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1
00:00:03,070 --> 00:00:04,670
Tyrannis:
Hey. Thanks again for the hogs.
2
00:00:04,820 --> 00:00:06,060
We go through them so fast,
3
00:00:06,060 --> 00:00:07,480
and you never have a hog
when you need one.
4
00:00:07,500 --> 00:00:09,490
Asskill:
Well, I'm happy to help out.
5
00:00:09,560 --> 00:00:11,410
If I've got a spare hog
lying around, it's yours.
6
00:00:11,490 --> 00:00:14,080
Tyrannis: Oh, and, um, also,
thank you for not eating me.
7
00:00:14,080 --> 00:00:15,400
I don't say that enough.
8
00:00:15,420 --> 00:00:17,920
Oh, come on!
I'd never eat you.
9
00:00:18,000 --> 00:00:21,350
-You're all bone.
-I appreciate that.
10
00:00:21,350 --> 00:00:22,590
Ooh! Caravan!
11
00:00:22,590 --> 00:00:24,430
We don't get many
travelers through here,
12
00:00:24,500 --> 00:00:27,860
and we certainly don't get
many pretty lady travelers.
13
00:00:27,930 --> 00:00:29,340
[Horse neighs]
14
00:00:29,360 --> 00:00:30,840
Hello there.
Welcome to the area,
15
00:00:30,840 --> 00:00:33,250
or as I like to call it...
the area.
16
00:00:33,250 --> 00:00:35,090
I'm sorry. I thought something
would come to me.
17
00:00:35,090 --> 00:00:37,680
Anyway, what brings you h-here?
18
00:00:37,700 --> 00:00:40,680
I'm Sophie, these are my guys.
We're mapmakers.
19
00:00:40,760 --> 00:00:42,540
Map...makers.
20
00:00:42,540 --> 00:00:45,100
Have you not heard of maps?
They're the next big thing.
21
00:00:45,120 --> 00:00:46,540
They help you find
where you're going.
22
00:00:46,540 --> 00:00:48,270
Like, if you needed to
get from here to Thebes,
23
00:00:48,270 --> 00:00:50,120
how would you do that?
24
00:00:50,210 --> 00:00:52,270
Well, I'd ask our finder.
We have this guy Casey.
25
00:00:52,270 --> 00:00:54,620
His whole job is just
knowing how to get places.
26
00:00:54,630 --> 00:00:56,050
He's not that great, though,
27
00:00:56,130 --> 00:00:57,380
unless you're looking
for a brothel.
28
00:00:57,460 --> 00:00:59,110
Oh, we have a great
finder--Loretta.
29
00:00:59,110 --> 00:01:00,630
Every city has a finder.
30
00:01:00,780 --> 00:01:02,720
Well, every city's finder
is about to kill themselves
31
00:01:02,800 --> 00:01:04,870
because this is a map.
32
00:01:04,890 --> 00:01:07,120
See? It shows mountains,
rivers, paths,
33
00:01:07,120 --> 00:01:09,210
and of course
all the important cities.
34
00:01:09,290 --> 00:01:11,310
And there we are.
We're an important city!
35
00:01:11,460 --> 00:01:14,070
I'm an important king!
Oh, shame.
36
00:01:14,070 --> 00:01:15,900
Looks like Killassas
didn't make it this time.
37
00:01:16,050 --> 00:01:18,480
I understand,
but they've come so far.
38
00:01:18,630 --> 00:01:20,890
-Oh, Killassas is on there.
-That's not Krapopolis?
39
00:01:20,970 --> 00:01:22,580
No. Krapopolis isn't on the map.
40
00:01:22,580 --> 00:01:24,970
And Killassas is?!
It's barely a city!
41
00:01:24,990 --> 00:01:26,730
No offense.
42
00:01:26,730 --> 00:01:28,640
Hey. I'm selling these things.
To get on the map,
43
00:01:28,640 --> 00:01:30,810
a city has to have something
a traveler's gonna care about.
44
00:01:30,810 --> 00:01:32,140
We're a democracy!
45
00:01:32,160 --> 00:01:33,650
They're a city of cannibals!
46
00:01:33,650 --> 00:01:35,480
Again, no offense.
47
00:01:35,480 --> 00:01:37,320
It's the "no offense"
that's starting to bug me.
48
00:01:37,320 --> 00:01:39,590
City of cannibals is
exactly the kind of thing
49
00:01:39,670 --> 00:01:41,910
a traveler wants on the map
so they can steer clear.
50
00:01:41,990 --> 00:01:43,600
What about your city is
as useful to know
51
00:01:43,600 --> 00:01:45,320
as "They eat people here"?
52
00:01:45,330 --> 00:01:47,430
We have a very nice place
to poo.
53
00:01:47,440 --> 00:01:49,010
Everywhere has
a nice place to poo.
54
00:01:49,090 --> 00:01:50,920
Do you have a restaurant?
55
00:01:50,940 --> 00:01:52,500
-We could.
-Tell you what.
56
00:01:52,500 --> 00:01:54,090
We're coming back around
in a few days.
57
00:01:54,110 --> 00:01:55,850
If you've got a decent
restaurant by then,
58
00:01:55,930 --> 00:01:57,190
I'll put you on the map.
59
00:01:57,260 --> 00:01:59,860
-Restaurant.
-Hey. could you take
60
00:01:59,930 --> 00:02:01,450
our city off the map?
61
00:02:01,530 --> 00:02:04,030
-Travelers are 60% of our diet.
-Oh, I don't know.
62
00:02:04,030 --> 00:02:05,940
Travelers really
should be warned about--
63
00:02:05,940 --> 00:02:07,850
please remove us,
or we'll eat you.
64
00:02:07,850 --> 00:02:09,460
Will do!
65
00:02:26,120 --> 00:02:28,050
Singers: ♪ Huh huh huh huh
66
00:02:28,130 --> 00:02:32,190
♪ Huh huh huh whoo
67
00:02:35,970 --> 00:02:37,380
It's called a map,
68
00:02:37,380 --> 00:02:38,990
and it shows
where everything is.
