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1
00:00:12,199 --> 00:00:13,492
♪ I'm going down
to South Park ♪
2
00:00:13,534 --> 00:00:15,077
♪ Gonna have myself
a time ♪
3
00:00:15,202 --> 00:00:16,871
♪ Friendly faces
everywhere ♪
4
00:00:16,996 --> 00:00:18,706
♪ Humble folks
without temptation ♪
5
00:00:18,831 --> 00:00:20,082
♪ I'm going down
to South Park ♪
6
00:00:20,207 --> 00:00:21,834
♪ Gonna leave
my woes behind ♪
7
00:00:21,959 --> 00:00:23,586
♪ Ample parking
day or night ♪
8
00:00:23,711 --> 00:00:25,588
♪ People spouting
"howdy neighbor" ♪
9
00:00:25,713 --> 00:00:26,857
♪ Headin' on up
to South Park ♪
10
00:00:26,881 --> 00:00:29,008
♪ Gonna see
if I can't unwind ♪
11
00:00:29,133 --> 00:00:32,261
♪ [muffled] ♪
12
00:00:32,386 --> 00:00:33,666
♪ So come on down
to South Park ♪
13
00:00:33,763 --> 00:00:35,681
♪ And meet
some friends of mine ♪
14
00:00:42,143 --> 00:00:44,143
Alright, Miss Sanders,
all ready for your abortion?
15
00:00:44,187 --> 00:00:46,064
[audience laughter]
16
00:00:46,189 --> 00:00:49,526
Ready as I'm ever
going to be, I guess.
17
00:00:49,651 --> 00:00:51,337
Well, try to relax.
It will all be over very soon.
18
00:00:51,361 --> 00:00:53,905
[laughter]
19
00:00:54,030 --> 00:00:56,241
Doctor, can we turn off
that television?
20
00:00:56,366 --> 00:00:58,243
Oh, yes, I'm sorry.
21
00:01:00,412 --> 00:01:01,579
Now,
there is one more thing.
22
00:01:01,705 --> 00:01:02,789
What?
23
00:01:02,914 --> 00:01:05,041
Have you heard
of stem cell research?
24
00:01:05,166 --> 00:01:07,627
I've heard of it on the news,
but I don't know what it is.
25
00:01:07,752 --> 00:01:09,689
Well, basically a lot of
amazing studies have shown
26
00:01:09,713 --> 00:01:11,440
that stem cells
might be used to fight cancer
27
00:01:11,464 --> 00:01:12,664
and a myriad
of other diseases.
28
00:01:12,716 --> 00:01:13,925
Right now,
a lot of stem cells
29
00:01:14,050 --> 00:01:16,094
come from the tissue
of aborted fetuses--
30
00:01:16,219 --> 00:01:18,346
I'm sorry,
unwanted children.
31
00:01:18,471 --> 00:01:20,765
And if you sign a release,
that tissue can go to study.
32
00:01:20,890 --> 00:01:23,476
Oh, well, I suppose
if it can help others.
33
00:01:23,601 --> 00:01:24,921
The hope is that
someday it might.
34
00:01:24,978 --> 00:01:26,771
Okay.
35
00:01:26,896 --> 00:01:28,982
Great.
36
00:01:29,107 --> 00:01:29,816
Well, here we go.
37
00:01:29,941 --> 00:01:32,902
[vacuuming]
38
00:01:44,497 --> 00:01:45,999
Nurse.
39
00:01:46,124 --> 00:01:48,334
This is to go to Alder's Labs
for stem cell research.
40
00:01:48,460 --> 00:01:52,338
Yes, Doctor.
41
00:01:53,673 --> 00:01:56,134
♪ On the road again ♪
42
00:01:56,259 --> 00:02:00,764
♪ Just can't wait to get
on the road again ♪
43
00:02:00,889 --> 00:02:04,768
♪ The life I love is making
music with my friends ♪
44
00:02:04,893 --> 00:02:08,354
♪ And I can't wait to get
on the road again ♪
45
00:02:08,480 --> 00:02:11,816
♪ On the road again ♪
46
00:02:11,941 --> 00:02:15,653
♪ Going places
that I've never been ♪
47
00:02:15,779 --> 00:02:19,074
♪ Seeing things
that I may never see again... ♪
48
00:02:19,199 --> 00:02:21,242
Jesus Christ!
49
00:02:25,121 --> 00:02:26,873
♪ On the road again ♪
50
00:02:26,998 --> 00:02:30,960
♪ Like a band of gypsies
we go down the highway ♪
51
00:02:31,086 --> 00:02:34,214
♪ My baby takes
the morning train ♪
52
00:02:34,339 --> 00:02:37,467
[humming]
53
00:02:37,592 --> 00:02:38,635
Hmm.
54
00:02:38,760 --> 00:02:40,095
♪ On the road again... ♪
55
00:02:40,220 --> 00:02:42,972
What do we have here?
56
00:02:44,724 --> 00:02:45,934
Well,
that burned a long time.
57
00:02:46,059 --> 00:02:47,435
Yeah,
that was pretty good.
58
00:02:47,560 --> 00:02:49,687
Oh, dude,
there goes one.
59
00:02:49,813 --> 00:02:51,189
Okay, go.
60
00:02:51,314 --> 00:02:52,398
Both: Alright!
61
00:02:52,524 --> 00:02:53,817
[coughing]
62
00:02:53,942 --> 00:02:55,711
You've had that cough a while,
Kenny; you okay?
63
00:02:55,735 --> 00:02:56,903
[muffled]
64
00:02:57,028 --> 00:02:58,028
Hey, fellas.
Hey, fellas.
65
00:02:58,113 --> 00:02:59,739
What, Butters?
66
00:02:59,864 --> 00:03:01,592
Eric says you got to come
to his house right away.
67
00:03:01,616 --> 00:03:02,742
Tell him we're busy.
68
00:03:02,867 --> 00:03:04,494
Oh, well,
he knew you'd say that,
69
00:03:04,619 --> 00:03:06,639
so he told me to tell you that
you don't wanna miss this.
