All language subtitles for Getting.Go.The.Go.Doc.Project.2013.1080p.WEBRip.x264.AAC-[YTS.MX]

Mm mm...

Show balls.

Later, guy.

Haven't seen you
on here before.

Can we see your legs?

Not much to see.

Ah, fuck...

Oh, shit. Fuck me...

I'm gonna cum, guys.

Ah!!!

Are you ready
for your five minutes?

I guess by now it's clear
I have a major problem.

I have a serious crush.

And I know I've said that
a million times before on here,

but this time it's different.

This time, it feels...
profound.

If only my rhetorical talents
extended beyond my fingertips,

maybe I could actually talk
to the boy in question,

but, ay, there's the rub.

For in that sleep of death,
what dreams may come,

when we have shuffled off
this mortal coil?

Hamlet.
Senior year, high school.

Oh! He is a stripper,
by the way.

Or dancer,
of the go-go variety.

I actually saw him
again tonight,

flaunting himself down Avenue A.

And if I weren't so drunk,
and such a pussy,

then I would have
stopped him and asked him,

"What is the difference between
a dancer and a stripper?"

Here, let me show you
what all the fuss is about.

Check out that epic ass?

Corn-fed.

I'd bet money on it,
If I had any money.

Here I am recording
this for posterities sake,

because God knows
that my chances of

remembering this
tomorrow morning are nil.

Now you are probably saying,
please no drunk posting.

You've already exposed
yourself to the world.

Isn't that enough for one night?

And to that I say,
No, God dammit.

I am a near college graduate,
so I do as I please.

Goodnight, fuckers.

Now this,
I will definitely regret.

Dear Mr. Go,

You're gonna think
I'm completely insane,

and you might be right.

I am a recent college graduate

interested in the field
of documentary film making.

I've been researching
a theoretical idea

for a documentary on

the New York City
nightlife scene.

I would really love
to meet with you

in my search
for a subject/muse.

Uh...
Muse is too sexual.

Um... Fuck it.

Yours truly, Doc.

First of all...

I should've listened
to you guys/me,

and never drunk-posted.

But seriously,
you need to see what

"Jim from Chelsea" has to say.

Go-go, schmo-go.
Stripper, dripper.

As long as you post
a video of you fucking

said corn-fed ass,
who cares what you call him.

Better yet, invite me along

and I'll slam my grandpa sausage
into both your bums.

Really? Your grandpa sausage?

And that's just one of these.

You guys sure have plenty

that you're willing
to say anonymously.

It's a really supportive,
positive community we have here.

Now let me document
my imminent escape

from this shitty city
that we call New York.

Three weeks from today this will
no longer be my humble abode.

Post-graduate academia
has called me forth

to the wilds of fair Iowa.

Go-go God NYC...

What the fuck?

Sounds fun.
Come by my gig tonight.

I'll put you on the list.

Yours truly, Go.

Oh, my God,
what did I write?

...interested in
documentary film making...

No, I did not!

I'd really love to meet you
in my search for a muse.

Fuck!

Assimilation must be the goal
of the queer community

if true equality
is ever to be won.

At least that's what I plan to
argue in my POLYSCI 323 final.

I'm not a hermit,

as my friends would
probably have you believe.

My problem is obsession.

I am obsessive.

And the internet just
makes it so easy, doesn't it?

Forgot to tell you where.
Address is below.

And my digits
if you need to get me.

Go.

Just fucking do it.

Hi. I think I'm on the list.

There, that's me.

Hey, could I get
a whisky and soda?

Thanks.

Jesus fucking Christ.
Just go talk to the fucker.

Oh, shit. Sorry.

Hmm, I didn't realize...

I didn't realize
you were in here.

It's cool, I'm done.

Nice hat.

Thank you. My mom...

Thank you, thanks.

Further proof
that I am a useless idiot.

And holy shit,
he is way hotter in person.

OK, this was crazy.
Not a good idea at all.

I'm a complete fucking idiot
for ever thinking that it was.

I'm getting out of here,
but for posterity's sake,

let's all agree that
I gave it my best shot?

Thanks.

Waited 4 you bi the bar -

with the number 4
and by spelled bi.

Sorry I missed U -

Followed by a winking
smiley face emoticon.

Oh, shit.

- Doc.
- Go.

- Bathroom crasher?
- Hi.

What's up?

Uh, nothing much.
How are you?

Good.

So... Is that the camera
that you're using?

Oh, my phone?
No I'll get a real one.

This is just
for prelim research.

So, it's pretty crazy
in there.

Where do you usually hang out?

Besides my bedroom
and lecture halls, nowhere.