69
00:02:39,060 --> 00:02:40,650
Casey's gonna kill himself.
70
00:02:40,660 --> 00:02:42,380
That's the least
of our problems.
71
00:02:42,380 --> 00:02:44,320
I didn't mean that, Casey.
We'll find you another job.
72
00:02:44,400 --> 00:02:45,480
Casey: Ohh.
73
00:02:45,490 --> 00:02:47,570
Why is it the least
of our problems?
74
00:02:47,570 --> 00:02:49,650
Because it shows
every significant city
75
00:02:49,720 --> 00:02:50,910
in the modern world
76
00:02:51,000 --> 00:02:52,560
with the notable
exception of mine.
77
00:02:52,560 --> 00:02:53,830
You mean ours.
78
00:02:53,990 --> 00:02:54,980
Deliria: I don't think mortals
should know
79
00:02:55,060 --> 00:02:56,400
where things are.
80
00:02:56,400 --> 00:02:58,080
It's more fun
to watch them wander.
81
00:02:58,080 --> 00:02:59,170
The cities who don't get on
this thing are
82
00:02:59,180 --> 00:03:00,580
going to be left in the dust.
83
00:03:00,580 --> 00:03:01,820
I have to be on it!
84
00:03:01,830 --> 00:03:03,250
-We.
-Look Kissuria's a city
85
00:03:03,330 --> 00:03:05,180
you can't even get to,
and it's on the map.
86
00:03:05,180 --> 00:03:07,330
Wait, that's
where Kissuria is?
87
00:03:07,330 --> 00:03:09,180
Past the Ice Mountains
of Death all the way
88
00:03:09,330 --> 00:03:11,170
on the other side
of the Uncrossable Chasm?
89
00:03:11,250 --> 00:03:12,910
I always thought
it was reachable.
90
00:03:12,910 --> 00:03:14,410
Well, now you know it's not,
91
00:03:14,420 --> 00:03:16,020
but what you don't know,
looking at this map,
92
00:03:16,170 --> 00:03:18,030
is that my city exists.
93
00:03:18,030 --> 00:03:19,840
-Our city.
-And that's why we're
94
00:03:19,860 --> 00:03:21,100
opening a restaurant.
95
00:03:21,180 --> 00:03:22,510
Deliria: A restaurant?
96
00:03:22,510 --> 00:03:23,940
The thing where humans
go to eat
97
00:03:24,090 --> 00:03:25,770
as if they're worth
serving food to?
98
00:03:25,780 --> 00:03:27,590
I wouldn't be caught dead
in a restaurant.
99
00:03:27,590 --> 00:03:29,610
Shlub: I've been caught
dead in several.
100
00:03:29,760 --> 00:03:31,710
Tyrannis: Well, we need
a restaurant to get on the map,
101
00:03:31,780 --> 00:03:33,280
and Hippo's gonna be our chef.
102
00:03:33,430 --> 00:03:35,270
Hippocampus: Me?!
I'm not cooking for people!
103
00:03:35,270 --> 00:03:37,380
Oh, I forgot. You only care
about yourself.
104
00:03:37,450 --> 00:03:38,700
Correct.
105
00:03:38,710 --> 00:03:40,050
Why did I think
that would work?
106
00:03:40,120 --> 00:03:41,530
Come on!
For once in your life,
107
00:03:41,530 --> 00:03:43,200
do something for the good
of the city.
108
00:03:43,280 --> 00:03:45,340
Oh. The city you can't stop
calling your city?
109
00:03:45,340 --> 00:03:46,890
What is there, some girl,
110
00:03:46,960 --> 00:03:48,300
some girl you're
trying to impress?
111
00:03:48,300 --> 00:03:49,950
If you're not
going to cook simply
112
00:03:49,950 --> 00:03:51,120
to make other people happy,
113
00:03:51,120 --> 00:03:52,620
how about I appeal to your ego?
114
00:03:52,620 --> 00:03:56,050
What if someone could be
the best at cooking?
115
00:03:56,120 --> 00:03:58,620
Well, obviously, it would be me.
116
00:03:58,630 --> 00:03:59,960
-Prove it.
-I will!
117
00:03:59,960 --> 00:04:01,480
And I know you just played me,
118
00:04:01,480 --> 00:04:04,310
but well played
because I am completely in.
119
00:04:04,390 --> 00:04:05,910
Guess we've got
ourselves a restaurant.
120
00:04:05,910 --> 00:04:07,650
I guess we have.
121
00:04:07,800 --> 00:04:09,130
[Cheering]
122
00:04:09,140 --> 00:04:10,080
Stupendous:
What the hell is this?
123
00:04:10,150 --> 00:04:11,650
Spike, what is this?
124
00:04:11,810 --> 00:04:13,470
Spike: They saw the damn map.
125
00:04:13,470 --> 00:04:15,750
They're celebrating because
those baby-eating bastards
126
00:04:15,750 --> 00:04:17,660
from Kissuria can't invade us.
127
00:04:17,660 --> 00:04:19,240
End of an era, huh?
128
00:04:19,260 --> 00:04:21,500
All my life, I've been
preparing to be invaded
129
00:04:21,500 --> 00:04:23,260
by the Kissurians.
130
00:04:23,260 --> 00:04:25,320
I was raised on stories
about those animals,
131
00:04:25,320 --> 00:04:27,840
how they eat babies,
how they chop off your fingers
132
00:04:27,990 --> 00:04:29,820
one by one and feed them
to your baby
133
00:04:29,820 --> 00:04:31,270
and then still eat the baby.
134
00:04:31,420 --> 00:04:33,080
Don't forget the butt sewing.
135
00:04:33,080 --> 00:04:35,440
The most twisted, vile
battlefield torture
136
00:04:35,510 --> 00:04:38,110
ever conceived--
sewing your butt closed
137
00:04:38,260 --> 00:04:40,680
and then force feeding you
till you explode?
138
00:04:40,760 --> 00:04:44,020
Hey, guys! We don't need
our butt guards anymore.
