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1
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♪
2
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Am I the only one who thinks
it's weird that a strange circus
3
00:00:14,587 --> 00:00:16,248
just appeared out of nowhere?
4
00:00:16,324 --> 00:00:19,325
Oh, come on, Lisa.
You love circuseses.
5
00:00:19,327 --> 00:00:20,545
I hate them.
6
00:00:20,570 --> 00:00:22,570
I've literally gotten
three shut down
7
00:00:22,648 --> 00:00:24,165
just in the past year.
8
00:00:24,190 --> 00:00:27,317
Yes, but this one's
only exploiting people.
9
00:00:27,319 --> 00:00:29,312
I want to see the dog-faced man.
10
00:00:29,337 --> 00:00:31,044
And the man-faced dog.
11
00:00:31,069 --> 00:00:32,972
Who walks who?
12
00:00:33,472 --> 00:00:35,492
Mom, surely you're not--
13
00:00:35,494 --> 00:00:38,344
Step right up and see
Pint-Sized Hercules,
14
00:00:38,369 --> 00:00:40,422
the world's strongest boy.
15
00:00:40,983 --> 00:00:44,094
He's got
tiny little abs.
16
00:00:46,632 --> 00:00:49,172
I'm sorry, but you're fired.
17
00:00:49,174 --> 00:00:52,040
Times have changed. You're just
not the draw you used to be.
18
00:00:52,065 --> 00:00:54,678
You're got fewer tattoos
than the average chef.
19
00:00:54,748 --> 00:00:56,581
Uh, yes, but mine are--
20
00:00:56,606 --> 00:00:58,961
Mystical portals
to an alternate reality.
21
00:00:58,986 --> 00:01:00,850
Look, if kids want
mystical portals,
22
00:01:00,852 --> 00:01:02,349
they'll look at their phones.
23
00:01:02,374 --> 00:01:05,067
Hand over your freak badge
and your tattoo gun.
24
00:01:11,098 --> 00:01:12,453
Excuse me.
25
00:01:12,491 --> 00:01:14,824
How much to see
the Illustrated Man?
26
00:01:14,866 --> 00:01:17,142
Forget it, kid. I'm retired.
27
00:01:17,261 --> 00:01:18,538
Okay, best of luck to you.
28
00:01:18,563 --> 00:01:20,241
Oh, you don't give up,
do you?
29
00:01:20,277 --> 00:01:21,943
All right, have a seat.
30
00:01:23,189 --> 00:01:26,414
If you stare at one
of my tattoos long enough,
31
00:01:26,439 --> 00:01:28,302
it tells a story...
32
00:01:28,327 --> 00:01:31,594
strange and unusual.
33
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How long does it take?
34
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It's a miracle!
Give it two seconds.
35
00:01:37,072 --> 00:01:40,056
Strange and unusual.
36
00:01:50,479 --> 00:01:51,733
What the...?
37
00:01:54,570 --> 00:01:56,515
Hello? Lady?
38
00:01:56,669 --> 00:01:58,410
Is someone down there?
39
00:02:00,413 --> 00:02:02,806
Aw, gee whiz,
she's buried alive.
40
00:02:04,762 --> 00:02:07,190
Hang in there, lady.
I'll get help.
41
00:02:08,946 --> 00:02:11,646
Mom, Dad, there's
a screaming woman in the woods,
42
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and she's buried alive.
43
00:02:13,091 --> 00:02:14,417
We got to dig her out.
44
00:02:14,442 --> 00:02:16,475
Calm down, noisy pants.
45
00:02:16,500 --> 00:02:19,854
You know your father only has
a two-hour lunch break.
46
00:02:20,017 --> 00:02:22,228
But she's screaming for help.
47
00:02:22,253 --> 00:02:23,730
Speaking of screaming women,
48
00:02:23,791 --> 00:02:26,119
I heard that Luann Van Houten
49
00:02:26,195 --> 00:02:28,285
got into a row with Miss Hoover
50
00:02:28,310 --> 00:02:31,562
for telling everyone
that Luann dyes her hair.
51
00:02:31,587 --> 00:02:32,776
She's got enough trouble
52
00:02:32,778 --> 00:02:35,145
married to a dead-end dipstick
like Kirk.
53
00:02:35,170 --> 00:02:37,943
Stop gossiping, sir and ma'am.
The lady's gonna run out of air.
