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1
00:00:35,411 --> 00:00:37,663
Alright, children,
as I'm sure you all remember,
2
00:00:37,788 --> 00:00:40,082
today we're gonna continue
our biology lesson
3
00:00:40,207 --> 00:00:41,876
by dissecting an organism.
4
00:00:42,001 --> 00:00:43,335
Yeah! Whoo-hoo!
5
00:00:43,461 --> 00:00:45,463
Now, what we are
going to dissect today
6
00:00:45,588 --> 00:00:47,214
is the West Indian manatee.
7
00:00:47,339 --> 00:00:49,508
Manatees are mammals
that live in the oceans
8
00:00:49,633 --> 00:00:51,886
and are often called
"the gentle clowns of the sea."
9
00:00:52,011 --> 00:00:54,638
Uh, Miss Choksondick,
aren't manatees endangered?
10
00:00:54,722 --> 00:00:56,265
They sure are, Wendy,
11
00:00:56,390 --> 00:00:59,393
and that's why we must learn
what's inside them.
12
00:00:59,518 --> 00:01:01,479
Now, we don't have quite enough
manatees to go around,
13
00:01:01,604 --> 00:01:03,355
so I think we're gonna have
to split up into groups of four.
14
00:01:03,481 --> 00:01:05,483
Hey,
ours is still alive!
15
00:01:05,608 --> 00:01:06,859
Oh, hold on.
16
00:01:09,862 --> 00:01:11,197
Now, children,
our first incision
17
00:01:11,322 --> 00:01:12,448
will be along the abdomen.
18
00:01:12,573 --> 00:01:13,616
I can't do it, dude.
19
00:01:13,741 --> 00:01:15,117
Oh, don't be
such a baby.
20
00:01:15,242 --> 00:01:16,494
You do it, Kenny.
- Mm-mm.
21
00:01:16,619 --> 00:01:17,620
Come on, Kenny.
22
00:01:17,745 --> 00:01:18,788
I'll give you five bucks
to do it.
23
00:01:18,913 --> 00:01:20,247
Five bucks!
24
00:01:20,372 --> 00:01:20,998
Too bad Cartman's
missing this.
25
00:01:21,123 --> 00:01:22,041
He must be really sick.
26
00:01:22,166 --> 00:01:23,793
Say, Terrance,
27
00:01:23,918 --> 00:01:25,920
this body appears to have
been moved since the murder.
28
00:01:26,045 --> 00:01:27,797
Look at the forensic evidence
around the torso.
29
00:01:27,922 --> 00:01:29,131
I don't see anything.
30
00:01:29,256 --> 00:01:31,008
Look closer.
31
00:01:31,133 --> 00:01:32,760
Closer.
32
00:01:34,512 --> 00:01:35,554
I still don't see
anything, Phillip.
33
00:01:35,679 --> 00:01:36,889
Wait, wait.
34
00:01:37,014 --> 00:01:38,224
I know what's
gonna happen, Mom.
35
00:01:38,349 --> 00:01:38,974
You want to know
what's gonna happen?
36
00:01:39,100 --> 00:01:40,476
Keep looking, Terrance.
37
00:01:40,601 --> 00:01:41,977
The forensic evidence
is right around here.
38
00:01:49,944 --> 00:01:51,529
Whoa, that totally
surprised me!
39
00:01:51,654 --> 00:01:53,155
I can't believe how this show
manages to stay fresh.
40
00:01:53,280 --> 00:01:55,032
Huh, Mom?
- Yes, sweetie.
41
00:01:55,157 --> 00:01:56,742
Mom, can you go make me
42
00:01:56,867 --> 00:01:58,619
a toaster-pastry-
chocolate-mix-butter bar?
43
00:01:58,744 --> 00:02:01,288
Oh, honey, why don't you
go make it yourself?
44
00:02:01,413 --> 00:02:03,582
Mommy's expecting
some company.
45
00:02:03,707 --> 00:02:05,709
God, I have to do
everything around here.
46
00:02:25,312 --> 00:02:27,815
What the hell's
going on?
47
00:02:27,940 --> 00:02:29,692
Uh, sweetie,
48
00:02:29,817 --> 00:02:32,361
your friends wanted
to have a talk with you.
49
00:02:32,486 --> 00:02:35,114
Eric, your friends
and your family
50
00:02:35,239 --> 00:02:37,741
are all concerned
about your weight, m'kay?
51
00:02:37,867 --> 00:02:39,243
What?
52
00:02:39,368 --> 00:02:40,703
We believe that you
might have a problem.
53
00:02:40,828 --> 00:02:41,787
You're God damn right
I have a problem.
54
00:02:41,912 --> 00:02:42,955
Terrance & Phillip is on,
55
00:02:43,080 --> 00:02:43,998
and I don't have anywhere
to sit!
56
00:02:44,123 --> 00:02:45,166
Now, what the hell
is this?
57
00:02:45,291 --> 00:02:46,625
It's called
intervention, Eric.
58
00:02:46,750 --> 00:02:48,377
Your friends and I
have all chipped in,
59
00:02:48,502 --> 00:02:50,171
and we're going to
send you up
60
00:02:50,296 --> 00:02:52,089
to a weight-management
retreat.
61
00:02:52,214 --> 00:02:54,008
Fat camp?
- Yes, fat camp.
62
00:02:54,133 --> 00:02:55,217
Alright, I don't know
who the hell
63
00:02:55,342 --> 00:02:56,927
put you all up to this,
64
00:02:57,052 --> 00:02:58,804
but I am sure as hell not going
to any gay-ass fat camp!
65
00:02:58,929 --> 00:03:00,890
Now, Eric,
all these people came here
66
00:03:01,015 --> 00:03:03,893
and paid to send you to camp
because they care about you.
67
00:03:04,018 --> 00:03:05,352
Yeah, except for me.
68
00:03:05,477 --> 00:03:06,020
I just wanted
to see the look on your face
69
00:03:06,145 --> 00:03:07,188
when they told you.
70
00:03:07,313 --> 00:03:08,647
Mom, tell them!
71
00:03:08,772 --> 00:03:10,399
Tell them I'm not fat;
I'm just big-boned!
