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1
00:00:40,420 --> 00:00:42,729
Come on, Dougal, turn off the video.
2
00:00:42,780 --> 00:00:45,374
Ok, Ted.
That's a great show, isn't it?
3
00:00:45,420 --> 00:00:48,729
He's mad, isn't he?
"I don't believe it!" he says.
4
00:00:52,499 --> 00:00:55,889
- Which one were you watching?
- What?
5
00:00:55,939 --> 00:00:58,453
Which episode of
One Foot In The Grave?
6
00:00:58,499 --> 00:01:00,694
Eh?
7
00:01:00,739 --> 00:01:03,935
You've just watched it.
Don't you remember anything?
8
00:01:03,978 --> 00:01:07,448
I don't believe it!
That's what he says.
9
00:01:07,498 --> 00:01:10,490
Come on, hurry up,
we're off to the mainland.
10
00:01:10,538 --> 00:01:12,210
Hurray! Why?
11
00:01:12,258 --> 00:01:14,453
To go and collect my winnings.
12
00:01:14,498 --> 00:01:18,650
�200 on Father Liam Rice
in the limbo competition.
13
00:01:18,698 --> 00:01:22,007
They don't know that
he always walks like that!
14
00:01:24,337 --> 00:01:26,248
I don't believe it!
15
00:01:29,177 --> 00:01:31,293
I don't believe it!
16
00:01:33,577 --> 00:01:36,374
Dougal, there's a hole
in your tank top.
17
00:01:36,416 --> 00:01:38,884
Really, Ted? I don't believe it!
18
00:01:40,016 --> 00:01:41,972
Brilliant, Dougal.
19
00:01:42,016 --> 00:01:46,806
Can we go to the caves after
the betting shop? Please, please...
20
00:01:46,856 --> 00:01:48,494
Ok, we'll go.
21
00:01:48,536 --> 00:01:51,845
Fantastic. Going to the caves.
I don't believe it!
22
00:01:52,535 --> 00:01:56,494
- Here we are now.
- (Dougal) I don't believe it!
23
00:01:56,535 --> 00:01:58,526
- Drink!
- No, Father.
24
00:01:58,575 --> 00:02:01,965
We're going to the opticians
to get you some glasses.
25
00:02:09,494 --> 00:02:12,213
We should all be careful
on the mainland.
26
00:02:12,254 --> 00:02:15,644
There's a lot of crime -
arsonists and muggers all over.
27
00:02:15,694 --> 00:02:17,889
My friend was robbed last week.
28
00:02:17,934 --> 00:02:20,164
Oh, no! Did they get much?
29
00:02:20,214 --> 00:02:22,807
No, Father. You misunderstand.
30
00:02:22,853 --> 00:02:26,926
- She was robbed. They stole her.
- Oh, I see.
31
00:02:26,973 --> 00:02:31,410
Terrible when an old person can't
walk the street without being stolen.
32
00:02:31,453 --> 00:02:33,330
It is.
33
00:02:37,012 --> 00:02:40,288
Come on, Dougal.
I don't want any accidents.
34
00:02:40,332 --> 00:02:43,768
There's Mrs Dineen, Father.
You can drop me off here.
35
00:02:43,812 --> 00:02:45,450
Right so.
36
00:02:47,652 --> 00:02:50,644
- Hello, Father Crilly.
- Hello, Mrs Dineen.
37
00:02:50,692 --> 00:02:54,366
(Mrs Doyle ) We'll go
to the tea shop for a bit of a chat.
38
00:02:54,411 --> 00:02:56,208
Right so. Bye now.
39
00:03:04,891 --> 00:03:08,724
God, Dougal, imagine spending
any more time with those tw..
40
00:03:08,770 --> 00:03:10,681
(Brakes screech)
41
00:03:13,770 --> 00:03:16,159
Oh, 200 big ones, Dougal!
42
00:03:18,690 --> 00:03:20,282
What?
43
00:03:20,330 --> 00:03:23,605
Oh, God, Ted. I'm so happy.
44
00:03:23,649 --> 00:03:27,164
The sun's out
and we're in an opticians.
45
00:03:27,209 --> 00:03:29,848
It doesn't get any better than this.
