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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:01:30,001 --> 00:01:35,914 And that reminds me of a story that's so 2 00:01:35,926 --> 00:01:42,000 dirty, I'm ashamed to think about myself. 3 00:01:42,001 --> 00:01:45,000 That's not Martin Tupper, is it? 4 00:01:45,001 --> 00:01:48,000 Still a connoisseur of the arts, I see. 5 00:01:48,001 --> 00:01:51,000 Oh, geez, what a surprise. 6 00:01:51,001 --> 00:01:53,000 Lauren Phipps. 7 00:01:53,001 --> 00:01:56,000 Phipps Tuberfarb and I finally got married. 8 00:01:56,001 --> 00:01:58,000 He's German. 9 00:01:58,001 --> 00:02:00,000 Hello. 10 00:02:00,001 --> 00:02:01,000 Lucky you. 11 00:02:01,001 --> 00:02:03,000 Oh, Martin, look at you. 12 00:02:03,001 --> 00:02:06,000 What a change from high school. 13 00:02:06,001 --> 00:02:09,000 You finally grew into your nose. 14 00:02:09,001 --> 00:02:12,000 That thing between your eyes, just above your mouth. 15 00:02:12,001 --> 00:02:16,000 Anyway, I got to grab that copy of Kickbox or two over there before somebody 16 00:02:16,001 --> 00:04:32,100 else does. 17 00:02:16,001 --> 00:02:19,000 It's nice seeing you. 18 00:02:19,001 --> 00:02:25,000 God, everyone's changed so much. 19 00:02:25,001 --> 00:02:29,000 Do you remember Cindy Dubrov and Michael Zipperstein? 20 00:02:29,001 --> 00:02:31,000 I want to dance. 21 00:02:31,001 --> 00:02:33,000 Ooh, ow! 22 00:02:33,001 --> 00:02:34,000 Dead. 23 00:02:34,001 --> 00:02:36,000 Fell out of an airplane. 24 00:02:36,001 --> 00:02:38,000 Okay, well, it's nice seeing you. 25 00:02:38,001 --> 00:02:40,000 Oh, you're never going to guess who I ran into. 26 00:02:40,001 --> 00:02:43,000 Cheryl Castorini. 27 00:02:43,001 --> 00:02:45,000 She's ready now. 28 00:02:45,001 --> 00:02:47,000 You're kidding. 29 00:02:47,001 --> 00:02:49,000 How's she doing? Is she married? 30 00:02:49,001 --> 00:02:51,000 Oh, no. 31 00:02:51,001 --> 00:02:52,889 A woman with an illegitimate daughter, 32 00:02:52,901 --> 00:02:55,000 it's practically impossible to find a man. 33 00:02:55,001 --> 00:02:57,000 I didn't know Cheryl had a daughter. 34 00:02:57,001 --> 00:03:01,000 Oh, sure. She's only had one for 20 years. 35 00:03:01,001 --> 00:03:04,000 What are you talking about? 36 00:03:04,001 --> 00:03:06,000 That would mean she had a baby in high school. 37 00:03:06,001 --> 00:03:09,000 Yes, yes, it would, wouldn't it? 38 00:03:09,001 --> 00:03:12,000 And I wonder who could have gotten her pregnant. 39 00:03:12,001 --> 00:03:15,000 [muffled screaming] 40 00:03:15,001 --> 00:03:17,000 Let's see. 41 00:03:17,001 --> 00:03:19,261 I seem to remember you two spending 42 00:03:19,273 --> 00:03:22,000 all of senior year joined at the tonsils . 43 00:03:22,001 --> 00:03:25,000 The evidence leads to only one conclusion. 44 00:03:25,001 --> 00:03:28,000 But she wasn't pregnant. I mean, I... 45 00:03:28,001 --> 00:03:31,000 I know what a pregnant person looks like, and she wasn't one. 46 00:03:31,001 --> 00:03:34,000 Oh, really? Then why did she disappear for four months, hmm? 47 00:03:34,001 --> 00:03:36,426 Oh, don't tell me you bought that story 48 00:03:36,438 --> 00:03:39,000 about a sudden family vacation to France. 49 00:03:39,001 --> 00:03:41,000 Yes, I did. I did buy it. 50 00:03:41,001 --> 00:03:44,000 And a sap. A sentimental, stupid, gullible sap. 51 00:03:44,001 --> 00:03:46,000 Oh, my God. 52 00:03:46,001 --> 00:03:48,000 Well, surprise. 53 00:03:48,001 --> 00:03:52,000 Oh, and a belated congratulations. 