Well, there's a dive bar
that my friends and I

go to sometimes
to get hammered...

$2 cans 'til 10.

That's sounds pretty awesome.

I guess you'd think
after four years in the city,

I would've been
to a gay bar, but...

- Oh, are you straight?
- No, not straight.

Just not "GAY," you know,
I don't really know the scene.

What's that thing?

It's like a stand, so I can
get us both in the shot.

Could you just
back up a little bit?

Yeah, like to, where that
piece of trash is.

Yep.

OK, well, hopefully this works.

- So, you're in film school?
- No

I thought you said
you just graduated?

No, I haven't...
I haven't quite graduated yet.

Not for three weeks,
and not film school.

I'm just more into
movies and stuff.

I'm really more of a writer.

- Cool.
- Yeah.

So, uh...
What's this project about?

Uh, well, it's still
in its infancy right now.

I'm kind of just
sussing out the direction

that I want to take it.

I thought you said
it was about go-go dancing?

Yeah, potentially.

I don't know if you want your
image attached to something -

your long-lost family
out in the Midwest

knowing what you do here.

- California.
- OK, California.

I don't know if you want them
knowing what you do here to get by.

So if you can't, then it's...

It's OK...
Count me in.

Um... Wow.

Would you mind just
saying that again?

Yeah, I don't mean to be presumptuous.
But time is, time was, you know?

Sure.

All right, let me
audition for you.

No, it's OK.
You don't have...

I'm not usually a stripper.

I usually start
with my clothes off, but...

No, you, you...

Uh...

- Give me your hand.
- Really, it's OK. Wow, that's great.

I think I have seen enough.

I'd would love to use you
as the subject of my movie.

Yes! I've always wanted
my own personal Andy Warhol.

You mean the soup can guy?

How old are you?

Of course, Pittsburgh.

I went there on a field trip
when I was a kid.

So, when do we start?

I think we just did.

Cute dog, man.

Thank you.

So, is this thing gonna be
in film festivals or what?

Probably not. I think
they go for edgier stuff.

I don't know, it's the age
of overexposure, narcissism.

Everyone's just kind of looking for their...
For their 15 minutes, I get it.

Well, I'm not gonna
be killing myself,

but I think pretty much
everything else is on the table.

Guess what, friends...

I think I just found
my Executive Producer.

All dressed up, and a whole
world of places to go.

All my love, Grandma.

Thanks, Grandma,
for keepin' it old school.

Hey!

Better not fuck it up.

Oh, please. You borrowed
my Nano freshman year;

I haven't seen that thing since.

What are you doing?

Oh, um, I just thought I should
capture this part of my life.

- All right, I get it.
- Thanks.

Don't lose the lens cap, please.

Thanks, and good luck
on your six finals!

Ha, ha, ha. Don't rub it in!

Don't fuck it up. I'm not
going to commencement stag.

Have fun with your porno.

The great work begins.

Hello...

Go? Is that OK?
Can I call you Go?

Go's cool.
Hey, I got a question.

An actor friend of mine
said I should ask

if there's any money
in this for me?

Oh, um...

Uh...

Well, cash is pretty
tight right now,

but, um...

I don't know.
I hadn't really thought of that.

This is kind of more of
an experiment for me.

Well, my friend said,
you know,

what if this thing blows up
and gets, like, really popular

and sells for, like,
a million dollars?

No, yeah,
I know what you mean.

Uh, well, I could...
split any profits... with you?

I could cut you a percentage,

like, maybe three percent
or something.

We could do
a contract and everything.

That doesn't
seem like very much.

Well, it's just, I...
just bought all the supplies

and I'll be doing
all of the producing

and directing and shooting.

I could...
pay for your food...

while we're shooting,
and buy you metro cards

so you don't have
to pay for anything.

OK, yeah, I get it.

Let me talk to my friend
and get back to you, cool?

- Yeah, OK, cool.
- Right, catch ya.

Hola, followers.

I've been waiting
on pins and needles.

Is that the saying?
Pins and needles?

For some reason that sounds
ridiculous to me right now.

Anyways, I've been patiently
awaiting Go's response,

about his decision.

And I just got this text.

What's up, Doc?
Come to the club tonight.

Before one.
Got some news.

Slightly cryptic, but let's see
what Mr. Go has to say.

Hey, what's up?

So, I'm glad you came.

I really wanted to
do this in person.

No problem.

So, I talked with my friend...

If you give me five percent,
I'll do it.

- Dude, that's great!
- Yeah?

- Totally.
- Fuck, that was too easy!

I should've asked for seven.

He's about half an hour late.

So I guess
he's on go-go boy time.

