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1
00:00:05,500 --> 00:00:07,500
[theme music playing]
2
00:01:05,310 --> 00:01:06,900
[narrator] Previously on Superman...
3
00:01:06,980 --> 00:01:09,400
I just wanted to let you know
I'll be in late tomorrow.
4
00:01:09,520 --> 00:01:11,440
I'm having breakfast with Bruce.
5
00:01:11,530 --> 00:01:12,610
Isn't that special?
6
00:01:12,690 --> 00:01:15,660
[Lois] He's very thoughtful
and much deeper
7
00:01:15,740 --> 00:01:17,700
than the gossip mongers
would lead you to believe.
8
00:01:17,950 --> 00:01:19,160
You'd be surprised.
9
00:01:20,540 --> 00:01:22,040
Where's The Joker?
10
00:01:22,330 --> 00:01:23,830
Lexy, old kid.
11
00:01:23,910 --> 00:01:27,460
Pay me $1 billion,
and I'll kill Superman.
12
00:01:29,210 --> 00:01:30,130
[groans]
13
00:01:30,500 --> 00:01:33,630
[Batman] The Joker has 20 pounds more
where this came from.
14
00:01:33,760 --> 00:01:36,760
You know I can't be connected to this
in any way.
15
00:01:36,930 --> 00:01:37,930
Deal?
16
00:01:38,050 --> 00:01:39,220
Deal.
17
00:01:42,350 --> 00:01:45,140
The senator
18
00:01:45,230 --> 00:01:49,360
declined comment. Done.
19
00:01:50,860 --> 00:01:52,440
And not a moment too soon.
20
00:01:52,570 --> 00:01:54,070
Bruce. When did you...
21
00:01:54,150 --> 00:01:57,110
About three paragraphs ago.
I didn't wanna distract you.
22
00:01:57,450 --> 00:01:58,990
Ready to do the town?
23
00:01:59,120 --> 00:02:02,790
Give me a minute to see the chief,
then I'm all yours.
24
00:02:05,120 --> 00:02:06,920
Clark, keep an eye on Bruce, will you?
25
00:02:08,330 --> 00:02:09,330
I'll be right back.
26
00:02:10,590 --> 00:02:13,050
- Actually, Lois--
- Don't be intimidated.
27
00:02:13,130 --> 00:02:16,670
Regale him with madcap tales
of the nightlife in Smallville.
28
00:02:18,220 --> 00:02:19,720
She never stops, does she?
29
00:02:19,800 --> 00:02:23,180
Not that I've noticed.
Any luck finding the comedian?
30
00:02:23,390 --> 00:02:26,390
Three nights,
and not so much as a green hair.
31
00:02:27,440 --> 00:02:30,360
Of course, you have been dividing
your time between work and Lois.
32
00:02:30,440 --> 00:02:31,730
Is that a problem?
33
00:02:32,020 --> 00:02:36,240
Let's just say I'm concerned.
Your reputation is dubious,
34
00:02:36,360 --> 00:02:37,820
in and out of costume.
35
00:02:38,030 --> 00:02:41,700
Don't worry.
I'm taking Lois quite seriously.
36
00:02:41,780 --> 00:02:45,040
Besides, it seems to me
you had your chance.
37
00:02:46,250 --> 00:02:49,290
So, Mr. Wayne,
ready to sweep me off my feet?
38
00:02:51,670 --> 00:02:53,590
Be seeing you.
39
00:03:07,140 --> 00:03:09,770
This city is gorgeous at night.
40
00:03:09,850 --> 00:03:12,520
Is it? I wasn't looking at the city.
41
00:03:15,650 --> 00:03:18,490
Lois. About Clark Kent.
42
00:03:18,570 --> 00:03:20,410
Are you and he...
43
00:03:20,490 --> 00:03:21,910
I mean...
44
00:03:22,320 --> 00:03:26,490
No, Bruce. Your only competition
flew away some time ago.
45
00:03:28,580 --> 00:03:32,130
[Joker] My, you do live dangerously.
46
00:03:34,840 --> 00:03:38,720
Don't you realize you're moving in
on Superman's main squeeze?
47
00:03:38,800 --> 00:03:41,220
And then I said... Huh?
48
00:03:41,300 --> 00:03:42,300
[screaming]
49
00:03:44,390 --> 00:03:45,390
[man] They've got guns!
