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1
00:00:34,744 --> 00:00:36,704
Dude, what's your little
brother doing here?
2
00:00:36,829 --> 00:00:38,247
Ike is starting his
first day of kindergarten.
3
00:00:38,372 --> 00:00:39,749
But isn't he only
three years old?
4
00:00:39,874 --> 00:00:41,292
Yeah, but he's
some kind of genius
5
00:00:41,417 --> 00:00:42,793
so he's getting advanced
placement in kindergarten.
6
00:00:42,918 --> 00:00:44,378
I pooped my pants.
7
00:00:44,503 --> 00:00:46,172
But, dude, check out
my new Trapper Keeper.
8
00:00:46,297 --> 00:00:48,924
It has five different compartments for each
subject in school
9
00:00:49,050 --> 00:00:51,510
and it's all covered with
pictures from "Dawson's Creek".
- Cool!
10
00:00:51,635 --> 00:00:53,596
Hey dudes, check out
my sweet "Dawson's Creek"
Trapper Keeper
11
00:00:53,721 --> 00:00:56,724
Ultra-Keeper
Futura 2000.
12
00:00:56,849 --> 00:00:59,351
Yeah, well, it's got 10 different compartments for
every subject in school,
13
00:00:59,477 --> 00:01:01,145
electronic
pencil sharpener,
14
00:01:01,270 --> 00:01:04,106
four plastic bags with electronic zippers,
copy machine, fax,
15
00:01:04,231 --> 00:01:05,816
a better picture of Dawson's Creek on
the back than Kyle's.
16
00:01:05,941 --> 00:01:07,777
Flat screen TV and
of course, Onstar.
17
00:01:07,902 --> 00:01:10,071
Wow, cool.
- Godammit, Cartman!
18
00:01:10,196 --> 00:01:11,739
You only got that because
you knew my mom wouldn't
buy it for me!
19
00:01:11,864 --> 00:01:13,449
Oh, but you have
a Trapper Keep--
20
00:01:13,574 --> 00:01:14,992
oh, you got the little
"Crapper Keeper", didn't you?
21
00:01:15,117 --> 00:01:16,744
Well, at least your stupid
brother got a briefcase.
22
00:01:16,869 --> 00:01:18,788
He's going to kindergarten
because he's a genius.
23
00:01:18,913 --> 00:01:20,414
He's not a genius,
he's a little douche bag.
24
00:01:20,539 --> 00:01:21,916
I pooped my pants!
25
00:01:22,041 --> 00:01:23,918
He's smarter
than you, fat boy!
26
00:01:24,043 --> 00:01:25,294
I don't even know how you
made it to the fourth grade
after all the--
27
00:01:25,419 --> 00:01:27,213
Trapper Keeper, I need to
drown out my annoying friend,
28
00:01:27,338 --> 00:01:29,965
country, high volume.
29
00:01:33,219 --> 00:01:36,555
Nobody gives a crap about
your Trapper Keeper, Cartman!
30
00:01:42,812 --> 00:01:44,396
Ms. Crabtree!
31
00:01:44,522 --> 00:01:46,315
There's another creepy
homeless guy on the bus.
32
00:01:46,440 --> 00:01:47,942
Sit down
and shut up!
33
00:01:48,067 --> 00:01:49,276
But they smell
like pee!
34
00:01:49,401 --> 00:01:50,736
I am not
a homeless person.
35
00:01:50,861 --> 00:01:52,655
I am a new
fourth-grade student.
- You are?
36
00:01:52,780 --> 00:01:55,825
Yes, my name is Bill,
Bill Cosby.
37
00:01:55,950 --> 00:01:57,535
Aren't you a little old
to be in grade school?
38
00:01:57,660 --> 00:01:59,453
I was held back
10 hu-man grades--
39
00:01:59,578 --> 00:02:01,664
unh-I mean, grades.
40
00:02:01,789 --> 00:02:03,916
Do you companion friends
know Eric Cartman?
41
00:02:04,041 --> 00:02:04,959
Yeah, that's me.
42
00:02:05,084 --> 00:02:06,710
Eric Cartman?
43
00:02:06,836 --> 00:02:09,505
And you have a Dawson's Creek
Trapper Keeper Futura S-2000?
44
00:02:09,630 --> 00:02:11,173
Yeah, you already
know about it?
45
00:02:11,298 --> 00:02:13,509
Yes, yes, I do.
