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1
00:00:03,304 --> 00:00:05,206
Happy New Year, Chris!
2
00:00:05,239 --> 00:00:07,375
CHRIS ROCK:
New Year's Eve
was big in Bed-Stuy
3
00:00:07,408 --> 00:00:09,110
because it gave everybody
4
00:00:09,143 --> 00:00:11,112
a chance to make
new resolutions.
5
00:00:11,145 --> 00:00:13,381
Unfortunately, most people
didn't follow through on them.
6
00:00:13,414 --> 00:00:16,050
Not my mother.
7
00:00:16,084 --> 00:00:18,352
This year, I'm going to stop
yelling at my children.
8
00:00:18,386 --> 00:00:20,154
No, you're not!
9
00:00:20,188 --> 00:00:23,191
Who put a glass on my table
without a coaster?!
10
00:00:25,826 --> 00:00:27,428
Not my sister.
11
00:00:27,461 --> 00:00:30,264
This year I'm not going to
get Chris in trouble anymore.
12
00:00:30,298 --> 00:00:31,532
Yes, you will.
13
00:00:31,565 --> 00:00:32,833
ROCHELLE:
Who's been in my make-up bag?!
14
00:00:32,866 --> 00:00:34,802
Chris did it!!
15
00:00:35,736 --> 00:00:37,771
Not my father.
16
00:00:37,805 --> 00:00:39,240
I'm going to stop
worrying about money.
17
00:00:39,273 --> 00:00:40,541
Stop lying!
18
00:00:40,574 --> 00:00:41,575
Chris, close that door!
19
00:00:41,609 --> 00:00:44,378
You just let out 86 cent
worth of refrigeration.
20
00:00:47,215 --> 00:00:48,382
Not my brother.
21
00:00:48,416 --> 00:00:50,784
This year, I'm not going to take
any more girls from Chris.
22
00:00:50,818 --> 00:00:52,220
We'll see about that.
23
00:00:52,253 --> 00:00:53,687
That's so
sweet, Drew.
24
00:00:53,721 --> 00:00:54,422
Who's Chris?
25
00:00:56,157 --> 00:00:58,126
I'm Chris.
You came in with me.
26
00:00:58,159 --> 00:01:00,194
But I was going
to be different.
27
00:01:00,228 --> 00:01:02,230
(alarm buzzing)
28
00:01:02,263 --> 00:01:05,233
Last year, this is how
I celebrated New Year's Eve.
29
00:01:05,266 --> 00:01:07,101
(noisemaker honks)
30
00:01:07,135 --> 00:01:09,270
So I made a resolution
that my next New Year's Eve
31
00:01:09,303 --> 00:01:10,871
would be different.
32
00:01:10,904 --> 00:01:14,542
So, you doing anything special
for New Year's Eve, Chris?
33
00:01:14,575 --> 00:01:16,644
I'm going down
to Times Square to
watch the ball drop.
34
00:01:16,677 --> 00:01:18,546
Times Square?
You crazy?
35
00:01:18,579 --> 00:01:21,815
The only people down there
are drunks and pickpockets.
36
00:01:21,849 --> 00:01:24,552
I don't care, it's the biggest
New Year's celebration on Earth
37
00:01:24,585 --> 00:01:26,720
and I live 20 minutes
from it and I haven't been.
38
00:01:26,754 --> 00:01:28,322
Well...(noisemaker honks),
39
00:01:28,356 --> 00:01:31,192
I sell New Year's,
I don't celebrate it.
40
00:01:31,225 --> 00:01:32,760
Why not?
41
00:01:32,793 --> 00:01:34,595
Because anything could happen.
42
00:01:34,628 --> 00:01:36,764
You remember when
Michael Jackson
43
00:01:36,797 --> 00:01:38,332
got his hair caught on fire?
44
00:01:38,366 --> 00:01:41,735
I bet you any money
he celebrated New Year's.
45
00:01:41,769 --> 00:01:43,604
And look what happened.
46
00:01:43,637 --> 00:01:46,807
If I get through tonight,
I'll celebrate tomorrow.
47
00:01:46,840 --> 00:01:48,842
Doc was the only person
I knew who celebrated
48
00:01:48,876 --> 00:01:50,378
Old New Year's Eve.
49
00:01:50,411 --> 00:01:51,912
Is your mama going
to let you go down there?
50
00:01:51,945 --> 00:01:53,147
I don't see why not.
51
00:01:53,181 --> 00:01:54,448
All I got to do is ask.
52
00:01:54,482 --> 00:01:56,350
Ma, can I go
to Times Square
53
00:01:56,384 --> 00:01:58,319
to watch
the ball drop?
No.
54
00:01:58,352 --> 00:01:59,853
Happy New Year!
55
00:02:12,300 --> 00:02:15,336
* Ah, make it funky now.
56
00:02:15,369 --> 00:02:25,413
Captioning sponsored by
PARAMOUNT TELEVISION
57
00:02:25,413 --> 00:02:33,487
Captioning sponsored by
PARAMOUNT TELEVISION
58
00:02:33,521 --> 00:02:35,356
CHRIS ROCK:
I wanted to be in Times Square
59
00:02:35,389 --> 00:02:37,458
when the clock struck midnight,
but I struck out.
60
00:02:37,491 --> 00:02:38,392
Come on, ma, why not?
61
00:02:38,426 --> 00:02:40,861
I mean all we do is
stay up till 11:59,
62
00:02:40,894 --> 00:02:42,263
say, "Happy New Year,"
blow a noisemaker,
63
00:02:42,296 --> 00:02:43,264
and then go to sleep.
64
00:02:43,297 --> 00:02:44,898
I want to do
something different.
65
00:02:44,932 --> 00:02:46,734
Like what?
Get drunk,
66
00:02:46,767 --> 00:02:47,968
rip your shirt off
in the freezing cold
67
00:02:48,001 --> 00:02:50,271
and have the cops
arrest you
68
00:02:50,304 --> 00:02:51,705
and spend the first day
of the new year in jail?