50
00:03:49,020 --> 00:03:49,850
Ah!
51
00:03:54,810 --> 00:03:56,360
Take your hands off her, you--
52
00:04:07,620 --> 00:04:08,950
[screaming]
53
00:04:10,580 --> 00:04:12,460
See that he's street pizza.
54
00:04:12,580 --> 00:04:15,670
In this town,
some flying fool could have caught him.
55
00:04:31,560 --> 00:04:32,560
Ah!
56
00:04:38,820 --> 00:04:40,230
- [grunts]
- [woman gasps]
57
00:04:48,030 --> 00:04:50,450
[Joker] Well, aren't we tenacious?
58
00:04:50,540 --> 00:04:51,540
[gunshots]
59
00:04:59,090 --> 00:05:01,260
Catch you next time, Brucie.
60
00:05:01,340 --> 00:05:02,340
[laughs maniacally]
61
00:05:08,680 --> 00:05:11,390
Swell. Now Gotham's
sending us their wackos.
62
00:05:11,560 --> 00:05:15,560
Don't worry, Mr. Wayne. The SCU
will get her back safe and sound.
63
00:05:16,020 --> 00:05:18,020
Thank you, Inspector.
64
00:05:19,900 --> 00:05:23,320
- You realize she's just the bait.
- I'll be careful.
65
00:05:23,400 --> 00:05:27,370
Careful won't cut it.
With Joker, expect the unexpected.
66
00:05:27,490 --> 00:05:29,780
Maybe you should have remembered that.
67
00:05:36,080 --> 00:05:37,540
Think of it, Miss Lane.
68
00:05:37,630 --> 00:05:40,290
This rock is more precious than gold.
69
00:05:40,380 --> 00:05:44,720
One teensy chip will go for thousands
on the collectors' market
70
00:05:44,800 --> 00:05:47,970
after it kills your flyboy.
71
00:05:59,110 --> 00:06:02,400
- You sick, demented, murdering freak!
- How rude.
72
00:06:04,530 --> 00:06:06,070
- [Lois grunts]
- [Harley laughs]
73
00:06:06,400 --> 00:06:09,450
[Joker] Half for now and half for later.
74
00:06:09,950 --> 00:06:13,870
You've got a front row seat
for the story of the century, my dear.
75
00:06:14,160 --> 00:06:17,210
The death of Superman.
76
00:06:57,750 --> 00:06:59,000
[phone rings]
77
00:06:59,080 --> 00:07:00,210
SCU, Turpin.
78
00:07:01,290 --> 00:07:04,880
Am-scray, turnip.
I wanna talk to the boy in blue.
79
00:07:05,000 --> 00:07:07,170
You got something to say, clown,
say it to--
80
00:07:07,260 --> 00:07:10,760
I'm here, Joker.
What have you done with Lois Lane?
81
00:07:10,890 --> 00:07:13,050
She's right here, Superman,
82
00:07:13,140 --> 00:07:16,560
- and she'd love to see you.
- [muffled groans]
83
00:07:16,640 --> 00:07:21,060
Want to know where here is? Don't blink.
84
00:07:27,190 --> 00:07:30,910
Got the picture, Supey? Come alone.
85
00:07:30,990 --> 00:07:34,660
No cops, or little Lois dies laughing.
86
00:07:36,700 --> 00:07:39,330
Wait, what picture? What did he mean?
87
00:07:47,800 --> 00:07:48,800
[beeping]
88
00:08:07,280 --> 00:08:09,780
More powerful than a locomotive.
89
00:08:09,990 --> 00:08:11,740
And just about as subtle.
90
00:08:14,910 --> 00:08:18,620
Oh, I'm flattered you put on
your Sunday best.
91
00:08:20,000 --> 00:08:21,580
Where is she, Joker?
92
00:08:21,660 --> 00:08:24,080
Forget about Lois.
93
00:08:24,880 --> 00:08:27,460
Feast your eyes on this.
94
00:08:33,340 --> 00:08:35,390
Now, I'll ask you once more.
95
00:08:42,600 --> 00:08:44,350
I don't understand.
96
00:08:44,440 --> 00:08:47,940
I had it all planned so perfectly.
97
00:08:52,530 --> 00:08:55,570
- Oh, wait, that's it.
- What?
98
00:08:55,950 --> 00:08:59,120
Silly me. I forgot the acid.