70
00:03:06,663 --> 00:03:08,706
What,
did he lose 100 pounds?
71
00:03:08,832 --> 00:03:10,309
Yeah, yeah,
he knew you'd say that too,
72
00:03:10,333 --> 00:03:14,420
So he said to say,
"up your ass, Jew."
73
00:03:14,546 --> 00:03:15,839
Yeah.
74
00:03:15,964 --> 00:03:19,592
Alright,
let's go see what he wants.
75
00:03:19,717 --> 00:03:22,053
Oh, it's all sticky.
76
00:03:24,139 --> 00:03:25,598
Alright, Cartman,
what's so important
77
00:03:25,723 --> 00:03:27,409
you had to pull us away from
lighting cow crap on fire?
78
00:03:27,433 --> 00:03:28,893
You're not gonna believe it.
- What?
79
00:03:29,018 --> 00:03:31,437
Guess what I have
sitting in my backyard.
80
00:03:31,563 --> 00:03:32,564
A trampoline?
81
00:03:32,689 --> 00:03:34,149
Better.
- A boat?
82
00:03:34,274 --> 00:03:35,316
Better.
83
00:03:35,441 --> 00:03:36,568
A [muffled] machine?
84
00:03:36,693 --> 00:03:37,819
Better.
85
00:03:37,944 --> 00:03:38,945
Well, what, Cartman?
86
00:03:39,070 --> 00:03:43,491
33 aborted fetuses.
87
00:03:45,160 --> 00:03:47,704
Oh, yes.
88
00:03:47,829 --> 00:03:49,873
What?
89
00:03:49,998 --> 00:03:51,749
Mint condition,
tax-free.
90
00:03:51,875 --> 00:03:53,853
Cartman, what the hell are you
doing with aborted fetuses?
91
00:03:53,877 --> 00:03:55,211
I'm leaving right now.
92
00:03:55,336 --> 00:03:57,016
Oh, I guess you don't
watch the news, Kyle.
93
00:03:57,130 --> 00:03:58,650
You've never watched
the news, fat-ass.
94
00:03:58,715 --> 00:04:00,401
And what the hell does that
have to do with anything?
95
00:04:00,425 --> 00:04:02,719
Stem cells, numb nuts.
- Stem cells?
96
00:04:02,844 --> 00:04:04,446
Oh, and what do you know
about stem cells?
97
00:04:04,470 --> 00:04:05,722
What the heck
are stem cells?
98
00:04:05,847 --> 00:04:07,199
They're cells
that come from fetuses,
99
00:04:07,223 --> 00:04:08,492
and some research shows
that they could be used
100
00:04:08,516 --> 00:04:09,392
to treat diseases.
101
00:04:09,517 --> 00:04:10,685
It's been proven, Jew.
102
00:04:10,810 --> 00:04:12,145
I saw it on
3-2-1 Contact.
103
00:04:12,270 --> 00:04:13,855
With all the research
that's going on,
104
00:04:13,980 --> 00:04:16,149
stem cells are worth three times
their weight in gold.
105
00:04:16,274 --> 00:04:18,419
What I have in my backyard
is an aborted treasure chest.
106
00:04:18,443 --> 00:04:21,321
I hate you so much.
107
00:04:21,446 --> 00:04:23,531
[coughing]
108
00:04:23,656 --> 00:04:25,116
Fine,
I don't need you assholes.
109
00:04:25,241 --> 00:04:27,577
I can sell these fetuses
all on my own.
110
00:04:30,663 --> 00:04:34,083
Hello, is this the University
of Colorado Biology Department?
111
00:04:34,209 --> 00:04:36,336
Great, I understand
you're currently doing research
112
00:04:36,461 --> 00:04:38,046
on stem cells.
113
00:04:38,171 --> 00:04:39,964
Cool, because I'm currently
in possession
114
00:04:40,089 --> 00:04:43,259
of some aborted fetuses
I'm looking to unload.
115
00:04:43,384 --> 00:04:45,136
How much do you pay?
116
00:04:45,261 --> 00:04:46,861
No, no, come on,
I got a guy in Cleveland
117
00:04:46,971 --> 00:04:49,265
who's gonna give me
$80 a pound right now.
118
00:04:49,390 --> 00:04:50,892
How about 100?
119
00:04:51,017 --> 00:04:53,519
You're breaking my balls.
I'll think about it.
120
00:04:53,645 --> 00:04:55,271
Bos-nad Medical Group?
121
00:04:55,396 --> 00:04:57,899
Yeah, I called earlier about
the stem cells and the fetuses.
122
00:04:58,024 --> 00:05:00,026
Okay, hi, Randy, yeah.
123
00:05:00,151 --> 00:05:02,362
Oh, yes, they've been kept
in a cool temperature, yeah.
124
00:05:02,487 --> 00:05:04,864
These are primo fetuses, Randy.
I wouldn't jerk you around.
125
00:05:04,989 --> 00:05:07,158
So what can your company
give me for them?
126
00:05:07,283 --> 00:05:09,410
Oh, Randy,
you're breaking my balls here.
127
00:05:09,535 --> 00:05:10,721
You're breaking my balls,
Randy.
128
00:05:10,745 --> 00:05:12,121
Oh, please.
129
00:05:12,247 --> 00:05:13,682
Okay, you tell me where
you can get aborted fetuses
130
00:05:13,706 --> 00:05:15,041
for 70 cents on the dollar.
131
00:05:15,166 --> 00:05:17,210
You tell me, Chuck.
Yeah, I didn't think so.
132
00:05:17,335 --> 00:05:18,687
Y'know, I'm just like
the fetuses, Chuck.
133
00:05:18,711 --> 00:05:20,463
I wasn't born yesterday, either.
134
00:05:20,588 --> 00:05:22,298
Uh-huh, so are you
gonna talk to me,
135
00:05:22,423 --> 00:05:24,383
or are we just gonna keep
bullshitting each other?