69
00:02:51,739 --> 00:02:53,474
Who wants to do that?
Lindsay Lohan!
70
00:02:53,507 --> 00:02:55,343
Well, obviously, you do.
71
00:02:55,376 --> 00:02:56,944
That's what happens to people
who go to Times Square.
72
00:02:56,977 --> 00:02:58,412
I just want to see
the ball drop.
73
00:02:58,446 --> 00:02:59,413
You can't
go with me?
74
00:02:59,447 --> 00:03:00,881
I don't have
the time, Chris.
75
00:03:00,914 --> 00:03:02,516
I got to soak my
black eyed peas,
76
00:03:02,550 --> 00:03:04,918
I got to pull my greens,
I got to clean them...
77
00:03:04,952 --> 00:03:06,420
She's a bale of cotton away
78
00:03:06,454 --> 00:03:08,256
from setting us back
300 years.
79
00:03:08,289 --> 00:03:10,224
Why do you have to do all that
stuff every year anyway?
80
00:03:10,258 --> 00:03:12,593
It's a tradition, Chris.
It's for good luck.
81
00:03:12,626 --> 00:03:15,896
There's a reason black people
think vegetables are lucky.
82
00:03:15,929 --> 00:03:18,732
They're coming, quick,
hide behind these greens.
83
00:03:22,002 --> 00:03:24,738
(dogs bark)
84
00:03:29,577 --> 00:03:32,280
Should've ate some greens
before I came and asked you.
85
00:03:32,313 --> 00:03:33,347
Ooh, you better watch your mouth
86
00:03:33,381 --> 00:03:35,583
unless you want to get
smacked into the new year.
87
00:03:35,616 --> 00:03:38,552
Drew, Tonya, get in here!
88
00:03:42,623 --> 00:03:43,824
Okay, here's the list.
89
00:03:43,857 --> 00:03:44,958
Make sure you
get everything.
90
00:03:44,992 --> 00:03:47,361
Can I stay up and watch
Rocking New Year's Eve?
91
00:03:47,395 --> 00:03:48,429
The Jets are on.
92
00:03:48,462 --> 00:03:49,730
The football team?
93
00:03:49,763 --> 00:03:50,998
No, they're a
singing group.
94
00:03:51,031 --> 00:03:52,933
They're just like
the Jacksons, only Samoan.
95
00:03:52,966 --> 00:03:54,768
Oh, fine, but just
hurry up, and, Drew,
96
00:03:54,802 --> 00:03:55,969
do not forget
the kitty litter.
97
00:03:56,003 --> 00:03:57,405
Okay.
98
00:03:57,438 --> 00:04:02,009
Meanwhile, my father was on
a bridge over troubled water.
99
00:04:02,042 --> 00:04:03,977
Hey, what's
going on up there?
100
00:04:04,011 --> 00:04:06,347
Some idiot's threatening
to jump off the bridge.
101
00:04:06,380 --> 00:04:07,948
Why couldn't he jump
off the Triborough?
102
00:04:07,981 --> 00:04:10,318
We're going to be
out here all day.
103
00:04:10,351 --> 00:04:11,719
What?
104
00:04:11,752 --> 00:04:13,020
Man, I'm trying to get home.
105
00:04:15,323 --> 00:04:17,491
While Tonya was
planning on staying up,
106
00:04:17,525 --> 00:04:20,060
Drew was planning on
taking her down.
107
00:04:20,093 --> 00:04:22,296
* I've got a
crush on you *
108
00:04:22,330 --> 00:04:23,531
I don't know why
you're singing.
109
00:04:23,564 --> 00:04:25,899
You know you're going to fall
asleep before the Jets come on.
110
00:04:25,933 --> 00:04:27,034
You never make it
past 10:00.
111
00:04:27,067 --> 00:04:28,502
I bet you
I do tonight.
112
00:04:28,536 --> 00:04:30,538
I bet you don't.
How much?
113
00:04:30,571 --> 00:04:32,640
If you fall asleep,
you owe me 20 bucks.
114
00:04:32,673 --> 00:04:33,907
And if you fall
asleep, I'm going
115
00:04:33,941 --> 00:04:35,008
to glue your hand
to your face.
116
00:04:35,042 --> 00:04:36,610
I don't see how
since you won't have
117
00:04:36,644 --> 00:04:37,611
money for glue.
(chuckles)
118
00:04:39,046 --> 00:04:41,449
Meanwhile, if I wanted
to keep my resolution,
119
00:04:41,482 --> 00:04:43,351
it was going to take
some resolve.
120
00:04:43,384 --> 00:04:44,585
Mom...
No, Chris.
121
00:04:44,618 --> 00:04:47,421
But I made one resolution and
that was to go to Times Square.
122
00:04:47,455 --> 00:04:48,422
That's not my fault.
123
00:04:48,456 --> 00:04:49,623
But it's my resolution.
124
00:04:49,657 --> 00:04:51,425
Is that what
you want for me,
125
00:04:51,459 --> 00:04:52,460
to end up in prison?
126
00:04:52,493 --> 00:04:53,661
What?
127
00:04:53,694 --> 00:04:55,463
I'm just saying,
I made a resolution
128
00:04:55,496 --> 00:04:56,964
and if I accept
no for an answer,
129
00:04:56,997 --> 00:04:58,031
that means
I accept defeat.
130
00:04:58,065 --> 00:04:59,533
Then I'll fall into
a crowd of people
131
00:04:59,567 --> 00:05:01,369
who have no hopes or dreams,
and eventually,
132
00:05:01,402 --> 00:05:02,803
I end up in the wrong place
at the wrong time
133
00:05:02,836 --> 00:05:05,038
doing the wrong thing
and that ends in prison.
134
00:05:05,072 --> 00:05:06,874
Well, can you find
somebody else to take you?
135
00:05:06,907 --> 00:05:08,008
I can try.
136
00:05:08,041 --> 00:05:09,910
Get out of here, boy.
