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Downloaded from
YTS.MX
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♪
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Official YIFY movies site:
YTS.MX
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♪
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♪
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Welcome to CPI Consumer Affairs,
my name is Erica.
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Which one of our
fabulous products
16
00:02:32,500 --> 00:02:34,154
are you calling about today?
17
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I just, I just opened up a can
of your tomato soup and there is
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00:02:36,895 --> 00:02:41,248
a big fat rat turd right
in the middle of the soup.
19
00:02:41,378 --> 00:02:43,075
Well, I am very sorry
to hear that sir,
20
00:02:43,206 --> 00:02:45,295
I can help you with that today
but first, I just need to
21
00:02:45,426 --> 00:02:47,036
verify a few things.
22
00:02:47,167 --> 00:02:49,343
First of all, are you sure the
foreign particle in question
23
00:02:49,473 --> 00:02:51,606
is a rat dropping?
24
00:02:51,736 --> 00:02:53,564
While rare, sometimes bits
of meat can contaminate
25
00:02:53,695 --> 00:02:55,218
our vegetarian soup products.
26
00:02:55,349 --> 00:02:57,612
It's a rat turd. Okay?
27
00:02:57,742 --> 00:02:59,266
Do you want me to
send it to you?
28
00:02:59,396 --> 00:03:01,311
Do you want to taste it and
see if it's a stray piece
29
00:03:01,442 --> 00:03:03,792
of prime rib, or do you want
to go ahead and trust me
30
00:03:03,922 --> 00:03:06,490
that there is in fact
a piece of rodent shit
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00:03:06,621 --> 00:03:08,710
in the middle of my soup?
32
00:03:08,840 --> 00:03:10,625
That won't be necessary, sir.
33
00:03:10,755 --> 00:03:12,714
There is no need to preserve
the can in question,
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00:03:12,844 --> 00:03:15,107
you can go ahead and dispose of
it and I can send you a coupon
35
00:03:15,238 --> 00:03:16,892
for a free replacement
can of soup.
36
00:03:17,022 --> 00:03:18,110
How does that sound?
37
00:03:18,241 --> 00:03:20,156
That sounds pretty
God damn weak!
38
00:03:20,287 --> 00:03:22,724
You know, rats caused
the plague, you know?
39
00:03:22,854 --> 00:03:24,073
I could sue you.
40
00:03:24,204 --> 00:03:26,510
I'm very sorry for
your inconvenience.
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00:03:26,641 --> 00:03:28,773
Because of your extreme
circumstances, I can offer you
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00:03:28,904 --> 00:03:32,299
a coupon for a dozen cans of
soup, one each month for a year.
43
00:03:32,429 --> 00:03:34,475
Would that be satisfactory?
44
00:03:34,605 --> 00:03:37,478
Yeah, I guess,
fine, whatever.
45
00:03:37,608 --> 00:03:39,001
Great.
46
00:03:39,131 --> 00:03:39,915
Let me just take down your
information and we can
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00:03:40,045 --> 00:03:41,917
get that right out to you.
48
00:03:42,047 --> 00:03:43,397
Please hold.
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00:03:43,527 --> 00:03:47,183
♪
50
00:03:47,314 --> 00:03:50,273
Yeah, I heard there's mercury
in these light bulbs.
51
00:03:50,404 --> 00:03:53,407
There is a trace amount of
mercury used in the manufacture
52
00:03:53,537 --> 00:03:55,060
of our compact
florescent bulbs,
53
00:03:55,191 --> 00:03:57,715
but there's no danger
to consumers.
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00:03:57,846 --> 00:03:59,804
Is your bulb damaged or broken?
55
00:03:59,935 --> 00:04:03,112
♪
56
00:04:03,243 --> 00:04:04,853
I don't think so.
57
00:04:04,983 --> 00:04:07,421
♪
58
00:04:07,551 --> 00:04:08,552
Which one of our
fabulous products
59
00:04:08,683 --> 00:04:10,032
are you calling about today?
60
00:04:10,162 --> 00:04:13,122
Yeah, hi, um, my, my popcorn
setting, it's, uh,
61
00:04:13,253 --> 00:04:15,124
it's still burning my popcorn.
62
00:04:15,255 --> 00:04:17,300
I can help you with that,
but first, I need to ask you
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00:04:17,431 --> 00:04:18,997
a few questions.
64
00:04:19,128 --> 00:04:23,480
Did you remove the popcorn
bag from the plastic wrapper?
65
00:04:23,611 --> 00:04:24,960
Oh...
66
00:04:25,090 --> 00:04:26,527
Um, let me call you back.
67
00:04:26,657 --> 00:04:29,399
Is the toilet bowl
cleaner safe for animals?
68
00:04:29,530 --> 00:04:31,227
Excuse me?
69
00:04:31,358 --> 00:04:33,577
My dog keeps drinking the blue
water and I think it might be
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00:04:33,708 --> 00:04:38,321
making him sick, he keeps
foaming at the mouth.
71
00:04:38,452 --> 00:04:41,106
How do I know if
the makeup is working?
72
00:04:41,237 --> 00:04:44,022
This pizza is not as
good as delivery pizza.
73
00:04:44,153 --> 00:04:47,635
How do I make my eyes pop?
74
00:04:47,765 --> 00:04:49,289
See, I'm having a little
situation with
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00:04:49,419 --> 00:04:51,073
your instant glue.
76
00:04:51,203 --> 00:04:55,686
This TV gets the same
channels as my old TV.
77
00:04:55,817 --> 00:04:57,819
What color goes on my T-zone?
78
00:04:57,949 --> 00:05:01,388
In my day, you could buy a whole
barrel of pickles for a nickel.
79
00:05:01,518 --> 00:05:05,392
It says layer to desired result.
80
00:05:05,522 --> 00:05:08,090
How do I know when I'm there?
81
00:05:08,220 --> 00:05:09,352
Which one of our
fabulous products
82
00:05:09,483 --> 00:05:10,614
are you calling
about today?
83
00:05:10,745 --> 00:05:11,833
I'm calling
about my crockpot.
84
00:05:11,963 --> 00:05:14,009
Pet Lovers
dry cat food mix.
85
00:05:14,139 --> 00:05:16,011
The 18 volt shop-vac.
86
00:05:16,141 --> 00:05:17,882
The Ready Made
Nachos pack.
87
00:05:18,013 --> 00:05:19,667
Mini pizza bagels.
88
00:05:19,797 --> 00:05:21,495
[speaking Spanish]
89
00:05:21,625 --> 00:05:23,105
Hemorrhoids cream.
90
00:05:23,235 --> 00:05:24,715
The DVD player.
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00:05:24,846 --> 00:05:26,108
The plant food.
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00:05:26,238 --> 00:05:28,284
I can help you with that.
93
00:05:28,415 --> 00:05:31,983
Yeah, um, I put the Blu-ray
disc in and nothing happens
94
00:05:32,114 --> 00:05:34,464
for like ten minutes
before it plays.
95
00:05:34,595 --> 00:05:36,771
CPI's Blu-ray players actually
have some of the best load times
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00:05:36,901 --> 00:05:39,817
in the industry but as Blu-ray's
a new technology, advances are
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00:05:39,948 --> 00:05:42,385
being made every day to provide
innovative new features,
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00:05:42,516 --> 00:05:45,823
interactive online play and
improved disc access time.
99
00:05:45,954 --> 00:05:47,042
That's improved?
100
00:05:47,172 --> 00:05:48,609
So it's supposed to suck?
101
00:05:48,739 --> 00:05:51,438
Welcome to CPI Consumer Affairs,
my name is Erica.
102
00:05:51,568 --> 00:05:52,874
And which one of our
fabulous products
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00:05:53,004 --> 00:05:54,354
are you calling about today?
104
00:05:54,484 --> 00:05:56,007
Hi, I'm calling about
your lawn mower!
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00:05:56,138 --> 00:05:57,444
It just cut off my toe!
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00:05:57,574 --> 00:05:59,402
Sir, you need to hang up
the phone and call 911!
107
00:05:59,533 --> 00:06:00,969
I can't...
108
00:06:01,099 --> 00:06:02,449
Your number was on the lawn
mower so I called you
109
00:06:02,579 --> 00:06:04,189
and I don't know what to do.
110
00:06:04,320 --> 00:06:05,713
I'm starting to panic,
I'm losing a lot of blood here.
111
00:06:05,843 --> 00:06:07,584
-What do I do?
-Are you crazy?
112
00:06:07,715 --> 00:06:08,629
How long have you
been waiting on hold?
113
00:06:08,759 --> 00:06:09,934
What do I do?
114
00:06:10,065 --> 00:06:12,197
Can you tell my mom
I love her, Erica?
115
00:06:12,328 --> 00:06:14,330
Hang up the phone
and call 911 now!
116
00:06:14,461 --> 00:06:17,899
[laughing]
117
00:06:18,029 --> 00:06:21,685
Listen to me, hang
up and call 911!
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00:06:21,816 --> 00:06:23,774
Gotcha!
119
00:06:23,905 --> 00:06:25,907
Get a life,
you little shit.
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00:06:26,037 --> 00:06:27,778
You sound cute.
What's up?
121
00:06:27,909 --> 00:06:29,040
And which one of
our fabulous products
122
00:06:29,171 --> 00:06:30,346
are you calling about today?
123
00:06:30,477 --> 00:06:32,130
I'm calling about
all of them, ma'am.
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00:06:32,261 --> 00:06:34,655
Yeah, 'cause I know CPI's
working with three of the five
125
00:06:34,785 --> 00:06:36,396
branches of Government.
126
00:06:36,526 --> 00:06:38,441
I know that you're trying to
brainwash the American people
127
00:06:38,572 --> 00:06:42,793
with your frozen foods, and your
TVs and your foot creams
128
00:06:42,924 --> 00:06:44,969
so that no one questions the
International Monitory Fund's
129
00:06:45,100 --> 00:06:47,189
takeover of our civil liberties.
130
00:06:47,319 --> 00:06:48,582
How ya like me now?
131
00:06:51,976 --> 00:06:53,195
Hello?
132
00:06:53,325 --> 00:07:00,332
[cell phone ringing]
133
00:07:01,943 --> 00:07:03,640
Hey hun, what's up?
134
00:07:03,771 --> 00:07:04,902
Not much.
135
00:07:05,033 --> 00:07:06,208
What's going on
with you?
136
00:07:06,338 --> 00:07:07,949
Uh, some guy called
me a whore today.
137
00:07:08,079 --> 00:07:09,820
Wow.
138
00:07:09,951 --> 00:07:10,778
How did he know?
139
00:07:10,908 --> 00:07:12,606
[laughing]
140
00:07:12,736 --> 00:07:14,782
Yeah, oh and some lady wants me
to meet her grandson in Dallas
141
00:07:14,912 --> 00:07:19,090
who is, uh, very nice and
has almost total mobility.
142
00:07:19,221 --> 00:07:20,962
Well, did you
talk to him yet?
143
00:07:21,092 --> 00:07:22,485
Him who?
144
00:07:22,616 --> 00:07:24,356
Him who?
Him Alex!
145
00:07:24,487 --> 00:07:26,010
Uh, not yet.
146
00:07:26,141 --> 00:07:27,272
You really need
to confront him.
147
00:07:27,403 --> 00:07:28,273
It's not that simple.
148
00:07:28,404 --> 00:07:29,666
Erica.
149
00:07:29,797 --> 00:07:31,668
I didn't see anything.
150
00:07:31,799 --> 00:07:34,236
Sara saw them together
with her own two eyeballs.
151
00:07:34,366 --> 00:07:35,498
Yeah, well, just because
they're having lunch
152
00:07:35,629 --> 00:07:37,369
doesn't mean they're
sleeping together.
153
00:07:37,500 --> 00:07:39,763
Okay...You poor,
dumb bastard.
154
00:07:39,894 --> 00:07:41,765
Okay, fine...So what
am I supposed to say?
155
00:07:41,896 --> 00:07:44,768
Oh, uh, hi sweetie, how's
your day, and by the way
156
00:07:44,899 --> 00:07:47,423
are you sleeping with
that skank, Amanda?
157
00:07:47,554 --> 00:07:49,469
Works for me.
158
00:07:49,599 --> 00:07:53,211
You just don't like Alex 'cause
of what he said about your butt.
159
00:07:53,342 --> 00:07:55,823
This has nothing to do with
that, and for the record,
160
00:07:55,953 --> 00:07:57,259
I just want you to know
that I have never had
161
00:07:57,389 --> 00:07:59,348
any complaints
about this ass.
162
00:07:59,479 --> 00:08:01,481
Men have eaten
Har Gow off this ass.
163
00:08:01,611 --> 00:08:02,482
Gross.
164
00:08:02,612 --> 00:08:03,744
[phone beeping]
165
00:08:03,874 --> 00:08:05,485
Oh, look, it's my
boss, I gotta go.
166
00:08:05,615 --> 00:08:08,052
Okay, take it, but you
need to talk to Alex,
167
00:08:08,183 --> 00:08:10,054
be strong,
do not wimp out.
168
00:08:10,185 --> 00:08:12,013
Okay, I'll call you
later, okay?
169
00:08:12,143 --> 00:08:14,058
-Bye.
-Bye.
170
00:08:14,189 --> 00:08:15,451
My ass is awesome.
171
00:08:15,582 --> 00:08:16,844
Hi, Mr. Koffsky.
172
00:08:16,974 --> 00:08:19,716
Hey...my computer says
that you're offline.
173
00:08:19,847 --> 00:08:21,109
I know,
I took a break.
174
00:08:21,239 --> 00:08:22,850
Uh-huh...You're not
scheduled for a break
175
00:08:22,980 --> 00:08:25,026
for another
45 minutes.
176
00:08:25,156 --> 00:08:27,507
I know...I, uh, had
to go to the bathroom.
177
00:08:27,637 --> 00:08:29,596
I had some bad
nachos last night.
178
00:08:29,726 --> 00:08:32,381
Look, Erica, I don't need to
tell you, we let go of, what,
179
00:08:32,512 --> 00:08:35,471
three Consumer Affairs reps
in the last few weeks and that
180
00:08:35,602 --> 00:08:37,386
means that the people that still
have jobs need to pick up
181
00:08:37,517 --> 00:08:40,998
the slack so more volume
means less time for breaks.
182
00:08:41,129 --> 00:08:45,089
I know, I'm sorry, I'm going
back online right now.
183
00:08:45,220 --> 00:08:47,701
Good, good, because you know
the economy's tough and there
184
00:08:47,831 --> 00:08:49,790
are people out there who
would kill for your job.
185
00:08:49,920 --> 00:08:50,921
I know.
186
00:08:51,052 --> 00:08:52,880
See, I'm online.
187
00:08:53,010 --> 00:08:55,926
Good...then why are you
still talking to me?
188
00:08:56,057 --> 00:08:57,449
Right.
189
00:08:57,580 --> 00:09:03,760
♪
190
00:09:03,891 --> 00:09:06,328
Welcome to CPI Consumer
Affairs, this is Erica.
191
00:09:06,458 --> 00:09:09,070
Yes, my name is Jeffery
Smith-Jones with a hyphen,
192
00:09:09,200 --> 00:09:12,552
and I'd like to know
why I can't
get Caribbean Jerk pizza
193
00:09:12,682 --> 00:09:14,118
in the UK?
194
00:09:14,249 --> 00:09:16,120
I mean, it's not like it
really comes from Caribbean.
195
00:09:16,251 --> 00:09:17,731
No, of course not.
196
00:09:17,861 --> 00:09:19,210
Our products are being
introduced into new markets
197
00:09:19,341 --> 00:09:20,951
every day.
198
00:09:21,082 --> 00:09:23,127
Check back on our website for
availability in your area.
199
00:09:23,258 --> 00:09:24,825
Hi Erica.
200
00:09:24,955 --> 00:09:26,783
I think I found a bone in
one of your chicken nuggets.
201
00:09:26,914 --> 00:09:28,437
I almost broke my tooth!
202
00:09:28,568 --> 00:09:30,482
I can help you with that.
203
00:09:36,793 --> 00:09:41,058
I'm sorry our product did not
meet up to your expectations.
204
00:09:41,189 --> 00:09:42,407
[cell phone ringing]
205
00:09:42,538 --> 00:09:44,758
Okay...Um, right.
206
00:09:44,888 --> 00:09:47,195
I can get that coupon
out to you right away.
207
00:09:47,325 --> 00:09:49,110
Okay, right.
208
00:09:49,240 --> 00:09:50,590
Have a great day, sir.
209
00:09:50,720 --> 00:09:53,288
Thank you, good-bye.
210
00:09:57,771 --> 00:09:58,946
Hey.
211
00:09:59,076 --> 00:10:00,208
Hey...
212
00:10:00,338 --> 00:10:01,775
What's up, baby?
213
00:10:01,905 --> 00:10:02,950
Where you been all day?
214
00:10:03,080 --> 00:10:05,866
Right here, working.
215
00:10:05,996 --> 00:10:08,346
So, uh, you
coming over later?
216
00:10:08,477 --> 00:10:10,174
I don't know.
217
00:10:10,305 --> 00:10:12,481
What's the
matter, baby?
218
00:10:12,612 --> 00:10:14,875
Look, I think
we need to talk.
219
00:10:15,005 --> 00:10:17,791
Oh no...here we go.
220
00:10:17,921 --> 00:10:21,142
No, it's not like
that, it's um...
221
00:10:21,272 --> 00:10:22,709
What's the matter?
222
00:10:22,839 --> 00:10:24,188
Am I not tuning into
your feelings again?
223
00:10:24,319 --> 00:10:26,234
No, it's not that.
224
00:10:26,364 --> 00:10:30,194
It's just...I don't
know how to say this.
225
00:10:30,325 --> 00:10:33,415
Let's just cut to
the chase, okay?
226
00:10:33,545 --> 00:10:35,025
Okay...
227
00:10:35,156 --> 00:10:39,334
Well, someone saw you with
that girl from your work,
228
00:10:39,464 --> 00:10:40,944
um, Amanda something.
229
00:10:41,075 --> 00:10:44,165
Who saw me?
230
00:10:44,295 --> 00:10:46,907
Your friend Samantha
with the fat ass?
231
00:10:47,037 --> 00:10:48,430
No, it was
someone else.
232
00:10:48,560 --> 00:10:50,258
Look, it doesn't
matter who, it just,
233
00:10:50,388 --> 00:10:52,477
she saw you having
lunch with Amanda.
234
00:10:52,608 --> 00:10:55,219
So, what, am I not allowed
to have lunch with someone
235
00:10:55,350 --> 00:10:57,700
I work with now?
236
00:10:57,831 --> 00:11:00,442
She said it
looked suspicious.
237
00:11:00,572 --> 00:11:06,056
Uh, I'm sorry, how exactly do
you eat lunch suspiciously?
238
00:11:06,187 --> 00:11:08,145
Hmm? Educate me on this.
239
00:11:08,276 --> 00:11:12,846
Was I making a shifty
eye motion or did a man
240
00:11:12,976 --> 00:11:16,240
in a trenchcoat drop off
a brief case at my table?
241
00:11:16,371 --> 00:11:17,851
Look, I think Sara knows
the difference between
242
00:11:17,981 --> 00:11:20,157
a business lunch
and something more.
243
00:11:20,288 --> 00:11:22,769
Okay, you know, Erica.
244
00:11:22,899 --> 00:11:23,813
You got me, okay?
245
00:11:23,944 --> 00:11:25,423
You got me.
