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1
00:00:05,187 --> 00:00:09,819
Sync & corrections by Rafael UPD
www.addic7ed.com/
2
00:00:17,064 --> 00:00:19,165
LINDA: Yay!
3
00:00:19,166 --> 00:00:20,700
Family TV night.
4
00:00:20,701 --> 00:00:23,036
Chippin' and sittin'
and channel flippin'...
5
00:00:23,037 --> 00:00:24,537
it's everything we're good at.
6
00:00:24,572 --> 00:00:26,172
Also windsurfing.
We never tried it,
7
00:00:26,173 --> 00:00:27,740
but I think
we'd surprise ourselves.
8
00:00:27,775 --> 00:00:30,276
I tried windsurfing once.
That's the whole story.
9
00:00:30,277 --> 00:00:31,878
Shh. I love this commercial.
10
00:00:31,879 --> 00:00:33,413
Everyone, shh.
11
00:00:33,447 --> 00:00:35,014
I'm the Sofa Queen,
12
00:00:35,015 --> 00:00:37,116
and I'm here to banish
your ugly furniture.
13
00:00:37,117 --> 00:00:39,686
This child's bedroom
set offends me.
14
00:00:39,687 --> 00:00:41,287
Off with his bed.
15
00:00:41,288 --> 00:00:43,490
Boom! Just like that,
he's got a new bed.
16
00:00:43,524 --> 00:00:45,692
That's a futon fit for a fool.
17
00:00:45,693 --> 00:00:48,194
I'm gonna replace it,
but with a couch,
18
00:00:48,229 --> 00:00:50,597
(mouthing): because normal
adults do not own futons.
19
00:00:50,598 --> 00:00:53,199
Lin? Are you mouthing along
with the commercial? Shh!
20
00:00:53,200 --> 00:00:54,734
(mouthing):
I command my subjects
21
00:00:54,768 --> 00:00:57,203
to visit the Sofa Queen
Furniture Outlet.
22
00:00:57,204 --> 00:00:58,972
Off Route 9 in Bog Harbor.
23
00:00:58,973 --> 00:01:01,074
Boi-oi-oi-oing!
24
00:01:01,075 --> 00:01:03,376
Aw. I love the Sofa Queen.
25
00:01:03,377 --> 00:01:05,245
Her sofas are firm
but they're fair.
26
00:01:05,246 --> 00:01:06,746
Uh, Dad?
Yeah?
27
00:01:06,747 --> 00:01:08,081
While we're on
the subject of couches,
28
00:01:08,082 --> 00:01:09,749
maybe it would be a good
time for you and Mom
29
00:01:09,750 --> 00:01:11,733
to have, you know, the talk? Oh.
30
00:01:11,752 --> 00:01:13,286
What's she mean?
What talk?
31
00:01:13,287 --> 00:01:15,488
Is this about how messy
Mom's purse has been?
32
00:01:15,489 --> 00:01:17,924
I love balled-up receipts
as much as the next guy,
33
00:01:17,925 --> 00:01:19,926
but come on!
No, Gene.
34
00:01:19,927 --> 00:01:22,662
Um, Lin, you really love
the Sofa Queen, right?
35
00:01:22,663 --> 00:01:24,597
Maybe we should
go to her store sometime.
36
00:01:24,598 --> 00:01:25,932
Ooh, fun.
37
00:01:25,933 --> 00:01:27,033
That would be fun.
38
00:01:27,067 --> 00:01:29,002
And...? Dad...?
39
00:01:29,003 --> 00:01:31,437
Uh, and while we're there,
40
00:01:31,438 --> 00:01:32,872
maybe we could get a new couch.
41
00:01:32,907 --> 00:01:34,240
What?!
42
00:01:34,275 --> 00:01:36,443
No, Bobby, no. I love our couch.
43
00:01:36,444 --> 00:01:38,945
It's family.
No, no, absolutely not. No.
44
00:01:38,946 --> 00:01:41,314
We're family. And we're
sitting on the floor.
45
00:01:41,315 --> 00:01:43,016
The couch smells
really bad, Lin.
46
00:01:43,017 --> 00:01:44,918
It smells like memories.
47
00:01:44,919 --> 00:01:46,553
Memory musk.
48
00:01:46,587 --> 00:01:48,588
It smells like if all the food
we've spilled on it
49
00:01:48,589 --> 00:01:51,057
had a war with all the butts
that sat on it.
50
00:01:51,091 --> 00:01:52,926
(inhaling)
I'm mostly getting Dad.
51
00:01:52,960 --> 00:01:55,028
The stuffing in the cushions
is all lumpy.
52
00:01:55,029 --> 00:01:57,197
Well your cushions are
pretty lumpy, too, mister.
53
00:01:57,198 --> 00:01:59,966
Aw, I love your lumps. Come on, let me
t... Come on, let me t... Ow, ow. Ow!
54
00:02:00,000 --> 00:02:02,102
Mom, there's a damp
spot on the couch
55
00:02:02,103 --> 00:02:03,269
that somehow never dries.
56
00:02:03,304 --> 00:02:04,471
Ever!
It's always there!
57
00:02:04,472 --> 00:02:06,539
Yeah, like magic. It's special.
58
00:02:06,540 --> 00:02:08,541
Mmm!
We have a history
59
00:02:08,542 --> 00:02:11,978
with this couch. Gene had his
first throw up on it, 'member?
60
00:02:12,012 --> 00:02:13,146
(grunts)
61
00:02:13,147 --> 00:02:14,380
I remember that happening
62
00:02:14,381 --> 00:02:15,849
in an infinity pool,
but whatever.
63
00:02:15,850 --> 00:02:18,551
Tina teethed on the armrest.
Remember that?
64
00:02:18,552 --> 00:02:20,753
(mumbles)
65
00:02:20,788 --> 00:02:22,956
Yeah, we called the pediatrician
to see if couch foam
66
00:02:22,957 --> 00:02:25,125
was okay for babies.
He said no.
67
00:02:25,126 --> 00:02:26,526
Aw, he did.
68
00:02:26,527 --> 00:02:28,027
He said she could've
choked and died.
69
00:02:28,028 --> 00:02:29,362
And you, Louise,
70
00:02:29,396 --> 00:02:30,697
with your couch forts.
71
00:02:30,731 --> 00:02:32,098
Fire!
72
00:02:32,133 --> 00:02:33,666
Ugh, Mom, we get it.
73
00:02:33,667 --> 00:02:35,969
The couch is just a thing.
And when things are old,
74
00:02:35,970 --> 00:02:37,904
you get rid of 'em.
Like libraries.
75
00:02:37,905 --> 00:02:40,673
Okay, I think the fairest way to
do this is to put it to a vote.
76
00:02:40,708 --> 00:02:43,510
Everyone in favor of replacing
the couch raise your hand.
77
00:02:43,511 --> 00:02:44,878
(growls)
78
00:02:44,879 --> 00:02:46,880
Looks like
it's three to two, Bob.
79
00:02:46,881 --> 00:02:48,748
Mom's right, Louise.
The couch is family.
80
00:02:48,749 --> 00:02:50,617
You too, Gene?
Seriously?
81
00:02:50,651 --> 00:02:52,685
You're asking me
to vote against Mom?
82
00:02:52,686 --> 00:02:54,320
I know where
my butter's breaded.
83
00:02:54,321 --> 00:02:55,989
That's my boy.