139
00:04:44,100 --> 00:04:45,610
Throw them on the fire!
140
00:04:45,690 --> 00:04:47,450
[Cheering]
141
00:04:47,450 --> 00:04:48,860
Stupendous:
Look at them, goofing around,
142
00:04:48,930 --> 00:04:50,270
not a care in the world.
143
00:04:50,290 --> 00:04:52,180
I can't let that happen to me.
144
00:04:52,180 --> 00:04:54,290
I am keeping this butt guard
and these finger holders
145
00:04:54,290 --> 00:04:57,200
until I have properly
killed those Kissurian bastards
146
00:04:57,200 --> 00:04:58,850
on a field of battle!
147
00:04:58,850 --> 00:05:00,200
Spike: Hell, yeah! I'm in!
148
00:05:00,350 --> 00:05:02,250
Let's go kick some ass!
149
00:05:06,120 --> 00:05:09,860
Hello, and welcome to Ty's Man
Woman Table Chairs Food.
150
00:05:09,860 --> 00:05:11,550
Catchy name.
151
00:05:11,700 --> 00:05:13,460
Have you eaten
in a restaurant before?
152
00:05:13,530 --> 00:05:16,200
We've never eaten
indoors before.
153
00:05:16,200 --> 00:05:18,980
Well, you're in for a treat.
154
00:05:19,060 --> 00:05:20,310
Let me tell you how it works.
155
00:05:20,320 --> 00:05:22,060
You order food, we cook it.
156
00:05:22,060 --> 00:05:23,320
It's really that simple.
157
00:05:23,470 --> 00:05:25,060
-Do we have to kill it?
-Nope.
158
00:05:25,060 --> 00:05:26,550
-Gut it?
-Nope.
159
00:05:26,560 --> 00:05:28,710
Skin it, bleed it,
make it into chunks?
160
00:05:28,730 --> 00:05:30,380
Nope! We do all that for you.
161
00:05:30,380 --> 00:05:32,980
Should be called
Ty's Kill Gut Skin Bleed
162
00:05:33,000 --> 00:05:36,150
Man Woman Table Chairs
Food Chunks Eat.
163
00:05:36,170 --> 00:05:38,000
We will certainly take
a look at that.
164
00:05:38,080 --> 00:05:40,180
So I can order anything?
165
00:05:40,190 --> 00:05:41,820
No. I should have
been more specific.
166
00:05:41,900 --> 00:05:43,820
You can order any amount
of one thing,
167
00:05:43,820 --> 00:05:45,750
and that thing is chicken,
168
00:05:45,820 --> 00:05:47,730
and the amount
can't be too much.
169
00:05:47,730 --> 00:05:50,750
Great. We'll have one.
170
00:05:50,830 --> 00:05:52,570
Hippo, we've got our
first customers,
171
00:05:52,570 --> 00:05:54,590
and they will have
one delicious chicken.
172
00:05:54,670 --> 00:05:57,850
Chicken is child's play.
Every cook can make chicken.
173
00:05:57,930 --> 00:05:59,850
I'm making octopus.
174
00:05:59,860 --> 00:06:02,250
Octopus?
Humans don't eat octopus.
175
00:06:02,250 --> 00:06:04,580
You should. All they talk
about is eating you.
176
00:06:04,590 --> 00:06:05,930
OK. Noted.
177
00:06:06,090 --> 00:06:07,690
Seriously,
they have 17 different words
178
00:06:07,770 --> 00:06:09,590
for human meat.
179
00:06:09,590 --> 00:06:11,260
They're crossbreeding
themselves to become giant.
180
00:06:11,260 --> 00:06:12,920
Point taken,
but this is just supposed to be
181
00:06:12,930 --> 00:06:14,350
a simple,
functioning restaurant.
182
00:06:14,430 --> 00:06:17,190
Wrong! It's a test of my genius.
183
00:06:17,210 --> 00:06:19,040
I tenderized this thing
precisely
184
00:06:19,120 --> 00:06:20,620
for the best mouthfeel.
185
00:06:20,690 --> 00:06:22,880
I seared it the perfect
amount for caramelizing,
186
00:06:22,950 --> 00:06:24,620
and here--lemon juice.
187
00:06:24,700 --> 00:06:26,120
Enhances the flavor.
188
00:06:26,200 --> 00:06:27,770
This is scientifically
delicious.
189
00:06:27,790 --> 00:06:29,340
Taste.
190
00:06:31,290 --> 00:06:34,460
Oh! Oh, Hippo.
You're a genius.
191
00:06:34,620 --> 00:06:36,110
I just said that.
192
00:06:36,120 --> 00:06:38,040
What is that thing your eyes
are doing?
193
00:06:38,120 --> 00:06:39,950
Showing pleasure?
194
00:06:39,950 --> 00:06:42,620
Yeah, but why does
it feel good to me?
195
00:06:42,620 --> 00:06:44,880
Because there's a simple
joy in making people happy?
196
00:06:44,960 --> 00:06:46,730
That can't be it.
Wait a minute.
197
00:06:46,890 --> 00:06:49,130
The satisfaction of the eater
is how I can measure
198
00:06:49,130 --> 00:06:50,900
my greatness!
199
00:06:50,980 --> 00:06:54,560
You think the people out there
will make the same face?
200
00:06:54,560 --> 00:06:57,800
Mmm! Oh, my God.
201
00:06:57,800 --> 00:06:59,970
Mmm!
202
00:06:59,970 --> 00:07:01,160
Feels good, right?
203
00:07:01,160 --> 00:07:03,160
Feels great! Let's go, people.
204
00:07:03,230 --> 00:07:04,750
Fire up the grill!
205
00:07:04,830 --> 00:07:06,920
I got an idea
for a new oyster dish!
206
00:07:07,070 --> 00:07:08,660
Do they hate humans, too?
207
00:07:08,740 --> 00:07:09,920
Hmm. Let me think.
208
00:07:10,000 --> 00:07:11,090
Do you steal their jewelry?
209
00:07:11,170 --> 00:07:13,590
All right! Let's start shucking!
