All language subtitles for Bobs Burgers - 06x09 - Sacred Couch.SDI.English.HI.C.orig.Addic7ed.com

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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:05,187 --> 00:00:09,819 Sync & corrections by Rafael UPD www.addic7ed.com/ 2 00:00:17,064 --> 00:00:19,165 LINDA: Yay! 3 00:00:19,166 --> 00:00:20,700 Family TV night. 4 00:00:20,701 --> 00:00:23,036 Chippin' and sittin' and channel flippin'... 5 00:00:23,037 --> 00:00:24,537 it's everything we're good at. 6 00:00:24,572 --> 00:00:26,172 Also windsurfing. We never tried it, 7 00:00:26,173 --> 00:00:27,740 but I think we'd surprise ourselves. 8 00:00:27,775 --> 00:00:30,276 I tried windsurfing once. That's the whole story. 9 00:00:30,277 --> 00:00:31,878 Shh. I love this commercial. 10 00:00:31,879 --> 00:00:33,413 Everyone, shh. 11 00:00:33,447 --> 00:00:35,014 I'm the Sofa Queen, 12 00:00:35,015 --> 00:00:37,116 and I'm here to banish your ugly furniture. 13 00:00:37,117 --> 00:00:39,686 This child's bedroom set offends me. 14 00:00:39,687 --> 00:00:41,287 Off with his bed. 15 00:00:41,288 --> 00:00:43,490 Boom! Just like that, he's got a new bed. 16 00:00:43,524 --> 00:00:45,692 That's a futon fit for a fool. 17 00:00:45,693 --> 00:00:48,194 I'm gonna replace it, but with a couch, 18 00:00:48,229 --> 00:00:50,597 (mouthing): because normal adults do not own futons. 19 00:00:50,598 --> 00:00:53,199 Lin? Are you mouthing along with the commercial? Shh! 20 00:00:53,200 --> 00:00:54,734 (mouthing): I command my subjects 21 00:00:54,768 --> 00:00:57,203 to visit the Sofa Queen Furniture Outlet. 22 00:00:57,204 --> 00:00:58,972 Off Route 9 in Bog Harbor. 23 00:00:58,973 --> 00:01:01,074 Boi-oi-oi-oing! 24 00:01:01,075 --> 00:01:03,376 Aw. I love the Sofa Queen. 25 00:01:03,377 --> 00:01:05,245 Her sofas are firm but they're fair. 26 00:01:05,246 --> 00:01:06,746 Uh, Dad? Yeah? 27 00:01:06,747 --> 00:01:08,081 While we're on the subject of couches, 28 00:01:08,082 --> 00:01:09,749 maybe it would be a good time for you and Mom 29 00:01:09,750 --> 00:01:11,733 to have, you know, the talk? Oh. 30 00:01:11,752 --> 00:01:13,286 What's she mean? What talk? 31 00:01:13,287 --> 00:01:15,488 Is this about how messy Mom's purse has been? 32 00:01:15,489 --> 00:01:17,924 I love balled-up receipts as much as the next guy, 33 00:01:17,925 --> 00:01:19,926 but come on! No, Gene. 34 00:01:19,927 --> 00:01:22,662 Um, Lin, you really love the Sofa Queen, right? 35 00:01:22,663 --> 00:01:24,597 Maybe we should go to her store sometime. 36 00:01:24,598 --> 00:01:25,932 Ooh, fun. 37 00:01:25,933 --> 00:01:27,033 That would be fun. 38 00:01:27,067 --> 00:01:29,002 And...? Dad...? 39 00:01:29,003 --> 00:01:31,437 Uh, and while we're there, 40 00:01:31,438 --> 00:01:32,872 maybe we could get a new couch. 41 00:01:32,907 --> 00:01:34,240 What?! 42 00:01:34,275 --> 00:01:36,443 No, Bobby, no. I love our couch. 43 00:01:36,444 --> 00:01:38,945 It's family. No, no, absolutely not. No. 44 00:01:38,946 --> 00:01:41,314 We're family. And we're sitting on the floor. 45 00:01:41,315 --> 00:01:43,016 The couch smells really bad, Lin. 46 00:01:43,017 --> 00:01:44,918 It smells like memories. 47 00:01:44,919 --> 00:01:46,553 Memory musk. 48 00:01:46,587 --> 00:01:48,588 It smells like if all the food we've spilled on it 49 00:01:48,589 --> 00:01:51,057 had a war with all the butts that sat on it. 50 00:01:51,091 --> 00:01:52,926 (inhaling) I'm mostly getting Dad. 51 00:01:52,960 --> 00:01:55,028 The stuffing in the cushions is all lumpy. 52 00:01:55,029 --> 00:01:57,197 Well your cushions are pretty lumpy, too, mister. 53 00:01:57,198 --> 00:01:59,966 Aw, I love your lumps. Come on, let me t... Come on, let me t... Ow, ow. Ow! 54 00:02:00,000 --> 00:02:02,102 Mom, there's a damp spot on the couch 55 00:02:02,103 --> 00:02:03,269 that somehow never dries. 56 00:02:03,304 --> 00:02:04,471 Ever! It's always there! 57 00:02:04,472 --> 00:02:06,539 Yeah, like magic. It's special. 58 00:02:06,540 --> 00:02:08,541 Mmm! We have a history 59 00:02:08,542 --> 00:02:11,978 with this couch. Gene had his first throw up on it, 'member? 60 00:02:12,012 --> 00:02:13,146 (grunts) 61 00:02:13,147 --> 00:02:14,380 I remember that happening 62 00:02:14,381 --> 00:02:15,849 in an infinity pool, but whatever. 63 00:02:15,850 --> 00:02:18,551 Tina teethed on the armrest. Remember that? 64 00:02:18,552 --> 00:02:20,753 (mumbles) 65 00:02:20,788 --> 00:02:22,956 Yeah, we called the pediatrician to see if couch foam 66 00:02:22,957 --> 00:02:25,125 was okay for babies. He said no. 67 00:02:25,126 --> 00:02:26,526 Aw, he did. 68 00:02:26,527 --> 00:02:28,027 He said she could've choked and died. 69 00:02:28,028 --> 00:02:29,362 And you, Louise, 70 00:02:29,396 --> 00:02:30,697 with your couch forts. 71 00:02:30,731 --> 00:02:32,098 Fire! 72 00:02:32,133 --> 00:02:33,666 Ugh, Mom, we get it. 73 00:02:33,667 --> 00:02:35,969 The couch is just a thing. And when things are old, 74 00:02:35,970 --> 00:02:37,904 you get rid of 'em. Like libraries. 75 00:02:37,905 --> 00:02:40,673 Okay, I think the fairest way to do this is to put it to a vote. 76 00:02:40,708 --> 00:02:43,510 Everyone in favor of replacing the couch raise your hand. 77 00:02:43,511 --> 00:02:44,878 (growls) 78 00:02:44,879 --> 00:02:46,880 Looks like it's three to two, Bob. 79 00:02:46,881 --> 00:02:48,748 Mom's right, Louise. The couch is family. 80 00:02:48,749 --> 00:02:50,617 You too, Gene? Seriously? 