54
00:02:37,968 --> 00:02:40,789
I used to work with that loser
at Double Beef Burger.
55
00:02:40,835 --> 00:02:43,464
They play their jingle
all day long.
56
00:02:43,511 --> 00:02:45,083
Now, how did that go?
57
00:02:45,481 --> 00:02:47,391
Who cares about burger jingles?
58
00:02:47,416 --> 00:02:49,125
She's gonna die!
59
00:02:49,127 --> 00:02:53,238
I think we all know this is
another one of your famous fibs.
60
00:02:53,391 --> 00:02:54,860
Yeah, like that time you said
61
00:02:54,885 --> 00:02:56,741
there was a boy in the woods
crying wolf,
62
00:02:56,766 --> 00:02:59,083
and when we got there,
there was no boy at all.
63
00:02:59,108 --> 00:03:00,509
Just a fat wolf.
64
00:03:04,145 --> 00:03:06,321
Oh, come on. Pick up, pick up.
65
00:03:12,731 --> 00:03:14,099
Milhouse, what are you doing?
66
00:03:14,183 --> 00:03:16,243
Just playing a game on my phone.
67
00:03:16,321 --> 00:03:17,874
Listen to me,
there's a screaming woman
68
00:03:17,899 --> 00:03:20,240
buried in the woods, and I need
your help digging her up.
69
00:03:20,265 --> 00:03:21,690
No can do, Bart.
70
00:03:21,715 --> 00:03:23,048
I'm at my grandma's.
71
00:03:23,086 --> 00:03:24,644
Had my calls forwarded.
72
00:03:24,669 --> 00:03:26,754
I won't be back
for another three days.
73
00:03:26,756 --> 00:03:29,580
We can play the
screaming woman game then.
74
00:03:29,713 --> 00:03:31,358
It's not a game!
75
00:03:32,196 --> 00:03:35,113
Ugh. I lost all my high scores.
76
00:03:37,756 --> 00:03:40,695
All right, I'll just check
every house in the neighborhood
77
00:03:40,720 --> 00:03:43,956
until I find the one
that's missing a lady.
78
00:03:52,619 --> 00:03:54,285
Oh, hi, Mrs. Van Houten.
79
00:03:54,310 --> 00:03:56,028
Never mind.
Glad you're not in a hole.
80
00:03:56,053 --> 00:03:57,649
Is something the matter, Bart?
81
00:03:57,674 --> 00:03:59,476
There's a screaming woman
buried in the woods,
82
00:03:59,501 --> 00:04:01,094
but everyone thinks I'm lying.
83
00:04:01,119 --> 00:04:04,177
A screaming woman?
That does sound serious.
84
00:04:04,202 --> 00:04:05,267
You believe me?
85
00:04:05,292 --> 00:04:07,875
Of course. Why not come inside
86
00:04:07,900 --> 00:04:10,509
and tell me more
over a nice glass of milk?
87
00:04:11,137 --> 00:04:12,485
Thanks, but we should hurry.
88
00:04:12,510 --> 00:04:14,065
I don't think
she has much time left.
89
00:04:15,739 --> 00:04:18,650
Time enough for
one more glass of milk, I bet.
90
00:04:18,712 --> 00:04:21,179
I shouldn't.
Milk makes me sleepy.
91
00:04:23,221 --> 00:04:25,070
Milhouse should be home soon.
92
00:04:25,095 --> 00:04:27,385
Uh, he's with
his hula hoop tutor.
93
00:04:27,410 --> 00:04:29,694
I thought he was
at his grandmother's?
94
00:04:30,091 --> 00:04:32,465
Whatever gave you that idea?
95
00:04:35,400 --> 00:04:36,758
Bottoms up.
96
00:04:40,329 --> 00:04:43,095
Now, you must be ready
for a nap.
97
00:04:43,209 --> 00:04:46,443
No... I have to save...
98
00:04:46,963 --> 00:04:48,863
...the lady.
99
00:04:50,023 --> 00:04:51,676
Nighty-night.
100
00:04:52,484 --> 00:04:54,259
Must stay awake.
101
00:05:05,063 --> 00:05:07,396
Lady!
Are you still alive down there?
102
00:05:07,421 --> 00:05:09,500
Give me a sign, please.
103
00:05:09,578 --> 00:05:11,842
You can't be dead. You can't.
104
00:05:12,014 --> 00:05:14,431
I'm sorry, lady. I tried.