99
00:09:05,040 --> 00:09:05,880
[grunting]
100
00:09:12,010 --> 00:09:15,720
Aw, what's the matter, Supey?
101
00:09:18,050 --> 00:09:20,890
No steam left in the old locomotive?
102
00:09:36,530 --> 00:09:37,660
Ah!
103
00:09:45,670 --> 00:09:46,670
Ah!
104
00:09:48,460 --> 00:09:50,800
I hope you're taking notes.
105
00:09:50,880 --> 00:09:51,960
- [muffled groans]
- [phone rings]
106
00:09:53,510 --> 00:09:55,760
- Not now.
- [Harley] But, pudding,
107
00:09:55,840 --> 00:09:59,050
- Batman's headed your way.
- Get out.
108
00:10:04,310 --> 00:10:08,480
Pardon my hasty exit.
We have a pest control problem.
109
00:10:10,560 --> 00:10:13,690
Feel free to expire any time.
110
00:10:20,910 --> 00:10:21,910
[grunting]
111
00:10:46,640 --> 00:10:48,690
I'll be back in a moment.
112
00:10:53,360 --> 00:10:54,360
[Joker laughs maniacally on TV]
113
00:10:56,150 --> 00:10:59,110
Two for the price of one. I love it.
114
00:10:59,200 --> 00:11:00,610
And the best part is...
115
00:11:00,700 --> 00:11:03,330
you're all going out with a smile.
116
00:11:03,410 --> 00:11:05,410
Have a happy--
117
00:11:16,090 --> 00:11:20,300
Hydrochloric acid. It would take a week
to eat through the wall.
118
00:11:20,590 --> 00:11:22,970
No. Wait.
119
00:11:23,300 --> 00:11:26,020
Kryp... Kryptonite.
120
00:11:44,200 --> 00:11:45,580
[whispering] Snap out of it, Kent.
121
00:11:45,660 --> 00:11:48,370
Or Joker gets the last laugh.
122
00:11:53,710 --> 00:11:55,210
Keep your heads down.
123
00:11:58,960 --> 00:11:59,970
[screaming]
124
00:12:03,340 --> 00:12:05,220
Uh-oh. They're loose!
125
00:12:05,300 --> 00:12:07,430
That's not fair.
126
00:12:12,400 --> 00:12:14,230
It's over, Joker.
127
00:12:18,150 --> 00:12:21,240
It hasn't begun, Supey.
128
00:12:22,740 --> 00:12:24,950
He's gotta be kidding.
129
00:12:32,000 --> 00:12:33,500
They're grenades.
130
00:12:33,580 --> 00:12:36,130
Expect the unexpected.
131
00:12:50,350 --> 00:12:53,440
Thank you. I couldn't have saved Lois
without your help.
132
00:12:53,520 --> 00:12:55,650
I'm aware of that.
133
00:13:12,290 --> 00:13:15,920
[gasps] Bruce. Bruce Wayne.
He was with me when Joker--
134
00:13:16,080 --> 00:13:18,250
Is he all right? Do you know?
135
00:13:18,380 --> 00:13:19,710
He's fine.
136
00:13:19,880 --> 00:13:21,260
Just fine.
137
00:13:31,560 --> 00:13:35,350
I wish to assure all of Metropolis
that this explosion was non-nuclear.
138
00:13:35,480 --> 00:13:37,480
And presents no danger to the community.
139
00:13:37,650 --> 00:13:39,110
Now, if you'll excuse me.
140
00:13:39,190 --> 00:13:42,650
[reporter] Hey, what about The Joker,
Mr. Luthor?
141
00:13:43,280 --> 00:13:45,360
You heard the man.
142
00:13:48,910 --> 00:13:51,450
What could have possessed me
to trust that clown?
143
00:13:53,540 --> 00:13:56,040
[Harley in high-pitched voice]
Hello, Mr. J. I'm Batman.
144
00:13:56,120 --> 00:13:58,040
Eat me, eat me, eat me!
145
00:13:59,920 --> 00:14:02,760
I know you're trying
to cheer me up, Harley.
146
00:14:02,840 --> 00:14:06,260
But you see,
any time I blow a billion-dollar deal,
147
00:14:06,340 --> 00:14:08,430
it really kills my appetite!