246
00:11:25,554 --> 00:11:28,688
I have been boning Amanda
and afterwards, I thought
247
00:11:28,818 --> 00:11:30,428
that we'd have lunch
in a public place
248
00:11:30,559 --> 00:11:32,953
so that everyone could
see me groping her tits.
249
00:11:33,083 --> 00:11:35,042
Oh and did your friend Sara
tell you that I left
250
00:11:35,172 --> 00:11:37,044
a used condom
in the booth?
251
00:11:37,174 --> 00:11:38,959
I meant to grab it,
just didn't have time.
252
00:11:39,089 --> 00:11:41,004
Just tell me.
253
00:11:41,135 --> 00:11:46,357
Are you cheating on me?
254
00:11:46,488 --> 00:11:47,489
I thought that
you trusted me.
255
00:11:47,619 --> 00:11:49,970
Just tell me!
256
00:11:50,100 --> 00:11:52,407
I can't believe you
need me to say it.
257
00:11:52,537 --> 00:11:54,714
So the answer's no?
258
00:11:54,844 --> 00:11:57,151
Baby...
259
00:11:57,281 --> 00:12:01,721
I would never cheat on
you and you know that.
260
00:12:01,851 --> 00:12:03,113
Okay.
261
00:12:03,244 --> 00:12:05,986
You know, I should
really be...
262
00:12:06,116 --> 00:12:07,857
I should be mad
at you right now.
263
00:12:07,988 --> 00:12:10,077
Your friend Samantha is
an instigating troublemaker.
264
00:12:10,207 --> 00:12:11,905
She's just
looking out for me.
265
00:12:12,035 --> 00:12:13,994
The same way your
friends look out for you.
266
00:12:14,124 --> 00:12:15,082
No, she's
a nosy bitch.
267
00:12:15,212 --> 00:12:16,779
She's my best
friend, Alex.
268
00:12:16,910 --> 00:12:19,739
Oh, so I suppose after we hang
up, you're probably gonna
269
00:12:19,869 --> 00:12:22,524
call her and tell her that
I just called her a bitch.
270
00:12:22,654 --> 00:12:24,134
You guys being best
friends and all.
271
00:12:24,265 --> 00:12:25,745
No, I'm not.
272
00:12:25,875 --> 00:12:29,096
Look, uh, I gotta jump so
I want you to think about
273
00:12:29,226 --> 00:12:32,186
what just
happened, okay?
274
00:12:32,316 --> 00:12:36,756
And I want you to call me later
when you're on your way over.
275
00:12:39,454 --> 00:12:46,504
♪
276
00:12:51,466 --> 00:12:53,381
Okay, so he totally denied
everything, of course,
277
00:12:53,511 --> 00:12:56,427
I mean, but I don't
know anymore.
278
00:12:56,558 --> 00:12:58,473
I mean, maybe, maybe
he's telling the truth.
279
00:12:58,603 --> 00:13:00,257
I mean, is it possible
the lunch was innocent,
280
00:13:00,388 --> 00:13:03,434
I mean, Sara didn't really see
anything incriminating, did she?
281
00:13:03,565 --> 00:13:05,915
Who is this?
282
00:13:06,046 --> 00:13:11,007
Oh...I'm sorry, uh,
I must have miss dialed.
283
00:13:11,138 --> 00:13:12,400
Well, hold up, wait a second.
284
00:13:12,530 --> 00:13:15,795
You can't leave me
hanging like that.
285
00:13:15,925 --> 00:13:17,405
Excuse me?
286
00:13:17,535 --> 00:13:18,623
Was the lunch really innocent?
287
00:13:18,754 --> 00:13:19,973
I mean, what did Sara see?
288
00:13:20,103 --> 00:13:21,583
I need details.
289
00:13:21,713 --> 00:13:25,892
Uh, it, it, it's...it's this,
uh, this stupid thing.
290
00:13:26,022 --> 00:13:28,851
Where are you calling from?
291
00:13:28,982 --> 00:13:30,897
L.A. You?
292
00:13:31,027 --> 00:13:32,202
Fayetteville, North Carolina.
293
00:13:32,333 --> 00:13:34,422
Seriously?
294
00:13:34,552 --> 00:13:36,728
Yes, ma'am.
295
00:13:36,859 --> 00:13:37,773
Wow.
296
00:13:37,904 --> 00:13:39,731
That's a pretty big miss dial.
297
00:13:39,862 --> 00:13:42,517
So you're not gonna tell me
all the sordid details?
298
00:13:42,647 --> 00:13:46,303
Uh, well, maybe if
I knew you better.
299
00:13:46,434 --> 00:13:48,392
What do you want to know?
300
00:13:48,523 --> 00:13:52,135
Uh...okay, um...
301
00:13:52,266 --> 00:13:55,138
Well, first, I'm gonna have to
get some basic information.
302
00:13:55,269 --> 00:13:57,010
Coming back from my
second tour of duty,
303
00:13:57,140 --> 00:13:59,577
I'm a Sergeant in the
Army, 1st Battalion 508,
304
00:13:59,708 --> 00:14:02,058
the Parachute
Infantry Regiment.
305
00:14:02,189 --> 00:14:03,843
I have no idea
what that means.
306
00:14:03,973 --> 00:14:07,194
Uh, we fight
the bad guys.
307
00:14:07,324 --> 00:14:09,413
Yeah okay,
I got that part.
308
00:14:09,544 --> 00:14:11,633
So did you ever
kill anybody?
309
00:14:11,763 --> 00:14:14,070
Yeah, actually.
310
00:14:14,201 --> 00:14:16,681
Oh...I'm, uh, sorry,
I didn't, I didn't mean.
311
00:14:16,812 --> 00:14:19,032
No, that's all right.
312
00:14:19,162 --> 00:14:23,123
This past July, my company
was in the village of Jaukar
313
00:14:23,253 --> 00:14:24,907
in the Badghis Province,
314
00:14:25,038 --> 00:14:28,606
the 2nd Platoon was ambushed
by Taliban militants.
315
00:14:28,737 --> 00:14:30,434
Holy shit.
316
00:14:30,565 --> 00:14:32,175
Yeah, that's
what we said.
317
00:14:32,306 --> 00:14:34,656
We fought our way out of the
village under heavy machine gun
318
00:14:34,786 --> 00:14:37,615
and RPG fire for six hours
'til we were able to link up
319
00:14:37,746 --> 00:14:40,140
with the rest
of the battalion.
320
00:14:40,270 --> 00:14:41,837
What happened?
321
00:14:41,968 --> 00:14:44,100
Well, we counterattacked from
the East while Alpha Team
322
00:14:44,231 --> 00:14:48,757
attacked from the West,
we swept across the flank,
323
00:14:48,888 --> 00:14:52,456
completely over run 'em.
324
00:14:52,587 --> 00:14:54,937
Did anyone die?
325
00:14:55,068 --> 00:14:56,504
Yes, ma'am.
326
00:14:56,634 --> 00:14:58,636
Killed 33 militia
men that day.
327
00:14:58,767 --> 00:15:02,553
Did, did you kill
anyone personally?
328
00:15:02,684 --> 00:15:04,947
Yes ma'am.
329
00:15:05,078 --> 00:15:06,296
What about Americans?
330
00:15:06,427 --> 00:15:08,124
Did anyone
on our side die?
331
00:15:08,255 --> 00:15:09,734
No ma'am.
332
00:15:09,865 --> 00:15:11,562
Not that day.
333
00:15:11,693 --> 00:15:15,044
Wow, that's amazing.
334
00:15:15,175 --> 00:15:17,481
I don't actually know anyone
who's in the military.
335
00:15:17,612 --> 00:15:18,830
Really?
336
00:15:18,961 --> 00:15:21,485
I don't hardly know
anyone who isn't.
337
00:15:21,616 --> 00:15:23,270
Well, now you do.
338
00:15:23,400 --> 00:15:26,708
Yeah...
I guess I do.
339
00:15:26,838 --> 00:15:28,405
[computer phone ringing]
340
00:15:28,536 --> 00:15:31,452
Oh, um, look, I have
to get back to work.
341
00:15:31,582 --> 00:15:33,062
Well, it was nice
talking to you.
342
00:15:33,193 --> 00:15:35,325
You should miss
dial more often.
343
00:15:35,456 --> 00:15:36,936
You stay safe, okay?
344
00:15:37,066 --> 00:15:39,939
Yes, ma'am.
You too.
345
00:15:43,029 --> 00:15:49,992
♪
346
00:15:53,082 --> 00:16:00,046
♪
347
00:16:08,097 --> 00:16:10,143
[phone ringing]
348
00:16:14,669 --> 00:16:17,628
Welcome to CPI Consumer
Affairs, this is Erica,
349
00:16:17,759 --> 00:16:18,673
and which one of
our fabulous products
350
00:16:18,803 --> 00:16:20,283
are you calling
about today?
351
00:16:20,414 --> 00:16:22,938
Hello Erica, I'm calling
about your microwave popcorn.
352
00:16:23,069 --> 00:16:24,679
Great, what seems
to be the problem?
353
00:16:24,809 --> 00:16:26,768
Well, there's no problem at all
if my name was Albert Einstein
354
00:16:26,898 --> 00:16:28,509
but it's not.
355
00:16:28,639 --> 00:16:34,080
Did you remember to take the
bag out of the plastic wrapper?
356
00:16:34,210 --> 00:16:36,343
Do you really think
I didn't do that?
357
00:16:36,473 --> 00:16:37,387
Come on now.
358
00:16:37,518 --> 00:16:38,736
That's not my problem.
359
00:16:38,867 --> 00:16:40,695
I'm trying to calculate
how many calories
360
00:16:40,825 --> 00:16:42,305
are in the bag
of popcorn.
361
00:16:42,436 --> 00:16:44,525
Well, the nutritional
information is on the package.
362
00:16:44,655 --> 00:16:45,961
Oh yeah!
363
00:16:46,092 --> 00:16:47,441
Look at that,
it's right there!
364
00:16:47,571 --> 00:16:49,182
You really don't think
I thought of that?
365
00:16:49,312 --> 00:16:51,619
Well listen, since you have
so much mouth, answer me this,
366
00:16:51,749 --> 00:16:56,015
serving size two tablespoons
unpopped, 110 calories;
367
00:16:56,145 --> 00:17:00,541
but wait, it also says
one cup popped, 20 calories.
368
00:17:00,671 --> 00:17:04,153
Yeah, yeah, that's because that
most of the oil used for popping
369
00:17:04,284 --> 00:17:06,460
isn't consumed, it just
remains in the bag.
370
00:17:06,590 --> 00:17:08,897
Oh, so you have all
the answers today, huh?
371
00:17:09,028 --> 00:17:11,073
You're just Miss Answer Lady,
aren't you?
372
00:17:11,204 --> 00:17:15,469
Okay, well answer me this, it
says a serving size is two cups
373
00:17:15,599 --> 00:17:20,822
of popped popcorn, 120 calories,
and one bag of popcorn makes
374
00:17:20,952 --> 00:17:26,001
six and half cups popped, but
two tablespoons is 110 calories,
375
00:17:26,132 --> 00:17:29,657
and how many servings
are in a bag?
376
00:17:29,787 --> 00:17:31,180
You know what?
377
00:17:31,311 --> 00:17:32,790
I'm gonna have to transfer
you to my supervisor
378
00:17:32,921 --> 00:17:35,402
'cause I don't want to give
you the wrong information.
379
00:17:35,532 --> 00:17:38,013
So, you know let's get an
expert on the line, hmm?
380
00:17:38,144 --> 00:17:39,362
Thank you.
381
00:17:39,493 --> 00:17:40,755
Please hold.
382
00:17:40,885 --> 00:17:43,453
♪
383
00:17:43,584 --> 00:17:46,239
[computer phone ringing]
384
00:17:46,369 --> 00:17:53,376
♪
385
00:17:53,811 --> 00:17:57,424
[computer phone ringing]
386
00:18:02,429 --> 00:18:06,563
[computer phone ringing]
387
00:18:06,694 --> 00:18:13,701
♪
388
00:18:16,747 --> 00:18:23,754
♪
389
00:18:26,627 --> 00:18:28,411
[ringing]
390
00:18:28,542 --> 00:18:30,065
Hello?
391
00:18:30,196 --> 00:18:32,285
Hi! Hi! My name is Erica,
and I'm just calling to --
392
00:18:32,415 --> 00:18:34,504
Nope.
393
00:18:34,635 --> 00:18:37,159
Hello?
394
00:18:37,290 --> 00:18:38,552
Jerk.
395
00:18:51,217 --> 00:18:55,873
[ringing]
396
00:18:56,004 --> 00:18:57,527
Hello?
397
00:18:57,658 --> 00:19:00,313
Hi, my name is Erica and,
uh, I'm not selling anything
398
00:19:00,443 --> 00:19:03,577
and I'm not calling to
get anything from you.
399
00:19:03,707 --> 00:19:04,926
So why are you calling?
400
00:19:05,056 --> 00:19:07,015
I don't know really.
401
00:19:07,146 --> 00:19:08,712
No, actually that's not true.
402
00:19:08,843 --> 00:19:11,715
I'm, uh, okay maybe this is
gonna sound really weird,
403
00:19:11,846 --> 00:19:14,283
but I'm just calling
to talk to someone.
404
00:19:14,414 --> 00:19:18,200
You're not sitting in a bathtub
with slashed wrists, are you?
405
00:19:18,331 --> 00:19:22,248
No, although I did
just take 40 Xanax.
406
00:19:22,378 --> 00:19:23,945
I'm just kidding, it's a joke.
407
00:19:24,075 --> 00:19:28,341
No, I'm, uh, I'm not
suicidal, I'm not lonely,
408
00:19:28,471 --> 00:19:32,258
I'm just trying to,
uh, I don't know,
409
00:19:32,388 --> 00:19:35,086
connect with
another human being.
410
00:19:35,217 --> 00:19:36,479
Is that so wrong?
411
00:19:36,610 --> 00:19:39,874
No, no that's not wrong.
412
00:19:40,004 --> 00:19:44,444
I, when I was younger we used
to do it back in my day only,
413
00:19:44,574 --> 00:19:48,056
only back then, we called it
"taking a chance."
414
00:19:48,187 --> 00:19:49,362
Yes!
415
00:19:49,492 --> 00:19:52,103
That is exactly what
I'm talking about.
416
00:19:52,234 --> 00:19:54,715
So where are you from?
417
00:19:54,845 --> 00:19:59,459
I was born and raised
in Brooklyn, New York.
418
00:19:59,589 --> 00:20:01,112
Really?
419
00:20:01,243 --> 00:20:02,853
Um, are you married?
420
00:20:02,984 --> 00:20:04,638
Depends.
421
00:20:04,768 --> 00:20:06,857
What do you look like?
422
00:20:06,988 --> 00:20:09,512
[laughing]
423
00:20:09,643 --> 00:20:16,563
Oh, alright yes, 57 years,
five kids, 17 grandchildren
424
00:20:19,653 --> 00:20:22,830
and one great-grandkid
that keeps beating me
425
00:20:22,960 --> 00:20:24,310
at computer bowling.
426
00:20:24,440 --> 00:20:25,920
You play Wii bowling?
427
00:20:26,050 --> 00:20:27,487
I love Wii bowling!
428
00:20:27,617 --> 00:20:31,404
♪
429
00:20:31,534 --> 00:20:34,450
Yeah but what are you
really passionate about?
430
00:20:34,581 --> 00:20:36,800
I mean, there must be something
you just love, love, love,
431
00:20:36,931 --> 00:20:38,280
you know what I mean?
432
00:20:38,411 --> 00:20:40,282
I think I could be an artist.
433
00:20:40,413 --> 00:20:42,893
I mean, more like an animator.
434
00:20:43,024 --> 00:20:46,506
I really like to draw like
cartoons and scenes
435
00:20:46,636 --> 00:20:47,985
and stuff, you know.
436
00:20:48,116 --> 00:20:50,161
Yeah, yeah,
you should do that.
437
00:20:50,292 --> 00:20:51,641
Do what you love!
438
00:20:51,772 --> 00:20:55,602
But what if, I don't know,
I'm not good enough?
439
00:20:55,732 --> 00:20:58,387
Yeah, but what if you are?
440
00:20:58,518 --> 00:21:01,172
So, what is the most
embarrassing thing
441
00:21:01,303 --> 00:21:02,696
that's ever happened to you?
442
00:21:02,826 --> 00:21:05,525
God, this is, this is
like you're my therapist.
443
00:21:05,655 --> 00:21:09,964
So, um, what are you wearing?
444
00:21:11,922 --> 00:21:13,097
Eh...
445
00:21:13,228 --> 00:21:14,751
[dial tone]
446
00:21:15,578 --> 00:21:17,537
Well, how often do you see them?
447
00:21:17,667 --> 00:21:19,278
Not very often.
448
00:21:19,408 --> 00:21:23,064
My son lives in Omaha now and
my daughter lives in Tucson
449
00:21:23,194 --> 00:21:25,066
with her husband.
450
00:21:25,196 --> 00:21:26,197
Well, what about
the holidays?
451
00:21:26,328 --> 00:21:28,199
Do you get
together then?
452
00:21:28,330 --> 00:21:31,942
We used to, but Bobby lost
his job last spring and
453
00:21:32,073 --> 00:21:34,423
Amy's working two jobs now
to make ends meet.
454
00:21:34,554 --> 00:21:36,991
They can't afford to
take time off to see me.
455
00:21:37,121 --> 00:21:39,254
Maybe you could
go and see them?
456
00:21:39,385 --> 00:21:42,692
I mean, I'm sure a train ticket
to Omaha isn't that much money.
457
00:21:42,823 --> 00:21:44,433
No, it's not the money.
458
00:21:44,564 --> 00:21:46,566
Because I could help you out
if it's just the train ticket.
459
00:21:46,696 --> 00:21:49,830
Oh, sweetie, that's so nice
of you, but the truth is,
460
00:21:49,960 --> 00:21:52,049
they've got their
own lives now.
461
00:21:52,180 --> 00:21:54,269
I don't want
to be a burden.
462
00:21:54,400 --> 00:21:57,577
We talk on the phone,
that's plenty for me.
463
00:21:57,707 --> 00:21:59,143
Really?
464
00:21:59,274 --> 00:22:01,232
Hey, maybe you could
surprise them for Christmas.
465
00:22:01,363 --> 00:22:02,712
No.
466
00:22:02,843 --> 00:22:06,542
It's alright, besides
I've got Bill my Corgi.
467
00:22:06,673 --> 00:22:10,764
Well, it sounds like
Bill is a very lucky dog.
468
00:22:10,894 --> 00:22:12,635
Sweetie.
469
00:22:12,766 --> 00:22:19,773
♪
470
00:22:27,520 --> 00:22:34,483
♪
471
00:22:37,573 --> 00:22:44,537
♪
472
00:22:46,365 --> 00:22:50,151
Like two people could even fit
in that dirty, disgusting space.
473
00:22:50,281 --> 00:22:51,152
[phone beeping]
474
00:22:51,282 --> 00:22:52,762
Hold on...
475
00:22:52,893 --> 00:22:56,810
Oh shit, it's my boss, um,
I've gotta take this call.
476
00:22:56,940 --> 00:22:59,726
It was awesome talking to you.
477
00:22:59,856 --> 00:23:02,555
Yeah, well, you've
got my number,
478
00:23:02,685 --> 00:23:04,818
let's talk again some time.
479
00:23:04,948 --> 00:23:08,952
Okay, great, okay, bye.
480
00:23:09,083 --> 00:23:10,519
This is Erica.