81 00:02:50,651 --> 00:02:52,685 You're asking me to vote against Mom? 82 00:02:52,686 --> 00:02:54,320 I know where my butter's breaded. 83 00:02:54,321 --> 00:02:55,989 That's my boy. 84 00:02:55,990 --> 00:02:57,023 Come up on the couch with Mama. 85 00:02:57,024 --> 00:02:58,224 Come on. No! 86 00:02:58,225 --> 00:02:59,859 I think I'm gonna get some snacks. 87 00:02:59,860 --> 00:03:02,095 Dad, you like snacks, right? You snack, huh? 88 00:03:02,096 --> 00:03:03,196 Uh, sure, sometimes. 89 00:03:03,197 --> 00:03:04,197 (scoffing) 90 00:03:04,231 --> 00:03:05,311 Why are you pulling me? Ugh! 91 00:03:05,332 --> 00:03:06,566 What happened out there, Dad? 92 00:03:06,567 --> 00:03:07,834 Where-where were you? 93 00:03:07,835 --> 00:03:09,068 Louise, I tried. 94 00:03:09,069 --> 00:03:10,603 Not hard enough. 95 00:03:10,604 --> 00:03:12,605 Look, we'll get rid of the couch someday. 96 00:03:12,606 --> 00:03:14,607 How? Mom's never gonna give it up. 97 00:03:14,608 --> 00:03:16,876 I don't know, maybe something will happen to it. 98 00:03:16,877 --> 00:03:18,917 Were you serious about the snacks? 'Cause I hid some 99 00:03:18,946 --> 00:03:20,914 fudge pretzels from Gene, if you're interested. 100 00:03:20,915 --> 00:03:23,550 Back up. What-what do you mean, something will happen to it? 101 00:03:23,551 --> 00:03:25,785 I don't know. Maybe something will happen to the couch 102 00:03:25,786 --> 00:03:28,121 that'll make even your mom want to get rid of it. 103 00:03:28,122 --> 00:03:29,622 Right. 104 00:03:29,623 --> 00:03:32,692 Accidents happen to couches every day. Sure. 105 00:03:32,726 --> 00:03:34,260 I bet that's true. Mm-hmm. 106 00:03:34,261 --> 00:03:36,863 Found 'em. Ugh, Gene got to 'em. 107 00:03:36,864 --> 00:03:39,065 And he left a note. "Checkmate." 108 00:03:40,601 --> 00:03:42,602 (snoring) 109 00:03:47,575 --> 00:03:49,209 Oops! What am I doing? 110 00:03:49,210 --> 00:03:50,677 (laughing): Oops, I keep doing it. 111 00:03:50,711 --> 00:03:52,779 Stop. (sawing continues) 112 00:03:52,780 --> 00:03:54,814 Yay, family TV night! 113 00:03:54,815 --> 00:03:56,816 Why do we call it family TV night 114 00:03:56,817 --> 00:03:58,551 if we do it every night? 115 00:03:58,552 --> 00:04:00,253 Louise, you sure you don't want to join your mom 116 00:04:00,254 --> 00:04:01,654 over here on the couch? 117 00:04:01,655 --> 00:04:03,089 Uh, pass. 118 00:04:03,090 --> 00:04:04,624 Fine. More couch for me. 119 00:04:04,625 --> 00:04:06,893 Gene! Tina! Where are you? 120 00:04:06,927 --> 00:04:08,628 Get in on this, babies. 121 00:04:08,662 --> 00:04:10,563 First one on the couch gets to pick the show. 122 00:04:10,564 --> 00:04:12,265 You drive a hard bargain, woman. 123 00:04:12,266 --> 00:04:14,067 I want something with adult situations 124 00:04:14,068 --> 00:04:15,301 but I'd settle for mature themes. 125 00:04:15,302 --> 00:04:17,237 Sit, sit, sit, sit, sit, sit. 126 00:04:17,238 --> 00:04:18,304 Aah! 127 00:04:18,305 --> 00:04:21,107 (distorted screams) 128 00:04:21,142 --> 00:04:23,076 Oh, my God! 129 00:04:23,110 --> 00:04:24,210 Oh, my word! 130 00:04:24,245 --> 00:04:25,478 Oh, my God! Couch? 131 00:04:25,479 --> 00:04:26,746 Couch, say something! 132 00:04:26,747 --> 00:04:28,448 Give it mouth to mouth! 133 00:04:28,449 --> 00:04:31,017 Well, I guess we're getting a new couch after all. 134 00:04:31,018 --> 00:04:32,752 Yay! 135 00:04:32,753 --> 00:04:34,120 Anyway. Yay. 136 00:04:34,155 --> 00:04:36,016 (cries) 137 00:04:37,698 --> 00:04:40,231 The couch was too beautiful for this world. 138 00:04:40,232 --> 00:04:41,933 I'm sorry, Lin. What's that? 139 00:04:41,934 --> 00:04:44,302 It's instructions for whoever wants to take it home, Bob. 140 00:04:44,337 --> 00:04:46,404 Oh. That's optimistic. 141 00:04:46,405 --> 00:04:49,140 "Good with children. Does not fold out into a bed. 142 00:04:49,141 --> 00:04:50,775 Just folds out because it's broken." 143 00:04:50,776 --> 00:04:52,477 Oh, my God! What happened here? 144 00:04:52,511 --> 00:04:53,978 The couch is gone, Teddy. 145 00:04:53,979 --> 00:04:56,648 Linda, Linda, Linda. I am so sorry. 146 00:04:56,649 --> 00:04:58,650 Oh, you know, I... I-I just keep having 147 00:04:58,651 --> 00:05:00,452 to tell myself it's-it's life. 148 00:05:00,453 --> 00:05:02,020 It is. You know? It's natural. 149 00:05:02,021 --> 00:05:04,689 It is. I got a recliner that's getting on in years. 150 00:05:04,690 --> 00:05:06,658 Might be time to start making arrangements. 151 00:05:06,692 --> 00:05:08,793 Come on, people. Are we gonna stand around all day, 152 00:05:08,794 --> 00:05:10,695 or are we gonna go get a new couch? 153 00:05:10,696 --> 00:05:11,997 Oh, hold your horses. 154 00:05:11,998 --> 00:05:13,865 I want to be here if anyone takes it. 155 00:05:13,866 --> 00:05:15,533 Uh, I can keep an eye on it. 156 00:05:15,534 --> 00:05:17,435 I'll be here all day. Mr. Fischoeder hired me 157 00:05:17,436 --> 00:05:18,837 to do some repairs next door. 158 00:05:18,838 --> 00:05:20,538 The holistic healing place that moved out 159 00:05:20,539 --> 00:05:22,207 stripped all the copper out of the walls. 160 00:05:22,208 --> 00:05:24,376 Hmm. Still smells like incense in there, though. 161 00:05:24,377 --> 00:05:26,711 It's gonna be my most relaxing day of work ever. 162 00:05:26,712 --> 00:05:29,013 Anyway, I'll see that the couch goes to a good home. 163 00:05:29,014 --> 00:05:30,348 Aw, thank you, Teddy. 164 00:05:30,349 --> 00:05:31,683 Yeah, thanks, Teddy! Bye! 165 00:05:31,684 --> 00:05:33,718 Wait, wait, I need to get a picture. 