136
00:05:24,467 --> 00:05:26,094
Breaking my balls, Chuck.
137
00:05:26,219 --> 00:05:28,405
I gotta unload these fetuses.
You want to do some research.
138
00:05:28,429 --> 00:05:30,556
Are we talking here or what?
You're breaking my balls.
139
00:05:30,682 --> 00:05:32,576
I'm telling you, if you let
this deal pass you by,
140
00:05:32,600 --> 00:05:33,893
you're making
a "fetal" mistake.
141
00:05:34,018 --> 00:05:36,062
Heh-heh.
142
00:05:36,187 --> 00:05:37,897
110?
143
00:05:38,022 --> 00:05:39,565
Alright, alright,
we got a deal.
144
00:05:39,691 --> 00:05:41,567
Good-bye.
145
00:05:41,693 --> 00:05:43,069
Damn, I'm good.
146
00:05:50,118 --> 00:05:51,661
Can I help you?
147
00:05:51,786 --> 00:05:53,706
Yes, I'm making a delivery
of these fetuses here.
148
00:05:53,746 --> 00:05:55,373
Oh, right, the fetuses.
149
00:05:55,498 --> 00:05:57,083
We were very lucky you called.
150
00:05:57,208 --> 00:05:59,436
Our last shipment of fetuses
was lost in a truck accident.
151
00:05:59,460 --> 00:06:00,795
Gee,
that's terrible.
152
00:06:00,920 --> 00:06:02,189
So who do I talk to
about payment?
153
00:06:02,213 --> 00:06:03,381
This is awful,
just awful.
154
00:06:03,506 --> 00:06:05,133
Oh, Larry.
155
00:06:05,258 --> 00:06:07,218
This young man has
the new fetuses for research.
156
00:06:07,343 --> 00:06:08,219
You're gonna love
these fetuses, Larry.
157
00:06:08,344 --> 00:06:09,929
They're top-notch.
158
00:06:10,054 --> 00:06:11,907
Oh, I'm sorry, but we can't
buy those from you now.
159
00:06:11,931 --> 00:06:14,183
What?
We made a deal, Gary.
160
00:06:14,309 --> 00:06:16,227
I brought them all the way
down here already.
161
00:06:16,352 --> 00:06:18,072
I'm afraid the government
has just put a ban
162
00:06:18,146 --> 00:06:19,397
on stem cell research.
163
00:06:19,522 --> 00:06:21,065
A ban? Why?
164
00:06:21,190 --> 00:06:22,670
Too many people
were upset about using
165
00:06:22,734 --> 00:06:24,193
aborted fetal tissue for study.
166
00:06:24,319 --> 00:06:25,570
It's too bad, too.
167
00:06:25,695 --> 00:06:29,032
We really could've helped
a lot of people.
168
00:06:29,157 --> 00:06:30,700
Hey, what the hell
am I supposed to do
169
00:06:30,825 --> 00:06:32,452
with these things, huh?
170
00:06:32,577 --> 00:06:35,621
God damn it!
171
00:06:35,747 --> 00:06:38,082
It looks like Cartman and
Kenny are ditching school again.
172
00:06:38,207 --> 00:06:39,647
Yeah, they're gonna
get busted again.
173
00:06:39,709 --> 00:06:42,003
Alright, class,
let's take our seats.
174
00:06:42,128 --> 00:06:44,297
Now, before we get started,
Stan and Kyle,
175
00:06:44,422 --> 00:06:46,257
the principal needs
to see you in her office.
176
00:06:46,382 --> 00:06:47,884
The principal--
oh, come on.
177
00:06:48,009 --> 00:06:49,889
We don't know where
Cartman is, Miss Choksondik.
178
00:06:49,927 --> 00:06:50,970
She needs to see you now.
179
00:06:51,095 --> 00:06:52,305
Ah, man,
here we go again.
180
00:06:52,430 --> 00:06:54,640
Use the Jew as a scapegoat.
181
00:06:56,100 --> 00:06:58,519
Hello, boys.
182
00:06:58,644 --> 00:07:00,563
Wait,
what's going on here?
183
00:07:00,688 --> 00:07:02,128
Alright, look,
we don't know for sure
184
00:07:02,190 --> 00:07:03,483
why Cartman
is ditching school,
185
00:07:03,608 --> 00:07:05,210
but it has something
to do with abortions.
186
00:07:05,234 --> 00:07:06,402
That's all we know.
187
00:07:06,527 --> 00:07:07,755
You didn't do
anything wrong, boys.
188
00:07:07,779 --> 00:07:09,238
We just need to talk to you.
189
00:07:09,364 --> 00:07:12,492
Have a seat.
190
00:07:12,617 --> 00:07:14,702
Boys, uh...
191
00:07:14,827 --> 00:07:17,997
Your little friend Kenny went to
the hospital last night, m'kay?
192
00:07:18,122 --> 00:07:21,959
And, well,
he's pretty sick.
193
00:07:22,085 --> 00:07:24,504
Kenny's sick?
194
00:07:24,629 --> 00:07:26,005
Well, how sick?
195
00:07:26,130 --> 00:07:28,716
Children,
Kenny has been diagnosed
196
00:07:28,841 --> 00:07:31,469
with a terminal disease.
197
00:07:31,594 --> 00:07:34,722
But the doctors are gonna
make him better, right?
198
00:07:34,847 --> 00:07:36,349
Oh, dear.
199
00:07:36,474 --> 00:07:37,743
Mom,
that's what hospitals are for.
200
00:07:37,767 --> 00:07:38,810
They can make him better.
201
00:07:38,935 --> 00:07:40,103
Randy.
202
00:07:40,228 --> 00:07:42,146
They don't think so,
Stanley.
203
00:07:42,271 --> 00:07:46,734
Your friend is terminally ill,
and that means...
204
00:07:46,859 --> 00:07:50,238
Well, son, that means he's going
to be going to heaven soon.
205
00:07:50,363 --> 00:07:53,616
Wait,
Kenny's going to die?