72
00:03:10,524 --> 00:03:11,734
Tell them all the stories about
how everyone in your family
73
00:03:11,859 --> 00:03:13,569
was big as a child
but then grew into their bodies.
74
00:03:13,694 --> 00:03:15,196
Oh, sweetie,
those were all lies.
75
00:03:15,321 --> 00:03:16,614
You're just fat.
76
00:03:19,491 --> 00:03:22,161
And now we will be removing
the spleen.
77
00:03:22,286 --> 00:03:23,662
Notice how the manatee's
spleen is designed for--
78
00:03:23,787 --> 00:03:25,706
Ah, Miss Choksondick,
79
00:03:25,831 --> 00:03:27,041
can we have a quick word
with you?
80
00:03:27,166 --> 00:03:28,751
Alright.
81
00:03:28,876 --> 00:03:29,585
Continue with the removal
of the spleen, children.
82
00:03:29,710 --> 00:03:30,753
I'll be right back.
83
00:03:30,878 --> 00:03:32,713
Oh, dude,
check this out.
84
00:03:32,838 --> 00:03:34,215
That's so gross.
85
00:03:34,340 --> 00:03:35,591
Hey, Kenny, how much
for you to eat this?
86
00:03:36,926 --> 00:03:37,676
I'll give you 10 bucks
to eat it.
87
00:03:37,801 --> 00:03:39,386
I'll throw in five.
88
00:03:39,511 --> 00:03:40,804
And so, apparently,
there's been a little mix-up.
89
00:03:40,930 --> 00:03:42,306
The manatees
were meant to go
90
00:03:42,431 --> 00:03:43,682
to the Denver shelter
aquarium,
91
00:03:43,807 --> 00:03:45,184
and the frogs
were meant to come here.
92
00:03:45,309 --> 00:03:46,602
Oh, dear.
93
00:03:46,727 --> 00:03:48,103
I'll throw in a dollar!
- I've got three.
94
00:03:48,229 --> 00:03:49,438
Come on, dude.
95
00:03:49,563 --> 00:03:50,439
All you gotta do
is eat it really fast.
96
00:03:50,564 --> 00:03:51,857
41 bucks.
97
00:03:53,275 --> 00:03:54,944
Ew-hoo-hoo!
He did it!
98
00:03:55,069 --> 00:03:57,821
Alright, children, now,
let's get back in our seats.
99
00:03:57,947 --> 00:04:01,533
Uh, we are now going to put
the manatees back together.
100
00:04:05,829 --> 00:04:07,581
And it has basketball courts
and tennis courts,
101
00:04:07,706 --> 00:04:11,502
and you can call mommy
anytime you want.
102
00:04:11,627 --> 00:04:13,671
Oh, sweetie-kins,
don't be mad.
103
00:04:13,796 --> 00:04:15,631
I'm sure you're
going to have a good time.
104
00:04:15,756 --> 00:04:17,633
And when you come back,
you'll be all healthy and thin.
105
00:04:19,176 --> 00:04:20,469
Howdy, there!
106
00:04:20,594 --> 00:04:21,887
I'm one of
the weight counselors here.
107
00:04:22,012 --> 00:04:23,264
This must be
Eric Cartman.
108
00:04:23,389 --> 00:04:25,349
Yes, I'm afraid
he's a little moody.
109
00:04:25,474 --> 00:04:26,809
Oh, we'll change that.
110
00:04:26,934 --> 00:04:28,477
Hello, camper.
My name is Rick.
111
00:04:28,602 --> 00:04:29,979
How are you doing?
112
00:04:30,104 --> 00:04:31,981
Well, I'm pissed off, Rick.
How are you?
113
00:04:32,106 --> 00:04:33,732
I'm doing great!
114
00:04:33,857 --> 00:04:35,693
Why don't you come on out,
and we'll get you oriented?
115
00:04:35,818 --> 00:04:37,987
I'll take care of him
from here, ma'am.
116
00:04:38,112 --> 00:04:40,030
Oh.
Well, good-bye, sweetie.
117
00:04:40,155 --> 00:04:42,116
Don't touch me.
118
00:04:42,241 --> 00:04:44,535
Eric, this is the beginning
of a whole new life for you!
119
00:04:50,582 --> 00:04:52,084
Have you got any candy?
- No.
120
00:04:52,209 --> 00:04:54,295
My mom says I ain't
to eat no candy here.
121
00:04:54,420 --> 00:04:55,629
I'm supposed
to lose weight.
122
00:04:55,754 --> 00:04:57,423
Alright!
123
00:04:57,548 --> 00:04:59,633
Everybody's here, and that means
we can get down to business.
124
00:04:59,758 --> 00:05:01,677
Over the next few weeks,
we're gonna learn
125
00:05:01,802 --> 00:05:03,053
that losing weight is fun!
Right, gang?
126
00:05:03,178 --> 00:05:05,514
Right.
127
00:05:05,639 --> 00:05:07,474
Wait a second.
Do you kids hear something?
128
00:05:07,599 --> 00:05:08,851
Why, I could've swore that--
129
00:05:08,976 --> 00:05:10,519
Rrrawr!
130
00:05:10,644 --> 00:05:12,855
Oh, no, kids!
It's glutinous fat!
131
00:05:12,980 --> 00:05:15,774
I'm gonna take over your body
and make you slow.
132
00:05:15,899 --> 00:05:17,776
Oh.
What are we going to do?
133
00:05:17,901 --> 00:05:19,028
Wait, I know.
134
00:05:19,153 --> 00:05:21,905
I can knock it out with...
exercise!
135
00:05:22,031 --> 00:05:23,699
And...proper diet!
136
00:05:23,824 --> 00:05:25,200
Oh, no!
137
00:05:25,326 --> 00:05:27,619
Exercise and proper diet
have killed me.
138
00:05:27,745 --> 00:05:29,913
I guess we took care
of that bad old fat,
139
00:05:30,039 --> 00:05:30,914
didn't we, kids?
140
00:05:31,040 --> 00:05:33,083
Yeah!