166 00:05:33,719 --> 00:05:35,020 And a lock of its hair. 167 00:05:35,021 --> 00:05:36,655 Ooh, it's my hair. 168 00:05:37,957 --> 00:05:39,624 Here we are. The commercial 169 00:05:39,625 --> 00:05:42,027 doesn't do the place justice. Actually, it does. 170 00:05:42,061 --> 00:05:45,363 (gasps) There she is. Oh. 171 00:05:45,364 --> 00:05:47,532 Welcome to the Sofa Queen Furniture Outlet. 172 00:05:47,533 --> 00:05:49,034 What can I furnish you with today? 173 00:05:49,035 --> 00:05:52,103 Uh, is the Sofa Queen here? My wife is a huge fan. 174 00:05:52,138 --> 00:05:53,838 I'm afraid she's not, at the moment. 175 00:05:53,873 --> 00:05:55,407 Great. The queen's not even here? 176 00:05:55,408 --> 00:05:57,142 Oh, what's the point of anything? 177 00:05:57,143 --> 00:05:59,578 Well, the queen might not be here, 178 00:05:59,579 --> 00:06:01,479 but maybe you'd like to meet her loyal servant 179 00:06:01,480 --> 00:06:04,049 and brother-in-law, the Sofa Jester. 180 00:06:04,050 --> 00:06:05,517 That's me. 181 00:06:05,551 --> 00:06:06,751 (humming a tune) 182 00:06:09,555 --> 00:06:12,090 Well, this is kind of fun. Right? Lin? 183 00:06:12,091 --> 00:06:14,559 Maybe. Say what you say in the commercial. 184 00:06:14,594 --> 00:06:18,363 Oh, you mean: "Off Route 9 in Bog Harbor. Boi-oi-oi-oing!" 185 00:06:18,397 --> 00:06:20,732 Again. Off Route 9 in Bog Harbor. 186 00:06:20,733 --> 00:06:22,200 Boi-oi-oi-oi-oing! 187 00:06:22,234 --> 00:06:23,368 I'm numb, say it until I feel something. 188 00:06:23,369 --> 00:06:24,836 Lin... 189 00:06:24,870 --> 00:06:26,438 Off Route 9 in Bog Harbor. 190 00:06:26,439 --> 00:06:27,872 Boi-oi-oi-oi-oing! 191 00:06:27,907 --> 00:06:29,674 One more time. Okay, that's okay. 192 00:06:29,675 --> 00:06:31,576 Thanks. Thanks. No, no, no. We're done. Why? What? 193 00:06:31,577 --> 00:06:32,844 Let's go browse around. 194 00:06:32,845 --> 00:06:34,346 Oh, just browsing? 195 00:06:34,347 --> 00:06:35,614 No, no, we're gonna, I mean, 196 00:06:35,615 --> 00:06:37,055 we're definitely gonna buy something. 197 00:06:37,083 --> 00:06:38,717 No. It's okay, you're browsing. 198 00:06:38,751 --> 00:06:41,286 Um, uh, no. We're browsing until we buy. 199 00:06:41,287 --> 00:06:43,254 I'll believe it when I see it. 200 00:06:43,289 --> 00:06:45,390 BOB: Wow. So many options. 201 00:06:45,391 --> 00:06:47,258 It's like a rave for furniture. 202 00:06:47,293 --> 00:06:49,094 (phone rings) Oh, it's Teddy. 203 00:06:49,095 --> 00:06:51,429 Hi, Teddy. Hi, Lin. It's Teddy. 204 00:06:51,430 --> 00:06:53,365 Yeah. The couch, the couch! How's the couch? 205 00:06:53,366 --> 00:06:55,133 Uh, it's okay, it's here with me now. 206 00:06:55,134 --> 00:06:57,636 One guy showed some interest, but he had a beard, 207 00:06:57,637 --> 00:06:59,437 so I moved him along. Ew, a beard. 208 00:06:59,438 --> 00:07:01,740 Shoo, shoo! Some pigeons just landed on it. 209 00:07:01,741 --> 00:07:03,742 Oh! Get 'em off. Get 'em off it! Hey, shoo. Shoo. 210 00:07:03,743 --> 00:07:05,377 Aw, come on, get out of here. 211 00:07:05,378 --> 00:07:08,113 Get out of here! Now pigeons. Pigeons are on it now. 212 00:07:08,114 --> 00:07:09,948 Get off the couch! No, it was... 213 00:07:09,949 --> 00:07:11,616 (stammers) No, no, no, I'm yelling at the pigeons. 214 00:07:11,617 --> 00:07:13,051 (stammers) You can't tell what I'm doing here? 215 00:07:13,052 --> 00:07:14,419 I'm yelling at the pigeons. 216 00:07:14,420 --> 00:07:16,288 Officer, I'm yelling at the pigeons. 217 00:07:16,322 --> 00:07:19,224 Geez! Mom's got to pull herself together and move on. 218 00:07:19,225 --> 00:07:20,825 Give her some time. She's in shock. 219 00:07:20,826 --> 00:07:23,295 What happened to the couch was such a weird freak accident. 220 00:07:23,296 --> 00:07:25,096 (cackling) 221 00:07:25,097 --> 00:07:26,731 Why are you laughing like that? 222 00:07:26,732 --> 00:07:28,300 Weird freak accident? 223 00:07:28,334 --> 00:07:30,068 Oh, my God. 224 00:07:30,069 --> 00:07:31,603 Yeah. You did that? 225 00:07:31,637 --> 00:07:33,305 Did I weaken the wood under the couch 226 00:07:33,306 --> 00:07:34,806 by shaving it down with the file 227 00:07:34,807 --> 00:07:36,308 Mom uses on your toenails? 228 00:07:36,309 --> 00:07:37,909 No. Wink. 229 00:07:37,910 --> 00:07:39,144 I can't believe it. 230 00:07:39,178 --> 00:07:40,445 Well, you should, because 231 00:07:40,446 --> 00:07:41,613 it was your idea, Dad. 232 00:07:41,614 --> 00:07:43,348 What?! No, it wasn't. 233 00:07:43,349 --> 00:07:45,509 (deep voice): Maybe something will happen to the couch. 234 00:07:45,518 --> 00:07:46,785 I get it... You said that. 235 00:07:46,786 --> 00:07:48,086 I said... But I didn't mean... 236 00:07:48,120 --> 00:07:49,354 You ordered a hit. 237 00:07:49,355 --> 00:07:50,589 You can't unorder it. 238 00:07:50,623 --> 00:07:52,624 I did not order a hit, Louise. 239 00:07:52,625 --> 00:07:54,693 You didn't want to dirty your pretty hands, 240 00:07:54,694 --> 00:07:57,028 but you're not gonna hang me out to dry on this! 241 00:07:57,029 --> 00:07:58,597 Oh, God, here she comes. 242 00:07:58,631 --> 00:08:00,999 (whispering): This isn't over. It is over, 243 00:08:01,033 --> 00:08:02,767 'cause we're getting a new couch, 'cause I did 244 00:08:02,768 --> 00:08:04,302 what you didn't have the dumplings to do. 245 00:08:04,303 --> 00:08:05,837 Hi, Mom. Hi, Lin. 246 00:08:05,871 --> 00:08:08,106 Teddy said somebody in shorts tried to sit on the couch. 247 00:08:08,107 --> 00:08:09,507 He got there just in time. 248 00:08:09,508 --> 00:08:10,775 That's great. 