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1
00:01:26,001 --> 00:01:27,000
So I figure no problem.
2
00:01:27,001 --> 00:01:28,000
You know, I'm never
gonna see this guy again.
3
00:01:28,001 --> 00:01:29,000
Okay, so now it's two hours later.
4
00:01:29,001 --> 00:01:31,000
I'm standing on the corner, right?
5
00:01:31,001 --> 00:01:32,000
I'm trying to hail a cab.
6
00:01:32,001 --> 00:01:34,000
[ Laughter ]
7
00:01:34,001 --> 00:01:36,000
Would you cut it out?
8
00:01:36,001 --> 00:01:39,000
This is not the school cafeteria.
9
00:01:39,001 --> 00:01:42,000
[ Laughter ]
10
00:01:42,001 --> 00:01:43,000
I need the discipline of a father.
11
00:01:43,001 --> 00:01:46,000
Can we please just eat dinner like adults?
12
00:01:46,001 --> 00:01:48,000
-Okay. -All right.
13
00:01:48,001 --> 00:01:50,000
Anyway, this taxi cab pulls up, you know?
14
00:01:50,001 --> 00:01:54,000
[ Laughter ]
15
00:01:54,001 --> 00:01:56,000
I hate kids!
16
00:01:56,001 --> 00:01:59,000
That was an $8 piece of beef.
17
00:01:59,001 --> 00:02:01,000
Here, it was worth it.
18
00:02:01,001 --> 00:02:02,000
You know what?
19
00:02:02,001 --> 00:02:05,000
I'm gonna keep this just
to teach you a lesson.
20
00:02:05,001 --> 00:02:07,000
Hey, guess who's gonna
be on my show tomorrow?
21
00:02:07,001 --> 00:02:08,000
[ Gunshot ]
22
00:02:08,001 --> 00:02:19,000
[ Speaking Spanish ]
23
00:02:19,001 --> 00:02:21,000
-Borns Henderson? -No.
24
00:02:21,001 --> 00:02:23,000
Rio Saunders.
25
00:02:23,001 --> 00:02:24,000
You got to be shitting me.
26
00:02:24,001 --> 00:02:25,000
Mm-mm.
27
00:02:25,001 --> 00:02:26,000
I don't know what you're talking about.
28
00:02:26,001 --> 00:02:27,000
Who's Reno Saunders?
29
00:02:27,001 --> 00:02:29,000
Well, Rio, Dad. Rio.
30
00:02:29,001 --> 00:02:31,000
She plays Melinda on "Classroom 310"?
31
00:02:31,001 --> 00:02:34,000
She's not like the
biggest star in the world.
32
00:02:34,001 --> 00:02:36,000
And she's gonna be making birthday cake.
33
00:02:36,001 --> 00:02:37,000
She cooks, too?
34
00:02:37,001 --> 00:02:39,000
That is so unbelievably excellent.
35
00:02:39,001 --> 00:02:41,000
Wait a minute. Wait a minute.
36
00:02:41,001 --> 00:02:43,000
Isn't she the one who sucker-punched
that photographer outside of Phonique?
37
00:02:43,001 --> 00:02:44,000
Yeah.
38
00:02:44,001 --> 00:02:47,000
Aw, man, you can't believe
everything you read in the tabloids.
39
00:02:47,001 --> 00:02:48,000
They're saying that I'm sleeping with Cher.
40
00:02:48,001 --> 00:02:51,000
Sleeping with? One time!
41
00:02:51,001 --> 00:02:52,000
Cher and Cher alike.
42
00:02:52,001 --> 00:02:54,000
You want to come and meet Rio?
43
00:02:54,001 --> 00:02:55,000
No way. I'm so there.
44
00:02:55,001 --> 00:02:57,000
Excuse me.
45
00:02:57,001 --> 00:02:59,000
Am I mistaken, or is tomorrow school done?
46
00:02:59,001 --> 00:03:00,524
So, Miss Jim class,
it's not like I plan on
47
00:03:00,536 --> 00:03:02,000
becoming a professional
dodgeball player.
48
00:03:02,001 --> 00:03:04,000
Come on.
49
00:03:04,001 --> 00:03:06,000
The poor little kid
like that wants a break.
50
00:03:06,001 --> 00:03:07,000
What do you tell him?
51
00:03:07,001 --> 00:03:08,000
I'm sorry, Jeremy, but you know the rules.
52
00:03:08,001 --> 00:03:11,000
School is school, and that comes first.
53
00:03:11,001 --> 00:03:12,000
I don't believe that's what you thought.
54
00:03:12,001 --> 00:03:15,000
Opening day at Yankee Stadium 1968?
55
00:03:15,001 --> 00:03:17,000
Strike one!
