All language subtitles for DreamOn_S4E20 Where Theres Smoke Youre Fired

Well, Alan, I am really proud of you.

But I have to say I am going to miss
our Wednesday morning sessions.

How do you feel?

Scared, but good. I'm feeling really good.

Here, I got you this.

Oh, how sweet. You shouldn't have.

It's lovely.

See, I have this broken vase
and I sort of glued it back together.

Simpleizing the pieces of your life
coming together to form a whole?

Uh, no. But that's a nice thought.

Anyway, I just wanted to say thank you.
It's been a tough four years, but I

think I'm finally ready
to take the big step.

Good for you.

You know, I think I'm just going to
put this right over here and then every

time I look at it, it'll
remind me of... [MUSIC]

Oh my gosh. Alan!

[MUSIC]

You see, it's all about how the
thirst for power corrupts. It's sort of a

modern version of Macbeth.

Like that. One tiny
little tweak, though.

Could you make all
the characters lesbians?

Aha!

Give me a... I don't... Trivic!
Well, we're done for the day.

Do my hands look swollen to you?

Anyway, I'm off to the Puna Institute
in Nepal. It's an intensive seven day

program of yoga and meditation
designed to help you find your center and

increase your flexibility.

Wow, Gibby. Good for you.

Indeed. And at the
end of the week, they

promise I'll be able
to suck myself off.

Now while I'm gone, I'd like to leave
the reins of the company in capable

hands.
Unfortunately, Marty will have to do.

Gibby, thank you. I'm honored.

Here's your little list of chores,
John Boy. If you've got any questions,

catch me before the end of the day.

Well, I'm off.
Be sure to send us a postcard.

- Bye now, Trips. - Bye, Gibby.

Bye, Mr. Viss.
Bump my eyes, Gibby, but have a nice trip.

Hey, Martin.

Listen, Martin, can I come in at three?

Yeah, I could use a bigger office.

What, for your hands?

I want a company car. Seriously.

There'll be none of that during
the Tapper administration.

Have you not seen me on the postage stamps?
I am the king.

Hey, Jude.

Guess what? Too late. Gibby's going
on vacation and he's leaving me in

charge. Isn't that great?

Huh?

So how was your morning?

Oh, well.

You know the first thing I'm going to do?
I'm going to put some new candy in

those vending machines. I mean, come on.

How many people
actually eat Clark tomorrow?

I don't know.

Did I say something wrong?

Jude, what's the problem?

Problem? Why should there be any problem?
I mean, just because my 1030

jumped out my office window.

Oh, my God.

Four years ago, he came to me not
knowing what to do with his life. Well, I

guess I helped him figure it out.

You can't blame yourself. I mean,
I'm sure you did everything you could.

Yeah, I could have locked my window.

That's not what I mean. When someone's
going to kill themselves, you know,

there's only so much you can do.

Those people are very determined.

Martin, I'm a therapist.
I mean, I'm supposed to help people.

And you have. You
have. Think of all the

patients you didn't
help kill themselves.

Stop that laughing.

Where do you think you are?
At amusement park?

Jude, could you... I'm OK.

Look, maybe you
should just give her a call.

No, no, no, no. I don't need to go
back into therapy, really. I vented. It

was inappropriate, but I'm much better now.

Hi. Ready to order?

Yeah. I'll have the tuna, please.

I'm sorry. Bad choice. We're out of tuna.

Well, then why is it on the menu?

Uh, I'll send someone out for something.

Jude, why don't we just give her a call?

Call the printers. Tell them the
lettering on the cover of "Blood on a

Matrix" should be read.

Did it?

Pick out a new set of coasters
for the conference room table.

Did it?

That's it for Tuesday.

Jesus, running a company is cinchie.

We're already two days ahead
and Gibby hasn't even left yet.

What's up for Wednesday?

Restock Gibby's refrigerator
with diet fudge soda.

Right.

Fire an editor.

Oh, geez. Change the toner in the
copy machine. You better wear gloves.