54 00:03:52,001 --> 00:03:56,000 We thought you were dead, Papa. 55 00:03:56,001 --> 00:03:58,000 We had lost all hope. 56 00:03:58,001 --> 00:04:09,000 I have huge news, huge, life-changing news. You know, it's the hugest. 57 00:04:09,001 --> 00:04:11,000 I'm ready. 58 00:04:11,001 --> 00:04:13,000 I have a kid. 59 00:04:13,001 --> 00:04:15,000 Jeremy. 60 00:04:15,001 --> 00:04:17,000 No, no, no, not that kid. 61 00:04:17,001 --> 00:04:19,000 Another kid. I have a 20-year-old daughter. 62 00:04:19,001 --> 00:04:21,000 Since when? 63 00:04:21,001 --> 00:04:23,000 Since 20 years ago. 64 00:04:23,001 --> 00:04:27,000 Do you remember when Cheryl Castorini went to France? 65 00:04:27,001 --> 00:04:28,000 Yeah. 66 00:04:28,001 --> 00:04:31,000 Well, she didn't go to France. She was having a baby. My baby. 67 00:04:31,001 --> 00:04:33,000 Are you shitting me? 68 00:04:33,001 --> 00:04:34,000 No, I am not shitting you. 69 00:04:34,001 --> 00:04:36,000 Lauren Tubelfarben told me. 70 00:04:36,001 --> 00:04:38,000 Tubelfarben. Vips. 71 00:04:38,001 --> 00:04:41,000 Vips. Vips. Vips. Lauren Vips. 72 00:04:41,001 --> 00:04:44,025 I ran into her last night, and she told me 73 00:04:44,037 --> 00:04:47,000 that Cheryl's kid was... What was my kid? 74 00:04:47,001 --> 00:04:49,000 Oh, my God. 75 00:04:49,001 --> 00:04:51,000 Who would marry Lauren Vips? 76 00:04:51,001 --> 00:04:54,000 I'm sorry. I'm sorry. This is huge. 77 00:04:54,001 --> 00:04:56,000 Huge. Yes, yes, yes, it is huge. 78 00:04:56,001 --> 00:04:58,000 What am I gonna do? 79 00:04:58,001 --> 00:05:01,000 Eddie. 80 00:05:01,001 --> 00:05:03,000 What would you do? 81 00:05:07,000 --> 00:05:09,000 I don't know. 82 00:05:09,001 --> 00:05:13,000 No, um... I would want to meet her. 83 00:05:13,001 --> 00:05:17,000 You know, get to know her. Definitely get to know her. 84 00:05:17,001 --> 00:05:20,000 I mean, she's your daughter. 85 00:05:20,001 --> 00:05:24,000 I'm awful crazy about you too, Daddy. 86 00:05:24,001 --> 00:05:26,000 Yeah. 87 00:05:26,001 --> 00:05:29,000 Yeah, yeah. I get you right. 88 00:05:29,001 --> 00:05:33,000 And besides, you wouldn't want to accidentally pick her up in a bar or 89 00:05:33,001 --> 00:05:34,000 something, you know? 90 00:05:34,001 --> 00:05:37,000 Tell me what's your way, kid, and I'll buy you a doll. 91 00:05:37,001 --> 00:05:48,000 Cheryl. 92 00:05:48,001 --> 00:05:50,000 You're early. 93 00:05:50,001 --> 00:05:53,000 Well, I couldn't wait to see you. 94 00:05:53,001 --> 00:05:56,000 It's easier. You look terrific. 95 00:05:56,001 --> 00:05:59,000 Oh, thanks. You know, you didn't have to come all the way up. 96 00:05:59,001 --> 00:06:01,000 I wouldn't mention the lobby. 97 00:06:01,001 --> 00:06:04,000 Oh, no, no. Happy to do it. You know me. 98 00:06:04,001 --> 00:06:07,000 You voted most likely to climb stairs. 99 00:06:07,001 --> 00:06:09,000 This is for you. 100 00:06:09,001 --> 00:06:11,000 Oh, thanks. 101 00:06:11,001 --> 00:06:15,000 Well, let's go. 102 00:06:15,001 --> 00:06:18,000 Have a hunch on this one. 103 00:06:18,001 --> 00:06:20,000 They don't pay off on hunches, kid. 104 00:06:20,001 --> 00:06:22,000 There's a little thing you need called evidence. 105 00:06:22,001 --> 00:06:26,000 Uh... aren't you gonna take that to the kitchen? 106 00:06:26,001 --> 00:06:28,000 Why? 107 00:06:28,001 --> 00:06:31,000 Well, because I was hoping maybe you'd bring me back a glass of water. 108 00:06:31,001 --> 00:06:34,000 I'm kind of parched, you know? All those stairs. 