56
00:03:17,001 --> 00:03:18,000
Or '69?
57
00:03:18,001 --> 00:03:21,000
Strike two!
58
00:03:21,001 --> 00:03:23,000
Or '70?
59
00:03:23,001 --> 00:03:25,000
Strike three!
60
00:03:25,001 --> 00:03:27,000
All right, all right, all right.
61
00:03:27,001 --> 00:03:28,000
You can go.
62
00:03:28,001 --> 00:03:29,000
Great. Thanks, then.
63
00:03:29,001 --> 00:03:31,000
Thanks, Aunt D'Lettie.
64
00:03:31,001 --> 00:03:33,000
Oh.
65
00:03:33,001 --> 00:03:35,000
Oh, man.
66
00:03:35,001 --> 00:03:37,000
[laughs]
67
00:03:37,001 --> 00:03:39,000
[upbeat music]
68
00:03:39,001 --> 00:03:41,000
[screams]
69
00:03:41,001 --> 00:03:43,000
[upbeat music]
70
00:03:43,001 --> 00:03:47,000
♪♪
71
00:03:47,001 --> 00:03:49,000
Well, Rio, that recipe
really takes the cake.
72
00:03:49,001 --> 00:03:51,000
Oh, man. I'm so tingly.
73
00:03:51,001 --> 00:03:52,000
Thanks.
74
00:03:52,001 --> 00:03:54,000
Now comes my favorite part.
75
00:03:54,001 --> 00:03:55,000
I can't wait.
76
00:03:55,001 --> 00:03:58,000
Nice, even strokes.
77
00:03:58,001 --> 00:04:00,000
From the base to the tip.
78
00:04:00,001 --> 00:04:01,000
[sad music]
79
00:04:01,001 --> 00:04:02,000
Huh?
80
00:04:02,001 --> 00:04:06,000
Not too fast, not too slow.
81
00:04:06,001 --> 00:04:08,000
Don't rush it.
82
00:04:08,001 --> 00:04:10,000
[explosion]
83
00:04:10,001 --> 00:04:12,000
Make it last.
84
00:04:12,001 --> 00:04:15,000
Oh, yeah. Here it comes.
85
00:04:15,001 --> 00:04:18,000
It looks like someone has done this before.
86
00:04:18,001 --> 00:04:20,000
[sad music]
87
00:04:20,001 --> 00:04:23,000
Mmm. Mmm.
88
00:04:23,001 --> 00:04:25,000
Good to the last drop.
89
00:04:25,001 --> 00:04:28,000
Well, unfortunately, that
is our last drop of time.
90
00:04:28,001 --> 00:04:32,000
Join us tomorrow when we randomly
pick the name of Christy's baby from cards
91
00:04:32,001 --> 00:04:34,000
sent by you, the viewer.
92
00:04:34,001 --> 00:04:36,000
Oh, yeah.
And let's just hope it's a good one.
93
00:04:36,001 --> 00:04:37,000
[laughs]
94
00:04:37,001 --> 00:04:38,000
Bye-bye, everyone.
95
00:04:38,001 --> 00:04:40,000
Bye-bye. We'll see you tomorrow.
96
00:04:40,001 --> 00:04:42,000
And we're out.
97
00:04:42,001 --> 00:04:44,000
Nice show, baby. Thank you.
98
00:04:44,001 --> 00:04:47,000
Well, well, well. [laughs]
99
00:04:47,001 --> 00:04:50,000
That was quite the show you put on there.
100
00:04:50,001 --> 00:04:52,000
What do you mean?
101
00:04:52,001 --> 00:04:54,000
You know, the way you
handled that icing bag.
102
00:04:54,001 --> 00:04:59,000
I mean, you would think
it was a-- Well, you know.
103
00:04:59,001 --> 00:05:00,000
Never mind.
104
00:05:00,001 --> 00:05:01,963
Okay. Hey, Mr. Charles,
do you think I
105
00:05:01,975 --> 00:05:04,000
can have an autographed
picture of you?
106
00:05:04,001 --> 00:05:06,000
Well, yeah, sure.
107
00:05:06,001 --> 00:05:07,000
[kisses]
108
00:05:07,001 --> 00:05:09,000
There you go. Enjoy.
109
00:05:09,001 --> 00:05:12,000
Wow. Thanks.
110
00:05:12,001 --> 00:05:14,000
Hey, Martin, Jeremy.
111
00:05:14,001 --> 00:05:16,000
Come on, guys. You want to meet her?
112
00:05:16,001 --> 00:05:17,000
[groans]
113
00:05:17,001 --> 00:05:19,000
Oh, real.
There's someone I'd like you to meet.
114
00:05:19,001 --> 00:05:22,000
This is Jeremy Tupper,
my executive producer.