137
00:05:11,479 --> 00:05:13,514
Back on the bridge,
a man was suicidal
138
00:05:13,547 --> 00:05:15,949
and my father
wanted to kill him.
139
00:05:15,983 --> 00:05:17,585
What are you
doing up here, man?
140
00:05:17,618 --> 00:05:19,820
Do you know you got
traffic backed up
141
00:05:19,853 --> 00:05:21,889
all the way to exit
the Lincoln Tunnel?
142
00:05:21,922 --> 00:05:23,391
It's New Year's Eve!
143
00:05:23,424 --> 00:05:25,359
People are trying
to get home.
144
00:05:25,393 --> 00:05:27,795
I can't do
anything right.
145
00:05:27,828 --> 00:05:30,498
So you think you can fix that
by jumping off a bridge?
146
00:05:30,531 --> 00:05:32,700
Give me one good
reason I shouldn't.
147
00:05:32,733 --> 00:05:35,035
He shouldn't have said that.
148
00:05:35,068 --> 00:05:37,638
What if everybody
who ever had a problem
149
00:05:37,671 --> 00:05:40,007
jumped off a bridge?
150
00:05:40,040 --> 00:05:41,509
Geraldine Ferraro
could've been
151
00:05:41,542 --> 00:05:43,577
our country's first
female Vice President,
152
00:05:43,611 --> 00:05:45,679
but her party lost.
153
00:05:45,713 --> 00:05:47,615
She didn't jump
off a bridge.
154
00:05:47,648 --> 00:05:51,385
Nelson Mandela's been
in jail for over 20 years.
155
00:05:51,419 --> 00:05:53,721
He didn't jump
off a bridge.
156
00:05:53,754 --> 00:05:57,090
Ivan Lendl got stomped
by Boris Becker at Wimbledon.
157
00:05:57,124 --> 00:05:59,693
Didn't jump off a bridge.
158
00:05:59,727 --> 00:06:02,062
Trevor Berbick, (chuckles)
he got knocked out
159
00:06:02,095 --> 00:06:04,865
by Mike Tyson in less
than five minutes.
160
00:06:04,898 --> 00:06:07,435
He didn't jump
off a bridge!
161
00:06:07,468 --> 00:06:09,737
Jermaine Jackson
got kicked out
of the Jacksons.
162
00:06:09,770 --> 00:06:11,872
My father was on the bridge,
163
00:06:11,905 --> 00:06:13,541
and soon after,
he was on the air.
164
00:06:13,574 --> 00:06:16,544
What? Now?!
165
00:06:16,577 --> 00:06:17,445
Quick, turn on the TV.
166
00:06:17,478 --> 00:06:19,112
Your father is on!
He stopped some guy
167
00:06:19,146 --> 00:06:21,415
from jumping off the
George Washington Bridge.
168
00:06:21,449 --> 00:06:23,917
Okay, I'll call you back.
169
00:06:23,951 --> 00:06:26,153
What channel?
All three of them.
170
00:06:26,186 --> 00:06:27,755
JULIUS:
Jermaine Jackson got
kicked out of the Jacksons.
171
00:06:27,788 --> 00:06:30,090
He didn't jump off a bridge.
172
00:06:30,123 --> 00:06:31,792
Julius, you're
a real hero.
173
00:06:31,825 --> 00:06:34,428
You saved a life,
but more importantly,
174
00:06:34,462 --> 00:06:35,896
you got traffic moving again.
175
00:06:35,929 --> 00:06:37,665
Back to you at the studio.
176
00:06:37,698 --> 00:06:40,100
The Chicago Cubs haven't won
a World Series since 1908.
177
00:06:40,133 --> 00:06:41,769
They didn't jump off a bridge.
178
00:06:41,802 --> 00:06:44,171
James Earl Jones
lost the Oscar
179
00:06:44,204 --> 00:06:45,839
for his performance
in The Great White Hope.
180
00:06:45,873 --> 00:06:47,608
He didn't jump off a bridge.
181
00:06:47,641 --> 00:06:49,443
No.
Trevor Berbick
got knocked out
182
00:06:49,477 --> 00:06:51,479
by Mike Tyson
in less than five minutes.
183
00:06:51,512 --> 00:06:53,113
He did not jump off a bridge.
184
00:06:53,146 --> 00:06:56,684
Oh, my God,
your father's a star.
185
00:06:56,717 --> 00:06:57,818
Wow!
186
00:06:57,851 --> 00:07:00,654
Did he jump off a bridge? No.
187
00:07:00,688 --> 00:07:01,922
Well, Julius,
you're just full of--
188
00:07:01,955 --> 00:07:03,023
Remember that movie,
Top Gun?
189
00:07:03,056 --> 00:07:05,593
While my dad was
getting off the bridge,
190
00:07:05,626 --> 00:07:07,695
I was trying to
get out of the house.
191
00:07:07,728 --> 00:07:08,896
I can't believe
your dad saved a guy.
192
00:07:08,929 --> 00:07:10,731
That's so cool.
193
00:07:10,764 --> 00:07:13,066
You know, if that guy had been
a girl, he'd be so in there.
194
00:07:13,100 --> 00:07:15,235
Another one of Greg's
pickup techniques.
195
00:07:15,268 --> 00:07:16,770
If you stop a girl
from killing herself,
196
00:07:16,804 --> 00:07:18,005
she might go out with you.
197
00:07:18,038 --> 00:07:19,473
Listen, what you doing tonight?
198
00:07:19,507 --> 00:07:22,175
Well, my mom's got a
new boyfriend, he's Asian.
199
00:07:22,209 --> 00:07:23,577
They're talking about
going down to Times Square.
200
00:07:23,611 --> 00:07:24,545
What about you?
201
00:07:24,578 --> 00:07:26,246
Times Square, are you serious?
202
00:07:26,279 --> 00:07:27,581
I've been trying to find
somebody to take me
203
00:07:27,615 --> 00:07:28,749
'cause my mom can't do it.