206
00:07:53,741 --> 00:07:55,284
He might, Kyle.
207
00:07:55,410 --> 00:07:58,788
But he's our f-f-f-friend.
208
00:07:58,913 --> 00:08:01,624
We know, and that's why
he's gonna need you boys
209
00:08:01,749 --> 00:08:04,127
to be strong for him, m'kay.
210
00:08:04,252 --> 00:08:05,920
He needs you now more than ever.
211
00:08:06,045 --> 00:08:09,382
No, this can't happen.
212
00:08:09,507 --> 00:08:10,675
Kenny can't die.
213
00:08:10,800 --> 00:08:12,427
Kenny can't die!
214
00:08:16,389 --> 00:08:17,682
Come on, Jack,
you got to be able
215
00:08:17,807 --> 00:08:19,350
to offer me more than that.
216
00:08:19,475 --> 00:08:21,370
Yes, I realize there's a ban
on stem cell research,
217
00:08:21,394 --> 00:08:23,730
but I've got 30-some-odd
human fetuses in my backyard.
218
00:08:23,855 --> 00:08:26,566
I'm sure there's other research
your company can do with them.
219
00:08:26,691 --> 00:08:28,151
You'll take one?
220
00:08:28,276 --> 00:08:29,694
Okay, how much for one?
221
00:08:29,819 --> 00:08:31,654
Oh, Jack, you're breaking
my balls here, Jack.
222
00:08:31,779 --> 00:08:34,032
Hello, is this Captain Bly's
Seafood Restaurant?
223
00:08:34,157 --> 00:08:36,409
Yeah, hi, I've got
a shipment of about 31
224
00:08:36,534 --> 00:08:38,494
of the most succulent shrimp
from the West Indies.
225
00:08:38,578 --> 00:08:40,163
These are
killer shrimp, Gary.
226
00:08:40,288 --> 00:08:41,557
Your customers
are gonna love 'em.
227
00:08:41,581 --> 00:08:43,341
What kind of price are you
paying for shrimp?
228
00:08:43,416 --> 00:08:45,501
Oh, Gary, you're breaking
my balls, Gary.
229
00:08:45,627 --> 00:08:46,711
How about 10 1/4?
230
00:08:46,836 --> 00:08:48,463
Balls, Gary,
breaking them.
231
00:08:48,588 --> 00:08:50,089
Alright,
I'll call you back.
232
00:08:50,215 --> 00:08:51,655
Sweetie, your friends
are downstairs.
233
00:08:51,758 --> 00:08:53,468
They need to see you.
234
00:08:53,593 --> 00:08:55,279
Not now, Mom; I've only
unloaded three fetae.
235
00:08:55,303 --> 00:08:56,983
I've gotta sell the rest
before they spoil.
236
00:08:57,013 --> 00:08:58,264
They say
it's an emergency.
237
00:08:58,389 --> 00:08:59,891
Alright.
Butters?
238
00:09:00,016 --> 00:09:00,808
Yeah?
239
00:09:00,934 --> 00:09:02,411
Are you through databasing
the clientele sheet?
240
00:09:02,435 --> 00:09:02,852
Just about.
241
00:09:02,977 --> 00:09:04,038
Alright, well,
you got to take over
242
00:09:04,062 --> 00:09:04,938
the telemarketing
for a bit.
243
00:09:05,063 --> 00:09:06,064
Oh, okay.
244
00:09:06,189 --> 00:09:06,981
Just remember
what I taught you
245
00:09:07,106 --> 00:09:08,191
and follow protocol.
246
00:09:08,316 --> 00:09:09,796
The next number to try
is on the list.
247
00:09:09,901 --> 00:09:13,238
Right.
248
00:09:13,363 --> 00:09:16,282
Uh, hello, is this Mr. Thompson
with anatomy research?
249
00:09:16,407 --> 00:09:18,660
Yes, uh--
hello, sir. Uh.
250
00:09:18,785 --> 00:09:20,370
Uh, we have a surplus
of unborn fetuses
251
00:09:20,495 --> 00:09:23,164
that we think you could use
for dissection study.
252
00:09:23,289 --> 00:09:25,833
Uh-huh, how much will you
pay for that?
253
00:09:25,959 --> 00:09:28,336
You're breaking my balls.
254
00:09:28,461 --> 00:09:31,089
I said you're breaking
my balls, Mr. Thompson.
255
00:09:31,214 --> 00:09:32,799
My--my balls.
256
00:09:32,924 --> 00:09:35,009
What is this,
a P.T.A. Meeting?
257
00:09:35,134 --> 00:09:38,972
Cartman, Kenny's
in the hospital.
258
00:09:39,097 --> 00:09:41,766
In the hospital, why?
259
00:09:41,891 --> 00:09:43,518
They told us he has
a muscular disease
260
00:09:43,643 --> 00:09:46,187
and that,
and that he might die.
261
00:09:46,312 --> 00:09:48,648
Die? Kenny?
262
00:09:48,773 --> 00:09:51,401
Don't you say that.
Kenny's not gonna die.
263
00:09:51,526 --> 00:09:54,004
I'm going to take the boys to go
see him at the hospital, Eric.
264
00:09:54,028 --> 00:09:55,214
We thought you might
want to come.
265
00:09:55,238 --> 00:09:57,490
Yeah, yeah, of course.
266
00:09:57,615 --> 00:09:59,951
Let me get my coat.
267
00:10:02,036 --> 00:10:02,787
There we go,
little buddy.
268
00:10:02,912 --> 00:10:04,330
Thank you.
269
00:10:04,455 --> 00:10:05,724
You sure you don't want
to take your jacket off?
270
00:10:05,748 --> 00:10:06,416
It's pretty warm.
271
00:10:06,541 --> 00:10:08,251
[muffled]
272
00:10:08,376 --> 00:10:09,836
Hey,
look who has some visitors.
273
00:10:09,961 --> 00:10:11,629
Ooh,
what a lucky little man.
274
00:10:11,754 --> 00:10:15,300
We'll be right outside
if you need us, Kenny.