115
00:05:22,001 --> 00:05:24,000
Hi.
116
00:05:24,001 --> 00:05:27,000
I'm your biggest fan.
117
00:05:27,001 --> 00:05:30,000
God, that's a total
power geek thing to say.
118
00:05:30,001 --> 00:05:33,000
Oh, no, not totally.
119
00:05:33,001 --> 00:05:36,000
So, do you, uh-- do you
like being an actress?
120
00:05:36,001 --> 00:05:38,000
Yeah. It's fun.
121
00:05:38,001 --> 00:05:40,000
Uh, Jeremy?
122
00:05:40,001 --> 00:05:42,000
Is that your dad?
123
00:05:42,001 --> 00:05:44,000
No.
124
00:05:44,001 --> 00:05:47,000
You know, I really like that movie
where your dad played a fireman.
125
00:05:47,001 --> 00:05:48,000
Great show, huh?
126
00:05:48,001 --> 00:05:50,000
Yeah. Yeah, but that girl. Jesus.
127
00:05:50,001 --> 00:05:53,000
What? She didn't upstage me, did she?
128
00:05:53,001 --> 00:05:56,000
I staged you?
She did everything that would blow you.
129
00:05:56,001 --> 00:05:58,000
Oh, man. Get your mind out of the gutter.
130
00:05:58,001 --> 00:06:00,000
She's a very sweet girl.
131
00:06:00,001 --> 00:06:08,000
You're in a mighty touching scene here.
132
00:06:08,001 --> 00:06:10,000
I remember when I was his age, you know.
133
00:06:10,001 --> 00:06:16,000
I used to think those girls from
"Petticoat Junction" were just-- [music]
134
00:06:16,001 --> 00:06:17,000
[screams]
135
00:06:17,001 --> 00:06:19,000
Jeremy!
136
00:06:19,001 --> 00:06:21,000
Jeremy, come here right now.
137
00:06:21,001 --> 00:06:23,000
[music]
138
00:06:23,001 --> 00:06:25,000
[laughs]
139
00:06:25,001 --> 00:06:27,000
I'll call you.
140
00:06:27,001 --> 00:06:29,000
Bye.
141
00:06:29,001 --> 00:06:31,000
Rio kissed me.
142
00:06:31,001 --> 00:06:33,000
Yes, yes, we know.
143
00:06:33,001 --> 00:06:34,000
Yes!
144
00:06:34,001 --> 00:06:37,000
You'll never believe it.
She said she'd go out with me.
145
00:06:37,001 --> 00:06:41,000
[music]
146
00:06:41,001 --> 00:06:43,000
Way to go, champ. You the man.
147
00:06:43,001 --> 00:06:45,000
Woo!
148
00:06:45,001 --> 00:06:46,000
Stop it.
149
00:06:46,001 --> 00:06:49,000
I don't suppose we could use the
apartment tonight to watch a movie.
150
00:06:49,001 --> 00:06:51,000
That's correct. That's correct.
151
00:06:51,001 --> 00:06:52,000
Shall we move on to the lightning round?
152
00:06:52,001 --> 00:06:53,000
It's Rio Saunders.
153
00:06:53,001 --> 00:06:56,000
I'm sorry, Jeremy. I just don't think
you should be going out with them.
154
00:06:56,001 --> 00:06:57,000
Ho!
155
00:06:57,001 --> 00:07:01,000
Girl.
So thank your uncle Eddie and let's go.
156
00:07:01,001 --> 00:07:05,000
This blows.
157
00:07:05,001 --> 00:07:07,000
Yeah, I know, man. I've been there.
158
00:07:07,001 --> 00:07:09,000
Hey, do you think I could use your place?
159
00:07:09,001 --> 00:07:12,000
I don't know, champ.
I don't think your dad would like that.
160
00:07:12,001 --> 00:07:14,000
So don't tell him. I won't.
161
00:07:14,001 --> 00:07:17,000
Hey, I thought we were pals.
162
00:07:17,001 --> 00:07:18,000
Hey.
163
00:07:18,001 --> 00:07:22,000
All right.
I'll leave the key with the doorman.
164
00:07:22,001 --> 00:07:23,000
Yes!
165
00:07:23,001 --> 00:07:33,000
Hey, Buck.
166
00:07:33,001 --> 00:07:35,000
The game just started.
167
00:07:35,001 --> 00:07:38,000
Hey. Hey. Excuse me.
Can I have a beer, please?
168
00:07:38,001 --> 00:07:40,000
Forget it. You cut it off.
169
00:07:40,001 --> 00:07:41,000
What?
170
00:07:41,001 --> 00:07:44,000
I just got here.