204
00:07:28,782 --> 00:07:29,883
Why don't you just come with us?
205
00:07:29,917 --> 00:07:31,519
Let me check with my mom,
I'll call you right back.
206
00:07:31,552 --> 00:07:33,153
All right, I'll talk to you.
207
00:07:33,186 --> 00:07:34,688
Ma, that was Greg.
208
00:07:34,722 --> 00:07:35,756
His mom is taking him
down to Times Square.
209
00:07:35,789 --> 00:07:36,824
You think I could
go with them?
210
00:07:36,857 --> 00:07:38,659
Greg? I guess that's okay.
211
00:07:38,692 --> 00:07:39,760
Thanks.
212
00:07:39,793 --> 00:07:41,061
Go get me some water.
213
00:07:42,730 --> 00:07:45,733
(laughs)
214
00:07:45,766 --> 00:07:47,968
(phone ringing)
215
00:07:48,001 --> 00:07:49,970
Hello?
Dude, it's Greg.
216
00:07:50,003 --> 00:07:51,639
What'd she say?
I got some bad news.
217
00:07:51,672 --> 00:07:54,508
They're going to
celebrate New Year's Eve,
218
00:07:54,542 --> 00:07:57,545
but it's not in Times Square,
it's in Tiananmen Square.
219
00:07:57,578 --> 00:08:00,180
And it's not tonight,
it's the Chinese New Year.
220
00:08:00,213 --> 00:08:02,015
So it's not till February.
221
00:08:02,049 --> 00:08:04,652
But she said you can
still come if you want.
222
00:08:04,685 --> 00:08:06,687
To China? No, I don't think
I'll be able to make it.
223
00:08:06,720 --> 00:08:07,888
Sorry, dude.
224
00:08:09,089 --> 00:08:11,124
Too bad I didn't make
a New Year's resolution
225
00:08:11,158 --> 00:08:13,126
to be depressed.
226
00:08:17,565 --> 00:08:19,299
CHRIS ROCK:
Since Greg didn't
come through in the clutch,
227
00:08:19,332 --> 00:08:21,769
I decided to see who could
come through on the block.
228
00:08:21,802 --> 00:08:23,537
I tried Risky.
229
00:08:23,571 --> 00:08:25,238
My mom said if I can find a
responsible adult to take me
230
00:08:25,272 --> 00:08:26,840
I can go down to Times Square.
231
00:08:26,874 --> 00:08:27,841
Aw, sorry, man, I can't.
232
00:08:27,875 --> 00:08:30,844
I've got to deliver some
time-sensitive products.
233
00:08:30,878 --> 00:08:32,012
What type of products?
234
00:08:32,045 --> 00:08:35,849
(chuckles):
1986 calendars.
235
00:08:35,883 --> 00:08:37,651
I tried Mr. Omar.
236
00:08:37,685 --> 00:08:40,220
I'm sorry, Chris,
I can't take you.
237
00:08:40,253 --> 00:08:42,089
For an undertaker,
New Year's Eve is like
238
00:08:42,122 --> 00:08:44,625
the day before the
after Christmas sale.
239
00:08:44,658 --> 00:08:48,762
People act like drunken fools
tonight, and dead tomorrow.
240
00:08:48,796 --> 00:08:50,598
Tragic, tragic!
241
00:08:50,631 --> 00:08:53,200
(engine starts)
242
00:08:56,970 --> 00:08:58,772
I even tried Kill Moves.
243
00:08:58,806 --> 00:09:00,974
I had to start using the word
"responsible" loosely.
244
00:09:01,008 --> 00:09:02,242
Kill Moves, wake up.
245
00:09:02,275 --> 00:09:05,212
I'm awake, I just
got my eyes closed.
246
00:09:05,245 --> 00:09:07,581
I'm testing their opacity.
247
00:09:07,615 --> 00:09:08,616
What do you need?
248
00:09:08,649 --> 00:09:09,917
I was wondering if you
wanted to go with me tonight
249
00:09:09,950 --> 00:09:11,184
to see the ball drop
in Times Square.
250
00:09:11,218 --> 00:09:12,653
I would love to!
251
00:09:12,686 --> 00:09:14,054
But I can't see
through my eyelids,
252
00:09:14,087 --> 00:09:15,789
so I don't see what
the point would be.
253
00:09:16,924 --> 00:09:21,061
Hey, hey, Chris? Chris?
254
00:09:21,094 --> 00:09:25,165
That New Year's Eve, my father
was on TV more than Dick Clark.
255
00:09:25,198 --> 00:09:27,801
Hey, look, there's
Dad on TV again!
256
00:09:27,835 --> 00:09:29,102
JULIUS:
So, I climbed up the girder
257
00:09:29,136 --> 00:09:30,804
to where the guy
was sitting and I said,
258
00:09:30,838 --> 00:09:34,341
"What if everybody who ever had
a problem jumped off a bridge?"
259
00:09:34,374 --> 00:09:36,744
Climbed up a girder?
260
00:09:36,777 --> 00:09:38,211
To keep from falling asleep,
261
00:09:38,245 --> 00:09:40,681
Tonya got herself
a secret weapon.
262
00:09:40,714 --> 00:09:42,750
Instant coffee.
263
00:09:42,783 --> 00:09:46,153
For staying awake, it's the
next best thing to crack.
264
00:09:46,186 --> 00:09:48,221
Hey, Tonya,
come watch Dad on TV.
265
00:09:48,255 --> 00:09:52,025
I am, I just got to go
to the bathroom first.
266
00:09:52,059 --> 00:09:55,162
The Chicago Cubs haven't won
the World Series since 1908.
267
00:09:55,195 --> 00:09:57,898
They didn't
jump off a bridge.
268
00:09:57,931 --> 00:09:59,633
Dad's on TV again?
269
00:09:59,667 --> 00:10:01,101
Yeah, before he
talked that guy down,
270
00:10:01,134 --> 00:10:02,736
he had to climb up to the
top of the bridge to do it.