46
00:02:13,634 --> 00:02:16,637
Well, "nobody gives a crap about
your Trapper Keeper, Cartman."
47
00:02:16,762 --> 00:02:18,806
I'm gonna shove that thing
up your ass!
48
00:02:18,931 --> 00:02:20,474
Dude, do you really care
if Cartman has something
that's better than yours?
49
00:02:20,599 --> 00:02:22,101
No, I don't!
I don't care!
50
00:02:22,226 --> 00:02:24,311
Ooh, Kyle.
51
00:02:31,318 --> 00:02:33,154
Hey, there he is.
52
00:02:33,279 --> 00:02:36,115
That's the kid that's supposed
to be some kind of genius.
53
00:02:36,240 --> 00:02:39,410
Yeah, he's only three and
he's already in kindergarten.
54
00:02:39,535 --> 00:02:41,537
Come on.
55
00:02:41,662 --> 00:02:44,415
So, you think you're smarter
than the rest of us?
56
00:02:44,540 --> 00:02:47,001
You think you know more
about the world
57
00:02:47,126 --> 00:02:49,295
just because you're
only three and we're five?
58
00:02:49,420 --> 00:02:51,881
I'm go ba-ba.
59
00:02:52,006 --> 00:02:54,216
Okay, children,
let's take our seats.
60
00:02:54,341 --> 00:02:56,969
My name is Mr. Garrison,
61
00:02:57,094 --> 00:02:59,263
and I'm the new
kindergarten teacher.
62
00:02:59,388 --> 00:03:01,390
I used to be the
third-grade teacher,
63
00:03:01,515 --> 00:03:04,226
but I had a little
"nervous breakdown"
64
00:03:04,351 --> 00:03:06,145
and went into the mountains
where I lived off of
65
00:03:06,270 --> 00:03:08,606
"rat carcasses".
66
00:03:08,731 --> 00:03:12,401
But I'm all better now
and school was nice enough
to let me go on teaching...
67
00:03:12,526 --> 00:03:15,112
As long as it was
for kindergarten.
68
00:03:15,237 --> 00:03:17,031
But it's not
a demotion, no.
69
00:03:17,156 --> 00:03:19,158
I mean, just because a teacher
was teaching third grade
70
00:03:19,283 --> 00:03:20,659
and now is teaching
kindergarten--
71
00:03:20,784 --> 00:03:22,369
that's not
a demotion, is it?
72
00:03:22,494 --> 00:03:24,413
No, that's right,
it's not.
73
00:03:24,538 --> 00:03:26,373
Well, let's start with
roll call.
74
00:03:26,498 --> 00:03:28,417
Ah, let's see...
Filmore Anderson?
75
00:03:28,542 --> 00:03:29,543
Here.
76
00:03:29,668 --> 00:03:31,003
Sally Bans?
- Here.
77
00:03:31,128 --> 00:03:33,380
Alright,
Ike Broflovski?
78
00:03:33,505 --> 00:03:35,507
"Cookie Monster."
79
00:03:35,633 --> 00:03:38,052
Broflovski, I had your
older brother Kyle in my
third-grade class.
80
00:03:38,177 --> 00:03:40,804
He's a very smart kid,
I'm sure you are too.
81
00:03:40,930 --> 00:03:42,681
Well, that's bad news
for everybody else
82
00:03:42,806 --> 00:03:45,559
because I will be
grading you all on a curve.
83
00:03:49,980 --> 00:03:53,275
And so the other thing that
makes my Trapper Keeper
cooler than Kyle's
84
00:03:53,400 --> 00:03:56,195
is that it can add
any peripheral device
to itself automatically.
85
00:03:56,320 --> 00:03:58,572
I can take something as simple
as this calculator and--
86
00:03:58,697 --> 00:04:00,824
Trapper Keeper?
- Trapper Keeper active.
87
00:04:00,950 --> 00:04:02,326
Hybrid with "Wellington Bear"
calculator.
88
00:04:02,451 --> 00:04:03,994
Ready for hybrid.
89
00:04:04,119 --> 00:04:06,288
And now, I can use
Wellington Bear calculator too.
90
00:04:06,413 --> 00:04:07,539
Wow.
91
00:04:07,665 --> 00:04:09,667
May I hold your
Trapper Keeper?