481
00:23:10,650 --> 00:23:11,912
Yes, Mr. Koffsky?
482
00:23:12,042 --> 00:23:13,566
Yeah, what the heck is
going on over there?
483
00:23:13,696 --> 00:23:15,568
Uh, what do you mean?
484
00:23:15,698 --> 00:23:17,570
Uh, your queue is
like a mile long
485
00:23:17,700 --> 00:23:19,876
and it's getting
longer by the minute.
486
00:23:20,007 --> 00:23:22,575
Uh, what? No.
No, no it's not.
487
00:23:22,705 --> 00:23:24,228
My screen is
showing no calls.
488
00:23:24,359 --> 00:23:25,969
I mean, it's been
quiet here.
489
00:23:26,100 --> 00:23:28,015
I was actually gonna call you
to ask if the network was down.
490
00:23:28,145 --> 00:23:29,277
Great.
491
00:23:29,408 --> 00:23:30,365
You're serious, right?
492
00:23:30,496 --> 00:23:31,627
You don't see
all these calls?
493
00:23:31,758 --> 00:23:35,370
No.
494
00:23:35,501 --> 00:23:37,285
Oh wait, look there it goes.
495
00:23:37,416 --> 00:23:38,721
Now it's back online.
496
00:23:38,852 --> 00:23:41,768
I think the system was
offline for some reason.
497
00:23:41,898 --> 00:23:43,030
You know what,
I see the calls now.
498
00:23:43,160 --> 00:23:45,641
Wow, wow, you were right.
499
00:23:45,772 --> 00:23:50,559
Okay, I guess that wasn't your
fault, but I'm glad I called.
500
00:23:50,690 --> 00:23:52,866
Look if, if you think the
network is down again,
501
00:23:52,996 --> 00:23:55,390
then call me
right away, okay?
502
00:23:55,521 --> 00:23:56,870
Okay, you bet,
you bet.
503
00:23:57,000 --> 00:23:59,176
I'm sorry
about that, sir.
504
00:23:59,307 --> 00:24:02,832
You know, by the way, I think
the Consumer Affair Manual's
505
00:24:02,963 --> 00:24:04,617
a little
dumb sometimes.
506
00:24:04,747 --> 00:24:06,880
I mean, yesterday I got a call
from a young girl who was asking
507
00:24:07,010 --> 00:24:09,709
how to use a tampon and the
script told me to ask her
508
00:24:09,839 --> 00:24:10,840
if she was pregnant.
509
00:24:10,971 --> 00:24:13,539
I mean, who wrote
this manual?
510
00:24:13,669 --> 00:24:14,540
Okay then.
511
00:24:14,670 --> 00:24:17,412
Okay, sir, bye.
512
00:24:20,633 --> 00:24:26,552
[computer phone ringing]
513
00:24:26,682 --> 00:24:33,646
♪
514
00:24:36,736 --> 00:24:43,133
♪
515
00:24:43,264 --> 00:24:44,308
One more.
516
00:24:44,439 --> 00:24:47,486
One more and then back to work.
517
00:24:52,665 --> 00:24:58,192
Let's call...New York City.
518
00:24:59,889 --> 00:25:03,850
[ringing]
519
00:25:03,980 --> 00:25:04,938
Hello?
520
00:25:05,068 --> 00:25:06,461
-Hi.
-Hi.
521
00:25:06,592 --> 00:25:08,071
Hi. Hi,
522
00:25:08,202 --> 00:25:10,334
uh, you don't know me
and I'm not selling anything,
523
00:25:10,465 --> 00:25:13,120
I'm not crazy and this
isn't a prank call.
524
00:25:13,250 --> 00:25:16,819
I'm just calling people
today to talk, you know,
525
00:25:16,950 --> 00:25:20,170
I mean, I'm not lonely
or suicidal, I just,
526
00:25:20,301 --> 00:25:22,912
I'm just kind of having fun
connecting with people.
527
00:25:23,043 --> 00:25:26,612
You know, making a connection
with real people.
528
00:25:26,742 --> 00:25:29,658
Um, yeah, so you know
maybe, I don't know,
529
00:25:29,789 --> 00:25:34,271
meet someone new,
make a friend.
530
00:25:34,402 --> 00:25:35,751
What's your name?
531
00:25:35,882 --> 00:25:39,450
Erica.
532
00:25:39,581 --> 00:25:40,539
Kyle.
533
00:25:40,669 --> 00:25:42,236
Kyle.
534
00:25:42,366 --> 00:25:43,237
Hi, Kyle.
535
00:25:43,367 --> 00:25:45,413
Hi, Erica.
536
00:25:45,544 --> 00:25:48,721
So, um, what do you
want to talk about?
537
00:25:48,851 --> 00:25:51,201
Hmm? Like, uh...
538
00:25:51,332 --> 00:25:55,292
Your most embarrassing
secrets, childhood memories,
539
00:25:55,423 --> 00:26:00,646
what's the most famous
movie you've never seen?
540
00:26:00,776 --> 00:26:02,735
How long you been
doing this?
541
00:26:02,865 --> 00:26:03,736
Doing what?
542
00:26:03,866 --> 00:26:05,346
Calling people.
543
00:26:05,476 --> 00:26:07,957
Uh, I don't know,
a couple of hours.
544
00:26:08,088 --> 00:26:09,263
Why?
545
00:26:09,393 --> 00:26:10,743
You think I'm
totally crazy, right?
546
00:26:10,873 --> 00:26:14,050
No, no, actually, I think
it's kind of genius.
547
00:26:14,181 --> 00:26:16,444
So tell me about you.
548
00:26:16,575 --> 00:26:18,359
Uh, me?
549
00:26:18,489 --> 00:26:19,490
What do you
want to know?
550
00:26:19,621 --> 00:26:21,449
I don't know,
what'd you do?
551
00:26:21,580 --> 00:26:25,801
Um, I am a Consumer
Affairs Rep for CPI.
552
00:26:25,932 --> 00:26:27,281
Okay.
553
00:26:27,411 --> 00:26:28,978
It's kind of like,
it's like customer service,
554
00:26:29,109 --> 00:26:32,068
actually all CPI's Consumer
Affairs Reps work freelance
555
00:26:32,199 --> 00:26:36,420
so I actually work out of
my home talking on the phone
556
00:26:36,551 --> 00:26:38,031
to people all day.
557
00:26:38,161 --> 00:26:40,555
Oh, it's all starting
to make sense now.
558
00:26:40,686 --> 00:26:41,556
Yeah.
559
00:26:41,687 --> 00:26:42,992
So, how does that work?
560
00:26:43,123 --> 00:26:44,994
The calls get routed to
your cell or something?
561
00:26:45,125 --> 00:26:46,343
No actually.
562
00:26:46,474 --> 00:26:47,954
It's this whole
complicated network.
563
00:26:48,084 --> 00:26:49,782
The calls come in through
my laptop and then I have
564
00:26:49,912 --> 00:26:51,566
a headset and
everything, so...
565
00:26:51,697 --> 00:26:56,571
Oh...Like the
Time Lifeoperator.
566
00:26:56,702 --> 00:26:59,095
Uh, wait a minute.
How old are you?
567
00:26:59,226 --> 00:27:00,880
What?
568
00:27:01,010 --> 00:27:03,404
No, you know the commercials
with the, they aren't that old!
569
00:27:03,534 --> 00:27:06,233
Those are like from
the '80s or something.
570
00:27:06,363 --> 00:27:08,278
You knew what I meant.
571
00:27:08,409 --> 00:27:15,155
Alright so, um, why does someone
call CPI Consumer Affairs?
572
00:27:15,285 --> 00:27:17,070
Um, okay.
573
00:27:17,200 --> 00:27:19,246
Have you ever noticed how on
like every package of every
574
00:27:19,376 --> 00:27:22,728
product ever made there is
a number, like questions,
575
00:27:22,858 --> 00:27:25,687
comments, complaints,
call 1-800-blah blah --
576
00:27:25,818 --> 00:27:27,428
yeah, that's me.
577
00:27:27,558 --> 00:27:29,996
So they call me and then
I ask them questions about
578
00:27:30,126 --> 00:27:32,955
what product they're calling
about and um, I have,
579
00:27:33,086 --> 00:27:35,218
my computer takes me through
a script so I can deal with
580
00:27:35,349 --> 00:27:36,524
whatever questions
they may have.
581
00:27:36,655 --> 00:27:39,005
Oh. Like what?
582
00:27:39,135 --> 00:27:43,009
I don't know, like, uh,
nutritional information
583
00:27:43,139 --> 00:27:46,621
or a complaint about something
that doesn't taste right
584
00:27:46,752 --> 00:27:48,710
or sometimes like
how to use things.
585
00:27:48,841 --> 00:27:50,190
Oh, okay.
586
00:27:50,320 --> 00:27:51,582
Actually, sometimes I just
get a lot of really
587
00:27:51,713 --> 00:27:54,063
dumb people who call.
588
00:27:54,194 --> 00:27:57,763
Like, this one time this,
yeah, this woman called
589
00:27:57,893 --> 00:28:00,940
and literally wants to know
how to heat up a can of soup
590
00:28:01,070 --> 00:28:02,724
and so I'm asking her
all the questions, right,
591
00:28:02,855 --> 00:28:06,032
and it takes about 20 minutes
before I realize she's actually
592
00:28:06,162 --> 00:28:09,252
put the can in the pot.
593
00:28:09,383 --> 00:28:10,558
The actual can?
594
00:28:10,689 --> 00:28:12,255
The actual can.
595
00:28:12,386 --> 00:28:14,344
So then I have to talk
her into, you know, turning
596
00:28:14,475 --> 00:28:17,434
the stove down, not touching
the can because it's too hot,
597
00:28:17,565 --> 00:28:20,524
so now, that is why everywhere
you see a can, it says,
598
00:28:20,655 --> 00:28:24,267
empty contents
into saucepan.
599
00:28:24,398 --> 00:28:25,704
That's not
a real story.
600
00:28:25,834 --> 00:28:26,922
I swear to God.
601
00:28:27,053 --> 00:28:28,445
No.
602
00:28:28,576 --> 00:28:32,101
So wait, I'm talking to
the empty contents girl?
603
00:28:32,232 --> 00:28:33,320
That's me.
604
00:28:33,450 --> 00:28:34,408
Empty contents girl.
605
00:28:34,538 --> 00:28:36,105
Oh wow.
606
00:28:36,236 --> 00:28:37,541
I am honored.
607
00:28:37,672 --> 00:28:39,456
Well, thank you.
Thank you very much.
608
00:28:39,587 --> 00:28:40,762
Yeah.
609
00:28:40,893 --> 00:28:43,678
So what do you
do for fun?
610
00:28:43,809 --> 00:28:46,202
Um, let's not talk
about me anymore.
611
00:28:46,333 --> 00:28:47,856
Tell me something
about you.
612
00:28:47,987 --> 00:28:50,467
You don't like to talk
about yourself...
613
00:28:50,598 --> 00:28:51,773
That's rare.
614
00:28:51,904 --> 00:28:54,733
No, I don't mind
talking about myself.
615
00:28:54,863 --> 00:28:57,736
But deep down, you're
more of a listener.
616
00:28:57,866 --> 00:29:00,869
Um, yeah, I never really
thought about it that way.
617
00:29:01,000 --> 00:29:03,045
I mean, yeah,
maybe you're right.
618
00:29:03,176 --> 00:29:06,048
Do you actually like, uh,
listening to other people talk
619
00:29:06,179 --> 00:29:11,184
or are you just too guarded
to talk about yourself?
620
00:29:11,314 --> 00:29:14,143
Okay, are you gonna send me
a therapy bill or something?
621
00:29:14,274 --> 00:29:15,710
Just go ahead,
ask me anything.
622
00:29:15,841 --> 00:29:17,451
Okay, well,
what do you like?
623
00:29:17,581 --> 00:29:20,280
I mean, what
makes you tick?
624
00:29:20,410 --> 00:29:23,849
Uh, you mean is Consumer
Affairs my life's ambition?
625
00:29:23,979 --> 00:29:26,765
No. I mean,
I like other things.
626
00:29:26,895 --> 00:29:29,942
Like bungee jumping
and spelunking?
627
00:29:30,072 --> 00:29:31,726
No.
628
00:29:31,857 --> 00:29:34,947
More like watching "Dancing With
The Stars" and eating ice cream.
629
00:29:35,077 --> 00:29:38,167
Ooh, wow, you are
a thrill seeker!
630
00:29:38,298 --> 00:29:39,778
[laughing]
631
00:29:39,908 --> 00:29:41,518
I like exciting
stuff too.
632
00:29:41,649 --> 00:29:42,563
Like what?
633
00:29:42,693 --> 00:29:43,825
I do, I don't know.
634
00:29:43,956 --> 00:29:45,348
What do you do
that's exciting?
635
00:29:45,479 --> 00:29:46,349
Come on.
636
00:29:46,480 --> 00:29:47,481
Lots of things.
637
00:29:47,611 --> 00:29:49,222
Like what?
638
00:29:49,352 --> 00:29:51,006
Like archery.
639
00:29:51,137 --> 00:29:53,095
See now we're
getting somewhere.
640
00:29:53,226 --> 00:29:54,705
Archery.
641
00:29:54,836 --> 00:29:57,752
Yep, actually, I was almost
on the Olympic team.
642
00:29:57,883 --> 00:30:02,148
No! In Beijing?
643
00:30:02,278 --> 00:30:04,498
No, uh, Athens, 2004.
644
00:30:04,628 --> 00:30:06,108
Oh, how cool.
645
00:30:06,239 --> 00:30:08,197
Yeah, I missed making
the team by two points.
646
00:30:08,328 --> 00:30:09,938
Oh, that sucks.
647
00:30:10,069 --> 00:30:11,940
Yeah, well...
648
00:30:12,071 --> 00:30:14,334
So did you, uh, did
you try again in 2008?
649
00:30:14,464 --> 00:30:17,424
No, I mean, it was really
something I was doing while
650
00:30:17,554 --> 00:30:20,166
I was in college and afterwards
it was too much of a hassle
651
00:30:20,296 --> 00:30:22,037
to get to
the range so...
652
00:30:22,168 --> 00:30:25,475
So you just,
you gave up?
653
00:30:25,606 --> 00:30:27,651
You make it sound like
I'm a quitter or something.
654
00:30:27,782 --> 00:30:29,044
Like archery was
my life's dream,
655
00:30:29,175 --> 00:30:31,307
I mean, it was
just a hobby.
656
00:30:31,438 --> 00:30:35,398
But you were good at it.
657
00:30:35,529 --> 00:30:38,924
Uh, yeah.
658
00:30:39,054 --> 00:30:41,665
And you liked it?
659
00:30:41,796 --> 00:30:48,368
Yeah...yeah.
660
00:30:48,498 --> 00:30:50,500
You have a boyfriend?
661
00:30:50,631 --> 00:30:52,676
Ah, see, I was wondering
how long it would take
662
00:30:52,807 --> 00:30:54,200
before you got to that.
663
00:30:54,330 --> 00:30:55,897
Come on now, I'm just
trying to communicate
664
00:30:56,028 --> 00:30:57,333
with another
human being.
665
00:30:57,464 --> 00:30:59,292
If we can't be honest
with total strangers,
666
00:30:59,422 --> 00:31:01,468
who can we be
honest with?
667
00:31:01,598 --> 00:31:04,123
Uh, it's complicated.
668
00:31:04,253 --> 00:31:05,472
Uh-oh.
669
00:31:05,602 --> 00:31:08,257
See, now I'm
very interested.
670
00:31:08,388 --> 00:31:14,655
Uh, yes, I have a boyfriend but
I think he's cheating on me.
671
00:31:14,785 --> 00:31:17,527
Go on.
672
00:31:17,658 --> 00:31:19,573
Can we talk about
something else?
673
00:31:19,703 --> 00:31:20,835
What? You don't know me
well enough to talk about
674
00:31:20,966 --> 00:31:22,097
your cheating boyfriend?
675
00:31:22,228 --> 00:31:24,317
My maybe cheating
boyfriend, and no,
676
00:31:24,447 --> 00:31:26,797
no, I don't know you
at all actually.
677
00:31:26,928 --> 00:31:29,278
Okay, well, maybe we can
do something to change that.
678
00:31:29,409 --> 00:31:34,588
Let's see, ah, I gotta
go with "Star Wars."
679
00:31:34,718 --> 00:31:37,069
"Star Wars" what?
680
00:31:37,199 --> 00:31:41,116
That is the most famous
movie I have never seen.
681
00:31:41,247 --> 00:31:42,161
Are you kidding me?
682
00:31:42,291 --> 00:31:43,510
No.
683
00:31:43,640 --> 00:31:44,685
Who are you?
684
00:31:44,815 --> 00:31:46,643
Everyone has
seen "Star Wars."
685
00:31:46,774 --> 00:31:48,384
I know, I know,
it's weird.
686
00:31:48,515 --> 00:31:50,343
Maybe I'm just waiting for the
right person to see it with.
687
00:31:50,473 --> 00:31:53,563
Whoa, does that line
actually work for you?
688
00:31:53,694 --> 00:31:54,564
Do you like that?
689
00:31:54,695 --> 00:31:56,262
It didn't work?
690
00:31:56,392 --> 00:31:59,308
[laughing]
691
00:31:59,439 --> 00:32:01,615
That was my best stuff.
692
00:32:01,745 --> 00:32:03,051
Oh, look I gotta go.
693
00:32:03,182 --> 00:32:05,836
I've got like, my queue
is beeping at me
694
00:32:05,967 --> 00:32:08,230
and I have like
39 calls backed up.
695
00:32:08,361 --> 00:32:10,015
I'm probably gonna get fired
when my boss realizes
696
00:32:10,145 --> 00:32:12,931
the network isn't
really down.
697
00:32:13,061 --> 00:32:15,150
Would you call me back?
698
00:32:15,281 --> 00:32:17,283
Uh, I don't know.
699
00:32:17,413 --> 00:32:20,112
I have a whole list of
strangers I haven't called yet.
700
00:32:20,242 --> 00:32:25,421
I got your number on caller ID,
can I...can I call you back?
701
00:32:25,552 --> 00:32:28,772
Okay...Okay.
702
00:32:28,903 --> 00:32:29,773
Okay.
703
00:32:29,904 --> 00:32:31,036
Okay.
704
00:32:31,166 --> 00:32:32,385
Alright, see ya.
705
00:32:32,515 --> 00:32:33,952
Alright, bye.
706
00:32:34,082 --> 00:32:36,432
Bye.
707
00:32:37,346 --> 00:32:40,219
Ah...
708
00:32:40,349 --> 00:32:41,960
Kyle.
709
00:32:42,090 --> 00:32:44,701
[computer phone ringing]
710
00:32:44,832 --> 00:32:46,355
Okay.
711
00:32:53,362 --> 00:32:56,452
Welcome to CPI Consumer
Affairs, my name is Erica.
712
00:32:56,583 --> 00:32:57,671
Which one of our
fabulous products
713
00:32:57,801 --> 00:32:59,194
are you calling
about today?
714
00:32:59,325 --> 00:33:00,587
Oh yeah, hi!
715
00:33:00,717 --> 00:33:02,676
I'm just calling about
this shredded cheese
716
00:33:02,806 --> 00:33:04,286
that I just bought.
717
00:33:04,417 --> 00:33:07,463
It says it's limited
edition cheddar.
718
00:33:07,594 --> 00:33:09,030
Uh, that's right.