275
00:10:16,718 --> 00:10:17,719
Hey, dude,
how's it going?
276
00:10:17,844 --> 00:10:19,595
Okay, I guess.
277
00:10:19,721 --> 00:10:21,973
We brought you a present.
It's a gobo fighter.
278
00:10:22,098 --> 00:10:23,641
Don't tell him
what it is, dude.
279
00:10:23,766 --> 00:10:24,934
Sorry.
280
00:10:25,059 --> 00:10:27,353
[coughing]
281
00:10:27,478 --> 00:10:30,023
Hey, we were all talking about
how when you get better,
282
00:10:30,148 --> 00:10:31,908
we're all gonna go down
to Stark's Pond again
283
00:10:31,941 --> 00:10:34,277
and go camping,
huh, Stan?
284
00:10:34,402 --> 00:10:37,989
I...
285
00:10:39,198 --> 00:10:41,075
Stan? Stan.
Where you going?
286
00:10:41,200 --> 00:10:42,535
I can't.
I just can't.
287
00:10:42,660 --> 00:10:43,870
Dude,
he needs us right now.
288
00:10:43,995 --> 00:10:45,264
I can't see him
like that, Kyle--
289
00:10:45,288 --> 00:10:46,622
All those hoses and wires.
290
00:10:46,748 --> 00:10:48,207
He's a kid, dude.
291
00:10:48,333 --> 00:10:49,435
He's supposed to be running
around and laughing.
292
00:10:49,459 --> 00:10:51,044
I know it's tough, but--
look at me.
293
00:10:51,169 --> 00:10:53,421
I know it's tough,
okay, I know.
294
00:10:53,546 --> 00:10:54,866
But we have to be tough
right now.
295
00:10:54,922 --> 00:10:56,341
And what are we
supposed to do, huh?
296
00:10:56,466 --> 00:10:57,776
Stand in that room
and keep making small talk?
297
00:10:57,800 --> 00:10:58,551
Make believe like
everything's okay?
298
00:10:58,676 --> 00:11:00,136
I can't do it.
299
00:11:00,261 --> 00:11:01,739
Look, however hard
you think it is for you,
300
00:11:01,763 --> 00:11:02,803
It's a lot harder for him.
301
00:11:02,889 --> 00:11:04,349
Just leave me alone.
302
00:11:04,474 --> 00:11:05,892
Stan, you can't leave.
303
00:11:06,017 --> 00:11:08,728
I'm not the one
who's leaving. He is.
304
00:11:12,190 --> 00:11:14,525
Y'know, it's funny, Kenny.
305
00:11:14,650 --> 00:11:16,003
Stan and Kyle
have always sort of been
306
00:11:16,027 --> 00:11:18,696
two best friends, y'know.
307
00:11:18,821 --> 00:11:22,408
Well, I don't know if I ever
told you this, Kenny--but, um...
308
00:11:22,533 --> 00:11:26,204
I kinda always thought
you were my best f-friend.
309
00:11:26,329 --> 00:11:27,580
I don't know.
310
00:11:27,705 --> 00:11:29,874
Yes,
you're my best friend, too.
311
00:11:29,999 --> 00:11:32,919
Okay, we're gonna need to give
Kenny some time to sleep now.
312
00:11:33,044 --> 00:11:34,044
Don't you worry,
Kenny.
313
00:11:34,087 --> 00:11:35,588
I'm gonna find a cure for you.
314
00:11:35,713 --> 00:11:37,840
Everything's gonna be okay.
315
00:11:40,802 --> 00:11:44,389
[sniffling]
316
00:11:44,514 --> 00:11:45,723
Cartman?
317
00:11:45,848 --> 00:11:47,266
Oh, Kyle, hey.
318
00:11:47,392 --> 00:11:50,353
What's going down, Jew-boy?
319
00:11:50,478 --> 00:11:52,438
Cartman, were you crying?
320
00:11:52,563 --> 00:11:54,607
No, no, I mean, I--I got
something in my eyes.
321
00:11:54,732 --> 00:11:58,403
It's the--air in here is just--
oh, man.
322
00:11:58,528 --> 00:12:01,239
Hey, Cartman.
323
00:12:01,364 --> 00:12:03,616
I care a lot about him, too.
324
00:12:09,747 --> 00:12:11,791
I'm gonna find a cure, Kyle.
325
00:12:11,916 --> 00:12:13,960
I swear to God,
I'm gonna find a cure.
326
00:12:14,085 --> 00:12:15,128
Sure, you will, Cartman.
327
00:12:15,253 --> 00:12:17,171
Sure, you will.
328
00:12:21,175 --> 00:12:23,344
This is where the bulk
of our stem cell research
329
00:12:23,469 --> 00:12:25,638
was being done,
but due to the government ban,
330
00:12:25,763 --> 00:12:27,598
we're mostly just
packing things up.
331
00:12:27,723 --> 00:12:29,851
Doctor, can you tell me
exactly how stem cells work?
332
00:12:29,976 --> 00:12:31,936
Look, you have trillions
of cells in your body:
333
00:12:32,061 --> 00:12:34,605
heart cells, skin cells,
brain cells, and so on.
334
00:12:34,730 --> 00:12:36,315
But before a cell
is designated
335
00:12:36,441 --> 00:12:38,901
as a toenail cell
or a pancreas cell,
336
00:12:39,026 --> 00:12:41,654
it's what we call a stem cell,
sort of like a blank cell.
337
00:12:41,779 --> 00:12:42,864
Do you understand?
338
00:12:42,989 --> 00:12:44,282
Not at all,
but go on.
339
00:12:44,407 --> 00:12:45,616
Because these cells
are blanks,
340
00:12:45,741 --> 00:12:47,243
they will often
program themselves
341
00:12:47,368 --> 00:12:49,454
based on what cells
you put around them.
342
00:12:49,579 --> 00:12:50,788
You see this rat?