84
00:02:55,990 --> 00:02:57,023
Come up on the couch with Mama.
85
00:02:57,024 --> 00:02:58,224
Come on.
No!
86
00:02:58,225 --> 00:02:59,859
I think I'm gonna
get some snacks.
87
00:02:59,860 --> 00:03:02,095
Dad, you like snacks,
right? You snack, huh?
88
00:03:02,096 --> 00:03:03,196
Uh, sure, sometimes.
89
00:03:03,197 --> 00:03:04,197
(scoffing)
90
00:03:04,231 --> 00:03:05,311
Why are you pulling me?
Ugh!
91
00:03:05,332 --> 00:03:06,566
What happened out there, Dad?
92
00:03:06,567 --> 00:03:07,834
Where-where were you?
93
00:03:07,835 --> 00:03:09,068
Louise, I tried.
94
00:03:09,069 --> 00:03:10,603
Not hard enough.
95
00:03:10,604 --> 00:03:12,605
Look, we'll get rid
of the couch someday.
96
00:03:12,606 --> 00:03:14,607
How?
Mom's never gonna give it up.
97
00:03:14,608 --> 00:03:16,876
I don't know, maybe
something will happen to it.
98
00:03:16,877 --> 00:03:18,917
Were you serious about the snacks?
'Cause I hid some
99
00:03:18,946 --> 00:03:20,914
fudge pretzels from Gene,
if you're interested.
100
00:03:20,915 --> 00:03:23,550
Back up. What-what do you mean,
something will happen to it?
101
00:03:23,551 --> 00:03:25,785
I don't know. Maybe something
will happen to the couch
102
00:03:25,786 --> 00:03:28,121
that'll make even your mom
want to get rid of it.
103
00:03:28,122 --> 00:03:29,622
Right.
104
00:03:29,623 --> 00:03:32,692
Accidents happen to
couches every day. Sure.
105
00:03:32,726 --> 00:03:34,260
I bet that's true.
Mm-hmm.
106
00:03:34,261 --> 00:03:36,863
Found 'em.
Ugh, Gene got to 'em.
107
00:03:36,864 --> 00:03:39,065
And he left a note.
"Checkmate."
108
00:03:40,601 --> 00:03:42,602
(snoring)
109
00:03:47,575 --> 00:03:49,209
Oops! What am I doing?
110
00:03:49,210 --> 00:03:50,677
(laughing):
Oops, I keep doing it.
111
00:03:50,711 --> 00:03:52,779
Stop.
(sawing continues)
112
00:03:52,780 --> 00:03:54,814
Yay, family TV night!
113
00:03:54,815 --> 00:03:56,816
Why do we call it
family TV night
114
00:03:56,817 --> 00:03:58,551
if we do it every night?
115
00:03:58,552 --> 00:04:00,253
Louise, you sure you don't
want to join your mom
116
00:04:00,254 --> 00:04:01,654
over here on the couch?
117
00:04:01,655 --> 00:04:03,089
Uh, pass.
118
00:04:03,090 --> 00:04:04,624
Fine. More couch for me.
119
00:04:04,625 --> 00:04:06,893
Gene! Tina! Where are you?
120
00:04:06,927 --> 00:04:08,628
Get in on this, babies.
121
00:04:08,662 --> 00:04:10,563
First one on the couch
gets to pick the show.
122
00:04:10,564 --> 00:04:12,265
You drive a hard bargain, woman.
123
00:04:12,266 --> 00:04:14,067
I want something
with adult situations
124
00:04:14,068 --> 00:04:15,301
but I'd settle
for mature themes.
125
00:04:15,302 --> 00:04:17,237
Sit, sit, sit, sit, sit, sit.
126
00:04:17,238 --> 00:04:18,304
Aah!
127
00:04:18,305 --> 00:04:21,107
(distorted screams)
128
00:04:21,142 --> 00:04:23,076
Oh, my God!
129
00:04:23,110 --> 00:04:24,210
Oh, my word!
130
00:04:24,245 --> 00:04:25,478
Oh, my God!
Couch?
131
00:04:25,479 --> 00:04:26,746
Couch, say something!
132
00:04:26,747 --> 00:04:28,448
Give it mouth to mouth!
133
00:04:28,449 --> 00:04:31,017
Well, I guess we're getting
a new couch after all.
134
00:04:31,018 --> 00:04:32,752
Yay!
135
00:04:32,753 --> 00:04:34,120
Anyway. Yay.
136
00:04:34,155 --> 00:04:36,016
(cries)
137
00:04:37,698 --> 00:04:40,231
The couch was too beautiful
for this world.
138
00:04:40,232 --> 00:04:41,933
I'm sorry, Lin.
What's that?
139
00:04:41,934 --> 00:04:44,302
It's instructions for whoever
wants to take it home, Bob.
140
00:04:44,337 --> 00:04:46,404
Oh. That's optimistic.
141
00:04:46,405 --> 00:04:49,140
"Good with children.
Does not fold out into a bed.
142
00:04:49,141 --> 00:04:50,775
Just folds out
because it's broken."
143
00:04:50,776 --> 00:04:52,477
Oh, my God!
What happened here?
144
00:04:52,511 --> 00:04:53,978
The couch is gone, Teddy.
145
00:04:53,979 --> 00:04:56,648
Linda, Linda, Linda.
I am so sorry.
146
00:04:56,649 --> 00:04:58,650
Oh, you know, I...
I-I just keep having
147
00:04:58,651 --> 00:05:00,452
to tell myself it's-it's life.
148
00:05:00,453 --> 00:05:02,020
It is. You know? It's natural.
149
00:05:02,021 --> 00:05:04,689
It is. I got a recliner
that's getting on in years.
150
00:05:04,690 --> 00:05:06,658
Might be time to start
making arrangements.
151
00:05:06,692 --> 00:05:08,793
Come on, people.
Are we gonna stand around all day,
152
00:05:08,794 --> 00:05:10,695
or are we gonna
go get a new couch?
153
00:05:10,696 --> 00:05:11,997
Oh, hold your horses.
154
00:05:11,998 --> 00:05:13,865
I want to be here
if anyone takes it.
155
00:05:13,866 --> 00:05:15,533
Uh, I can keep an eye on it.
156
00:05:15,534 --> 00:05:17,435
I'll be here all day.
Mr. Fischoeder hired me
157
00:05:17,436 --> 00:05:18,837
to do some repairs next door.
158
00:05:18,838 --> 00:05:20,538
The holistic healing
place that moved out
159
00:05:20,539 --> 00:05:22,207
stripped all the copper
out of the walls.
160
00:05:22,208 --> 00:05:24,376
Hmm. Still smells like
incense in there, though.
161
00:05:24,377 --> 00:05:26,711
It's gonna be my most
relaxing day of work ever.
162
00:05:26,712 --> 00:05:29,013
Anyway, I'll see
that the couch goes to a good home.
163
00:05:29,014 --> 00:05:30,348
Aw, thank you, Teddy.
164
00:05:30,349 --> 00:05:31,683
Yeah, thanks, Teddy!
Bye!
165
00:05:31,684 --> 00:05:33,718
Wait, wait, I need
to get a picture.
166
00:05:33,719 --> 00:05:35,020
And a lock of its hair.
167
00:05:35,021 --> 00:05:36,655
Ooh, it's my hair.
168
00:05:37,957 --> 00:05:39,624
Here we are.