- What's up?
- Go!

- How are you?
- Good.

- Did I scare you?
- Kinda.

- Sorry I'm late.
- It's OK.

You been here a long time?

- Um, no. Just a few minutes.
- All right, good.

- All right.
- All right.

You ready to
think about yourself?

As little as possible.

Sure. Go for it.

Let's start with
a basic and easy one.

Where did your history
with go-go dancing begin?

When I first moved here,
was, like,

four or five years ago,
to New York,

and... I started dancing
at a strip club,

because I wasn't making enough
money at the other jobs I had.

But that only lasted
about two months

because it was, kind of like,
not a super, safe environment.

I just knew, like, all right,
this was a bad place to be,

so I stopped
dancing completely.

And then I got fired from
my other two jobs that I had.

I had a really good job.

I was working as a makeup
artist for, like, two years.

I got fired for, uh...
Well, whatever.

So basically,
I went to this other club

and they kept asking
me to work there,

to dance there.

And I finally was like,
sure, whatever,

I have nothing else going on.

So I did that,
and I just started getting

asked to do other gigs
all over the city.

So, yeah, I was like,
sure, it's fun, it's easy.

I get to hang out with people.

I'm actually kind of anti-social
so it forced me

to come out of my house
and, like, interact with people.

So it was good.

What is the relationship between
a go-go guy and his audience?

Talking to someone
or being genuine with them.

Giving them some sort of
personal expression

from yourself,
a wink or a smile,

or a handshake or a hug,
or a teabag or whatever.

You know what I mean?

I think it
makes people feel good.

Because obviously if they
are putting some of, like,

emotional need towards you
and you respond to that,

that makes them feel like
they've had some sort of...

beneficial interaction.

I think the idea of someone
putting themselves on display

or putting themselves
in a voyeuristic expression

is what turns people on,

not necessarily
the actual person.

Because I've seen ugly
go-go boys make lots of money.

I've seen ugly prostitutes
get awards,

so I don't think it necessarily
has to do with what they look like.

So there are prostitute awards?

Yeah.

And what's your favorite
part of your body?

Uh...

I like my brain.

- You can't say that.
- Why?

I don't really...

I don't really
look at myself like that.

What's your least favorite
part of your body?

Uh...

My penis, it's so small.

- Are you being serious?
- No.

It's really hard to gain weight.

I have to, like,
work really hard to gain weight.

so that's one thing
that I don't like;

my metabolism's really fast.

What if you don't feel like
being pawed at that night?

What do you do to
get yourself in the mood?

Uh, I guess...
just fake it until you feel it.

Ladies and gentlemen,

Welcome to the home

of New York's finest
boy on the box.

Here we go.

What's up?

- Hi.
- Hi, how are you?

You comin'?

Do you, uh,
want some water or anything?

OK.

All right.
Let's get you some water.

- Here you go.
- Thanks.

It's hot today, right?
Cheers.

Yeah, it's hot.

Do you like it
when it's hot outside?

Yeah, it's whatever.

It's a good excuse
not wear any underwear, right?

Yeah, I guess.

You want to see
the rest of the place?

Yeah, yeah, of course.

I need to see
your natural habitat, don't I?

So this is...
Santi's room.

He takes pictures.
He's really good.

This is a figurine that
I pulled out of his anus once,

'cause he sat on it,
and it got stuck.

- Oh.
- I'm totally kidding.

Sometimes when I think
things are funny, I don't laugh,

so don't like, be offended.

I won't. I'll just keep
making sex jokes,

so I hope you're OK with that.

This is the eating
and hang out area.

And more random stuff.

What's that?

That's for tattooing.
This is alcohol and green soap.

And this is my bedroom.

Oh, wow.

Are these your paintings?

Yeah, I did all of these ones.

Is this you here?

That's a self-portrait, yeah.

You don't really
look like that though.

If you take LSD,
I'll look like that.

- I mean it's nice, but...
- Thanks.

Apparently, I'm making a movie

about a painter,
who likes to dance.

I do both.
I'm extremely versatile.

- And, so...
- So, this is your room.

- This is my room.
- And your Elvis.

I'm a huge Elvis fan.

So you sleep with him
every night.

This is awkward. I've never had
someone film me eat something before.

It's nothing to be ashamed of.
Actually it is.

I mean, I guess
if you're eating pussy.

And?

Probably better than pussy.

My friend was telling me
about class systems for, like,

different kinds of gays.

Like, gold star gays.

If you've had sex with a girl

that means you're not
a gold star gay;

that means
you're a bronze gay.

What's your medal?

I'm not sayin'.