141
00:05:33,208 --> 00:05:35,127
Well, hold on a second,
because that glutinous fat
142
00:05:35,252 --> 00:05:37,212
was really our good friend
Susan,
143
00:05:37,338 --> 00:05:39,173
who's another
weight counselor!
144
00:05:39,298 --> 00:05:40,883
Heh, it was a lady
in a costume.
145
00:05:41,008 --> 00:05:42,760
Would somebody put this retard
out of his misery?
146
00:05:45,179 --> 00:05:46,597
What's the matter?
- Kenny's not feeling so good.
147
00:05:46,722 --> 00:05:48,265
That manatee spleen
made him sick.
148
00:05:48,390 --> 00:05:50,017
Uh-oh, I guess we shouldn't
have made him eat it.
149
00:05:51,894 --> 00:05:53,354
Ew!
150
00:05:53,479 --> 00:05:54,938
Well, at least you
got it out of your system.
151
00:05:55,064 --> 00:05:56,565
Oh, dude, you can still
kind of see the spleen!
152
00:05:57,900 --> 00:05:59,193
- How much, Kenny?
- What?
153
00:05:59,318 --> 00:06:00,819
I'll give you five bucks
to eat your puke.
154
00:06:00,944 --> 00:06:01,820
I'm in for five.
155
00:06:01,945 --> 00:06:02,863
Oh, you guys.
156
00:06:02,988 --> 00:06:04,031
I got three.
- Six.
157
00:06:04,156 --> 00:06:05,741
Uh, here,
you can scoop it up
158
00:06:05,866 --> 00:06:07,993
in my R. Kelly thermos.
159
00:06:10,496 --> 00:06:13,499
That's 19 bucks,
Kenny.
160
00:06:15,000 --> 00:06:16,460
Kick ass, dude!
161
00:06:16,585 --> 00:06:18,545
You know, dude, there might be
something to this.
162
00:06:18,670 --> 00:06:20,130
Yeah, people are willing
to pay big money
163
00:06:20,255 --> 00:06:21,215
to see Kenny
do this stuff.
164
00:06:24,885 --> 00:06:28,472
Doing great, kids.
Come on!
165
00:06:32,976 --> 00:06:35,229
This...is...
bullcrap!
166
00:06:35,354 --> 00:06:37,689
Well, I sure enjoyed
my carrots and protein bar.
167
00:06:37,815 --> 00:06:39,691
How about you, gang?
- I'm starving.
168
00:06:39,817 --> 00:06:41,026
This is it.
I'm going to die here.
169
00:06:41,151 --> 00:06:43,070
I hope you all left room
for dessert.
170
00:06:43,195 --> 00:06:46,615
Soybean pudding
for everybody!
171
00:06:46,740 --> 00:06:48,534
Are you gonna eat
your soybean pudding?
172
00:06:48,659 --> 00:06:50,119
Take it!
I can't eat this crap!
173
00:06:50,244 --> 00:06:52,496
Me neither. I have to have
sugar, or I'm gonna die.
174
00:06:52,621 --> 00:06:54,081
Yeah, well,
when I was in prison,
175
00:06:54,206 --> 00:06:56,458
we used to sneak stuff in
by hiding it up our ass.
176
00:06:56,583 --> 00:06:57,793
I've got some fudge
hidden up my ass.
177
00:06:57,918 --> 00:06:59,336
You want some?
178
00:06:59,461 --> 00:07:00,754
Yeah, I'm not falling
for that one again.
179
00:07:04,466 --> 00:07:05,884
Alright, Clyde Frog,
180
00:07:06,009 --> 00:07:07,010
we just gotta clear
the counselor building,
181
00:07:07,136 --> 00:07:08,303
and we're free.
182
00:07:13,058 --> 00:07:14,059
We did it, Clyde Frog!
183
00:07:14,184 --> 00:07:15,602
Now the only question is,
184
00:07:15,727 --> 00:07:17,563
do we go home
to our traitor mom and friends,
185
00:07:17,688 --> 00:07:19,314
or do we start a new life
on the run?
186
00:07:19,440 --> 00:07:21,400
An ice-cream truck!
187
00:07:21,525 --> 00:07:22,651
Hey, wait!
188
00:07:22,776 --> 00:07:24,069
Boy, am I glad
to see you.
189
00:07:24,194 --> 00:07:25,529
Can I interest you
in some ice cream?
190
00:07:25,654 --> 00:07:27,030
You're damn right
you can!
191
00:07:27,156 --> 00:07:28,574
Two roller pops, please.
192
00:07:28,699 --> 00:07:31,243
Alrighty, do you want
this kind or this kind?
193
00:07:31,368 --> 00:07:33,954
Huh? Oh!
194
00:07:34,079 --> 00:07:36,957
They tricked us
again, huh?
195
00:07:37,082 --> 00:07:39,585
Oh, God damn it!
Let me out of here!
196
00:07:39,710 --> 00:07:42,045
Hang on, we'll be back at camp
in a matter of no time.
197
00:07:45,924 --> 00:07:47,134
They always get us.
198
00:07:47,259 --> 00:07:48,760
Sometimes it's
an ice-cream truck,
199
00:07:48,886 --> 00:07:50,512
sometimes it's
a taco stand,
200
00:07:50,637 --> 00:07:51,680
but they always
fool us.
201
00:07:51,805 --> 00:07:52,681
I can't help it.
202
00:07:52,806 --> 00:07:54,016
I'd give anything,
203
00:07:54,141 --> 00:07:55,559
any amount of money
for some candy.
204
00:07:55,684 --> 00:07:57,186
Hey, kids!
Looks like we had
205
00:07:57,311 --> 00:07:59,146
some attempted escapees
again tonight.
206
00:07:59,271 --> 00:08:00,689
Escape-a-roo!
207
00:08:00,814 --> 00:08:02,816
Now, campers,
I know that camp is tough,
208
00:08:02,941 --> 00:08:04,776
but you have to believe
that you can do it,
209
00:08:04,902 --> 00:08:06,570
and you have to know that
until you drop the weight,
210
00:08:06,695 --> 00:08:07,738
you can't leave!
211
00:08:07,863 --> 00:08:09,239
There is no escape.