The commercial
169
00:05:39,625 --> 00:05:42,027
doesn't do the place justice.
Actually, it does.
170
00:05:42,061 --> 00:05:45,363
(gasps) There she is. Oh.
171
00:05:45,364 --> 00:05:47,532
Welcome to the Sofa Queen
Furniture Outlet.
172
00:05:47,533 --> 00:05:49,034
What can I furnish
you with today?
173
00:05:49,035 --> 00:05:52,103
Uh, is the Sofa Queen here?
My wife is a huge fan.
174
00:05:52,138 --> 00:05:53,838
I'm afraid
she's not, at the moment.
175
00:05:53,873 --> 00:05:55,407
Great. The queen's
not even here?
176
00:05:55,408 --> 00:05:57,142
Oh, what's
the point of anything?
177
00:05:57,143 --> 00:05:59,578
Well, the queen
might not be here,
178
00:05:59,579 --> 00:06:01,479
but maybe you'd like to meet
her loyal servant
179
00:06:01,480 --> 00:06:04,049
and brother-in-law,
the Sofa Jester.
180
00:06:04,050 --> 00:06:05,517
That's me.
181
00:06:05,551 --> 00:06:06,751
(humming a tune)
182
00:06:09,555 --> 00:06:12,090
Well, this is kind of fun.
Right? Lin?
183
00:06:12,091 --> 00:06:14,559
Maybe. Say what you
say in the commercial.
184
00:06:14,594 --> 00:06:18,363
Oh, you mean: "Off Route 9
in Bog Harbor. Boi-oi-oi-oing!"
185
00:06:18,397 --> 00:06:20,732
Again.
Off Route 9 in Bog Harbor.
186
00:06:20,733 --> 00:06:22,200
Boi-oi-oi-oi-oing!
187
00:06:22,234 --> 00:06:23,368
I'm numb, say it
until I feel something.
188
00:06:23,369 --> 00:06:24,836
Lin...
189
00:06:24,870 --> 00:06:26,438
Off Route 9 in Bog Harbor.
190
00:06:26,439 --> 00:06:27,872
Boi-oi-oi-oi-oing!
191
00:06:27,907 --> 00:06:29,674
One more time.
Okay, that's okay.
192
00:06:29,675 --> 00:06:31,576
Thanks. Thanks. No, no, no.
We're done. Why? What?
193
00:06:31,577 --> 00:06:32,844
Let's go browse around.
194
00:06:32,845 --> 00:06:34,346
Oh, just browsing?
195
00:06:34,347 --> 00:06:35,614
No, no, we're gonna, I mean,
196
00:06:35,615 --> 00:06:37,055
we're definitely
gonna buy something.
197
00:06:37,083 --> 00:06:38,717
No. It's okay, you're browsing.
198
00:06:38,751 --> 00:06:41,286
Um, uh, no.
We're browsing until we buy.
199
00:06:41,287 --> 00:06:43,254
I'll believe it when I see it.
200
00:06:43,289 --> 00:06:45,390
BOB: Wow.
So many options.
201
00:06:45,391 --> 00:06:47,258
It's like a rave for furniture.
202
00:06:47,293 --> 00:06:49,094
(phone rings) Oh, it's Teddy.
203
00:06:49,095 --> 00:06:51,429
Hi, Teddy.
Hi, Lin. It's Teddy.
204
00:06:51,430 --> 00:06:53,365
Yeah. The couch, the couch!
How's the couch?
205
00:06:53,366 --> 00:06:55,133
Uh, it's okay, it's
here with me now.
206
00:06:55,134 --> 00:06:57,636
One guy showed some interest,
but he had a beard,
207
00:06:57,637 --> 00:06:59,437
so I moved him along.
Ew, a beard.
208
00:06:59,438 --> 00:07:01,740
Shoo, shoo! Some pigeons
just landed on it.
209
00:07:01,741 --> 00:07:03,742
Oh! Get 'em off.
Get 'em off it! Hey, shoo. Shoo.
210
00:07:03,743 --> 00:07:05,377
Aw, come on, get out of here.
211
00:07:05,378 --> 00:07:08,113
Get out of here! Now pigeons.
Pigeons are on it now.
212
00:07:08,114 --> 00:07:09,948
Get off the couch!
No, it was...
213
00:07:09,949 --> 00:07:11,616
(stammers) No, no, no,
I'm yelling at the pigeons.
214
00:07:11,617 --> 00:07:13,051
(stammers) You can't tell
what I'm doing here?
215
00:07:13,052 --> 00:07:14,419
I'm yelling at the pigeons.
216
00:07:14,420 --> 00:07:16,288
Officer, I'm yelling
at the pigeons.
217
00:07:16,322 --> 00:07:19,224
Geez! Mom's got to pull herself
together and move on.
218
00:07:19,225 --> 00:07:20,825
Give her some time.
She's in shock.
219
00:07:20,826 --> 00:07:23,295
What happened to the couch
was such a weird freak accident.
220
00:07:23,296 --> 00:07:25,096
(cackling)
221
00:07:25,097 --> 00:07:26,731
Why are you laughing like that?
222
00:07:26,732 --> 00:07:28,300
Weird freak accident?
223
00:07:28,334 --> 00:07:30,068
Oh, my God.
224
00:07:30,069 --> 00:07:31,603
Yeah.
You did that?
225
00:07:31,637 --> 00:07:33,305
Did I weaken the wood
under the couch
226
00:07:33,306 --> 00:07:34,806
by shaving it down with the file
227
00:07:34,807 --> 00:07:36,308
Mom uses on your toenails?
228
00:07:36,309 --> 00:07:37,909
No. Wink.
229
00:07:37,910 --> 00:07:39,144
I can't believe it.
230
00:07:39,178 --> 00:07:40,445
Well, you should, because
231
00:07:40,446 --> 00:07:41,613
it was your idea, Dad.
232
00:07:41,614 --> 00:07:43,348
What?! No, it wasn't.
233
00:07:43,349 --> 00:07:45,509
(deep voice): Maybe something
will happen to the couch.
234
00:07:45,518 --> 00:07:46,785
I get it...
You said that.
235
00:07:46,786 --> 00:07:48,086
I said... But I didn't mean...
236
00:07:48,120 --> 00:07:49,354
You ordered a hit.
237
00:07:49,355 --> 00:07:50,589
You can't unorder it.
238
00:07:50,623 --> 00:07:52,624
I did not order a hit, Louise.
239
00:07:52,625 --> 00:07:54,693
You didn't want to dirty
your pretty hands,
240
00:07:54,694 --> 00:07:57,028
but you're not gonna hang
me out to dry on this!
241
00:07:57,029 --> 00:07:58,597
Oh, God, here she comes.
242
00:07:58,631 --> 00:08:00,999
(whispering): This isn't over.
It is over,
243
00:08:01,033 --> 00:08:02,767
'cause we're getting a new couch,
'cause I did
244
00:08:02,768 --> 00:08:04,302
what you didn't have
the dumplings to do.
245
00:08:04,303 --> 00:08:05,837
Hi, Mom.
Hi, Lin.
246
00:08:05,871 --> 00:08:08,106
Teddy said somebody in shorts
tried to sit on the couch.
247
00:08:08,107 --> 00:08:09,507
He got there just in time.
248
00:08:09,508 --> 00:08:10,775
That's great.
249
00:08:10,776 --> 00:08:12,877
Well, uh, time to look around.