46
00:03:29,889 --> 00:03:33,768
God, Ted! I just remembered.
I forgot to have any breakfast.
47
00:03:33,809 --> 00:03:37,006
( # Dramatic music)
48
00:03:37,049 --> 00:03:39,846
We'll get something later,
don't worry.
49
00:03:39,888 --> 00:03:42,356
Oh, God, Ted, I'm so hungry.
50
00:03:42,408 --> 00:03:47,243
There's no chance... I couldn't die,
could I? From the hunger?
51
00:03:47,288 --> 00:03:49,722
I don't think so.
Not for a few hours.
52
00:03:49,768 --> 00:03:51,998
I'm finished now, Father.
53
00:03:55,167 --> 00:03:57,635
Well, I must say, I'm confused.
54
00:03:57,687 --> 00:04:00,326
His eyesight is better
then ever before.
55
00:04:00,367 --> 00:04:04,246
He read right to the last line
and even I can't see that one.
56
00:04:07,967 --> 00:04:10,799
Ah...I think I know what happened.
57
00:04:10,846 --> 00:04:14,043
Father Jack has a fondness
for saying that word.
58
00:04:14,086 --> 00:04:17,396
Oh, I didn't know.
I've not used that chart before.
59
00:04:17,446 --> 00:04:20,085
I got it free
with a crate of Carlsberg.
60
00:04:20,126 --> 00:04:23,960
Do you have anything to eat?
Chips or a burger or a few chops?
61
00:04:24,006 --> 00:04:27,156
I'm out of my head with the hunger.
62
00:04:27,205 --> 00:04:30,117
No. I'll, er,
just get the other chart.
63
00:04:30,165 --> 00:04:32,884
So, what happened
to his last glasses?
64
00:04:32,925 --> 00:04:38,158
No idea. He went out of the house
for a few minutes and they were gone!
65
00:04:38,205 --> 00:04:40,672
(Ted) Dougal, you forgot your scarf.
66
00:04:47,524 --> 00:04:49,321
(Bird squawking)
67
00:04:55,843 --> 00:04:58,596
Fathers, this will take some time.
68
00:04:58,643 --> 00:05:01,601
Oh, we'll head off.
Come on, we'll go to the caves.
69
00:05:01,643 --> 00:05:03,634
Hurray!
70
00:05:03,683 --> 00:05:08,393
Now, this chart is from Slovakia's
premiere lens manufacturers,
71
00:05:08,443 --> 00:05:11,161
Feck Arse Industries.
72
00:05:15,362 --> 00:05:17,239
You remember Mrs kiernan?
73
00:05:17,282 --> 00:05:19,921
Well, she was shopping
the other day
74
00:05:19,962 --> 00:05:23,796
and a man came over to her
and killed her and stole her pen!
75
00:05:23,842 --> 00:05:25,639
killed her?
76
00:05:25,682 --> 00:05:29,356
Well, they think so.
They're keeping her in for tests.
77
00:05:30,601 --> 00:05:33,559
Well, you know what
happened to Mr Sweeney?
78
00:05:33,601 --> 00:05:37,514
Some fellas broke into his house
and started messing with him...
79
00:05:38,761 --> 00:05:41,354
and they put a bra on him.
80
00:05:42,320 --> 00:05:46,791
Oh, God, poor Mr Sweeney.
He wouldn't like that at all.
81
00:05:46,840 --> 00:05:50,071
I heard there were
200 cases of forced transvestism
82
00:05:50,120 --> 00:05:52,156
involving Mr Sweeney last year.
83
00:05:53,480 --> 00:05:56,677
Oh, it's terrible.
What's the world coming to?
84
00:06:04,559 --> 00:06:06,993
Steady, Dougal.
85
00:06:07,039 --> 00:06:09,348
Right, one more. Steady.
86
00:06:15,678 --> 00:06:19,353
God Almighty!
Look who it is! It's that actor.
87
00:06:19,398 --> 00:06:22,435
- Who?
- The man from One Foot In The Grave,
88
00:06:22,478 --> 00:06:26,312
- the "I don't believe it" man!
- Oh, wow!
89
00:06:26,358 --> 00:06:28,632
(Ted) That's amazing. Look at him.