719
00:33:09,161 --> 00:33:10,553
Our New York Cheddar shredded
cheese is available
720
00:33:10,684 --> 00:33:11,685
for a limited time.
721
00:33:11,815 --> 00:33:13,513
Yeah, but why?
722
00:33:13,643 --> 00:33:17,430
I mean, I really like it and uh,
it's not like I can stock up,
723
00:33:17,560 --> 00:33:20,781
it's cheese, it's not
gonna last forever.
724
00:33:20,911 --> 00:33:23,218
You know, let me check to see
when the New York Cheddar
725
00:33:23,349 --> 00:33:25,046
is available until.
726
00:33:26,917 --> 00:33:28,310
Ah, good news, sir!
727
00:33:28,441 --> 00:33:29,746
The New York Cheddar is
scheduled to be available
728
00:33:29,877 --> 00:33:31,052
until next May.
729
00:33:31,183 --> 00:33:32,967
Yeah, but what
happens after that?
730
00:33:33,098 --> 00:33:38,146
Can I like petition CPI
to continue making
731
00:33:38,277 --> 00:33:40,409
the New York Cheddar?
732
00:33:40,540 --> 00:33:43,108
Uh, well, I can take down your
information and pass the word
733
00:33:43,238 --> 00:33:46,415
onto the people who decide which
cheeses to make and if enough
734
00:33:46,546 --> 00:33:48,635
people call, I'm sure they'll
continue to make it.
735
00:33:48,765 --> 00:33:50,767
Yeah, yeah, okay!
736
00:33:50,898 --> 00:33:53,118
It's worth a shot.
737
00:33:53,248 --> 00:33:56,121
Okay great, so let me
get your information
738
00:33:56,251 --> 00:33:59,733
and we can also send you
a coupon for a free bag
739
00:33:59,863 --> 00:34:01,300
of New York Cheddar
shredded cheese
740
00:34:01,430 --> 00:34:03,389
for providing us with
this valuable feedback.
741
00:34:03,519 --> 00:34:05,521
Oh, okay. Great!
742
00:34:07,480 --> 00:34:12,485
[cell phone ringing]
743
00:34:12,615 --> 00:34:14,052
Hey.
744
00:34:14,182 --> 00:34:15,053
What'd he say?
745
00:34:15,183 --> 00:34:16,054
Who?
746
00:34:16,184 --> 00:34:17,620
Hello! Alex.
747
00:34:17,751 --> 00:34:19,579
You were supposed to call me
after you talked to him.
748
00:34:19,709 --> 00:34:21,320
Oh, oh my God.
749
00:34:21,450 --> 00:34:23,104
I'm so sorry,
I forgot.
750
00:34:23,235 --> 00:34:25,628
Well actually, I tried to call
you but I miss dialed and I got
751
00:34:25,759 --> 00:34:28,762
a wrong number and long story
short, I have been talking
752
00:34:28,892 --> 00:34:31,069
to strangers on
the phone all day.
753
00:34:31,199 --> 00:34:33,723
Isn't that what you
sort of do every day?
754
00:34:33,854 --> 00:34:35,203
No.
755
00:34:35,334 --> 00:34:36,900
I mean, yes, but these
are strangers I call.
756
00:34:37,031 --> 00:34:39,729
I mean, I've been meeting
people over the phone.
757
00:34:39,860 --> 00:34:41,340
What's wrong with you?
758
00:34:41,470 --> 00:34:42,993
It's actually
kind of fun.
759
00:34:43,124 --> 00:34:44,734
I'm having real
conversations with them.
760
00:34:44,865 --> 00:34:47,650
Okay, Erica, I'm gonna
need you to focus here.
761
00:34:47,781 --> 00:34:51,089
Did you or did you
not speak to Alex?
762
00:34:51,219 --> 00:34:55,267
Yeah, yeah I did.
763
00:34:55,397 --> 00:34:58,792
He said it was nothing and
that I'm being paranoid.
764
00:34:58,922 --> 00:35:01,099
I'm supposed to go over
to his place tonight.
765
00:35:01,229 --> 00:35:02,883
Are you kidding me?
766
00:35:03,013 --> 00:35:04,972
He said the lunch
was business related.
767
00:35:05,103 --> 00:35:08,106
Sara saw them, it was
not business related.
768
00:35:08,236 --> 00:35:09,716
But what did he
do specifically?
769
00:35:09,846 --> 00:35:11,544
I mean, did he kiss her?
770
00:35:11,674 --> 00:35:13,198
Are you freaking
kidding me right now?
771
00:35:13,328 --> 00:35:14,808
Are you taking his side?
772
00:35:14,938 --> 00:35:17,854
Well, uh, you've obviously
been biased against Alex.
773
00:35:17,985 --> 00:35:19,204
I mean, you've
never liked him.
774
00:35:19,334 --> 00:35:20,944
Do you think I have
some sort of agenda?
775
00:35:21,075 --> 00:35:23,686
I am your best
friend, okay?
776
00:35:23,817 --> 00:35:27,821
I am doing this so that you
could one day possibly be happy.
777
00:35:27,951 --> 00:35:29,475
I know, I'm sorry.
778
00:35:29,605 --> 00:35:31,390
You deserve
someone great.
779
00:35:31,520 --> 00:35:35,568
You are a fabulous human being
and Alex never acknowledged that
780
00:35:35,698 --> 00:35:38,832
and that, my friend, is why
I do not like him and that is
781
00:35:38,962 --> 00:35:41,574
also why you should dump
his sorry, flat ass.
782
00:35:41,704 --> 00:35:42,966
I know, you're right.
783
00:35:43,097 --> 00:35:46,883
I just, I mean, what
if he is cheating? Hmm?
784
00:35:47,014 --> 00:35:48,885
I mean, I dump him
and then what?
785
00:35:49,016 --> 00:35:50,322
I start dating again?
786
00:35:50,452 --> 00:35:53,803
I just don't if I can
do that all over again.
787
00:35:53,934 --> 00:35:58,591
I'd much rather be alone than be
with someone who didn't love me.
788
00:35:58,721 --> 00:35:59,853
Yeah.
789
00:35:59,983 --> 00:36:02,029
[computer ringing]
790
00:36:02,160 --> 00:36:06,033
Uh, listen I've gotta,
I've gotta take care of
791
00:36:06,164 --> 00:36:08,296
some of these calls.
792
00:36:08,427 --> 00:36:12,561
Uh, I'm seeing him tonight
and I'll see how it goes.
793
00:36:12,692 --> 00:36:13,736
Better not
sleep with him.
794
00:36:13,867 --> 00:36:15,521
Okay, hun, I'll
talk to you later.
795
00:36:15,651 --> 00:36:16,870
And you better call
me right afterwards.
796
00:36:17,000 --> 00:36:18,306
Bye.
797
00:36:35,976 --> 00:36:38,108
Welcome to CPI Consumer
Affairs, my name is Erica.
798
00:36:38,239 --> 00:36:39,545
Which one of our
fabulous products
799
00:36:39,675 --> 00:36:40,763
are you calling about today?
800
00:36:40,894 --> 00:36:42,548
Hi, so here's the story.
801
00:36:42,678 --> 00:36:44,637
I'm walking my dog, Ricky, and
he's got like the loose poops,
802
00:36:44,767 --> 00:36:46,769
you know, not so loose that you
gotta like bring out the hose
803
00:36:46,900 --> 00:36:48,510
or something but loose, right.
804
00:36:48,641 --> 00:36:50,251
Okay.
805
00:36:50,382 --> 00:36:52,166
I'm trying to pick it up and
it's hard because it's loose
806
00:36:52,297 --> 00:36:55,125
and it's like oh, oh, it's kind
of runny, like whatever.
807
00:36:55,256 --> 00:36:58,216
So, oh and by the way,
I'm talking to my girlfriend Amy
808
00:36:58,346 --> 00:37:01,349
and she's just going on and on
and on and on about her sister
809
00:37:01,480 --> 00:37:02,742
who's like a raging bitch.
810
00:37:02,872 --> 00:37:04,657
She's like ah,
she's a fat cow, blah.
811
00:37:04,787 --> 00:37:05,875
Okay, ma'am, which product
are you calling about?
812
00:37:06,006 --> 00:37:07,486
I'm getting there.
813
00:37:07,616 --> 00:37:09,183
So I'm talking to Amy,
I'm trying to pick up, like,
814
00:37:09,314 --> 00:37:12,099
the loose poops, it's not
working, blah, blah, blah, blah,
815
00:37:12,230 --> 00:37:16,538
uh, my phone falls
in the poo, right.
816
00:37:16,669 --> 00:37:20,673
I'm like, disgusting,
this is insane, only me!
817
00:37:20,803 --> 00:37:21,761
Okay, anyway.
818
00:37:21,891 --> 00:37:23,806
So I go to pick up the phone.
819
00:37:23,937 --> 00:37:25,504
With your hand?
820
00:37:25,634 --> 00:37:27,593
No, not with my hand,
I'm like an animal to you?
821
00:37:27,723 --> 00:37:29,508
No, with the poo bag.
822
00:37:29,638 --> 00:37:32,424
Anyway, so I like take
the phone home, I'm like,
823
00:37:32,554 --> 00:37:35,731
you know, gonna rinse it off,
you know, good as new, right?
824
00:37:35,862 --> 00:37:40,432
Well, the little light comes on
basically saying the warranty
825
00:37:40,562 --> 00:37:44,305
is void because it's come in
contact with water, whatever.
826
00:37:44,436 --> 00:37:46,829
Okay, ma'am, CPI doesn't
manufacture cell phones.
827
00:37:46,960 --> 00:37:49,789
You know what, I'm getting
to the point of my story
828
00:37:49,919 --> 00:37:51,834
and I'm gonna need
you to be quiet.
829
00:37:51,965 --> 00:37:53,749
Sorry ma'am.
830
00:37:53,880 --> 00:37:55,795
Thanks, you're a peach.
831
00:37:55,925 --> 00:38:01,322
Anyway, so I have my phone, I'm
going into the cell phone store
832
00:38:01,453 --> 00:38:04,107
and I'm like, he's gonna give
me a new phone if he sees me,
833
00:38:04,238 --> 00:38:06,022
if he just sees me.
834
00:38:06,153 --> 00:38:08,460
So he's like, um, sorry
ma'am, I cannot help you,
835
00:38:08,590 --> 00:38:10,766
the red light is on,
it's had contact with water,
836
00:38:10,897 --> 00:38:13,552
blah, blah, blah, blah,
and I'm like I know
837
00:38:13,682 --> 00:38:15,684
but you should
give me a new phone.
838
00:38:15,815 --> 00:38:17,904
And he's like, I'm sorry
ma'am, I can't help you.
839
00:38:18,034 --> 00:38:19,906
I'm livid!
840
00:38:20,036 --> 00:38:21,299
Ma'am, I really have
to ask which product
841
00:38:21,429 --> 00:38:22,430
you're calling about.
842
00:38:22,561 --> 00:38:23,866
We have other callers waiting.
843
00:38:23,997 --> 00:38:25,520
I could have sworn
I called Consumer Affairs.
844
00:38:25,651 --> 00:38:27,261
Yes but --
845
00:38:27,392 --> 00:38:28,480
I'm a consumer and I have an
affair that you need to handle.
846
00:38:28,610 --> 00:38:30,308
Can you do your job?
847
00:38:30,438 --> 00:38:31,918
Okay. I'm sorry.
848
00:38:32,048 --> 00:38:33,006
So I'm pissed, right?
849
00:38:33,136 --> 00:38:35,269
I am beyond pissed.
850
00:38:35,400 --> 00:38:38,664
So I get in my car and
I run a red light, right.
851
00:38:38,794 --> 00:38:42,972
So the cop is like ma'am, did
you see, uh, the red light,
852
00:38:43,103 --> 00:38:46,106
you know and I was like, uh,
if I knew it was a red light,
853
00:38:46,236 --> 00:38:48,151
I probably wouldn't have ran it
so I'm stupid now, I'm stupid.
854
00:38:48,282 --> 00:38:49,849
Boom, I push him, whatever.
855
00:38:49,979 --> 00:38:52,895
This leads to an illegal
search, in my opinion,
856
00:38:53,026 --> 00:38:57,683
and he comes up with some
prescription pills and I do
857
00:38:57,813 --> 00:39:02,035
have a prescription, ma'am,
for my anxiety but these,
858
00:39:02,165 --> 00:39:03,253
these weren't those pills.
859
00:39:03,384 --> 00:39:06,039
So I go to jail, right.
860
00:39:06,169 --> 00:39:07,736
I go to jail.
861
00:39:07,867 --> 00:39:08,998
He cuffs me, he stuffs me,
we go to jail and he's like
862
00:39:09,129 --> 00:39:11,131
you're gonna need
a lawyer, a lawyer!
863
00:39:11,261 --> 00:39:12,524
So anyway, so this
is where you come in.
864
00:39:12,654 --> 00:39:14,439
I'm gonna need some
help with a lawyer.
865
00:39:14,569 --> 00:39:17,311
Ma'am what does any of this have
to do with CPI or its products?
866
00:39:17,442 --> 00:39:21,228
Have you been listening
to a word I have said?
867
00:39:21,359 --> 00:39:25,537
It was your beef jerky that
gave Ricky the loose poo!
868
00:39:25,667 --> 00:39:30,455
♪
869
00:39:30,585 --> 00:39:35,198
No, no, none of our products
contain chlorofluorocarbons.
870
00:39:35,329 --> 00:39:37,853
CFCs were banned
in the U.S. in 1978.
871
00:39:37,984 --> 00:39:43,511
♪
872
00:39:43,642 --> 00:39:48,255
No, I did not realize you could
use car wax for that purpose.
873
00:39:48,386 --> 00:39:51,476
I'll be sure to pass
along your suggestion.
874
00:39:51,606 --> 00:39:52,868
Okay.
875
00:39:52,999 --> 00:39:55,349
♪
876
00:39:55,480 --> 00:40:00,920
No, no, you cannot get swine flu
from our pepperoni products.
877
00:40:01,050 --> 00:40:03,139
Yes, I'm sure.
878
00:40:03,270 --> 00:40:04,793
Yes.
879
00:40:04,924 --> 00:40:10,016
CPI changes the design on
its boxes from time to time.
880
00:40:10,146 --> 00:40:11,626
You like the picture
of the white lady
881
00:40:11,757 --> 00:40:14,281
eating the cereal better?
882
00:40:14,412 --> 00:40:17,023
I'll be sure to pass
on that comment.
883
00:40:17,153 --> 00:40:18,503
Okay then.
884
00:40:18,633 --> 00:40:20,766
Alright, we'll get that
coupon right out to you.
885
00:40:20,896 --> 00:40:22,855
Okay, have a great day.
886
00:40:38,436 --> 00:40:41,221
[cell phone ringing]
887
00:40:41,351 --> 00:40:42,222
Hey.
888
00:40:42,352 --> 00:40:43,963
Hey.
889
00:40:44,093 --> 00:40:45,051
I was wondering how long you
could go without talking to me.
890
00:40:45,181 --> 00:40:46,618
Yeah, yeah I know.
891
00:40:46,748 --> 00:40:48,271
I just, uh, I was actually
heading to the gym
892
00:40:48,402 --> 00:40:50,360
before you
called and, um --
893
00:40:50,491 --> 00:40:51,623
Oh, I'm sorry.
894
00:40:51,753 --> 00:40:52,711
I've totally been
wasting your time.
895
00:40:52,841 --> 00:40:54,321
No, no that's just it.
896
00:40:54,452 --> 00:40:56,279
I actually went to the gym
like I planned but I just,
897
00:40:56,410 --> 00:41:00,370
um, I couldn't stop
thinking about you.
898
00:41:00,501 --> 00:41:01,371
Really?
899
00:41:01,502 --> 00:41:03,069
Yeah. How weird is that?
900
00:41:03,199 --> 00:41:04,766
I mean, I don't even really
know you but I'm, you know,
901
00:41:04,897 --> 00:41:07,290
I'm sitting there and I just
realize, I'm just picking up
902
00:41:07,421 --> 00:41:09,336
things and putting them
down over and over again,
903
00:41:09,467 --> 00:41:12,992
screw this, I'd rather be
home talking to Erica.
904
00:41:13,122 --> 00:41:14,907
Yeah, I have that
effect on people.
905
00:41:15,037 --> 00:41:16,430
Yeah, I guess you do.
906
00:41:16,561 --> 00:41:21,000
Hey, uh, hang on a sec.
907
00:41:21,130 --> 00:41:23,132
-You there?
-Yeah.
908
00:41:23,263 --> 00:41:26,875
So, it's your dime, what
do you want to talk about now?
909
00:41:27,006 --> 00:41:28,050
It's your dime?
910
00:41:28,181 --> 00:41:29,051
How old are you?
911
00:41:29,182 --> 00:41:32,228
Okay, touche.
912
00:41:32,359 --> 00:41:34,535
No seriously, you know
all about my wonderful life
913
00:41:34,666 --> 00:41:39,409
in consumer affairs so, uh,
what do you do for a living?
914
00:41:39,540 --> 00:41:41,499
Please let it be something
worse than my job.
915
00:41:41,629 --> 00:41:43,326
Ah, I'm sorry
to disappoint.
916
00:41:43,457 --> 00:41:45,546
I'm an EMT.
917
00:41:45,677 --> 00:41:47,243
Of course you are.
918
00:41:47,374 --> 00:41:48,418
What's that
supposed to mean?
919
00:41:48,549 --> 00:41:49,768
An EMT?
920
00:41:49,898 --> 00:41:51,944
Well, it basically
means that you're hot,
921
00:41:52,074 --> 00:41:54,903
you're in great shape and you
actually care about people.
922
00:41:55,034 --> 00:41:57,166
Plus, you make more
money than a fireman so...
923
00:41:57,297 --> 00:42:00,605
Ah, well see actually I'm part
of the unpaid internship program
924
00:42:00,735 --> 00:42:04,478
for indifferent,
ugly people.
925
00:42:04,609 --> 00:42:05,958
I stand corrected.
926
00:42:06,088 --> 00:42:07,350
Yeah, it's new.
927
00:42:07,481 --> 00:42:09,570
I'm not surprised you
haven't heard of it.
928
00:42:09,701 --> 00:42:11,529
Okay, can I tell you
something really disgusting?
929
00:42:11,659 --> 00:42:13,008
Okay.
930
00:42:13,139 --> 00:42:17,186
I just ate an entire
batch of cookie dough mix.
931
00:42:17,317 --> 00:42:18,187
Oh great.
932
00:42:18,318 --> 00:42:19,580
Are you Bulimic?
933
00:42:19,711 --> 00:42:21,147
No, I wish, I wish.
934
00:42:21,277 --> 00:42:22,931
Actually I'm just fat.
935
00:42:23,062 --> 00:42:25,891
That's funny, you don't
look fat in your picture.
936
00:42:26,021 --> 00:42:28,676
What? Wait.
What picture?
937
00:42:28,807 --> 00:42:32,767
The one on Facebook of you
and Samantha in the S&M gear.
938
00:42:32,898 --> 00:42:34,682
It was Halloween!
939
00:42:34,813 --> 00:42:36,292
Yeah, sure it was.
940
00:42:36,423 --> 00:42:38,686
God.
941
00:42:38,817 --> 00:42:39,731
Hey, you know what?
942
00:42:39,861 --> 00:42:42,037
At least you
were the master.
943
00:42:42,168 --> 00:42:43,822
Yeah, you know Sam
and I, you know,
944
00:42:43,952 --> 00:42:46,825
we have a couple of drinks and
then we start to experiment...