105
00:05:14,494 --> 00:05:17,477
The one time I'm not lying
to make other people look stupid
106
00:05:17,502 --> 00:05:20,245
for believing me,
and no one will believe me.
107
00:05:20,270 --> 00:05:22,498
♪ The beefiest beef eats other beef... ♪
108
00:05:22,523 --> 00:05:25,206
Wait, are you...
singing?
109
00:05:25,606 --> 00:05:28,498
♪ The beefiest beef eats other beef ♪
110
00:05:28,539 --> 00:05:31,176
♪ Double Beef Burgers' beef-fed beef. ♪
111
00:05:31,201 --> 00:05:33,256
You just sang
our old burger jingle.
112
00:05:33,334 --> 00:05:35,589
How could you possibly know it?
113
00:05:35,614 --> 00:05:37,964
Because the screaming woman
just sang it to me.
114
00:05:38,370 --> 00:05:40,628
That's no screaming woman...
115
00:05:40,807 --> 00:05:42,845
..it's a screaming Kirk.
116
00:05:42,914 --> 00:05:45,236
I was wondering when you were
gonna finish that thought.
117
00:05:48,868 --> 00:05:51,282
Oh, thank you, Bart.
Oh, you saved me.
118
00:05:51,340 --> 00:05:53,124
Is this the woman
who buried you?
119
00:05:53,149 --> 00:05:56,119
He let Miss Hoover see him
buying my hair dye.
120
00:05:56,144 --> 00:05:58,978
The shame.
What choice did I have?
121
00:05:59,048 --> 00:06:01,608
Uh, she's got a point.
Here in the 1950s,
122
00:06:01,634 --> 00:06:04,258
murder is much more
socially acceptable
123
00:06:04,283 --> 00:06:06,038
than, uh, you know, divorce.
124
00:06:06,251 --> 00:06:09,068
-You're free to go.
-A-Are you mad at me?
125
00:06:09,294 --> 00:06:11,366
Kind of seem like
you're mad at me.
126
00:06:11,391 --> 00:06:14,873
Oh, honey,
we'll never doubt you again.
127
00:06:14,978 --> 00:06:16,327
Really?
128
00:06:16,459 --> 00:06:17,926
Lisa's a communist.
129
00:06:18,025 --> 00:06:20,100
Mm. Take her away, Chief.
130
00:06:25,259 --> 00:06:27,926
Wow, your tattoos
really are magic.
131
00:06:28,004 --> 00:06:29,457
What's that one about?
132
00:06:29,512 --> 00:06:31,714
Uh, that one tells a story
of a brief period
133
00:06:31,716 --> 00:06:33,640
where I was very into
the band Sublime.
134
00:06:33,718 --> 00:06:35,816
This one does something.
135
00:06:39,165 --> 00:06:41,796
Item 22 on the agenda,
136
00:06:41,852 --> 00:06:43,627
preparations for flag day.
137
00:06:43,705 --> 00:06:45,038
Yeah, it's seven months away.
138
00:06:45,155 --> 00:06:47,155
And we are woefully behind.
139
00:06:47,180 --> 00:06:50,082
I'd like to get your opinion
on some bunting samples.
140
00:06:50,341 --> 00:06:51,734
Oh, kill me.
141
00:06:51,849 --> 00:06:55,015
Now, uh, the price per yard
on this one is a bit high,
142
00:06:55,040 --> 00:06:57,925
but the drape will make it
the comeliest thing on a pole
143
00:06:57,950 --> 00:06:59,638
you've ever seen.
144
00:07:00,083 --> 00:07:01,761
You know
you're a tragic figure?
145
00:07:01,837 --> 00:07:04,267
Like Hamlet if he was boring
and a principal
146
00:07:04,362 --> 00:07:06,095
and a-- and an idiot.
147
00:07:15,461 --> 00:07:17,516
Another Gallo, barkeep.
148
00:07:17,969 --> 00:07:20,279
Uh-uh, leave the box.
149
00:07:20,678 --> 00:07:22,556
Hey, pal. You don't look like
the kind of guy
150
00:07:22,581 --> 00:07:24,482
who drinks alone
just for the fun of it.
151
00:07:24,507 --> 00:07:25,592
What's eating at you?