249 00:08:10,776 --> 00:08:12,877 Well, uh, time to look around. 250 00:08:12,878 --> 00:08:14,579 Look at all the high chairs. 251 00:08:14,614 --> 00:08:16,181 That's the way to live. Why does anyone 252 00:08:16,182 --> 00:08:17,549 use low chairs anyway? 253 00:08:17,550 --> 00:08:19,851 Yeah! All chairs should have safety straps 254 00:08:19,852 --> 00:08:21,419 and pictures of bears on them. 255 00:08:21,454 --> 00:08:22,888 I'm gonna ask Mom and Dad to buy one. 256 00:08:22,889 --> 00:08:24,389 I'm sure I could still fit. 257 00:08:24,390 --> 00:08:27,325 Ha! Good luck, Teenage Mutant Teenager Legs. 258 00:08:27,326 --> 00:08:29,361 Uh, look who's talking, Girth Brooks. 259 00:08:29,362 --> 00:08:30,862 I beg your pardon? 260 00:08:30,863 --> 00:08:32,530 I've been a size six for years. 261 00:08:32,531 --> 00:08:35,000 I bet I can still fit in a high chair and you can't. 262 00:08:35,001 --> 00:08:36,635 What's the winner get? 263 00:08:36,669 --> 00:08:38,970 Hmm. A week of piggyback rides? 264 00:08:38,971 --> 00:08:39,804 You're on. 265 00:08:39,805 --> 00:08:41,039 (both grunting) 266 00:08:41,040 --> 00:08:42,307 Uh, uh, uh. Huh? 267 00:08:42,308 --> 00:08:43,842 SALESMAN: Let me guess, high chair bet? 268 00:08:43,843 --> 00:08:45,377 Uh... Uh... 269 00:08:45,378 --> 00:08:47,312 I've seen it before and it doesn't end well. 270 00:08:47,313 --> 00:08:49,581 Sorry, we'll get down. No, please. 271 00:08:49,582 --> 00:08:51,483 I support your foolhardy wager. 272 00:08:51,484 --> 00:08:53,051 We have a "you break it, you buy it" policy 273 00:08:53,052 --> 00:08:54,319 and I work on commission. 274 00:08:54,320 --> 00:08:55,854 Wow, what a nice guy. 275 00:08:55,855 --> 00:08:58,723 So this is fun, right? It's going pretty good. 276 00:08:58,758 --> 00:09:01,226 You think so? We've looked at 12 couches, Louise. 277 00:09:01,260 --> 00:09:03,728 Your Mom yelled at three of them and gave one the finger. 278 00:09:03,763 --> 00:09:06,131 Ooh, try this one, Mom. Take it for a spin. 279 00:09:06,165 --> 00:09:07,866 I'll sit on it because I'm tired. 280 00:09:07,900 --> 00:09:09,768 This doesn't mean anything, Mr. Couch. 281 00:09:09,769 --> 00:09:11,069 No funny business. 282 00:09:11,103 --> 00:09:12,671 Well? How does it feel? 283 00:09:12,705 --> 00:09:15,040 Eh. Maybe this one's not terrible. 284 00:09:15,041 --> 00:09:16,608 Come here, come-come try it. Ha! 285 00:09:18,211 --> 00:09:19,778 Yeah. It does feel good. 286 00:09:19,779 --> 00:09:21,079 It's all right. It's okay. Hmm. 287 00:09:21,080 --> 00:09:22,547 Yeah, not bad. 288 00:09:22,582 --> 00:09:26,117 Just browsing? Okay. There you go. Walking away. 289 00:09:26,118 --> 00:09:27,719 All right, coast is clear. 290 00:09:27,720 --> 00:09:29,888 On the count of three, jump into your high chair. 291 00:09:29,889 --> 00:09:31,223 Is this how babies do it? 292 00:09:31,224 --> 00:09:33,491 Fun babies. One... 293 00:09:33,526 --> 00:09:34,926 This might be a bad idea. 294 00:09:34,927 --> 00:09:36,394 Two... 295 00:09:36,395 --> 00:09:38,063 I take it back, it's a great idea! 296 00:09:38,097 --> 00:09:39,130 BOB: Gene, Tina. 297 00:09:39,131 --> 00:09:41,199 Ugh. What does he want? 298 00:09:41,234 --> 00:09:43,101 Oh! Found one you like, huh? 299 00:09:43,102 --> 00:09:44,703 Well, you have excellent taste. 300 00:09:44,704 --> 00:09:47,138 This might be the comfiest couch in the store. 301 00:09:47,139 --> 00:09:49,541 And I'm not just pushin' cushions. Boi-oi-oi-oing! 302 00:09:49,542 --> 00:09:51,443 Mm. Maybe no more boings. Sorry. 303 00:09:51,444 --> 00:09:54,045 Uh, guys, try out this couch. Nice. 304 00:09:54,080 --> 00:09:55,447 This is some real butt candy. 305 00:09:55,448 --> 00:09:57,249 It doesn't drip when you sit on it. 306 00:09:57,250 --> 00:09:59,451 We'll take it. No need to wrap it up, we'll wear it home. 307 00:09:59,452 --> 00:10:00,719 Uh, how much does it cost? 308 00:10:00,720 --> 00:10:02,120 Only $1,399.99. 309 00:10:02,121 --> 00:10:03,421 Kids, get off. Don't even look at it. 310 00:10:03,422 --> 00:10:04,923 Well, n... Wait, wait. 311 00:10:04,924 --> 00:10:07,893 I could sell you this floor model for $499.99. 312 00:10:07,927 --> 00:10:09,628 Wow, now that's a good deal. 313 00:10:09,629 --> 00:10:10,662 Boi-oi-oi... 314 00:10:10,663 --> 00:10:11,830 Sorry. Thank you. 315 00:10:11,831 --> 00:10:13,431 Mm-hmm. Now there's no returns 316 00:10:13,432 --> 00:10:15,800 and I have to point out it does have a stain on it. 317 00:10:17,470 --> 00:10:19,404 (all laugh) 318 00:10:19,405 --> 00:10:21,239 We'll teach it what stains are. 319 00:10:21,274 --> 00:10:22,407 So you'll take it? 320 00:10:22,441 --> 00:10:23,975 Mom, are you okay with this? 321 00:10:23,976 --> 00:10:26,912 Sure. Sure, let's do it. Let's do it. 322 00:10:26,946 --> 00:10:28,580 Terrific! I'll get the paperwork. 323 00:10:28,581 --> 00:10:30,515 And I'm supposed to do my little jester dance 324 00:10:30,516 --> 00:10:31,917 when I make a sale. 325 00:10:31,918 --> 00:10:33,318 Uh, we're good. You sure? 326 00:10:33,319 --> 00:10:34,686 It's quite playful. 327 00:10:34,687 --> 00:10:36,655 Fine. Just go ahead, yeah, yeah, do it. 328 00:10:36,656 --> 00:10:38,456 ♪ Yuh, gah-gah gah-gah, goy ♪ 329 00:10:38,457 --> 00:10:39,825 ♪ Yuh, mm, hey, ma-mommy ♪ 330 00:10:39,826 --> 00:10:41,593 ♪ Uh-ma, may, Na, byoya, oh! ♪ 331 00:10:41,594 --> 00:10:43,461 Linda, this is gonna be good, right? 332 00:10:43,462 --> 00:10:45,030 Yeah, you're right. 