945
00:42:46,955 --> 00:42:48,478
Seriously?
946
00:42:48,609 --> 00:42:49,871
No, you perv.
947
00:42:50,002 --> 00:42:52,831
I don't know.
948
00:42:52,961 --> 00:42:54,397
So what else did you
find out while you were
949
00:42:54,528 --> 00:42:55,834
cyber stalking me?
950
00:42:55,964 --> 00:42:58,532
Ah, I was just trying to
put a face to the voice.
951
00:42:58,663 --> 00:43:00,578
Uh-huh.
952
00:43:00,708 --> 00:43:01,840
Admit it.
953
00:43:01,970 --> 00:43:03,319
You just wanted to
see if I was hot.
954
00:43:03,450 --> 00:43:05,539
No.
955
00:43:05,670 --> 00:43:08,847
Yeah, maybe.
956
00:43:08,977 --> 00:43:10,283
And?
957
00:43:10,413 --> 00:43:15,680
Yeah, you uh...yes,
mm-hmm, affirmative.
958
00:43:15,810 --> 00:43:17,029
Okay, that's just not fair
because I have no idea
959
00:43:17,159 --> 00:43:18,247
what you look like so.
960
00:43:18,378 --> 00:43:19,640
Sure you do.
961
00:43:19,771 --> 00:43:21,773
You know I'm extremely
hot, all EMTs are.
962
00:43:21,903 --> 00:43:23,862
Come on!
963
00:43:23,992 --> 00:43:25,559
I sent you
a friend request.
964
00:43:25,690 --> 00:43:27,387
You did?
965
00:43:27,517 --> 00:43:29,432
Hang on.
966
00:43:33,045 --> 00:43:34,916
Kyle McAvoy.
967
00:43:35,047 --> 00:43:38,790
Confirm.
968
00:43:38,920 --> 00:43:41,183
Wait. Seriously?
969
00:43:41,314 --> 00:43:45,013
You have your dog's picture
as your profile pic?
970
00:43:45,144 --> 00:43:46,014
What's wrong with that?
971
00:43:46,145 --> 00:43:47,537
A lot of people do that.
972
00:43:47,668 --> 00:43:49,104
Yeah, if they're like
horribly disfigured
973
00:43:49,235 --> 00:43:51,411
or part of the witness
protection program.
974
00:43:51,541 --> 00:43:53,500
Yeah, or just
love your dog.
975
00:43:53,631 --> 00:43:55,458
Oh well, that's what
Dogbook is for.
976
00:43:55,589 --> 00:43:57,286
Dogbook?
What's Dogbook?
977
00:43:57,417 --> 00:43:58,287
Oh wait, wait, wait.
978
00:43:58,418 --> 00:44:00,942
Here is a real picture.
979
00:44:01,073 --> 00:44:02,770
Oh...
980
00:44:02,901 --> 00:44:03,771
Oh great.
981
00:44:03,902 --> 00:44:04,859
Thank you.
982
00:44:04,990 --> 00:44:05,817
That's just what
I want to hear.
983
00:44:05,947 --> 00:44:07,819
What is the problem now?
984
00:44:07,949 --> 00:44:10,038
Do you sleep with a
lot of women, Kyle?
985
00:44:10,169 --> 00:44:11,736
Excuse me?
986
00:44:11,866 --> 00:44:15,174
You are, uh, you're too good
looking to be monogamous.
987
00:44:15,304 --> 00:44:17,829
I can't believe
you just said that.
988
00:44:17,959 --> 00:44:19,439
[computer phone ringing]
989
00:44:19,569 --> 00:44:20,745
Uh, oh damn.
990
00:44:20,875 --> 00:44:23,486
I've gotta answer
some of these calls.
991
00:44:23,617 --> 00:44:25,532
Just blow them off.
992
00:44:25,663 --> 00:44:26,838
Okay, maybe for
a little while.
993
00:44:26,968 --> 00:44:28,187
Well hang on, hang on.
994
00:44:28,317 --> 00:44:29,101
Let me just check in
with my boss, okay?
995
00:44:29,231 --> 00:44:30,102
Okay, I'll hold.
996
00:44:30,232 --> 00:44:35,107
Okay, hold on.
997
00:44:35,237 --> 00:44:36,891
Hi, Mr. Koffsky.
998
00:44:37,022 --> 00:44:39,981
Hi, yeah it's, it's doing it
again, um, the network's down.
999
00:44:40,112 --> 00:44:41,330
I can't see any calls.
1000
00:44:41,461 --> 00:44:42,636
Damn it, alright.
1001
00:44:42,767 --> 00:44:44,812
Let me see what
I can do on my end.
1002
00:44:44,943 --> 00:44:47,336
Listen, if I can't get this
figured out I'm gonna have
1003
00:44:47,467 --> 00:44:49,948
to send an IT guy over to
check out your computer.
1004
00:44:50,078 --> 00:44:51,950
Yeah, yeah, I mean,
because you know,
1005
00:44:52,080 --> 00:44:54,126
it keeps going in
and out and in and out
1006
00:44:54,256 --> 00:44:56,258
and oh look, look,
I can see them now,
1007
00:44:56,389 --> 00:44:57,564
I can see the calls.
1008
00:44:57,695 --> 00:44:59,609
Oh, yeah, yeah,
they're there.
1009
00:44:59,740 --> 00:45:01,046
Okay, alright, good.
1010
00:45:01,176 --> 00:45:03,744
Well, take the calls and
I'll see what I can do
1011
00:45:03,875 --> 00:45:05,398
about them checking
the server.
1012
00:45:05,528 --> 00:45:06,529
Oh, oh, okay.
1013
00:45:06,660 --> 00:45:07,835
Thanks.
1014
00:45:12,231 --> 00:45:14,929
Okay, where were we?
1015
00:45:15,060 --> 00:45:17,236
You were just telling
me how hot I am.
1016
00:45:17,366 --> 00:45:19,629
Right, and modest.
1017
00:45:19,760 --> 00:45:20,674
So modest.
1018
00:45:20,805 --> 00:45:22,110
-Yeah.
-Yeah.
1019
00:45:22,241 --> 00:45:26,985
Um, okay so what
do you want?
1020
00:45:27,115 --> 00:45:28,029
Right now?
1021
00:45:28,160 --> 00:45:29,988
I could use
some ice cream.
1022
00:45:30,118 --> 00:45:32,468
I thought you just ate
all that cookie dough.
1023
00:45:32,599 --> 00:45:34,296
Yeah and?
1024
00:45:34,427 --> 00:45:36,516
No, I mean,
uh, in life.
1025
00:45:36,646 --> 00:45:37,865
Oh...
1026
00:45:37,996 --> 00:45:39,301
Oh, we're going there.
1027
00:45:39,432 --> 00:45:40,955
Yes, yes, we've entered
the deep thoughts part
1028
00:45:41,086 --> 00:45:43,436
of the conversation.
1029
00:45:43,566 --> 00:45:47,048
Ah, um, I don't know,
what do you want?
1030
00:45:47,179 --> 00:45:48,528
That we're not
talking about me.
1031
00:45:48,658 --> 00:45:50,269
You keep deflecting.
1032
00:45:50,399 --> 00:45:52,271
Eh, I don't know.
1033
00:45:52,401 --> 00:45:54,186
I mean, what
does anyone want?
1034
00:45:54,316 --> 00:45:57,232
Love, happiness.
1035
00:45:57,363 --> 00:45:59,060
I thought you
had a boyfriend.
1036
00:45:59,191 --> 00:46:02,411
Yeah, I do,
forgot, sorry.
1037
00:46:02,542 --> 00:46:08,156
Um, God, I don't,
I mean, you know,
1038
00:46:08,287 --> 00:46:10,332
I know I want
a family someday.
1039
00:46:10,463 --> 00:46:11,594
Ah, see, now we're
getting somewhere.
1040
00:46:11,725 --> 00:46:13,683
Okay, um,
how many kids?
1041
00:46:13,814 --> 00:46:15,163
Maybe three.
1042
00:46:15,294 --> 00:46:16,904
Three, that's
a good number.
1043
00:46:17,035 --> 00:46:18,514
You know, they say that
you want as many kids
1044
00:46:18,645 --> 00:46:20,038
as you grew up with.
1045
00:46:20,168 --> 00:46:21,953
Hmm, that's funny because
I have an older sister
1046
00:46:22,083 --> 00:46:23,084
and a younger brother.
1047
00:46:23,215 --> 00:46:24,433
Oh, well see.
1048
00:46:24,564 --> 00:46:26,261
Yeah, okay.
1049
00:46:26,392 --> 00:46:28,611
And, let's see, what else.
1050
00:46:28,742 --> 00:46:31,005
I majored in
poli-sci in college.
1051
00:46:31,136 --> 00:46:32,006
Ah, where'd you go?
1052
00:46:32,137 --> 00:46:33,660
Cal State Fullerton.
1053
00:46:33,791 --> 00:46:34,661
SUNY Binghamton.
1054
00:46:34,792 --> 00:46:36,445
Ah.
1055
00:46:36,576 --> 00:46:38,621
Yeah, so you know I never really
wanted to work in Washington,
1056
00:46:38,752 --> 00:46:41,233
I mean, I wasn't that
interested in politics.
1057
00:46:41,363 --> 00:46:43,583
What are you
interested in?
1058
00:46:43,713 --> 00:46:45,933
Uh, nothing.
1059
00:46:46,064 --> 00:46:49,807
See, I'm not buying that, I know
from your Facebook page that
1060
00:46:49,937 --> 00:46:53,201
you're part of the unnecessary
quotation mark hunters group.
1061
00:46:53,332 --> 00:46:55,595
Yes!
I hate that shit.
1062
00:46:55,725 --> 00:46:57,031
Like when you go up to the
register and there's a sign
1063
00:46:57,162 --> 00:47:00,339
that says no checks please
in quotation marks.
1064
00:47:00,469 --> 00:47:03,908
Like, uh, "No checks please,"
said John the owner.
1065
00:47:04,038 --> 00:47:05,126
Yeah.
1066
00:47:05,257 --> 00:47:06,301
Or it's facetious.
1067
00:47:06,432 --> 00:47:07,868
Right.
1068
00:47:07,999 --> 00:47:08,956
So actually maybe, you know,
they do take checks.
1069
00:47:09,087 --> 00:47:10,131
Right, right.
1070
00:47:10,262 --> 00:47:12,090
[laughter]
1071
00:47:12,220 --> 00:47:15,093
Okay, so, um, you don't love
your job but you can't quit
1072
00:47:15,223 --> 00:47:17,182
because you don't know
what else you want to do.
1073
00:47:17,312 --> 00:47:18,400
Exactly.
1074
00:47:18,531 --> 00:47:20,054
Exactly.
1075
00:47:20,185 --> 00:47:21,316
Alright, well, I think you
should just a write a book
1076
00:47:21,447 --> 00:47:23,841
about life as
a Consumer Affairs Rep.
1077
00:47:23,971 --> 00:47:25,451
Oh yeah, I should do that.
1078
00:47:25,581 --> 00:47:26,539
I should totally do that.
1079
00:47:26,669 --> 00:47:28,367
I'm serious.
1080
00:47:28,497 --> 00:47:30,456
Tales from the trenches, most
ridiculous stories, you know,
1081
00:47:30,586 --> 00:47:33,154
dumbest people, just all the
crazy shit you deal with
1082
00:47:33,285 --> 00:47:34,286
every day.
1083
00:47:34,416 --> 00:47:35,591
You don't know
the half of it.
1084
00:47:35,722 --> 00:47:38,246
Yeah, well let me --
Let me listen in.
1085
00:47:38,377 --> 00:47:40,161
Yeah right.
1086
00:47:40,292 --> 00:47:41,510
No, I'm serious.
1087
00:47:41,641 --> 00:47:42,468
There's gotta be a way
you can connect me
1088
00:47:42,598 --> 00:47:44,252
into your calls, right?
1089
00:47:44,383 --> 00:47:45,601
Yeah, I mean, it's
easy to do, it's just,
1090
00:47:45,732 --> 00:47:46,733
I mean, what would
be the point?
1091
00:47:46,864 --> 00:47:48,735
I'm curious.
1092
00:47:48,866 --> 00:47:51,259
Besides I can hear your phone
beeping in the background.
1093
00:47:51,390 --> 00:47:53,131
I know you gotta take
some of those calls.
1094
00:47:53,261 --> 00:47:57,048
Uh...
1095
00:47:57,178 --> 00:48:00,747
Okay, let's do it.
1096
00:48:00,878 --> 00:48:04,055
Okay but, okay I'm gonna
hang up and call you back
1097
00:48:04,185 --> 00:48:06,144
but you have to be quiet okay,
because I can't mute it.
1098
00:48:06,274 --> 00:48:07,493
You got it.
1099
00:48:07,623 --> 00:48:09,321
Alright.
1100
00:48:20,636 --> 00:48:21,811
Hey. Are you there?
1101
00:48:21,942 --> 00:48:22,900
Yep.
1102
00:48:23,030 --> 00:48:25,032
Okay, don't say
anything, okay?
1103
00:48:25,163 --> 00:48:26,033
You got it.
1104
00:48:26,164 --> 00:48:27,252
Okay.
1105
00:48:31,778 --> 00:48:34,650
Hi, you've reached CPI Consumer
Affairs, this is Erica.
1106
00:48:34,781 --> 00:48:35,956
And which one of our
fabulous products
1107
00:48:36,087 --> 00:48:37,349
are you calling
about today?
1108
00:48:37,479 --> 00:48:38,698
Uh, yeah, hello.
1109
00:48:38,828 --> 00:48:40,047
I'm calling about
your refried beans.
1110
00:48:40,178 --> 00:48:42,702
Okay, and how
can I help you?
1111
00:48:42,832 --> 00:48:45,009
Well, I was just wondering
if you all sold beans
1112
00:48:45,139 --> 00:48:46,967
that were just
once fried?
1113
00:48:47,098 --> 00:48:49,143
Um, excuse me?
1114
00:48:49,274 --> 00:48:51,841
Well, well you see, I just
started this new diet and I
1115
00:48:51,972 --> 00:48:54,453
thought I would cut back on the
refried beans and just you know
1116
00:48:54,583 --> 00:48:57,282
get beans that were once fried,
but then I couldn't find them
1117
00:48:57,412 --> 00:48:59,588
anywhere and then the man down
at the Kroger said that
1118
00:48:59,719 --> 00:49:01,851
he ain't never heard of such
a thing as a once fried bean.
1119
00:49:01,982 --> 00:49:03,941
Oh, you know what I have some
good news for you today, ma'am.
1120
00:49:04,071 --> 00:49:06,030
Our refried beans
are only fried once.
1121
00:49:06,160 --> 00:49:07,901
Then why you call them refried?
1122
00:49:08,032 --> 00:49:10,817
Well, that actually is
a very common question.
1123
00:49:10,948 --> 00:49:14,864
Actually, refried beans are not
fried and then fried again.
1124
00:49:14,995 --> 00:49:17,780
It comes from a mistranslation
of the Spanish
1125
00:49:17,911 --> 00:49:20,174
"frijoles refritos."
1126
00:49:20,305 --> 00:49:22,437
See in Spanish you put a "re"
in front of the word to make
1127
00:49:22,568 --> 00:49:26,702
an emphasis, so literally
frijoles refritos translates
1128
00:49:26,833 --> 00:49:29,967
to "well fried beans,"
but English speakers assume
1129
00:49:30,097 --> 00:49:32,534
the "re" means "again"
like in English,
1130
00:49:32,665 --> 00:49:35,320
so they mistranslate
it to refried beans.
1131
00:49:35,450 --> 00:49:39,019
But rest assured CPI's refried
beans are only fried once and
1132
00:49:39,150 --> 00:49:42,066
in fact, our nonfat refried
beans aren't fried at all.
1133
00:49:42,196 --> 00:49:47,027
Okay, uh, so do you sell just
once fried beans or not?
1134
00:49:47,158 --> 00:49:50,509
Yes ma'am, we make
once fried beans,
1135
00:49:50,639 --> 00:49:51,901
we just call them
refried beans.
1136
00:49:52,032 --> 00:49:54,252
Okay.
1137
00:49:54,382 --> 00:49:56,167
You see, that don't
make no damn sense.
1138
00:49:56,297 --> 00:49:58,604
Well, I just explained, ma'am,
it comes from the mistranslation
1139
00:49:58,734 --> 00:50:00,649
of the Spanish
for ref --
1140
00:50:00,780 --> 00:50:03,000
Okay, whatever!
1141
00:50:03,130 --> 00:50:05,089
Bitch!
1142
00:50:05,219 --> 00:50:08,875
[laughing]
Okay.
1143
00:50:09,006 --> 00:50:10,920
Uh, you are such a liar.
1144
00:50:11,051 --> 00:50:13,184
You have the greatest
job on Earth.
1145
00:50:13,314 --> 00:50:15,099
What are you
talking about?
1146
00:50:15,229 --> 00:50:17,971
You get paid to surf the
Internet for fascinating trivia.
1147
00:50:18,102 --> 00:50:19,929
-No, I don't.
-Yes, you do.
1148
00:50:20,060 --> 00:50:21,975
You're like
a human Googler.
1149
00:50:22,106 --> 00:50:24,064
If I have a question, I'm not
just gonna look up the answer on
1150
00:50:24,195 --> 00:50:27,720
my own, I'm gonna call you and
you're gonna look it up for me.
1151
00:50:27,850 --> 00:50:30,114
I'm reading off
of our product page.
1152
00:50:30,244 --> 00:50:32,159
Still, I didn't know that
about refried beans.
1153
00:50:32,290 --> 00:50:33,769
Oh, yeah.
1154
00:50:33,900 --> 00:50:35,902
Well, you know, I'm sure there
are several CPI products
1155
00:50:36,033 --> 00:50:37,599
that would be of
interest to you.
1156
00:50:37,730 --> 00:50:40,254
Let's do another one.
1157
00:50:40,385 --> 00:50:43,823
Uh, okay, hang on.
1158
00:50:43,953 --> 00:50:46,695
Going again.
1159
00:50:46,826 --> 00:50:49,394
Hi, welcome to CPI Consumer
Affairs, this is Erica.
1160
00:50:49,524 --> 00:50:50,699
Which one of our
fabulous products
1161
00:50:50,830 --> 00:50:52,092
are you calling
about today?
1162
00:50:52,223 --> 00:50:54,573
Well, I'm not sure
the name of it.
1163
00:50:54,703 --> 00:50:56,662
Okay, uh, was it
a food product?
1164
00:50:56,792 --> 00:50:57,924
Yes.
1165
00:50:58,055 --> 00:50:59,839
They had this cereal
on the cruise
1166
00:50:59,969 --> 00:51:01,928
that Marvin
really enjoyed.
1167
00:51:02,059 --> 00:51:05,236
Okay, so you need the name of
the cereal so you can buy it
1168
00:51:05,366 --> 00:51:06,541
for your husband, Marvin?
1169
00:51:06,672 --> 00:51:08,456
Marvin's not my husband.
1170
00:51:08,587 --> 00:51:13,635
My husband Leonard died 22 years
ago this May, God rest his soul.
1171
00:51:13,766 --> 00:51:15,202
Okay, who's Marvin?
1172
00:51:15,333 --> 00:51:17,509
None of your business, nosy.
1173
00:51:17,639 --> 00:51:19,815
My apologies, ma'am.
1174
00:51:19,946 --> 00:51:24,211
Okay, well CPI makes dozens
of delicious cereals.