90
00:06:31,957 --> 00:06:34,551
- Do you know what he'd love?
- What?
91
00:06:34,597 --> 00:06:37,555
If somebody went up
and said his catchphrase.
92
00:06:37,597 --> 00:06:41,146
Yeah! He'd love that.
You should definitely do that.
93
00:06:41,197 --> 00:06:45,474
- Should I?
- I'd say no one ever does that!
94
00:06:45,516 --> 00:06:47,552
He'll think you're hilarious.
95
00:06:47,596 --> 00:06:53,114
This is one of these times when I'm
absolutely sure it's the right thing.
96
00:06:53,156 --> 00:06:57,752
I can safely say you definitely,
definitely won't regret doing that.
97
00:06:57,796 --> 00:06:59,786
- I'm going to do it!
- Brilliant!
98
00:06:59,835 --> 00:07:01,826
- Will I?
- Yeah! Go on!
99
00:07:01,875 --> 00:07:03,866
Hold the camera.
100
00:07:18,154 --> 00:07:20,748
I don't believe it!
101
00:07:54,752 --> 00:07:56,902
(Wilson ) I'll bloody well kill you!
102
00:08:08,831 --> 00:08:11,903
Well, what did he say?
Did he laugh?
103
00:08:11,951 --> 00:08:16,148
No, no, no, not really.
I'm going to sit down now.
104
00:08:16,190 --> 00:08:20,980
Oh, God, no! I could never be
one of those have-a-go heroes.
105
00:08:21,030 --> 00:08:23,863
I didn't know my own strength.
106
00:08:23,910 --> 00:08:25,901
I heard his arm snap...
107
00:08:25,950 --> 00:08:30,865
then it was just a case of lying on
top of him until the filth arrived.
108
00:08:32,469 --> 00:08:36,064
We'd better be off, Mrs Doyle.
I'll get this.
109
00:08:36,109 --> 00:08:39,306
Oh, no, Mrs Dineen. I'll get this.
110
00:08:39,349 --> 00:08:42,705
No, now don't be silly. I'll pay.
111
00:08:42,749 --> 00:08:45,661
You won't! Put that away.
112
00:08:45,709 --> 00:08:47,983
Now, don't be stupid, Mrs Doyle.
113
00:08:48,028 --> 00:08:50,258
No, no, no, no!
114
00:08:50,308 --> 00:08:52,617
Now, just put your money away.
115
00:08:52,668 --> 00:08:55,785
You're mad! No, no, no, no.
116
00:09:03,907 --> 00:09:06,705
(Crow screeching, Jack shouting)
117
00:09:10,347 --> 00:09:12,907
Fecking birds again.
118
00:09:35,145 --> 00:09:37,022
Drink!
119
00:09:45,905 --> 00:09:48,816
Take the money! Take the money!
120
00:09:48,864 --> 00:09:51,298
(Both shouting and screaming)
121
00:09:51,344 --> 00:09:52,982
Get off!
122
00:09:53,024 --> 00:09:56,858
- I'm writing a cheque.
- No, you're not!
123
00:09:56,904 --> 00:09:59,338
- I am.
- Give me that cheque book!
124
00:09:59,384 --> 00:10:01,375
Hello, police?
125
00:10:05,463 --> 00:10:07,294
(Chatter)
126
00:10:07,343 --> 00:10:08,935
(Man ) We understand.
127
00:10:08,983 --> 00:10:12,419
Then...I was drinking
over a pint of vodka a day.
128
00:10:12,463 --> 00:10:14,738
Yes!
129
00:10:15,903 --> 00:10:19,497
Yes. All I could think about
was where to get the next drink.
130
00:10:19,542 --> 00:10:21,772
Drink!
131
00:10:22,542 --> 00:10:25,534
I didn't give a damn about
my wife or kids.
132
00:10:25,582 --> 00:10:27,254
Nah!
133
00:10:28,262 --> 00:10:32,016
Now, with all of your help,
I'm coming through it.
134
00:10:32,062 --> 00:10:34,894
I'm just taking it one day at a time.
135
00:10:34,941 --> 00:10:36,977
(Group ) That's good.
136
00:10:39,221 --> 00:10:44,090
Thank you, Ronald. Now, I notice
we have a new member with us today.
