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1
00:00:12,250 --> 00:00:13,502
♪ I'm going down
to South Park ♪
2
00:00:13,627 --> 00:00:15,295
♪ Gonna have myself
a time ♪
3
00:00:15,420 --> 00:00:17,255
Both: ♪ Friendly faces
everywhere ♪
4
00:00:17,380 --> 00:00:18,740
♪ Humble folks
without temptation ♪
5
00:00:18,840 --> 00:00:20,068
♪ I'm going down
to South Park ♪
6
00:00:20,092 --> 00:00:22,219
♪ Gonna leave
my woes behind ♪
7
00:00:22,344 --> 00:00:23,762
♪ Ample parking
day or night ♪
8
00:00:23,887 --> 00:00:25,305
♪ People spouting
"howdy neighbor" ♪
9
00:00:25,430 --> 00:00:26,630
♪ Headin' on up
to South Park ♪
10
00:00:26,723 --> 00:00:28,892
♪ Gonna see
if I can't unwind ♪
11
00:00:29,017 --> 00:00:31,978
♪ [muffled] ♪
12
00:00:32,104 --> 00:00:33,264
♪ Come on down
to South Park ♪
13
00:00:33,355 --> 00:00:35,190
♪ And meet
some friends of mine ♪
14
00:00:36,900 --> 00:00:37,985
♪ Do do do doo ♪
15
00:00:38,110 --> 00:00:40,445
♪ Da da da da daa
ya da da daa ♪
16
00:00:40,571 --> 00:00:42,406
♪ Do do doo
da da daa ♪
17
00:00:42,531 --> 00:00:44,533
♪ Hey-de hey-de
how's it going, guys ♪
18
00:00:44,658 --> 00:00:46,326
What the hell you
so happy about, fat ass?
19
00:00:46,451 --> 00:00:47,870
Oh, nothing,
no big deal, really.
20
00:00:47,995 --> 00:00:49,454
What's no big deal?
21
00:00:49,580 --> 00:00:51,307
Well, guys, it seems
that I am the first one of us
22
00:00:51,331 --> 00:00:53,250
to reach manhood
after all.
23
00:00:53,375 --> 00:00:55,043
What the hell
are you talking about?
24
00:00:55,169 --> 00:00:56,920
Well, because
unlike you guys,
25
00:00:57,045 --> 00:00:59,214
I just got
my first pubes.
26
00:00:59,339 --> 00:01:01,300
♪ Ya da da da
ya da da dee ♪
27
00:01:01,425 --> 00:01:03,135
[muffled] You got pubes?
- What's pubes?
28
00:01:03,260 --> 00:01:05,071
Pubic hair. He's saying
he got his first pubic hair.
29
00:01:05,095 --> 00:01:06,346
Oh.
No, you didn't!
30
00:01:06,471 --> 00:01:08,432
Oh, yes, I did.
I'm becoming a man.
31
00:01:08,557 --> 00:01:09,725
He's lying.
32
00:01:09,850 --> 00:01:10,994
You wanna see 'em?
- Hell, no!
33
00:01:11,018 --> 00:01:12,144
Here, check 'em out.
34
00:01:12,269 --> 00:01:13,413
We don't wanna
see them, Cartman!
35
00:01:13,437 --> 00:01:14,479
There, see?
36
00:01:14,605 --> 00:01:16,064
How do you like
them apples?
37
00:01:16,190 --> 00:01:17,191
Ha!
38
00:01:17,316 --> 00:01:18,483
What are those?
- My pubes.
39
00:01:18,609 --> 00:01:20,152
What?
- I got 'em from Scott Tenorman.
40
00:01:20,277 --> 00:01:21,597
Scott Tenorman--
the ninth grader?
41
00:01:21,695 --> 00:01:23,614
Yep, he let me have 'em
for just 10 bucks.
42
00:01:23,739 --> 00:01:25,157
Ha, ha, ha!
43
00:01:25,282 --> 00:01:26,384
♪ I got pubes
before you guys did ♪
44
00:01:26,408 --> 00:01:27,784
♪ I got pubes
before you guys ♪
45
00:01:27,910 --> 00:01:29,578
♪ Ha, ha, ha, ha,
ha, ha ♪
46
00:01:29,703 --> 00:01:31,681
Cartman, you are so goddamn
stupid, it's unbelievable.
47
00:01:31,705 --> 00:01:33,749
Ah-ha,
don't be jealous, guys.
48
00:01:33,874 --> 00:01:35,514
This doesn't mean
we can't still hang out.
49
00:01:35,584 --> 00:01:37,461
It just means
that I matured faster than you.
50
00:01:37,586 --> 00:01:39,504
You'll get your pubes,
guys, someday.
51
00:01:39,630 --> 00:01:41,566
Cartman, you don't buy pubes,
you grow them yourself.
52
00:01:41,590 --> 00:01:42,590
Wh-what?
53
00:01:42,633 --> 00:01:44,092
When you get
old enough,
54
00:01:44,218 --> 00:01:45,653
you grow your own pubic hair
that's attached to you,
55
00:01:45,677 --> 00:01:46,678
you fucking dumbass!
56
00:01:46,803 --> 00:01:49,306
Nuh-uh.
- Yeah-huh.
57
00:01:49,431 --> 00:01:51,099
But then why would
Scott Tenorman
58
00:01:51,225 --> 00:01:52,726
sell me his pubes for $10?
59
00:01:52,851 --> 00:01:54,311
Because, retard,
you're dumb enough
60
00:01:54,436 --> 00:01:58,065
to buy Scott Tenorman's pubes
for $10.
61
00:01:58,190 --> 00:01:59,876
You're telling me these pubes
are worth nothing?
62
00:01:59,900 --> 00:02:01,276
Yeah.
63
00:02:01,401 --> 00:02:02,587
I'm gonna get
that son of a bitch.
64
00:02:02,611 --> 00:02:04,279
And so I told him,
I said,
65
00:02:04,404 --> 00:02:06,406
"Here, I'll sell you my pubes
for only 10 bucks."
66
00:02:06,531 --> 00:02:07,824
And the stupid asshole
buys them.
67
00:02:07,950 --> 00:02:09,117
[both laughing]
68
00:02:09,243 --> 00:02:10,953
Speak of the devil.
What do you want?
69
00:02:11,078 --> 00:02:12,555
Uh, yes, I've come
to return these pubes
70
00:02:12,579 --> 00:02:13,580
that I purchased, please.
71
00:02:13,705 --> 00:02:14,873
Uh-uh,
I don't take returns.
72
00:02:14,998 --> 00:02:16,375
Right, but you see,
73
00:02:16,500 --> 00:02:18,228
I didn't realize when I bought
these pubes from you
74
00:02:18,252 --> 00:02:19,419
that you were
full of shit,
75
00:02:19,544 --> 00:02:21,024
so you can either
give me back my $10,
76
00:02:21,129 --> 00:02:22,881
or I can go
tell my mom on you.