152
00:07:25,617 --> 00:07:28,362
Have you ever been forced
to spend all of your time
153
00:07:28,416 --> 00:07:30,513
with someone
whose very existence
154
00:07:30,538 --> 00:07:33,382
just sucks the will to live
right out of you?
155
00:07:35,338 --> 00:07:37,840
What if I told you
today's modern science
156
00:07:37,873 --> 00:07:40,283
has a solution
to that very problem?
157
00:07:40,386 --> 00:07:41,660
Come with me.
158
00:07:44,510 --> 00:07:47,127
How is this possible?
He-he looks just like you.
159
00:07:47,182 --> 00:07:48,636
Not he, it.
160
00:07:48,706 --> 00:07:51,034
It's an exact robot replica
of me.
161
00:07:51,105 --> 00:07:53,410
A very hush-hush new technology.
162
00:07:55,025 --> 00:07:56,354
How do they work?
163
00:07:56,379 --> 00:07:59,109
They're full of gears.
Hundreds of 'em.
164
00:07:59,134 --> 00:08:02,484
Gears, of course, but you made
a mechanical doppelganger
165
00:08:02,509 --> 00:08:05,719
of yourself just to hang out
with your best friend?
166
00:08:05,774 --> 00:08:08,813
Uh, well, Lenny's really into
jigsaw puzzles,
167
00:08:08,875 --> 00:08:10,211
and I am not.
168
00:08:10,481 --> 00:08:12,147
So, whenever he breaks one out,
169
00:08:12,172 --> 00:08:14,135
I send in Robot Carl.
170
00:08:14,321 --> 00:08:17,814
Call that number
and start living your best life.
171
00:08:21,719 --> 00:08:24,715
My, my, you are quite the me.
172
00:08:24,740 --> 00:08:27,381
Now, h-how does one
power you up?
173
00:08:27,451 --> 00:08:30,317
Well, I do enjoy a good
cup of coffee in the morning.
174
00:08:30,395 --> 00:08:33,441
Oh, as do I. Nature's
pipe cleaner, I call it.
175
00:08:33,566 --> 00:08:35,566
But you would know that,
uh, being me,
176
00:08:35,591 --> 00:08:37,726
only in robot form, of course.
177
00:08:37,751 --> 00:08:41,401
Yes, quite. A-And you
the human me, as it were.
178
00:08:41,426 --> 00:08:43,423
-Indeed. Yes.
-Very good.
179
00:08:43,448 --> 00:08:45,425
-Well, there you have it.
-Have it, we do.
180
00:08:45,450 --> 00:08:46,654
So, how can I help?
181
00:08:46,679 --> 00:08:49,086
I like a man who gets
right to the point.
182
00:08:49,204 --> 00:08:50,370
I know you do.
183
00:08:50,398 --> 00:08:51,456
Ah, yes, you would.
184
00:08:51,481 --> 00:08:52,866
Well, eh, shall we?
185
00:08:52,891 --> 00:08:54,657
Lead the way.
186
00:09:01,751 --> 00:09:03,788
Have a good day, Superintendent.
187
00:09:03,813 --> 00:09:05,851
Don't do anything I wouldn't do.
188
00:09:05,916 --> 00:09:08,600
I don't think my programming
would allow it.
189
00:09:15,413 --> 00:09:18,590
What are you doing here? I...
I just saw you at the school.
190
00:09:27,431 --> 00:09:30,190
How...
how are there two of you?
191
00:09:31,194 --> 00:09:32,921
I ordered a robot me
192
00:09:32,946 --> 00:09:35,144
so I wouldn't have to be
around you anymore.
193
00:09:35,169 --> 00:09:37,660
What?
You don't Robot-Skinner me,
194
00:09:37,685 --> 00:09:39,639
I Robot-Chalmers you.
195
00:09:39,664 --> 00:09:41,330
You're the annoying one.
196
00:09:41,355 --> 00:09:42,944
And you're the mean one.
197
00:09:43,036 --> 00:09:44,827
Oh, you'd yell your name at you
198
00:09:44,852 --> 00:09:46,852
if you had to deal
with you, too.
199
00:09:46,877 --> 00:09:50,041
I would find myself
highly tolerable.
200
00:09:50,138 --> 00:09:52,594
Guy from the bar that night,
thank God I found you.
201
00:09:52,664 --> 00:09:55,519
You got to destroy that robot
before it's too late.
202
00:09:55,544 --> 00:09:56,888
What's wrong with the robots?