271
00:10:02,770 --> 00:10:03,937
It was so cool.
272
00:10:03,971 --> 00:10:06,173
No, that was not cool,
it was crazy.
273
00:10:06,206 --> 00:10:07,574
It was crazy-cool!
274
00:10:07,607 --> 00:10:11,779
We're here at Chris' house
where we've secretly replaced
275
00:10:11,812 --> 00:10:14,848
the fine coffee they usually
serve with Folgers Crystals.
276
00:10:14,882 --> 00:10:16,984
Let's see if anyone
can tell the difference.
277
00:10:22,155 --> 00:10:24,825
Maybe that wasn't Folgers!
278
00:10:24,858 --> 00:10:27,427
Chris, did you find somebody
to take you to Times Square?
279
00:10:27,460 --> 00:10:29,730
Not yet. You think
Dad could take me?
280
00:10:29,763 --> 00:10:32,399
Oh, well, go climb up a bridge
and maybe he'll come get you.
281
00:10:32,432 --> 00:10:34,434
(phone rings)
Give me that.
282
00:10:34,467 --> 00:10:36,937
Hello?
283
00:10:36,970 --> 00:10:37,938
Hey, honey, it's me.
284
00:10:37,971 --> 00:10:39,239
Where are you?
285
00:10:39,272 --> 00:10:40,674
I just got off an interview.
286
00:10:40,708 --> 00:10:42,142
It's crazy!
287
00:10:42,175 --> 00:10:43,877
This morning I was just
coming home from work and--
288
00:10:43,911 --> 00:10:46,914
I know what you've been doing,
it's all over the news.
289
00:10:46,947 --> 00:10:48,281
What the hell is wrong with you?
290
00:10:48,315 --> 00:10:50,751
What? I just talked
a man down from--
291
00:10:50,784 --> 00:10:52,820
No, you didn't just
talk a man down.
292
00:10:52,853 --> 00:10:55,989
You just climbed up onto
a girder to talk a man down.
293
00:10:56,023 --> 00:10:57,390
While you were up there
saving his life,
294
00:10:57,424 --> 00:10:58,992
did you think
about your family?
295
00:10:59,026 --> 00:11:01,228
I mean, what if that
fool would've jumped
296
00:11:01,261 --> 00:11:02,262
and took you with him?
297
00:11:02,295 --> 00:11:03,731
Did you think about that?
298
00:11:03,764 --> 00:11:05,065
I saved his life.
299
00:11:05,098 --> 00:11:07,034
And you almost
got yourself killed.
300
00:11:07,067 --> 00:11:09,202
Your son needed you,
and you were out there
301
00:11:09,236 --> 00:11:11,271
on top of the George
Washington Bridge.
302
00:11:11,304 --> 00:11:12,405
Needed me for what?
303
00:11:12,439 --> 00:11:13,240
You know what?
304
00:11:13,273 --> 00:11:14,942
I'm not even gonna
deal with this.
305
00:11:14,975 --> 00:11:16,076
Chris, it's for you.
306
00:11:16,109 --> 00:11:17,845
It's Spider-Man.
307
00:11:17,878 --> 00:11:19,947
If he doesn't come home soon,
she's gonna be the Black Widow.
308
00:11:19,980 --> 00:11:22,282
Hey, Dad, I was wondering
if you could take me down
309
00:11:22,315 --> 00:11:24,017
to Times Square to see
the ball drop tonight.
310
00:11:24,051 --> 00:11:26,086
Yeah, man, I'd love to...
311
00:11:26,119 --> 00:11:26,954
All right, cool,
I'll go get ready.
312
00:11:26,987 --> 00:11:28,488
I'd love to, but I can't.
313
00:11:28,521 --> 00:11:30,190
I have to go downtown
with the mayor
314
00:11:30,223 --> 00:11:31,792
and get the key to the city.
315
00:11:31,825 --> 00:11:33,026
Then dinner with Batman.
316
00:11:33,060 --> 00:11:34,461
I probably won't
be back in time.
317
00:11:34,494 --> 00:11:36,463
The traffic's still
pretty bad out here.
318
00:11:36,496 --> 00:11:38,498
Why don't you get
your mother to take you?
319
00:11:38,531 --> 00:11:41,201
Just because I can't go
to Times Square tonight,
320
00:11:41,234 --> 00:11:43,871
am I gonna jump off a bridge?
321
00:11:48,041 --> 00:11:50,778
When I realized my resolution
wasn't going to work out,
322
00:11:50,811 --> 00:11:53,847
I decided to make a new one--
no more resolutions.
323
00:11:53,881 --> 00:11:55,148
(knock on door)
324
00:11:55,182 --> 00:11:56,449
Hey, baby, what you doing?
325
00:11:56,483 --> 00:11:58,151
Getting ready for tonight.
326
00:11:58,185 --> 00:12:00,287
Well, I'm sorry you couldn't
find anybody to go with.
327
00:12:00,320 --> 00:12:01,488
Maybe next year.
328
00:12:01,521 --> 00:12:02,990
Yeah.
329
00:12:03,023 --> 00:12:05,793
Tasha is downstairs.
330
00:12:09,863 --> 00:12:11,064
Hey, Chris.
331
00:12:11,098 --> 00:12:12,232
I saw your dad on TV.
332
00:12:12,265 --> 00:12:13,901
That was really brave,
what he did.
333
00:12:13,934 --> 00:12:15,836
Yeah, I guess.
334
00:12:17,805 --> 00:12:19,840
What's wrong?
Nothing.
I was just
335
00:12:19,873 --> 00:12:21,441
hoping my dad could take me
to Times Square tonight,
336
00:12:21,474 --> 00:12:23,076
but he's all tied up
with these interviews.
337
00:12:23,110 --> 00:12:24,344
I'm going to Times
Square tonight
338
00:12:24,377 --> 00:12:25,879
with my mom and Malvo.