250
00:08:12,878 --> 00:08:14,579
Look at all the high chairs.
251
00:08:14,614 --> 00:08:16,181
That's the way to live.
Why does anyone
252
00:08:16,182 --> 00:08:17,549
use low chairs anyway?
253
00:08:17,550 --> 00:08:19,851
Yeah! All chairs
should have safety straps
254
00:08:19,852 --> 00:08:21,419
and pictures of bears on them.
255
00:08:21,454 --> 00:08:22,888
I'm gonna ask Mom and Dad
to buy one.
256
00:08:22,889 --> 00:08:24,389
I'm sure I could still fit.
257
00:08:24,390 --> 00:08:27,325
Ha! Good luck, Teenage
Mutant Teenager Legs.
258
00:08:27,326 --> 00:08:29,361
Uh, look who's talking,
Girth Brooks.
259
00:08:29,362 --> 00:08:30,862
I beg your pardon?
260
00:08:30,863 --> 00:08:32,530
I've been a size six for years.
261
00:08:32,531 --> 00:08:35,000
I bet I can still fit in
a high chair and you can't.
262
00:08:35,001 --> 00:08:36,635
What's the winner get?
263
00:08:36,669 --> 00:08:38,970
Hmm.
A week of piggyback rides?
264
00:08:38,971 --> 00:08:39,804
You're on.
265
00:08:39,805 --> 00:08:41,039
(both grunting)
266
00:08:41,040 --> 00:08:42,307
Uh, uh, uh.
Huh?
267
00:08:42,308 --> 00:08:43,842
SALESMAN: Let me guess,
high chair bet?
268
00:08:43,843 --> 00:08:45,377
Uh...
Uh...
269
00:08:45,378 --> 00:08:47,312
I've seen it before
and it doesn't end well.
270
00:08:47,313 --> 00:08:49,581
Sorry, we'll get down.
No, please.
271
00:08:49,582 --> 00:08:51,483
I support your foolhardy wager.
272
00:08:51,484 --> 00:08:53,051
We have a "you break it,
you buy it" policy
273
00:08:53,052 --> 00:08:54,319
and I work on commission.
274
00:08:54,320 --> 00:08:55,854
Wow, what a nice guy.
275
00:08:55,855 --> 00:08:58,723
So this is fun, right?
It's going pretty good.
276
00:08:58,758 --> 00:09:01,226
You think so? We've
looked at 12 couches, Louise.
277
00:09:01,260 --> 00:09:03,728
Your Mom yelled at three of them
and gave one the finger.
278
00:09:03,763 --> 00:09:06,131
Ooh, try this one, Mom.
Take it for a spin.
279
00:09:06,165 --> 00:09:07,866
I'll sit on it
because I'm tired.
280
00:09:07,900 --> 00:09:09,768
This doesn't mean
anything, Mr. Couch.
281
00:09:09,769 --> 00:09:11,069
No funny business.
282
00:09:11,103 --> 00:09:12,671
Well? How does it feel?
283
00:09:12,705 --> 00:09:15,040
Eh. Maybe this
one's not terrible.
284
00:09:15,041 --> 00:09:16,608
Come here, come-come try it. Ha!
285
00:09:18,211 --> 00:09:19,778
Yeah.
It does feel good.
286
00:09:19,779 --> 00:09:21,079
It's all right. It's okay. Hmm.
287
00:09:21,080 --> 00:09:22,547
Yeah, not bad.
288
00:09:22,582 --> 00:09:26,117
Just browsing? Okay.
There you go. Walking away.
289
00:09:26,118 --> 00:09:27,719
All right, coast is clear.
290
00:09:27,720 --> 00:09:29,888
On the count of three,
jump into your high chair.
291
00:09:29,889 --> 00:09:31,223
Is this how babies do it?
292
00:09:31,224 --> 00:09:33,491
Fun babies. One...
293
00:09:33,526 --> 00:09:34,926
This might be a bad idea.
294
00:09:34,927 --> 00:09:36,394
Two...
295
00:09:36,395 --> 00:09:38,063
I take it back,
it's a great idea!
296
00:09:38,097 --> 00:09:39,130
BOB: Gene, Tina.
297
00:09:39,131 --> 00:09:41,199
Ugh.
What does he want?
298
00:09:41,234 --> 00:09:43,101
Oh! Found one you like, huh?
299
00:09:43,102 --> 00:09:44,703
Well, you have excellent taste.
300
00:09:44,704 --> 00:09:47,138
This might be the comfiest
couch in the store.
301
00:09:47,139 --> 00:09:49,541
And I'm not just pushin'
cushions. Boi-oi-oi-oing!
302
00:09:49,542 --> 00:09:51,443
Mm. Maybe no more boings.
Sorry.
303
00:09:51,444 --> 00:09:54,045
Uh, guys,
try out this couch. Nice.
304
00:09:54,080 --> 00:09:55,447
This is some real butt candy.
305
00:09:55,448 --> 00:09:57,249
It doesn't drip
when you sit on it.
306
00:09:57,250 --> 00:09:59,451
We'll take it. No need to wrap
it up, we'll wear it home.
307
00:09:59,452 --> 00:10:00,719
Uh, how much does it cost?
308
00:10:00,720 --> 00:10:02,120
Only $1,399.99.
309
00:10:02,121 --> 00:10:03,421
Kids, get off.
Don't even look at it.
310
00:10:03,422 --> 00:10:04,923
Well, n...
Wait, wait.
311
00:10:04,924 --> 00:10:07,893
I could sell you this
floor model for $499.99.
312
00:10:07,927 --> 00:10:09,628
Wow, now that's a good deal.
313
00:10:09,629 --> 00:10:10,662
Boi-oi-oi...
314
00:10:10,663 --> 00:10:11,830
Sorry.
Thank you.
315
00:10:11,831 --> 00:10:13,431
Mm-hmm. Now there's no returns
316
00:10:13,432 --> 00:10:15,800
and I have to point out
it does have a stain on it.
317
00:10:17,470 --> 00:10:19,404
(all laugh)
318
00:10:19,405 --> 00:10:21,239
We'll teach it what stains are.
319
00:10:21,274 --> 00:10:22,407
So you'll take it?
320
00:10:22,441 --> 00:10:23,975
Mom, are you okay with this?
321
00:10:23,976 --> 00:10:26,912
Sure. Sure, let's do it.
Let's do it.
322
00:10:26,946 --> 00:10:28,580
Terrific! I'll get
the paperwork.
323
00:10:28,581 --> 00:10:30,515
And I'm supposed to do
my little jester dance
324
00:10:30,516 --> 00:10:31,917
when I make a sale.
325
00:10:31,918 --> 00:10:33,318
Uh, we're good. You sure?
326
00:10:33,319 --> 00:10:34,686
It's quite playful.
327
00:10:34,687 --> 00:10:36,655
Fine. Just go ahead,
yeah, yeah, do it.
328
00:10:36,656 --> 00:10:38,456
♪ Yuh, gah-gah gah-gah, goy ♪
329
00:10:38,457 --> 00:10:39,825
♪ Yuh, mm, hey, ma-mommy ♪
330
00:10:39,826 --> 00:10:41,593
♪ Uh-ma, may, Na, byoya, oh! ♪
331
00:10:41,594 --> 00:10:43,461
Linda, this is gonna be good,
right?