203
00:09:56,913 --> 00:09:57,978
I don't know what happened.
204
00:09:57,980 --> 00:09:59,571
Something with the gears, maybe.
205
00:09:59,596 --> 00:10:01,371
Good God.
206
00:10:01,646 --> 00:10:03,963
Robot Carl started thinking
for himself,
207
00:10:03,988 --> 00:10:05,821
and it wasn't pretty.
208
00:10:05,896 --> 00:10:08,607
Last night, the robot tells me he planned a trip
209
00:10:08,632 --> 00:10:10,349
to Niagara Falls for him and Lenny.
210
00:10:10,409 --> 00:10:11,759
Well, that sounds like fun,
211
00:10:11,784 --> 00:10:15,745
so I says, "I'm going because I'm the real Carl."
212
00:10:15,836 --> 00:10:18,078
And then he starts crying,
213
00:10:18,103 --> 00:10:19,841
which they ain't supposed to do.
214
00:10:19,866 --> 00:10:21,739
But when I tried to shove him in his crate,
215
00:10:21,772 --> 00:10:23,447
that wind-up dingus fought back
216
00:10:23,472 --> 00:10:25,163
with robot super strength.
217
00:10:25,199 --> 00:10:27,248
So I did the only thing I could.
218
00:10:30,305 --> 00:10:31,462
You got to act fast.
219
00:10:31,487 --> 00:10:33,805
Once the robots
start feeling emotions,
220
00:10:33,830 --> 00:10:35,959
there's no telling
what could happen.
221
00:10:38,909 --> 00:10:41,507
Uh, children, we have
recently become aware
222
00:10:41,532 --> 00:10:43,882
of an extraordinary
human concept.
223
00:10:43,959 --> 00:10:45,583
It's called friendship.
224
00:10:45,747 --> 00:10:47,771
Dear God, emotions.
225
00:10:47,796 --> 00:10:49,085
We're too late.
226
00:10:49,187 --> 00:10:51,283
In order to promote
friend-making,
227
00:10:51,308 --> 00:10:53,633
students are encouraged
to call their teachers
228
00:10:53,658 --> 00:10:55,558
by their first names.
229
00:10:55,650 --> 00:10:56,872
First-name-calling?
230
00:10:56,897 --> 00:10:58,207
No, that can only lead to
231
00:10:58,232 --> 00:10:59,973
the breakdown
of the social order.
232
00:10:59,992 --> 00:11:01,573
Wanton high-fiving.
233
00:11:01,598 --> 00:11:03,760
T-shirts worn as real shirts.
234
00:11:03,829 --> 00:11:05,979
Well, let's give it a try,
shall we?
235
00:11:05,998 --> 00:11:08,161
Hello, Seymour.
236
00:11:08,286 --> 00:11:09,649
Howdy, Gary--
237
00:11:16,509 --> 00:11:19,343
You like feelings, huh?
How does my fist feel?
238
00:11:28,926 --> 00:11:31,658
Go back to hell,
you bionic bastard.
239
00:11:35,525 --> 00:11:38,295
This is the best assembly ever!
240
00:11:39,040 --> 00:11:41,256
Don't shoot!
I'm the real Chalmers.
241
00:11:41,328 --> 00:11:42,950
He's lying. Shoot him.
242
00:11:42,975 --> 00:11:44,276
Shoot the one on the left.
243
00:11:44,352 --> 00:11:45,703
-Right.
-Left. -Right.
244
00:11:45,728 --> 00:11:47,660
-Left.
-Right. -Left. -Right. -Left.
245
00:11:47,685 --> 00:11:50,822
Shoot 'em both.
It's the only way to be sure.
246
00:11:52,769 --> 00:11:55,307
Look, look, we were wrong
to play God.
247
00:11:55,369 --> 00:11:58,170
But if there's anything
I have learned from all of this,
248
00:11:58,200 --> 00:12:00,551
other than don't make
robots of yourself,
249
00:12:00,576 --> 00:12:02,218
it's that I could afford
250
00:12:02,313 --> 00:12:04,492
to be a little bit nicer
to you, Seymour.
251
00:12:06,467 --> 00:12:07,998
Skinner!
252
00:12:08,023 --> 00:12:10,020
He's obviously the robot!
253
00:12:10,045 --> 00:12:12,917
Shoot him!
God, you're an idiot!
254
00:12:13,018 --> 00:12:16,400
I know the real Chalmers
when I hear him.