339
00:12:25,913 --> 00:12:27,080
Why don't you come with us?
340
00:12:27,114 --> 00:12:28,949
I don't think she'll let me.
341
00:12:28,982 --> 00:12:29,983
Why not?
342
00:12:30,017 --> 00:12:31,084
You know why.
343
00:12:31,118 --> 00:12:33,153
Well, you can at least ask.
344
00:12:33,186 --> 00:12:38,358
Ma! Can I go to Times Square
with Tasha, Peaches and Malvo?
345
00:12:38,391 --> 00:12:40,460
ROCHELLE:
Hell, no!
346
00:12:42,362 --> 00:12:44,832
(humming)
347
00:12:47,367 --> 00:12:49,069
(pounding on door)
348
00:12:49,102 --> 00:12:50,804
While my mother got
ready for New Years,
349
00:12:50,838 --> 00:12:51,939
Peaches got ready to rumble.
350
00:12:51,972 --> 00:12:54,875
How come you won't let Chris
go to Times Square with me?
351
00:12:54,908 --> 00:12:56,509
Well, hello, Peaches.
352
00:12:56,543 --> 00:12:59,412
You know what, Rochelle?
If we are gonna be friends,
353
00:12:59,446 --> 00:13:02,082
at some point you are gonna
have to learn how to trust me.
354
00:13:02,115 --> 00:13:04,918
Mmm... Now, I'll trust you
with some clothes,
355
00:13:04,952 --> 00:13:07,054
but trusting you with my
children, that's another thing.
356
00:13:07,087 --> 00:13:08,588
Not to Britney Spears.
357
00:13:08,621 --> 00:13:10,190
Oh! Huh.
358
00:13:10,223 --> 00:13:12,025
And why is that?
359
00:13:12,059 --> 00:13:13,226
You know why.
360
00:13:13,260 --> 00:13:14,261
No, no, no, no.
Say it. Say it.
361
00:13:14,294 --> 00:13:16,997
No, no, no. Say it.
I want to hear you say it.
362
00:13:17,030 --> 00:13:19,432
Um... you're an ex-convict.
363
00:13:19,466 --> 00:13:20,968
Oh, my God, she said it.
364
00:13:21,001 --> 00:13:23,503
She said it.
365
00:13:23,536 --> 00:13:25,438
Rochelle,
what you think I'ma do?
366
00:13:26,506 --> 00:13:28,108
I got it!
367
00:13:28,141 --> 00:13:29,877
Drive the car, Chris.
Drive the car! Drive the car!
368
00:13:29,910 --> 00:13:32,045
(tires squealing)
Drive the car!
369
00:13:32,079 --> 00:13:34,982
Peaches, I don't have
to give you a reason.
370
00:13:35,015 --> 00:13:36,516
Rochelle, you know what?
371
00:13:36,549 --> 00:13:39,186
My parole officer said I am
proof that the system works.
372
00:13:39,219 --> 00:13:41,088
I am a new me.
373
00:13:41,121 --> 00:13:42,522
I have learned
from my mistakes.
374
00:13:42,555 --> 00:13:44,524
I have paid my debt to society.
375
00:13:44,557 --> 00:13:46,593
And you want to open a new
line of credit with my child.
376
00:13:46,626 --> 00:13:49,129
Well, if not yours,
then whose? Mine?
377
00:13:49,162 --> 00:13:51,431
She got to go with me.
378
00:13:51,464 --> 00:13:53,166
Now, how am I supposed to feel
379
00:13:53,200 --> 00:13:55,168
improved and empowered by that?
380
00:13:55,202 --> 00:13:57,070
Peaches, this is not about you.
381
00:13:57,104 --> 00:14:00,140
Yes, it is. You not not letting
him go with somebody else.
382
00:14:01,408 --> 00:14:03,610
Peaches,
it's dangerous down there.
383
00:14:03,643 --> 00:14:05,312
Rochelle, don't you
think I know that?
384
00:14:05,345 --> 00:14:08,181
That's why I got Malvo coming.
385
00:14:08,215 --> 00:14:11,484
Oh, that's nice--
another ex-convict!
386
00:14:11,518 --> 00:14:13,987
Ex! Ex, Rochelle.
387
00:14:14,021 --> 00:14:15,422
That means "former."
388
00:14:15,455 --> 00:14:16,990
"Used to be."
389
00:14:17,024 --> 00:14:19,092
"Not currently."
390
00:14:19,126 --> 00:14:20,627
And you know what?
391
00:14:20,660 --> 00:14:22,896
This is what's really,
'cause it makes me...
392
00:14:22,930 --> 00:14:25,532
and I'm gonna be
upset about this now.
393
00:14:25,565 --> 00:14:29,569
If you won't let me move on,
then it's only a matter of time
394
00:14:29,602 --> 00:14:31,438
before I become an accomplice
all over again.
395
00:14:31,471 --> 00:14:33,040
Now, do you want that
on your head?
396
00:14:33,073 --> 00:14:34,975
Peaches.
397
00:14:35,008 --> 00:14:38,078
Please, girl. Look, we
gonna follow the rules.
398
00:14:38,111 --> 00:14:40,180
We'll cross at the green
not between.
399
00:14:40,213 --> 00:14:42,049
We won't jump any turnstiles.
400
00:14:42,082 --> 00:14:44,985
Even though that is
a family tradition.
401
00:14:45,018 --> 00:14:47,988
And, listen, Tasha really,
really wants Chris to go.
402
00:14:48,021 --> 00:14:49,289
You know, they'll have fun.
403
00:14:49,322 --> 00:14:51,424
We'll be careful.
I promise.
404
00:14:53,493 --> 00:14:54,594
Fine.
405
00:14:54,627 --> 00:14:55,628
What you say?
406
00:14:55,662 --> 00:14:56,496
Fine.
407
00:14:56,529 --> 00:14:58,531
Okay, girl, I'll see you later.
Chris!
408
00:14:58,565 --> 00:15:01,534
Your mother said
you could go, boy!