- Really?
- Yeah.

Do you have a favorite part
of your body?

Did I already ask you that?

I said my brain.
You said I can't say that.

Oh, right, you can't.

Do you want
to change your answer?

Um...

You can have a favorite part
of your body.

- That's perfectly OK.
- I like my tattoo.

It's a snake.

It's supposed
to be your kundalini,

in a non,
very traditional way.

It rises up through your belly,
up to your head.

These are these microscopic
organisms from the ocean,

by this scientific artist,
named Ernest Haeckel.

They're just really beautiful.

And they look like floral,
but they are not flowers.

So I got those because I
thought they were really pretty,

and kind of vaginal.

They look like sex organs.
You know what I mean?

So I liked that...
Because they're pretty.

And then I have a fly,
because I'm the shit.

Really?

No...

I just thought
it looked really trashy,

and I was attracted to that.

Do you think that there is
a part of your physical body

that people
are attracted to most?

Um... I think people
like personality.

Like... people that
interact with them.

And as a performer, you think
that's what they respond to?

Well, I mean,
which would you rather watch?

A baboon presenting
its anus all blown up and red,

or would you rather
watch a baboon

randomly eating, like,
salad in a corner?

Like, obviously you are gonna
watch the sexual presentation

above the mundane one.

Not that I present my ass...

so literally,
but you know what I mean.

So can you maybe
walk me through

how you decide
what to wear every night?

Well, I guess it depends on
what party I'm going to,

or what kind of event it is.

And whether or not
I'm going to be

flashing anyone my balls
or tea bagging.

So I guess that changes

what type of underwear
you're wearing?

Yeah, 'cause some
you can just, like,

zip open
and your balls fall out.

Others are just assless.

Can you show me
some of the options?

I really like
this guy right here.

He, like, shows off
my nuts really good.

And I like this one because
it's like barely anything there.

Sometimes I wear this guy
if it's, like, a pothead party.

Have you ever been dancing
and really uncomfortable

in what you're wearing
and it fucks up your vibe?

Yeah, I made this, like,
jockstrap out of Mylar once.

And it was, like,
shiny and, like, silver

and it was, like, scratching
the shit out of my legs.

So that was
really uncomfortable.

Do you have
a favorite or lucky pair?

Well, these ones always
make me look like I'm naked,

so that's pretty good.

So tonight I think I'm going
to wear this little gold number

just 'cause I'm feeling
a little extra flirty.

Lets everyone know
I've never slept with a woman.

Right. Gold...

Gold star gay.

Gold star gay, right.
I'm learning.

- That could work with the gold.
- Oh, yeah, totally.

- Did you make that?
- I did make that, yeah.

- So that's it.
- That's it.

All right, I think
I'm gonna go shower.

- I'm sorry.
- You can keep filming.

You sure?

Whatever helps you get
your rocks off, dude.

OK.

I mean, I'm naked in front
of people for money all the time

so if one person films me,

I'm not really
that concerned about it.

All right,
I'm gonna go shower.

You want to come?

What's up?

What's up?

- So, uh, hi, what's up?
- What's up?

Do you shave or trim
before you go out?

I, uh, use a buzzer.

Buzz my chest
and stuff like that.

Do you think some guys
like you to be hairy,

and some guys
like you to be soft?

I think for the most part
people just want to make sure

you have a big ass
or a big dick, or both, right?

I guess so, but they can't
even see your dick.

Oh, I might show it
to them anyway.

Oh...

OK.

I feel like gay guys
like really hairless guys.

Some gay guys do,
like in Idaho or Ohio.

So Midwestern guys
like less hair,

but guys in New York
like furry...

I feel like people
that tan like less hair

than like big furry bears
that are all white.

Look at you,
full of wisdom.

Is there a way that
you prefer your body hair?

Well, I guess it's not
really up to me,

because I'm not the one
with the cash and the fantasy.

So what else
do you do, to get ready?

I basically just make sure

that I'm clean
and decent enough to touch.

So, what's your perspective
on this thing anyway?

I don't know.

Just you so far.

Aren't you supposed
to have like, an idea,

or some sort of, like, thesis
or something like that?

Well, I figured I'd just try
to find a story in your story.

I was just gonna
go with the flow.

That's cool.
I'm down with that.

I guess it's too late now
to turn back, right?

Yeah.

Ready, Doc?

Hey, guys, this is Doc.

He's making a movie
about me so be nice, OK?

What's up?

Great ass, by the way.

Whoa, buddy.

What really is in
a Crush Me slushy anyway?

OK, I'm all done.

Was that too quick?

Do you remember the first time
a man flirted with you?