109 00:06:34,001 --> 00:06:37,000 Oh, okay. Back in a minute. 110 00:06:37,001 --> 00:06:43,000 You know, I'm not 18 anymore, you know? 111 00:06:43,001 --> 00:06:45,000 No! 112 00:06:45,001 --> 00:06:47,000 Can't climb the way I used to. 113 00:06:47,001 --> 00:06:50,000 Used to take them two or three at a time. 114 00:06:50,001 --> 00:06:54,000 This is a certain resemblance to me, don't you think? 115 00:06:54,001 --> 00:06:56,000 Or do I chatter myself? 116 00:06:56,001 --> 00:06:58,000 She's cute, isn't she? 117 00:06:58,001 --> 00:07:02,000 Oh, yeah. Yeah, she looks just like you. 118 00:07:02,001 --> 00:07:04,000 Who is she? 119 00:07:04,001 --> 00:07:06,000 Oh, it's my cousin. 120 00:07:06,001 --> 00:07:07,489 This place, if you're even like a minute 121 00:07:07,501 --> 00:07:09,000 late, they like to give away your table. 122 00:07:09,001 --> 00:07:12,000 It's sort of their gimmick, so we should get going. 123 00:07:12,001 --> 00:07:15,000 Oh. I ain't going no place till I finish what I came here to do. 124 00:07:15,001 --> 00:07:17,000 Okay. 125 00:07:17,001 --> 00:07:21,000 Linda! We have neighbors, you know! 126 00:07:21,001 --> 00:07:22,000 Eureka! 127 00:07:22,001 --> 00:07:24,000 Linda? 128 00:07:24,001 --> 00:07:26,000 Who's Linda? 129 00:07:26,001 --> 00:07:31,000 Oh. Um... Uh, my daughter. 130 00:07:31,001 --> 00:07:34,000 My flesh and blood, my heart, my brains. 131 00:07:34,001 --> 00:07:37,000 Oh. Right. 132 00:07:37,001 --> 00:07:40,000 Right. Lauren Phipps Tubelfarben said you had a daughter. 133 00:07:40,001 --> 00:07:42,000 I'd love to meet her. 134 00:07:42,001 --> 00:07:44,000 Yeah. 135 00:07:44,001 --> 00:07:48,000 Martin, there's something I have to talk to you about. 136 00:07:48,001 --> 00:07:53,000 You remember senior year when I went away to France? 137 00:07:53,001 --> 00:07:56,000 Keep calm, everybody. There's nothing to be afraid of. I'll handle it. 138 00:07:56,001 --> 00:07:58,000 You are having my baby! I knew it! 139 00:07:58,001 --> 00:08:02,000 I knew it! How could you let this go on for 20 years without telling me, Don 140 00:08:02,001 --> 00:08:03,000 't you think I have her right? 141 00:08:03,001 --> 00:08:07,000 Mom! Are you reading my Hubert Selby book in the tub again? 142 00:08:07,001 --> 00:08:11,000 Oh. I'm sorry. 143 00:08:11,001 --> 00:08:13,000 Hi. 144 00:08:13,001 --> 00:08:19,000 I'll leave you two alone. 145 00:08:20,000 --> 00:08:22,000 I am standing around with egg on my face. 146 00:08:22,001 --> 00:08:24,000 She's black. I know. 147 00:08:24,001 --> 00:08:26,000 And that would make me an idiot. 148 00:08:26,001 --> 00:08:28,000 Right. 149 00:08:28,001 --> 00:08:32,000 Who's her father? 150 00:08:32,001 --> 00:08:35,000 Eddie Charles. 151 00:08:35,001 --> 00:08:37,000 See that again? Oh my God. 152 00:08:37,001 --> 00:08:39,000 Yeah. 153 00:08:39,001 --> 00:08:41,000 You said Eddie. 154 00:08:41,001 --> 00:08:43,000 What's that? 155 00:08:43,001 --> 00:08:45,000 Eddie. 156 00:08:45,001 --> 00:08:49,000 See that again? Oh my God. Yeah. 157 00:08:49,001 --> 00:08:53,000 You slept with Eddie? How could you? I gave you my ID bracelet. 158 00:08:53,001 --> 00:08:55,000 I know. I'm sorry. It was a mistake. 159 00:08:55,001 --> 00:08:59,000 A mistake? A mistake? Putting your shirt on backwards. That's a mistake. 160 00:08:59,001 --> 00:09:01,000 Salt in your cereal. That is a mistake. 161 00:09:01,001 --> 00:09:03,272 Hey, Martin. It was 20 years ago, all 162 00:09:03,284 --> 00:09:06,000 right? I said I'm sorry. Can we let it drop? 163 00:09:06,001 --> 00:09:10,000 Okay. 164 00:09:10,001 --> 00:09:13,000 Okay, okay. You're right. 