58,609 --> 00:13:00,651
Oh, do you mean
our book butler?
337
00:13:00,652 --> 00:13:02,196
He's outside with
the trash receptacles,
338
00:13:02,197 --> 00:13:05,073
because, he's a raccoon.
339
00:13:05,074 --> 00:13:07,201
Four more hours.
340
00:13:07,202 --> 00:13:09,705
Um, Howard,
can I speak to you for a minute?
341
00:13:12,041 --> 00:13:15,833
I have some news that you
can take one of two ways.
342
00:13:15,834 --> 00:13:19,755
Option A, freak out,
which is helpful to no one, or,
343
00:13:19,756 --> 00:13:22,799
um... Option B,
try to look on the bright side.
344
00:13:22,800 --> 00:13:25,135
Okay...
345
00:13:25,136 --> 00:13:27,386
You can finally
take off your coat,
346
00:13:27,387 --> 00:13:30,640
because your day transfer
is officially permanent.
347
00:13:30,641 --> 00:13:33,017
Welcome to Jameson!
348
00:13:33,018 --> 00:13:35,938
What?
No.
349
00:13:35,939 --> 00:13:38,357
- What?!
- Oh!
350
00:13:38,358 --> 00:13:40,820
Maybe this celebration
cupcake will help?
351
00:13:46,825 --> 00:13:49,118
It's probably best.
It's been there a week.
352
00:13:52,163 --> 00:13:55,164
No, n-n-no, no, Isla, this was
supposed to be for one day.
353
00:13:55,165 --> 00:13:57,000
Jameson needs help.
It's a win-win.
354
00:13:57,001 --> 00:14:00,337
- You see two wins in this?
- One for Wendy and one for me.
355
00:14:00,338 --> 00:14:01,672
Now it won't be so awkward here.
356
00:14:01,673 --> 00:14:04,218
It's not my fault
people are awkward around us.
357
00:14:04,343 --> 00:14:06,219
Okay, you called off
our engagement.
358
00:14:06,344 --> 00:14:08,345
If it were up to me,
we'd be married by now.
359
00:14:08,346 --> 00:14:10,012
Yeah, I know.
360
00:14:10,013 --> 00:14:12,473
Either way, things are weird
with both of us here.
361
00:14:12,474 --> 00:14:15,352
- Weird how?
- Ugh.
362
00:14:15,353 --> 00:14:16,520
Good evening, patrons.
363
00:14:16,521 --> 00:14:17,855
This is just a friendly reminder
364
00:14:17,856 --> 00:14:20,234
that the Midtown Library
is closing in 10 minutes.
365
00:14:20,359 --> 00:14:23,318
So, do check out
any books that you have.
366
00:14:23,319 --> 00:14:26,697
And, yes, I know,
parting is such sweet sorrow.
367
00:14:26,698 --> 00:14:27,907
You know,
I thought she was the one,
368
00:14:28,032 --> 00:14:30,911
but, uh,
I'm the one sleeping on a futon
369
00:14:31,036 --> 00:14:32,995
in my ma's basement.
370
00:14:32,996 --> 00:14:35,539
Lacrimo, ergo sum!
371
00:14:35,540 --> 00:14:37,039
- Howard!
- Um, ten minutes.
372
00:14:37,040 --> 00:14:40,043
- Gotta go, bye.
- Grow the (bleep) up.
373
00:14:40,044 --> 00:14:42,089
Listen.
374
00:14:42,214 --> 00:14:44,258
It is a new branch,
new co-workers.
375
00:14:44,383 --> 00:14:45,674
It's a fresh start.
376
00:14:45,675 --> 00:14:48,010
I don't want a fresh start.
I want my old branch.
377
00:14:48,011 --> 00:14:49,720
I am complaining to home office.
378
00:14:49,721 --> 00:14:52,432
Good luck with that.
Bye, Howard.
379
00:14:52,557 --> 00:14:54,348
Isla Donovan,
do not hang up this phone!
380
00:14:54,349 --> 00:14:55,603
Isla!
381
00:14:57,061 --> 00:14:58,853
Ay, it's a library, dog!
Cut all that out!
382
00:14:58,854 --> 00:14:59,895
Oh, uh, I'm so sorry.
383
00:14:59,896 --> 00:15:01,231
Yeah, I lost it there
for a second.
384
00:15:01,232 --> 00:15:02,565
Yeah, I saw that.