137
00:10:45,141 --> 00:10:48,372
Father? Would you like
to tell us your story?
138
00:10:54,180 --> 00:10:55,579
Drink!
139
00:10:59,540 --> 00:11:01,576
Drink!
140
00:11:03,580 --> 00:11:06,855
- Drink!
- We hear you. Let it all out.
141
00:11:08,139 --> 00:11:10,175
Drink!
142
00:11:10,619 --> 00:11:13,611
It's so true. So true...
143
00:11:17,019 --> 00:11:18,930
This rock here is granite.
144
00:11:18,979 --> 00:11:22,971
- How long has that been there?
- Oh, many millions of years.
145
00:11:23,018 --> 00:11:26,647
Really? As long as that?
That is fascinating.
146
00:11:27,858 --> 00:11:30,895
How come all the rocks
are different sizes?
147
00:11:30,938 --> 00:11:34,931
Well, you know...rocks are
generally different sizes.
148
00:11:34,978 --> 00:11:39,095
Wow! I'm finding out
all kinds of new things about rocks.
149
00:11:40,657 --> 00:11:44,172
Of course, at this time,
most of the area was under water.
150
00:11:45,417 --> 00:11:49,092
- How did everyone breathe?
- They had some sort of apparatus.
151
00:11:49,137 --> 00:11:52,128
Right. Wow! Look at that rock
over there.
152
00:11:52,176 --> 00:11:54,610
This is the oldest part of our tour.
153
00:11:54,656 --> 00:11:57,614
This cave was formed
15 million years ago.
154
00:11:57,656 --> 00:12:00,489
Wow. I don't believe it.
155
00:12:01,976 --> 00:12:03,853
You again.
156
00:12:03,896 --> 00:12:06,888
Get out of it.
I never want to see you again.
157
00:12:08,815 --> 00:12:10,851
Bastard!
158
00:12:12,135 --> 00:12:14,171
That path's not open to the...
159
00:12:15,215 --> 00:12:18,093
Mr Wilson,
could I say how sorry I am.
160
00:12:18,135 --> 00:12:22,526
That's all right. I just don't
want to hear that bloody catchphrase.
161
00:12:23,494 --> 00:12:26,327
(Thinks ) 'I don't believe it!
162
00:12:26,374 --> 00:12:29,047
'I don't believe it!!'
163
00:12:30,734 --> 00:12:32,770
I'm sure we came in this way.
164
00:12:32,814 --> 00:12:36,045
Ted, I'm so hungry
I'm beginning to hallucinate.
165
00:12:36,094 --> 00:12:40,962
Don't exaggerate. And stop worrying,
we'll get out of here in no time.
166
00:12:41,013 --> 00:12:43,573
Let's try this way.
167
00:12:43,613 --> 00:12:47,083
- (Ghostly wail)
- Ted, what's that?
168
00:12:47,973 --> 00:12:51,886
- What's what?
- Oooooh!
169
00:12:53,812 --> 00:12:56,007
Ted!
170
00:12:59,812 --> 00:13:03,248
# I see a little silhouetto of a man
Scaramouch, Scaramouch
171
00:13:03,292 --> 00:13:05,010
# Will you do the fandango?
172
00:13:05,052 --> 00:13:07,566
# Thunderbolt and lightning
Very very frightening
173
00:13:07,612 --> 00:13:08,885
# Me
174
00:13:08,931 --> 00:13:11,445
# Galileo, Galileo, Galileo, Galileo
175
00:13:11,491 --> 00:13:14,608
# Galileo, Figaro, magnifico-o-o-o
176
00:13:14,651 --> 00:13:16,846
# I'm just a poor boy nobody loves me
177
00:13:16,891 --> 00:13:19,451
# He's just a poor boy
from a poor family
178
00:13:19,491 --> 00:13:22,563
# Save him his life
from this monstrosity
179
00:13:22,611 --> 00:13:25,920
# Easy come, easy go, will you
let me go? Bismillah! No!
180
00:13:25,970 --> 00:13:27,642
# We will not let you go
181
00:13:27,690 --> 00:13:30,568
# Bismillah, will not let you go
Let me go
182
00:13:30,610 --> 00:13:33,727
# No, no, no,
no, no, no, NO... #
183
00:13:33,770 --> 00:13:36,762
- Noel, I've...