212
00:08:09,364 --> 00:08:11,450
So let's just all
put on our "try hard" helmets
213
00:08:11,575 --> 00:08:13,076
and accept
that the only way out of camp
214
00:08:13,202 --> 00:08:14,620
is to lose the weight!
215
00:08:14,745 --> 00:08:15,913
Ah, damn it.
216
00:08:20,709 --> 00:08:22,336
Thanks for coming,
everybody.
217
00:08:22,461 --> 00:08:24,505
What's all this about,
Mrs. Cartman?
218
00:08:24,630 --> 00:08:26,590
Is Eric having trouble
at his weight-management camp?
219
00:08:26,715 --> 00:08:27,674
We knew
he wouldn't make it.
220
00:08:27,799 --> 00:08:29,301
Oh, no,
quite the contrary.
221
00:08:29,426 --> 00:08:31,762
Eric showed up
and surprised me last night.
222
00:08:31,887 --> 00:08:33,472
Ladies and gentlemen,
223
00:08:33,597 --> 00:08:36,600
I would like to present to you
the new Eric Cartman.
224
00:08:36,725 --> 00:08:38,894
Hey,dudes!
225
00:08:39,019 --> 00:08:40,604
Whoa!
- I don't believe it.
226
00:08:40,729 --> 00:08:41,980
Believe it.
227
00:08:42,105 --> 00:08:44,066
He lost 40 pounds
at his fat camp.
228
00:08:44,191 --> 00:08:46,443
Eric,
that's fantastic, m'kay!
229
00:08:46,568 --> 00:08:48,862
Congratulations.
How do you feel?
230
00:08:48,987 --> 00:08:50,322
I feel awesome.
231
00:08:50,447 --> 00:08:52,366
What the hell did they do
with all the fat?
232
00:08:52,491 --> 00:08:54,618
There must've been enough
to last an Eskimo family months.
233
00:08:54,743 --> 00:08:56,161
You know, Kyle, there was
a time when your fat jokes
234
00:08:56,286 --> 00:08:57,579
would have gotten to me,
235
00:08:57,704 --> 00:08:59,331
but now I'm totally slim
and totally happy.
236
00:08:59,456 --> 00:09:00,791
In fact, I'd say
I'm a little bit trimmer
237
00:09:00,916 --> 00:09:02,543
than you, fat boy.
238
00:09:02,668 --> 00:09:04,127
Just kidding, Kyle.
239
00:09:04,253 --> 00:09:06,797
I made some healthy
tofu pudding to celebrate.
240
00:09:06,922 --> 00:09:07,881
Who wants some?
241
00:09:08,006 --> 00:09:09,716
Me, me, me, me!
242
00:09:09,841 --> 00:09:11,552
Dude, I don't know
if I'm gonna like
243
00:09:11,677 --> 00:09:13,011
the new Eric Cartman.
244
00:09:13,136 --> 00:09:14,137
Did you like the old one?
- Good point.
245
00:09:14,263 --> 00:09:16,306
And now back
to Jesus and Pals
246
00:09:16,431 --> 00:09:18,350
on South Park public access.
247
00:09:18,475 --> 00:09:19,810
Back to our
courageous story
248
00:09:19,935 --> 00:09:21,478
of a little boy's triumph
over obesity.
249
00:09:21,603 --> 00:09:23,397
Eric, yea, you found
250
00:09:23,522 --> 00:09:25,524
that the spirit of the Lord
inside you gave you strength.
251
00:09:25,649 --> 00:09:27,859
No, actually I found a diet
that totally works.
252
00:09:27,985 --> 00:09:29,695
A little boy
who overcame the odds.
253
00:09:29,820 --> 00:09:31,196
Let's hear it
for Eric Cartman!
254
00:09:33,699 --> 00:09:35,117
Well, our second guest
tonight
255
00:09:35,242 --> 00:09:36,743
is a young man
named Kenny McCormick,
256
00:09:36,868 --> 00:09:37,744
who is going to eat
dog crap.
257
00:09:37,869 --> 00:09:40,163
Kenny?
258
00:09:59,349 --> 00:10:00,267
Yes!
259
00:10:00,392 --> 00:10:02,394
Whoo-hoo! Yeah!
260
00:10:02,519 --> 00:10:04,521
Damn it, all I got
was a little golf clap.
261
00:10:04,646 --> 00:10:05,814
Thanks for coming
on the show, Kenny.
262
00:10:05,939 --> 00:10:07,024
Sure.
263
00:10:07,149 --> 00:10:08,191
Do it again!
Do it again!
264
00:10:08,317 --> 00:10:09,318
Hey, kid,
I'll give you 20 bucks
265
00:10:09,443 --> 00:10:10,902
to eat a really old
piece of bacon.
266
00:10:11,028 --> 00:10:12,195
This is ridiculous!
267
00:10:12,321 --> 00:10:13,780
So, Kenny,
268
00:10:13,905 --> 00:10:16,074
how did you discover
that you had this...talent?
269
00:10:16,199 --> 00:10:17,409
We thought of it, Jesus.
270
00:10:17,534 --> 00:10:18,869
I mean, Kenny's the one
that does it all,
271
00:10:18,994 --> 00:10:20,287
but we were the masterminds
of the whole thing.
272
00:10:20,412 --> 00:10:21,872
I can't say I approve
of this, my children.
273
00:10:21,997 --> 00:10:23,915
Huh? Why not?
274
00:10:24,041 --> 00:10:25,876
Because Kenny
is only doing things
275
00:10:26,001 --> 00:10:27,169
that anybody could do...
for money.
276
00:10:27,294 --> 00:10:29,379
He's a prostitute.
277
00:10:29,504 --> 00:10:31,465
I'll pay him 50 bucks
to eat someone else's vomit.
278
00:10:31,590 --> 00:10:32,841
Yeah, go for it!
Yeah!
279
00:10:32,966 --> 00:10:34,301
What's a prostitute?
- I don't know.
280
00:10:38,388 --> 00:10:39,848
Hello, there, children.
281
00:10:39,973 --> 00:10:40,849
Hey, Chef.
282
00:10:40,974 --> 00:10:42,100
Chef, what's a prostitute?