409
00:15:02,735 --> 00:15:05,338
Hurry up before
she change her mind!
410
00:15:05,372 --> 00:15:06,639
Bye, girl.
411
00:15:06,673 --> 00:15:08,075
All right, then.
412
00:15:08,108 --> 00:15:10,177
Happy New Year.
413
00:15:16,516 --> 00:15:17,650
Okay, Chris.
414
00:15:17,684 --> 00:15:19,686
Now, with all the
traffic and the people,
415
00:15:19,719 --> 00:15:21,521
you won't get home till
early in the morning,
416
00:15:21,554 --> 00:15:23,156
but you're gonna be
the first male
417
00:15:23,190 --> 00:15:25,058
to walk through the door
for the New Year.
418
00:15:25,092 --> 00:15:26,526
So, here's $20.
419
00:15:26,559 --> 00:15:27,660
Keep it in your wallet.
420
00:15:27,694 --> 00:15:29,396
That's to bring us
luck and good fortune
421
00:15:29,429 --> 00:15:30,597
for the rest of the year.
422
00:15:30,630 --> 00:15:31,631
You got it.
423
00:15:31,664 --> 00:15:33,166
Okay. Oh, I love you, baby.
424
00:15:33,200 --> 00:15:35,502
(loud smooching)
Mmm.
425
00:15:35,535 --> 00:15:37,504
Be safe.
426
00:15:37,537 --> 00:15:39,006
Be careful.
427
00:15:42,109 --> 00:15:44,344
(people cheering, music playing)
428
00:15:46,746 --> 00:15:49,049
Even though my resolution
was coming to pass,
429
00:15:49,082 --> 00:15:51,151
it didn't matter
when it came to the cops.
430
00:15:51,184 --> 00:15:52,219
Whoa, whoa, whoa...
431
00:15:52,252 --> 00:15:55,055
I'm sorry, folks,
we're at capacity. All right?
432
00:15:55,088 --> 00:15:56,990
We got over two million
people in there now.
433
00:15:57,024 --> 00:15:58,591
Capacity?
It's Times Square.
434
00:16:01,728 --> 00:16:03,663
Well, what difference is
four more people gonna make?
435
00:16:03,696 --> 00:16:05,132
We came all the way
from Bed-Stuy.
436
00:16:05,165 --> 00:16:06,266
Well, you should've
came earlier.
437
00:16:06,299 --> 00:16:07,500
Now step back.
438
00:16:07,534 --> 00:16:09,302
Oh. Ah!
No, no, no, no, baby.
439
00:16:09,336 --> 00:16:10,737
No, no, no.
If I wasn't on parole,
440
00:16:10,770 --> 00:16:12,505
I swear.
Where's my...
441
00:16:12,539 --> 00:16:14,074
What are we
gonna do now?
442
00:16:14,107 --> 00:16:15,508
Maybe we should find
a bar or something
443
00:16:15,542 --> 00:16:16,676
and watch it on TV.
Nah!
444
00:16:16,709 --> 00:16:18,611
Nah, we seeing
this ball drop.
445
00:16:18,645 --> 00:16:20,547
I know what to do.
446
00:16:20,580 --> 00:16:22,649
I'll be right back.
447
00:16:22,682 --> 00:16:25,552
Come on, come on,
come over here.
448
00:16:25,585 --> 00:16:27,054
(gunshot, Peaches shrieking)
449
00:16:27,087 --> 00:16:28,488
They're shooting!
They're shooting!
450
00:16:28,521 --> 00:16:29,622
Officer! Officer!
(gunshot)
451
00:16:29,656 --> 00:16:31,024
White man with a gun!
452
00:16:31,058 --> 00:16:32,192
It looked like Chevy Chase!
He's over there!
453
00:16:32,225 --> 00:16:33,293
He's over there?
454
00:16:33,326 --> 00:16:35,262
He's over there! He's...
455
00:16:35,295 --> 00:16:37,230
Come on, y'all, let's go.
456
00:16:37,264 --> 00:16:38,665
Who's shooting?
457
00:16:38,698 --> 00:16:40,067
PEACHES:
Ain't nobody shooting, boy.
Come on.
458
00:16:40,100 --> 00:16:41,068
CHRIS:
I heard some gunshots!
459
00:16:41,101 --> 00:16:42,635
MALVO:
Come on, baby, yeah.
460
00:16:42,669 --> 00:16:44,671
While we were trying
to get into Times Square,
461
00:16:44,704 --> 00:16:46,606
my dad was trying
to get through traffic.
462
00:16:46,639 --> 00:16:47,740
Come on, people!
463
00:16:47,774 --> 00:16:49,309
(horn honking)
464
00:16:49,342 --> 00:16:51,578
My father had
the key to the city,
465
00:16:51,611 --> 00:16:53,780
but it couldn't open gridlock.
466
00:16:53,813 --> 00:16:57,384
Back home, Tonya was awake
and Drew had glue on his face.
467
00:16:57,417 --> 00:16:59,586
Girl, would you stop all that
hopping up and help me
468
00:16:59,619 --> 00:17:01,288
put these bags in the window?
469
00:17:01,321 --> 00:17:03,356
Do you think Daddy's gonna
make it home before midnight?
470
00:17:03,390 --> 00:17:04,624
I hope so.
471
00:17:04,657 --> 00:17:06,059
(music playing on TV)
472
00:17:06,093 --> 00:17:07,760
* You found out
473
00:17:07,794 --> 00:17:10,063
TONYA:
* I've got a crush on you...
474
00:17:10,097 --> 00:17:12,665
While Tonya's heart
was beating a mile a minute,
475
00:17:12,699 --> 00:17:15,302
my dad was driving
at the same rate of speed.
476
00:17:15,335 --> 00:17:18,538
MAN (over radio):
That was "I've Got a Crush
on You" by The Jets,"
477
00:17:18,571 --> 00:17:20,140
helping to bring in
the new year,
478
00:17:20,173 --> 00:17:21,308
(horn honks)
479
00:17:21,341 --> 00:17:23,276
Get outta the way!