343
00:12:50,913 --> 00:12:52,165
Earlier this year,
344
00:12:52,290 --> 00:12:54,059
We surgically removed
the middle of her spine.
345
00:12:54,083 --> 00:12:55,686
Then we injected her
with some stem cells,
346
00:12:55,710 --> 00:12:58,379
and they became the missing
part of the spine.
347
00:12:58,504 --> 00:12:59,922
My God.
348
00:13:00,047 --> 00:13:01,687
Nerve cells damaged
by Parkinson's Disease
349
00:13:01,799 --> 00:13:03,634
or heart tissue
of cardiac patients
350
00:13:03,759 --> 00:13:07,388
might ultimately be replaced by
tissue grown from stem cells.
351
00:13:07,513 --> 00:13:09,599
So then could
stem cells be used
352
00:13:09,724 --> 00:13:11,726
on someone whose muscle
tissue is wasting away?
353
00:13:11,851 --> 00:13:13,186
In other words,
354
00:13:13,311 --> 00:13:15,122
if a little boy was dying
from a muscular disease,
355
00:13:15,146 --> 00:13:17,190
the stem cells could
become new muscle tissue.
356
00:13:17,315 --> 00:13:18,315
That's the theory.
357
00:13:18,357 --> 00:13:19,942
Well, so then,
358
00:13:20,067 --> 00:13:22,087
if the stem cells are placed
next to a Shakey's Pizza,
359
00:13:22,111 --> 00:13:23,711
they would become
another Shakey's Pizza.
360
00:13:23,821 --> 00:13:25,301
And you'd have your own
Shakey's Pizza
361
00:13:25,406 --> 00:13:27,259
where you didn't have to
charge yourself to eat.
362
00:13:27,283 --> 00:13:28,677
Well, no,
to build another Shakey's,
363
00:13:28,701 --> 00:13:29,928
it would be better
to use lumber.
364
00:13:29,952 --> 00:13:30,953
Hmm.
365
00:13:31,078 --> 00:13:32,413
But, unfortunately,
366
00:13:32,538 --> 00:13:34,266
the government has banned
stem cell research.
367
00:13:34,290 --> 00:13:36,125
And so... we'll never know.
368
00:13:36,250 --> 00:13:37,769
Looks like somebody's
gonna have to try
369
00:13:37,793 --> 00:13:39,754
and change
the government's mind.
370
00:13:39,879 --> 00:13:41,380
Where are you going?
371
00:13:41,506 --> 00:13:43,358
There's a pretty brave kid
fighting for his life
372
00:13:43,382 --> 00:13:44,702
in the hospital
right now, Doctor.
373
00:13:44,759 --> 00:13:47,762
I'm gonna go get him
some bigger boxing gloves.
374
00:13:47,887 --> 00:13:49,096
Hey, kid...
375
00:13:50,473 --> 00:13:52,558
Give 'em hell.
376
00:13:52,683 --> 00:13:53,683
Give 'em hell.
377
00:13:55,645 --> 00:13:57,688
Oh, Doctor...
378
00:13:57,813 --> 00:14:01,692
Thanks... Thanks.
379
00:14:01,817 --> 00:14:04,237
Oh, and hey, kid...
380
00:14:04,362 --> 00:14:07,073
Good luck...
Good luck.
381
00:14:11,118 --> 00:14:13,746
Oh, and Doctor...
Oh, nevermind.
382
00:14:17,333 --> 00:14:19,043
And see?
Here's one from Butters.
383
00:14:19,168 --> 00:14:21,188
It says, "we can't wait to see
you back in school, Kenny."
384
00:14:21,212 --> 00:14:23,440
And it has a picture of him
and you in a little airplane.
385
00:14:23,464 --> 00:14:24,966
Oh, isn't that nice?
386
00:14:25,091 --> 00:14:27,135
You've got lots of friends,
don't you, Kenny?
387
00:14:27,260 --> 00:14:28,678
Yes...
[coughing]
388
00:14:28,803 --> 00:14:29,804
And what about Stan?
389
00:14:29,929 --> 00:14:31,306
Stan?
390
00:14:31,431 --> 00:14:33,308
Oh, well, no,
there's nothing here from Stan.
391
00:14:33,433 --> 00:14:35,035
But, well, Stan's gonna come see
you real soon, I bet, Kenny.
392
00:14:35,059 --> 00:14:36,102
I hope so.
393
00:14:36,227 --> 00:14:37,854
Hey, look who's here.
394
00:14:37,979 --> 00:14:39,147
Stan?
395
00:14:39,272 --> 00:14:40,440
Hello, Kenny.
396
00:14:40,565 --> 00:14:42,125
I'm Laura Jones,
and this is Bob Farren.
397
00:14:42,191 --> 00:14:43,735
We're with the
Make-a-Wish Foundation.
398
00:14:43,860 --> 00:14:45,611
Oh, Kenny,
isn't that nice?
399
00:14:45,737 --> 00:14:46,988
Make-a-Wish Foundation?
400
00:14:47,113 --> 00:14:48,865
We travel the country
giving special little
401
00:14:48,990 --> 00:14:50,700
boys and girls like you
their biggest wish.
402
00:14:50,825 --> 00:14:52,869
Neat, huh, Kenny?
- Yeah.
403
00:14:52,994 --> 00:14:54,829
So, Kenny,
if you could have one wish,
404
00:14:54,954 --> 00:14:56,122
what would it be?
405
00:14:58,416 --> 00:15:00,501
What's your wish, pal?
406
00:15:01,794 --> 00:15:04,297
[muffled]
407
00:15:04,422 --> 00:15:06,007
What did he say?
408
00:15:06,132 --> 00:15:09,594
He said his wish
is not to die.
409
00:15:18,144 --> 00:15:21,939
Okay, and what if
you could have two wishes?
410
00:15:22,065 --> 00:15:24,901
What would the second one be?
411
00:15:25,026 --> 00:15:28,071
I know, I bet you'd like
to meet Madonna, huh?