Wait a minute. Wait a minute. I can't
fire an editor. Oh, wait. This must be

a typo. He must mean hire an editor.

Gibby!

Gibby!

Gibby!

Gibby!

Gibby, hark.

Come here. Thank God you're still here.

I was just going
through your list and I got

to the part where it
said hire an editor.

What's the matter,
Marty? A girlfriend

pissing your eye?
That says fire an editor.

Thanks for clarifying that.

Yeah. Well, you know, times being
what they are. That's a pro tater.

Hey, Fisk. Your limo is here.

Oh, all right. Gibby, just one
more tiny, tiny, tiny little question.

Did you have any particular editor in mind?

No, no. It's entirely up to you.
They're your friends. Now, Marty, you will

take care of this, won't you?

Gibby, you know, Marty, if you do a
good job on this test drive, there might

be a little surprise in it
for you when I get back.

Really?

Joe, I'm going to be made
a vice president of the firm.

You can count on me. All right then.
Get the bags, will you?

And how did that make you feel?

Guilty. Obviously sad. A little betrayed.

You know what you need? A hug.

A what?

Sometimes people just need a hug.
Come here.

It's not very Freudian, is it?

No, but it's very real.

This is nice.

You know, I actually am beginning
to feel... What are you doing?

How does this make you feel?

Well, Herb, it fills me with rage.

Interesting, and?

And get the fuck off of me!

Ow! I hurt my wrist!

Todd's got the best agency contacts, right?
Marlene, she's very tight with

that guy in the Times.

And Carter, he brought
in that big surfing book.

Would you make up your mind already?
I'm missing my wrestling.

"Uneasy lies the head that wears a crown."

I'm thinking.

Well, don't strain
yourself too much, you

know. It's not like
you're the real boss.

Where's the triple fried beef?

Let me tell you something.
If you're ever going to get anywhere,

you're going to have to learn to
make decisions like this in a deliberate

and meaningful way.

Yeah, well, whatever
you do, don't fire Fred.

Wait a minute. Wait a minute. Why not Fred?

Well, you know, he's the type who
would come back with an AK-47 mow us all

down in the snack room.

Okay. Okay. That's it.
Come on. You leave it.

Wait. Hang on. I'm not full yet.

Martin, wait.

Toby's here. I assure you,
this is strictly professional.

Oh, please.

No, no. I know how it looks.

Two attractive people
ordering Chinese at the sour.

Would you stop?

Herb made a pass at me.

Oh, my God.

So I pushed him out the window.

What are you, going for a record?

Is he dead?

Broken wrist.

Hey, forget this firing idea.

All we have to do is
have one of these guys

near a window and
let Judith do her stuff.

Goodbye, Toby.

Nothing happened here tonight. Nothing.

Can I have some scotch, please?

Judith, I... This has really
not been a good week for me.

One dead, one injured.

Come on. There's lots of other therapists.

No, no, no. I don't want another therapist.

I'm not even sure that
I should be a therapist.

No, no, no, no, no.

You're just upset.

No, I'm serious.
I don't think I can do this anymore.

But this is what you are.
This is what you've always wanted to be.

No.
What I really wanted to be was a Princess.

This was my second choice.

Okay, look. What I'm getting
here is a feeling of powerlessness.

Oh, please don't give me
that psychological bullshit.

I am not in the mood.

Thank God. What am I supposed
to say to my patients tomorrow?

I'm more screwed up than they are.

Definitely.

Maybe you should take a few days off.

You know, I mean, get a little perspective.

Spend some time with the
baby and just... See you show.

Is it fantastic still playing?

It's been playing for 30 years.
I think it's a pretty safe bet.

Thanks.

Who am I to decide
whether a man's to live or die?

Here. I know you're having a hard
time, so I made you cappuccino.

Thank you, Toni. That's very thoughtful.

This is coffee.

I know, but I thought you'd enjoy
it more if I called it a cappuccino.

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry.