385
00:15:02,566 --> 00:15:04,400
Ain't nobody needin'
all that drama, Jane Austen!
386
00:15:04,401 --> 00:15:06,404
This ain't Pride and Prejudice.
387
00:15:08,782 --> 00:15:10,908
Oh, hey, Jaq.
I have a meeting coming in soon.
388
00:15:10,909 --> 00:15:12,118
So if they get here
before I'm back,
389
00:15:12,243 --> 00:15:14,410
- do you mind just--
- Oh-ho, I get it.
390
00:15:14,411 --> 00:15:16,078
Because I'm a woman
behind a desk,
391
00:15:16,079 --> 00:15:18,459
that makes me your assistant.
392
00:15:18,584 --> 00:15:21,628
- No, no, no, that's--
- Get out of my face.
393
00:15:21,753 --> 00:15:22,963
- Yes.
- Denehgeh.
394
00:15:23,088 --> 00:15:24,254
Bye. Bye...
395
00:15:24,255 --> 00:15:25,756
Jaq, where's Wendy?
396
00:15:25,757 --> 00:15:28,257
Oh, because I'm a woman
behind a desk,
397
00:15:28,258 --> 00:15:29,302
I'm her assistant.
398
00:15:29,427 --> 00:15:31,260
- Wendy?
- Yeah, Hoddard?
399
00:15:31,261 --> 00:15:32,596
Oh, you know what?
400
00:15:32,597 --> 00:15:34,264
Um, I actually meant
Other Wendy.
401
00:15:34,265 --> 00:15:38,479
Yeah, well, you didn't specify
so now you got my attention.
402
00:15:38,604 --> 00:15:39,937
Where do we go from here,
Hoddard?
403
00:15:39,938 --> 00:15:43,439
You and me,
on a beach, maybe go-karting.
404
00:15:43,440 --> 00:15:44,732
You know what?
That sounds nice.
405
00:15:44,733 --> 00:15:46,445
You thought of monster trucks?
406
00:15:48,821 --> 00:15:51,448
- Wendy?
- Yeah?
407
00:15:51,449 --> 00:15:53,283
Please transfer me
back to Midtown.
408
00:15:53,284 --> 00:15:54,909
Oh, it's hard enough
409
00:15:54,910 --> 00:15:57,245
sending books back
to their original location.
410
00:15:57,246 --> 00:15:58,831
Let alone people.
411
00:15:58,958 --> 00:15:59,999
Loretta said
that your branch manager
412
00:16:00,124 --> 00:16:01,502
was gonna give you a call.
413
00:16:01,627 --> 00:16:04,671
I don't know why
I expected anything from you.
414
00:16:04,796 --> 00:16:06,254
Sorry?
415
00:16:06,255 --> 00:16:08,298
I'm gonna tell you something
your staffers will never say.
416
00:16:08,299 --> 00:16:10,759
It doesn't matter
how "adorbs" you are,
417
00:16:10,760 --> 00:16:12,803
or how many cupcakes you have,
or how many computers
418
00:16:12,804 --> 00:16:14,471
you ridiculously try
to buy yourself.
419
00:16:14,472 --> 00:16:16,182
Until you actually
become Fierce Wendy,
420
00:16:16,307 --> 00:16:17,640
whatever that means,
421
00:16:17,641 --> 00:16:19,936
your branch will never
be respected.
422
00:16:35,201 --> 00:16:37,537
Is this a Jameson tradition
I'm about to report?
423
00:16:37,662 --> 00:16:39,996
You close your mouth
and you listen now.
424
00:16:39,997 --> 00:16:41,331
Okay, Big Library?
425
00:16:41,332 --> 00:16:42,876
We don't like how
you talked to Wendy just now.
426
00:16:43,002 --> 00:16:44,333
So, you're gonna fix it,
427
00:16:44,334 --> 00:16:46,669
or else "Big Library's"
about to become "Short Stack."
428
00:16:46,670 --> 00:16:48,504
Come on, you're the one
that told me she was too nice.
429
00:16:48,505 --> 00:16:50,840
Wendy is a delicate
piece of china.
430
00:16:50,841 --> 00:16:54,387
She's not dishwasher safe.
You understand me?
431
00:16:54,512 --> 00:16:55,723
No-- No, I don't.