- # Mama Mia, let me go
184
00:13:36,810 --> 00:13:40,324
# Beelzebub has a devil
put aside for me
185
00:13:40,369 --> 00:13:42,325
# For me
186
00:13:42,369 --> 00:13:45,327
# For me #
187
00:13:50,249 --> 00:13:52,888
As I was saying...
188
00:13:52,929 --> 00:13:57,001
we should try and find an exit
before the caves close.
189
00:13:57,048 --> 00:14:00,245
- Good idea, Father.
- How long have you been in here?
190
00:14:00,288 --> 00:14:04,167
Two days now, Father.
At least, I think it's two days.
191
00:14:04,208 --> 00:14:06,358
We've been having a great laugh!
192
00:14:08,728 --> 00:14:14,006
I er...I just think that everyone
would like to get out and get home.
193
00:14:14,047 --> 00:14:18,837
Who can screech the loudest?
Let's have a screeching competition!
194
00:14:18,887 --> 00:14:20,878
I'll go first...
195
00:14:21,727 --> 00:14:23,718
Gerry Fields, your go.
196
00:14:23,767 --> 00:14:25,917
- I'd rather not, Father.
- Go on!
197
00:14:27,366 --> 00:14:31,325
- It's easy-peasy!
- I really think we should get out.
198
00:14:31,366 --> 00:14:36,201
God, maybe you're right. If not,
we might have to eat each other!
199
00:14:36,246 --> 00:14:39,636
Like in that film Alive,
where they get in a plane crash
200
00:14:39,686 --> 00:14:42,438
and they have to eat
all their friends.
201
00:14:42,485 --> 00:14:44,635
Look! Here's me eating Tony!
202
00:14:46,805 --> 00:14:50,081
Tony's going,
"No, get off me, I'm not dead yet!"
203
00:14:51,205 --> 00:14:55,039
I'd be going,
"But I'm hungry, Tony."
204
00:14:55,085 --> 00:14:58,872
And Tony'd be, "Oh, no,
go away," wouldn't you, Tony?
205
00:15:00,564 --> 00:15:05,274
Here's Tony's parents when they hear
that I've eaten Tony!
206
00:15:07,404 --> 00:15:10,396
"Why did you eat Tony?
He was our only son."
207
00:15:11,724 --> 00:15:15,079
Then, I'd be at the funeral.
208
00:15:15,123 --> 00:15:17,796
I'd be going,
"Better not show my..."
209
00:15:17,843 --> 00:15:19,799
Will you shut up, will you?
210
00:15:19,843 --> 00:15:24,473
Will you please shut up?
Will you shut up, shut up, shut up?
211
00:15:31,962 --> 00:15:33,315
Well...
212
00:15:35,442 --> 00:15:37,433
Well, I've never...
213
00:15:37,962 --> 00:15:39,600
I've never...
214
00:15:40,642 --> 00:15:43,872
Tony, I'm putting you
on my list of enemies.
215
00:15:49,401 --> 00:15:53,076
There... You're in for it now, Tony.
216
00:15:54,681 --> 00:15:57,400
Ha! Only joking!
Look what I've written!
217
00:16:00,360 --> 00:16:03,636
Come on, someone else
for the screeching competition.
218
00:16:03,680 --> 00:16:07,673
Janine Reilly, she'd love a go!
Go on, it's easy!
219
00:16:10,400 --> 00:16:12,356
I wouldn't do that, Noel.
220
00:16:15,359 --> 00:16:17,111
Seriously, Noel.
221
00:16:27,199 --> 00:16:31,032
So, it was me,
Father Collis and Father Duggan,
222
00:16:31,078 --> 00:16:34,627
and you'd think that
someone like Chris Evans
223
00:16:34,678 --> 00:16:38,910
wouldn't want to hang around with us.
And you'd be right!
224
00:16:38,958 --> 00:16:41,916
He didn't want to hang around
with us at all!
225
00:16:41,958 --> 00:16:44,994
Ted, I'm going mad.
226
00:16:47,477 --> 00:16:52,073
Yes, Noel, are you not worried about
being trapped under those rocks?