I know, but I thought you'd enjoy
it more if I called it a cappuccino.

So, did you make your decision yet?

No. No, I haven't.

None of these people deserve to be fired.

Well, look, maybe
it's not who's the worst.

Maybe it's who
needs to drop the least.

That's the most ridiculous
thing I've ever heard.

Suit yourself.

On the other hand... Carter!

How's your brother doing on his ranch?

Boy, it'd be great to trade
places with him, wouldn't it?

Out there, under the stars.

That's a life, isn't it?

Didn't I tell you? He got gored by a steer.

Really?

The worst part of it?
Guess who got stuck with the medical bills?

I just found out my
son's gonna need braces.

Oh, yeah? My kid had braces.

You know, it's a lot less
expensive than you might think.

I meant leg braces.

Oh. She left me, Martin.

After 37 years, gone.

Just like that.

And this would be your wife?

I came home and all there was was
a plate of scrambled eggs and a note.

Well, change can sometimes be a good thing.

If it weren't for this job, I
don't know what the fuck I'd do.

Keep up the good work.

I heard about your husband's promotion.

Please, congratulations.

Well, actually, that was Marlene's husband.

Mine just got laid off.

Oh.

Marlene, I just heard about your
husband's promotion. Congratulations.

Sure. Maybe he'll come out of the coma too.
Enjoy it.

How long do you think
we can live like this?

Under pressure 24 hours
a day, grinding us to pieces.

Okay. Okay. I'll just go to the staff
meeting, you know, and I'll see what

the people have and
I'll just make a decision.

Oh, you're better because Gibby
will be here in less than an hour.

Hello. Guess what?

Quick, Martin. Get away from the windows.

Stop it. Give me that.

Look, I'm kind of busy. Can this wait?

Well, I did it. I quit my job.

Uh-huh. Good for you.

No, no, no. I mean,
I really quit. I called

all my patients. I
gave them referrals.

I'm not a therapist anymore.

Terrific.

You really think so because I
really feel it's a very positive move.

Martin?

Sure. Sure. Well, at least
one of us can make a decision.

You have my complete and
total support and I gotta go.

Martin, there's just one more thing.

Yeah.

Uh, I'm just wondering
what I'm supposed to do now.

Okay.

Hey.

Hey.

Come on.

Okay.

You're the chair.

Okay.

Is that a new tire? It's just my eyes.

Shut up, Carter. Okay.

Let's just do it the way we always do it.

Todd, what do you have?

Actually, my throat's a little scratchy.
I think I might be coming down.

Books, books, books, Todd.
Come on. Make it quick.

Oh, okay. The year is 1943.
A little boy scurries through an alley.

Quicker.

Uh, incest.

Okay, Allison?

Well, it's a little hard to explain.

Well, try.

Um, adultery in a mountain cabin.

Marlene.

Bugs in a jar.

Fred?

Golf.

Regular or miniature?

Regular.

Terrific. Carter?

Tiny birds from
outer space teach a

little girl the true
meaning of Christmas.

This is it.

These are the ideas you have for me?

Oh, I think I'm having a nosebleed.

Oh, Todd, don't be a big baby.
Nobody ever died from a nosebleed.

Martin, calm down.

Are you making fun of me?

No.

Good. Because I don't think anyone
who hasn't had a decent book in two and a

half years should be making fun of anyone.

And you are just about this
close to being... yelled at.

A lot.

Ooh, a lot.

Don't laugh at me! There's nothing
to laugh about! I haven't heard a good

idea all day!

Hey, I thought my adultery
thing was pretty good.

It sucked. Maybe you should spend
a little more time on your work and a

little less time on your hair.

What?

What kind of staff are you, anyway?

I've got the Breck girl in idiot with a
nosebleed, a loser potential maniac,

and a woman whose
husband's got one foot

in the grave. I mean,
you're all useless!

I should fire every fucking one of you!

I love the delicate way you talk to
your employees and still indicate that

you're not quite pleased with them.

Excuse me.