148
00:14:08,800 --> 00:14:10,100
- [gunshots]
- [screaming]
149
00:14:27,570 --> 00:14:32,370
Honestly, Lex, don't you think
I feel bad enough already?
150
00:14:32,790 --> 00:14:35,160
You maniac! You idiot!
151
00:14:35,250 --> 00:14:37,540
How dare you use
one of my laboratories--
152
00:14:37,620 --> 00:14:39,120
Harley?
153
00:14:40,750 --> 00:14:44,130
- Put him down, baldy.
- Mercy.
154
00:14:44,590 --> 00:14:45,590
[grunting]
155
00:14:46,170 --> 00:14:48,130
[Mercy] Here's for that punch
in the face.
156
00:14:48,220 --> 00:14:51,180
Can't we discuss this like gentlemen?
157
00:14:51,640 --> 00:14:52,640
[grunts]
158
00:14:52,760 --> 00:14:57,350
[Harley] Ooh, listen to
little Miss Can't-Take-A-Joke.
159
00:14:58,890 --> 00:15:02,650
Thank you. Have a seat, please.
160
00:15:05,110 --> 00:15:06,530
Banzai!
161
00:15:06,610 --> 00:15:07,740
[Harley and Mercy grunting]
162
00:15:09,950 --> 00:15:12,740
You owe me an explanation.
163
00:15:12,870 --> 00:15:14,790
The lab was a perfect set-up.
164
00:15:14,870 --> 00:15:16,950
How did I know
old bat-breath would show up?
165
00:15:17,040 --> 00:15:20,210
Batman? He followed you to Metropolis?
166
00:15:20,790 --> 00:15:23,170
Oh, right. Like it's my fault.
167
00:15:23,250 --> 00:15:25,710
Look, I've still got
half the Kryptonite.
168
00:15:25,800 --> 00:15:27,550
I can still finish the job.
169
00:15:27,630 --> 00:15:30,470
But if I have to cope
with two men in tights,
170
00:15:30,550 --> 00:15:33,100
- the price goes up.
- Unacceptable.
171
00:15:33,180 --> 00:15:37,180
If you can't handle some mental case
in a fright mask, our deal is off.
172
00:15:37,350 --> 00:15:38,600
[grunting]
173
00:15:38,680 --> 00:15:40,850
[Lex] Mercy, let's go.
174
00:15:40,980 --> 00:15:44,860
Keep in mind, this is your last chance.
175
00:15:47,480 --> 00:15:48,490
[grunting]
176
00:15:53,410 --> 00:15:55,080
How you doing, slugger?
177
00:15:55,160 --> 00:15:58,160
A-okay, Mr. J.
178
00:15:59,370 --> 00:16:00,370
Oh.
179
00:16:07,170 --> 00:16:09,380
Hey, Smallville. Come in. What's up?
180
00:16:10,220 --> 00:16:13,470
I see you're holding up
after last night. I've been...
181
00:16:14,220 --> 00:16:15,220
Oh.
182
00:16:17,100 --> 00:16:18,890
I didn't realize you had company.
183
00:16:18,970 --> 00:16:22,100
Whoa, you might at least tell me
why you stopped by.
184
00:16:22,190 --> 00:16:23,810
I've been nosing around.
185
00:16:23,900 --> 00:16:26,900
I think I may know why The Joker
is suddenly after Superman.
186
00:16:26,980 --> 00:16:29,320
Well, don't keep us in suspense.
187
00:16:30,490 --> 00:16:33,530
I think he's in cahoots
with your boyfriend's business partner.
188
00:16:33,610 --> 00:16:35,820
With Lex? Are you sure?
189
00:16:35,910 --> 00:16:38,410
I can't prove it. Yet.
190
00:16:38,490 --> 00:16:41,910
I suppose I could ask him.
191
00:16:53,430 --> 00:16:54,760
What? Who?
192
00:16:59,930 --> 00:17:00,810
[gasps]
193
00:17:01,060 --> 00:17:03,690
- What do you want?
- Information.
194
00:17:03,980 --> 00:17:05,980
Regarding a mutual acquaintance.
195
00:17:06,110 --> 00:17:08,190
What are you talking about?
I don't know any--
196
00:17:08,270 --> 00:17:09,650
[grunts]
197
00:17:11,650 --> 00:17:13,400
You know exactly who I mean.
198
00:17:13,490 --> 00:17:16,570
Where is he? What kind of deal
have you made with him?