Yes, I was three.

I was a very flirtatious child
so I would flirt with

lots of different kinds
of people,

like, women and men.

I was never, like,
scared or nervous about flirting

or anything like that.

I used to shove my hands down,
like, women's tops

when I was, like, three,
in church.

What are you attracted to?
Like, what's your type of guy?

I like people that
communicate effectively.

That's a really big deal for me.

No, I mean physical.

Oh, it's like,
all over the board.

I like everything.

What the fuck is all that?

Don't tell my trainer.

Oh, God.

Have you ever had a boyfriend
that works at the club?

Uh... no.

Why not?

I don't know. I don't really trust
other people that work in nightlife.

But you expect them
to trust you?

I guess so.

It's a little bit
of a double standard, huh?

Is this... pretty typical?
Dinner time at 4 am?

Oh, yeah, for sure.

There's no way you could
eat like this every night.

Yeah, why not?

I gained five pounds
just looking at food this late.

Well, you gotta eat to live.

Says the Adonis,
as he ingests 2000 calories at 4 am.

Thanks.

Take off your clothes.

No. Shut up.

Start with your shirt.
Come on.

No, I'm not going to
take my shirt off.

Uh... no.

Your turn.

You're shirtless for a living.

I'm shirtless for showering,
and doctors appointments.

Stop!

Come on, take it off.

Take off your shirt.

Come on.

Fine.

See, that wasn't so hard.

Yes, it was.

So, you're like a middle-aged
lady in bed? Lights out first?

I don't know...

I guess.

Yeah, the last time,
if I remember correctly,

the lights were off.

You really had
to think about that.

- It was a long time ago.
- How long?

I don't know. A while.

How long is a while?

Eight months, maybe a year.

What?
Are you fucking kidding me?

I don't know, I'm content
with my online sex life.

It's fast, easy...
clean.

I always assumed
I'd just wait 'til marriage.

Well, that's kind
of sweet, I guess.

Yeah.

And I've been flirted
with precisely three times.

That you know of.

You're not exactly
perceptive about that stuff.

Guys are not interested.

Damn, boy.
That ass must be so tight.

Wait a minute...
You're a virgin?

I mean, no.
I've had tons of oral sex.

Especially in high school,

and especially in my
senior year of high school.

I mean, unless you're
counting fingers,

because I have
topped and bottomed digitally,

with varying degrees of success.

- Oh, my God.
- It's not funny.

You're fucking adorable.

No, I'm just scared.

Scared of what?

Um...

Disease, pain, nudity,
commitment, poop.

OK, I think that's enough.

Truth or dare?

No, I think I'm OK with my...

electronic representations
of you.

Come on, even Andy
slept with his subjects.

But our sex life
is perfectly healthy already.

Then we'll make love.

Hey.

You're adorable.

You're adorable...

You're adorable.

You want to shower first?

- No, I like you dirty.
- OK.

You're a virgin?

Can I?

Give me that camera.

I don't know
if I want to film this.

You wanted to see
where your movie went...

Well, here it is.
It's in my bed.

So what are you gonna do?

You are really beautiful.

Thank you.

Put it on me.

Slow, slow.

- Sorry.
- It's fine.

Just keep it there
for a minute.

Oh, my God.

Oh...

Ah...

Fuck.

When did you
lose your virginity?

When I was 15.

Can you tell me about it?

It was a friend, he was 17,

and it was, like, on the night
of my 15th birthday.

And... I was, like,
really horny.

I had seen a few porns
and I was, like,

'All right,
I'm ready to do this.'

I mean,
it wasn't super great.

It was really awkward,
and I was drunk.

And then the next day
were you excited?

Um, I was just,
like, whatever.

Like, I got that done,
out of the way.

How many people
have you had sex with?

I don't know.

I tried to write a list before
and, like, lost count.

I'm sure its not that many,
but I mean, I don't know.

I'm not gonna be, like,
oh, I'm so proud -

I've only had sex with five people,
because I haven't.

And I'm not going to be, like,
I'm so proud -

I've had sex with 500 people,
because I haven't.

Do you think that people
that watch you dance

want to... fuck you?

Some of them, I'm sure.

Have you ever
thought about that?

- No.
- Really?

Have you ever had cyber-sex?

Whatever you're thinking,
I've probably done it.

Do you think that
people use you as part

of their personal sex life
via the internet?

Yeah, people have told me

that they've jerked off
to pictures of mine.

And I say, thanks, it's sweet.

What am I supposed to do -
jerk them off?

Oh, thanks.
That's awesome!

- What's up?
- I don't know.

- Should we turn the camera off?
- I guess so.