165 00:09:13,001 --> 00:09:15,000 All right. 166 00:09:15,001 --> 00:09:19,000 It was after the bonfire, wasn't it? Flat tire my ass. 167 00:09:19,001 --> 00:09:21,000 Martin. 168 00:09:21,001 --> 00:09:23,000 All right. 169 00:09:23,001 --> 00:09:25,000 All right. 170 00:09:25,001 --> 00:09:28,000 I'm sorry. It was just a lot to deal with. 171 00:09:28,001 --> 00:09:33,000 I can't believe that he has a daughter. 172 00:09:33,001 --> 00:09:36,000 Look, he's gonna freak. 173 00:09:36,001 --> 00:09:38,000 What do you mean he's gonna freak? 174 00:09:38,001 --> 00:09:40,000 You're not so friends with him, are you? 175 00:09:40,001 --> 00:09:43,000 You'll bet me money, real money, that I can't tell the truth. 176 00:09:43,001 --> 00:09:45,000 Are you kidding? 177 00:09:45,001 --> 00:09:47,000 I can't remember the last time I saw him. 178 00:09:47,001 --> 00:09:50,000 I mean, I've seen his show, but I haven't, you know, like seen him. 179 00:09:50,001 --> 00:09:52,000 Oh, seen him. Good. 180 00:09:52,001 --> 00:09:54,000 Because Eddie doesn't need to know. 181 00:09:54,001 --> 00:09:57,000 Linda and I have been doing just fine on our own, so... 182 00:09:57,001 --> 00:10:01,000 So if you happen to bump into him or something like that, just... 183 00:10:01,001 --> 00:10:05,000 Don't say anything, all right? Not a problem. 184 00:10:05,001 --> 00:10:08,000 Bump into him? What would I bump into him? Good. 185 00:10:09,000 --> 00:10:11,000 So, man, what do you want to watch? 186 00:10:11,001 --> 00:10:14,000 Uh, I don't care. You know, you pick. 187 00:10:14,001 --> 00:10:18,000 I was thinking something topical, like bringing up baby. 188 00:10:18,001 --> 00:10:19,000 Knock it off, Eddie. 189 00:10:19,001 --> 00:10:20,000 I'm sorry. Sorry. Cheap shot. 190 00:10:20,001 --> 00:10:23,000 Yeah, why don't we get you out of the comedy section, huh? 191 00:10:23,001 --> 00:10:25,000 Oh, this is supposed to be good. 192 00:10:25,001 --> 00:10:28,000 Not without my daughter, Eddie. 193 00:10:28,001 --> 00:10:31,000 Hey, hey, it's Sally Fields. You love Sally Fields. 194 00:10:31,001 --> 00:10:35,000 Eddie, I talked to Cheryl yesterday. 195 00:10:35,001 --> 00:10:37,000 Oh, yeah? What did she say? 196 00:10:37,001 --> 00:10:39,000 Where's Papa? 197 00:10:39,001 --> 00:10:43,000 Keep trying it. Okay, Eddie. You want to know the truth? 198 00:10:43,001 --> 00:10:46,000 Huh? I'll tell you the truth. She's not my daughter, okay? 199 00:10:46,001 --> 00:10:51,000 She's... She's... Shh! She's Skipper Bensley's. 200 00:10:51,001 --> 00:10:52,000 Who, me? 201 00:10:52,001 --> 00:10:55,000 Skipper Bensley's? You're kidding. 202 00:10:55,001 --> 00:10:58,000 Hey, no one was more surprised than me, because he knew. 203 00:10:58,001 --> 00:11:00,000 He knew I was going out with her. 204 00:11:00,001 --> 00:11:02,000 Dog by a guy on the math team. 205 00:11:02,001 --> 00:11:04,000 You must behave shit. 206 00:11:04,001 --> 00:11:05,451 Oh, yeah, yeah. I'm about this close to 207 00:11:05,463 --> 00:11:07,000 beating the shit out of Skipper Bens ley. 208 00:11:07,001 --> 00:11:10,000 Well, at least she's not yours. That must be some kind of relief. 209 00:11:10,001 --> 00:11:14,000 You must feel very proud of yourself. 