77
00:02:23,006 --> 00:02:24,246
You would actually
tell your mom
78
00:02:24,341 --> 00:02:26,221
that you were stupid enough
to pay for my pubes?
79
00:02:26,301 --> 00:02:27,511
Uh-uh,
I don't think so.
80
00:02:27,636 --> 00:02:28,470
Just give me back
my money.
81
00:02:28,595 --> 00:02:29,763
Buyer beware, dude.
82
00:02:29,888 --> 00:02:31,056
Give me my $10, Scott.
83
00:02:31,181 --> 00:02:32,432
Hey, I said no.
84
00:02:32,557 --> 00:02:34,035
Now, get your fat little butt
out of here
85
00:02:34,059 --> 00:02:36,728
before I kick
your head in.
86
00:02:39,022 --> 00:02:42,067
[doorbell rings]
87
00:02:42,192 --> 00:02:43,753
Hello, sir, my name
is Kris Kristofferson.
88
00:02:43,777 --> 00:02:45,487
I'm with the IRS.
89
00:02:45,612 --> 00:02:48,073
I'm here to collect $10
that you owe in back taxes.
90
00:02:48,198 --> 00:02:49,408
You're not
from the IRS.
91
00:02:49,533 --> 00:02:51,368
You glued my pubes
onto your face.
92
00:02:51,493 --> 00:02:54,246
Tax evasion
is a very serious offense, sir.
93
00:02:54,371 --> 00:02:56,123
I suggest that you--
all right, all right.
94
00:02:56,248 --> 00:02:57,809
I'll trade you my pubes back
for the money.
95
00:02:57,833 --> 00:02:59,293
You will?
Oh, cool!
96
00:02:59,418 --> 00:03:01,920
How much did I charge?
Oh, yeah, $10.
97
00:03:02,045 --> 00:03:03,297
You got change
for a $20?
98
00:03:03,422 --> 00:03:04,923
Oh, uh...
99
00:03:05,048 --> 00:03:07,384
I only got $6.12.
100
00:03:07,509 --> 00:03:09,511
Oh, well, that's okay.
101
00:03:09,636 --> 00:03:11,555
Here, just give me
the $6.
102
00:03:11,680 --> 00:03:13,765
And then I'll give you the $20.
- Okay.
103
00:03:13,890 --> 00:03:15,850
Now, give me the pubes,
and I'll give you back $2.
104
00:03:15,934 --> 00:03:17,352
- Right.
Now, give me the 12ȼ.
105
00:03:17,477 --> 00:03:19,163
And I'll give you the rest
of your change back.
106
00:03:19,187 --> 00:03:20,856
Cool.
107
00:03:20,981 --> 00:03:22,500
And then give me the $20,
and I'll give you the pubes.
108
00:03:22,524 --> 00:03:23,775
Sweet!
109
00:03:23,900 --> 00:03:25,068
Uh--
ah, God damn it!
110
00:03:26,653 --> 00:03:28,113
That asshole.
111
00:03:28,238 --> 00:03:29,632
That big, smelly,
ass-sniffing asshole.
112
00:03:29,656 --> 00:03:30,824
I'm gonna get him!
113
00:03:30,949 --> 00:03:32,093
Cartman, can I give you
some advice?
114
00:03:32,117 --> 00:03:33,618
What?
- Just let it go, dude.
115
00:03:33,744 --> 00:03:36,705
You're only out $16.12.
Count your losses and move on.
116
00:03:36,830 --> 00:03:37,998
He's smarter than you.
117
00:03:38,123 --> 00:03:39,249
He is not
smarter than me!
118
00:03:39,374 --> 00:03:40,250
He just charmed me,
that's all.
119
00:03:40,375 --> 00:03:41,877
He's a charmer,
that Scott Tenorman,
120
00:03:42,002 --> 00:03:44,004
but I'll get him someday.
121
00:03:44,129 --> 00:03:45,797
One, please.
- One, please.
122
00:03:45,922 --> 00:03:47,215
[muffled] One, please.
123
00:03:47,341 --> 00:03:48,884
One, please.
124
00:03:53,764 --> 00:03:55,349
That'll be $6.
125
00:03:55,474 --> 00:03:58,226
Okay, and how much
is that in pubes?
126
00:03:58,352 --> 00:03:59,936
We don't take pubes.
127
00:04:00,062 --> 00:04:01,662
Listen, my money is as good
as anybody's.
128
00:04:01,688 --> 00:04:03,482
Don't you... discriminate
against my people
129
00:04:03,607 --> 00:04:05,275
by not accepting these pubes.
130
00:04:05,400 --> 00:04:07,444
We don't take pubes,
end of story!
131
00:04:07,569 --> 00:04:08,695
Racist!
132
00:04:08,820 --> 00:04:10,614
[doorbell rings]
133
00:04:10,739 --> 00:04:12,199
Scott, Scott!
134
00:04:12,324 --> 00:04:13,343
Courtney Love
is in South Park!
135
00:04:13,367 --> 00:04:14,910
She's all drunk
and spreading her legs
136
00:04:15,035 --> 00:04:16,787
and showing her "poonaner"
to everybody!
137
00:04:16,912 --> 00:04:18,848
You gotta go check it out!
I'll watch your house for you.
138
00:04:18,872 --> 00:04:20,141
Okay, I'll buy the pubes back.
Here.
139
00:04:20,165 --> 00:04:21,541
What?
$16, take it.
140
00:04:21,666 --> 00:04:23,085
I'll even throw in
an extra five.
141
00:04:23,210 --> 00:04:24,795
Here.
Give me back my pubes.
142
00:04:24,920 --> 00:04:27,089
Why do you want them back
so much?
143
00:04:27,214 --> 00:04:28,715
No reason.
- I don't believe you.
144
00:04:28,840 --> 00:04:29,840
All right, all right.
145
00:04:29,925 --> 00:04:31,085
The pube fair
in Fort Collins.
146
00:04:31,134 --> 00:04:32,552
Pube fair?
147
00:04:32,677 --> 00:04:34,113
They're paying five bucks
a hair for pubes.
148
00:04:34,137 --> 00:04:35,656
If I leave now,
I can catch the last bus.
149
00:04:35,680 --> 00:04:36,973
Five bucks a hair?
150
00:04:37,099 --> 00:04:38,558
That's, like,
a million dollars!
151
00:04:38,683 --> 00:04:39,768
Here, take your money.
152
00:04:39,893 --> 00:04:41,144
Ha, ha,
I don't think so, Scott.
153
00:04:41,269 --> 00:04:43,438
I'm going
to Fort Collins myself.
154
00:04:43,563 --> 00:04:45,690
Oh, you can't do this to me.
No!
155
00:04:45,816 --> 00:04:47,275
Ha, ha,
sure right you are, Scott.
156
00:04:47,401 --> 00:04:49,820
Have you no heart?
157
00:04:49,945 --> 00:04:51,780
Ha, ha,
what a stupid asshole!