1175
00:51:24,342 --> 00:51:25,517
What did it taste like?
1176
00:51:25,647 --> 00:51:26,561
I don't know.
1177
00:51:26,692 --> 00:51:27,736
I didn't have any.
1178
00:51:27,867 --> 00:51:29,695
Marvin couldn't
get enough of it.
1179
00:51:29,825 --> 00:51:31,523
I don't care for cereal.
1180
00:51:31,653 --> 00:51:34,569
Uh, well, well you're not giving
me a lot to go on here, ma'am.
1181
00:51:34,700 --> 00:51:36,528
Well, I think it
had raisins in it.
1182
00:51:36,658 --> 00:51:37,833
Uh, okay.
1183
00:51:37,964 --> 00:51:39,270
Uh, was it
Raisin Bran perhaps?
1184
00:51:39,400 --> 00:51:42,099
I think I'd recognize
Raisin Bran, young lady.
1185
00:51:42,229 --> 00:51:43,796
Do you think
I'm an idiot?
1186
00:51:43,926 --> 00:51:47,016
Uh, no ma'am, I'm just
trying to nail down
1187
00:51:47,147 --> 00:51:48,975
this mysterious
cereal here.
1188
00:51:49,106 --> 00:51:51,499
Oh and now you're
getting smart with me.
1189
00:51:51,630 --> 00:51:53,240
Uh, okay.
1190
00:51:53,371 --> 00:51:54,372
You know what, our website has
pictures and descriptions
1191
00:51:54,502 --> 00:51:55,590
of all of our cereals.
1192
00:51:55,721 --> 00:51:57,375
No, no, no, no, no, no.
1193
00:51:57,505 --> 00:52:00,813
If I wanted to use all that
World Wide Web stuff,
1194
00:52:00,943 --> 00:52:02,858
I wouldn't have to
call you now, would I?
1195
00:52:02,989 --> 00:52:05,731
Can you tell me the name
of the cereal or not?
1196
00:52:05,861 --> 00:52:08,081
Uh, ma'am, are you certain
it's a CPI product?
1197
00:52:08,212 --> 00:52:11,128
You know, Kellogg's and Post
also make cereals with raisins.
1198
00:52:11,258 --> 00:52:14,957
That's right, pass the buck,
pass the buck to someone else.
1199
00:52:15,088 --> 00:52:17,003
That's what's wrong
with this country today,
1200
00:52:17,134 --> 00:52:19,397
everyone's trying
to pass the buck.
1201
00:52:19,527 --> 00:52:23,531
Hello, the box
had C-P-I on it.
1202
00:52:23,662 --> 00:52:27,970
I think it had
raisins and nuts.
1203
00:52:28,101 --> 00:52:30,059
Hello ma'am, this is
Sven Jorgenson from
1204
00:52:30,190 --> 00:52:33,150
CPI Consumer Affairs,
I'm Erica's supervisor
1205
00:52:33,280 --> 00:52:35,021
and I've been monitoring
this call.
1206
00:52:35,152 --> 00:52:37,284
Uh, I got this Sven.
1207
00:52:37,415 --> 00:52:40,157
Ma'am, was the cereal
a Harvest Grain Medley?
1208
00:52:40,287 --> 00:52:44,161
Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes,
that's the name of it!
1209
00:52:44,291 --> 00:52:46,032
Yes.
I thought it might be.
1210
00:52:46,163 --> 00:52:47,599
How did you know, Sven?
1211
00:52:47,729 --> 00:52:49,470
Ma'am, I'm so sorry
Erica wasn't able
1212
00:52:49,601 --> 00:52:51,255
to answer your
question today.
1213
00:52:51,385 --> 00:52:52,995
And she's fresh too.
1214
00:52:53,126 --> 00:52:56,042
She's arrogant and she doesn't
know her product line.
1215
00:52:56,173 --> 00:52:58,262
Yes, Erica does have
a very smart mouth.
1216
00:52:58,392 --> 00:52:59,306
Hold on a second.
1217
00:52:59,437 --> 00:53:01,090
For that I apologize
as well.
1218
00:53:01,221 --> 00:53:05,617
As a token of our appreciation
and as a courtesy for our poor
1219
00:53:05,747 --> 00:53:08,837
customer service, we are going
to be sending you a brand new,
1220
00:53:08,968 --> 00:53:11,275
free CPI microwave oven.
1221
00:53:11,405 --> 00:53:13,190
Oh, really?
1222
00:53:13,320 --> 00:53:14,365
No, no.
No, we're not.
1223
00:53:14,495 --> 00:53:16,236
Yes we are, just
stay on the line
1224
00:53:16,367 --> 00:53:18,630
and we will get
your information.
1225
00:53:18,760 --> 00:53:20,588
Now if you hear a dial tone,
that doesn't mean you were
1226
00:53:20,719 --> 00:53:23,287
disconnected, it just means
that we are processing
1227
00:53:23,417 --> 00:53:26,594
your brand new
CPI microwave oven.
1228
00:53:26,725 --> 00:53:29,380
Oh, well, that's
more like it.
1229
00:53:29,510 --> 00:53:30,816
Thank you,
Mr. Jorgenson.
1230
00:53:30,946 --> 00:53:32,296
No, thank you
so much.
1231
00:53:32,426 --> 00:53:33,775
Now please hold.
1232
00:53:35,212 --> 00:53:37,170
Uh, that was mean.
1233
00:53:37,301 --> 00:53:38,998
Yeah, she deserved
it though.
1234
00:53:39,128 --> 00:53:40,869
Yeah maybe, but now she's
just gonna call back
1235
00:53:41,000 --> 00:53:42,219
and demand her oven.
1236
00:53:42,349 --> 00:53:44,221
Sorry.
I just got carried away.
1237
00:53:44,351 --> 00:53:46,135
Yeah, but you can't give
away microwave ovens.
1238
00:53:46,266 --> 00:53:47,920
-What, you can't?
-No, you can't.
1239
00:53:48,050 --> 00:53:49,443
Oh.
1240
00:53:49,574 --> 00:53:50,705
You know, they do monitor
some of these calls.
1241
00:53:50,836 --> 00:53:52,272
Oh my gosh and
she has my name.
1242
00:53:52,403 --> 00:53:54,056
I'm gonna get fired.
1243
00:53:54,187 --> 00:53:55,536
I thought you
hated your job?
1244
00:53:55,667 --> 00:53:58,713
Uh, yeah, but I hate being
homeless even more.
1245
00:53:58,844 --> 00:54:00,585
It was fun though?
1246
00:54:00,715 --> 00:54:03,544
Yeah, fine, fun, but I'm
sure it'd be fun to go on
1247
00:54:03,675 --> 00:54:05,894
a ride-along with you and go
through your passenger's wallets
1248
00:54:06,025 --> 00:54:07,200
while you're
reviving them.
1249
00:54:07,331 --> 00:54:08,506
Who told you we do that?
1250
00:54:08,636 --> 00:54:10,682
A-ha!
1251
00:54:10,812 --> 00:54:13,902
Look, I can't quit my job
because I have absolutely
1252
00:54:14,033 --> 00:54:16,078
no marketable skills
whatsoever.
1253
00:54:16,209 --> 00:54:18,080
Unless somebody's
looking for archers.
1254
00:54:18,211 --> 00:54:19,865
Yes, yes.
1255
00:54:19,995 --> 00:54:22,868
Someone with a moat and
unruly barbarian neighbors.
1256
00:54:22,998 --> 00:54:24,391
Yeah, have you considered
talking to head hunters
1257
00:54:24,522 --> 00:54:26,437
about a career
in long bow work?
1258
00:54:26,567 --> 00:54:28,003
Yes, actually.
1259
00:54:28,134 --> 00:54:29,875
Hey, have you ever answered
a call like pretending
1260
00:54:30,005 --> 00:54:31,093
to be a machine
or something?
1261
00:54:31,224 --> 00:54:32,312
Oh yeah,
all the time.
1262
00:54:32,443 --> 00:54:34,314
Yeah like, you'd go,
beep, you know,
1263
00:54:34,445 --> 00:54:37,709
press one for more options
or something like that.
1264
00:54:37,839 --> 00:54:39,101
Let's give it a shot.
1265
00:54:39,232 --> 00:54:40,842
-Yes!
-Hang on.
1266
00:54:40,973 --> 00:54:43,845
♪
1267
00:54:43,976 --> 00:54:44,890
Okay, are you ready?
1268
00:54:45,020 --> 00:54:46,239
Yeah.
1269
00:54:46,370 --> 00:54:50,156
♪
1270
00:54:50,287 --> 00:54:55,204
For questions or comments about
our canned goods, press one.
1271
00:54:55,335 --> 00:54:58,338
For electronic items,
press two.
1272
00:54:58,469 --> 00:55:03,561
For dry goods like cereals
or pancake mix, press three.
1273
00:55:03,691 --> 00:55:08,740
Dry goods, if you are calling
because you found a stone
1274
00:55:08,870 --> 00:55:12,483
in your stone-ground
oatmeal, press one.
1275
00:55:12,613 --> 00:55:14,702
If you have a question
about how to use one of
1276
00:55:14,833 --> 00:55:19,228
our fantastic granola bar
products, press two.
1277
00:55:19,359 --> 00:55:24,103
For all other questions
or concerns, press three.
1278
00:55:24,233 --> 00:55:27,149
You've reached the
CPI bacon hotline.
1279
00:55:27,280 --> 00:55:29,413
If you're calling with
a question or concern
1280
00:55:29,543 --> 00:55:31,502
about frying, press one.
1281
00:55:31,632 --> 00:55:34,505
If you're calling about how to
make your bacon even smokier,
1282
00:55:34,635 --> 00:55:39,118
go on and press two.
1283
00:55:39,248 --> 00:55:41,338
You pressed
the wrong number.
1284
00:55:41,468 --> 00:55:43,644
For questions or comments
about giving bacon
1285
00:55:43,775 --> 00:55:48,083
as a gift,
press three.
1286
00:55:48,214 --> 00:55:49,868
Operator!
1287
00:55:49,998 --> 00:55:51,957
You've reached CPI
Consumer Affairs.
1288
00:55:52,087 --> 00:55:53,654
For English, press one.
1289
00:55:53,785 --> 00:55:55,743
I already did that!
1290
00:55:55,874 --> 00:55:57,266
Cheerio.
1291
00:55:57,397 --> 00:55:59,312
For queries about our scones
and tea cake mix,
1292
00:55:59,443 --> 00:56:01,749
kindly depress the
zed key presently.
1293
00:56:01,880 --> 00:56:04,143
Oh, what the shit
is the zed key?
1294
00:56:04,273 --> 00:56:05,797
I give up.
1295
00:56:05,927 --> 00:56:07,102
That was classic.
1296
00:56:07,233 --> 00:56:09,453
[laughing]
1297
00:56:09,583 --> 00:56:10,671
Oh my God.
1298
00:56:10,802 --> 00:56:12,151
I'm getting fired!
1299
00:56:12,281 --> 00:56:14,153
[laughing]
1300
00:56:19,898 --> 00:56:23,205
You see, you got
a career in comedy.
1301
00:56:23,336 --> 00:56:26,121
I'm serious, you should
write about this stuff.
1302
00:56:26,252 --> 00:56:28,820
Oh my gosh!
I like you so much.
1303
00:56:28,950 --> 00:56:32,258
I...wow, I'm sorry,
that was weird.
1304
00:56:32,389 --> 00:56:33,694
Nah, that's okay.
1305
00:56:33,825 --> 00:56:35,087
I like you too.
1306
00:56:35,217 --> 00:56:38,090
I'm totally embarrassed.
1307
00:56:38,220 --> 00:56:40,266
It's okay, Erica.
1308
00:56:40,397 --> 00:56:42,790
You said what you were
feeling, that's okay.
1309
00:56:42,921 --> 00:56:44,183
That's enjoyable.
1310
00:56:44,313 --> 00:56:45,880
Who cares?
1311
00:56:46,011 --> 00:56:48,883
Uh, let's talk about
something else, okay?
1312
00:56:49,014 --> 00:56:54,628
Okay, uh, you ready to
talk about your boyfriend?
1313
00:56:54,759 --> 00:56:55,629
Yeah.
1314
00:56:55,760 --> 00:56:57,109
Yeah, sure.
1315
00:56:57,239 --> 00:57:00,068
Let's, um, let's talk
about my boyfriend.
1316
00:57:00,199 --> 00:57:02,027
I guess I know you
well enough now.
1317
00:57:02,157 --> 00:57:04,116
I could give you my
social security number.
1318
00:57:04,246 --> 00:57:05,683
Yes and your
bank statements.
1319
00:57:05,813 --> 00:57:06,901
Right.
1320
00:57:07,032 --> 00:57:08,729
Uh, okay...
1321
00:57:08,860 --> 00:57:10,427
So, uh, here's the story.
1322
00:57:10,557 --> 00:57:15,170
Um, Alex works at this big
pharmaceutical company and, uh,
1323
00:57:15,301 --> 00:57:19,131
he's the regional sales manager
and one of the associates on
1324
00:57:19,261 --> 00:57:25,616
his team is this slutty, totally
slutty girl named Amanda.
1325
00:57:25,746 --> 00:57:27,356
I like her already.
1326
00:57:27,487 --> 00:57:30,142
Yeah, well, she knows that Alex
and I are together and yet,
1327
00:57:30,272 --> 00:57:33,450
she insists on plying
him with little gifts
1328
00:57:33,580 --> 00:57:36,453
and calling him on the
weekends just to talk.
1329
00:57:36,583 --> 00:57:38,846
So they're friends.
1330
00:57:38,977 --> 00:57:42,459
Yeah right.
1331
00:57:42,589 --> 00:57:45,636
Anyway, I've seen the texts
she sent Alex and it's like
1332
00:57:45,766 --> 00:57:50,031
she's basically all but inviting
him over for a booty call and I
1333
00:57:50,162 --> 00:57:52,991
confronted Alex about it and he
was like oh you know, she's just
1334
00:57:53,121 --> 00:57:57,822
kidding, whatever, like it was
some sort of inside office joke.
1335
00:57:57,952 --> 00:58:00,868
Okay, so maybe they're
sleeping together, maybe not.
1336
00:58:00,999 --> 00:58:05,569
Okay, then last Friday my friend
Sara saw the two of them
1337
00:58:05,699 --> 00:58:08,180
together at the Olive Garden
and they were totally --
1338
00:58:08,310 --> 00:58:09,921
Wait. Hold up.
1339
00:58:10,051 --> 00:58:11,139
Stop right there.
1340
00:58:11,270 --> 00:58:16,101
The Olive Garden,
seriously?
1341
00:58:16,231 --> 00:58:17,450
Yeah. Why?
1342
00:58:17,581 --> 00:58:20,453
People really go to
the Olive Garden?
1343
00:58:20,584 --> 00:58:22,629
Yes, people really go
to the Olive Garden
1344
00:58:22,760 --> 00:58:24,065
and what does that have
to do with anything?
1345
00:58:24,196 --> 00:58:25,458
Nothing, it's just --
okay, have you ever seen
1346
00:58:25,589 --> 00:58:27,068
commercials for
the Olive Garden?
1347
00:58:27,199 --> 00:58:29,636
Where they've got that garlic
parmesan cheese sauce or
1348
00:58:29,767 --> 00:58:35,555
whatever the hell it is, it
looks like throw up, you know?
1349
00:58:35,686 --> 00:58:36,948
Yeah, it kind of does.
1350
00:58:37,078 --> 00:58:38,689
I mean, I would rather
eat a plate of vomit
1351
00:58:38,819 --> 00:58:42,519
than that cream sauce.
1352
00:58:42,649 --> 00:58:46,348
Okay, Olive Garden cream
sauce looks like vomit.
1353
00:58:46,479 --> 00:58:48,568
What, did the Olive Garden
kill your dog or something?
1354
00:58:48,699 --> 00:58:50,527
Yeah, like I'd take my dog
anywhere near that place.
1355
00:58:50,657 --> 00:58:53,051
Now if you want
really good Italian,
1356
00:58:53,181 --> 00:58:55,488
there's this incredible
place on Sullivan Street.
1357
00:58:55,619 --> 00:58:59,492
They've got this
unbelievable veal parmesan.
1358
00:58:59,623 --> 00:59:01,363
See, I'm a
vegetarian so...
1359
00:59:01,494 --> 00:59:03,975
Right, I forgot, I'm dealing
with Miss California here.
1360
00:59:04,105 --> 00:59:07,369
Okay well there's an eggplant
parm, it's really good there.
1361
00:59:07,500 --> 00:59:09,371
Ah.
1362
00:59:09,502 --> 00:59:10,982
Are you Italian
or something?
1363
00:59:11,112 --> 00:59:16,509
No I'm Scotch-Irish but,
uh, I mean, come on, I can,
1364
00:59:16,640 --> 00:59:18,424
I know the difference between
good Italian food
1365
00:59:18,555 --> 00:59:20,513
and the Olive Garden.
1366
00:59:20,644 --> 00:59:22,080
Okay, are you done?
1367
00:59:22,210 --> 00:59:23,516
Yes, sorry.
1368
00:59:23,647 --> 00:59:26,258
So, uh, your classy
boyfriend took his hot,
1369
00:59:26,388 --> 00:59:29,000
young co-worker out for
a fine meal of breadsticks
1370
00:59:29,130 --> 00:59:31,437
and endless salad.
1371
00:59:31,568 --> 00:59:34,135
Yes, and they're both sitting
on the same side of the booth,
1372
00:59:34,266 --> 00:59:35,833
totally cuddling.
1373
00:59:35,963 --> 00:59:37,399
Did they kiss?
1374
00:59:37,530 --> 00:59:40,011
No, but you can tell
from their body language
1375
00:59:40,141 --> 00:59:41,665
that something
is going on.
1376
00:59:41,795 --> 00:59:44,232
According to Sara who
told you this directly?
1377
00:59:44,363 --> 00:59:47,409
No, according to Sara
who told my best friend Sam
1378
00:59:47,540 --> 00:59:49,194
and she told me directly.
1379
00:59:49,324 --> 00:59:50,891
Yeah...I don't know.
1380
00:59:51,022 --> 00:59:53,154
I mean, even if what Sara
saw was conveyed accurately,
1381
00:59:53,285 --> 00:59:55,461
I mean, who knows
what that means.
1382
00:59:55,592 --> 00:59:57,855
So you don't think
he's cheating on me?
1383
00:59:57,985 --> 00:59:59,683
You want to
know the truth?
1384
00:59:59,813 --> 01:00:01,772
Yeah, of course I want
to know the truth.
1385
01:00:01,902 --> 01:00:05,166
The truth is it's
over either way.
1386
01:00:05,297 --> 01:00:08,039
Okay, say he's
cheating, right.
1387
01:00:08,169 --> 01:00:12,260
That's an easy one, you dump his
ass unless you're one of those
1388
01:00:12,391 --> 01:00:15,655
women who wants to grow up and
live the rest of your life
1389
01:00:15,786 --> 01:00:18,658
with a philandering husband
that you think you can change.
1390
01:00:18,789 --> 01:00:20,834
Okay so, what if
he's not cheating?
1391
01:00:20,965 --> 01:00:22,314
It doesn't matter.
1392
01:00:22,444 --> 01:00:24,403
You're already with
someone you don't trust,
1393
01:00:24,533 --> 01:00:30,235
you can't talk to and you
don't love, so who cares.
1394
01:00:30,365 --> 01:00:32,324
But I do love him.
1395
01:00:32,454 --> 01:00:34,065
Oh.