227
00:16:52,117 --> 00:16:54,631
Not at all!
You're here to keep me company
228
00:16:54,677 --> 00:16:57,794
and the Youth Group
will be back with help soon.
229
00:16:57,837 --> 00:17:01,988
They said they'd find the tour guide,
tell him what happened,
230
00:17:02,036 --> 00:17:03,628
and come right back.
231
00:17:03,676 --> 00:17:05,871
That's four tickets to Paraguay.
232
00:17:07,916 --> 00:17:10,988
But I liked The English Patient.
233
00:17:11,036 --> 00:17:14,233
Mmm. Very confusing and far-fetched
234
00:17:14,276 --> 00:17:16,391
and very, very boring.
235
00:17:16,435 --> 00:17:18,995
It was my kind of film. Hmm.
236
00:17:19,035 --> 00:17:22,107
Oh, oh. I like The Piano as well.
237
00:17:22,155 --> 00:17:25,909
Did you see Harvey k eitel
running around in the nip!
238
00:17:25,955 --> 00:17:27,911
Did you see that, Ted?
239
00:17:31,514 --> 00:17:33,948
Ted? Ted?
240
00:17:34,834 --> 00:17:38,713
I hate leaving Noel but we can't help
by just listening to him.
241
00:17:38,754 --> 00:17:41,632
At least he'll be safe
under those rocks.
242
00:17:42,914 --> 00:17:45,667
Let's just get out
then worry about Noel.
243
00:17:45,714 --> 00:17:47,829
God, where is this exit?
244
00:17:50,113 --> 00:17:54,265
Aah! Ted, my tank top has turned into
some sort of woman's bra!
245
00:17:56,113 --> 00:17:57,944
What?
246
00:17:57,993 --> 00:18:00,063
It's after unravelling.
247
00:18:01,793 --> 00:18:03,783
Oh, my God, Dougal!
248
00:18:06,272 --> 00:18:08,502
We can find our way back with this.
249
00:18:08,552 --> 00:18:13,103
You must have snagged it. If we
use this, we can find our way out.
250
00:18:13,152 --> 00:18:16,747
Thank God, Dougal!
We'll be out in no time.
251
00:18:16,792 --> 00:18:20,147
Should you be winding it up?
Shouldn't we follow it?
252
00:18:20,191 --> 00:18:21,510
What?
253
00:18:21,551 --> 00:18:25,180
What use will it be
when you've finished winding it up?
254
00:18:26,431 --> 00:18:28,865
I don't believe it.
255
00:18:32,871 --> 00:18:37,182
(Ted's voice echoing)
I don't believe it...believe it...
256
00:18:37,230 --> 00:18:42,429
Believe it... I don't believe it...
257
00:18:42,470 --> 00:18:45,826
(Echo continues )
258
00:18:45,870 --> 00:18:48,179
(Screams )
259
00:18:50,789 --> 00:18:52,188
Pub.
260
00:18:52,229 --> 00:18:53,947
Drink.
261
00:18:54,549 --> 00:18:59,145
Drink. Drink, drink, drink, drink.
262
00:19:06,708 --> 00:19:10,178
Don't do it, Father.
I won't let you do it.
263
00:19:10,228 --> 00:19:13,140
I know it hurts
but you'll thank me for...
264
00:19:18,428 --> 00:19:20,224
Oh, thank God.
265
00:19:23,827 --> 00:19:28,264
There's someone buried in the caves.
He's Ok but you should go quickly.
266
00:19:28,307 --> 00:19:32,220
Please hurry. Come on,
I want to go before they rescue him.
267
00:19:48,186 --> 00:19:52,019
Come on, Dougal, relax.
The food will be here in a minute.
268
00:19:52,065 --> 00:19:53,862
(Telephone rings )
269
00:19:55,305 --> 00:19:56,420
Hello?
270
00:19:56,465 --> 00:19:59,980
- Is that Father Crilly?
- Yes, this is him.
271
00:20:00,025 --> 00:20:04,098
We've been looking for you all night.
Do you know a Mrs Doyle?
272
00:20:04,145 --> 00:20:06,863
First name, Mrs...
(Fire bell rings ) ..Doyle?