158
00:04:51,905 --> 00:04:53,281
Heh, heh, heh.
159
00:04:55,158 --> 00:04:58,036
Ha, ha, hoo!
$1 million!
160
00:04:58,161 --> 00:04:59,161
Whoo! Ah!
161
00:05:03,250 --> 00:05:04,918
Ha, ha, ha.
162
00:05:05,043 --> 00:05:07,003
Heh.
163
00:05:09,172 --> 00:05:10,924
Uh, excuse me, sir.
- Yes?
164
00:05:11,049 --> 00:05:12,485
Can you tell me
where the pube fair is?
165
00:05:12,509 --> 00:05:13,635
The pube fair?
166
00:05:13,760 --> 00:05:15,095
Yeah, I've got
some pubes to sell.
167
00:05:15,220 --> 00:05:18,014
There's no such thing,
you little smart-ass.
168
00:05:18,140 --> 00:05:19,724
No--
no such thing?
169
00:05:19,850 --> 00:05:22,036
Hey, you wouldn't happen
to be Eric Cart-man, would you?
170
00:05:22,060 --> 00:05:23,060
I'm Eric Cartman.
171
00:05:23,103 --> 00:05:24,271
Oh, I think
this is for you.
172
00:05:31,528 --> 00:05:33,155
Ahhhh!
173
00:05:34,990 --> 00:05:37,242
[knocking]
174
00:05:37,367 --> 00:05:39,870
106 miles, Scott.
175
00:05:39,995 --> 00:05:42,831
I had to ride 106 miles
in the back of a pickup truck
176
00:05:42,956 --> 00:05:44,082
to get back here.
177
00:05:44,207 --> 00:05:45,876
You really went?
What a 'tard.
178
00:05:46,001 --> 00:05:47,544
All right, Scott, you win.
I give up.
179
00:05:47,669 --> 00:05:48,795
You do?
180
00:05:48,920 --> 00:05:50,273
Wow, you're not
as stupid as I thought.
181
00:05:50,297 --> 00:05:51,923
Yeah, I'll see you around.
182
00:05:52,048 --> 00:05:54,259
Sure is too bad
about my grandma, though.
183
00:05:54,384 --> 00:05:55,677
Your grandma?
- Huh?
184
00:05:55,802 --> 00:05:57,762
Oh, it's not really
your concern.
185
00:05:57,888 --> 00:06:00,015
It's just that, well,
my grandma is in the hospital.
186
00:06:00,140 --> 00:06:01,933
She's very sick.
187
00:06:02,058 --> 00:06:05,103
Doctors say unless I can come up
with $16 for her operation,
188
00:06:05,228 --> 00:06:06,563
they're gonna
put her down.
189
00:06:06,688 --> 00:06:09,608
Oh, jeez,
I didn't realize that.
190
00:06:09,733 --> 00:06:11,526
Yeah, poor grandma.
191
00:06:11,651 --> 00:06:14,196
Hey, kid,
hold on a second.
192
00:06:14,321 --> 00:06:16,573
I'll get your money.
193
00:06:16,698 --> 00:06:18,158
Heh, heh, heh.
194
00:06:18,283 --> 00:06:21,119
He's such a douche.
195
00:06:21,244 --> 00:06:22,496
here you go.
196
00:06:22,621 --> 00:06:23,955
Oh, wow,
thanks a lot, Scott.
197
00:06:24,080 --> 00:06:26,374
But just one thing
before I give it to you.
198
00:06:26,500 --> 00:06:27,125
What?
199
00:06:27,250 --> 00:06:30,378
I just--well,
I want to you beg for it.
200
00:06:30,504 --> 00:06:31,296
Huh?
201
00:06:31,421 --> 00:06:32,523
Just get down on your knees
and beg me for the money.
202
00:06:32,547 --> 00:06:33,715
Why?
203
00:06:33,840 --> 00:06:35,425
Do you want your grandma
to live or not?
204
00:06:35,550 --> 00:06:37,153
[quickly] Please, Scott,
give me my money.
205
00:06:37,177 --> 00:06:39,971
No, no,
get down on your knees.
206
00:06:40,096 --> 00:06:41,723
Lower your head...
207
00:06:41,848 --> 00:06:45,727
And say, "I beg you
to give me back my money."
208
00:06:45,852 --> 00:06:47,312
I beg you
to give me back my money.
209
00:06:47,437 --> 00:06:49,231
Now say,
"I'm a little piggy."
210
00:06:49,356 --> 00:06:51,566
What?
- Say it.
211
00:06:51,691 --> 00:06:53,068
I'm a little piggy.
212
00:06:53,193 --> 00:06:55,904
"Here's my snout."
- Here's my snout.
213
00:06:56,029 --> 00:06:58,365
"Oink, oink, oink."
oink, oink, oink.
214
00:06:58,490 --> 00:07:01,701
Now, dance, little piggy.
Dance and oink for me.
215
00:07:03,286 --> 00:07:05,914
♪ I'm a little piggy,
here's my snout ♪
216
00:07:06,039 --> 00:07:08,750
♪ Oink, oink, oink,
oink, oink, oink ♪
217
00:07:08,875 --> 00:07:10,210
♪ I'm a little piggy- ♪
[laughs]
218
00:07:10,335 --> 00:07:11,729
All right,
now, give me back my money!
219
00:07:11,753 --> 00:07:13,922
You mean this?
220
00:07:14,047 --> 00:07:16,091
You really care that much
about 16 measly dollars?
221
00:07:16,216 --> 00:07:17,926
I mean, what can you buy
with $16?
222
00:07:18,051 --> 00:07:19,803
My parents give me
a $50-a-week allowance.
223
00:07:19,928 --> 00:07:21,248
This pittance
means nothing to me.
224
00:07:21,304 --> 00:07:22,430
Watch.
225
00:07:22,556 --> 00:07:24,349
Wh-what are you doing?
226
00:07:26,851 --> 00:07:30,272
No, no.
Why?
227
00:07:30,397 --> 00:07:32,065
Now you can't bug me
for your dumb money.
228
00:07:39,656 --> 00:07:41,950
[screaming]
229
00:07:48,790 --> 00:07:50,709
[all talking at once]
230
00:07:52,502 --> 00:07:54,463
Concerned citizens,
I thank you for coming.
231
00:07:54,588 --> 00:07:56,024
I know that you're all
deeply troubled
232
00:07:56,048 --> 00:07:57,758
and want to find
a quick and painful way
233
00:07:57,883 --> 00:08:01,136
to get rid of Scott Tenorman
once and for all.
234
00:08:01,261 --> 00:08:02,530
Yes, Clyde?
- Who's Scott Tenorman?
235
00:08:02,554 --> 00:08:03,597
All: Yeah.
236
00:08:03,722 --> 00:08:05,042
Scott Tenorman
is an eighth grader
237
00:08:05,140 --> 00:08:06,367
who sold Cartman
his pubes for $10,
238
00:08:06,391 --> 00:08:07,059
and now Cartman's
all pissed off.