333 00:10:45,031 --> 00:10:47,365 Maybe this was for the best, you know? Who knows? 334 00:10:47,366 --> 00:10:49,868 See, Dad? It worked. What? 335 00:10:49,869 --> 00:10:51,803 Hmm? What did yo...? Wait. What did you say? 336 00:10:51,837 --> 00:10:54,139 I don't know. What-what did you... what did you say? 337 00:10:54,140 --> 00:10:55,473 The... Wh-What? 338 00:10:55,508 --> 00:10:58,176 You said, "It worked." What... worked? 339 00:10:58,177 --> 00:10:59,611 What worked?! All right, fine! 340 00:10:59,612 --> 00:11:01,012 We put the couch out of its misery! 341 00:11:01,013 --> 00:11:02,447 It was dying anyway. 342 00:11:02,448 --> 00:11:03,782 What?! What?! Oh, God. 343 00:11:03,783 --> 00:11:06,117 But look at this! Pretty new couch, right? 344 00:11:06,118 --> 00:11:07,752 It's so pretty. 345 00:11:07,787 --> 00:11:09,688 Who's "we?" Bob? Mm. What? 346 00:11:09,722 --> 00:11:12,123 "We put the couch out of its misery." Who's we? 347 00:11:12,158 --> 00:11:13,658 Wha-What? I... I'm sorry. I... What? 348 00:11:13,693 --> 00:11:15,994 Were you a part of this? I would like to say, 349 00:11:15,995 --> 00:11:17,796 I was just getting fudge pretzels, and... 350 00:11:17,830 --> 00:11:19,231 Checkmate! I know, Gene. 351 00:11:19,232 --> 00:11:21,666 And I did not mean in any way to cause... 352 00:11:21,701 --> 00:11:24,402 Monsters! Monsters! 353 00:11:24,403 --> 00:11:25,670 Linda! Wait! 354 00:11:25,671 --> 00:11:28,373 (Linda mutters, cries, wails) 355 00:11:28,374 --> 00:11:31,042 Okay. Perhaps I can throw in some pillows and blankets, 356 00:11:31,043 --> 00:11:33,812 'cause it looks like you're gonna be sleeping on this couch. 357 00:11:33,813 --> 00:11:37,039 Ha! Jesters. Always gotta be on. 358 00:11:38,612 --> 00:11:41,214 (panting): Linda! Wait! 359 00:11:41,215 --> 00:11:43,149 You and Louise killed the couch, Bob! 360 00:11:43,150 --> 00:11:44,817 You Kevorkianed it! 361 00:11:44,818 --> 00:11:46,486 Lin? Lin? 362 00:11:46,487 --> 00:11:48,554 Look, I'm not good at running around things, 363 00:11:48,589 --> 00:11:50,490 so just stop, so we can talk. 364 00:11:50,524 --> 00:11:52,225 Why'd you do it, Louise? 365 00:11:52,226 --> 00:11:54,894 You played God, and our couch wasn't even religious! 366 00:11:54,895 --> 00:11:57,263 Oh, don't you two couch-huggers start with me! 367 00:11:57,264 --> 00:11:58,263 Huh. 368 00:11:58,265 --> 00:11:59,866 That lady looks familiar. 369 00:11:59,867 --> 00:12:01,801 GENE (gasping): It's the Sofa Queen! 370 00:12:01,835 --> 00:12:03,569 The leader of the Ottoman Empire. 371 00:12:03,570 --> 00:12:07,373 Excuse me. I got to see a sofa queen about a drama queen. 372 00:12:07,408 --> 00:12:08,408 (knocking on door) 373 00:12:08,409 --> 00:12:09,409 Who is it? 374 00:12:09,410 --> 00:12:11,844 Uh, your Royal Highness? 375 00:12:11,879 --> 00:12:14,380 (fanfare plays) 376 00:12:14,415 --> 00:12:16,983 Oh, my God, it's the Sofa Queen. 377 00:12:17,017 --> 00:12:18,751 Curtsy time! Oh, right. 378 00:12:18,786 --> 00:12:20,753 (Gene and Tina groaning) 379 00:12:20,754 --> 00:12:22,422 Is that your wife? 380 00:12:22,456 --> 00:12:26,259 (sobbing) 381 00:12:26,293 --> 00:12:27,727 What'd you do to her? 382 00:12:27,728 --> 00:12:29,362 It's... uh, it's a long story. 383 00:12:29,363 --> 00:12:31,698 I thought we were getting a snack, and then, I... 384 00:12:31,699 --> 00:12:34,434 Okay, okay, okay. Let the woman with the crown talk her down. 385 00:12:34,435 --> 00:12:36,035 She's really good at this. 386 00:12:36,036 --> 00:12:37,870 She talked me into marrying her sister. 387 00:12:37,871 --> 00:12:39,772 That's why she's the queen and you're not. 388 00:12:39,773 --> 00:12:41,241 I know, I know. 389 00:12:41,242 --> 00:12:43,009 You could never be queen. I know! 390 00:12:43,043 --> 00:12:46,045 (gasping, jabbering, wailing) 391 00:12:46,046 --> 00:12:47,614 (sniffling) 392 00:12:47,615 --> 00:12:50,149 Please don't blow your nose on my display furniture. 393 00:12:50,150 --> 00:12:51,884 (gasps) It's you. 394 00:12:51,919 --> 00:12:53,620 Your Majesty, it's really you! 395 00:12:53,621 --> 00:12:55,088 And it's really you, 396 00:12:55,122 --> 00:12:57,257 lady crying in the middle of a store. 397 00:12:57,258 --> 00:12:59,626 Come on, make some room. (cries) 398 00:12:59,627 --> 00:13:02,095 Oh, I don't like this. We sell this? 399 00:13:02,096 --> 00:13:03,596 Did you bring this? 400 00:13:03,597 --> 00:13:05,198 I don't think so. 401 00:13:05,232 --> 00:13:06,766 Not much we can do here. 402 00:13:06,767 --> 00:13:08,234 Yeah, Sofa Queen's got this. 403 00:13:08,235 --> 00:13:10,470 To the high chairs? To the high chairs. 404 00:13:10,504 --> 00:13:12,272 (whispering): To the high chairs! 405 00:13:12,306 --> 00:13:14,440 They did what?! I know, right? 406 00:13:14,441 --> 00:13:16,643 You don't do that to a woman's couch! 407 00:13:16,644 --> 00:13:18,444 The couch I raised my babies on! 408 00:13:18,445 --> 00:13:19,879 Horrible! Hey, Bob! 409 00:13:19,914 --> 00:13:20,947 Oh, no. 410 00:13:20,948 --> 00:13:22,315 Uh, yes, Your Majesty? 411 00:13:22,349 --> 00:13:23,416 What's wrong with you? 412 00:13:23,450 --> 00:13:24,651 I didn't, um... 413 00:13:24,652 --> 00:13:25,919 I wasn't thinking. 414 00:13:25,920 --> 00:13:27,253 It's complicated 'cause I... 415 00:13:27,288 --> 00:13:28,922 Don't touch that! Sorry. 416 00:13:28,923 --> 00:13:30,290 I got to say, 417 00:13:30,291 --> 00:13:31,691 that sounds like a special couch. 418 00:13:31,692 --> 00:13:33,126 You got any pictures? 