210 00:11:14,001 --> 00:11:16,000 Yeah, yeah. It really is. 211 00:11:16,001 --> 00:11:22,000 Hi. 212 00:11:22,001 --> 00:11:27,000 Oh, Cheryl. Would that I could be your comb? 213 00:11:27,001 --> 00:11:30,000 Oh, no. No, no. I can't believe you saved that. 214 00:11:30,001 --> 00:11:36,000 You know, I just... To run my plastic teeth through your silken hair. 215 00:11:36,001 --> 00:11:40,000 To slide down aldrin slopes like a skier on a mountain of desire. 216 00:11:40,001 --> 00:11:42,000 Yeah, well, you can stop any time. Thank you. 217 00:11:42,001 --> 00:11:44,000 You have me in your back pocket. 218 00:11:44,001 --> 00:11:46,000 Flexible. Unbreakable. 219 00:11:46,001 --> 00:11:49,000 Let me remove every snarl and every tangle. 220 00:11:49,001 --> 00:11:52,000 Parting is such sweet sorrow. 221 00:11:52,001 --> 00:11:57,000 Hey, to our grandpa, it's wonderful. I'm all a florter. 222 00:11:58,000 --> 00:12:00,000 I think you were stoned. 223 00:12:00,001 --> 00:12:01,965 No, no. I'm afraid not. But it seemed like 224 00:12:01,977 --> 00:12:04,000 such a neat metaphor at the time, you know. 225 00:12:04,001 --> 00:12:06,694 But now that I've aged incredibly, it seems... 226 00:12:06,706 --> 00:12:09,000 Hey, bud. You want to shoot some hoops? 227 00:12:09,001 --> 00:12:13,000 Eddie? 228 00:12:13,001 --> 00:12:17,000 Cheryl Castorini? Look at you. 229 00:12:17,001 --> 00:12:21,000 That does make the gravy thick. 230 00:12:21,001 --> 00:12:25,000 Oh, my God. Is that Eddie Charles? 231 00:12:26,000 --> 00:12:29,000 You haven't changed a bit. 232 00:12:29,001 --> 00:12:31,000 What? This is like old home week. 233 00:12:31,001 --> 00:12:35,000 You know, first Lauren Fitzdougal Farben, and then Cheryl, and now you. 234 00:12:35,001 --> 00:12:38,000 I love your show. What are you talking about? 235 00:12:38,001 --> 00:12:41,000 How long has it been, Eddie? What, about 20 years? 236 00:12:41,001 --> 00:12:45,000 Maybe I should come back. 237 00:12:45,001 --> 00:12:48,000 Okay. Okay. Well, now that you know where I am, don't wait another 20 years. 238 00:12:48,001 --> 00:12:51,000 Oh, cut the crap. You told him, didn't you? 239 00:12:54,000 --> 00:12:57,000 No. No, I didn't tell him. 240 00:12:57,001 --> 00:12:59,000 What, about the kid? 241 00:12:59,001 --> 00:13:02,000 You son of a bitch. You promised me. 242 00:13:02,001 --> 00:13:03,911 And I didn't tell him. I told him she 243 00:13:03,923 --> 00:13:06,000 was, you know, a Skipper Bensley's kid . 244 00:13:06,001 --> 00:13:08,000 Skipper Bensley? 245 00:13:08,001 --> 00:13:10,000 Who, me? 246 00:13:10,001 --> 00:13:13,000 Wait a second. Wait a second. So she's not Skipper Bensley's kid? 247 00:13:13,001 --> 00:13:16,000 Then she is yours. 248 00:13:16,001 --> 00:13:19,000 No, no, Eddie. She's not mine. 249 00:13:19,001 --> 00:13:22,000 Well, then who's is she? 250 00:13:22,001 --> 00:13:31,000 [Music] 251 00:13:31,001 --> 00:13:33,000 Wait. Me? 252 00:13:33,001 --> 00:13:38,000 Oh, no way. That's impossible. Oh, really? Oh, really? After the bonfire, 253 00:13:38,001 --> 00:13:40,000 flat tire. Does that ring a bell? Huh? 254 00:13:40,001 --> 00:13:42,000 Yeah. But we only did it once. 255 00:13:42,001 --> 00:13:45,000 And as they taught us in health class, that's all it takes. 256 00:13:45,001 --> 00:13:48,000 You're telling me. Why didn't you tell me? 257 00:13:48,001 --> 00:13:50,157 Oh, please, Eddie. Let's face it. You weren't 258 00:13:50,169 --> 00:13:52,000 the most responsible person back then. 259 00:13:52,001 --> 00:13:53,000 Or the most loyal. 