239
00:08:07,184 --> 00:08:09,269
$16.12.
240
00:08:09,394 --> 00:08:10,687
He is a disease.
241
00:08:10,812 --> 00:08:12,022
He is a cold,
calculating man,
242
00:08:12,147 --> 00:08:13,523
and I will have revenge!
243
00:08:13,648 --> 00:08:15,233
What are you
gonna do?
244
00:08:15,359 --> 00:08:16,794
Did you guys see
that movie Hannibal,
245
00:08:16,818 --> 00:08:18,445
where the deformed guy
trained giant pigs
246
00:08:18,570 --> 00:08:20,072
to eat his enemy alive?
247
00:08:20,197 --> 00:08:22,657
Well, if we find a pony,
we can train it,
248
00:08:22,783 --> 00:08:25,786
train it to bite off
Scott Tenorman's wiener.
249
00:08:27,537 --> 00:08:29,039
It will be painful
and humiliating.
250
00:08:29,164 --> 00:08:30,624
Everyone
will see it happen.
251
00:08:30,749 --> 00:08:32,542
And then Scott Tenorman
will forever be known
252
00:08:32,667 --> 00:08:34,961
as the kid who had his wiener
bitten off by a pony!
253
00:08:35,087 --> 00:08:36,505
Ha, ha, ha, ha!
254
00:08:36,630 --> 00:08:38,006
What's in it for us?
- What?
255
00:08:38,131 --> 00:08:39,383
Yeah, why should
we all care
256
00:08:39,508 --> 00:08:40,902
about getting Scott Tenorman
back for you?
257
00:08:40,926 --> 00:08:43,095
Oh, right.
Why should we care?
258
00:08:43,220 --> 00:08:45,263
Yes, why should we care?
Indeed.
259
00:08:45,389 --> 00:08:49,059
Let's just let Scott Tenorman
walk away with my $16.12.
260
00:08:49,184 --> 00:08:51,224
Hell, let's let all
the Scott Tenormans of the world
261
00:08:51,269 --> 00:08:52,829
take what's ours
and laugh in our faces.
262
00:08:52,938 --> 00:08:54,499
Why stand up for yourself
when you can just
263
00:08:54,523 --> 00:08:56,191
walk out of here right now
and say
264
00:08:56,316 --> 00:08:57,734
it's not your problem?
265
00:08:57,859 --> 00:09:00,237
But years from now,
when you're old
266
00:09:00,362 --> 00:09:02,030
and have children
of your own,
267
00:09:02,155 --> 00:09:05,117
what would you give to come back
and fight this one day,
268
00:09:05,242 --> 00:09:07,702
this one day, where you could
have made a difference,
269
00:09:07,828 --> 00:09:09,348
where you could've
told Scott Tenorman,
270
00:09:09,413 --> 00:09:10,747
"you may take our pride,
271
00:09:10,872 --> 00:09:13,792
but you'll never take
my goddamn $16.12?"
272
00:09:13,917 --> 00:09:15,043
Now, who's with me?
273
00:09:15,168 --> 00:09:16,962
Timmy!
274
00:09:17,087 --> 00:09:18,547
Christ.
275
00:09:18,672 --> 00:09:20,441
All right, I guess
it's just you and me, Timmy.
276
00:09:20,465 --> 00:09:22,384
Oh, no, not Timmy.
277
00:09:22,509 --> 00:09:24,052
[door slams]
278
00:09:27,264 --> 00:09:28,932
There we go.
279
00:09:29,057 --> 00:09:31,476
Come and get it!
280
00:09:31,601 --> 00:09:33,728
Come on, pony,
bite the wiener.
281
00:09:33,854 --> 00:09:35,772
Bite it.
282
00:09:35,897 --> 00:09:37,232
Come on, good pony.
283
00:09:37,357 --> 00:09:38,859
That's it.
284
00:09:38,984 --> 00:09:40,068
Now, bite it off!
285
00:09:40,193 --> 00:09:42,446
Bite off the wiener.
Good pony!
286
00:09:42,571 --> 00:09:44,656
Oh, no, pony,
he'll like that.
287
00:09:44,781 --> 00:09:47,033
Eric, are you training
that pony to please you?
288
00:09:47,159 --> 00:09:49,536
No, I'm trying to teach it
how to bite someone's penis off.
289
00:09:49,661 --> 00:09:51,163
Oh.
290
00:09:51,288 --> 00:09:53,099
Well, does Mr. Jenkins know
you're using his pony?
291
00:09:53,123 --> 00:09:54,723
He shoots trespassers
on sight, you know.
292
00:09:54,791 --> 00:09:55,667
He said it was okay.
293
00:09:55,792 --> 00:09:57,377
All right, then.
Wait.
294
00:09:57,502 --> 00:09:59,222
What the hell are you
training Jenkins' pony
295
00:09:59,337 --> 00:10:00,464
to bite off
someone's penis?
296
00:10:00,589 --> 00:10:03,592
Because...
of Scott Tenorman.
297
00:10:03,717 --> 00:10:06,344
I hate him, and I want
to make him suffer.
298
00:10:06,470 --> 00:10:08,722
Well, son, I think you've got
a pretty stupid plan there.
299
00:10:08,847 --> 00:10:10,807
Not like that, pony!
300
00:10:10,932 --> 00:10:12,893
Look, if you wanna get
revenge on somebody,
301
00:10:13,018 --> 00:10:14,895
you've gotta think
like a hunter.
302
00:10:15,020 --> 00:10:16,188
What do you mean?
303
00:10:16,313 --> 00:10:18,231
Step one:
find someone's weakness.
304
00:10:18,356 --> 00:10:20,525
Step two:
exploit that weakness.
305
00:10:20,650 --> 00:10:21,693
How do I do that?
306
00:10:31,495 --> 00:10:32,329
What do you see?
307
00:10:32,454 --> 00:10:33,872
I see Scott Tenorman,
308
00:10:33,997 --> 00:10:35,917
with his ginger red hair
and his stupid freckles.
309
00:10:36,041 --> 00:10:37,876
And God damn it!
I hate him! I hate him!
310
00:10:38,001 --> 00:10:40,545
No, young hunter.
I mean, what do you see?
311
00:10:40,670 --> 00:10:42,231
You must learn all you can
about your kill.
312
00:10:42,255 --> 00:10:43,548
Right, right.
313
00:10:43,673 --> 00:10:44,758
Let's see.
314
00:10:44,883 --> 00:10:47,052
There's posters,
Radiohead posters.
315
00:10:47,177 --> 00:10:49,304
And he's reading a magazine
about Radiohead.
316
00:10:49,429 --> 00:10:50,722
What's a Radiohead?
317
00:10:50,847 --> 00:10:52,325
You know, that band
that sings that song.