419 00:13:33,127 --> 00:13:34,460 Yeah, I took one this morning... here. 420 00:13:34,461 --> 00:13:35,662 Look, there you go. Mm. 421 00:13:35,663 --> 00:13:38,364 Oh, that's, uh... Yeah. 422 00:13:38,365 --> 00:13:40,099 Uh... Hmm. 423 00:13:40,100 --> 00:13:41,501 Good couch, right? 424 00:13:41,502 --> 00:13:43,036 It's got character. 425 00:13:43,037 --> 00:13:45,438 Yeah, it's got character splattered all over it. 426 00:13:45,439 --> 00:13:48,942 Linda, that's what we call in the industry a nasty couch. 427 00:13:48,943 --> 00:13:51,611 Oh. Right. I gue... I gue... I guess it's bad. 428 00:13:51,612 --> 00:13:53,012 I guess it's bad. (chuckles) 429 00:13:53,013 --> 00:13:54,347 Okay, it's bad. 430 00:13:54,381 --> 00:13:56,115 Linda, you're gonna think 431 00:13:56,116 --> 00:13:58,451 I'm only trying to sell you a new couch, and I am. 432 00:13:58,452 --> 00:13:59,853 I'm the Sofa Queen. 433 00:13:59,854 --> 00:14:01,588 But I think you know what you gotta do. 434 00:14:01,622 --> 00:14:03,056 What? You know. 435 00:14:03,057 --> 00:14:04,457 I do? Yes. 436 00:14:04,458 --> 00:14:05,892 New couch? New couch. 437 00:14:05,893 --> 00:14:07,861 I love you. I know. 438 00:14:07,862 --> 00:14:09,829 Give me huggies! Too much. 439 00:14:09,830 --> 00:14:11,498 Oh, I'm sorry. I'm sorry. Sorry. 440 00:14:11,499 --> 00:14:13,666 Don't touch the queen. Sor-Sorry. Sorry. 441 00:14:13,701 --> 00:14:15,869 So it's really happening... we're getting a new couch. 442 00:14:15,870 --> 00:14:18,037 It is, and you are welcome. 443 00:14:18,038 --> 00:14:19,906 We're actually replacing Old Stinko. 444 00:14:19,907 --> 00:14:21,374 Yup. 445 00:14:21,375 --> 00:14:22,809 John Stain-mos. 446 00:14:22,810 --> 00:14:23,843 Mm-hmm. 447 00:14:23,844 --> 00:14:25,879 Old... Fartcatcher. 448 00:14:25,880 --> 00:14:27,313 Okay, Dad, take it easy. 449 00:14:27,314 --> 00:14:28,715 Back off a little. 450 00:14:28,716 --> 00:14:30,183 Sorry, I-I got on a roll there. 451 00:14:30,217 --> 00:14:31,651 (both yelling) 452 00:14:31,652 --> 00:14:33,052 Get it off! Get it off! 453 00:14:33,053 --> 00:14:35,688 Why did we do this?! It pinches! It pinches! 454 00:14:35,689 --> 00:14:37,724 This can't be safe for babies! (groaning) 455 00:14:37,725 --> 00:14:39,192 (Tina and Gene groaning) Aah! 456 00:14:39,193 --> 00:14:40,727 Why am I doing this?! 457 00:14:40,728 --> 00:14:42,762 I knew I wouldn't fit. What came over me?! 458 00:14:42,763 --> 00:14:45,131 It's intoxicating! Aah! 459 00:14:45,166 --> 00:14:46,900 LINDA: Come on, everybody eat faster 460 00:14:46,934 --> 00:14:48,668 so we can start TV night on the new couch! 461 00:14:48,669 --> 00:14:50,270 Where are the napkins? 462 00:14:50,271 --> 00:14:51,571 Do you mean the paper towel roll? 463 00:14:51,572 --> 00:14:52,839 Yeah. 464 00:14:52,840 --> 00:14:54,074 This guy hangs out with a queen. 465 00:14:54,075 --> 00:14:55,942 Now he's using napkins. 466 00:14:55,943 --> 00:14:58,578 (sighs) Someone kicked the paper towel roll down the hall. 467 00:14:58,579 --> 00:15:00,747 Again. Louise, did you do that? 468 00:15:00,748 --> 00:15:02,715 Kick the paper towel roll? Of course. 469 00:15:02,716 --> 00:15:04,384 It's a paper towel roll. 470 00:15:04,385 --> 00:15:06,286 Right. Well, would you get it, please? 471 00:15:06,287 --> 00:15:07,687 Ugh! Fine! 472 00:15:10,758 --> 00:15:12,826 Oh. Huh. 473 00:15:12,860 --> 00:15:15,228 Hi. Well, this is awkward. 474 00:15:15,262 --> 00:15:18,231 Just... not gonna look out there again. 475 00:15:18,232 --> 00:15:19,799 Oh, God, I looked. 476 00:15:19,800 --> 00:15:21,401 I see you, okay?! 477 00:15:21,435 --> 00:15:23,069 I know what you're trying to pull, 478 00:15:23,070 --> 00:15:24,437 looking all pathetic on the curb. 479 00:15:24,472 --> 00:15:25,972 But it's not gonna work. 480 00:15:25,973 --> 00:15:27,574 I'll just close my eyes. 481 00:15:27,608 --> 00:15:28,875 (laughs) 482 00:15:28,909 --> 00:15:30,543 Okay, shouldn't have closed my eyes. 483 00:15:30,544 --> 00:15:32,212 Louise, I need a paper towel, please. 484 00:15:32,213 --> 00:15:34,214 Gene motorboated his pasta again. 485 00:15:34,215 --> 00:15:36,249 Oh. Mm-hmm. Old couch. 486 00:15:36,250 --> 00:15:38,766 Yup. It's gonna be fine, right? 487 00:15:38,786 --> 00:15:40,386 Are you kidding? It's gonna be great! 488 00:15:40,421 --> 00:15:42,822 It's got a rich, full life ahead of it. 489 00:15:42,823 --> 00:15:44,290 Ooh! Ooh! 490 00:15:44,325 --> 00:15:45,759 It-It's gonna shake that off. 491 00:15:45,760 --> 00:15:46,993 Yeah, that wasn't... that sad. 492 00:15:46,994 --> 00:15:48,061 No. 493 00:15:48,095 --> 00:15:49,129 There you are! 494 00:15:49,130 --> 00:15:50,563 You missed the part of dinner 495 00:15:50,564 --> 00:15:51,965 where we all put our plates in the sink 496 00:15:51,966 --> 00:15:53,600 and pretend somebody's gonna do the dishes. 497 00:15:53,601 --> 00:15:55,201 All right, new couch, here we come! So this is 498 00:15:55,236 --> 00:15:56,970 what it feels like to sit upright. 499 00:15:56,971 --> 00:15:58,405 It's nice. The room looks different. 500 00:15:58,439 --> 00:15:59,973 Oh, here comes another car. 501 00:15:59,974 --> 00:16:01,608 Is it gonna...? Oh, God. (water splashing) 502 00:16:01,609 --> 00:16:03,176 It hit the puddle. 503 00:16:03,177 --> 00:16:04,611 Looked like he went out of his way to hit it. 504 00:16:04,612 --> 00:16:06,079 What am I being so sappy about? 505 00:16:06,080 --> 00:16:07,580 Sure I liked making couch forts, 506 00:16:07,581 --> 00:16:09,182 but I can make forts with the new couch. 