332
00:10:43,462 --> 00:10:45,030
Yeah, you're right.
333
00:10:45,031 --> 00:10:47,365
Maybe this was for the best,
you know? Who knows?
334
00:10:47,366 --> 00:10:49,868
See, Dad? It worked.
What?
335
00:10:49,869 --> 00:10:51,803
Hmm? What did yo...? Wait.
What did you say?
336
00:10:51,837 --> 00:10:54,139
I don't know. What-what did
you... what did you say?
337
00:10:54,140 --> 00:10:55,473
The... Wh-What?
338
00:10:55,508 --> 00:10:58,176
You said, "It worked."
What... worked?
339
00:10:58,177 --> 00:10:59,611
What worked?! All right, fine!
340
00:10:59,612 --> 00:11:01,012
We put the couch
out of its misery!
341
00:11:01,013 --> 00:11:02,447
It was dying anyway.
342
00:11:02,448 --> 00:11:03,782
What?! What?! Oh, God.
343
00:11:03,783 --> 00:11:06,117
But look at this!
Pretty new couch, right?
344
00:11:06,118 --> 00:11:07,752
It's so pretty.
345
00:11:07,787 --> 00:11:09,688
Who's "we?" Bob?
Mm. What?
346
00:11:09,722 --> 00:11:12,123
"We put the couch out
of its misery." Who's we?
347
00:11:12,158 --> 00:11:13,658
Wha-What?
I... I'm sorry. I... What?
348
00:11:13,693 --> 00:11:15,994
Were you a part of this?
I would like to say,
349
00:11:15,995 --> 00:11:17,796
I was just getting
fudge pretzels, and...
350
00:11:17,830 --> 00:11:19,231
Checkmate!
I know, Gene.
351
00:11:19,232 --> 00:11:21,666
And I did not mean
in any way to cause...
352
00:11:21,701 --> 00:11:24,402
Monsters!
Monsters!
353
00:11:24,403 --> 00:11:25,670
Linda! Wait!
354
00:11:25,671 --> 00:11:28,373
(Linda mutters, cries, wails)
355
00:11:28,374 --> 00:11:31,042
Okay. Perhaps I can throw in
some pillows and blankets,
356
00:11:31,043 --> 00:11:33,812
'cause it looks like you're
gonna be sleeping on this couch.
357
00:11:33,813 --> 00:11:37,039
Ha! Jesters.
Always gotta be on.
358
00:11:38,612 --> 00:11:41,214
(panting): Linda! Wait!
359
00:11:41,215 --> 00:11:43,149
You and Louise
killed the couch, Bob!
360
00:11:43,150 --> 00:11:44,817
You Kevorkianed it!
361
00:11:44,818 --> 00:11:46,486
Lin? Lin?
362
00:11:46,487 --> 00:11:48,554
Look, I'm not good
at running around things,
363
00:11:48,589 --> 00:11:50,490
so just stop, so we can talk.
364
00:11:50,524 --> 00:11:52,225
Why'd you do it, Louise?
365
00:11:52,226 --> 00:11:54,894
You played God,
and our couch wasn't even religious!
366
00:11:54,895 --> 00:11:57,263
Oh, don't you two couch-huggers
start with me!
367
00:11:57,264 --> 00:11:58,263
Huh.
368
00:11:58,265 --> 00:11:59,866
That lady looks familiar.
369
00:11:59,867 --> 00:12:01,801
GENE (gasping):
It's the Sofa Queen!
370
00:12:01,835 --> 00:12:03,569
The leader
of the Ottoman Empire.
371
00:12:03,570 --> 00:12:07,373
Excuse me. I got to see a sofa
queen about a drama queen.
372
00:12:07,408 --> 00:12:08,408
(knocking on door)
373
00:12:08,409 --> 00:12:09,409
Who is it?
374
00:12:09,410 --> 00:12:11,844
Uh, your Royal Highness?
375
00:12:11,879 --> 00:12:14,380
(fanfare plays)
376
00:12:14,415 --> 00:12:16,983
Oh, my God, it's the Sofa Queen.
377
00:12:17,017 --> 00:12:18,751
Curtsy time!
Oh, right.
378
00:12:18,786 --> 00:12:20,753
(Gene and Tina groaning)
379
00:12:20,754 --> 00:12:22,422
Is that your wife?
380
00:12:22,456 --> 00:12:26,259
(sobbing)
381
00:12:26,293 --> 00:12:27,727
What'd you do to her?
382
00:12:27,728 --> 00:12:29,362
It's... uh, it's a long story.
383
00:12:29,363 --> 00:12:31,698
I thought we were getting
a snack, and then, I...
384
00:12:31,699 --> 00:12:34,434
Okay, okay, okay. Let the woman
with the crown talk her down.
385
00:12:34,435 --> 00:12:36,035
She's really good at this.
386
00:12:36,036 --> 00:12:37,870
She talked me into
marrying her sister.
387
00:12:37,871 --> 00:12:39,772
That's why she's the queen
and you're not.
388
00:12:39,773 --> 00:12:41,241
I know, I know.
389
00:12:41,242 --> 00:12:43,009
You could never be queen.
I know!
390
00:12:43,043 --> 00:12:46,045
(gasping, jabbering, wailing)
391
00:12:46,046 --> 00:12:47,614
(sniffling)
392
00:12:47,615 --> 00:12:50,149
Please don't blow your nose
on my display furniture.
393
00:12:50,150 --> 00:12:51,884
(gasps) It's you.
394
00:12:51,919 --> 00:12:53,620
Your Majesty, it's really you!
395
00:12:53,621 --> 00:12:55,088
And it's really you,
396
00:12:55,122 --> 00:12:57,257
lady crying
in the middle of a store.
397
00:12:57,258 --> 00:12:59,626
Come on, make some room. (cries)
398
00:12:59,627 --> 00:13:02,095
Oh, I don't like this.
We sell this?
399
00:13:02,096 --> 00:13:03,596
Did you bring this?
400
00:13:03,597 --> 00:13:05,198
I don't think so.
401
00:13:05,232 --> 00:13:06,766
Not much we can do here.
402
00:13:06,767 --> 00:13:08,234
Yeah, Sofa Queen's got this.
403
00:13:08,235 --> 00:13:10,470
To the high chairs?
To the high chairs.
404
00:13:10,504 --> 00:13:12,272
(whispering):
To the high chairs!
405
00:13:12,306 --> 00:13:14,440
They did what?!
I know, right?
406
00:13:14,441 --> 00:13:16,643
You don't do that to
a woman's couch!
407
00:13:16,644 --> 00:13:18,444
The couch I raised my babies on!
408
00:13:18,445 --> 00:13:19,879
Horrible! Hey, Bob!
409
00:13:19,914 --> 00:13:20,947
Oh, no.
410
00:13:20,948 --> 00:13:22,315
Uh, yes, Your Majesty?
411
00:13:22,349 --> 00:13:23,416
What's wrong with you?
412
00:13:23,450 --> 00:13:24,651
I didn't, um...
413
00:13:24,652 --> 00:13:25,919
I wasn't thinking.
414
00:13:25,920 --> 00:13:27,253
It's complicated 'cause I...
415
00:13:27,288 --> 00:13:28,922
Don't touch that!
Sorry.
416
00:13:28,923 --> 00:13:30,290
I got to say,
417
00:13:30,291 --> 00:13:31,691
that sounds like
a special couch.