92
00:04:09,792 --> 00:04:11,377
Uh, no, I'm afraid not,
Bill Cosby,
93
00:04:11,502 --> 00:04:13,754
because it is coded to
the prints on my fingers.
94
00:04:13,879 --> 00:04:15,172
If anybody but me
tries to hold it
95
00:04:15,297 --> 00:04:17,174
big metal spikes come out
and pierce through their hands.
96
00:04:17,299 --> 00:04:19,051
Oh, you're so full of
crap, Cartman!
97
00:04:19,176 --> 00:04:20,636
Metal spikes
will not come out!
98
00:04:20,761 --> 00:04:23,931
Oh really, then why don't
you hold it?
99
00:04:24,056 --> 00:04:25,849
Well, go on, Kyle,
100
00:04:25,975 --> 00:04:28,602
if it doesn't have
metal spikes, then hold it.
101
00:04:28,727 --> 00:04:30,145
Hold it.
- I'm gonna!
102
00:04:30,271 --> 00:04:32,064
Hold it.
- I will!
103
00:04:32,189 --> 00:04:34,984
And that's how the relationship
with my father sort of ended.
104
00:04:35,109 --> 00:04:37,152
There's still some sort of
skeletons in the closet,
105
00:04:37,278 --> 00:04:39,530
but things between us
are a little better.
106
00:04:39,655 --> 00:04:43,367
Okay, children, well now
it's time for us to elect
a class president.
107
00:04:43,492 --> 00:04:45,619
So first
we must pick nominees.
108
00:04:45,744 --> 00:04:47,871
Who would like to
nominate someone?
109
00:04:47,997 --> 00:04:51,834
I nominate Filmore because he's
the smartest kid in the class.
110
00:04:51,959 --> 00:04:54,878
Okay, Filmore, you'll be
our first nominee.
111
00:04:55,004 --> 00:04:56,338
And who else?
112
00:04:56,463 --> 00:04:57,798
Yes, Jenny.
113
00:04:57,923 --> 00:05:00,009
I gotta go doody.
114
00:05:00,134 --> 00:05:03,053
In a minute, Jenny--
who else wants to nominate
a class president?
115
00:05:03,178 --> 00:05:06,098
Oh, come on, you can't have
an election with just
one person running,
116
00:05:06,223 --> 00:05:07,766
what's the fun
in that?
117
00:05:07,891 --> 00:05:10,060
Ike, how about you,
you're a genius?
118
00:05:10,185 --> 00:05:11,854
No.
119
00:05:11,979 --> 00:05:16,150
Okay, our second nominee
is "Ike... the Genius".
120
00:05:16,275 --> 00:05:19,153
Okay, children, now we'll hear
briefly from each nominee.
121
00:05:19,278 --> 00:05:22,031
Filmore, why don't you
go first.
122
00:05:22,156 --> 00:05:26,452
If I'm elected class president,
I'll call for bigger chairs.
123
00:05:26,577 --> 00:05:30,331
And on fridays I'll add
two minutes to nap time.
124
00:05:30,456 --> 00:05:31,290
Thank you.
125
00:05:31,415 --> 00:05:33,167
Very enthralling.
126
00:05:33,292 --> 00:05:35,627
Okay, Ike,
how about you?
127
00:05:35,753 --> 00:05:39,048
Cookie Monster... Eyes.
128
00:05:39,173 --> 00:05:42,718
Well, this is gonna be
a tough one, kids.
129
00:05:42,843 --> 00:05:45,137
Oh no, dude, here comes
that weird new kid.
130
00:05:45,262 --> 00:05:47,514
Oh, hello, Eric, can I be
your hu-man friend?
131
00:05:47,639 --> 00:05:49,683
Unh-I mean, friend.
132
00:05:49,808 --> 00:05:51,810
I don't know, dude,
I'm not supposed to have
male friends that are over 30.
133
00:05:51,935 --> 00:05:53,937
I kinda got screwed
on that once.
134
00:05:54,063 --> 00:05:56,440
Please, we can have fun
and play games like
hu-man four square.
135
00:05:56,565 --> 00:05:59,026
I mean, four square.
136
00:05:59,151 --> 00:06:01,487
Dude, you can't just ask
to be somebody's friend
and be their friend!
137
00:06:01,612 --> 00:06:02,988
It doesn't
work that way.
138
00:06:03,113 --> 00:06:05,032
If you want my friendship
you have to pay me.
139
00:06:05,157 --> 00:06:06,408
Oh, I see.