507 00:16:09,183 --> 00:16:10,950 Uh, actually, the cushions don't come off. 508 00:16:10,951 --> 00:16:13,353 Oh. Okay, but the old couch is scruffy. 509 00:16:13,354 --> 00:16:14,988 I mean... (scoffs) 510 00:16:14,989 --> 00:16:17,090 we don't keep scruffy things in this house, right? 511 00:16:17,091 --> 00:16:19,092 Are you serious? Oh, right. 512 00:16:19,093 --> 00:16:21,027 Yeah. It's like Scruff City. 513 00:16:24,732 --> 00:16:25,965 Son of a bitch. 514 00:16:25,966 --> 00:16:27,267 We gotta go get it. 515 00:16:27,301 --> 00:16:28,501 Hmm. Sounds like you just said, 516 00:16:28,502 --> 00:16:29,636 "We've gotta go get it." 517 00:16:29,637 --> 00:16:31,071 Like, right now. 518 00:16:31,105 --> 00:16:32,639 What are you guys talkin' about over there? 519 00:16:32,640 --> 00:16:34,107 We gotta get the old couch back. 520 00:16:34,141 --> 00:16:35,308 Oh, thank God. 521 00:16:35,309 --> 00:16:36,976 I don't know who I am on this couch. 522 00:16:36,977 --> 00:16:39,312 Yeah! I don't like who I am on this couch. 523 00:16:39,313 --> 00:16:41,114 What?! Oh, no, no, no! 524 00:16:41,115 --> 00:16:44,017 I wanted to keep the old couch, but you told me I was nuts! 525 00:16:44,018 --> 00:16:46,653 So we went through all this, and now you think it isn't nuts? 526 00:16:46,687 --> 00:16:48,354 It is pretty nuts, you guys. 527 00:16:48,355 --> 00:16:50,957 I know, okay? It's just, how can you not look 528 00:16:50,958 --> 00:16:53,993 at that stinky old couch out there and not want it inside? 529 00:16:54,028 --> 00:16:56,229 It's... it's one of us. 530 00:16:56,263 --> 00:16:58,465 Yeah! Old couch came out of Mom! 531 00:16:58,466 --> 00:17:01,000 So, you do like the old couch? 532 00:17:01,035 --> 00:17:02,802 No! It's a gross, 533 00:17:02,837 --> 00:17:05,839 lumpy, dumpy monster, and... aah! 534 00:17:05,840 --> 00:17:07,607 Let's just go get it, okay? 535 00:17:07,641 --> 00:17:09,042 Uh... all right. 536 00:17:09,043 --> 00:17:10,410 Let's go! Let's do it! 537 00:17:11,512 --> 00:17:12,651 Oh, my God, it's gone! 538 00:17:13,814 --> 00:17:15,214 LINDA, GENE, TINA and LOUISE: What?! 539 00:17:16,917 --> 00:17:19,219 Good news! Someone picked up the couch! 540 00:17:19,253 --> 00:17:21,654 No! No! No! 541 00:17:21,689 --> 00:17:25,039 You guys react weird to good news. GENE: Yes! 542 00:17:25,634 --> 00:17:29,021 Where the freak is our couch?! It was here just a second ago. 543 00:17:29,022 --> 00:17:31,414 Yeah, these guys came and got it. I would've told you, 544 00:17:31,448 --> 00:17:33,883 but I didn't want to interrupt your time with the new couch. 545 00:17:33,884 --> 00:17:35,685 Those first moments of bonding are so important. 546 00:17:35,719 --> 00:17:37,153 Who was it? Some teenage boys. 547 00:17:37,154 --> 00:17:38,387 They were in a band. 548 00:17:38,388 --> 00:17:39,855 Exchange me for the couch. 549 00:17:39,856 --> 00:17:40,856 I'm willing to make that sacrifice. 550 00:17:40,857 --> 00:17:42,725 No, Tina. A band?! 551 00:17:42,726 --> 00:17:44,160 Why did they want our couch? 552 00:17:44,161 --> 00:17:45,628 Probably to sit on. Lazy band. 553 00:17:45,629 --> 00:17:47,096 They invited me to their show. 554 00:17:47,130 --> 00:17:48,631 It's next Friday at the Ear Drum. 555 00:17:48,632 --> 00:17:50,666 I haven't been to a rock show in a while. 556 00:17:50,667 --> 00:17:52,535 What do I wear? Are sleeveless shirts still cool? 557 00:17:52,536 --> 00:17:54,136 We've got to go to the Ear Drum 558 00:17:54,137 --> 00:17:55,838 and see if anyone knows how to find these guys. 559 00:17:55,839 --> 00:17:58,174 Yeah. Or we could just go back upstairs 560 00:17:58,175 --> 00:17:59,876 and think about all the good times we had with the... 561 00:17:59,877 --> 00:18:01,510 Come on, we're going! Let's go! Mm-hmm. 562 00:18:01,511 --> 00:18:03,879 Yeah, scope it out. Pay attention to the shirts. 563 00:18:03,880 --> 00:18:06,349 Sleeves? No sleeves? Let me know! 564 00:18:07,684 --> 00:18:08,918 It's four teenage boys. 565 00:18:08,919 --> 00:18:10,152 They're playing here next Friday. 566 00:18:10,153 --> 00:18:11,520 Oh, I know those guys. 567 00:18:11,555 --> 00:18:13,222 Yeah, w-what do they call themselves now? 568 00:18:13,223 --> 00:18:14,690 They're-they're always changing their name. 569 00:18:14,691 --> 00:18:16,392 Uh, used to be the Melon Smashers. 570 00:18:16,393 --> 00:18:17,760 Then they were the Vase Breakers. 571 00:18:17,761 --> 00:18:19,362 Now they're called, um... 572 00:18:19,363 --> 00:18:20,796 oh, yeah, yeah, the Couch Burners. 573 00:18:20,831 --> 00:18:22,231 Aah! Aah! Aah! 574 00:18:22,232 --> 00:18:24,033 Oh, God. The Couch Burners? 575 00:18:24,034 --> 00:18:26,736 Those idiots are gonna burn our couch and put it on their flyer! 576 00:18:26,770 --> 00:18:28,437 Oh, they got your couch, huh? 577 00:18:28,438 --> 00:18:30,072 Well, why'd you give your couch to the Couch Burners? 578 00:18:30,107 --> 00:18:31,674 Look: on both flyers, 579 00:18:31,675 --> 00:18:33,342 they're standing on the railroad tracks. 580 00:18:33,343 --> 00:18:34,911 BOB: Hey, that's the old train depot. 581 00:18:34,945 --> 00:18:36,546 You're an old train depot! 582 00:18:36,547 --> 00:18:38,848 Come on, people. We got a couch to save. 583 00:18:38,849 --> 00:18:40,516 (lighter clicks open) 584 00:18:40,517 --> 00:18:42,051 After we get the shot we're gonna use, 585 00:18:42,052 --> 00:18:43,619 we should get one silly one, just for sillies. 586 00:18:43,620 --> 00:18:45,021 Oh, sure, yeah. 587 00:18:45,055 --> 00:18:46,322 There they are! 588 00:18:46,356 --> 00:18:47,723 Bunch of sick sofa psychos! 