412
00:15:28,196 --> 00:15:30,907
[ mumbling rapidly]
413
00:15:33,868 --> 00:15:35,203
What was that?
414
00:15:35,328 --> 00:15:36,888
He said Madonna's
an old, anorexic whore
415
00:15:36,954 --> 00:15:38,274
who wore out
her welcome years ago
416
00:15:38,373 --> 00:15:39,808
and that now she suddenly
speaks with a British accent,
417
00:15:39,832 --> 00:15:41,018
and she thinks
she can play guitar,
418
00:15:41,042 --> 00:15:42,543
and she should go
fuck herself.
419
00:15:44,462 --> 00:15:45,880
Should I come in now?
420
00:15:46,005 --> 00:15:47,005
Uh, not quite yet.
421
00:15:54,764 --> 00:15:56,641
Hello, there, children.
- Hey, Chef.
422
00:15:56,766 --> 00:15:58,518
How's it going?
- Bad.
423
00:15:58,643 --> 00:16:01,479
Yeah, things have
been better, huh?
424
00:16:01,604 --> 00:16:04,065
Why would God
let Kenny die, Chef, why?
425
00:16:04,190 --> 00:16:06,192
Kenny's my f-friend.
426
00:16:06,317 --> 00:16:08,319
Why can't God
take someone else's f-f-friend?
427
00:16:08,444 --> 00:16:12,240
Stan, sometimes God
takes those closest to us
428
00:16:12,365 --> 00:16:14,742
because it makes him
feel better about himself.
429
00:16:14,867 --> 00:16:17,578
He's a very vengeful God,
Stan.
430
00:16:17,703 --> 00:16:19,956
He's all pissed off
about something we did
431
00:16:20,081 --> 00:16:21,499
thousands of years ago.
432
00:16:21,624 --> 00:16:23,501
He just can't get over it.
433
00:16:23,626 --> 00:16:25,336
So he doesn't care
who he takes:
434
00:16:25,461 --> 00:16:27,380
children, puppies--
it don't matter to him
435
00:16:27,505 --> 00:16:29,841
so long as it makes us sad.
436
00:16:29,966 --> 00:16:31,342
Do you understand?
437
00:16:31,467 --> 00:16:33,445
But then why does God give us
anything to start with?
438
00:16:33,469 --> 00:16:34,720
Well,
look at it this way.
439
00:16:34,846 --> 00:16:36,472
If you want to make
a baby cry,
440
00:16:36,597 --> 00:16:39,600
first you give it a lollipop,
then you take it away.
441
00:16:39,725 --> 00:16:41,936
If you never give it
a lollipop to begin with,
442
00:16:42,061 --> 00:16:44,313
then you would have
nothing to cry about.
443
00:16:44,439 --> 00:16:45,773
That's like God,
444
00:16:45,898 --> 00:16:48,526
who gives us life
and love and health
445
00:16:48,651 --> 00:16:52,113
just so that he can tear it
all away and make us cry.
446
00:16:52,238 --> 00:16:54,699
So he can drink
the sweet milk of our tears.
447
00:16:54,824 --> 00:16:57,118
You see,
it's our tears, Stan,
448
00:16:57,243 --> 00:17:01,622
that give God
his great power.
449
00:17:01,747 --> 00:17:03,583
I think I understand.
450
00:17:06,669 --> 00:17:09,672
My name is Eric Cartman,
and I live in Colorado.
451
00:17:09,797 --> 00:17:11,733
My best friend in the whole
world is Kenny MCcormick,
452
00:17:11,757 --> 00:17:13,759
and he's sick right now.
453
00:17:13,885 --> 00:17:15,511
He's real sick.
454
00:17:15,636 --> 00:17:17,221
He's only eight years old,
455
00:17:17,346 --> 00:17:19,032
and the doctors don't think
he has very long to live.
456
00:17:19,056 --> 00:17:21,601
Look, I realize
that using the tissue
457
00:17:21,726 --> 00:17:24,395
from aborted fetuses for
research is a touchy subject,
458
00:17:24,520 --> 00:17:28,774
but all I know is that if
there's a chance, a chance,
459
00:17:28,900 --> 00:17:31,444
that stem cell research could
save my best friend's life,
460
00:17:31,569 --> 00:17:34,822
well, I guess I owe it to him
to try and change your minds.
461
00:17:36,866 --> 00:17:39,494
I love Kenny McCormick, and...
[sniffling]
462
00:17:39,619 --> 00:17:42,455
and I want you to love him, too.
463
00:17:42,580 --> 00:17:44,749
[sniffling]
464
00:17:44,874 --> 00:17:48,377
I'm sorry. I'm not the best
speaker in the world.
465
00:17:48,503 --> 00:17:53,174
Maybe I could put it best
in the words of a timeless song.
466
00:17:53,299 --> 00:17:57,386
♪ It was the heat
of the moment ♪
467
00:17:57,512 --> 00:18:00,723
♪ Telling me
what your heart meant ♪
468
00:18:00,848 --> 00:18:06,521
♪ The heat of the moment
shone in your eyes ♪
469
00:18:06,646 --> 00:18:10,816
♪ I never meant to be
so bad to you ♪
470
00:18:10,942 --> 00:18:14,695
♪ One thing I said
that I would never do ♪
471
00:18:14,820 --> 00:18:18,991
♪ One look from you
and I would fall from grace ♪
472
00:18:19,116 --> 00:18:21,494
♪ And that would
wipe the smile ♪
473
00:18:21,619 --> 00:18:24,580
♪ Right from my face ♪
474
00:18:24,705 --> 00:18:29,085
[together] ♪ Do you remember
when we used to dance ♪
475
00:18:29,210 --> 00:18:33,631
♪ And incidents arose
from circumstance? ♪
476
00:18:33,756 --> 00:18:37,426
♪ One thing led to another;
we were young ♪
477
00:18:37,552 --> 00:18:42,348
♪ And we would scream
together songs unsung ♪
478
00:18:42,473 --> 00:18:46,060
♪ It was the heat
of the moment ♪
479
00:18:46,185 --> 00:18:49,397
♪ Telling me what
your heart meant ♪
480
00:18:49,522 --> 00:18:54,986
♪ The heat of the moment
shone in your eyes ♪
481
00:18:58,781 --> 00:19:00,658
And so you see,
now that the ban
482
00:19:00,783 --> 00:19:02,219
on stem cell research
has been lifted,
483
00:19:02,243 --> 00:19:04,329
we can sell your fetus
to companies like Alder Labs.