1396
01:00:34,195 --> 01:00:35,240
[laughing]
1397
01:00:35,370 --> 01:00:37,634
Sorry, I have to gag.
1398
01:00:37,764 --> 01:00:38,896
Are you serious?
1399
01:00:39,026 --> 01:00:40,506
Really?
1400
01:00:40,637 --> 01:00:42,682
I mean, is your self-esteem
so low that you think
1401
01:00:42,813 --> 01:00:45,337
this guy is the
best you can do?
1402
01:00:45,467 --> 01:00:46,947
Come on.
1403
01:00:47,078 --> 01:00:48,122
I mean, are you that insecure
that you don't think
1404
01:00:48,253 --> 01:00:50,603
you deserve
someone better?
1405
01:00:50,734 --> 01:00:52,474
Someone like you?
1406
01:00:52,605 --> 01:00:54,389
Yeah, okay.
1407
01:00:54,520 --> 01:00:57,175
Someone like me.
1408
01:00:57,305 --> 01:01:01,309
Okay, Kyle McAvoy,
tell me, if you're so great,
1409
01:01:01,440 --> 01:01:03,094
why are you still single?
1410
01:01:03,224 --> 01:01:05,618
Ah right, of course,
'cause if a man is available
1411
01:01:05,749 --> 01:01:08,099
then there must be something
wrong with him.
1412
01:01:08,229 --> 01:01:09,709
Well that's been
my experience, yes.
1413
01:01:09,840 --> 01:01:11,406
Okay.
1414
01:01:11,537 --> 01:01:14,192
Well, FYI, I just got out of
a relationship with a woman,
1415
01:01:14,322 --> 01:01:16,890
and I use that term loosely,
who was giving blow jobs
1416
01:01:17,021 --> 01:01:19,806
to strangers for cocaine
and when I ended it,
1417
01:01:19,937 --> 01:01:22,026
she tried to
kill herself.
1418
01:01:22,156 --> 01:01:24,419
Wow!
1419
01:01:24,550 --> 01:01:27,814
You must be a great
judge of character.
1420
01:01:27,945 --> 01:01:29,250
Yeah, thank you.
1421
01:01:29,381 --> 01:01:31,644
And by the way, I think
she stole my watch.
1422
01:01:31,775 --> 01:01:34,516
[laughing]
1423
01:01:34,647 --> 01:01:35,996
I'm sorry,
that's funny.
1424
01:01:36,127 --> 01:01:37,737
It is,
it's hysterical.
1425
01:01:37,868 --> 01:01:39,696
You had no idea
about any of this?
1426
01:01:39,826 --> 01:01:44,004
No, I mean, yeah now, sure
it seems obvious, I mean,
1427
01:01:44,135 --> 01:01:48,617
why was she having bloody noses
all the time and herpes,
1428
01:01:48,748 --> 01:01:50,576
but love blinds
you, you know.
1429
01:01:50,707 --> 01:01:52,970
Yeah, I guess.
1430
01:01:53,100 --> 01:01:55,233
P.S. I don't
have herpes.
1431
01:01:55,363 --> 01:01:56,887
Oh, congratulations,
that's good.
1432
01:01:57,017 --> 01:01:58,453
Yeah, thank you.
1433
01:01:58,584 --> 01:02:01,195
I'm glad I, uh,
dodged that bullet.
1434
01:02:01,326 --> 01:02:04,633
Look, I'm sorry I, uh, I guess
I don't know you all that well
1435
01:02:04,764 --> 01:02:06,331
but it just seems to
me that you either,
1436
01:02:06,461 --> 01:02:09,987
you demand that people
treat you with respect
1437
01:02:10,117 --> 01:02:13,294
or you just get walked on
the rest of your life.
1438
01:02:13,425 --> 01:02:15,035
I mean then,
what then?
1439
01:02:15,166 --> 01:02:21,085
Say I...say I do everything
you're saying and I quit my job
1440
01:02:21,215 --> 01:02:27,787
and I break up with my boyfriend
and I strip my life down bare
1441
01:02:27,918 --> 01:02:33,575
to the few things that I'm
actually proud of, then what?
1442
01:02:33,706 --> 01:02:36,056
I mean, so what then?
1443
01:02:36,187 --> 01:02:39,320
♪
1444
01:02:39,451 --> 01:02:41,627
Then you hold
your head up high
1445
01:02:41,758 --> 01:02:45,109
and you venture out
into the unknown.
1446
01:02:45,239 --> 01:02:48,982
Instead of playing it safe
with what you know,
1447
01:02:49,113 --> 01:02:52,551
you take a chance
on what could be.
1448
01:02:52,681 --> 01:02:56,120
♪
1449
01:02:56,250 --> 01:02:59,993
It sounds so romantic
when you say it.
1450
01:03:00,124 --> 01:03:02,648
Uh...
1451
01:03:02,779 --> 01:03:05,433
So what's it gonna be?
1452
01:03:05,564 --> 01:03:09,394
♪
1453
01:03:09,524 --> 01:03:10,395
[phone beeping]
1454
01:03:10,525 --> 01:03:12,179
Oh, hold on.
1455
01:03:12,310 --> 01:03:13,528
Crap, that's him.
1456
01:03:13,659 --> 01:03:16,793
I've gotta go, I have
to take this call.
1457
01:03:16,923 --> 01:03:18,664
I'll call you back?
1458
01:03:18,795 --> 01:03:19,665
Good luck.
1459
01:03:19,796 --> 01:03:21,058
Thank you.
1460
01:03:23,321 --> 01:03:24,365
Hey.
1461
01:03:24,496 --> 01:03:25,410
Hey babe.
1462
01:03:25,540 --> 01:03:27,064
I'm getting
out of here.
1463
01:03:27,194 --> 01:03:28,369
You still
coming over?
1464
01:03:28,500 --> 01:03:32,199
Um, yeah...I mean,
I don't know.
1465
01:03:32,330 --> 01:03:35,420
Look, we need to talk.
1466
01:03:35,550 --> 01:03:37,901
Oh Jesus, here we go.
1467
01:03:38,031 --> 01:03:42,731
I just think that our
relationship is in trouble
1468
01:03:42,862 --> 01:03:45,430
if we can't talk about
the situation with Amanda
1469
01:03:45,560 --> 01:03:46,866
like mature adults.
1470
01:03:46,997 --> 01:03:48,433
Are you finished?
1471
01:03:48,563 --> 01:03:49,782
No.
1472
01:03:49,913 --> 01:03:51,479
I just think that
we need to really --
1473
01:03:51,610 --> 01:03:58,399
Look, Erica, I love you but
this bullshit has got to stop.
1474
01:03:59,226 --> 01:04:02,186
I can't spend all my time
arguing with you
1475
01:04:02,316 --> 01:04:06,320
about something that
didn't even happen.
1476
01:04:06,451 --> 01:04:08,105
I just want you to
be honest with me.
1477
01:04:08,235 --> 01:04:09,541
[phone buzzing]
1478
01:04:09,671 --> 01:04:12,413
You want me to be
honest with you? Hmm?
1479
01:04:12,544 --> 01:04:15,764
Alright, here's a
dose of reality.
1480
01:04:15,895 --> 01:04:19,943
I am about this close to
ending this with you, okay?
1481
01:04:20,073 --> 01:04:23,860
And then who is gonna put
up with your bullshit?
1482
01:04:23,990 --> 01:04:28,299
I'm gonna tell you who,
his name is no one, okay?
1483
01:04:28,429 --> 01:04:31,432
So why don't you
just stop the drama,
1484
01:04:31,563 --> 01:04:37,786
grab your two piece
and come over, alright?
1485
01:04:37,917 --> 01:04:40,050
Alright.
1486
01:04:40,180 --> 01:04:43,923
Oh, and can you pick up
some beer on the way over?
1487
01:04:44,054 --> 01:04:45,882
Yeah sure.
1488
01:04:46,012 --> 01:04:48,058
Alright, great.
1489
01:04:48,188 --> 01:04:54,934
Look, um, I'm sorry that I had
to be so direct with you,
1490
01:04:55,065 --> 01:04:59,243
but I only do it because
I love you, okay?
1491
01:04:59,373 --> 01:05:01,419
Chin up.
1492
01:05:01,549 --> 01:05:03,595
I'll see you soon.
1493
01:05:03,725 --> 01:05:04,596
Okay.
1494
01:05:04,726 --> 01:05:06,772
Bye-bye.
1495
01:05:06,903 --> 01:05:13,866
♪
1496
01:05:13,997 --> 01:05:18,871
That was unexpected.
1497
01:05:19,002 --> 01:05:21,308
Kyle?
1498
01:05:21,439 --> 01:05:24,094
Nice job.
1499
01:05:24,224 --> 01:05:26,009
You were on
the whole time?
1500
01:05:26,139 --> 01:05:28,533
Yep.
1501
01:05:28,663 --> 01:05:30,361
So you just heard,
I'm, I'm sorry.
1502
01:05:30,491 --> 01:05:32,276
I just couldn't.
1503
01:05:32,406 --> 01:05:35,496
Look, I got no stake in this,
I was just trying to help
1504
01:05:35,627 --> 01:05:40,240
but, you know,
it's your life.
1505
01:05:40,371 --> 01:05:41,633
Kyle, I don't want you
to think that I'm --
1506
01:05:41,763 --> 01:05:44,375
Hey, don't sweat it,
you know, I mean,
1507
01:05:44,505 --> 01:05:49,162
it's not like
I know you for real.
1508
01:05:49,293 --> 01:05:52,687
Yeah, you do.
1509
01:05:52,818 --> 01:05:56,474
I think maybe you're
the only who does.
1510
01:05:56,604 --> 01:05:59,912
I'm gonna go now.
1511
01:06:00,043 --> 01:06:02,741
Okay...yeah.
1512
01:06:02,871 --> 01:06:06,092
Bye, Erica.
1513
01:06:06,223 --> 01:06:09,139
Goodbye, Kyle.
1514
01:06:09,269 --> 01:06:16,233
♪
1515
01:06:23,240 --> 01:06:30,203
[computer phone ringing]
1516
01:06:33,293 --> 01:06:40,257
[computer phone ringing]
1517
01:06:48,221 --> 01:06:54,314
[computer phone ringing]
1518
01:06:54,445 --> 01:06:57,491
Welcome to CPI,
this is Erica,
1519
01:06:57,622 --> 01:06:59,232
which one of our products
are you calling about?
1520
01:06:59,363 --> 01:07:01,539
Hi, yeah, I bought one of
your potato shredders
1521
01:07:01,669 --> 01:07:03,236
and it's, uh, totally stuck.
1522
01:07:03,367 --> 01:07:06,196
Um, excuse me, the what?
1523
01:07:06,326 --> 01:07:07,893
Potato shredder.
1524
01:07:08,024 --> 01:07:12,898
Potato shredder?
1525
01:07:13,029 --> 01:07:16,989
I'm not showing any potato
shredders manufactured by CPI.
1526
01:07:17,120 --> 01:07:18,773
Are you sure it's a CPI product?
1527
01:07:18,904 --> 01:07:20,862
Um, yeah.
1528
01:07:20,993 --> 01:07:25,041
It says CPI right here.
1529
01:07:25,171 --> 01:07:29,045
Can you, um, can you
describe the product ma'am?
1530
01:07:29,175 --> 01:07:35,703
Well, it's a potato shredder
like for hash browns.
1531
01:07:35,834 --> 01:07:37,749
I'm not seeing any
potato shredders
1532
01:07:37,879 --> 01:07:40,056
in our products database.
1533
01:07:40,186 --> 01:07:42,275
Well you put a potato
in the shredder,
1534
01:07:42,406 --> 01:07:47,541
you flip a switch and then the
hash browns fill a receptacle.
1535
01:07:47,672 --> 01:07:49,891
Okay, so it's an electronic.
1536
01:07:50,022 --> 01:07:52,068
Yeah, it plugs in.
1537
01:07:52,198 --> 01:07:55,201
What does the
receptacle look like?
1538
01:07:55,332 --> 01:08:02,339
Mmm, kind of like a garbage can.
1539
01:08:02,904 --> 01:08:07,170
By any chance does it
say cross shredder?
1540
01:08:07,300 --> 01:08:11,783
Yes, yes, it says
cross shredding action.
1541
01:08:11,913 --> 01:08:14,829
Ma'am, that's a paper shredder.
1542
01:08:14,960 --> 01:08:17,180
Oh, it shreds paper, too?
1543
01:08:17,310 --> 01:08:20,400
It shreds paper only.
1544
01:08:20,531 --> 01:08:23,838
You've been putting potatoes
into a paper shredder.
1545
01:08:27,059 --> 01:08:30,541
Oh...
1546
01:08:30,671 --> 01:08:33,674
Well, how do I
get it unstuck?
1547
01:08:33,805 --> 01:08:35,589
Seriously?
1548
01:08:35,720 --> 01:08:38,331
Are you really that stupid?
1549
01:08:38,462 --> 01:08:39,724
Excuse me?
1550
01:08:39,854 --> 01:08:41,769
Um, I'd like to speak
to your supervisor.
1551
01:08:41,900 --> 01:08:42,727
You want a second opinion?
1552
01:08:42,857 --> 01:08:44,032
Okay, you're a moron.
1553
01:08:44,163 --> 01:08:46,687
How's that?
1554
01:08:56,393 --> 01:09:02,616
♪
1555
01:09:02,747 --> 01:09:06,272
♪ Lay down, lay down
Whoa... ♪
1556
01:09:06,403 --> 01:09:09,884
♪ Lay down
Lay down, whoa ♪
1557
01:09:10,015 --> 01:09:12,931
♪ Another day with
nothing left to say ♪
1558
01:09:13,061 --> 01:09:16,978
♪ A couple years
down the road ♪
1559
01:09:17,109 --> 01:09:20,025
♪ The girl I met
is now a silhouette ♪
1560
01:09:20,156 --> 01:09:24,247
♪ Of someone
I used to know ♪
1561
01:09:24,377 --> 01:09:27,772
♪ So can we please try
and find our way ♪
1562
01:09:27,902 --> 01:09:31,079
♪ Back to where
it all began ♪
1563
01:09:31,210 --> 01:09:33,169
♪ Because somewhere
in those tired eyes ♪
1564
01:09:33,299 --> 01:09:35,040
♪ Memories of that
silly night ♪
1565
01:09:35,171 --> 01:09:40,828
♪ Are we strong enough
to last? ♪
1566
01:09:40,959 --> 01:09:44,397
♪ Lay down, lay down
Whoa... ♪
1567
01:09:44,528 --> 01:09:48,923
[cell phone ringing]
1568
01:09:49,054 --> 01:09:49,924
What?
1569
01:09:50,055 --> 01:09:51,491
Hey, what happened?
1570
01:09:51,622 --> 01:09:53,754
Nothing.
1571
01:09:53,885 --> 01:09:55,800
Are you crying?
1572
01:09:55,930 --> 01:09:57,802
No.
1573
01:09:57,932 --> 01:10:00,674
What did he
do to you?
1574
01:10:00,805 --> 01:10:03,416
Who? Alex?
1575
01:10:03,547 --> 01:10:08,116
Nothing...I'm going over
there in a little while.
1576
01:10:08,247 --> 01:10:11,250
Well, then why are
you crying now?
1577
01:10:11,381 --> 01:10:13,644
It's a long story...
1578
01:10:13,774 --> 01:10:15,820
I met this guy.
1579
01:10:15,950 --> 01:10:17,691
What?
Where? When?
1580
01:10:17,822 --> 01:10:20,564
Wait, what?
1581
01:10:20,694 --> 01:10:22,261
On the phone.
1582
01:10:22,392 --> 01:10:25,612
He's one of the
people I called...
1583
01:10:25,743 --> 01:10:30,487
this really nice guy,
Kyle, he's an EMT and
1584
01:10:30,617 --> 01:10:33,838
I don't know, we just
totally connected.
1585
01:10:33,968 --> 01:10:36,014
We've been
talking all day.
1586
01:10:36,144 --> 01:10:39,235
Oh my God, this is
very romantical.
1587
01:10:39,365 --> 01:10:40,932
Yeah well, don't
get too excited.
1588
01:10:41,062 --> 01:10:46,067
First of all, he lives in
New York and second of all,
1589
01:10:46,198 --> 01:10:48,069
I just totally
blew it with him.
1590
01:10:48,200 --> 01:10:49,854
What happened?
1591
01:10:49,984 --> 01:10:53,945
He was on the phone
when Alex called.
1592
01:10:54,075 --> 01:10:56,687
Ooh...
1593
01:10:56,817 --> 01:11:00,865
Yeah, and he heard me totally
wimp out and not stick up
1594
01:11:00,995 --> 01:11:04,260
for myself and now he thinks
I'm a psycho bitch
1595
01:11:04,390 --> 01:11:06,000
with low self-esteem.
1596
01:11:06,131 --> 01:11:10,527
I'm sure he doesn't,
call him back.
1597
01:11:10,657 --> 01:11:12,442
-I can't.
-Why? Why not?
1598
01:11:12,572 --> 01:11:13,878
If he's as great
as you say he is,
1599
01:11:14,008 --> 01:11:16,359
then he'll totally
give you another chance.
1600
01:11:16,489 --> 01:11:20,580
I don't know, maybe.
1601
01:11:20,711 --> 01:11:23,104
Look, call him back.
1602
01:11:23,235 --> 01:11:25,368
At this point, what have
you got to lose, right?
1603
01:11:25,498 --> 01:11:27,500
Do it, call him.
Do it now.
1604
01:11:27,631 --> 01:11:29,241
Okay.
1605
01:11:29,372 --> 01:11:31,243
Okay, okay.
1606
01:11:31,374 --> 01:11:33,071
Okay, call me later.
1607
01:11:33,201 --> 01:11:35,203
Alright,
love you, bye.
1608
01:11:46,432 --> 01:11:50,044
Hey, it's Kyle,
um, yeah...
1609
01:11:50,175 --> 01:11:57,182
♪
1610
01:12:01,360 --> 01:12:04,842
Hey, it's Kyle,
um, yeah...
1611
01:12:04,972 --> 01:12:11,979
♪
1612
01:12:15,026 --> 01:12:22,033
♪
1613
01:12:31,651 --> 01:12:36,439
[phone ringing]
1614
01:12:36,569 --> 01:12:39,006
Hello?
1615
01:12:39,137 --> 01:12:40,181
Kyle, are you there?
1616
01:12:40,312 --> 01:12:41,792
[phone ringing]
1617
01:12:41,922 --> 01:12:43,184
Kyle?
1618
01:12:43,315 --> 01:12:44,795
Hello?
1619
01:12:44,925 --> 01:12:47,275
Hi, this is Peter Rawlins
from the Tyra Banks Show.
1620
01:12:47,406 --> 01:12:48,668
Seriously?
1621
01:12:48,799 --> 01:12:50,061
Yes, seriously.
1622
01:12:50,191 --> 01:12:52,585
May I please speak to
Amanda Feeny please?
1623
01:12:52,716 --> 01:12:53,804
This is Amanda.
1624
01:12:53,934 --> 01:12:55,371
Hi Amanda.
1625
01:12:55,501 --> 01:12:58,504
Listen, Tyra is doing an
episode on office romances
1626
01:12:58,635 --> 01:13:02,856
and we got your name
from an Alex Santiago?
1627
01:13:02,987 --> 01:13:05,642
Yeah, I work with Alex.
1628
01:13:05,772 --> 01:13:08,340
Oh, well Alex says that you two
are having a relationship
1629
01:13:08,471 --> 01:13:10,734
and we wanted to fly you
both out to New York City
1630
01:13:10,864 --> 01:13:12,170
for a taping
of the show.