318
00:10:52,349 --> 00:10:55,977
♪ Well, I'm a creep,
I'm a weirdo ♪
319
00:10:56,102 --> 00:10:57,979
[through voice box]
♪ What am I doing here ♪
320
00:10:58,104 --> 00:11:00,106
Oh, Jesus,
don't start singing, Ned.
321
00:11:00,232 --> 00:11:02,567
So the subject
is a big Radiohead fan, huh?
322
00:11:02,692 --> 00:11:03,818
Maybe I should come up...
323
00:11:03,944 --> 00:11:04,528
[cockney accent]
with a lit'l scheme
324
00:11:04,653 --> 00:11:05,737
that involves them.
325
00:11:05,862 --> 00:11:07,030
Nice thinking,
young hunter.
326
00:11:07,155 --> 00:11:08,657
Whoa.
- What?
327
00:11:08,782 --> 00:11:10,222
I'm looking
in Scott's parents' room.
328
00:11:10,283 --> 00:11:11,117
Scott's mom's
about to take off her bra.
329
00:11:11,243 --> 00:11:12,536
What?
Give me those!
330
00:11:12,661 --> 00:11:14,079
Holy crow,
he's right, Ned!
331
00:11:14,204 --> 00:11:15,872
Mrs. Tenorman's
lettin' the twins out.
332
00:11:15,997 --> 00:11:17,457
Let me see.
333
00:11:17,582 --> 00:11:19,501
Radiohead.
Yes, of course.
334
00:11:19,626 --> 00:11:21,753
Dear God, they're even bigger
than I ever imagined!
335
00:11:21,878 --> 00:11:23,255
Let me see.
Let me see.
336
00:11:23,380 --> 00:11:25,715
Here you go.
- Wow, those were great.
337
00:11:25,840 --> 00:11:27,384
Maybe I should go
grab some beers, Ned.
338
00:11:27,509 --> 00:11:29,135
Ned, what--
are you jackin' it?
339
00:11:29,261 --> 00:11:30,887
Kinda.
- Well, stop it!
340
00:11:33,807 --> 00:11:35,600
Hey, what the hell
are you doing out there?
341
00:11:35,725 --> 00:11:37,352
Oh, crap!
- Who's out there?
342
00:11:37,477 --> 00:11:39,037
Ned, for Christ's sake,
stop jackin' it.
343
00:11:39,062 --> 00:11:40,146
I can't.
344
00:11:40,272 --> 00:11:41,731
Don't think
I don't see you!
345
00:11:41,856 --> 00:11:43,417
I know who you are,
and I'm calling the police!
346
00:11:43,441 --> 00:11:44,568
Whoa!
Whoops!
347
00:11:44,693 --> 00:11:46,695
I gotta get
out of here!
348
00:11:46,820 --> 00:11:49,155
[doorbell rings]
349
00:11:49,281 --> 00:11:50,907
Oh, hey, Scott.
How's it going?
350
00:11:51,032 --> 00:11:52,325
I was just wondering,
351
00:11:52,450 --> 00:11:54,619
do you like the band, uh,
Radiohead at all?
352
00:11:54,744 --> 00:11:56,246
Uh-huh.
Oh, really?
353
00:11:56,371 --> 00:11:58,665
Oh, 'cause they're doing
a big interview on MTV,
354
00:11:58,790 --> 00:12:00,977
and they're playing it tonight
on a big screen downtown.
355
00:12:01,001 --> 00:12:02,586
Everyone's gonna be there.
356
00:12:02,711 --> 00:12:05,088
Oh, cool.
Thanks for telling me.
357
00:12:05,213 --> 00:12:06,756
You're welcome, Scott.
358
00:12:09,509 --> 00:12:11,303
Okay, well, looks like
everyone is here.
359
00:12:11,428 --> 00:12:13,096
Let's play the video,
shall we?
360
00:12:14,681 --> 00:12:16,266
Welcome back to MTV.
361
00:12:16,391 --> 00:12:18,143
We're here with the members
from Radiohead,
362
00:12:18,268 --> 00:12:20,162
probably the hottest band
in the world right now.
363
00:12:20,186 --> 00:12:22,063
Guys, when is your next
album coming out?
364
00:12:22,188 --> 00:12:24,458
[Cartman dubbed over] That's
an interesting question, Kurt.
365
00:12:24,482 --> 00:12:25,942
But first
I'd just like to say
366
00:12:26,067 --> 00:12:27,987
that I really hate this kid
named Scott Tenorman.
367
00:12:28,028 --> 00:12:29,195
He's stupid.
368
00:12:29,321 --> 00:12:30,822
Yeah, I hate
Scott Tenorman too.
369
00:12:30,947 --> 00:12:32,174
I think all the guys
in the band hate him,
370
00:12:32,198 --> 00:12:33,617
Right, guys?
371
00:12:33,742 --> 00:12:35,011
Oh, Jesus,
did you hear that, Scott?
372
00:12:35,035 --> 00:12:36,411
And will there be
a new tour?
373
00:12:36,536 --> 00:12:37,746
Well, we would tour,
374
00:12:37,871 --> 00:12:39,751
but we just hate
that Scott Tenorman kid so much
375
00:12:39,873 --> 00:12:41,207
that we don't want to.
376
00:12:41,333 --> 00:12:43,293
Yeah, Scott Tenorman
is totally not cool.
377
00:12:43,418 --> 00:12:44,919
He's not cool.
378
00:12:45,045 --> 00:12:47,422
Wow, that really sucks
for you, Scott.
379
00:12:47,547 --> 00:12:48,548
Scott?
380
00:12:48,673 --> 00:12:50,884
Ha, ha, ha, ha!
Did you see that?
381
00:12:51,009 --> 00:12:52,969
Scott must've ran home
so embarrassed.
382
00:12:53,094 --> 00:12:54,721
Ha, ha, ha, ha!
And you know what?
383
00:12:54,846 --> 00:12:56,598
That wasn't really
Radiohead talking.
384
00:12:56,723 --> 00:12:58,308
I just dubbed
their voices over.
385
00:12:58,433 --> 00:13:00,602
Ha, ha, ha!
What a retard!
386
00:13:00,727 --> 00:13:02,854
And everyone saw it!
[feedback whistling]
387
00:13:02,979 --> 00:13:05,190
Ladies and gentlemen,
boys and girls,
388
00:13:05,315 --> 00:13:08,818
it's time
for the amazing pube boy!
389
00:13:08,943 --> 00:13:11,404
♪ I'm a little piggy,
here's my snout ♪
390
00:13:11,529 --> 00:13:14,074
♪ Oink, oink, oink,
oink, oink, oink ♪
391
00:13:14,199 --> 00:13:17,744
[all laughing]
392
00:13:17,869 --> 00:13:20,246
♪ I'm a little piggy,
here's my snout ♪
393
00:13:20,372 --> 00:13:23,333
[laughter increasing]
394
00:13:26,503 --> 00:13:27,962
Oh, my God,
he killed Kenny.
395
00:13:28,088 --> 00:13:29,756
That does it.