283
00:10:42,225 --> 00:10:44,144
Dag nabbit, children!
284
00:10:44,269 --> 00:10:45,771
How come every time
you come in here,
285
00:10:45,896 --> 00:10:48,398
you gotta be asking me questions
I shouldn't be answering?
286
00:10:48,523 --> 00:10:50,609
"Chef, what's a clitoris?
What'salesbian,Chef?
287
00:10:50,734 --> 00:10:52,402
How come they call it
a 'rim job,' Chef?"
288
00:10:52,527 --> 00:10:54,571
For once, can't you just
come in here and say,
289
00:10:54,696 --> 00:10:56,365
"Hi, Chef.
Nice day, isn't it?"
290
00:10:56,490 --> 00:10:57,491
Hi, Chef.
Nice day, isn't it?
291
00:10:57,616 --> 00:10:59,326
It sure is.
Thank you.
292
00:10:59,451 --> 00:11:01,036
Chef, what's a prostitute?
293
00:11:01,161 --> 00:11:02,788
Unh-unh. You children
are gonna get me in trouble
294
00:11:02,913 --> 00:11:04,122
with the principal again.
295
00:11:04,247 --> 00:11:05,666
Lunchtime!
I'm starved!
296
00:11:05,791 --> 00:11:06,667
Oh, my God!
297
00:11:06,792 --> 00:11:08,418
Eric?
- That's me.
298
00:11:08,543 --> 00:11:11,296
Chef was just about to tell us
what a prostitute is.
299
00:11:11,421 --> 00:11:13,757
Why do you need to know
what a prostitute is, anyway?
300
00:11:13,882 --> 00:11:15,842
Because Jesus told us
that Kenny's a prostitute.
301
00:11:15,967 --> 00:11:17,469
- Is he?
- Yeah, am I?
302
00:11:17,594 --> 00:11:19,721
Well, no, of course,
Kenny is not a prostitute.
303
00:11:19,846 --> 00:11:21,515
Why?
304
00:11:21,640 --> 00:11:24,351
Well, because, children,
a prostitute is someone who...
305
00:11:24,476 --> 00:11:26,311
You can pay
for certain services.
306
00:11:26,436 --> 00:11:28,063
Like what?
- Like keeping you company.
307
00:11:28,188 --> 00:11:29,981
Understand?
- No.
308
00:11:30,107 --> 00:11:32,484
You see, children, sometimes
a man needs to be with a woman,
309
00:11:32,609 --> 00:11:34,653
but sometimes,
when the lovin' is over,
310
00:11:34,778 --> 00:11:37,989
the woman just want to talk
and talk and talk and talk.
311
00:11:44,287 --> 00:11:46,998
Yes, it's true, children.
312
00:11:57,134 --> 00:12:00,470
Ladies and gentlemen,
Mr. James Taylor!
313
00:12:10,063 --> 00:12:11,648
Ohh!
314
00:12:14,943 --> 00:12:17,320
James Taylor, what the hell
you doing in here,
315
00:12:17,446 --> 00:12:19,322
singing about prostitutes
to the children?
316
00:12:19,448 --> 00:12:20,866
Get out of here!
317
00:12:22,367 --> 00:12:24,578
These children tricked me!
318
00:12:33,253 --> 00:12:34,838
Oh, there you are.
319
00:12:34,963 --> 00:12:36,506
Alright,
I got the goods --
320
00:12:36,631 --> 00:12:38,508
some candy bars, a few donuts,
and some beef gravy.
321
00:12:38,633 --> 00:12:40,469
Is anyone starting
to suspect anything?
322
00:12:40,594 --> 00:12:42,387
Nobody. Your mom even thinks
I'm a skinny you.
323
00:12:42,512 --> 00:12:44,264
Awesome.
Alright, throw it over.
324
00:12:44,389 --> 00:12:45,724
Uh-uh, one thing.
I want a bigger cut.
325
00:12:45,849 --> 00:12:47,058
What?
- I'm the one risking my ass,
326
00:12:47,184 --> 00:12:48,560
running around
in that stupid town
327
00:12:48,685 --> 00:12:49,644
pretending to be you
and collecting all the food
328
00:12:49,770 --> 00:12:51,480
to bring up here.
329
00:12:51,605 --> 00:12:52,773
All you have to do is sit back
and sell it to the fat kids!
330
00:12:52,898 --> 00:12:54,149
Alright, alright,
keep your voice down!
331
00:12:54,274 --> 00:12:55,317
I'll bump you
up to 10%.
332
00:12:55,442 --> 00:12:57,027
20%.
- Suck my balls, 20%!
333
00:12:57,152 --> 00:12:58,236
Fine.
Then I shall bid you good day.
334
00:12:58,361 --> 00:12:59,946
Wait, wait, wait, wait.
335
00:13:00,071 --> 00:13:01,490
Fine, 20%, but just remember
that your parents think
336
00:13:01,615 --> 00:13:02,908
you're at the drug rehab center
next door.
337
00:13:03,033 --> 00:13:04,576
You blow your cover,
and we're both screwed.
338
00:13:08,789 --> 00:13:11,208
You guys!
You have to check this tape out!
339
00:13:11,333 --> 00:13:13,418
Hey, we're trying to study.
Finals are tomorrow.
340
00:13:13,543 --> 00:13:14,961
No, dude,
check this out!
341
00:13:15,086 --> 00:13:17,088
It's this kid who does
all kinds of crazy stuff.
342
00:13:18,423 --> 00:13:19,925
Check it out!
343
00:13:20,050 --> 00:13:21,635
He jumped into a portapotty
at a construction site
344
00:13:21,760 --> 00:13:23,094
and stayed there
for four days!
345
00:13:23,220 --> 00:13:24,179
Whoa!
346
00:13:28,266 --> 00:13:29,851
Oh, gross!
- Sick!
347
00:13:29,976 --> 00:13:31,061
That's awesome!
348
00:13:31,186 --> 00:13:32,896
Hey, guys,
check this out!
349
00:13:35,565 --> 00:13:39,611
Get ready for THE KRAZY KENNY SHOW!!!