140
00:06:06,533 --> 00:06:08,160
Alright, I'll pay
100 galga stones--
141
00:06:08,285 --> 00:06:11,205
I mean, human dollars,
I mean, dollars.
142
00:06:11,330 --> 00:06:12,790
Okay, that's cool.
143
00:06:12,915 --> 00:06:14,500
Can we play some
hu-man tether ball?
144
00:06:14,625 --> 00:06:15,959
Alright.
145
00:06:16,085 --> 00:06:17,461
Pretty sweet, you guys,
146
00:06:17,586 --> 00:06:18,754
getting 100 bucks to play
tether ball with some--
147
00:06:18,879 --> 00:06:19,797
serve!
- Ah!
148
00:06:19,922 --> 00:06:21,423
Got it!
149
00:06:21,548 --> 00:06:23,092
Dude, he's running off
with your Trapper Keeper!
150
00:06:23,217 --> 00:06:24,676
Wha-huh!
151
00:06:24,802 --> 00:06:26,595
You son of a bitch!
152
00:06:26,720 --> 00:06:27,846
Wait a minute,
lucky for me
153
00:06:27,971 --> 00:06:29,848
I have my Trapper Keeper
homing device.
154
00:06:29,973 --> 00:06:31,392
What the hell
just happened?
155
00:06:31,517 --> 00:06:34,686
Damn, I thought fourth grade
was gonna be different.
156
00:06:34,812 --> 00:06:39,650
So that's six votes for Filmore
and six votes for Ike.
157
00:06:39,775 --> 00:06:42,820
And the last vote is for...
158
00:06:42,945 --> 00:06:48,200
Ah, let's see, Flora,
I can't tell who you voted for.
159
00:06:48,325 --> 00:06:50,202
You've got the winning vote,
Flora, who'd you pick?
160
00:06:50,327 --> 00:06:51,703
I don't know.
161
00:06:51,829 --> 00:06:53,414
Flora, you have to pick one,
Filmore or Ike.
162
00:06:53,539 --> 00:06:56,750
Um, I vote for...
I don't know.
163
00:06:56,875 --> 00:06:58,710
Oh great,
Flora's undecided.
164
00:06:58,836 --> 00:07:00,921
Well, you're just gonna have to
sit there Flora
165
00:07:01,046 --> 00:07:02,840
and think about it until
you come up with an answer.
166
00:07:02,965 --> 00:07:04,174
Okay.
167
00:07:04,299 --> 00:07:05,551
Flora, just say
you vote for Filmore
168
00:07:05,676 --> 00:07:07,386
so we can
all go home.
169
00:07:07,511 --> 00:07:08,846
Um...
170
00:07:08,971 --> 00:07:10,973
No, you want Ike
to be president.
171
00:07:11,098 --> 00:07:12,599
We're gonna be here
all night.
172
00:07:12,724 --> 00:07:14,560
Why don't you guys
just concede?
173
00:07:14,685 --> 00:07:15,727
Yeah!
Yeah!
174
00:07:15,853 --> 00:07:16,854
Why don't you
just concede?
175
00:07:16,979 --> 00:07:18,272
Yeah!
176
00:07:18,397 --> 00:07:19,440
Filmore!
Filmore!
Filmore!
Filmore!
177
00:07:19,565 --> 00:07:21,483
I want Filmore to be--
I want Ike--
178
00:07:21,608 --> 00:07:23,819
Oh, for Christ's sakes,
you're all acting like
a bunch of kids!
179
00:07:25,946 --> 00:07:28,657
Turn left here,
we're getting close!
Get your gun ready.
180
00:07:28,782 --> 00:07:31,368
Eric, I'm not gonna shoot
anybody for taking
your school folder.
181
00:07:31,493 --> 00:07:32,995
It was not a school folder,
182
00:07:33,120 --> 00:07:34,830
it was a Dawson's Creek
Trapper Keeper Futura S-2000!
183
00:07:34,955 --> 00:07:36,457
And if-there he is!
184
00:07:36,582 --> 00:07:37,291
Ah!
185
00:07:37,416 --> 00:07:38,375
Gotcha!
186
00:07:38,500 --> 00:07:39,418
Hey!
187
00:07:39,543 --> 00:07:41,378
Aah!
188
00:07:48,594 --> 00:07:49,928
Whoa, dude.