396
00:13:29,881 --> 00:13:32,384
I'm going to get Scott Tenorman
once and for all!
397
00:13:32,509 --> 00:13:35,720
[thunder booming]
398
00:13:35,845 --> 00:13:38,515
You think you're so cool,
Scott Tenorman.
399
00:13:38,640 --> 00:13:40,975
We'll see how cool you feel
after this.
400
00:13:41,101 --> 00:13:43,353
Yes, yes.
401
00:13:43,478 --> 00:13:45,021
Yes!
402
00:13:45,146 --> 00:13:47,232
[muttering]
403
00:13:49,275 --> 00:13:50,819
Ha, ha, ha, ha.
Ha, ha, ha, ha.
404
00:13:50,944 --> 00:13:53,697
Yes, it is the most genius
plan ever.
405
00:13:53,822 --> 00:13:56,282
Scott Tenorman is going to wish
he never met me!
406
00:14:00,620 --> 00:14:01,860
Okay, Cartman,
what do you want?
407
00:14:01,955 --> 00:14:03,331
Stan, Kyle,
thanks for coming.
408
00:14:03,457 --> 00:14:05,435
I've got it all figured out.
- Got what all figured out?
409
00:14:05,459 --> 00:14:06,793
How to get
Scott Tenorman back.
410
00:14:06,918 --> 00:14:08,503
Oh, Jesus.
411
00:14:08,628 --> 00:14:10,398
I've just finished planning
a brilliant lit'l scheme
412
00:14:10,422 --> 00:14:12,215
that should put Scott
in his place for good.
413
00:14:12,340 --> 00:14:14,843
And if you help me,
I'll give each of you $2.
414
00:14:14,968 --> 00:14:17,429
Okay,
so what's the plan?
415
00:14:17,554 --> 00:14:19,931
It's the brilliant combination
of my last two plans.
416
00:14:20,056 --> 00:14:22,058
Scott Tenorman's favorite band
is Radiohead, right?
417
00:14:22,184 --> 00:14:23,226
Yeah?
418
00:14:23,351 --> 00:14:24,871
So I realized,
what if we got Radiohead
419
00:14:24,978 --> 00:14:26,688
to come here
to South Park, right?
420
00:14:26,813 --> 00:14:29,065
Then they could meet
Scott Tenorman and...
421
00:14:29,191 --> 00:14:32,569
See him get his wiener
bitten off by a pony!
422
00:14:32,694 --> 00:14:34,404
What?
- Don't you see?
423
00:14:34,529 --> 00:14:36,449
If I can get this pony
to bite off Scott's wiener
424
00:14:36,531 --> 00:14:38,950
in front of Radiohead,
then Scott would cry.
425
00:14:39,075 --> 00:14:40,952
And if Scott cries,
then Radiohead will think
426
00:14:41,077 --> 00:14:43,246
Scott Tenorman
is totally not cool!
427
00:14:43,371 --> 00:14:44,891
And that would make
Scott Tenorman want to die.
428
00:14:44,915 --> 00:14:46,041
Ha, ha, ha!
429
00:14:46,166 --> 00:14:47,667
Okay, I'll keep working
on the pony.
430
00:14:47,792 --> 00:14:49,187
You guys go get Radiohead
to play here.
431
00:14:49,211 --> 00:14:51,546
Ready? Break!
432
00:14:51,671 --> 00:14:54,007
You're such a dumbass,
Cartman.
433
00:14:54,132 --> 00:14:57,093
Fine, I'll do it myself!
You guys just watch!
434
00:14:57,219 --> 00:15:00,263
Ready, pony?
Bite it!
435
00:15:00,388 --> 00:15:01,388
Yes!
436
00:15:03,808 --> 00:15:05,310
Thom, will you stop
reading fan mail?
437
00:15:05,435 --> 00:15:06,478
We have work to do.
438
00:15:06,603 --> 00:15:08,230
Just a second, fellas.
Listen to this.
439
00:15:08,355 --> 00:15:10,357
"Dear Radiohead,
my name is Eric Cartman.
440
00:15:10,482 --> 00:15:12,859
"I'm a young,
supple eight-year-old boy
441
00:15:12,984 --> 00:15:14,402
"from South Park, Colorado.
442
00:15:14,528 --> 00:15:16,321
"I'm writing to you
because of a kid I know
443
00:15:16,446 --> 00:15:17,948
"named Scott Tenorman.
444
00:15:18,073 --> 00:15:21,493
"Scott is 15,
and I'm afraid he has cancer
445
00:15:21,618 --> 00:15:23,453
"in his ass.
446
00:15:23,578 --> 00:15:26,138
"Radiohead is his favorite band,
and it would make his short life
447
00:15:26,164 --> 00:15:27,624
"if you could find it
in your hearts
448
00:15:27,749 --> 00:15:30,168
"to visit him before he dies
alone, scared.
449
00:15:30,293 --> 00:15:31,753
"Won't you please
consider it?
450
00:15:31,878 --> 00:15:36,466
I don't think he'll make it
past next Tuesday around 5:00."
451
00:15:36,591 --> 00:15:38,343
Wow, we have to go.
452
00:15:38,468 --> 00:15:40,720
To Colorado?
But we've got an album to mix.
453
00:15:40,845 --> 00:15:42,264
Didn't you hear
the letter?
454
00:15:42,389 --> 00:15:44,808
This poor kid has cancer!
In his ass!
455
00:15:44,933 --> 00:15:46,768
[phone rings]
456
00:15:46,893 --> 00:15:47,727
Hello?
457
00:15:47,852 --> 00:15:49,354
Scott Tenorman?
- What do you want?
458
00:15:49,479 --> 00:15:51,582
We just wanna warn you,
Eric Cartman, the fourth grader,
459
00:15:51,606 --> 00:15:52,959
is going to try
to trick you somehow
460
00:15:52,983 --> 00:15:54,252
into getting
your wiener bitten off
461
00:15:54,276 --> 00:15:55,819
by a pony that lives
at Jenkins' ranch.
462
00:15:55,944 --> 00:15:57,630
How do you know?
- 'Cause we're his friends.
463
00:15:57,654 --> 00:15:59,114
Then why are you
telling me?
464
00:15:59,239 --> 00:16:00,532
'Cause we hate him.
- Oh.
465
00:16:00,657 --> 00:16:02,093
Well, we just thought
we'd let you know.
466
00:16:02,117 --> 00:16:02,993
See ya.
- See ya.
467
00:16:03,118 --> 00:16:05,370
[doorbell rings]
468
00:16:05,495 --> 00:16:06,538
Hello, Scott.
- Hey.
469
00:16:06,663 --> 00:16:07,914
I was just stopping by
470
00:16:08,039 --> 00:16:09,749
to invite you
to my "Chili con Carnival."
471
00:16:09,874 --> 00:16:11,585
It's a chili cook-off
with rides.
472
00:16:11,710 --> 00:16:13,086
Everyone's coming,
473
00:16:13,211 --> 00:16:15,630
and I wanted to drop by
your invitation personally.