171
00:07:44,001 --> 00:07:47,000
All right. But I'm watching you.
172
00:07:47,001 --> 00:07:51,000
Saw your show today, Mr. Charles.
173
00:07:51,001 --> 00:07:53,000
It was really quite the entertaining.
174
00:07:53,001 --> 00:07:55,000
Well, thank you. Thank you very much.
175
00:07:55,001 --> 00:07:58,000
When that girl Rio licked
cake bed, rough her fingers.
176
00:07:58,001 --> 00:08:02,000
I almost blew a load of my pants.
177
00:08:02,001 --> 00:08:07,000
And if I could have some
pretzels too, that'd be great.
178
00:08:07,001 --> 00:08:14,000
Can you believe Jeremy?
179
00:08:14,001 --> 00:08:15,000
Huh?
180
00:08:15,001 --> 00:08:17,000
Wanted me to leave
him alone with that girl.
181
00:08:17,001 --> 00:08:19,000
Well, that wouldn't be
the worst thing in the world.
182
00:08:19,001 --> 00:08:21,000
No, not for you. He's not your son.
183
00:08:21,001 --> 00:08:23,000
Oh, Martin. They're kids.
184
00:08:23,001 --> 00:08:25,000
Think about what we were
like when we were that age.
185
00:08:25,001 --> 00:08:30,000
Say, K, next Friday there's
gonna be a weenie roast.
186
00:08:30,001 --> 00:08:33,000
Or there'll be a bowling
party if you'd rather do that.
187
00:08:33,001 --> 00:08:37,000
Kids were different then.
Oh, come on. Kids are kids.
188
00:08:37,001 --> 00:08:44,000
This is, uh... Different?
189
00:08:44,001 --> 00:08:46,000
Not in a bad way.
190
00:08:46,001 --> 00:08:49,000
My mother did it to
boost her in a movie once.
191
00:08:49,001 --> 00:08:51,000
That's, uh, Lord Earnest's dad, right?
192
00:08:51,001 --> 00:08:55,000
Come on. When we were 15, we were clueless.
193
00:08:55,001 --> 00:08:58,000
Speak for yourself, okay?
I was a very mature 15.
194
00:08:58,001 --> 00:08:59,937
You passed out in
assembly when Cheryl
195
00:08:59,949 --> 00:09:02,000
Cassarene's hair
touched your math book.
196
00:09:02,001 --> 00:09:05,000
And had nothing to do with it.
I didn't have breakfast that day.
197
00:09:05,001 --> 00:09:10,000
She had great hair to do.
198
00:09:10,001 --> 00:09:11,000
[Laughing]
199
00:09:11,001 --> 00:09:17,000
Ooh. I like your tattoo.
200
00:09:17,001 --> 00:09:20,000
Thanks. It, uh, didn't hurt at all.
201
00:09:20,001 --> 00:09:22,000
You wanna see mine?
202
00:09:22,001 --> 00:09:24,000
Sure.
203
00:09:24,001 --> 00:09:33,000
Was that a blender?
204
00:09:33,001 --> 00:09:35,000
It's a Chinese symbol for tranquility.
205
00:09:35,001 --> 00:09:37,000
That was my next guess.
206
00:09:37,001 --> 00:09:40,000
I got it when we did Classroom
Three tangos to Hong Kong.
207
00:09:40,001 --> 00:09:42,000
That was my favorite episode.
208
00:09:42,001 --> 00:09:47,000
We, uh, took a field trip to
the Stock Exchange last week.
209
00:09:47,001 --> 00:09:50,000
There were all these guys
throwing stuff around and screaming.
210
00:09:50,001 --> 00:09:52,000
It was wicked loud.
211
00:09:52,001 --> 00:09:55,000
Oh. Well, it sounds interesting.
212
00:09:55,001 --> 00:09:57,000
Watch this.
213
00:09:57,001 --> 00:10:02,000
What are you gonna do with that?
214
00:10:02,001 --> 00:10:04,000
[Mumbling].
215
00:10:06,000 --> 00:10:08,000
Ooh.
216
00:10:08,001 --> 00:10:10,000
I don't know.
217
00:10:10,001 --> 00:10:12,000
Maybe I was a little hard on term.
218
00:10:12,001 --> 00:10:14,000
Well, you can be that way.
219
00:10:14,001 --> 00:10:17,000
Can I, uh, can I get
you some more pretzels?
220
00:10:17,001 --> 00:10:19,000
Sure. Sure, thanks.
221
00:10:19,001 --> 00:10:22,000
Great.
Can I get you anything else for free?
222
00:10:22,001 --> 00:10:26,000
Uh, maybe some mustard, a pack
of napkins, my shirt, uh, my wallet.