199
00:17:16,660 --> 00:17:17,950
I don't...
200
00:17:18,410 --> 00:17:20,120
- I...
- [man 1] Mr. Luthor. You all right?
201
00:17:20,200 --> 00:17:21,830
- [man 2] Who's in there?
- [man 1] Open up!
202
00:17:21,910 --> 00:17:23,580
- [man 2] He's in trouble.
- [man 1] The door's locked.
203
00:17:23,660 --> 00:17:24,920
[man 2] I don't have the keys.
204
00:17:25,290 --> 00:17:26,500
[men banging on door]
205
00:17:31,090 --> 00:17:34,170
Think about it. I'll be back.
206
00:17:35,800 --> 00:17:37,720
- [man 1] All right, break it in.
- [door crashing open]
207
00:17:41,640 --> 00:17:43,520
- [man 1] Mr. Luthor?
- Get out.
208
00:17:47,690 --> 00:17:48,690
[Mercy groans]
209
00:17:54,570 --> 00:17:56,530
Contact the clown immediately.
210
00:17:56,610 --> 00:17:59,830
It appears we'll have to deal with
his friend after all.
211
00:18:03,330 --> 00:18:04,370
[Clark] A transfer?
212
00:18:04,460 --> 00:18:07,880
Just to the Planet's Gotham City bureau.
213
00:18:08,830 --> 00:18:10,630
Does this mean you and Bruce...
214
00:18:10,920 --> 00:18:13,420
We haven't made a formal commitment
or anything,
215
00:18:13,510 --> 00:18:16,220
but yeah, it's that serious.
216
00:18:16,680 --> 00:18:19,300
Hey, chin up, Smallville.
With me out of the picture,
217
00:18:19,390 --> 00:18:20,970
you might get a shot at stardom.
218
00:18:21,470 --> 00:18:22,850
[Perry] Lois! Clark!
219
00:18:23,180 --> 00:18:25,270
I just got word the cruise ship
S. S. Atlantis
220
00:18:25,350 --> 00:18:27,730
is sending a distress call
200 miles offshore.
221
00:18:28,190 --> 00:18:29,190
Whoa.
222
00:18:30,360 --> 00:18:34,530
Exactly. Call the Coast Guard to confirm
and the cruise line for a statement.
223
00:18:34,610 --> 00:18:36,650
You're not out of here yet, Lane.
224
00:18:45,250 --> 00:18:47,250
[grunting]
225
00:18:57,340 --> 00:18:59,340
[cheerful music playing]
226
00:19:05,600 --> 00:19:07,520
What the devil is he up to now?
227
00:19:08,350 --> 00:19:10,770
[Alfred] A change of attire, sir?
228
00:19:12,230 --> 00:19:14,270
How fast can we get to Hobbs Bay?
229
00:19:19,360 --> 00:19:22,450
If I may be so bold.
When in Rome, sir...
230
00:19:33,960 --> 00:19:36,260
- What's the problem, Captain?
- What do you mean?
231
00:19:36,420 --> 00:19:38,510
You sent out a distress call,
didn't you?
232
00:19:38,720 --> 00:19:41,340
Not on my authorization.
233
00:19:41,430 --> 00:19:42,430
[beeping]
234
00:19:46,680 --> 00:19:50,230
There's the culprit.
It's broadcasting an electronic beacon.
235
00:19:50,350 --> 00:19:53,230
If one of my crew is responsible
for this prank, they--
236
00:19:56,980 --> 00:19:57,990
Ah!
237
00:19:59,150 --> 00:20:01,530
What is it? What's happening?
238
00:20:06,330 --> 00:20:08,200
[Superman] Whoever sent
that distress signal,
239
00:20:08,290 --> 00:20:10,290
just provided the distress.
240
00:20:24,220 --> 00:20:26,390
Copybat, copybat.
241
00:20:26,970 --> 00:20:30,850
Suffering from propulsion envy, Batboy?
242
00:20:32,190 --> 00:20:33,150
[beeping]
243
00:20:37,860 --> 00:20:40,440
Think of it as a welcome wagon, Bats,
244
00:20:40,570 --> 00:20:43,860
welcoming you to the nearest mortuary.
245
00:20:43,950 --> 00:20:44,950
[Joker laughs maniacally]
246
00:20:54,170 --> 00:20:56,170
[theme music playing]
17596
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