474
00:16:15,755 --> 00:16:17,173
Ooh, a Chili Carnival,
huh?
475
00:16:17,299 --> 00:16:18,800
That sounds great.
476
00:16:18,925 --> 00:16:21,011
Yeah, there's even
gonna be a big surprise,
477
00:16:21,136 --> 00:16:23,054
so you won't wanna
miss it, Scott.
478
00:16:23,179 --> 00:16:24,514
Oh, and here.
479
00:16:24,639 --> 00:16:27,183
Here's a coupon good
for one free pony ride.
480
00:16:27,309 --> 00:16:28,935
Wow, a pony ride.
Neat.
481
00:16:29,060 --> 00:16:31,021
Oh, it will be
very neat, Scott.
482
00:16:31,146 --> 00:16:33,189
Gosh.
Chili, rides, and ponies.
483
00:16:33,315 --> 00:16:34,566
What more could I want?
484
00:16:34,691 --> 00:16:36,291
[quietly] A little
penis-biting, perhaps.
485
00:16:36,401 --> 00:16:37,569
What?
- Nothing, nothing.
486
00:16:37,694 --> 00:16:38,921
So you'll come for sure,
then, Scott?
487
00:16:38,945 --> 00:16:40,196
How could I turn it down?
488
00:16:40,322 --> 00:16:43,783
Sweet, killer.
Bye, Scott.
489
00:16:43,908 --> 00:16:47,245
Oh, you are good, Eric.
You are very, very good.
490
00:16:47,370 --> 00:16:50,123
Mom, Dad, that was
my good friend Eric at the door.
491
00:16:50,248 --> 00:16:52,125
He told me that there's
a starving pony
492
00:16:52,250 --> 00:16:53,810
at Jenkins' ranch
that's been abandoned.
493
00:16:53,877 --> 00:16:54,877
Oh, dear.
494
00:16:54,961 --> 00:16:56,588
Yeah, I feel really bad,
495
00:16:56,713 --> 00:16:58,048
But I don't know
how I can help it
496
00:16:58,173 --> 00:16:59,841
because I have a lot
of homework to do.
497
00:16:59,966 --> 00:17:01,134
Well, don't you
worry, Scott.
498
00:17:01,259 --> 00:17:02,761
Your mom and I
can go get the pony
499
00:17:02,886 --> 00:17:04,405
and have it taken
to an animal shelter.
500
00:17:04,429 --> 00:17:05,472
We sure can.
501
00:17:05,597 --> 00:17:06,765
Wow, would you really?
502
00:17:06,890 --> 00:17:08,308
I feel
so much better now.
503
00:17:08,433 --> 00:17:10,644
Oh, Scott, you're such
a loving, caring boy.
504
00:17:10,769 --> 00:17:12,354
I'm so proud of you.
505
00:17:12,479 --> 00:17:13,688
I'm proud of you too, Mom.
506
00:17:13,813 --> 00:17:15,440
Let's go, hon.
- Let's.
507
00:17:16,983 --> 00:17:18,401
What are you doing, Scott?
508
00:17:18,526 --> 00:17:19,795
What's it look like?
I'm making chili.
509
00:17:19,819 --> 00:17:21,029
Did you bring
the goods?
510
00:17:21,154 --> 00:17:22,781
We got everyone we could find
to chip in.
511
00:17:22,906 --> 00:17:25,106
There's pubes from just about
every kid in town in here.
512
00:17:25,158 --> 00:17:27,577
Awesome.
- Oh, dude!
513
00:17:27,702 --> 00:17:29,847
The little fat kid thinks
he's gonna get revenge tomorrow.
514
00:17:29,871 --> 00:17:31,432
We'll see how he likes it
when I tell him
515
00:17:31,456 --> 00:17:33,166
he just ate the pubes
of every kid in town.
516
00:17:33,291 --> 00:17:34,501
Yeah!
[all laughing]
517
00:17:39,881 --> 00:17:41,174
Oh, hello, guys.
518
00:17:41,299 --> 00:17:43,343
Thanks for coming
to my Chili con Carnival.
519
00:17:43,468 --> 00:17:45,405
This is the dumbest thing
you've ever done, Cartman.
520
00:17:45,429 --> 00:17:47,722
Oh, it won't be so dumb
when Scott Tenorman arrives.
521
00:17:47,848 --> 00:17:50,016
I suggest you stay
to see the fireworks.
522
00:17:50,142 --> 00:17:51,268
Oh, we will.
523
00:17:51,393 --> 00:17:53,478
Trust us,
we wouldn't miss this.
524
00:17:53,603 --> 00:17:54,705
What's so funny?
- Oh, nothing.
525
00:17:54,729 --> 00:17:56,273
It's just cool
526
00:17:56,398 --> 00:17:57,834
how you're gonna get
Scott Tenorman back.
527
00:17:57,858 --> 00:17:59,752
Is Radiohead here yet?
- Not yet, but they will be.
528
00:17:59,776 --> 00:18:00,776
Yeah, sure.
529
00:18:00,861 --> 00:18:02,195
Hello, Eric.
- Hey, Chef.
530
00:18:02,320 --> 00:18:03,714
I made some chili
to enter into the contest.
531
00:18:03,738 --> 00:18:05,282
What contest?
532
00:18:05,407 --> 00:18:06,783
This is a chili cook-off,
ain't it?
533
00:18:06,908 --> 00:18:08,452
Huh?
Oh, yeah, I guess it is.
534
00:18:08,577 --> 00:18:09,995
Here, just put it
over here.
535
00:18:10,120 --> 00:18:11,329
It's my special recipe.
536
00:18:11,455 --> 00:18:13,206
Scott Tenorman!
537
00:18:13,331 --> 00:18:17,002
How are you, Scott?
Thanks so much for coming.
538
00:18:17,127 --> 00:18:19,045
Oh, I wouldn't
miss this for anything.
539
00:18:19,171 --> 00:18:20,505
Likewise.
540
00:18:20,630 --> 00:18:22,591
Well, come on.
You've got to see the pony.
541
00:18:22,716 --> 00:18:24,134
Just a second.
542
00:18:24,259 --> 00:18:25,528
Don't you wanna taste
my chili first?
543
00:18:25,552 --> 00:18:27,554
Well, yeah, but there's
a special guest coming,
544
00:18:27,679 --> 00:18:30,307
and I want you to be near
the pony when they arrive.
545
00:18:30,432 --> 00:18:31,752
Well, I don't want it
to get cold.
546
00:18:31,850 --> 00:18:33,977
I think I can win
first prize.
547
00:18:34,102 --> 00:18:36,396
All right, Scott, let's go
over to the judging table,
548
00:18:36,521 --> 00:18:38,482
and we'll try
the chili first.
549
00:18:38,607 --> 00:18:41,234
God damn it.
550
00:18:41,359 --> 00:18:43,588
All right, I guess we should
taste each other's chili, huh?