260 00:13:53,001 --> 00:13:57,000 Shut up. This is bullshit. I mean, you could at least give me a chance. Does 261 00:13:57,001 --> 00:13:59,000 she even know who I am? 262 00:13:59,001 --> 00:14:01,000 No. No, she doesn't. 263 00:14:01,001 --> 00:14:04,000 Well, it's about time she does. I mean, she's my daughter, too. 264 00:14:04,001 --> 00:14:08,000 Okay. Fine. When do you want to meet her? 265 00:14:08,001 --> 00:14:13,000 Let me get back to you on that. 266 00:14:13,001 --> 00:14:15,000 Same old Eddie. 267 00:14:17,000 --> 00:14:19,000 It's been great running into you, too. 268 00:14:19,001 --> 00:14:24,000 Eddie. Eddie. 269 00:14:24,001 --> 00:14:25,000 Cheryl. 270 00:14:25,001 --> 00:14:35,000 I've mercy on the poor and ignorant bastard. 271 00:14:35,001 --> 00:14:38,000 Are you okay? 272 00:14:38,001 --> 00:14:40,000 Yeah. Let's go shoot some ooze. 273 00:14:40,001 --> 00:14:42,000 What? 274 00:14:42,001 --> 00:14:44,000 Eddie. Eddie, wait a second. 275 00:14:46,000 --> 00:14:49,000 You know, I can't believe you. Last week you said if she was yours, you'd 276 00:14:49,001 --> 00:14:50,391 like to meet her and get to know her 277 00:14:50,403 --> 00:14:52,000 and, you know, take some responsibility . 278 00:14:52,001 --> 00:14:55,000 Well, that's when she was your daughter. Now she's my daughter. I totally 279 00:14:55,001 --> 00:14:56,000 disagree with myself. 280 00:14:56,001 --> 00:14:58,000 Now, come on. Loser buys a beer. 281 00:14:58,001 --> 00:15:00,000 Eddie, aren't you even in the least bit curious? 282 00:15:00,001 --> 00:15:03,000 No. And what am I supposed to do anyway? Walk in off the street and say, "Hi 283 00:15:03,001 --> 00:15:04,000 , I'm your father." 284 00:15:04,001 --> 00:15:06,000 She would think I was a total asshole. 285 00:15:06,001 --> 00:15:09,000 Yeah, yeah, but you're not just any asshole. You know, you're... 286 00:15:09,001 --> 00:15:11,000 The biggest whopper of the year. 287 00:15:11,001 --> 00:15:13,000 You're Eddie Charles. 288 00:15:15,000 --> 00:15:19,000 You know you're right. I am Eddie Charles. I forgot. 289 00:15:19,001 --> 00:15:25,000 Can you imagine finding out after all these years that your father was me? 290 00:15:25,001 --> 00:15:27,000 He had two feet hold. 291 00:15:27,001 --> 00:15:32,000 It's like winning the lottery. Yeah. Come on. She's got to see me. I mean, I 292 00:15:32,001 --> 00:15:35,000 'm her father. Her daddy, her own flesh and blood. 293 00:15:35,001 --> 00:15:37,000 What was her name again? 294 00:15:37,001 --> 00:15:54,000 [MUSIC] 295 00:15:54,001 --> 00:15:59,000 Linda. Hi, I'm Eddie Charles. 296 00:15:59,001 --> 00:16:01,000 Hi. 297 00:16:01,001 --> 00:16:04,000 Oh, I'm coming in. 298 00:16:04,001 --> 00:16:06,000 [DOOR OPENS] 299 00:16:06,001 --> 00:16:16,000 So, will your mother be joining us? 300 00:16:16,001 --> 00:16:19,000 Nope. No help there. 301 00:16:19,001 --> 00:16:26,000 Oh, can I get you something to drink? 302 00:16:26,001 --> 00:16:31,000 No, I just drank. Yeah, outside, some water. 303 00:16:31,001 --> 00:16:33,000 [LAUGHS] 304 00:16:33,001 --> 00:16:52,000 So... So... So when's your birthday? 305 00:16:52,001 --> 00:16:53,000 January 29th. 306 00:16:53,001 --> 00:16:56,000 What a coincidence. Mine's June 8th. 307 00:16:57,000 --> 00:17:01,000 Um, how is that a coincidence? 308 00:17:01,001 --> 00:17:04,000 Well, they're both months that begin with J. 309 00:17:04,001 --> 00:17:09,000 Well, I guess coincidence wasn't the right word. 310 00:17:09,001 --> 00:17:17,000 Um, uh... So, you have a TV show, right? 311 00:17:17,001 --> 00:17:18,000 Yeah, yeah. 312 00:17:18,001 --> 00:17:20,000 Oh, that's pretty terrific. 