223
00:10:26,001 --> 00:10:29,000
Hey, maybe you'd like to fuck my wife.
224
00:10:29,001 --> 00:10:33,000
That's a very difficult question to answer.
225
00:10:33,001 --> 00:10:37,000
Uh, you know what?
Just forget the pretzels. I'm fine.
226
00:10:37,001 --> 00:10:44,000
Ooh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh.
227
00:10:44,001 --> 00:10:46,000
Oh. Uh-oh.
228
00:10:46,001 --> 00:10:48,000
Beefer.
229
00:10:48,001 --> 00:10:51,000
Shit. It's my producer.
230
00:10:51,001 --> 00:10:54,000
Just a second.
I can't believe this asshole.
231
00:10:54,001 --> 00:10:57,000
I'll just, uh, wait here.
232
00:10:57,001 --> 00:11:00,000
I'm gonna call Jeremy.
233
00:11:00,001 --> 00:11:01,000
Uh, no.
234
00:11:01,001 --> 00:11:03,000
Don't do that. Why not?
235
00:11:03,001 --> 00:11:05,000
Uh, because, um, the game's on.
236
00:11:05,001 --> 00:11:07,000
Don't want to miss the game.
237
00:11:07,001 --> 00:11:10,000
I mean, nothing beats watching a good game.
238
00:11:10,001 --> 00:11:13,000
What are you talking about?
239
00:11:13,001 --> 00:11:15,000
We're not shooting tonight.
240
00:11:15,001 --> 00:11:18,000
Well, nobody called me.
241
00:11:18,001 --> 00:11:20,000
Uh, Rio?
242
00:11:20,001 --> 00:11:24,000
No. You cannot give my lines to Brittany.
243
00:11:24,001 --> 00:11:27,000
Because I'm prettier than she is.
That's why.
244
00:11:27,001 --> 00:11:29,000
Rio? Rio?
245
00:11:29,001 --> 00:11:31,000
Rio? Rio?
246
00:11:31,001 --> 00:11:33,000
I've got to get to the set.
247
00:11:33,001 --> 00:11:36,000
Thanks for watching. Bye.
248
00:11:36,001 --> 00:11:40,000
All right. We're coming back.
249
00:11:40,001 --> 00:11:42,000
Yeah. Whoa. Whoa. Whoa.
250
00:11:42,001 --> 00:11:43,000
What's going on?
251
00:11:43,001 --> 00:11:45,000
Wait. We were watching that.
252
00:11:45,001 --> 00:11:47,000
Sorry. The People's Choice Awards.
253
00:11:47,001 --> 00:11:50,000
I'm predicting a murder she wrote sweep.
254
00:11:50,001 --> 00:11:51,000
That's wonderful.
255
00:11:51,001 --> 00:11:54,000
Come on. Come on. This is a sports ball.
256
00:11:54,001 --> 00:11:56,000
I'm gonna get you a drink.
257
00:11:56,001 --> 00:11:59,000
That's wonderful. Come on.
Come on. This is a sports ball.
258
00:11:59,001 --> 00:12:02,000
Hey. Hey. You want a piece of me?
259
00:12:02,001 --> 00:12:03,000
Hey.
260
00:12:03,001 --> 00:12:05,000
He ain't quite right in his head, he ain't.
261
00:12:05,001 --> 00:12:08,000
Why don't we finish watching
the game in your place, huh?
262
00:12:08,001 --> 00:12:11,000
Or, uh, we could go to your place.
263
00:12:11,001 --> 00:12:12,000
Damn. Damn. The table's out.
264
00:12:12,001 --> 00:12:15,000
Besides, you're the one with the big
new TV you've been yacking about since
265
00:12:15,001 --> 00:24:30,100
the morning.
266
00:12:15,001 --> 00:12:20,000
Uh-huh. Uh, or we, uh... You
know, my place is way across town.
267
00:12:20,001 --> 00:12:23,000
Have you heard about these yellow
cars that for money will take you anywhere
268
00:12:23,001 --> 00:12:24,000
you want to go?
269
00:12:24,001 --> 00:12:26,000
I believe they're called Taxi Cab. Come on.
270
00:12:26,001 --> 00:12:30,000
All right. Let me just make a
phone call, because I have to, um...
271
00:12:30,001 --> 00:12:32,000
Call, uh, somewhere.
272
00:12:32,001 --> 00:12:34,000
Fine. Fine.
273
00:12:34,001 --> 00:12:40,000
Uh... Oh, no. I'll wait outside.
274
00:12:40,001 --> 00:12:44,000
Hi. This is Eddie Charles.
275
00:12:44,001 --> 00:12:46,000
I'm not here, but I'm thinking about you.
276
00:12:46,001 --> 00:12:48,000
That's for sure.