210
00:07:17,270 --> 00:07:19,510
Hi. Welcome to Ty's Man Woman
211
00:07:19,580 --> 00:07:21,080
Table Chairs Food.
212
00:07:21,160 --> 00:07:23,330
Man: The branding is all wrong,
but the food.
213
00:07:23,330 --> 00:07:25,010
Woman: He does a thing
with octopus.
214
00:07:25,170 --> 00:07:26,440
Trust me.
215
00:07:26,590 --> 00:07:28,350
You need to
put octopus on the sign.
216
00:07:28,430 --> 00:07:30,190
Tyrannis: Can I be in charge
of the name, please?
217
00:07:30,260 --> 00:07:32,090
Wait. They kill it
and gut it, too?
218
00:07:32,170 --> 00:07:36,010
Yeah. The sign is
very misleading.
219
00:07:36,010 --> 00:07:38,010
Hippocampus: More turmeric.
220
00:07:38,010 --> 00:07:39,450
Getting there.
221
00:07:39,460 --> 00:07:40,790
Start over!
222
00:07:40,940 --> 00:07:42,290
Chef, I made this chicken.
223
00:07:42,440 --> 00:07:44,020
Be honest. What do you think?
224
00:07:44,030 --> 00:07:45,200
What is it? Boiled?
225
00:07:45,350 --> 00:07:46,700
And you didn't even pluck it!
226
00:07:46,850 --> 00:07:48,040
Casey, you're fired.
227
00:07:48,110 --> 00:07:50,610
Please. I can't lose
another job.
228
00:07:50,620 --> 00:07:53,370
Then stay,
but don't touch anything.
229
00:07:53,530 --> 00:07:54,780
Tyrannis: Hello, hello, hello.
230
00:07:54,860 --> 00:07:55,970
Great business out there.
231
00:07:56,050 --> 00:07:57,050
How's it going back here?
232
00:07:57,200 --> 00:07:59,790
Ty, I'm crushing this.
233
00:07:59,870 --> 00:08:01,220
It's like with science
234
00:08:01,370 --> 00:08:03,290
I make something,
and it's done,
235
00:08:03,310 --> 00:08:06,370
but with food, what I'm
making is deliciousness,
236
00:08:06,370 --> 00:08:08,150
and there's no
upper limit to that,
237
00:08:08,300 --> 00:08:10,480
or if there is,
I intend to find it.
238
00:08:10,490 --> 00:08:12,130
That's why we do it!
239
00:08:12,150 --> 00:08:13,730
So anyway, table 8 would like
the octopus dish
240
00:08:13,730 --> 00:08:15,400
-from yesterday.
-No, no, no.
241
00:08:15,470 --> 00:08:17,900
The octopus dish from yesterday
won't enthrall them
242
00:08:17,900 --> 00:08:19,160
like it did yesterday.
243
00:08:19,160 --> 00:08:20,660
I'm sure they'll be fine
with it.
244
00:08:20,740 --> 00:08:22,810
I just told you
I'm not working for fine.
245
00:08:22,890 --> 00:08:24,560
I'm working for better
than anything,
246
00:08:24,570 --> 00:08:26,480
and better than anything
keeps getting redefined
247
00:08:26,560 --> 00:08:28,080
every time I cook.
248
00:08:28,150 --> 00:08:29,990
I worry that redefining
greatness is getting away
249
00:08:30,060 --> 00:08:31,340
from the original mission.
250
00:08:31,490 --> 00:08:33,400
We only need a functioning
restaurant
251
00:08:33,400 --> 00:08:35,760
-to get on the map.
-Tut, tut, tut.
252
00:08:39,760 --> 00:08:41,350
Mmm!
253
00:08:41,350 --> 00:08:42,850
They will get their food,
they will make the face,
254
00:08:42,930 --> 00:08:44,670
I will be the best,
you will be happy.
255
00:08:44,750 --> 00:08:46,670
OK. Just don't take too long
to cook the food.
256
00:08:46,670 --> 00:08:48,020
These people will eat worms.
257
00:08:48,100 --> 00:08:50,250
And if they do, they will
be the greatest,
258
00:08:50,250 --> 00:08:53,690
most exquisitely prepared worms
anyone has ever tasted.
259
00:08:53,700 --> 00:08:55,340
I don't doubt that.
260
00:08:55,360 --> 00:08:58,350
Bard: ♪ And Deliria's ass
is the finest ass ♪
261
00:08:58,370 --> 00:09:00,350
♪ That the world has ever seen
262
00:09:00,430 --> 00:09:02,940
♪ You could bounce a coin
off a perfect little tushy ♪
263
00:09:03,020 --> 00:09:06,040
Darling, have you heard?
Hippo is quite the chef.
264
00:09:06,040 --> 00:09:08,520
The line at the restaurant
reaches all around the block.
265
00:09:08,540 --> 00:09:10,770
In other news,
we have blocks now.
266
00:09:10,790 --> 00:09:12,880
Interesting,
but I already said
267
00:09:12,880 --> 00:09:14,120
I had no interest.
268
00:09:14,200 --> 00:09:16,030
I'm on record.
269
00:09:16,110 --> 00:09:17,940
♪ She already said she could
not care less ♪
270
00:09:17,940 --> 00:09:20,630
♪ But now she's curious
about it ♪
271
00:09:20,710 --> 00:09:22,060
[Screech]
272
00:09:22,130 --> 00:09:24,630
Ow! Why a cat?!
You know I'm allergic.
273
00:09:24,710 --> 00:09:26,630
This is over the top!
274
00:09:26,640 --> 00:09:27,890
There has to be a give and take.
275
00:09:28,050 --> 00:09:29,710
Haven't I earned that?
276
00:09:29,790 --> 00:09:31,310
Now I'm all the way outside,
277
00:09:31,380 --> 00:09:34,460
and both of my hands
are cats? Why?!
278
00:09:34,460 --> 00:09:35,480
[Cats yowling]
279
00:09:35,630 --> 00:09:36,740
What if we went
to the restaurant
280
00:09:36,960 --> 00:09:38,410
but not as ourselves?