350
00:13:39,736 --> 00:13:41,279
and now here's your host,
351
00:13:41,404 --> 00:13:43,740
the kid who will do anything
to himself for money...
352
00:13:43,865 --> 00:13:47,452
Kra-a-a-a-zy Kenny!
353
00:13:48,870 --> 00:13:49,913
Kenny, through the past weeks,
354
00:13:50,038 --> 00:13:51,665
we've seen you eat mice,
355
00:13:51,790 --> 00:13:53,500
pretend to kill newborn babies
to shock their mothers,
356
00:13:53,625 --> 00:13:55,168
and wash your hair
with battery acid.
357
00:13:55,293 --> 00:13:56,753
The question
on all our minds is,
358
00:13:56,878 --> 00:13:58,296
what are you
gonna do next?
359
00:14:02,050 --> 00:14:04,427
Oh, ho ho!
You heard him, folks.
360
00:14:04,553 --> 00:14:07,764
Kenny is going to give
a sensual, full-body massage
361
00:14:07,889 --> 00:14:10,016
to his own grandfather!
362
00:14:10,141 --> 00:14:12,102
Oh, ho!
Whoo-hoo!
363
00:14:27,450 --> 00:14:29,286
Wow, this is Kenny's
best show ever!
364
00:14:29,411 --> 00:14:30,912
This is so juvenile.
365
00:14:31,037 --> 00:14:32,330
Cartman, what the hell's
the matter with you?
366
00:14:32,455 --> 00:14:34,165
Yeah, you've gotten lame since
you got skinny. What's up?
367
00:14:34,291 --> 00:14:35,500
Nothing.
368
00:14:35,625 --> 00:14:36,835
Can I have some licorice
to take home?
369
00:14:38,378 --> 00:14:40,255
Alright, campers,
good work today.
370
00:14:40,380 --> 00:14:41,798
Lights out,
and we'll see you tomorrow
371
00:14:41,923 --> 00:14:42,924
for more exercise
and proper diet.
372
00:14:44,551 --> 00:14:46,761
All "beddy-byes"
for the night, are they?
373
00:14:46,887 --> 00:14:48,555
I don't know what
we're doing wrong, Susan.
374
00:14:48,680 --> 00:14:50,015
These kids aren't
losing the weight.
375
00:14:50,140 --> 00:14:51,850
We'll just have
to give them more time.
376
00:14:51,975 --> 00:14:53,351
They'll do it.
- They'll do it!
377
00:14:53,476 --> 00:14:54,853
They'll do it!
378
00:14:56,479 --> 00:14:58,106
Alright,
they're gone.
379
00:15:00,025 --> 00:15:02,027
The Cartman Store
is open!
380
00:15:04,070 --> 00:15:07,032
Two donuts and a pack
of licorice, please.
381
00:15:07,157 --> 00:15:09,492
Two donuts
and a pack of licorice.
382
00:15:09,618 --> 00:15:10,952
Hello, tony.
The usual?
383
00:15:14,915 --> 00:15:16,207
Why are you crying, Chad?
384
00:15:16,333 --> 00:15:18,209
'Cause I'm always
gonna be fat.
385
00:15:18,335 --> 00:15:21,004
I don't wanna eat no sweets,
but I can't control myself
386
00:15:21,129 --> 00:15:23,173
when they're right
in front of me like this.
387
00:15:24,716 --> 00:15:26,259
All my life,
I've been fat.
388
00:15:26,384 --> 00:15:27,844
I've been to seven camps,
389
00:15:27,969 --> 00:15:30,055
and I swore to my mama
that I'd lose the weight.
390
00:15:30,180 --> 00:15:33,016
I want to,
but I can't help myself.
391
00:15:35,685 --> 00:15:37,062
Hey, Chad.
392
00:15:37,187 --> 00:15:39,189
You know what you need?
You need a friend.
393
00:15:39,314 --> 00:15:40,732
I do?
394
00:15:40,857 --> 00:15:41,733
Yes...
395
00:15:41,858 --> 00:15:43,276
A chocolate friend.
396
00:15:45,570 --> 00:15:47,739
Mr. Candy Bar
doesn't judge you, Chad.
397
00:15:47,864 --> 00:15:50,200
Mr. Candy Bar likes you
just the way you are.
398
00:15:50,325 --> 00:15:52,285
Look at how yummy
and sweet he is.
399
00:15:57,040 --> 00:15:58,208
There you go.
400
00:15:58,333 --> 00:16:00,752
That'll just be $4.
401
00:16:04,631 --> 00:16:05,882
There you go.
402
00:16:06,007 --> 00:16:07,425
This week on pay-per-view,
403
00:16:07,550 --> 00:16:09,302
Krazy Kenny will crawl up
into a woman's uterus
404
00:16:09,427 --> 00:16:11,012
and stay there for six hours.
405
00:16:11,137 --> 00:16:12,847
Don't miss
this once-in-a-lifetime event.
406
00:16:12,973 --> 00:16:13,890
Order now!
407
00:16:15,934 --> 00:16:17,185
Alright, so we're back
408
00:16:17,310 --> 00:16:18,436
talking to three
competing celebrities:
409
00:16:18,561 --> 00:16:20,188
Tom Green, Johnny Knoxville
from MTV's Jackass,
410
00:16:20,313 --> 00:16:21,940
and Krazy Kenny.
- Hey, Howard.
411
00:16:22,065 --> 00:16:23,233
Krazy Kenny is here
to promote
412
00:16:23,358 --> 00:16:24,901
his pay-per-view special
this week,
413
00:16:25,026 --> 00:16:27,946
where he will crawl up
into a bus driver's uterus
414
00:16:28,071 --> 00:16:29,239
and stay there
for six hours.
415
00:16:29,364 --> 00:16:30,699
Wow.
416
00:16:30,824 --> 00:16:32,450
Now, some people think
that all you guys do
417
00:16:32,575 --> 00:16:34,327
is perform sick
and disgusting acts
418
00:16:34,452 --> 00:16:36,371
for shock value and money,
which makes you whores.
419
00:16:36,496 --> 00:16:38,373
But I'd like
to prove them wrong,
420
00:16:38,498 --> 00:16:41,710
so what I'm gonna do
is offer each of you $50,000
421
00:16:41,835 --> 00:16:43,294
to give me oral sex
right now.