277
00:12:48,001 --> 00:12:50,000
Jeremy, are you there?
278
00:12:50,001 --> 00:12:52,000
Jeremy!
279
00:12:52,001 --> 00:12:56,000
Listen, your dad and I are coming over.
We're on our way. So if you're there
280
00:12:56,001 --> 00:25:52,100
, go home.
281
00:12:56,001 --> 00:12:58,000
Okay?
282
00:12:58,001 --> 00:13:00,000
Jeremy?
283
00:13:00,001 --> 00:13:02,000
We'll be right back after this.
284
00:13:02,001 --> 00:13:04,000
I guess you're not there.
285
00:13:04,001 --> 00:13:06,000
Shit! This is fucking perfect.
286
00:13:06,001 --> 00:13:08,000
Ow!
287
00:13:08,001 --> 00:13:24,000
Great. Can I get you a beer?
288
00:13:24,001 --> 00:13:26,000
Yeah, I'd love a beer.
289
00:13:26,001 --> 00:13:28,000
Ooh, boy.
290
00:13:28,001 --> 00:13:32,000
Oh, my God!
291
00:13:32,001 --> 00:13:34,000
What? What? This TV.
292
00:13:34,001 --> 00:13:36,000
It's huge. You weren't kidding, were you?
293
00:13:36,001 --> 00:13:38,000
It's great, isn't it?
294
00:13:38,001 --> 00:13:42,000
Here you go. Thanks.
295
00:13:42,001 --> 00:13:47,000
You know, the great thing about Ewing
is, he's like the ideal combination of
296
00:13:47,001 --> 00:13:48,000
offensive defense.
297
00:13:48,001 --> 00:13:50,000
Sorry?
298
00:13:50,001 --> 00:13:52,000
13 seconds.
299
00:13:52,001 --> 00:13:54,000
Fine player, Ewing.
300
00:13:54,001 --> 00:13:56,000
What the hell?
301
00:13:56,001 --> 00:13:58,000
You and cuff me, Uncle Eddie.
302
00:13:58,001 --> 00:14:00,000
I can't fucking believe this. You said
you were just going to watch a movie.
303
00:14:00,001 --> 00:14:02,000
You know, change of plans.
304
00:14:02,001 --> 00:14:04,000
Key. Key.
305
00:14:04,001 --> 00:14:06,000
There's my fucking key.
306
00:14:06,001 --> 00:14:08,000
What's that?
307
00:14:08,001 --> 00:14:10,000
Nothing. I was just singing.
308
00:14:10,001 --> 00:14:12,000
And I got a brand new TV.
309
00:14:12,001 --> 00:14:14,000
Ah ha.
310
00:14:14,001 --> 00:14:18,000
Ha! Found it.
311
00:14:18,001 --> 00:14:20,000
Must have fallen in my drawer.
312
00:14:20,001 --> 00:14:22,000
Thank God.
313
00:14:22,001 --> 00:14:28,000
What happened?
314
00:14:28,001 --> 00:14:30,000
Are you all right?
315
00:14:30,001 --> 00:14:32,000
Jeremy. Jeremy!
316
00:14:32,001 --> 00:14:34,000
Okay! Okay!
317
00:14:34,001 --> 00:14:36,000
Come on, Jeremy. What's the deal?
318
00:14:36,001 --> 00:14:38,000
I really don't want to talk about it.
I just want to go home.
319
00:14:38,001 --> 00:14:40,000
Eddie! Eddie, you're going to miss this!
320
00:14:40,001 --> 00:14:42,000
Be quiet.
321
00:14:42,001 --> 00:14:46,000
All right, Dave. This will be coming in.
322
00:14:46,001 --> 00:14:50,000
What are you doing?
323
00:14:50,001 --> 00:14:52,000
I'm missing a great game.
324
00:14:52,001 --> 00:14:54,000
Don't look at my refrigerator.
325
00:14:54,001 --> 00:14:56,000
What for?
326
00:14:56,001 --> 00:15:02,000
I got a lemon the size of a soccer ball.
You wouldn't believe it.
327
00:15:02,001 --> 00:15:05,000
What am I supposed to do? Celebrate?
328
00:15:05,001 --> 00:15:09,000
Really? Go. Go. Go see it. It's amazing.
329
00:15:09,001 --> 00:15:13,000
Okay. I haven't seen a lemon all day.
330
00:15:13,001 --> 00:15:15,000
Come on. Come on.
331
00:15:15,001 --> 00:15:18,000
Is this the one you're talking about?
332
00:15:18,001 --> 00:15:20,000
Because I've seen much
bigger ones than this.
333
00:15:20,001 --> 00:15:23,000
No, I'm not. I'm going to say
he's still got eight seconds left now.