281
00:09:38,410 --> 00:09:40,800
Shlub: I'm always up
for some roleplay.
282
00:09:40,820 --> 00:09:42,390
Ooh. look at us.
283
00:09:42,410 --> 00:09:44,080
[Exaggerated voice]
I'm Cato, a potter.
284
00:09:44,150 --> 00:09:46,820
[Exaggerated voice]
And I'm Dolores, a milkmaid.
285
00:09:46,970 --> 00:09:48,420
And we're not married
286
00:09:48,420 --> 00:09:50,750
Ooh. We're playing
with fire, aren't we?
287
00:09:50,830 --> 00:09:53,100
Ooh! If my husband
were to find out.
288
00:09:53,110 --> 00:09:56,650
Would he fly
into a violent rage?
289
00:09:56,650 --> 00:09:59,080
We're gonna have to
try less sexy disguises,
290
00:09:59,090 --> 00:10:02,050
or we'll never make it
to the restaurant.
291
00:10:06,770 --> 00:10:08,580
[Grunting]
292
00:10:08,660 --> 00:10:10,420
Aah!
293
00:10:10,500 --> 00:10:11,510
Unh!
294
00:10:11,510 --> 00:10:13,610
Aah! Oof!
295
00:10:13,760 --> 00:10:15,360
[Both grunt]
296
00:10:20,450 --> 00:10:22,010
[Spike groans]
297
00:10:22,030 --> 00:10:23,490
Stupendous: No!
298
00:10:27,460 --> 00:10:29,290
[Grunting]
299
00:10:37,300 --> 00:10:38,360
Huh?
300
00:10:38,360 --> 00:10:40,530
This is the Uncrossable Chasm?
301
00:10:40,530 --> 00:10:42,880
It's way more uncrossable
than I thought.
302
00:10:42,950 --> 00:10:44,970
Damn it!
303
00:10:45,120 --> 00:10:47,310
Man: Damn it!
304
00:10:47,310 --> 00:10:49,960
Wait. Are you an echo
or a person?
305
00:10:50,050 --> 00:10:52,480
Man: Wait. Are you
an echo or a person?
306
00:10:52,630 --> 00:10:54,370
No, wait. You go first.
307
00:10:54,370 --> 00:10:56,630
Man: No, I want to go first.
308
00:10:56,630 --> 00:10:58,470
That's what I--hey!
309
00:10:58,550 --> 00:11:02,400
I am Babak
of the Kissurian people.
310
00:11:02,400 --> 00:11:05,990
I am Stupendous of Krapopolis.
311
00:11:05,990 --> 00:11:08,720
-We got maps.
-So did we.
312
00:11:08,720 --> 00:11:10,650
I came here to kick your ass!
313
00:11:10,720 --> 00:11:13,220
Same. I had hoped
the Uncrossable Chasm
314
00:11:13,230 --> 00:11:15,230
was a hyperbolic nickname.
315
00:11:15,230 --> 00:11:17,580
Me, too.
Like the Bottomless Lake.
316
00:11:17,660 --> 00:11:21,510
No, I have been there.
That thing is bottomless.
317
00:11:21,580 --> 00:11:25,830
Huh. Well, I'm not leaving
without kicking your ass.
318
00:11:25,850 --> 00:11:27,850
Ohh--
319
00:11:27,850 --> 00:11:30,350
-We should build a bridge.
-Agreed,
320
00:11:30,430 --> 00:11:32,500
and this is not gonna be
one of those things
321
00:11:32,500 --> 00:11:34,600
where we realize
we work better together.
322
00:11:34,670 --> 00:11:36,080
Absolutely not.
323
00:11:36,080 --> 00:11:38,690
Once the bridge is built,
you die.
324
00:11:40,390 --> 00:11:42,860
Tyrannis: Oh, wow!
The joint is jumping.
325
00:11:42,860 --> 00:11:45,090
Welcome to Ty's Man Woman
Table Chairs
326
00:11:45,090 --> 00:11:46,350
Different Types of Food.
327
00:11:46,430 --> 00:11:48,180
There's just a bit of a wait.
328
00:11:48,260 --> 00:11:51,260
Should be called Ty's Man Woman
Wait Table Chairs Diff--
329
00:11:51,280 --> 00:11:53,110
Can I be in charge
of the name, please?
330
00:11:53,190 --> 00:11:54,860
Fine.
Oh, there's some lady
331
00:11:54,940 --> 00:11:56,430
back there who says
she's a mapmaker.
332
00:11:56,450 --> 00:11:59,530
She's here? Sophie,
welcome to my restaurant.
333
00:11:59,550 --> 00:12:02,270
Is it even a restaurant?
So far, it's just a line.
334
00:12:02,280 --> 00:12:03,720
It's a restaurant!
335
00:12:03,790 --> 00:12:05,140
We're just working out
a few kinks.
336
00:12:05,140 --> 00:12:06,460
You're gonna love it, though.
337
00:12:06,460 --> 00:12:08,280
I'll be the judge
of that, though.
338
00:12:08,280 --> 00:12:09,950
♪ Love our playful banter
339
00:12:09,950 --> 00:12:11,730
Just want food.
340
00:12:13,730 --> 00:12:15,560
[Grunting]
341
00:12:19,720 --> 00:12:23,800
-Aah!
-Arrr!
342
00:12:23,800 --> 00:12:28,240
I will remove your head
and parade it around my city!
343
00:12:28,320 --> 00:12:30,240
I'll put your corpse on a pole
344
00:12:30,320 --> 00:12:32,250
and use strings to move
your arms and mouth
345
00:12:32,400 --> 00:12:34,970
and make it seem like
you're saying bad things.
346
00:12:34,980 --> 00:12:36,400
Like what?
347
00:12:36,420 --> 00:12:38,990
Like "Hi. I'm Babak,
and I eat babies."
348
00:12:39,070 --> 00:12:40,570
[Grunting]
349
00:12:40,590 --> 00:12:42,160
Why would I eat babies?