422
00:16:43,420 --> 00:16:44,379
I'm in.
- Me too.
423
00:16:44,504 --> 00:16:45,588
- And me.
- Oh!
424
00:16:45,714 --> 00:16:46,506
Fine, I'll do it
for 40, then.
425
00:16:46,631 --> 00:16:47,674
30
- 20.
426
00:16:47,799 --> 00:16:49,426
10 bucks.
427
00:16:49,551 --> 00:16:50,343
Ooh, the kid says
he'll do it for 10 bucks.
428
00:16:50,468 --> 00:16:51,594
Damn it, I'm out.
- Me too.
429
00:16:51,720 --> 00:16:52,721
I guess he is
the biggest whore.
430
00:16:52,846 --> 00:16:53,763
Alright let's
get going, then.
431
00:16:53,888 --> 00:16:54,681
Can we cut the cameras?
432
00:16:56,433 --> 00:16:58,226
And we're gonna reach
for the sky...
433
00:16:58,351 --> 00:17:00,186
and down to the ground.
434
00:17:00,311 --> 00:17:01,813
and up to the sky.
435
00:17:04,399 --> 00:17:05,900
and down to the ground.
436
00:17:06,026 --> 00:17:08,153
Please, Mr. Sanders.
- No, I have had it!
437
00:17:08,278 --> 00:17:09,612
What's happening?
438
00:17:09,738 --> 00:17:11,114
Horace's parents
want to take him home.
439
00:17:11,239 --> 00:17:12,907
Oh, but he's not
ready yet.
440
00:17:13,033 --> 00:17:14,868
Look at what
you've done to my boy!
441
00:17:14,993 --> 00:17:17,412
You told horace that he was
responsible for his weight.
442
00:17:17,537 --> 00:17:19,789
You made him believe that
with exercise and proper diet,
443
00:17:19,914 --> 00:17:21,124
he could be thin,
444
00:17:21,249 --> 00:17:23,293
when we told you
that it was his genetics.
445
00:17:23,418 --> 00:17:24,836
They can lose the weight
if they try.
446
00:17:24,961 --> 00:17:26,087
Look at these kids!
447
00:17:26,212 --> 00:17:27,630
They're not getting
any thinner!
448
00:17:27,756 --> 00:17:28,715
Your camp is a fraud.
449
00:17:28,840 --> 00:17:30,258
You need to accept
the fact
450
00:17:30,383 --> 00:17:32,635
that most fat people
are just genetically fat.
451
00:17:32,761 --> 00:17:34,679
Please, sir, if you
give us one more week--
452
00:17:34,804 --> 00:17:35,722
Your time is up!
453
00:17:35,847 --> 00:17:37,307
Yeah, your time is up.
454
00:17:37,432 --> 00:17:39,309
And I'm going to call
all the other parents
455
00:17:39,434 --> 00:17:41,186
and tell them to come
claim their kids as well.
456
00:17:41,311 --> 00:17:42,729
Your camp was
a waste of time!
457
00:17:42,854 --> 00:17:44,397
But Dad, I--
- What?
458
00:17:46,566 --> 00:17:48,485
Nothing.
459
00:17:48,610 --> 00:17:49,527
We're in trouble, Rick.
460
00:17:53,073 --> 00:17:55,075
Alright, Ms. Crabtree,
is it comfortable enough?
461
00:17:55,200 --> 00:17:56,743
How long
have I gotta sit here?
462
00:17:56,868 --> 00:17:57,911
Six hours.
463
00:17:58,036 --> 00:17:59,245
Hell, I'll do six hours
464
00:17:59,370 --> 00:18:01,039
for the 500 bucks
you're paying me.
465
00:18:01,164 --> 00:18:02,749
Great.
- You guys, it's Kenny!
466
00:18:02,874 --> 00:18:04,417
He's been arrested
for prostitution in New York.
467
00:18:04,542 --> 00:18:05,627
For what?
468
00:18:05,752 --> 00:18:06,878
For giving Howard Stern
a hummer.
469
00:18:07,003 --> 00:18:08,588
What's a hummer?
- I don't know!
470
00:18:08,713 --> 00:18:10,381
All I know is, Kenny's in jail
for at least three months!
471
00:18:10,507 --> 00:18:11,674
Three months?
472
00:18:11,800 --> 00:18:12,634
But the pay-per-view
is tomorrow!
473
00:18:12,759 --> 00:18:14,010
I know!
474
00:18:16,179 --> 00:18:18,598
We've worked so hard,
come so close.
475
00:18:18,723 --> 00:18:19,974
Now we'll never see Kenny
476
00:18:20,100 --> 00:18:21,476
crawl up into
Ms. Crabtree's uterus.
477
00:18:21,601 --> 00:18:23,853
You know, maybe we've all
learned something here.
478
00:18:23,978 --> 00:18:25,313
I mean, we set Kenny up
479
00:18:25,438 --> 00:18:26,981
to further and further
himself each time,
480
00:18:27,107 --> 00:18:28,525
having to always
outdo himself.
481
00:18:28,650 --> 00:18:30,318
Now he's in jail
for being a whore,
482
00:18:30,443 --> 00:18:33,029
and perhaps, just perhaps,
we are to blame.
483
00:18:34,531 --> 00:18:36,116
Alright,
that does it!
484
00:18:36,241 --> 00:18:38,326
This has been bothering
the hell out of me.
485
00:18:38,451 --> 00:18:40,537
I knew it!
You're not Cartman at all!
486
00:18:40,662 --> 00:18:41,454
Uh-oh.
487
00:18:46,501 --> 00:18:47,961
Well, we've seen him do
488
00:18:48,086 --> 00:18:49,671
just about every disgusting
thing in the book,
489
00:18:49,796 --> 00:18:51,631
and today,
live on pay-per-view,
490
00:18:51,756 --> 00:18:54,217
Krazy Kenny is going to crawl
into a woman's uterus
491
00:18:54,342 --> 00:18:55,969
for six hours!