480
00:17:23,310 --> 00:17:27,314
(noisemakers tooting)
481
00:17:27,347 --> 00:17:28,415
I never really
believed in things
482
00:17:28,448 --> 00:17:30,383
like New Year's resolutions,
483
00:17:30,417 --> 00:17:32,252
but for the first time
in my life,
484
00:17:32,285 --> 00:17:35,322
I remember thinking
that dreams can come true.
485
00:17:35,355 --> 00:17:39,126
(on TV):
Once again, it's New Year's Eve
in Times Square.
486
00:17:39,159 --> 00:17:41,328
Happy New Year from all of us.
487
00:17:41,361 --> 00:17:43,363
CROWD:
Ten!
488
00:17:44,364 --> 00:17:46,433
Nine!
489
00:17:46,466 --> 00:17:47,667
Eight!
490
00:17:47,700 --> 00:17:48,835
(Tonya laughing)
491
00:17:48,868 --> 00:17:50,137
Seven!
492
00:17:51,338 --> 00:17:53,206
Six!
493
00:17:53,240 --> 00:17:54,607
Five!
494
00:17:55,908 --> 00:17:58,778
Four!
495
00:17:58,811 --> 00:18:01,348
Three!
496
00:18:01,381 --> 00:18:04,217
Two!
497
00:18:04,251 --> 00:18:06,186
One!
498
00:18:06,219 --> 00:18:10,490
Happy New Year!
499
00:18:10,523 --> 00:18:12,159
(fusillade of gunfire,
glass shattering)
500
00:18:12,192 --> 00:18:14,194
(noisemakers tooting)
501
00:18:15,595 --> 00:18:17,330
(cheering, noisemakers tooting)
502
00:18:17,364 --> 00:18:19,366
(gunfire continues)
Happy New Year, baby!
503
00:18:19,399 --> 00:18:21,401
Happy New Year!
504
00:18:21,434 --> 00:18:22,735
(cheering)
505
00:18:22,769 --> 00:18:26,473
* Should old acquaintance
be forgot *
506
00:18:26,506 --> 00:18:28,775
* And never brought to mind...
507
00:18:28,808 --> 00:18:30,643
Kissing Tasha on New Year's Eve
was amazing.
508
00:18:30,677 --> 00:18:31,844
My only fear was that
509
00:18:31,878 --> 00:18:34,481
I was gonna turn
into a pumpkin at midnight.
510
00:18:34,514 --> 00:18:37,850
* In days of auld lang syne
511
00:18:37,884 --> 00:18:41,821
* For auld lang syne, my dear
512
00:18:41,854 --> 00:18:45,725
* For auld lang syne
513
00:18:45,758 --> 00:18:49,429
* We'll take a cup
of kindness yet *
514
00:18:49,462 --> 00:18:53,266
* For the sake
of auld lang syne. *
515
00:18:57,937 --> 00:19:00,340
Chris. So, how did it go?
516
00:19:00,373 --> 00:19:02,309
Great. It was the best
night of my life.
517
00:19:02,342 --> 00:19:04,544
Did you have
any problems?
No.
518
00:19:04,577 --> 00:19:06,379
Did anybody get arrested?
No.
519
00:19:06,413 --> 00:19:08,215
Detained?
No.
520
00:19:08,248 --> 00:19:09,949
Searched?
No.
521
00:19:09,982 --> 00:19:11,384
Questioned?
522
00:19:11,418 --> 00:19:12,852
No. It was perfect.
523
00:19:12,885 --> 00:19:14,754
Damn. I forgot the
first guy in the house
524
00:19:14,787 --> 00:19:16,289
supposed to have
money in his pocket.
525
00:19:16,323 --> 00:19:18,558
No, no, no, no, baby,
I already took care of that.
526
00:19:18,591 --> 00:19:21,328
I made sure you were in
the house before midnight,
527
00:19:21,361 --> 00:19:22,962
and before Chris left,
I gave him $20
528
00:19:22,995 --> 00:19:24,897
to ensure that we would
have luck and good fortune
529
00:19:24,931 --> 00:19:26,098
for the rest of the year.
530
00:19:26,132 --> 00:19:28,435
Just in case the black-eyed
peas don't work.
531
00:19:28,468 --> 00:19:31,638
So now, if you will kindly
give me my $20 back
532
00:19:31,671 --> 00:19:34,707
so we can get
this year started.
533
00:19:38,911 --> 00:19:41,314
Boy, don't play with me.
Give me my money.
534
00:19:42,815 --> 00:19:44,251
Hey, y'all.
Sorry to bother you.
535
00:19:44,284 --> 00:19:45,218
I let myself in.
536
00:19:45,252 --> 00:19:46,986
Peaches needed me to
come through the door
537
00:19:47,019 --> 00:19:48,821
with some money in my
pocket since I was gonna
538
00:19:48,855 --> 00:19:50,423
be the first man
through the door
539
00:19:50,457 --> 00:19:53,326
after midnight,
so I pickpocketed Chris.
540
00:19:53,360 --> 00:19:55,662
Anyway, I just wanted
541
00:19:55,695 --> 00:19:57,597
to give you back...
your wallet.
542
00:19:59,031 --> 00:20:00,500
Happy New Year!
543
00:20:00,533 --> 00:20:01,468
(noisemaker blares)
544
00:20:07,340 --> 00:20:09,276
He was supposed to have
that money in his pocket.
545
00:20:09,309 --> 00:20:11,644
And now we're gonna
have bad luck
546
00:20:11,678 --> 00:20:12,945
for the rest of the year.
547
00:20:14,981 --> 00:20:16,816
Great.
548
00:20:16,849 --> 00:20:19,319
Happy New Year!
549
00:20:20,953 --> 00:20:22,622
* Everybody hates Chris.
550
00:20:22,655 --> 00:20:26,726
Captioned by
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