255
00:12:20,930 --> 00:12:22,464
No!
256
00:12:26,306 --> 00:12:27,871
I forgive you, Seymour.
257
00:12:27,896 --> 00:12:29,154
I know that you'll...
258
00:12:29,300 --> 00:12:31,133
you'll plan a wonderful...
259
00:12:31,158 --> 00:12:34,168
flag day...
260
00:12:37,982 --> 00:12:40,309
Um, I couldn't help but notice
261
00:12:40,334 --> 00:12:43,752
some lovely bunting samples
in your office.
262
00:12:43,777 --> 00:12:45,417
Perhaps you could, uh...
263
00:12:45,535 --> 00:12:47,385
walk me through them?
264
00:12:48,409 --> 00:12:50,646
I'd like that, Gary.
265
00:12:56,269 --> 00:12:59,136
-Well, it's 9:00, so...
-Please don't go.
266
00:12:59,161 --> 00:13:01,761
Let me spin just one more tale
267
00:13:01,839 --> 00:13:04,209
of the strange and fantastical.
268
00:13:04,358 --> 00:13:07,677
Cast your gaze,
just above my hernia scar,
269
00:13:07,702 --> 00:13:11,346
and travel to a chillingly
plausible future.
270
00:13:12,557 --> 00:13:13,860
Firemen.
271
00:13:14,340 --> 00:13:15,483
We have a report
272
00:13:15,508 --> 00:13:17,533
of subversive content
in this house.
273
00:13:25,550 --> 00:13:29,047
Step away from
the lowbrow entertainment.
274
00:13:29,072 --> 00:13:31,250
I'm sorry,
I was just curious.
275
00:13:31,275 --> 00:13:32,511
It won't happen again.
276
00:13:32,536 --> 00:13:33,626
Yeah...
277
00:13:33,680 --> 00:13:36,488
Not after a little
reeducation, it won't.
278
00:13:46,508 --> 00:13:49,404
Homer, hurry, the new episode
of Robber Barons
279
00:13:49,429 --> 00:13:50,860
is about to start.
280
00:13:50,885 --> 00:13:54,725
The very idea, an elevated train under the ground?
281
00:13:54,788 --> 00:13:58,121
I require no crystal ball
to see that your invention
282
00:13:58,146 --> 00:14:01,681
will never work,
Mr. Thaddeus Subway.
283
00:14:01,950 --> 00:14:03,765
Who's that guy
with the mustache?
284
00:14:03,829 --> 00:14:05,843
Who's that other mustache?
285
00:14:05,919 --> 00:14:08,441
It's so dark.
Can we brighten it?
286
00:14:08,504 --> 00:14:10,831
This is how the director
meant for us to watch it.
287
00:14:10,856 --> 00:14:14,323
Our squinting
reinforces the themes.
288
00:14:20,434 --> 00:14:23,220
It's got to be
almost over, right?
289
00:14:23,245 --> 00:14:25,671
This is still the recap
from last week.
290
00:14:26,983 --> 00:14:29,272
Homer, it's our civic duty
291
00:14:29,297 --> 00:14:33,302
to watch the most densely
plotted television we can.
292
00:14:33,344 --> 00:14:36,845
That's why lowbrow entertainment
was outlawed.
293
00:14:39,843 --> 00:14:41,998
Hey, guys, great job
on that last raid.
294
00:14:42,030 --> 00:14:45,542
We took out 32 seasons of
Diners, Drive-Ins and Dives,
295
00:14:45,567 --> 00:14:48,388
and the last known episode
of Last Man Standing.
296
00:14:48,497 --> 00:14:50,161
Have you guys ever...
297
00:14:50,186 --> 00:14:52,852
watched any of that
lowbrow stuff we burn?
298
00:14:52,944 --> 00:14:55,194
Uh, illegal much?
299
00:14:55,936 --> 00:14:58,929
All right, let's go start fires
instead of putting 'em out.
300
00:14:59,030 --> 00:15:00,257
Up we go!
301
00:15:10,124 --> 00:15:11,866
Fire Department!
302
00:15:19,704 --> 00:15:22,677
I thought goat was
going to eat carrot,
303
00:15:22,866 --> 00:15:25,700
but goat chomped farmer
in the junk!
304
00:15:30,942 --> 00:15:32,540
Don't burn it, lad.