492
00:18:57,971 --> 00:18:59,681
Well, Ms. Crabtree,
your cervix has been dilated,
493
00:18:59,806 --> 00:19:01,141
your womb equipped
with oxygen.
494
00:19:01,266 --> 00:19:02,142
How do you feel?
495
00:19:02,267 --> 00:19:03,768
I feel great!
496
00:19:03,893 --> 00:19:05,478
I haven't had this much
attention paid to my cooch
497
00:19:05,603 --> 00:19:07,147
since I was 16!
498
00:19:07,272 --> 00:19:08,690
Hooray!
499
00:19:08,815 --> 00:19:10,150
Well, let's bring out
the man of the hour.
500
00:19:10,275 --> 00:19:11,901
You know him as--
501
00:19:12,026 --> 00:19:13,862
Don't worry, dude,
you're gonna do great.
502
00:19:13,987 --> 00:19:15,155
No way.
I'm not doing this.
503
00:19:15,280 --> 00:19:16,739
Oh, you're doing it,
504
00:19:16,865 --> 00:19:18,199
or else we're gonna bust
your whole scheme wide-open
505
00:19:18,324 --> 00:19:19,617
and tell your mom
you haven't actually been
506
00:19:19,742 --> 00:19:20,952
at your drug rehab
this whole time.
507
00:19:21,077 --> 00:19:22,537
But this isn't fair!
- Deal, druggie.
508
00:19:24,622 --> 00:19:26,708
And here he is,
Kenny McCormick!
509
00:19:34,674 --> 00:19:35,842
We can watch him
on the monitors.
510
00:19:35,967 --> 00:19:38,469
How you doing in there, Kenny?
511
00:19:38,595 --> 00:19:41,306
That's my boy.
512
00:19:41,431 --> 00:19:42,682
Good-bye, Chad.
513
00:19:42,807 --> 00:19:44,559
We'll be wanting a refund,
naturally.
514
00:19:44,684 --> 00:19:46,728
Naturally.
- Good-bye, Alice.
515
00:19:46,853 --> 00:19:48,438
Good-bye.
Thank you.
516
00:19:48,563 --> 00:19:50,273
Oh, don't thank us.
We failed you.
517
00:19:50,398 --> 00:19:52,692
65, 66, 67...
518
00:19:52,817 --> 00:19:55,236
Wait a second.
This isn't right.
519
00:19:55,361 --> 00:19:56,946
Hmm?
Hmm?
520
00:19:57,071 --> 00:19:58,907
It's time for me to be
responsible for my own actions.
521
00:19:59,032 --> 00:20:01,743
Mom, Dad, we've been eating
candy this whole time.
522
00:20:01,868 --> 00:20:03,953
Eric Cartman's been
sneaking in junk food.
523
00:20:04,078 --> 00:20:06,039
Eh, shut up,
you heif, Chad.
524
00:20:06,164 --> 00:20:07,415
No, he's right.
525
00:20:07,540 --> 00:20:08,499
The counselors
been doing a good job.
526
00:20:08,625 --> 00:20:09,709
We've just been
cheating.
527
00:20:09,834 --> 00:20:11,127
Yeah.
528
00:20:11,252 --> 00:20:12,545
I believe
I can lose the weight
529
00:20:12,670 --> 00:20:13,963
with exercise
and proper diet.
530
00:20:14,088 --> 00:20:15,632
I don't want
to make excuses no more.
531
00:20:15,757 --> 00:20:17,967
- Me neither!
- Yeah!
532
00:20:18,092 --> 00:20:20,470
If you take us back,
we promise we won't cheat.
533
00:20:20,595 --> 00:20:22,722
Well, it's alright with me.
Parents?
534
00:20:24,224 --> 00:20:25,225
Well, what the heck?
535
00:20:25,350 --> 00:20:26,643
Maybe when
you're all done,
536
00:20:26,768 --> 00:20:28,603
you can teach me
a thing or two, huh, son?
537
00:20:28,728 --> 00:20:30,730
You know,
you guys are right.
538
00:20:30,855 --> 00:20:33,107
I'm sick of being
the fat kid too.
539
00:20:33,233 --> 00:20:35,109
I've been making excuses
all my life,
540
00:20:35,235 --> 00:20:37,820
but I know deep down
that if I took responsibility
541
00:20:37,946 --> 00:20:40,114
and really tried hard,
if we all try together,
542
00:20:40,240 --> 00:20:42,075
we really can lose
the weight!
543
00:20:42,200 --> 00:20:44,035
Oh, no, not you.
You're not welcome here anymore.
544
00:20:44,160 --> 00:20:44,994
Yeah!
545
00:20:45,119 --> 00:20:47,288
What?
- Buh-bye.
546
00:20:49,040 --> 00:20:51,042
Well, screw you, fat-asses!
547
00:20:56,589 --> 00:20:59,676
4, 3, 2, 1!
548
00:20:59,801 --> 00:21:02,136
He did it!
Come on out, Kenny.
549
00:21:02,262 --> 00:21:05,723
You made it six hours, Kenny.
Come on out of there.
550
00:21:05,848 --> 00:21:08,309
Ms. Crabtree, maybe you
could give him a little push.
551
00:21:12,355 --> 00:21:15,024
Ew!
552
00:21:15,149 --> 00:21:16,401
He's dead.
553
00:21:16,526 --> 00:21:18,152
The pressure
must have killed him.
554
00:21:18,278 --> 00:21:20,863
I told you
I was a tight virgin flower!
555
00:21:20,989 --> 00:21:23,116
Oh, my God!
They killed Kenny...sort of.
556
00:21:23,241 --> 00:21:25,576
Yeah, they kind of killed
Kenny's...look-alike.
557
00:21:25,702 --> 00:21:27,328
You bastards!
558
00:21:27,453 --> 00:21:29,747
Well, he gave his life
for our amusement.
559
00:21:29,872 --> 00:21:31,708
One little boy who dared
to be different:
560
00:21:31,833 --> 00:21:36,462
let us never forget
Kenny McCormick.
561
00:21:36,587 --> 00:21:38,631
Who is that?
562
00:21:44,595 --> 00:21:47,223
Yes, it's true, children.
40453
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