Was I the loser or the potential maniac?

You know, I realize it's just like
that anxiety you feel right before you

dive off a high board.

You know what I mean?
That's always the hardest part.

After that, it's like a piece of cake.
It's just that... What are you doing?

Packing up. I'm fired.

What are you talking about?

Everyone else around here can do their job.

I had one little job to do and I
couldn't do it, so I fired myself.

Yeah, that's right. I had a little
talk with you. I took it pretty well.

No, no, no, no, no. This is okay.
Yeah, I'm okay. I'm just a failure. A

failure, a failure, a failure.

Okay, Martin, relax. Breathe.

Good.
Now, why don't you tell me what happened?

I can't choose.
You know, they're all

equally good and
they're all equally stupid.

No, mostly stupid, but I
just can't fucking pick one.

Well, if that's how you feel, then
here's something you might do.

Take a hat.

I don't have a hat.

Okay, then take a box.

There's one.

Good. Now, put all the names in the
box and just pull one out at random.

Oh, I'm not gonna do that.
That's ridiculous.

Why is it ridiculous?

Because it's not fair.

Not fair to whom?

The others.

And who were the others?

Everyone but Todd.

You've made your decision. There.
Now you just have to act on it.

I can't.

Why not?

Don't you understand?
He's another human being.

I can't. I just can't. He'll hate me.
They'll all hate me. I mean, I'll hate

me. There'll be a lot of hate.
You know, trust me.

Now, why are you so sure
that they're gonna hate you?

Because I'll be hateful.
Come on. I'll be just like Gibby.

They don't hate
Gibby because he's the

boss. They hate Gibby
because he's Gibby.

And you aren't.
And then whether he realized it or not,

Gibby picked a much better
person than himself to do the job.

Amen.

You quit your job?

[♪♪♪]

So how was your trip?

I came this close.

So, uh, you gave old Todd the boot, eh?

Not a healthy fellow. Was it fun?

No. No, not particularly, but I
feel comfortable with my decision.

Well, aren't you the little Wolverine?

Nice work.

As you may recall, I promised you a
little surprise when I returned, and I'm

a man of my word.

Joe, I'm going to be made
a vice president of the firm.

It's a whistle.

A whistle?

That's it?

Well, they also got you an oversized
chocolate phallus, but I got a bit

hungry on the flight. You know how it is.

You're giving me a whistle.

Well, it's not just a whistle. It's a
large wooden whistle. Do you like it?

No.

No, I don't.

What I'd like is a promotion.
What I'd like is a raise. What I'd like is

some fucking respect.

Oh. Well, well, you get the whistle.
Blow on that for a while, Marty.

Uh, by the way,
Gibby, I, uh, I gave

Todd an extra
nine-month suffering's pay.

You vicious backstabbing skin stick.

Here's the Rosenthal galleys.

And thank you for believing in me.

Oh!

You always say the right thing, don't you?

Especially to the boss.

Yeah.

Hey, you're still here.

Great. Hi.

Hi. How did things go with Todd?

Well, except for a brief seizure,
you know, it, uh, you took it pretty well.

And Gibby?

About the same.

Oh, oh, look, I, uh, I brought
you something for Little Richard.

Oh, that is so sweet. Oh, come here.

Look. Yes, this is for you.

Thanks, Martin.

Thank you. You don't mean for yesterday.

Oh, no, no, it was nothing.

No, no, no, it wasn't nothing.
You know, you were terrific.

Jude, don't, don't,
don't quit, okay? This

is what you're good
at, really, really.

I mean, you can help somebody as
fucked up as I... It's crazed. It's crazed.

As I am. You can help anybody.

You're right. I mean, I am good at
this, and I shouldn't just throw it away.

Martin, you're a genius.

But I'm going to. I don't want to
do this anymore. I'm too burned out.

What are you gonna do?

Well, I thought I'd do some volunteer
work, and Richard's gonna show me how

to do gene splicing, and... I mostly
just want to spend time with my baby.

My baby needs him.