350
00:12:42,260 --> 00:12:44,570
You Krapopolites
are the baby eaters.
351
00:12:44,580 --> 00:12:46,820
That's a lie!
We fight with honor.
352
00:12:46,820 --> 00:12:49,260
I love that sword!
353
00:12:49,260 --> 00:12:52,670
-[Screaming]
-[Grunting]
354
00:12:52,680 --> 00:12:56,250
You're the ones who sew people's
butts closed like cowards.
355
00:12:56,330 --> 00:12:59,330
We did that one or two times
as a joke.
356
00:12:59,330 --> 00:13:02,110
Meanwhile, you people do
nothing but suck out
357
00:13:02,190 --> 00:13:06,670
your enemies' eyeballs
and feed them to your babies.
358
00:13:06,670 --> 00:13:08,520
Stupendous: I strongly
reprimanded the soldier
359
00:13:08,620 --> 00:13:12,120
-who did that.
-Aah!
360
00:13:12,200 --> 00:13:13,680
-Wait, wait.
-What?
361
00:13:13,680 --> 00:13:15,680
You want to kiss me
before I kill you?
362
00:13:15,680 --> 00:13:16,960
That ain't happening.
363
00:13:16,960 --> 00:13:18,870
No. Why would I want
to kiss you?
364
00:13:18,870 --> 00:13:20,520
It happens more often
than you think.
365
00:13:20,520 --> 00:13:22,780
Sometimes, signals get
crossed in the brain.
366
00:13:22,780 --> 00:13:24,130
No. I--I can see that.
367
00:13:24,210 --> 00:13:26,130
No. The reason I said wait is
368
00:13:26,130 --> 00:13:28,540
does anyone know you're here?
369
00:13:28,620 --> 00:13:29,950
-No.
-Look.
370
00:13:30,050 --> 00:13:31,550
You're gonna kill me,
which is fine.
371
00:13:31,550 --> 00:13:33,050
I accept that.
372
00:13:33,050 --> 00:13:34,720
Then I fall
into the Uncrossable Chasm,
373
00:13:34,720 --> 00:13:39,700
so I die down there,
but I got your leg pretty good.
374
00:13:39,710 --> 00:13:42,710
You won't make it back
across those mountains.
375
00:13:42,800 --> 00:13:45,040
You die on an ice shelf
somewhere,
376
00:13:45,060 --> 00:13:46,540
and then what are we?
377
00:13:46,550 --> 00:13:48,880
A couple of dead fools who
died in a place
378
00:13:48,880 --> 00:13:50,660
no one's ever gonna go to.
379
00:13:50,810 --> 00:13:53,620
Frigging maps. Get up here!
380
00:13:56,480 --> 00:13:58,560
It was gonna be so cool
watching you
381
00:13:58,560 --> 00:14:00,150
fall all that way.
382
00:14:00,230 --> 00:14:02,410
I would have screamed
all the way down for you.
383
00:14:02,560 --> 00:14:08,570
Aaaaaaaaah!
384
00:14:08,570 --> 00:14:13,660
[Trailing off]
385
00:14:13,740 --> 00:14:15,570
Don't rub it in.
386
00:14:15,590 --> 00:14:16,850
We can do this.
387
00:14:16,930 --> 00:14:18,090
We just have to come
up with the most
388
00:14:18,240 --> 00:14:20,500
unsexy personas imaginable.
389
00:14:20,500 --> 00:14:22,340
Let's try this.
390
00:14:22,360 --> 00:14:25,250
[Exaggerated voice]
I'm Sol, a plain old man.
391
00:14:25,270 --> 00:14:28,030
I'm married to my job,
which is counting beans.
392
00:14:28,180 --> 00:14:29,860
[Exaggerated voice]
And I'm Helen.
393
00:14:29,870 --> 00:14:32,510
I have severe body odor
and a stump for a leg.
394
00:14:32,590 --> 00:14:34,520
[Normal voice]
How big of a stump?
395
00:14:34,540 --> 00:14:37,050
[Exaggerated voice] Why don't
you find out, Mr. Bean Counter?
396
00:14:37,060 --> 00:14:38,540
[Moaning]
397
00:14:38,690 --> 00:14:40,430
[Exaggerated voice] I'm
an absolute douchebag
398
00:14:40,450 --> 00:14:44,030
named Money Man
with disgustingly long toenails.
399
00:14:44,100 --> 00:14:46,530
[Normal voice]
Ohh! My top 3 weaknesses.
400
00:14:46,530 --> 00:14:48,270
[Moaning]
401
00:14:48,270 --> 00:14:50,630
-I'm a jellyfish.
-I'm dead.
402
00:14:50,700 --> 00:14:53,040
How dead? No wrong answers.
403
00:14:53,050 --> 00:14:54,370
[Moaning]
404
00:14:54,390 --> 00:14:55,890
Well, I'm beginning to
think that we may
405
00:14:55,890 --> 00:14:57,890
never taste Hippo's food.
406
00:14:57,890 --> 00:15:00,060
Oh, roleplay is
simply too stimulating.
407
00:15:00,210 --> 00:15:02,450
I may just have to swallow
my pride and go as myself.
408
00:15:02,460 --> 00:15:04,140
Bard: ♪ She's swallowing
her pride because ♪
409
00:15:04,220 --> 00:15:05,710
♪ The roleplay was too sexy
410
00:15:05,790 --> 00:15:08,140
Who said you could watch,
not sing.
411
00:15:08,140 --> 00:15:09,980
Hippo, she's here, the map lady.
412
00:15:09,980 --> 00:15:11,980
We need to get moving. Hippo?
413
00:15:12,060 --> 00:15:13,910
He's been like this for an hour.
414
00:15:14,060 --> 00:15:15,630
Brother, brother,
what's going on here?
415
00:15:15,640 --> 00:15:18,320
I'm just trying to
figure out a bay leaf.
416
00:15:18,400 --> 00:15:20,990
Hippo, no. Bay leaves are
already figured out.