189
00:07:55,100 --> 00:07:57,853
Oh, try to take my
Trapper Keeper, will you?
190
00:07:57,978 --> 00:08:00,022
Please, you do not
understand.
191
00:08:00,147 --> 00:08:01,857
Book him, Barbrady,
another job well done.
192
00:08:01,982 --> 00:08:04,401
That Trapper Keeper
has to be destroyed.
193
00:08:04,526 --> 00:08:06,612
Why are you so obsessed
with Cartman's Trapper
Keeper, Bill Cosby?
194
00:08:06,737 --> 00:08:08,197
Bill Cosby!
195
00:08:08,322 --> 00:08:11,909
No, listen to me!
I am not really Bill Cosby.
196
00:08:12,034 --> 00:08:14,995
My name is BSM-471.
197
00:08:15,120 --> 00:08:18,457
I am a cyborg engineered by
hu-mans from the year 2034.
198
00:08:18,582 --> 00:08:20,417
Well, I knew you
weren't Bill Cosby.
199
00:08:20,542 --> 00:08:22,336
I have come to destroy
that Trapper Keeper
200
00:08:22,461 --> 00:08:24,421
because it was the Dawson's
Creek Trapper Keeper
201
00:08:24,546 --> 00:08:27,174
that belongs to
an Eric Cartman in South Park
202
00:08:27,299 --> 00:08:30,385
which three years from now
manifests itself into an
omnipotent super being
203
00:08:30,511 --> 00:08:32,179
and destroys
all of hu-manity.
204
00:08:32,304 --> 00:08:34,765
In the year 2004,
205
00:08:34,890 --> 00:08:38,602
a hybrid assimilating computer
linked with a satellite
uplink computer.
206
00:08:38,727 --> 00:08:40,270
From there, it was able to
slowly take over
207
00:08:40,395 --> 00:08:42,022
every computer in the world.
208
00:08:42,147 --> 00:08:43,774
It became stronger
and stronger
209
00:08:43,899 --> 00:08:47,319
until, by the year 2018,
it broke away from mankind
210
00:08:47,444 --> 00:08:50,030
and there was nothing
the hu-mans could do.
211
00:08:50,155 --> 00:08:52,866
It wasn't long before
Mighty Trapper Keeper
212
00:08:52,991 --> 00:08:55,410
started to destroy everything
it saw as useless...
213
00:08:55,536 --> 00:08:57,871
Including humans.
214
00:08:57,996 --> 00:08:59,915
The nations tried everything
to stop it--
215
00:09:00,040 --> 00:09:02,000
nuclear devices,
seismic missiles--
216
00:09:02,125 --> 00:09:03,835
but nothing worked.
217
00:09:03,961 --> 00:09:06,588
The hu-mans built robots of
their own, whole armies of them.
218
00:09:06,713 --> 00:09:10,092
But nothing was strong enough
to stop Trapper Keeper.
219
00:09:12,135 --> 00:09:15,013
And so finally,
the hu-mans decided to send
220
00:09:15,138 --> 00:09:17,391
one of their robots
into the past to destroy
the Trapper Keeper
221
00:09:17,516 --> 00:09:19,309
before it
even got started.
222
00:09:19,434 --> 00:09:21,311
Wow,
that's amazing.
223
00:09:21,436 --> 00:09:23,855
Man, I guess sometimes
we let our technology and
stuff grow too fast.
224
00:09:23,981 --> 00:09:25,691
What do you think,
Officer Barbrady?
225
00:09:25,816 --> 00:09:27,401
Huh-oh, I'm sorry,
I wasn't listening.
226
00:09:27,526 --> 00:09:32,072
And so Eric, now you
see why we must destroy
your Trapper Keeper.
227
00:09:32,197 --> 00:09:35,284
You guys, did I mention
that it has a pencil sharpener
228
00:09:35,409 --> 00:09:37,035
and a crayon sharpener?
229
00:09:37,160 --> 00:09:38,787
Cartman, it takes over the world
and destroys all of humanity!
230
00:09:38,912 --> 00:09:40,622
What would you guys
have me do, huh?
231
00:09:40,747 --> 00:09:42,416
Walk around with just
a plain old trapper
keeper like Kyle's,
232
00:09:42,541 --> 00:09:44,126
is that what you want?
- Yes!
233
00:09:44,251 --> 00:09:46,003
Godammit!
Here, take it!