432
00:16:55,848 --> 00:16:58,514
Listen, you're gonna suck it up
and go say sorry.
433
00:16:58,515 --> 00:16:59,851
Can I at least go pee first?
434
00:17:02,396 --> 00:17:04,231
Yes.
435
00:17:05,733 --> 00:17:07,693
- Oh.
- Oh okay, yeah, we'll be out...
436
00:17:12,196 --> 00:17:15,490
Mm-hm.
437
00:17:15,491 --> 00:17:16,991
Um...
438
00:17:16,992 --> 00:17:18,660
Look, um...
439
00:17:18,661 --> 00:17:19,869
I'm sorry about
what I said earlier.
440
00:17:19,870 --> 00:17:21,247
- I was...
- You were right.
441
00:17:23,708 --> 00:17:25,876
Norman, our old branch manager,
442
00:17:25,877 --> 00:17:28,088
he...
wasn't easy to work for.
443
00:17:28,213 --> 00:17:30,713
And I really didn't wanna
end up like him,
444
00:17:30,714 --> 00:17:33,593
but, maybe I've gone too far
the other way.
445
00:17:33,718 --> 00:17:37,386
No, Wendy, people love you.
446
00:17:37,387 --> 00:17:38,888
Uh... um,
447
00:17:38,889 --> 00:17:41,725
pathologically
and homicidally.
448
00:17:44,562 --> 00:17:49,398
And I understand
why Jameson isn't ideal.
449
00:17:49,399 --> 00:17:51,445
But, can I ask
you something?
450
00:17:51,570 --> 00:17:54,695
Why did you wanna become
a librarian in the first place?
451
00:17:54,696 --> 00:17:59,241
Well, I guess, when I was a kid,
452
00:17:59,242 --> 00:18:01,411
I'd be in my library
all the time.
453
00:18:01,412 --> 00:18:03,579
There's this lady,
Mrs. Brenneman.
454
00:18:03,580 --> 00:18:05,792
Here you are, Howie.
455
00:18:05,917 --> 00:18:07,584
Thank you, Ms. Brenneman.
456
00:18:07,585 --> 00:18:09,376
She'd always
share her cookies with me.
457
00:18:09,377 --> 00:18:11,212
She'd even warm them up.
458
00:18:11,213 --> 00:18:13,255
My library was kind of
a second home.
459
00:18:13,256 --> 00:18:15,591
Closing time, Howie.
460
00:18:15,592 --> 00:18:16,718
Howard
She was just there,
461
00:18:16,719 --> 00:18:17,927
through it all.
462
00:18:17,928 --> 00:18:20,555
Kind, smart, she listened.
463
00:18:20,556 --> 00:18:24,811
I wanted so badly
to be that for someone else.
464
00:18:24,936 --> 00:18:26,647
Why don't you give
Jameson a shot?
465
00:18:26,772 --> 00:18:28,982
Be our Mrs. Brenneman.
466
00:18:29,108 --> 00:18:32,776
This is very heart-warming,
but it's not fair, you know?
467
00:18:32,777 --> 00:18:36,823
Isla gets to stay at Midtown
and she's the one who cheated.
468
00:18:36,948 --> 00:18:38,072
Hm.
469
00:18:38,073 --> 00:18:39,449
Hold your hush puppies.
470
00:18:39,450 --> 00:18:41,117
You were in a relationship
with your branch manager?
471
00:18:42,287 --> 00:18:43,330
Well, she wasn't
the branch manager
472
00:18:43,455 --> 00:18:44,620
when we started dating,
473
00:18:44,621 --> 00:18:47,749
and so we thought
it was fine to keep dating.
474
00:18:47,750 --> 00:18:49,503
In actual fact,
our problems only really began
475
00:18:49,628 --> 00:18:51,672
when she was promoted over me,
but up until then--
476
00:18:51,797 --> 00:18:53,128
Hold on.
Howard, stop.
477
00:18:53,129 --> 00:18:54,297
I-I-I'm sorry.
478
00:18:54,298 --> 00:18:57,424
We will unpack all of that
some other time,
479
00:18:57,425 --> 00:19:00,302
but just for clarity,
she didn't transfer you
480
00:19:00,303 --> 00:19:01,805
when she became branch manager?
481
00:19:01,806 --> 00:19:02,972
No.
482
00:19:02,973 --> 00:19:04,141
Then you broke up,
and you were gonzo?