417
00:15:21,070 --> 00:15:22,660
They're leaves of bay.
418
00:15:22,660 --> 00:15:24,810
Chef, table 6 is still
waiting on the salmon.
419
00:15:24,810 --> 00:15:26,750
-Is it ready?
-Is it ready?
420
00:15:26,830 --> 00:15:28,900
Let's find out.
421
00:15:28,980 --> 00:15:31,240
No. It's Average.
422
00:15:31,320 --> 00:15:34,150
Average is good,
and good is torture.
423
00:15:34,150 --> 00:15:35,340
Then torture yourself!
424
00:15:35,490 --> 00:15:37,320
Fine. Casey,
get the salmon out
425
00:15:37,320 --> 00:15:39,660
of the garbage and serve it up.
426
00:15:39,660 --> 00:15:42,230
Is it OK if there's
a couple bites missing?
427
00:15:47,430 --> 00:15:50,090
Hello again,
and welcome to Ty's, just Ty's.
428
00:15:50,170 --> 00:15:51,850
Your server then explains
the concept
429
00:15:51,930 --> 00:15:53,260
once you've sat down.
430
00:15:53,340 --> 00:15:55,260
-I like the name.
-You're the first one.
431
00:15:55,280 --> 00:15:57,280
Look at that.
Even gods eat here.
432
00:15:57,360 --> 00:15:59,120
Tell me, son, is this one
of those places
433
00:15:59,200 --> 00:16:01,120
with peanut shells on the floor?
434
00:16:01,200 --> 00:16:02,680
It could be.
Excellent because
435
00:16:02,680 --> 00:16:06,200
on the floor in my scat
are peanut shells.
436
00:16:06,280 --> 00:16:07,850
I could come back.
437
00:16:07,850 --> 00:16:09,780
It seems like you're still
working out the kinks.
438
00:16:09,860 --> 00:16:11,190
No, no, no. Don't leave.
439
00:16:11,190 --> 00:16:12,540
I'll seat you in just a second.
440
00:16:12,620 --> 00:16:14,190
Mum, Dad, do not turn this
into a place
441
00:16:14,190 --> 00:16:15,710
where people don't want to eat.
442
00:16:15,790 --> 00:16:17,700
Hippocampus: Why not?
Couldn't get any worse.
443
00:16:17,700 --> 00:16:20,050
He's got me cooking
crap chickens for crap people.
444
00:16:20,120 --> 00:16:22,120
I thought you were cooking food
worthy of a god.
445
00:16:22,200 --> 00:16:24,390
I was getting there,
but he stopped me.
446
00:16:24,460 --> 00:16:27,810
Screw him. Make me something
that would blow my mind.
447
00:16:27,890 --> 00:16:29,300
I will!
448
00:16:29,380 --> 00:16:30,820
Can I just have
a piece of chicken?
449
00:16:30,890 --> 00:16:32,490
I'm so hungry.
I skipped breakfast.
450
00:16:32,560 --> 00:16:38,570
No. No one eats until
I have pleased this customer.
451
00:16:38,640 --> 00:16:40,310
Tyrannis: Mother, can I ask you
the biggest of favors?
452
00:16:40,390 --> 00:16:42,050
Could you just quickly tell
Hippo that he's
453
00:16:42,060 --> 00:16:43,310
blown your mind,
and be sure to
454
00:16:43,390 --> 00:16:44,650
roll your eyes back
in your head.
455
00:16:44,720 --> 00:16:46,150
He likes that.
456
00:16:46,230 --> 00:16:47,890
If he blows my mind,
I'll let him know.
457
00:16:47,890 --> 00:16:49,990
[Sizzling]
458
00:16:50,060 --> 00:16:51,320
Hmm. Interesting.
459
00:16:51,400 --> 00:16:53,160
Not the best thing you ever had?
460
00:16:53,230 --> 00:16:54,570
Of course not.
461
00:16:54,570 --> 00:16:55,750
[Hippocampus sighs]
462
00:16:55,830 --> 00:16:57,010
[Sizzling]
463
00:16:57,090 --> 00:16:58,740
It's good for humans or dogs.
464
00:16:58,740 --> 00:17:00,510
I can't remember
who eats better.
465
00:17:04,840 --> 00:17:06,090
Hmm. Pleasant.
466
00:17:06,100 --> 00:17:08,020
Pleasant is the baseline!
467
00:17:09,920 --> 00:17:11,920
Hippo, the map lady,
she's gonna leave.
468
00:17:11,920 --> 00:17:13,530
Sophie: Thinking about it.
469
00:17:23,600 --> 00:17:27,110
It's...quite good
for what it is.
470
00:17:27,190 --> 00:17:28,770
Hippo, take the win.
471
00:17:28,770 --> 00:17:31,450
I can't. I can't do it!
472
00:17:31,530 --> 00:17:35,210
I'm a fraud!
I'm an absolute fraud!
473
00:17:35,290 --> 00:17:37,700
Why did I ever think I could be
the best at cooking?
474
00:17:37,780 --> 00:17:39,610
-Mmm!
-Mmm!
475
00:17:39,610 --> 00:17:40,700
Ha ha ha!
476
00:17:40,780 --> 00:17:42,280
Everyone, out!
477
00:17:42,280 --> 00:17:45,120
A delight from start to finish!
We'll dine again!
478
00:17:45,120 --> 00:17:48,540
I said out! Get out!
479
00:17:48,620 --> 00:17:49,730
Rah!
480
00:17:49,810 --> 00:17:52,070
[People shouting]
481
00:17:52,140 --> 00:17:53,900
I think I've seen
what I need to see.
482
00:17:53,980 --> 00:17:56,130
Hippocampus: Aah!
483
00:17:56,130 --> 00:17:57,400
Tyrannis:
Thank you for dining at Ty's
484
00:17:57,480 --> 00:18:00,910
Walk In Sit Down
Don't Eat Run Away.
485
00:18:00,980 --> 00:18:02,480
I hate the mapped world.
486
00:18:02,560 --> 00:18:05,060
It used to be you'd go off on
an adventure.