418
00:13:31,692 --> 00:13:33,126
You got any pictures?
419
00:13:33,127 --> 00:13:34,460
Yeah, I took one
this morning... here.
420
00:13:34,461 --> 00:13:35,662
Look, there you go. Mm.
421
00:13:35,663 --> 00:13:38,364
Oh, that's, uh...
Yeah.
422
00:13:38,365 --> 00:13:40,099
Uh... Hmm.
423
00:13:40,100 --> 00:13:41,501
Good couch, right?
424
00:13:41,502 --> 00:13:43,036
It's got character.
425
00:13:43,037 --> 00:13:45,438
Yeah, it's got character
splattered all over it.
426
00:13:45,439 --> 00:13:48,942
Linda, that's what we call
in the industry a nasty couch.
427
00:13:48,943 --> 00:13:51,611
Oh. Right. I gue...
I gue... I guess it's bad.
428
00:13:51,612 --> 00:13:53,012
I guess it's bad.
(chuckles)
429
00:13:53,013 --> 00:13:54,347
Okay, it's bad.
430
00:13:54,381 --> 00:13:56,115
Linda, you're gonna think
431
00:13:56,116 --> 00:13:58,451
I'm only trying to sell you
a new couch, and I am.
432
00:13:58,452 --> 00:13:59,853
I'm the Sofa Queen.
433
00:13:59,854 --> 00:14:01,588
But I think you know
what you gotta do.
434
00:14:01,622 --> 00:14:03,056
What?
You know.
435
00:14:03,057 --> 00:14:04,457
I do?
Yes.
436
00:14:04,458 --> 00:14:05,892
New couch?
New couch.
437
00:14:05,893 --> 00:14:07,861
I love you.
I know.
438
00:14:07,862 --> 00:14:09,829
Give me huggies!
Too much.
439
00:14:09,830 --> 00:14:11,498
Oh, I'm sorry.
I'm sorry. Sorry.
440
00:14:11,499 --> 00:14:13,666
Don't touch the queen.
Sor-Sorry. Sorry.
441
00:14:13,701 --> 00:14:15,869
So it's really happening...
we're getting a new couch.
442
00:14:15,870 --> 00:14:18,037
It is, and you are welcome.
443
00:14:18,038 --> 00:14:19,906
We're actually
replacing Old Stinko.
444
00:14:19,907 --> 00:14:21,374
Yup.
445
00:14:21,375 --> 00:14:22,809
John Stain-mos.
446
00:14:22,810 --> 00:14:23,843
Mm-hmm.
447
00:14:23,844 --> 00:14:25,879
Old... Fartcatcher.
448
00:14:25,880 --> 00:14:27,313
Okay, Dad, take it easy.
449
00:14:27,314 --> 00:14:28,715
Back off a little.
450
00:14:28,716 --> 00:14:30,183
Sorry, I-I got on a roll there.
451
00:14:30,217 --> 00:14:31,651
(both yelling)
452
00:14:31,652 --> 00:14:33,052
Get it off!
Get it off!
453
00:14:33,053 --> 00:14:35,688
Why did we do this?!
It pinches! It pinches!
454
00:14:35,689 --> 00:14:37,724
This can't be safe for babies!
(groaning)
455
00:14:37,725 --> 00:14:39,192
(Tina and Gene groaning) Aah!
456
00:14:39,193 --> 00:14:40,727
Why am I doing this?!
457
00:14:40,728 --> 00:14:42,762
I knew I wouldn't fit.
What came over me?!
458
00:14:42,763 --> 00:14:45,131
It's intoxicating!
Aah!
459
00:14:45,166 --> 00:14:46,900
LINDA:
Come on, everybody eat faster
460
00:14:46,934 --> 00:14:48,668
so we can start TV night
on the new couch!
461
00:14:48,669 --> 00:14:50,270
Where are the napkins?
462
00:14:50,271 --> 00:14:51,571
Do you mean the paper
towel roll?
463
00:14:51,572 --> 00:14:52,839
Yeah.
464
00:14:52,840 --> 00:14:54,074
This guy hangs out with a queen.
465
00:14:54,075 --> 00:14:55,942
Now he's using napkins.
466
00:14:55,943 --> 00:14:58,578
(sighs) Someone kicked
the paper towel roll down the hall.
467
00:14:58,579 --> 00:15:00,747
Again. Louise, did you do that?
468
00:15:00,748 --> 00:15:02,715
Kick the paper towel roll?
Of course.
469
00:15:02,716 --> 00:15:04,384
It's a paper towel roll.
470
00:15:04,385 --> 00:15:06,286
Right. Well, would
you get it, please?
471
00:15:06,287 --> 00:15:07,687
Ugh! Fine!
472
00:15:10,758 --> 00:15:12,826
Oh. Huh.
473
00:15:12,860 --> 00:15:15,228
Hi. Well, this is awkward.
474
00:15:15,262 --> 00:15:18,231
Just... not gonna
look out there again.
475
00:15:18,232 --> 00:15:19,799
Oh, God, I looked.
476
00:15:19,800 --> 00:15:21,401
I see you, okay?!
477
00:15:21,435 --> 00:15:23,069
I know
what you're trying to pull,
478
00:15:23,070 --> 00:15:24,437
looking all pathetic
on the curb.
479
00:15:24,472 --> 00:15:25,972
But it's not gonna work.
480
00:15:25,973 --> 00:15:27,574
I'll just close my eyes.
481
00:15:27,608 --> 00:15:28,875
(laughs)
482
00:15:28,909 --> 00:15:30,543
Okay, shouldn't have
closed my eyes.
483
00:15:30,544 --> 00:15:32,212
Louise,
I need a paper towel, please.
484
00:15:32,213 --> 00:15:34,214
Gene motorboated
his pasta again.
485
00:15:34,215 --> 00:15:36,249
Oh.
Mm-hmm. Old couch.
486
00:15:36,250 --> 00:15:38,766
Yup. It's gonna be fine, right?
487
00:15:38,786 --> 00:15:40,386
Are you kidding?
It's gonna be great!
488
00:15:40,421 --> 00:15:42,822
It's got a rich, full
life ahead of it.
489
00:15:42,823 --> 00:15:44,290
Ooh!
Ooh!
490
00:15:44,325 --> 00:15:45,759
It-It's gonna shake that off.
491
00:15:45,760 --> 00:15:46,993
Yeah, that wasn't... that sad.
492
00:15:46,994 --> 00:15:48,061
No.
493
00:15:48,095 --> 00:15:49,129
There you are!
494
00:15:49,130 --> 00:15:50,563
You missed the part of dinner
495
00:15:50,564 --> 00:15:51,965
where we all put our plates
in the sink
496
00:15:51,966 --> 00:15:53,600
and pretend
somebody's gonna do the dishes.
497
00:15:53,601 --> 00:15:55,201
All right, new couch, here we come!
So this is
498
00:15:55,236 --> 00:15:56,970
what it feels like
to sit upright.
499
00:15:56,971 --> 00:15:58,405
It's nice.
The room looks different.
500
00:15:58,439 --> 00:15:59,973
Oh, here comes another car.
501
00:15:59,974 --> 00:16:01,608
Is it gonna...? Oh, God.
(water splashing)
502
00:16:01,609 --> 00:16:03,176
It hit the puddle.
503
00:16:03,177 --> 00:16:04,611
Looked like he went out
of his way to hit it.