551
00:18:43,612 --> 00:18:44,988
This chili
looks pretty good.
552
00:18:45,113 --> 00:18:47,616
Here's mine.
553
00:18:47,741 --> 00:18:50,202
Mmm, I don't know.
Your chili is good, Cartman.
554
00:18:50,327 --> 00:18:52,162
But I think mine is better.
Try it.
555
00:18:52,287 --> 00:18:54,039
All right.
556
00:18:59,294 --> 00:19:02,005
Hey, this is great!
557
00:19:02,130 --> 00:19:04,049
It's a special recipe.
558
00:19:04,174 --> 00:19:06,134
God, this is
really good, Scott.
559
00:19:06,259 --> 00:19:07,594
I'm glad you like it
so much,
560
00:19:07,719 --> 00:19:09,279
because now that
you're almost finished,
561
00:19:09,346 --> 00:19:10,889
I have something
to tell you.
562
00:19:11,014 --> 00:19:12,516
What?
563
00:19:12,641 --> 00:19:14,851
You mean about how you
put pubes in your chili?
564
00:19:14,976 --> 00:19:17,229
What?
565
00:19:17,354 --> 00:19:19,314
Yes, I'm afraid
this isn't your chili, Scott.
566
00:19:19,439 --> 00:19:21,691
I switched it
with Chef's.
567
00:19:21,816 --> 00:19:23,902
It's delicious, Chef.
I hadn't planned on that.
568
00:19:24,027 --> 00:19:25,445
What I did plan on,
however,
569
00:19:25,570 --> 00:19:27,465
was that my friends
Stan and Kyle would betray me
570
00:19:27,489 --> 00:19:30,825
and warn you that the Chili
con Carnival was a trap.
571
00:19:30,951 --> 00:19:32,619
I assumed
that they would tell you
572
00:19:32,744 --> 00:19:34,996
that I had trained Jenkins'
pony to bite off your wiener.
573
00:19:35,121 --> 00:19:37,521
What they didn't tell you was
that Jenkins is a crazy redneck
574
00:19:37,582 --> 00:19:39,334
who shoots trespassers
on sight.
575
00:19:39,459 --> 00:19:40,544
Knowing that you would go
576
00:19:40,669 --> 00:19:42,254
and try to do something
to the pony,
577
00:19:42,379 --> 00:19:44,214
I warned Mr. Jenkins
that violent pony killers
578
00:19:44,339 --> 00:19:45,882
were in the area.
579
00:19:46,007 --> 00:19:47,485
I also knew that you
wouldn't go yourself
580
00:19:47,509 --> 00:19:49,219
for fear of having
your wiener bitten off.
581
00:19:49,344 --> 00:19:51,096
You would most likely
send your parents.
582
00:19:51,221 --> 00:19:53,056
And I'm afraid
that when Mr. Jenkins
583
00:19:53,181 --> 00:19:54,724
spotted them on his property,
584
00:19:54,849 --> 00:19:56,768
he shot and killed
both your parents.
585
00:19:56,893 --> 00:19:59,396
[gunshots]
586
00:19:59,521 --> 00:20:02,274
Well, they was trespassin',
and I was protectin' myself.
587
00:20:02,399 --> 00:20:03,984
I have my rights.
588
00:20:04,109 --> 00:20:06,403
My... mom and dad
are dead?
589
00:20:06,528 --> 00:20:08,154
I came just in time
to see Mr. Jenkins
590
00:20:08,280 --> 00:20:10,240
giving his report
to Officer Barbrady
591
00:20:10,365 --> 00:20:13,076
and, of course,
to steal the bodies.
592
00:20:13,201 --> 00:20:15,245
After a night with the hacksaw,
I was all ready
593
00:20:15,370 --> 00:20:17,330
to put on
my Chili Con Carnival
594
00:20:17,455 --> 00:20:18,815
so that I could tell you
personally
595
00:20:18,873 --> 00:20:20,250
about your parents' demise
596
00:20:20,375 --> 00:20:22,752
and, of course,
feed you your chili.
597
00:20:22,877 --> 00:20:25,505
Do you like it?
Do you like it, Scott?
598
00:20:25,630 --> 00:20:28,341
I call it
"Mr. and Mrs. Tenorman chili."
599
00:20:31,886 --> 00:20:34,889
Oh my God!
600
00:20:35,015 --> 00:20:36,600
Oh my God!
601
00:20:38,310 --> 00:20:39,704
♪ Nyah, nyah, nyah,
nyah, nyah, nyah ♪
602
00:20:39,728 --> 00:20:41,229
♪ I made you
eat your parents ♪
603
00:20:41,354 --> 00:20:42,790
♪ Nyah, nyah, nyah,
nyah, nyah, nyah ♪
604
00:20:42,814 --> 00:20:45,150
Jesus Christ, dude!
605
00:20:45,275 --> 00:20:47,277
My mom and dad
are dead!
606
00:20:47,402 --> 00:20:49,738
No, no!
607
00:20:49,863 --> 00:20:51,239
Uh, excuse me.
608
00:20:51,364 --> 00:20:52,449
Who are you?
609
00:20:52,574 --> 00:20:54,326
We're that band,
Radiohead.
610
00:20:54,451 --> 00:20:56,202
Jeez, what a little crybaby.
611
00:20:56,328 --> 00:20:58,622
You gonna cry all day,
crybaby?
612
00:20:58,747 --> 00:21:00,415
You know,
everyone has problems.
613
00:21:00,540 --> 00:21:02,435
It doesn't mean you have to be
a little crybaby about it.
614
00:21:02,459 --> 00:21:03,627
Come on, guys,
let's go.
615
00:21:03,752 --> 00:21:05,503
This kid
is totally not cool.
616
00:21:05,629 --> 00:21:07,797
Yeah, that's the most
uncool kid I've ever met.
617
00:21:07,922 --> 00:21:10,216
Little crybaby.
618
00:21:10,342 --> 00:21:11,926
No, wait!
619
00:21:12,052 --> 00:21:13,386
Wait!
620
00:21:13,511 --> 00:21:16,473
Oh, my God!
Oh, my God!
621
00:21:16,598 --> 00:21:19,017
Yes! Yes!
622
00:21:19,142 --> 00:21:21,394
Oh, let me taste
your tears, Scott.
623
00:21:21,519 --> 00:21:23,605
Mmm, your tears
are so yummy and sweet.
624
00:21:23,730 --> 00:21:25,170
Dude, I think
it might be best for us
625
00:21:25,273 --> 00:21:26,459
to never piss
Cartman off again.
626
00:21:26,483 --> 00:21:27,525
Good call.
627
00:21:27,651 --> 00:21:30,153
Oh, the tears
of unfathomable sadness.
628
00:21:30,278 --> 00:21:33,156
Mmm, yummy.
Yummy, you guys.
629
00:21:33,281 --> 00:21:34,741
Yibbidy-bip--
that's all, folks!
45000
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