589 00:18:47,724 --> 00:18:49,125 And there's the couch! 590 00:18:49,126 --> 00:18:50,860 Get 'em, Dad! Run, Bobby! 591 00:18:50,861 --> 00:18:53,029 Why do I have to...? Oh, fine. 592 00:18:53,063 --> 00:18:55,464 (wheezing) 593 00:18:56,700 --> 00:18:58,634 Excuse me! Hey! 594 00:18:58,635 --> 00:19:00,403 Dude, are you okay? 595 00:19:00,404 --> 00:19:01,871 Yeah, I'm fine, I just... 596 00:19:01,905 --> 00:19:04,206 Uh, are you the, uh, Couch Burners? 597 00:19:04,241 --> 00:19:05,942 Oh, my God, have you heard of us? 598 00:19:05,976 --> 00:19:08,711 Uh, I'm really sorry to do this, but we need that couch back. 599 00:19:08,712 --> 00:19:10,613 It's ours, and you're not gonna burn it! 600 00:19:10,647 --> 00:19:12,582 We found this thing on the street. 601 00:19:12,583 --> 00:19:14,817 Finders, keepers. Keepers, burners. 602 00:19:14,818 --> 00:19:17,053 It's gonna be immortalized on our new flyer, so... 603 00:19:17,054 --> 00:19:18,688 you're welcome. Ha. 604 00:19:18,722 --> 00:19:21,090 Listen, the couch has been in the family a long time. 605 00:19:21,091 --> 00:19:22,491 Please give it back to us. 606 00:19:22,492 --> 00:19:24,093 Sir, I get it. You love the couch. 607 00:19:24,094 --> 00:19:26,095 Yes, we do. 608 00:19:26,096 --> 00:19:28,497 But if you love something, set it on fire. 609 00:19:28,498 --> 00:19:30,099 Those are good lyrics, man. 610 00:19:30,100 --> 00:19:31,567 I know, right? 611 00:19:31,602 --> 00:19:33,235 Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa! No! 612 00:19:33,236 --> 00:19:35,605 Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! 613 00:19:35,606 --> 00:19:37,740 What if we could get you a different couch to burn, huh? 614 00:19:37,741 --> 00:19:39,508 Yeah, yeah! A buh-buh better couch! 615 00:19:39,509 --> 00:19:43,112 Linda, you're not talking about the new couch? Why not? 616 00:19:43,113 --> 00:19:44,513 Yeah, Dad, why not? 617 00:19:44,514 --> 00:19:46,249 'Cause it cost $499.99. 618 00:19:46,283 --> 00:19:47,917 It's a floor model. We can't return it! 619 00:19:47,918 --> 00:19:49,819 Yeah, Bob. What did you think we were gonna do with it 620 00:19:49,820 --> 00:19:51,687 when we took the old one back? 621 00:19:51,688 --> 00:19:54,423 I was imagining we'd prop one couch up on the other one, 622 00:19:54,424 --> 00:19:56,292 so it looked like they were making love. 623 00:19:56,293 --> 00:19:57,727 Aw. Mmm! 624 00:19:57,761 --> 00:19:59,662 Well, we could sell it. 625 00:19:59,663 --> 00:20:02,031 Damn it, Dad! Do you want the old couch back or don't you?! 626 00:20:02,032 --> 00:20:03,466 (sighs) Okay, fine. 627 00:20:03,500 --> 00:20:05,468 Wait, hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on a second. 628 00:20:05,469 --> 00:20:07,169 We don't know anything about this new couch. 629 00:20:07,170 --> 00:20:08,938 Yeah! What's going on there? 630 00:20:08,972 --> 00:20:10,439 Well, what do you need to know? 631 00:20:10,474 --> 00:20:12,742 Well, like, can you burn it? 632 00:20:12,776 --> 00:20:14,810 Um, yeah, you can. 633 00:20:14,845 --> 00:20:16,679 Okay, we'll take it! 634 00:20:16,680 --> 00:20:17,813 (flames crackling, camera shutter clicks) 635 00:20:17,814 --> 00:20:18,814 All right, guys, one more. 636 00:20:18,815 --> 00:20:19,815 (camera shutter clicks) 637 00:20:19,816 --> 00:20:20,816 No, you had your eyes closed 638 00:20:20,817 --> 00:20:22,518 again, so... one more. 639 00:20:22,553 --> 00:20:25,521 Here we go. All right, eyes are still closed, so... 640 00:20:25,555 --> 00:20:27,189 I... Still? Yeah, just open them. You had them closed. 641 00:20:27,190 --> 00:20:28,858 I so feel like my eyes are open. 642 00:20:28,859 --> 00:20:30,693 Open your eyes and let me take this. All right. 643 00:20:30,694 --> 00:20:32,795 (camera shutter clicks) All of you, closed. 644 00:20:32,796 --> 00:20:35,031 Okay, we both... Guys, we got to take it while it's still burning. 645 00:20:35,065 --> 00:20:37,533 If you put one foot in front of the other, you'll look thinner. 646 00:20:37,534 --> 00:20:39,869 Yeah, that's perfect. 647 00:20:39,903 --> 00:20:42,505 BOB: Ugh. We got the couch back, Mom. We did it. 648 00:20:42,506 --> 00:20:45,141 Yup. Who knows a good upholsterer? Anyone? 649 00:20:45,142 --> 00:20:46,709 I do know a good upholsterer. 650 00:20:46,710 --> 00:20:48,477 He's on Cape Cod! 651 00:20:48,478 --> 00:20:50,480 Quick fort while we're waiting for new couch to burn? 652 00:20:50,481 --> 00:20:53,549 Sure! Dibs on the spot that smells like guacamole! 653 00:20:53,550 --> 00:20:55,017 SINGER (speaking): ♪ If you love something ♪ 654 00:20:55,018 --> 00:20:58,321 ♪ Set it on fire ♪ 655 00:20:58,322 --> 00:21:00,923 ♪ Like a couch ♪ 656 00:21:00,924 --> 00:21:02,391 ♪ Or your shoes ♪ 657 00:21:02,392 --> 00:21:04,327 LINDA: Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa! 658 00:21:04,328 --> 00:21:06,329 BAND (singing): ♪ If you love something ♪ 659 00:21:06,330 --> 00:21:09,165 ♪ Set it on fire ♪ 660 00:21:09,166 --> 00:21:11,033 ♪ If you love something ♪ 661 00:21:11,034 --> 00:21:14,537 ♪ Set it on fire ♪ 662 00:21:14,538 --> 00:21:16,939 SINGER (speaking): ♪ If you love something ♪ 663 00:21:16,940 --> 00:21:19,041 ♪ Set it on fire ♪ 664 00:21:19,042 --> 00:21:21,844 BAND (singing): ♪ But safety first! ♪ 665 00:21:21,845 --> 00:21:23,546 ♪ Safety first! ♪ 666 00:21:23,547 --> 00:21:28,347 Sync & corrections by Rafael UPD www.addic7ed.com/ 45002

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