313 00:17:20,001 --> 00:17:22,000 Yes, yes. Have you seen it? 314 00:17:22,001 --> 00:17:23,001 No. 315 00:17:24,000 --> 00:17:29,000 Sorry. I really don't get to watch much TV. I mean, with school and all. 316 00:17:29,001 --> 00:17:31,000 Oh, right. School. 317 00:17:31,001 --> 00:17:34,000 So, what are you studying? 318 00:17:34,001 --> 00:17:36,000 Communications. 319 00:17:36,001 --> 00:17:38,000 Um, I'll probably go into PR. 320 00:17:38,001 --> 00:17:39,000 Done. 321 00:17:39,001 --> 00:17:40,000 Excuse me? 322 00:17:40,001 --> 00:17:41,871 I'll set it up with my guy. I mean, he's 323 00:17:41,883 --> 00:17:44,000 with one of the biggest agencies in New York. 324 00:17:44,001 --> 00:17:48,000 You know, by Monday, you'll have a big office overlooking the park. 325 00:17:48,001 --> 00:17:51,000 Um, I'm just a sophomore. 326 00:17:51,001 --> 00:17:53,000 Oh, right. Right, right, right, right. 327 00:17:53,001 --> 00:17:58,000 Um... You want a car? 328 00:17:58,001 --> 00:17:59,000 What? 329 00:17:59,001 --> 00:18:01,000 I can buy you a car. What kind would you like? 330 00:18:01,001 --> 00:18:03,000 No. Thank you. 331 00:18:03,001 --> 00:18:07,000 No, no. I-I mean a real car. You know, with doors and windows, you know, 332 00:18:07,001 --> 00:18:08,000 when you can drive around in. 333 00:18:08,001 --> 00:18:12,000 Yeah, you know, I'm completely familiar with the concept, but I really don't 334 00:18:12,001 --> 00:18:13,000 want a car. 335 00:18:13,001 --> 00:18:15,000 Oh, come on. I'm your dad. Let-let me buy you a car. 336 00:18:15,001 --> 00:18:17,000 I don't want a fucking car! 337 00:18:18,000 --> 00:18:20,000 [sighs] 338 00:18:20,001 --> 00:18:25,000 I-I'm sorry. 339 00:18:25,001 --> 00:18:32,000 No, no, that's okay. I, um... Maybe I should go. 340 00:18:32,001 --> 00:18:33,000 Yeah. 341 00:18:33,001 --> 00:18:34,000 Yeah. 342 00:18:34,001 --> 00:18:35,001 Yeah. 343 00:18:45,000 --> 00:18:49,000 Um, it was nice to meet you. 344 00:18:49,001 --> 00:18:56,000 You too. Uh... So... Okay. 345 00:19:13,000 --> 00:19:15,000 I'm sorry! 346 00:19:15,001 --> 00:19:17,000 Al, this is Christ. Would you please? 347 00:19:17,001 --> 00:19:20,000 I'm sorry. It's just... Yes. I seen the puck. Good call. 348 00:19:20,001 --> 00:19:22,000 Since when do you watch hockey? 349 00:19:22,001 --> 00:19:25,000 Well, it's the Stanley Cup playoffs, and Richard's officiating. 350 00:19:25,001 --> 00:19:28,000 Daddy! You're a stater! 351 00:19:28,001 --> 00:19:32,000 Gretzky, could you skate over and get the door for me, please? 352 00:19:32,001 --> 00:19:38,000 She doesn't watch my show. 353 00:19:38,001 --> 00:19:40,000 What kind of person doesn't watch her own father's show? 354 00:19:40,001 --> 00:19:43,000 What happened? You know, I don't know what more I could have done. 355 00:19:43,001 --> 00:19:45,000 I offered her a job. I offered her a car. 356 00:19:45,001 --> 00:19:47,000 She doesn't want to have anything to do with me. 357 00:19:47,001 --> 00:19:50,000 Eddie, maybe it came on a little too strong. You know what I mean? 358 00:19:50,001 --> 00:19:51,000 You can be that way. 359 00:19:51,001 --> 00:19:53,000 Oh, what? Like, uh, like it's my fault? 360 00:19:53,001 --> 00:19:55,000 What do you know anyway? You weren't even there! 361 00:19:55,001 --> 00:19:57,000 Anybody want a beer? 362 00:19:57,001 --> 00:20:00,000 Well, I'm gonna have one. 363 00:20:00,001 --> 00:20:05,000 Eddie, look, maybe she wants a little more than a... A car. 364 00:20:05,001 --> 00:20:07,000 Oh, what? Like a condo? I just met her. 365 00:20:07,001 --> 00:20:09,000 What kind of suggestion is that? A condo! 