I just thought of
a really cool painting.

- Don't forget it.
- I won't.

You're money's over there.

Well it seems odd to interview
myself for my own film.

But apparently,
I am to make a cameo.

I'm not altogether
happy about that fact.

But... here we are.

I... honestly,
kind of feel dirty.

Not in a good way.

Maybe if Go's arms
were to be my forever home.

But they're not.

So, here I am...
an amateur porn performer.

Was it good for you?

You know, you really
need to get laid more.

I know.

If for nothing else,
then for the cause.

Yeah? What's 'the cause?'

Well, every time we fuck
it's, like...

a political statement,
you know?

The mere act of us
penetrating each other,

is, like,
an exercise in freedom.

And I don't know about you,

but I like to exercise
my freedom as much as possible.

I didn't know you
were so patriotic.

The American flag on the
door didn't give it away?

You can't walk into
a gay bar, an event,

or even a neighborhood
without seeing a guy

dancing on a table
in his underwear, or less.

You don't realize how
fucked up people think that is?

That we're unwilling to be
bound by their puritanical roots?

But why does everything
have to be about sex?

Because that's what they've
reduced us to for centuries.

Just fucking.

So we defy them by being
exactly what they expect?

No. We defy them
by owning their judgment.

You want us to keep
losing our identity?

No, but I think it might be
helpful if we lost some of it.

No.

I don't want our uniqueness
to keep disappearing

into this void of political
correctness and pop culture.

I have to apologize
to my 37 followers...

well, 39 now, actually...
for neglecting you.

My obsession has
grown... into longing.

It's like I want
to take care of him.

I don't want him
to make a living

from the dollars
of gropers anymore.

I don't want him to seen
as an object by anyone but me.

I just want to rip
that hat off his head,

so the world can see
his eyes and not his ass.

I'm really confused.

I don't want you to hide.

I want you to be free.

This is, of course,
coming from a fucked up,

almost college graduate who has
basically nothing to offer you.

This is irrational.

Maybe we should
just get married.

Maybe we should just
run away from the city together.

You don't want to be
here any more than I do.

So, we'll go to Iowa and you
can tattoo people, or pigs,

or whatever you do and paint
and make clothes and I'll write.

I'll be a writer.

I love him.

And it's not like
that romantic kind of,

I need to spend the rest
of my life with this person,

kind of love.

Because I've never felt that...

I don't think I have.

I don't know
if he's ever gotten

the love that he deserves.

And if no one's
willing to step up,

then I feel the responsibility
to take the job.

I know I'm being naive.

I'm sure I'm the millionth fag
to think I can make a difference.

But you know, none of them did it,
and maybe I will.

People can change.

I know that, at least,
from my experiences.

And then, Jesus,
there's that ass!

It's like an ass
from another planet.

And I know I'm not the first
visitor to planet go-go ass.

I may not be number 100,
but maybe I can be the last?

When was the last
time you were in love?

Not too long ago.

Dot, dot, dot.

Do you believe
in commitment and monogamy?

Monogamy is a rare thing,

and I think commitment
is an even rarer thing.

It's hard to maintain
that kind of

intimacy with people...
I think.

But I think it's possible.

Relationships are hard because

sometimes it becomes
painfully obvious

that you guys are in
two different emotional states

and that they don't align.

I definitely had
a situation like that.

So, tell me about it.

I don't want to.

Maybe if we stepped down
off the go-go box,

and started being
a little bit more normal.

So...

Stalking a go-go boy is normal,
but being one isn't?

I'm just saying that
there's nothing more unique

about being gay than
there is about being straight.

It's narcissistic to think so.

Normal is just something

that a bunch of people
pretend that they are.

Statistically, no;
there is a normal.

But I get it.
It's natural to rebel.

Personally, I think it takes
more courage to be average,

to be boring,
and just try and assimilate.

I think it's more threatening to
the statistically normal person

to... act like they do.

Anyone can look at a homo,

like, a really 'out there,
acting as uniquely

as he possibly can'
kind of homo...

and feel like they
don't understand that

and they don't need
to understand that.

And they never will.

But if we all acted and talked
and thought the same way,

think of the minds
that we would fuck.

You've heard of Hitler, right?

Come on.

I'm not saying we should all
be pale blondes with blue eyes.

No, just office drones
with khaki pants and polos.

You don't want to be normal.
You want to be an artist.

Being an artist
is so overrated though.

Everyone's an artist.
Or at least they think they are.

I think most people now believe

that the only thing separating
them from fame and fortune,

is the finish line
of a reality show.

I don't know why my voice

is any more unique
than any of theirs.