484
00:19:04,454 --> 00:19:05,997
Oh, I don't know.
485
00:19:06,122 --> 00:19:08,499
Look, I can offer you $75
for that fetus right now, Jill.
486
00:19:08,624 --> 00:19:10,460
$75? Well, alright.
487
00:19:10,585 --> 00:19:12,628
Great,
just sign right here, please.
488
00:19:12,754 --> 00:19:14,589
Hi,
having an abortion today?
489
00:19:14,714 --> 00:19:17,192
Great, listen--if you'd like to
sell your abortion for research,
490
00:19:17,216 --> 00:19:18,718
I'm offering $75.
491
00:19:18,843 --> 00:19:20,821
Help you out a little bit
with your medical bill in there.
492
00:19:20,845 --> 00:19:22,031
Why don't you sign right here?
493
00:19:22,055 --> 00:19:23,431
Excuse me, ma'am,
494
00:19:23,556 --> 00:19:25,326
Can I interest you
in selling your aborted fetus?
495
00:19:25,350 --> 00:19:26,660
We're not going
to the abortion clinic.
496
00:19:26,684 --> 00:19:27,685
I'm gonna have this baby.
497
00:19:27,810 --> 00:19:29,479
Oh,
I'm sorry to hear that,
498
00:19:29,604 --> 00:19:31,206
because there's a little boy
dying in a hospital right now
499
00:19:31,230 --> 00:19:33,000
who could sure use that baby
more than you could.
500
00:19:33,024 --> 00:19:35,085
The stem cells from your fetus
could help save his life.
501
00:19:35,109 --> 00:19:37,362
Oh, well,
I guess we can always
502
00:19:37,487 --> 00:19:38,571
just make another one.
503
00:19:38,696 --> 00:19:40,365
Oh, Mark, I love you.
504
00:19:40,490 --> 00:19:41,532
Alright.
505
00:19:41,657 --> 00:19:43,534
Now Kenny has
a fighting chance.
506
00:19:47,330 --> 00:19:48,970
Young man, do you know
where you're going?
507
00:19:49,082 --> 00:19:50,541
Yeah,
I'm gonna see my friend,
508
00:19:50,666 --> 00:19:52,251
because he needs me right now.
509
00:19:52,377 --> 00:19:53,586
Alright.
510
00:19:53,711 --> 00:19:56,672
Go, kid.
- Good for you.
511
00:19:58,633 --> 00:20:01,219
Hey, Kenny.
512
00:20:05,306 --> 00:20:07,058
Oh, no.
513
00:20:07,183 --> 00:20:09,936
No.
514
00:20:10,061 --> 00:20:13,356
He just--
he just stopped breathing.
515
00:20:13,481 --> 00:20:14,816
And it was over.
516
00:20:14,941 --> 00:20:18,444
But...
I didn't get to see him.
517
00:20:18,569 --> 00:20:20,196
Kyle, I didn't get
to say good-bye.
518
00:20:23,032 --> 00:20:26,035
Did he say anything
before he went?
519
00:20:26,160 --> 00:20:29,330
He just said...
"where's Stan?"
520
00:20:36,462 --> 00:20:39,298
And so we will all miss Kenny;
521
00:20:39,424 --> 00:20:42,885
his playful laughter,
his innocent smile.
522
00:20:43,010 --> 00:20:46,639
But we will never forget that
it was because of brave Kenny
523
00:20:46,764 --> 00:20:49,475
that stem cell research
was allowed to continue.
524
00:20:49,600 --> 00:20:51,310
I let Kenny down.
525
00:20:51,436 --> 00:20:52,770
I'm his worst f-f-friend.
526
00:20:52,895 --> 00:20:54,355
You guys, come quick.
527
00:20:54,480 --> 00:20:55,898
What, Cartman?
528
00:20:56,023 --> 00:21:00,236
It's--why,
it's a miracle, you guys...
529
00:21:00,361 --> 00:21:02,029
What, Cartman?
What's happened?
530
00:21:02,155 --> 00:21:03,155
Look.
531
00:21:05,032 --> 00:21:07,034
I put the stem cells
from all the fetuses I had
532
00:21:07,160 --> 00:21:08,369
next to Shakey's,
533
00:21:08,494 --> 00:21:10,288
and they are replicating
a new Shakey's.
534
00:21:10,413 --> 00:21:11,414
It worked.
535
00:21:11,539 --> 00:21:13,207
This whole time,
536
00:21:13,332 --> 00:21:14,792
you were just using
Kenny's illness
537
00:21:14,917 --> 00:21:16,228
to lift the ban
on stem cell research
538
00:21:16,252 --> 00:21:18,087
so you could sell
your stupid fetuses?
539
00:21:18,212 --> 00:21:20,548
Stupid fetuses?
It's my own Shakey's.
540
00:21:20,673 --> 00:21:22,175
I actually hugged you.
541
00:21:22,300 --> 00:21:24,385
I held you in my arms
and cried with you.
542
00:21:24,510 --> 00:21:26,554
I figure I only need
100 or so more aborted babies,
543
00:21:26,679 --> 00:21:27,698
and I can finish up the kitchen.
544
00:21:27,722 --> 00:21:28,722
Aaah!
545
00:21:28,806 --> 00:21:30,183
Ahh, Kyle.
546
00:21:30,308 --> 00:21:31,893
Kyle.
547
00:21:32,018 --> 00:21:33,370
Hey, I wasn't Kenny's
worst f-f-friend.
548
00:21:33,394 --> 00:21:34,729
Cartman was.
39683
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