366 00:20:10,000 --> 00:20:11,393 Actually, I was thinking of something 367 00:20:11,405 --> 00:20:13,000 a little more personal. You know, like ... 368 00:20:13,001 --> 00:20:21,000 Well, I don't know. Maybe it is... A hug. A hug. 369 00:20:21,001 --> 00:20:24,352 Jeremy, if you had a choice between a 370 00:20:24,364 --> 00:20:28,000 car and a hug, which one would you take? 371 00:20:28,001 --> 00:20:31,000 Hmm, I don't know. Maybe the car? 372 00:20:31,001 --> 00:20:35,000 In fact, if I could have the car and the hug, I'd still just want the car. 373 00:20:37,000 --> 00:20:40,000 See? Any more bright ideas, Mr. Smart Guy? 374 00:20:40,001 --> 00:20:43,000 Jude, could you... It was a rather simplistic suggestion. 375 00:20:43,001 --> 00:20:47,000 Okay. Okay, fine. Maybe she didn't want a hug. 376 00:20:47,001 --> 00:20:49,000 You don't mind helping, you can figure it out for yourself. 377 00:20:49,001 --> 00:20:51,000 I'll be sewing. 378 00:20:51,001 --> 00:20:55,000 All right, look, maybe I'm just a little scared here. 379 00:20:55,001 --> 00:20:58,000 Yeah, I mean, what if she doesn't like me? What if she never likes me? 380 00:20:58,001 --> 00:21:00,000 I don't know if I could deal with that. 381 00:21:00,001 --> 00:21:02,000 Well, don't look at me. I'm too simplistic. 382 00:21:02,001 --> 00:21:04,000 Jude, why don't you end? 383 00:21:04,001 --> 00:21:07,000 Well, Eddie, what you're experiencing is perfectly valid. 384 00:21:07,001 --> 00:21:08,000 It is? 385 00:21:08,001 --> 00:21:12,000 Yes. These feelings could stem from an innate lack of self-worth, 386 00:21:12,001 --> 00:21:14,000 or from difficulties with your own parents, 387 00:21:14,001 --> 00:21:17,000 which could result in your harboring a wounded inner child. 388 00:21:17,001 --> 00:21:23,000 Martin, man, you've got to help me out. I'm just not ready for this, man. 389 00:21:23,001 --> 00:21:26,000 I mean, there's really enough hours in the day to think about myself, much 390 00:21:26,001 --> 00:21:27,000 less a daughter. 391 00:21:27,001 --> 00:21:32,000 Eddie. 392 00:21:33,000 --> 00:21:35,000 Of course it's scary. 393 00:21:35,001 --> 00:21:36,471 I mean, usually when a woman thinks you're 394 00:21:36,483 --> 00:21:38,000 a diggy, you just break up with her, right? 395 00:21:38,001 --> 00:21:39,000 Yeah. 396 00:21:39,001 --> 00:21:41,000 Well, do something different for once in your life. 397 00:21:41,001 --> 00:21:44,000 Go back there and try to work it out. Otherwise, you're going to miss out on 398 00:21:44,001 --> 00:21:48,000 something that's really just... You know, really terrific. 399 00:21:48,001 --> 00:21:51,000 Dad, you fucked up my favorite shirt. Nice going. 400 00:21:51,001 --> 00:21:56,000 Just be thankful you missed your teen years. 401 00:21:56,001 --> 00:21:59,000 (NON-ENGLISH SPEECH) 402 00:21:59,001 --> 00:22:10,000 Hi. Again? 403 00:22:10,001 --> 00:22:12,000 Hi. 404 00:22:12,001 --> 00:22:18,000 I brought you some tapes of my show. I thought we could watch them together. 405 00:22:18,001 --> 00:22:20,586 Or not. Up to you. I could just leave... 406 00:22:20,598 --> 00:22:23,000 Why don't I just go ahead and leave ? 407 00:22:23,001 --> 00:22:25,000 That's good. Thanks. 408 00:22:26,000 --> 00:22:30,000 You have a VCR? I'd be happy to buy you one if you didn't have one. 409 00:22:30,001 --> 00:22:33,000 Or not. Again, entirely up to you. 28537

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