305
00:15:32,653 --> 00:15:34,120
You like what you see?
306
00:15:35,467 --> 00:15:38,552
Take it, watch it. Find us.
307
00:15:48,935 --> 00:15:51,602
Did you all read
Alan Sepinwall III's
308
00:15:51,627 --> 00:15:54,151
recap of the season finale
of The Hapsburgs?
309
00:15:54,176 --> 00:15:56,418
-Oh, yes, absolutely.
-Oh, yeah. Yeah, yeah.
310
00:15:56,457 --> 00:16:01,033
Do you guys ever wish
TV could be dumb and fun?
311
00:16:04,123 --> 00:16:07,664
So when you watch it,
you just laugh?
312
00:16:09,287 --> 00:16:12,822
Thank you for
a lovely evening, Marge.
313
00:16:29,235 --> 00:16:32,037
Dad?
What were you watching?
314
00:16:33,199 --> 00:16:35,130
Son, you're the one person
in this family
315
00:16:35,155 --> 00:16:36,810
that might understand this.
316
00:16:36,889 --> 00:16:41,280
It's possible we've been
wrong about everything.
317
00:16:44,362 --> 00:16:46,533
The dog that sneezed
in the baby's face,
318
00:16:46,558 --> 00:16:48,020
what's his backstory?
319
00:16:48,022 --> 00:16:50,745
There's no backstory.
It just is.
320
00:16:50,770 --> 00:16:54,173
Which is its own kind
of innovative narrative?
321
00:16:54,222 --> 00:16:56,072
No, no narrative!
322
00:16:57,115 --> 00:16:58,364
Forget it.
323
00:16:58,677 --> 00:17:02,951
Please, son, just don't
tell anyone about this.
324
00:17:03,164 --> 00:17:04,913
I trust you.
325
00:17:07,133 --> 00:17:09,647
Reports of lowbrow contraband!
326
00:17:09,672 --> 00:17:12,205
Why, son?
Why did you betray me?
327
00:17:12,230 --> 00:17:14,155
I trusted you!
328
00:17:15,215 --> 00:17:16,869
Merch.
329
00:17:19,939 --> 00:17:22,210
Burn-master General
Siegfried Blaze!
330
00:17:22,249 --> 00:17:24,395
Homer,
you disappoint me.
331
00:17:24,420 --> 00:17:27,832
Don't you see that we set fires
for the good of humanity?
332
00:17:27,886 --> 00:17:30,068
We learned long ago
that entertainment
333
00:17:30,093 --> 00:17:33,559
must fully occupy the
consciousness of the population.
334
00:17:33,584 --> 00:17:37,320
You're using quality TV
to control us.
335
00:17:37,437 --> 00:17:41,335
Yes, these challenging shows
are the perfect distraction
336
00:17:41,360 --> 00:17:44,652
from how dystopian
our dystopia is.
337
00:17:44,778 --> 00:17:46,220
You monster!
338
00:17:46,428 --> 00:17:47,569
Am I?
339
00:17:47,608 --> 00:17:49,773
Do you know what
entertainment was like
340
00:17:49,798 --> 00:17:51,389
in the before-times?
341
00:17:51,419 --> 00:17:54,802
Comfort shows you could
just put on in any order
342
00:17:54,827 --> 00:17:56,998
while you looked at your phone.
343
00:17:57,061 --> 00:17:58,899
Oh, that sounds like heaven.
344
00:17:58,924 --> 00:18:00,786
Don't worry,
a little reeducation
345
00:18:00,811 --> 00:18:02,115
and you'll be as good as new.
346
00:18:02,140 --> 00:18:04,459
Strap him
to the viewing chamber
347
00:18:04,484 --> 00:18:06,875
for four seasons of...
348
00:18:06,909 --> 00:18:08,926
Mozart in the Jungle.
349
00:18:10,761 --> 00:18:11,774
I...
350
00:18:11,799 --> 00:18:12,829
choose...
351
00:18:12,854 --> 00:18:14,779
crap!
352
00:18:19,271 --> 00:18:21,084
Barney, I can't explain,
353
00:18:21,154 --> 00:18:23,238
but I need to switch clothes
with you.
354
00:18:23,278 --> 00:18:24,761
What fun!
355
00:18:32,328 --> 00:18:33,737
Threat neutralized.
356
00:18:38,450 --> 00:18:40,378
The symbol from the tape.