504
00:16:04,612 --> 00:16:06,079
What am I being so sappy about?
505
00:16:06,080 --> 00:16:07,580
Sure I liked making couch forts,
506
00:16:07,581 --> 00:16:09,182
but I can make forts
with the new couch.
507
00:16:09,183 --> 00:16:10,950
Uh, actually, the cushions
don't come off.
508
00:16:10,951 --> 00:16:13,353
Oh. Okay,
but the old couch is scruffy.
509
00:16:13,354 --> 00:16:14,988
I mean... (scoffs)
510
00:16:14,989 --> 00:16:17,090
we don't keep scruffy things
in this house, right?
511
00:16:17,091 --> 00:16:19,092
Are you serious?
Oh, right.
512
00:16:19,093 --> 00:16:21,027
Yeah.
It's like Scruff City.
513
00:16:24,732 --> 00:16:25,965
Son of a bitch.
514
00:16:25,966 --> 00:16:27,267
We gotta go get it.
515
00:16:27,301 --> 00:16:28,501
Hmm. Sounds like you just said,
516
00:16:28,502 --> 00:16:29,636
"We've gotta go get it."
517
00:16:29,637 --> 00:16:31,071
Like, right now.
518
00:16:31,105 --> 00:16:32,639
What are you guys
talkin' about over there?
519
00:16:32,640 --> 00:16:34,107
We gotta get the old couch back.
520
00:16:34,141 --> 00:16:35,308
Oh, thank God.
521
00:16:35,309 --> 00:16:36,976
I don't know
who I am on this couch.
522
00:16:36,977 --> 00:16:39,312
Yeah! I don't like
who I am on this couch.
523
00:16:39,313 --> 00:16:41,114
What?! Oh, no, no, no!
524
00:16:41,115 --> 00:16:44,017
I wanted to keep the old couch,
but you told me I was nuts!
525
00:16:44,018 --> 00:16:46,653
So we went through all this,
and now you think it isn't nuts?
526
00:16:46,687 --> 00:16:48,354
It is pretty nuts, you guys.
527
00:16:48,355 --> 00:16:50,957
I know, okay?
It's just, how can you not look
528
00:16:50,958 --> 00:16:53,993
at that stinky old couch out
there and not want it inside?
529
00:16:54,028 --> 00:16:56,229
It's... it's one of us.
530
00:16:56,263 --> 00:16:58,465
Yeah! Old couch came out of Mom!
531
00:16:58,466 --> 00:17:01,000
So, you do like the old couch?
532
00:17:01,035 --> 00:17:02,802
No! It's a gross,
533
00:17:02,837 --> 00:17:05,839
lumpy, dumpy
monster, and... aah!
534
00:17:05,840 --> 00:17:07,607
Let's just go get it, okay?
535
00:17:07,641 --> 00:17:09,042
Uh... all right.
536
00:17:09,043 --> 00:17:10,410
Let's go!
Let's do it!
537
00:17:11,512 --> 00:17:12,651
Oh, my God, it's gone!
538
00:17:13,814 --> 00:17:15,214
LINDA, GENE, TINA and LOUISE:
What?!
539
00:17:16,917 --> 00:17:19,219
Good news! Someone
picked up the couch!
540
00:17:19,253 --> 00:17:21,654
No! No! No!
541
00:17:21,689 --> 00:17:25,039
You guys react weird to good news.
GENE: Yes!
542
00:17:25,634 --> 00:17:29,021
Where the freak is our couch?!
It was here just a second ago.
543
00:17:29,022 --> 00:17:31,414
Yeah, these guys came and got it.
I would've told you,
544
00:17:31,448 --> 00:17:33,883
but I didn't want to interrupt
your time with the new couch.
545
00:17:33,884 --> 00:17:35,685
Those first moments
of bonding are so important.
546
00:17:35,719 --> 00:17:37,153
Who was it?
Some teenage boys.
547
00:17:37,154 --> 00:17:38,387
They were in a band.
548
00:17:38,388 --> 00:17:39,855
Exchange me for the couch.
549
00:17:39,856 --> 00:17:40,856
I'm willing to make
that sacrifice.
550
00:17:40,857 --> 00:17:42,725
No, Tina.
A band?!
551
00:17:42,726 --> 00:17:44,160
Why did they want our couch?
552
00:17:44,161 --> 00:17:45,628
Probably to sit on.
Lazy band.
553
00:17:45,629 --> 00:17:47,096
They invited me to their show.
554
00:17:47,130 --> 00:17:48,631
It's next Friday
at the Ear Drum.
555
00:17:48,632 --> 00:17:50,666
I haven't been
to a rock show in a while.
556
00:17:50,667 --> 00:17:52,535
What do I wear? Are sleeveless
shirts still cool?
557
00:17:52,536 --> 00:17:54,136
We've got to go to the Ear Drum
558
00:17:54,137 --> 00:17:55,838
and see if anyone knows
how to find these guys.
559
00:17:55,839 --> 00:17:58,174
Yeah. Or we could
just go back upstairs
560
00:17:58,175 --> 00:17:59,876
and think about all the good
times we had with the...
561
00:17:59,877 --> 00:18:01,510
Come on, we're going!
Let's go! Mm-hmm.
562
00:18:01,511 --> 00:18:03,879
Yeah, scope it out.
Pay attention to the shirts.
563
00:18:03,880 --> 00:18:06,349
Sleeves? No sleeves?
Let me know!
564
00:18:07,684 --> 00:18:08,918
It's four teenage boys.
565
00:18:08,919 --> 00:18:10,152
They're playing here
next Friday.
566
00:18:10,153 --> 00:18:11,520
Oh, I know those guys.
567
00:18:11,555 --> 00:18:13,222
Yeah, w-what do they call
themselves now?
568
00:18:13,223 --> 00:18:14,690
They're-they're always
changing their name.
569
00:18:14,691 --> 00:18:16,392
Uh, used to be
the Melon Smashers.
570
00:18:16,393 --> 00:18:17,760
Then they were
the Vase Breakers.
571
00:18:17,761 --> 00:18:19,362
Now they're called, um...
572
00:18:19,363 --> 00:18:20,796
oh, yeah, yeah,
the Couch Burners.
573
00:18:20,831 --> 00:18:22,231
Aah! Aah! Aah!
574
00:18:22,232 --> 00:18:24,033
Oh, God.
The Couch Burners?
575
00:18:24,034 --> 00:18:26,736
Those idiots are gonna burn
our couch and put it on their flyer!
576
00:18:26,770 --> 00:18:28,437
Oh, they got your couch, huh?
577
00:18:28,438 --> 00:18:30,072
Well, why'd you give
your couch to the Couch Burners?
578
00:18:30,107 --> 00:18:31,674
Look: on both flyers,
579
00:18:31,675 --> 00:18:33,342
they're standing
on the railroad tracks.
580
00:18:33,343 --> 00:18:34,911
BOB: Hey, that's
the old train depot.
581
00:18:34,945 --> 00:18:36,546
You're an old train depot!
582
00:18:36,547 --> 00:18:38,848
Come on, people.
We got a couch to save.
583
00:18:38,849 --> 00:18:40,516
(lighter clicks open)
584
00:18:40,517 --> 00:18:42,051
After we get the shot
we're gonna use,
585
00:18:42,052 --> 00:18:43,619
we should get one silly one,
just for sillies.