273
00:20:08,184 --> 00:20:13,656
Er, do I know a Mrs...
(Plates smash) ..Doyle? Erm...
274
00:20:13,704 --> 00:20:15,899
We do, Ted.
275
00:20:15,944 --> 00:20:18,583
Yes, she's our housekeeper.
276
00:20:18,624 --> 00:20:24,061
Can you come to the police station?
She's been in a spot of trouble.
277
00:20:24,103 --> 00:20:27,982
Now, Mrs Dineen,
if there's a fine, I'll pay it.
278
00:20:29,263 --> 00:20:32,494
- No, no, no...
- Thank you, Father.
279
00:20:36,382 --> 00:20:38,373
Father Hackett!
280
00:20:39,422 --> 00:20:42,255
Dougal, there's no time to eat that.
281
00:20:42,302 --> 00:20:45,931
We have to get Mrs Doyle
and Mrs Dineen... (Phone rings )
282
00:20:45,982 --> 00:20:50,453
..and Father Jack out of prison.
Come on.
283
00:20:53,381 --> 00:20:55,417
I'm very, very sorry.
284
00:20:59,021 --> 00:21:02,980
You wouldn't have a lasagne
or a chicken curry or something?
285
00:21:03,021 --> 00:21:04,977
No.
286
00:21:05,021 --> 00:21:08,695
Ok, I'll just have a bag of chips
and a Fanta orange as well.
287
00:21:09,780 --> 00:21:11,736
This is a police station.
288
00:21:11,780 --> 00:21:16,535
Right...in that case, just
the chicken satay and pilau rice.
289
00:21:17,900 --> 00:21:21,131
I hope you don't think
this happens all the time.
290
00:21:21,180 --> 00:21:23,773
We're not all criminals
in the church.
291
00:21:23,819 --> 00:21:26,287
I hope this won't put you off Mass.
292
00:21:26,339 --> 00:21:28,409
I'm a Protestant, Father.
293
00:21:28,459 --> 00:21:30,689
Really? Ah...
294
00:21:31,899 --> 00:21:37,292
It's a straight choice, Father -
a �200 fine or a night in the cells.
295
00:21:39,058 --> 00:21:43,449
Well, I wouldn't have
that kind of money on me.
296
00:21:43,498 --> 00:21:48,936
In the circumstances, a night in
the cells might be the better option.
297
00:21:50,018 --> 00:21:51,849
- Ted...
- Shut up, Dougal.
298
00:21:51,898 --> 00:21:53,694
- Ted.
- Dougal, be quiet.
299
00:21:53,737 --> 00:21:56,092
- I was...
- All right, all right!
300
00:21:56,137 --> 00:21:59,732
Here. Here's your blood money!
But let me say this,
301
00:21:59,777 --> 00:22:02,575
once, the police
were friends of the Church.
302
00:22:02,617 --> 00:22:05,927
Drunk-driving charges quashed,
parking tickets torn up.
303
00:22:05,977 --> 00:22:08,366
Even a blind eye to murder but now...
304
00:22:08,417 --> 00:22:11,408
And you, are you satisfied?
I gave him the money.
305
00:22:11,456 --> 00:22:15,415
"Ted, give him the �200 you won."
Well, I did. Happy?
306
00:22:15,456 --> 00:22:20,371
Once again, you've made me look
an idiot in front of real people.
307
00:22:21,576 --> 00:22:23,771
Thank you so much.
308
00:22:23,816 --> 00:22:28,013
Right, to be honest, Ted,
I forgot you had the money.
309
00:22:28,055 --> 00:22:30,205
I was going to say your fly's open.
310
00:22:45,854 --> 00:22:50,450
God, what did I say? There's always
trouble on the mainland.
311
00:22:50,494 --> 00:22:54,885
I'm never going there again
unless it's completely unavoidable.
312
00:22:54,934 --> 00:22:57,288
Which, it isn't. Unfortunately.
313
00:23:00,653 --> 00:23:02,484
(Door bell)
314
00:23:13,292 --> 00:23:15,886
Oh...I...I...
315
00:23:15,932 --> 00:23:18,890
don't believe it!
316
00:23:49,210 --> 00:23:53,567
# Fat bottomed girls they make
the rocking world go round #
24401
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