1631
01:13:12,300 --> 01:13:14,433
Oh my God.
Seriously?
1632
01:13:14,564 --> 01:13:15,869
Yes, that's right.
1633
01:13:16,000 --> 01:13:17,480
We'll be flying you both
first class courtesy of
1634
01:13:17,610 --> 01:13:19,743
American Airlines and
you'll be staying in
1635
01:13:19,873 --> 01:13:23,529
hotel accommodations courtesy
of the Hyatt-Regency.
1636
01:13:23,660 --> 01:13:25,879
Oh my God.
This is so cool!
1637
01:13:26,010 --> 01:13:29,013
Now before we book you, we do
have to verify a few things.
1638
01:13:29,143 --> 01:13:32,146
First off, Alex says you two are
having an interoffice romance.
1639
01:13:32,277 --> 01:13:33,496
Is that correct?
1640
01:13:33,626 --> 01:13:35,498
Yeah, we are.
1641
01:13:35,628 --> 01:13:37,238
Great.
1642
01:13:37,369 --> 01:13:40,328
Now, do any of your coworkers
know about the relationship?
1643
01:13:40,459 --> 01:13:42,026
No.
1644
01:13:42,156 --> 01:13:43,984
Oh, well, Rob does.
1645
01:13:44,115 --> 01:13:45,290
That's Alex's boss.
1646
01:13:45,421 --> 01:13:47,597
I'm kind of hooking
up with him, too.
1647
01:13:47,727 --> 01:13:48,815
Mmm, great.
1648
01:13:48,946 --> 01:13:50,338
That sounds fabulous.
1649
01:13:50,469 --> 01:13:53,733
Now do either you or Alex
have any relationships
1650
01:13:53,864 --> 01:13:56,736
outside of the office?
1651
01:13:56,867 --> 01:13:58,172
No.
1652
01:13:58,303 --> 01:14:01,088
Alex isn't
seeing anyone?
1653
01:14:01,219 --> 01:14:03,874
No.
1654
01:14:04,004 --> 01:14:05,266
Are you sure?
1655
01:14:05,397 --> 01:14:07,312
Um, Alex says he
has a girlfriend.
1656
01:14:07,443 --> 01:14:09,401
Who? That Erica chick?
1657
01:14:09,532 --> 01:14:11,316
No, they're not serious.
1658
01:14:11,447 --> 01:14:13,927
Okay. Are you sure?
1659
01:14:14,058 --> 01:14:17,104
Alex says he, uh, he's in
love with this Erica girl.
1660
01:14:17,235 --> 01:14:19,193
No, he's not.
1661
01:14:19,324 --> 01:14:21,587
He said she was like a
once in a while hook up
1662
01:14:21,718 --> 01:14:24,503
and then she got clingy
so he dumped the bitch.
1663
01:14:24,634 --> 01:14:26,287
Okay, that's
all we need.
1664
01:14:26,418 --> 01:14:28,072
So am I going to New York?
1665
01:14:28,202 --> 01:14:29,726
Yeah, yeah.
1666
01:14:29,856 --> 01:14:31,815
I know you're gonna be
the star of the show.
1667
01:14:31,945 --> 01:14:33,730
In fact, Tyra is going to
personally pick you up at
1668
01:14:33,860 --> 01:14:37,473
the airport and drive you
in her limo to the studio.
1669
01:14:37,603 --> 01:14:39,083
Shut up!
1670
01:14:39,213 --> 01:14:42,173
Yeah, so can you be at
LAX tomorrow at 5:00 AM?
1671
01:14:42,303 --> 01:14:43,696
Totally.
1672
01:14:43,827 --> 01:14:45,611
Fabulous.
1673
01:14:47,047 --> 01:14:54,054
♪
1674
01:14:57,101 --> 01:15:02,585
♪
1675
01:15:02,715 --> 01:15:07,807
[cell phone ringing]
1676
01:15:14,684 --> 01:15:20,733
Well, I guess
you were right.
1677
01:15:20,864 --> 01:15:22,735
I'm really sorry.
1678
01:15:22,866 --> 01:15:27,914
I just thought you'd
want to know the truth.
1679
01:15:28,045 --> 01:15:31,135
How'd you get
her info anyway?
1680
01:15:31,265 --> 01:15:33,180
Facebook mostly.
1681
01:15:33,311 --> 01:15:36,227
Of course.
1682
01:15:36,357 --> 01:15:39,622
Erica, I'm,
I'm truly sorry.
1683
01:15:39,752 --> 01:15:42,320
I didn't mean to --
1684
01:15:42,450 --> 01:15:46,629
I know, I know...
I know.
1685
01:15:46,759 --> 01:15:50,676
♪
1686
01:15:50,807 --> 01:15:56,116
So what are
you gonna do?
1687
01:15:56,247 --> 01:16:03,210
Something I should have
done a long time ago.
1688
01:16:03,515 --> 01:16:07,388
Good luck.
1689
01:16:07,519 --> 01:16:10,957
Thanks, thanks.
1690
01:16:27,539 --> 01:16:32,239
[ringing]
1691
01:16:32,370 --> 01:16:33,589
Hey babe.
1692
01:16:33,719 --> 01:16:35,721
Uh, where are you?
1693
01:16:35,852 --> 01:16:37,941
What's going on?
1694
01:16:38,071 --> 01:16:39,116
What are you doing?
1695
01:16:39,246 --> 01:16:40,639
Dumping your ass.
1696
01:16:40,770 --> 01:16:43,642
What? Whoa!
Whoa, whoa!
1697
01:16:43,773 --> 01:16:46,123
Now let's not get all
excited, baby girl.
1698
01:16:46,253 --> 01:16:49,561
Tell me what
the problem is.
1699
01:16:49,692 --> 01:16:52,564
The problem is I deserve
better than you, Alex.
1700
01:16:52,695 --> 01:16:55,611
Yeah, well,
good luck with that.
1701
01:16:55,741 --> 01:16:56,699
Screw you.
1702
01:16:56,829 --> 01:16:59,397
Screw me?
1703
01:16:59,527 --> 01:17:04,750
Erica look, you are a
customer service rep, okay?
1704
01:17:04,881 --> 01:17:07,884
And let's face it, you are
not getting any younger,
1705
01:17:08,014 --> 01:17:09,494
so if you think that you
can do better than me,
1706
01:17:09,625 --> 01:17:12,671
well, you need a serious
reality check.
1707
01:17:12,802 --> 01:17:14,760
I know I can do
better than you
1708
01:17:14,891 --> 01:17:17,676
and I think I've
already found him.
1709
01:17:17,807 --> 01:17:20,157
Do you know what you're
doing right now, huh?
1710
01:17:20,287 --> 01:17:23,029
Yeah, yeah...
I'm taking a chance.
1711
01:17:23,160 --> 01:17:28,121
Okay, uh,
whatever...
1712
01:17:28,252 --> 01:17:29,862
Goodbye Alex.
1713
01:17:29,993 --> 01:17:32,430
Babe, baby, baby.
1714
01:17:32,560 --> 01:17:36,739
Oh, and by the way,
your friend, Amanda,
1715
01:17:36,869 --> 01:17:39,176
is also sleeping
with your boss.
1716
01:17:46,313 --> 01:17:47,750
[phone ringing]
1717
01:17:47,880 --> 01:17:49,229
Jesus Christ.
1718
01:17:49,360 --> 01:17:50,927
Hi, what is it,
Mr. Koffsky?
1719
01:17:51,057 --> 01:17:54,147
Uh, IT can't seem to find any
problem with the network.
1720
01:17:54,278 --> 01:17:56,933
Oh really?
1721
01:17:57,063 --> 01:17:58,543
That's weird.
1722
01:17:58,674 --> 01:18:01,198
Yeah, and they say your
computer's been online all day.
1723
01:18:01,328 --> 01:18:03,635
Hmm, uh, I don't know,
1724
01:18:03,766 --> 01:18:05,637
maybe it's something
wrong with my laptop.
1725
01:18:05,768 --> 01:18:07,291
Erica?
1726
01:18:07,421 --> 01:18:08,945
Yes, Mr. Koffsky?
1727
01:18:09,075 --> 01:18:10,990
Cut the bullshit.
1728
01:18:11,121 --> 01:18:13,427
Excuse me?
1729
01:18:13,558 --> 01:18:15,516
Let me play
something for you.
1730
01:18:15,647 --> 01:18:17,083
Okay.
1731
01:18:17,214 --> 01:18:18,215
Seriously?
1732
01:18:18,345 --> 01:18:19,607
Are you really
that stupid?
1733
01:18:19,738 --> 01:18:21,087
Excuse me?
1734
01:18:21,218 --> 01:18:22,436
Um, I'd like to speak
to your supervisor.
1735
01:18:22,567 --> 01:18:23,873
You want a second opinion?
1736
01:18:24,003 --> 01:18:25,004
Okay, you're a moron.
1737
01:18:25,135 --> 01:18:27,746
How's that?
1738
01:18:27,877 --> 01:18:29,922
How did you get that?
1739
01:18:30,053 --> 01:18:33,665
Some of your conversations are
recorded for quality assurance.
1740
01:18:33,796 --> 01:18:35,449
Oh yeah.
1741
01:18:35,580 --> 01:18:37,016
Erica, what the hell's
the matter with you?
1742
01:18:37,147 --> 01:18:39,105
Uh, I don't know.
1743
01:18:39,236 --> 01:18:42,935
I'm sorry,
I just lost it.
1744
01:18:43,066 --> 01:18:44,981
I'm just having
a really weird day.
1745
01:18:45,111 --> 01:18:47,723
And all this crap about
the network being down.
1746
01:18:47,853 --> 01:18:50,334
I know, I was lying.
1747
01:18:50,464 --> 01:18:51,988
Look, I just needed
some time today
1748
01:18:52,118 --> 01:18:54,468
to reconnect with
the real world.
1749
01:18:54,599 --> 01:18:58,211
What are you
talking about?
1750
01:18:58,342 --> 01:19:00,997
It doesn't matter.
1751
01:19:01,127 --> 01:19:03,826
So, am I fired?
1752
01:19:03,956 --> 01:19:06,611
Ha! Do you think?
1753
01:19:06,742 --> 01:19:08,047
I understand.
1754
01:19:08,178 --> 01:19:11,442
Look, Erica, if you were
having personal issues,
1755
01:19:11,572 --> 01:19:13,139
you could have
just told me.
1756
01:19:13,270 --> 01:19:17,448
I know, I'm sorry,
I just...
1757
01:19:17,578 --> 01:19:19,537
No, it's fine,
it's fine, I mean,
1758
01:19:19,667 --> 01:19:22,627
this is not like my long-term
career path anyway, right.
1759
01:19:22,758 --> 01:19:24,411
I mean, life's too short to
spend it doing something
1760
01:19:24,542 --> 01:19:26,196
you don't love.
1761
01:19:26,326 --> 01:19:29,286
Ah, well, you know what, let me
give you some advice there,
1762
01:19:29,416 --> 01:19:34,378
I mean, 'cause that all sounds
really good in theory,
1763
01:19:34,508 --> 01:19:37,511
but in the real world,
people work, you know.
1764
01:19:37,642 --> 01:19:40,036
I mean, they go out and they
do things that aren't all fun
1765
01:19:40,166 --> 01:19:44,692
and games because they need
to make money to buy food
1766
01:19:44,823 --> 01:19:46,477
and pay the rent.
1767
01:19:46,607 --> 01:19:49,262
I mean, you know, we're laying
people off left and right here
1768
01:19:49,393 --> 01:19:56,356
and it is so hard to find
another job, it just --
1769
01:19:58,750 --> 01:20:05,409
Look, what do you say I give you
one more chance but you promise
1770
01:20:05,539 --> 01:20:12,372
me that you will never pull any
of those stunts again, hmm?
1771
01:20:12,503 --> 01:20:13,939
What do you say?
1772
01:20:14,070 --> 01:20:16,159
I really appreciate
that Mr. Koffsky, I do.
1773
01:20:16,289 --> 01:20:19,336
It's just that, maybe
it's better this way.
1774
01:20:19,466 --> 01:20:25,603
I mean, I need to, uh,
step out of my comfort zone
1775
01:20:25,733 --> 01:20:28,301
or at least get out
of my apartment.
1776
01:20:28,432 --> 01:20:33,219
I just, you know, venture
out into the unknown.
1777
01:20:33,350 --> 01:20:35,526
Okay, I understand.
1778
01:20:35,656 --> 01:20:40,009
Um, I can give you
two weeks' severance.
1779
01:20:40,139 --> 01:20:42,359
Thank you.
1780
01:20:42,489 --> 01:20:44,578
Thank you, Mr. Koffsky.
1781
01:20:44,709 --> 01:20:46,842
Good luck, Erica.
1782
01:20:46,972 --> 01:20:48,974
Thank you.
1783
01:20:50,758 --> 01:20:52,412
[laughing]
1784
01:20:52,543 --> 01:20:54,153
Ah!
1785
01:20:56,547 --> 01:21:03,554
♪
1786
01:21:06,600 --> 01:21:12,084
♪
1787
01:21:12,215 --> 01:21:19,222
♪
1788
01:21:22,268 --> 01:21:28,361
♪
1789
01:21:28,492 --> 01:21:32,583
[phone ringing]
1790
01:21:32,713 --> 01:21:33,627
Hey.
1791
01:21:33,758 --> 01:21:35,978
Hey.
1792
01:21:36,108 --> 01:21:39,111
How'd it go?
1793
01:21:39,242 --> 01:21:41,897
Uh, it's fine.
1794
01:21:42,027 --> 01:21:47,163
It's over and
I quit my job.
1795
01:21:47,293 --> 01:21:48,729
No, fired actually.
1796
01:21:48,860 --> 01:21:52,298
I got hired back and
then I turned it down.
1797
01:21:52,429 --> 01:21:53,560
Whoa...
1798
01:21:53,691 --> 01:21:56,607
Uh, I never
told you to --
1799
01:21:56,737 --> 01:22:00,611
I'm taking a chance.
1800
01:22:00,741 --> 01:22:04,615
Good for you.
1801
01:22:04,745 --> 01:22:07,052
Um, can I ask you
a question?
1802
01:22:07,183 --> 01:22:09,881
What? So now you
ask permission?
1803
01:22:14,364 --> 01:22:17,149
Why do you, why do
you even like me?
1804
01:22:17,280 --> 01:22:18,934
Mostly for
the archery.
1805
01:22:19,064 --> 01:22:21,501
[laughing]
1806
01:22:21,632 --> 01:22:26,898
No seriously.
1807
01:22:27,029 --> 01:22:32,556
I'm just, I'm just
a Consumer Affairs Rep.
1808
01:22:32,686 --> 01:22:36,081
Former Consumer
Affairs Rep.
1809
01:22:36,212 --> 01:22:38,736
Right.
1810
01:22:38,866 --> 01:22:41,434
I'm not special.
1811
01:22:41,565 --> 01:22:43,784
Are you kidding me?
1812
01:22:43,915 --> 01:22:46,309
How many people would
turn a wrong number into
1813
01:22:46,439 --> 01:22:51,096
an opportunity to meet people,
to connect with strangers.
1814
01:22:51,227 --> 01:22:55,057
I mean...
1815
01:22:55,187 --> 01:22:59,626
I don't know...
I don't know.
1816
01:22:59,757 --> 01:23:03,195
You made a difference in
people's lives today, Erica.
1817
01:23:03,326 --> 01:23:05,632
Yeah, not like you do.
1818
01:23:05,763 --> 01:23:08,809
Just as important.
1819
01:23:08,940 --> 01:23:10,159
You think that lady in
Nebraska gets to talk
1820
01:23:10,289 --> 01:23:11,551
to people every day?
1821
01:23:11,682 --> 01:23:15,338
I mean, her children
don't even talk to her.
1822
01:23:15,468 --> 01:23:17,775
Yeah, I guess.
1823
01:23:17,905 --> 01:23:20,691
What about me?
1824
01:23:20,821 --> 01:23:24,173
What about you?
1825
01:23:24,303 --> 01:23:31,223
It's weird, but I have real,
I have real feelings for you.
1826
01:23:38,665 --> 01:23:42,060
What?
1827
01:23:42,191 --> 01:23:45,716
I think this could be
something, you know.
1828
01:23:45,846 --> 01:23:48,545
Something important.
1829
01:23:48,675 --> 01:23:52,853
[sirens blaring]
1830
01:23:52,984 --> 01:23:54,290
I have to meet you.
1831
01:23:54,420 --> 01:23:56,509
I can book a flight
in the morning.
1832
01:23:56,640 --> 01:23:58,424
Sorry, I can't
hear you.
1833
01:23:58,555 --> 01:24:01,079
I need to fly out
and see you.
1834
01:24:01,210 --> 01:24:04,474
There's, sorry, there's
an ambulance going by.
1835
01:24:04,604 --> 01:24:06,128
[sirens blaring]
1836
01:24:06,258 --> 01:24:07,868
I hear it, too.
1837
01:24:07,999 --> 01:24:10,784
You hear that?
1838
01:24:10,915 --> 01:24:12,351
I can hear it
outside.
1839
01:24:12,482 --> 01:24:14,353
Isn't that weird?
1840
01:24:14,484 --> 01:24:17,139
Wait...What?
1841
01:24:17,269 --> 01:24:19,271
[sirens blaring]
1842
01:24:19,402 --> 01:24:21,447
Where are you?
1843
01:24:21,578 --> 01:24:23,406
L.A.
1844
01:24:23,536 --> 01:24:27,932
But your number,
your number is 917.
1845
01:24:28,063 --> 01:24:31,718
I moved here a month ago
and why bother change it?
1846
01:24:31,849 --> 01:24:34,808
You didn't think that
was worth mentioning?
1847
01:24:34,939 --> 01:24:37,463
You never asked.
1848
01:24:37,594 --> 01:24:39,422
But we can hear
the same ambulance.
1849
01:24:39,552 --> 01:24:41,598
Yeah.
1850
01:24:41,728 --> 01:24:46,168
♪
1851
01:24:46,298 --> 01:24:51,564
Where are you exactly?
1852
01:24:51,695 --> 01:24:58,702
♪
1853
01:25:06,231 --> 01:25:13,195
♪
1854
01:25:19,940 --> 01:25:26,947
♪
1855
01:25:29,994 --> 01:25:37,001
♪
1856
01:25:44,922 --> 01:25:46,228
♪
1857
01:25:46,358 --> 01:25:47,490
Hi.
1858
01:25:47,620 --> 01:25:50,057
I'm Kyle.
1859
01:25:50,188 --> 01:25:52,799
Erica.
1860
01:25:52,930 --> 01:25:59,937
♪
1861
01:26:07,074 --> 01:26:14,081
♪
1862
01:26:17,128 --> 01:26:23,047
♪
1863
01:26:23,178 --> 01:26:30,185
♪
1864
01:26:37,235 --> 01:26:44,199
♪
1865
01:26:51,989 --> 01:26:58,996
♪
1866
01:27:02,042 --> 01:27:09,049
♪
1867
01:27:10,747 --> 01:27:17,754
♪
1868
01:27:20,800 --> 01:27:27,807
♪
1869
01:27:29,548 --> 01:27:36,512
♪
1870
01:27:39,558 --> 01:27:46,565
♪
1871
01:27:48,306 --> 01:27:55,270
♪
1872
01:27:58,360 --> 01:28:05,323
♪
124541
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