586
00:18:43,620 --> 00:18:45,021
Oh, sure, yeah.
587
00:18:45,055 --> 00:18:46,322
There they are!
588
00:18:46,356 --> 00:18:47,723
Bunch of sick sofa psychos!
589
00:18:47,724 --> 00:18:49,125
And there's the couch!
590
00:18:49,126 --> 00:18:50,860
Get 'em, Dad!
Run, Bobby!
591
00:18:50,861 --> 00:18:53,029
Why do I have to...?
Oh, fine.
592
00:18:53,063 --> 00:18:55,464
(wheezing)
593
00:18:56,700 --> 00:18:58,634
Excuse me! Hey!
594
00:18:58,635 --> 00:19:00,403
Dude, are you okay?
595
00:19:00,404 --> 00:19:01,871
Yeah, I'm fine, I just...
596
00:19:01,905 --> 00:19:04,206
Uh, are you the, uh,
Couch Burners?
597
00:19:04,241 --> 00:19:05,942
Oh, my God,
have you heard of us?
598
00:19:05,976 --> 00:19:08,711
Uh, I'm really sorry to do this,
but we need that couch back.
599
00:19:08,712 --> 00:19:10,613
It's ours, and you're
not gonna burn it!
600
00:19:10,647 --> 00:19:12,582
We found this thing
on the street.
601
00:19:12,583 --> 00:19:14,817
Finders, keepers.
Keepers, burners.
602
00:19:14,818 --> 00:19:17,053
It's gonna be immortalized
on our new flyer, so...
603
00:19:17,054 --> 00:19:18,688
you're welcome.
Ha.
604
00:19:18,722 --> 00:19:21,090
Listen, the couch has been
in the family a long time.
605
00:19:21,091 --> 00:19:22,491
Please give it back to us.
606
00:19:22,492 --> 00:19:24,093
Sir, I get it.
You love the couch.
607
00:19:24,094 --> 00:19:26,095
Yes, we do.
608
00:19:26,096 --> 00:19:28,497
But if you love something,
set it on fire.
609
00:19:28,498 --> 00:19:30,099
Those are good lyrics, man.
610
00:19:30,100 --> 00:19:31,567
I know, right?
611
00:19:31,602 --> 00:19:33,235
Whoa, whoa, whoa,
whoa, whoa, whoa! No!
612
00:19:33,236 --> 00:19:35,605
Whoa, whoa, whoa,
whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Whoa!
613
00:19:35,606 --> 00:19:37,740
What if we could get you
a different couch to burn, huh?
614
00:19:37,741 --> 00:19:39,508
Yeah, yeah!
A buh-buh better couch!
615
00:19:39,509 --> 00:19:43,112
Linda, you're not talking
about the new couch? Why not?
616
00:19:43,113 --> 00:19:44,513
Yeah, Dad, why not?
617
00:19:44,514 --> 00:19:46,249
'Cause it cost $499.99.
618
00:19:46,283 --> 00:19:47,917
It's a floor model.
We can't return it!
619
00:19:47,918 --> 00:19:49,819
Yeah, Bob. What did you think
we were gonna do with it
620
00:19:49,820 --> 00:19:51,687
when we took the old one back?
621
00:19:51,688 --> 00:19:54,423
I was imagining we'd prop
one couch up on the other one,
622
00:19:54,424 --> 00:19:56,292
so it looked
like they were making love.
623
00:19:56,293 --> 00:19:57,727
Aw.
Mmm!
624
00:19:57,761 --> 00:19:59,662
Well, we could sell it.
625
00:19:59,663 --> 00:20:02,031
Damn it, Dad! Do you want
the old couch back or don't you?!
626
00:20:02,032 --> 00:20:03,466
(sighs) Okay, fine.
627
00:20:03,500 --> 00:20:05,468
Wait, hold on, hold on,
hold on, hold on a second.
628
00:20:05,469 --> 00:20:07,169
We don't know anything
about this new couch.
629
00:20:07,170 --> 00:20:08,938
Yeah!
What's going on there?
630
00:20:08,972 --> 00:20:10,439
Well, what do you need to know?
631
00:20:10,474 --> 00:20:12,742
Well, like, can you burn it?
632
00:20:12,776 --> 00:20:14,810
Um, yeah, you can.
633
00:20:14,845 --> 00:20:16,679
Okay, we'll take it!
634
00:20:16,680 --> 00:20:17,813
(flames crackling,
camera shutter clicks)
635
00:20:17,814 --> 00:20:18,814
All right, guys, one more.
636
00:20:18,815 --> 00:20:19,815
(camera shutter clicks)
637
00:20:19,816 --> 00:20:20,816
No, you had your eyes closed
638
00:20:20,817 --> 00:20:22,518
again, so... one more.
639
00:20:22,553 --> 00:20:25,521
Here we go. All right,
eyes are still closed, so...
640
00:20:25,555 --> 00:20:27,189
I... Still? Yeah, just open them.
You had them closed.
641
00:20:27,190 --> 00:20:28,858
I so feel like my eyes are open.
642
00:20:28,859 --> 00:20:30,693
Open your eyes and let me take this.
All right.
643
00:20:30,694 --> 00:20:32,795
(camera shutter clicks)
All of you, closed.
644
00:20:32,796 --> 00:20:35,031
Okay, we both... Guys, we got to
take it while it's still burning.
645
00:20:35,065 --> 00:20:37,533
If you put one foot in front of
the other, you'll look thinner.
646
00:20:37,534 --> 00:20:39,869
Yeah, that's perfect.
647
00:20:39,903 --> 00:20:42,505
BOB: Ugh. We got the couch back,
Mom. We did it.
648
00:20:42,506 --> 00:20:45,141
Yup. Who knows
a good upholsterer? Anyone?
649
00:20:45,142 --> 00:20:46,709
I do know a good upholsterer.
650
00:20:46,710 --> 00:20:48,477
He's on Cape Cod!
651
00:20:48,478 --> 00:20:50,480
Quick fort while we're waiting
for new couch to burn?
652
00:20:50,481 --> 00:20:53,549
Sure! Dibs on the spot
that smells like guacamole!
653
00:20:53,550 --> 00:20:55,017
SINGER (speaking):
♪ If you love something ♪
654
00:20:55,018 --> 00:20:58,321
♪ Set it on fire ♪
655
00:20:58,322 --> 00:21:00,923
♪ Like a couch ♪
656
00:21:00,924 --> 00:21:02,391
♪ Or your shoes ♪
657
00:21:02,392 --> 00:21:04,327
LINDA: Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa!
658
00:21:04,328 --> 00:21:06,329
BAND (singing):
♪ If you love something ♪
659
00:21:06,330 --> 00:21:09,165
♪ Set it on fire ♪
660
00:21:09,166 --> 00:21:11,033
♪ If you love something ♪
661
00:21:11,034 --> 00:21:14,537
♪ Set it on fire ♪
662
00:21:14,538 --> 00:21:16,939
SINGER (speaking):
♪ If you love something ♪
663
00:21:16,940 --> 00:21:19,041
♪ Set it on fire ♪
664
00:21:19,042 --> 00:21:21,844
BAND (singing):
♪ But safety first! ♪
665
00:21:21,845 --> 00:21:23,546
♪ Safety first! ♪
666
00:21:23,547 --> 00:21:28,347
Sync & corrections by Rafael UPD
www.addic7ed.com/
45002
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