487
00:18:05,080 --> 00:18:06,580
You wouldn't know what
you'd find
488
00:18:06,660 --> 00:18:08,400
or who you'd have to kill.
489
00:18:08,470 --> 00:18:10,810
Yeah, used to be anyone
could show up
490
00:18:10,810 --> 00:18:12,570
at your doorstep, anyone?
491
00:18:12,650 --> 00:18:14,750
My whole army was driven
by the possibility
492
00:18:14,830 --> 00:18:16,310
of your invasion.
493
00:18:16,320 --> 00:18:18,570
-Us, too.
-That's why I came here.
494
00:18:18,650 --> 00:18:21,170
What I really wanted
to fight was that map,
495
00:18:21,170 --> 00:18:23,250
but I guess the map won.
496
00:18:23,320 --> 00:18:26,170
Wait, but now the map is wrong.
497
00:18:26,250 --> 00:18:29,590
This is supposed to be
the Uncrossable Chasm,
498
00:18:29,660 --> 00:18:31,160
but now it's covered
499
00:18:31,160 --> 00:18:33,500
by the Dangerous
but Doable Bridge.
500
00:18:33,500 --> 00:18:36,850
You go home and tell your people
that map is wrong.
501
00:18:36,930 --> 00:18:38,430
Tell them we're coming,
502
00:18:38,500 --> 00:18:40,930
and our babies are hungry
for eyeballs.
503
00:18:41,010 --> 00:18:44,100
-Ha ha ha!
-Ha ha ha!
504
00:18:44,120 --> 00:18:45,680
[Babak grunts]
505
00:18:45,680 --> 00:18:48,010
Wait. You think we have
enough battle scars?
506
00:18:48,010 --> 00:18:49,530
It's got to be realistic.
507
00:18:49,610 --> 00:18:52,020
Oh, right. You want to just
take this eyeball?
508
00:18:52,020 --> 00:18:54,020
-Sure.
-You want to sew my butt shut?
509
00:18:54,020 --> 00:18:58,360
I'd like that.
I'd like that very much.
510
00:18:58,360 --> 00:18:59,450
[Sobbing]
511
00:18:59,530 --> 00:19:01,450
-You did this to me.
-I did?
512
00:19:01,530 --> 00:19:03,290
You let me believe that cooking
513
00:19:03,360 --> 00:19:05,050
could be
scientifically measurable.
514
00:19:05,120 --> 00:19:06,550
That's because I couldn't
get you to just cook
515
00:19:06,620 --> 00:19:08,050
for the sheer pleasure
of doing something
516
00:19:08,130 --> 00:19:09,530
for someone else.
517
00:19:09,540 --> 00:19:11,050
Altruism? There's no such thing.
518
00:19:11,130 --> 00:19:13,370
Helping other people
is always self-serving.
519
00:19:13,370 --> 00:19:15,150
I built this city
for other people,
520
00:19:15,220 --> 00:19:17,880
and I wanted a restaurant
for the good of the people.
521
00:19:17,880 --> 00:19:21,990
Oh, a restaurant called Ty's,
where I did all the work?
522
00:19:22,060 --> 00:19:23,640
Branding was important!
523
00:19:23,720 --> 00:19:25,640
You didn't build
this city to help people, Ty.
524
00:19:25,720 --> 00:19:28,160
You built it to be the guy
who helped people.
525
00:19:28,240 --> 00:19:30,550
The city was my penis,
wasn't it?
526
00:19:30,560 --> 00:19:32,070
-What?!
-No.
527
00:19:32,150 --> 00:19:34,740
I was just saying
it's an extension of my ego.
528
00:19:34,820 --> 00:19:36,080
Then say that.
529
00:19:36,150 --> 00:19:38,410
Well, forgive me
for being poetic.
530
00:19:38,490 --> 00:19:40,250
Casey: Hey, guys.
What's so wrong
531
00:19:40,320 --> 00:19:43,230
about helping people
for the sake of your own ego?
532
00:19:43,240 --> 00:19:45,250
-Huh?
-I mean, you made a city
533
00:19:45,330 --> 00:19:47,590
to get kudos,
and you cooked
534
00:19:47,740 --> 00:19:49,500
for the good eye rolls,
535
00:19:49,580 --> 00:19:52,190
but either way,
you guys gave me a job,
536
00:19:52,260 --> 00:19:55,000
and I was on the verge
of ending it all in a brothel.
537
00:19:55,080 --> 00:19:57,430
I'm just saying good
did come out of this,
538
00:19:57,510 --> 00:20:00,110
whether or not
it's why you did it.
539
00:20:01,700 --> 00:20:03,200
How do you like the sound
540
00:20:03,270 --> 00:20:07,160
of Casey's Man Woman Eat Chicken
Table?
541
00:20:08,590 --> 00:20:11,280
Thanks for coming back.
So was that the best
542
00:20:11,360 --> 00:20:12,870
whole, boiled, unplucked chicken
543
00:20:13,020 --> 00:20:15,280
-you've ever had?
-First and hopefully last.
544
00:20:15,360 --> 00:20:17,530
So good enough to put
us on the map?
545
00:20:17,600 --> 00:20:19,600
Yeah. I'll make a note
that Krapopolis has
546
00:20:19,610 --> 00:20:21,200
a restaurant you should
definitely avoid...
547
00:20:21,270 --> 00:20:22,940
-Oh.
-but a king
548
00:20:22,940 --> 00:20:24,280
who tries real hard.
549
00:20:24,280 --> 00:20:26,960
I'll take the win.
Mum, Dad, no!
550
00:20:27,040 --> 00:20:29,780
My name is Sam the Jellyfish.
551
00:20:29,780 --> 00:20:32,100
And I'm Jessica,
and I'm dead.
552
00:20:36,290 --> 00:20:38,480
[Speaking Octopus]
553
00:21:22,430 --> 00:21:23,690
Dan Harmon: Did you get
any of that?
554
00:21:26,670 --> 00:21:27,660
Voice: Bento!
[Cheering]
40118
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