334
00:15:23,001 --> 00:15:25,000
Shut the fuck up.
335
00:15:25,001 --> 00:15:29,000
Jeremy?
336
00:15:29,001 --> 00:15:31,000
What are you doing here?
337
00:15:31,001 --> 00:15:34,000
Well, I was returning my plunger.
338
00:15:34,001 --> 00:15:36,000
Thanks a lot, champ.
339
00:15:36,001 --> 00:15:39,000
When did you come in? I mean,
I've been gone for like two seconds.
340
00:15:39,001 --> 00:15:44,000
He's been here.
He was in the bathroom, plunging away.
341
00:15:44,001 --> 00:15:47,000
Didn't you hear the "thwaka thwaka thwaka"?
342
00:15:47,001 --> 00:15:49,000
How much did I owe you?
343
00:15:49,001 --> 00:15:51,000
I don't know. What, 50 bucks?
344
00:15:51,001 --> 00:15:54,000
50 bucks? Wait a minute. Wait a minute.
345
00:15:54,001 --> 00:15:58,000
I'm not an idiot. He's not a plumber.
What the hell is going on here?
346
00:15:58,001 --> 00:16:06,000
I, uh... Jeremy had a date with Rio,
and I said they could use my place.
347
00:16:06,001 --> 00:16:09,000
So if you're going to be
mad at anyone, be mad at me.
348
00:16:09,001 --> 00:16:13,000
Okay. You're grounded for a month.
349
00:16:13,001 --> 00:16:15,000
Fine. Can we go home now?
350
00:16:15,001 --> 00:16:17,000
Don't smart off to me, mister.
You're grounded for two months.
351
00:16:17,001 --> 00:16:19,000
You? I'll deal with later. Let's go.
352
00:16:19,001 --> 00:16:28,000
Man.
353
00:16:28,001 --> 00:16:46,000
Oh, jeez.
354
00:16:47,000 --> 00:16:49,000
[♪♪♪]
355
00:16:49,001 --> 00:16:58,000
Oh, well, well. Look who's here.
356
00:16:58,001 --> 00:17:02,000
Did you, uh, bring by some hookers
for my son? Maybe a switchblade or...
357
00:17:02,001 --> 00:17:05,000
Some drugs? Look, I know you're pissed.
358
00:17:05,001 --> 00:17:07,000
No, no, no, no, no. This isn't pissed.
359
00:17:07,001 --> 00:17:10,000
Pissed is when you gave Jeremy
a BB gun for his eighth birthday.
360
00:17:10,001 --> 00:17:13,000
This is...
There's no word for what this is!
361
00:17:13,001 --> 00:17:16,000
Look, I'm sorry. You're right.
You know, I fucked up.
362
00:17:16,001 --> 00:17:21,000
But... Have you talked to
Jeremy about... The other night?
363
00:17:21,001 --> 00:17:23,000
Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah.
I think he got me loud and clear.
364
00:17:23,001 --> 00:17:25,000
And if he didn't, he'll have
plenty of time to think about it
365
00:17:25,001 --> 00:17:27,000
while he's grounded
for the next four months.
366
00:17:27,001 --> 00:17:29,000
Unless, of course, you're
planning a breakout.
367
00:17:29,001 --> 00:17:32,000
Okay, okay. I get it.
You're upset, all right?
368
00:17:32,001 --> 00:17:36,000
Look, I'm just saying, instead of
grounding Jeremy, maybe you should try
369
00:17:36,001 --> 00:17:37,000
talking to him.
370
00:17:37,001 --> 00:17:38,545
Oh, really? Well, you
are the last person
371
00:17:38,557 --> 00:17:40,000
who should be giving
parenting advice.
372
00:17:40,001 --> 00:17:42,000
And what is that supposed to mean?
373
00:17:42,001 --> 00:17:44,000
You're nothing but a big baby.
374
00:17:44,001 --> 00:17:47,000
Oh, oh, I want a big TV.
I want to play with my mashed potatoes.
375
00:17:47,001 --> 00:17:49,000
When you're a parent, sometimes
you have to have discipline.
376
00:17:49,001 --> 00:17:51,000
Sometimes you have to be the bad guy.
377
00:17:51,001 --> 00:17:54,000
And maybe if you could stop being
the bad guy for a fucking second,
378
00:17:54,001 --> 00:17:56,000
you would realize that
something is going on with Jeremy.
379
00:17:56,001 --> 00:17:59,000
And what he needs right now is a good guy.
380
00:17:59,001 --> 00:18:08,000
Thanks for telling me.
381
00:18:08,001 --> 00:18:22,000
[music]
382
00:18:22,001 --> 00:18:24,000
What am I, a man or a mouse?