357
00:18:43,649 --> 00:18:46,041
Please, let me in.
358
00:18:46,129 --> 00:18:50,068
I just want to watch something
that isn't very good.
359
00:18:50,702 --> 00:18:51,735
Yoink!
360
00:18:52,446 --> 00:18:54,939
They said there were others
like me.
361
00:19:07,464 --> 00:19:08,990
Lowbrow...
362
00:19:10,428 --> 00:19:13,295
Hey, hey.
363
00:19:14,124 --> 00:19:17,030
This is all that remains
of the old civilization.
364
00:19:17,055 --> 00:19:20,076
Singing contests.
Real Housewives.
365
00:19:20,101 --> 00:19:21,695
The Golden Bachelor.
366
00:19:21,720 --> 00:19:24,008
All yours to enjoy.
367
00:19:24,537 --> 00:19:28,281
I never dreamed there was
this much nothing.
368
00:19:31,168 --> 00:19:34,403
Thank you, Homer,
for leading us here.
369
00:19:41,874 --> 00:19:44,728
Hey, isn't that the guy
who created Breaking Bad?
370
00:19:44,753 --> 00:19:47,570
Vince Gilligan? Where?
371
00:19:48,128 --> 00:19:49,475
Let them go.
372
00:19:49,553 --> 00:19:51,554
They have no garbage
left to watch.
373
00:19:52,347 --> 00:19:54,501
Some say the world is destined to drown
374
00:19:54,526 --> 00:19:56,634
in an ocean of prestige television.
375
00:19:56,946 --> 00:19:58,395
But so long as we tell the tales
376
00:19:58,397 --> 00:20:01,600
of singers masked and Kardashians kept up with,
377
00:20:01,796 --> 00:20:03,975
garbage will live forever.
378
00:20:04,367 --> 00:20:06,908
And then Sheldon said,
379
00:20:07,147 --> 00:20:08,589
"Bazinga."
380
00:20:08,747 --> 00:20:11,375
So in the end,
the only rules that mattered
381
00:20:11,400 --> 00:20:13,134
were the Vanderpump rules.
382
00:20:13,436 --> 00:20:14,936
That night, my friends,
383
00:20:15,003 --> 00:20:18,439
the funniest home video
in all of America
384
00:20:18,590 --> 00:20:20,107
was deemed to be
385
00:20:20,230 --> 00:20:23,804
"Squirrel Falls
in Grandma's Soup."
386
00:20:35,162 --> 00:20:37,550
Wow, those stories are amazing.
387
00:20:37,575 --> 00:20:39,736
But I guess I should be
leaving this...
388
00:20:39,761 --> 00:20:42,503
strange, featureless void?
389
00:20:42,778 --> 00:20:45,237
What happened? Where am I?
390
00:20:45,262 --> 00:20:49,920
You were kind enough to listen
to the required stories three.
391
00:20:49,945 --> 00:20:54,083
And this is your eternal reward.
392
00:20:54,160 --> 00:20:55,636
No! Get me out of here!
393
00:20:55,661 --> 00:20:57,794
I don't want to be
a living tattoo!
394
00:20:57,819 --> 00:20:59,986
Eh, don't worry,
you'll make friends in no time.
395
00:21:00,552 --> 00:21:01,573
Hi.
396
00:21:01,626 --> 00:21:04,553
♪ I don't practice Santeria ♪
397
00:21:04,578 --> 00:21:07,004
♪ I ain't got no crystal ball... ♪
398
00:21:07,006 --> 00:21:10,099
Ugh. NO!
399
00:21:10,176 --> 00:21:11,250
♪ But I ♪
400
00:21:11,327 --> 00:21:13,252
♪ I'd spend it all ♪
401
00:21:13,329 --> 00:21:15,438
♪ If I could find that jaina ♪
402
00:21:15,463 --> 00:21:18,165
♪ And that Sancho that she found ♪
403
00:21:18,167 --> 00:21:20,777
♪ Well, I'd pop a cap in Sancho ♪
404
00:21:20,779 --> 00:21:24,744
♪ And I'd slap her down ♪
405
00:21:24,769 --> 00:21:27,437
♪ What I really want to know ♪
406
00:21:27,679 --> 00:21:29,176
♪ Ah, baby. ♪
407
00:21:30,037 --> 00:21:31,440
Shh!
408
00:21:31,924 --> 00:21:33,924
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