Let's go to sleep.

It's, like, that fame is the
new American birthright.

We do anything for it,

and yet we feel cheated
somehow if we don't get it.

What's your thesis again?

The goal of the queer community
must be assimilation

if true equality
is ever to be won.

Ow.

That's fucked up.

You know, Warhol's whole
point of view was assimilation,

a bunch of nearly
identical soup cans.

No, it wasn't.

Warhol's point was about
the mundane life of the 50's,

and it was a pretty radical
statement at the time.

No.
He wanted to be famous.

He wanted us
to lose the parts of ourselves

that made us less than ideal,
and he led by example.

I don't want to be different...

I don't want to be unique.

I just want to be
like everybody else.

As soon as you stick your
thick prick up someone's butt,

you lose that luxury.

Look, your essay
is totally fucking colonial,

but your writing is really good.

Should I burn it and start over?

You should brush your teeth.

Yeah, why not.

I don't want people
to see me doing my hair.

Put the video down.
I'll show you.

Look, watch...
You're gonna try and film it.

Hey!

I have to go get it filled in.
I'm gonna go to Puerto Rico.

I can't believe
you're recording that.

Ladies and gentlemen...

Welcome to the stoop

of New York's finest
boy on a box.

Except this time,
I have my cap and gown.

This is fucked up.

This is fucked up.

Fuck!

What?

Do you need cash?
'Cause I can just give you cash.

I didn't think that five percent
would get my exclusivity, but...

No, I'm not
fucking coming back.

There's no way.

It's your job to make people
think you like them.

You're not a job.
I mean it. You're different.

Clearly.

Do you know that before I met you,
I was saving myself?

For the right guy.

Doc, I'm sorry.

I can't believe I gave
it up to a fucking stripper.

I feel like a fucking idiot.

Fuck you!
You wanted drama.

I wanted drama
for the movie. Not for my life.

That's not true.

You don't think I didn't know this
whole thing was shit from the beginning?

You didn't even have a camera,

let alone a fucking clue
about what you were doing.

Obviously you were using this
as a way to get close to me -

and guess what, it worked.

Well, maybe I didn't
know another way to do it.

Why do we
have to be so serious?

Because this is serious...

To me.

Come on, Doc.

I have to go
to the boy's room.

Doc...

Please don't.

- Look...
- This is embarrassing enough.

I'm sorry.

I really am.

Hold on,
I have an idea.

No, not now.

I want you to film this.

Your friendship
means a lot more to me

than five percent of anything.

So...

Come here.

I totally get it
if you have to walk away.

You're gonna shoot me now?

Who is the first guy
that flirted with you?

I don't know. I think touching
came before flirting.

It was at summer camp.

Where did he touch you?

He touched me, like,
on my leg and then on my dick.

- Did you like it?
- Yeah.

How old were you?

Thirteen.

I remember
going to sleep that night

thinking that I had
committed a crime -

like, that I had
murdered somebody.

- Oh, really?
- I felt such immense guilt.

Where do you think
that guilt came from?

It's so funny
that people smile

when they are
not happy sometimes.

I just smiled so big,
but I'm not happy;

I'm just embarrassed
and kind of, like,

don't want to tell you
what I'm thinking.

So now you have
to tell me, you know that.

Um...

I think that I have a lot
of guilt built up over the years

from being a kid who always felt
like he had something to hide.

This sense of being found out

or this worry that you
grow up with as a gay kid.

I guess it keeps me inhibited.

What do you find most
attractive about a guy?

I like people
that don't give a fuck.

I don't think I could really
be with anyone like that, but...

Greetings, followers.

Welcome to five minutes
of my world.

As I'm sure you guessed,

today was supposed
to be different.

This cap and gown
was not my fantasy.

I'm not supposed
to be alone wearing it,

but time is, time was, right?

So, take it in.

This is your
last fleeting moment.

This one's for Go...

and then it all goes.

Take the robe off?

No way...

It's symbolic.

You about done
with my camera?

Almost.

To my son.

Congratulations!

Today is the day that
I vow to stop obsessing...

Over any thing, or anyone.

No more cyber-stalking.

I've even killed
my Facebook and my blog.

I want to do
and say and think and be

and eat
and sleep with and kiss,

anything or anyone
that I want to.

And I won't need
a half a bottle of bourbon

or any number of pink,
gay slushy drinks to...

Sorry, I'm...

OK, where was I?

Um...

I'm just gonna be myself.

That's the bottom line,
I guess.

Starting with Go.

You seem nervous.

I have another phone
if you need an angle.

I'm fine, thanks.

Go...

My subject.
My muse.

My obsession...