383
00:18:24,001 --> 00:18:33,000
I love your haircut.
384
00:18:33,001 --> 00:18:35,000
No, it looks really great.
385
00:18:35,001 --> 00:18:38,000
You want a soda or something?
386
00:18:38,001 --> 00:18:40,000
How about a beer?
387
00:18:40,001 --> 00:18:42,000
Two grape sodas coming up.
388
00:18:42,001 --> 00:18:55,000
So, tell me about the big date with Rio.
389
00:18:55,001 --> 00:18:58,000
Has it gone beyond a kiss yet?
390
00:18:58,001 --> 00:18:59,911
What'd you guys
do? Did you go to the
391
00:18:59,923 --> 00:19:02,000
movies or have dinner
or just have sex ?
392
00:19:03,000 --> 00:19:05,000
I'm just making conversation.
393
00:19:05,001 --> 00:19:07,000
No, we didn't have sex.
394
00:19:07,001 --> 00:19:10,000
Jeremy, it's okay.
I mean, you can tell me if you did.
395
00:19:10,001 --> 00:19:14,000
You know, I want you to be able
to talk to me about these things.
396
00:19:14,001 --> 00:19:16,000
I know, Dad, but I didn't.
397
00:19:16,001 --> 00:19:18,000
Oh.
398
00:19:18,001 --> 00:19:21,000
You really can't tell
me if you did, you know.
399
00:19:21,001 --> 00:19:24,000
All right. You want to know what happened?
400
00:19:24,001 --> 00:19:29,000
She handcuffed me to a bed,
masturbated with a vibrator, and then left.
401
00:19:47,001 --> 00:19:50,000
Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait,
wait, wait, wait. Are you okay?
402
00:19:50,001 --> 00:19:51,391
Well, when she left
me there chained
403
00:19:51,403 --> 00:19:53,000
to the bed, I mostly
felt like a doofus .
404
00:19:53,001 --> 00:19:57,000
But other than that, it
was fun in a weird way.
405
00:19:57,001 --> 00:20:07,000
Jeremy, sex is different things
to different people, you know.
406
00:20:07,001 --> 00:20:09,000
I mean, some people like to...
407
00:20:09,001 --> 00:20:14,274
tie each other up.
Other people, they
408
00:20:14,286 --> 00:20:20,000
don't even want the
lights on, you know.
409
00:20:20,001 --> 00:20:25,000
So when the time comes,
you'll figure out what you like.
410
00:20:25,001 --> 00:20:28,000
I think I liked it better the
times I did it without handcuffs.
411
00:20:28,001 --> 00:20:31,000
Well, see? See, there you go.
412
00:20:31,001 --> 00:20:41,000
You mean you've...
you've had sex?
413
00:20:41,001 --> 00:20:44,000
Well, not with Ryo.
She just tied me up and masturbated.
414
00:20:44,001 --> 00:20:46,000
I know, I know, I got that part.
415
00:20:46,001 --> 00:20:51,000
You're not a... A virgin?
416
00:20:51,001 --> 00:20:54,000
No. No, not for a long time.
417
00:20:54,001 --> 00:20:56,000
Not since Christmas.
418
00:20:56,001 --> 00:20:59,000
[laughs]
419
00:20:59,001 --> 00:21:03,000
Merry Christmas, little kitties.
420
00:21:03,001 --> 00:21:10,000
Are you okay, Dad?
421
00:21:10,001 --> 00:21:13,000
I don't know, Henry.
Things are different now.
422
00:21:13,001 --> 00:21:15,000
Sure. Sure.
423
00:21:15,001 --> 00:21:18,000
I know this has a lot for you to do.
424
00:21:18,001 --> 00:21:20,000
But it's bound to happen sometime.
425
00:21:20,001 --> 00:21:22,066
I mean, I'm growing
up, and that's gonna
426
00:21:22,078 --> 00:21:24,000
mean some adjustments
for both of us.
427
00:21:24,001 --> 00:21:27,000
Is there a chiropractor in the house?
428
00:21:27,001 --> 00:21:29,000
You know what?
429
00:21:29,001 --> 00:21:31,000
We're gonna be okay.
430
00:21:31,001 --> 00:21:34,000
What? That's what I was gonna say.
431
00:21:34,001 --> 00:21:42,000
There's never a problem so great
between his son and his parents that it can't
432
00:21:42,001 --> 00:21:43,000
be worked out.
433
00:21:43,001 --> 00:21:46,000
Yeah, what do you say, huh? Two beers?
434
00:21:46,001 --> 00:21:50,000
Yeah. Yeah, yeah. That'd be great.
435
00:21:50,001 --> 00:21:55,000
And get yourself a soda.
28751
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