483
00:19:04,142 --> 00:19:05,185
Yes.
484
00:19:08,480 --> 00:19:11,314
Well, that was an odd,
little rollercoaster.
485
00:19:11,315 --> 00:19:14,317
Isla, I really appreciate
you sending Howard to us,
486
00:19:14,318 --> 00:19:18,280
but I was hoping to get someone
with a little more experience.
487
00:19:18,281 --> 00:19:20,155
Howard has over 10 years
under his belt.
488
00:19:20,156 --> 00:19:21,156
He's pretty solid.
489
00:19:21,157 --> 00:19:23,704
So why'd you dump him?
490
00:19:23,829 --> 00:19:26,620
As an employee, not as a fiancé.
491
00:19:26,621 --> 00:19:28,708
Right.
He told you?
492
00:19:28,833 --> 00:19:30,666
He did.
493
00:19:30,667 --> 00:19:33,502
You know, I'm great
at keeping secrets.
494
00:19:33,503 --> 00:19:35,214
Especially one that could
get you transferred
495
00:19:35,339 --> 00:19:39,300
to some hole-in-the wall branch
on the outer rim of Toronto.
496
00:19:39,301 --> 00:19:42,723
I just need a tiny favour.
497
00:19:42,848 --> 00:19:44,683
Okay.
What do you need?
498
00:19:47,226 --> 00:19:49,810
Good news, m'lovelies!
499
00:19:49,811 --> 00:19:52,856
New computers.
You can thank Howard.
500
00:19:52,857 --> 00:19:53,857
Wait.
What?
501
00:19:53,858 --> 00:19:55,357
- Mm-hm.
- Why?
502
00:19:55,358 --> 00:19:57,404
All those stickers say
"Property of Midtown Library."
503
00:19:57,529 --> 00:19:59,654
That is why I printed up these.
504
00:19:59,655 --> 00:20:01,697
Look at you, boss-lady.
505
00:20:01,698 --> 00:20:03,409
Did you leverage
my relationship with Isla
506
00:20:03,534 --> 00:20:05,368
for these new computers?
507
00:20:08,706 --> 00:20:12,375
So, I just need a book from
you for our staff picks' shelf.
508
00:20:12,376 --> 00:20:15,045
How about "The Betrayal"
by Kate Furnivall?
509
00:20:15,046 --> 00:20:18,005
Ooh, a romantic!
510
00:20:18,006 --> 00:20:19,051
Welcome to the team.
511
00:20:21,928 --> 00:20:24,932
- Gimme that.
- Okay.
512
00:20:25,057 --> 00:20:26,724
Welcome home, computer.
513
00:20:28,935 --> 00:20:29,934
Hi, you new here?
514
00:20:29,935 --> 00:20:32,020
Sorry, what?
515
00:20:32,021 --> 00:20:34,271
Um, yeah.
Uh, yes.
516
00:20:34,272 --> 00:20:35,648
I... I am.
517
00:20:35,649 --> 00:20:37,651
I'm new.
To the branch, that is.
518
00:20:37,652 --> 00:20:39,277
I'm a new transfer.
Howard.
519
00:20:39,278 --> 00:20:42,405
- Sheila.
- Do you work here as well?
520
00:20:42,406 --> 00:20:44,699
Sort of.
I run the settlement desk.
521
00:20:44,700 --> 00:20:46,992
But on Saturdays I bring Wendy
a little something.
522
00:20:46,993 --> 00:20:48,118
Oh.
523
00:20:48,119 --> 00:20:49,703
Did you bring me
a little something?
524
00:20:49,704 --> 00:20:52,499
I'm... I'm sorry.
That was terribly awkward.
525
00:20:52,500 --> 00:20:54,711
I don't have
a coffee for you, but...
526
00:20:57,464 --> 00:20:59,465
- Thank you.
- Nice to meet you, Howard.
527
00:21:05,012 --> 00:21:06,346
Hey, Wendy.
Here's your coffee.
528
00:21:06,347 --> 00:21:07,347
Thank you!
529
00:21:07,348 --> 00:21:09,348
Mm!
530
00:21:09,349 --> 00:21:12,434
She's way out of your league,
Big Library.
531
00:21:12,435 --> 00:21:14,438
So, "Big Library's"
sticking, huh?
532
00:21:19,403 --> 00:21:20,861
You happy now?
38558
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