My friend.

My first.

This is the first time I've ever
been this close to a guy.

And the truth is,
it feels really good -

the proximity,
emotionally and physically.

From up close,
in the light of day,

I can see that
you're not perfect.

You have blackheads.

You have ear hair.

You have a mole

on your stunning
pectorals major muscle.

Your hairline is very slowly,
but surely, receding.

One day your
physical beauty is gonna fade

and you'll be left
with what's underneath.

A little bit of narcissism,
a lot of neediness.

This isn't fair.
Why do you get to judge me?

Just let me finish, please.

I just want to say a few things
to get them off my chest,

because I've been
saying them over and over

to myself in my apartment
and I feel like you're the

only person that I really want
to know these things, so...

I don't really like Madonna.

I don't want
to have to worry about

the pattern of my chest hair.

I don't want to have to worry
about the size of my calves.

I'm not a twink, or a bear,
or a cub or an otter.

I'm not fat or fem
or a power bottom. I'm just me.

You know I'm more
than all those things.

I know,
and I love you for it.

I don't mean to belittle you,
or any other homosexual

that likes vodka sodas
with a splash of cranberry

because they're
only 109 calories -

if you don't
count the cranberry,

'cause it's only
a splash, right?

I just have never felt
like part of their community.

OK, this is it,
The end.

- What?
- This is the final shot.

I thought you don't
leave 'til Friday.

Yeah, but I have a life.

I have other things
I need to take care of.

I know that, but I'm around.

I can help you do
whatever you need.

It's OK, I got it.
Thank you.

Don't you want
one last summer in New York?

I have to be out
of my apartment by Friday.

You could crash here with me.

Fuck, Doc.

I don't want it
to end like this.

Can you turn
the fucking camera off?

Can you just turn it off?

Why are you doing this?

I had to say thank you

for showing me
a new side of myself

that really I had never known,

and for bringing me
out of my shadows.

And I also wanted
to apologize for all the...

I don't know...
See, I'm not good at this.

I'm not a people person.

This is exactly
why I've never...

I am a social misfit.

- No.
- Yeah, I am.

It's OK, at least I'll always
know there's one person

in my tribe
that thinks I belong.

I'm sorry I hurt you, Doc.
I didn't mean to.

It wasn't intentional...

And I didn't bring you
out of any shadows.

You did that all on your own.

I was just some piece of ass
on a computer screen

that lured you out.

This was real.

We're both just fighting
for the same thing.

I don't know why you're talking
like you never want to see me again.

- Because we shouldn't fuck it up for each other.
- And we haven't, and we won't.

I have to go.

Come on, Doc.

Fake it 'til you feel it.

I think you need
to rewrite your paper.

Yeah, what's my new thesis?

That the goal of
assimilation within the

LGBTQIA-LMNOP
community in the United States

has castrated queer culture
and in effect, culture at large

by denying humanity's
radical need for diversity.

That's actually pretty good.

You have a pen and paper?

You have it on video.

Iowa, really?

That's not very Warhola of you -
going from somewhere to nowhere.

Maybe I'm destined
to live a boring, normal life.

There has to be
some kind of defiance in that.

Baby steps.

- Can I ask you something?
- Yeah.

- Do you like your eyes?
- Yeah, I do.

You always wear
a hat though, I've noticed.

I don't like to make
eye contact with people.

Is that why you wear
a hat when you dance?

Um hmm.

'Cause you don't like
to look people in the eyes?

You don't like feeling
all those eyes on you?

No...
It's intimidating.

I just like to have fun,
and do my thing.

So do you
pretend you're alone?

Well, I am alone.
Everybody's alone.

Life imitating art,
imitating life, imitating art.

Yeah.

New beginnings are really new.

Go sent me a text earlier...

from dirty, crowded Brooklyn.

Thinking about you, Sexy.
Seen any hot guys yet?

Hope you don't have
to resort to farm animals.

If it comes to that,
let me know

and I'll be on
the first flight out.

I think that I'll always
be friends with him.

And I know that people
say that all the time,

and they usually
don't mean it.

But I really believe that.

But we'll always
have Facebook.

Yeah, I'm back on.
I lasted about 23 hours.

So it turns out I knew
what I wanted all along.

I wanted to move home.

I'm not exactly from Iowa,
but I think it's safe to say

that I wanted to move
back to the country.

Own a farm.

Drive a combine.

Buy a shotgun.

I want to have a family

and grow old sipping lemonade
on my front porch.

I think that's how I'll be
a real, radical homosexual.

So I guess this is

the small town boy
in the city, signing off.

And if you'd like to follow
my journey, click here.