234
00:09:46,128 --> 00:09:47,504
Do you want
my heart as well?
235
00:09:47,629 --> 00:09:50,257
You'll find it on the
bottom of your shoes!
236
00:09:54,261 --> 00:09:55,971
I decided.
237
00:09:56,096 --> 00:09:57,556
Oh, thank God, Flora.
238
00:09:57,681 --> 00:09:59,016
Alright,
who do you vote for?
239
00:09:59,141 --> 00:10:00,809
Umm, Ike.
240
00:10:00,934 --> 00:10:02,352
Yay!
Yay!
241
00:10:02,477 --> 00:10:04,896
Okay, so then the total
is six votes for Filmore
242
00:10:05,022 --> 00:10:06,565
and now seven votes
for Ike.
243
00:10:06,690 --> 00:10:08,358
Ike is the new
class president.
244
00:10:08,483 --> 00:10:10,319
We want a recount.
- What?
245
00:10:10,444 --> 00:10:12,321
Recount, recount,
recount...
246
00:10:12,446 --> 00:10:14,740
Oh, of all the juvenile things
I've ever heard--
247
00:10:14,865 --> 00:10:17,075
You lost, Filmore,
don't be such a baby!
248
00:10:19,745 --> 00:10:22,080
Alright, alright,
I'll count up the ballots again.
249
00:10:22,205 --> 00:10:25,417
Okay, we had
one vote for Filmore...
250
00:10:25,542 --> 00:10:29,630
And this time I again
get six votes for Filmore
and seven votes for Ike.
251
00:10:29,755 --> 00:10:31,632
Count 'em again.
- Yeah!
252
00:10:31,757 --> 00:10:34,676
No, children,
I've recounted 106 times now
253
00:10:34,801 --> 00:10:36,762
and I keep coming up with
seven to six!
254
00:10:36,887 --> 00:10:38,889
Except in the one instance where
it came out seven to five
255
00:10:39,014 --> 00:10:40,849
and one where it came out
12 to 14.
256
00:10:40,974 --> 00:10:43,435
It's over!
Ike is class president!
257
00:10:43,560 --> 00:10:46,063
Wait, there's still
the absent kid.
258
00:10:46,188 --> 00:10:48,315
Yeah, Carlos is absent,
we have to wait for his vote.
259
00:10:48,440 --> 00:10:50,025
Oh, will you grow up?!
260
00:10:50,150 --> 00:10:53,153
Absent kids count,
absent kids count,
absent kids...
261
00:10:53,278 --> 00:10:55,322
Jesus, alright,
we'll wait for tomorrow
262
00:10:55,447 --> 00:10:59,326
so the absent kid can cast
his vote, now go home!
263
00:11:02,412 --> 00:11:05,040
Good morning, hu-mans.
- Hey, Bill Cosby.
264
00:11:05,165 --> 00:11:07,167
I have successfully destroyed
Eric Cartman's Trapper Keeper.
265
00:11:07,292 --> 00:11:08,835
I broke it apart,
266
00:11:08,960 --> 00:11:10,629
dipped the motherboards in acid,
burnt the memory chips
267
00:11:10,754 --> 00:11:14,091
and sent the wiring
to the four corners of Canada.
- That should do it.
268
00:11:14,216 --> 00:11:16,927
So what are you gonna do
with your crappy robot life
now, Bill Cosby?
269
00:11:17,052 --> 00:11:18,762
Well, that is a problem
that is causing me some
disconcern-ment.
270
00:11:18,887 --> 00:11:21,098
I am still here,
but I shouldn't be here.
271
00:11:21,223 --> 00:11:23,225
If Trapper Keeper
has been stopped,
then I should not exist,
272
00:11:23,350 --> 00:11:24,643
but here I am.
273
00:11:24,768 --> 00:11:25,936
Something is still
not right.
274
00:11:26,061 --> 00:11:27,396
Hey, dudes.
275
00:11:27,521 --> 00:11:28,355
Cartman, you still got
a Trapper Keeper!
276
00:11:28,480 --> 00:11:30,482
Yeah, I'm a genius.
277
00:11:30,607 --> 00:11:32,442
Last night I went home
and told my mom that
I lost the last one.
278
00:11:32,567 --> 00:11:34,403
Then I cried and I cried,
and finally she felt so bad
279
00:11:34,528 --> 00:11:36,238
that she took me to the store
and bought me a new one.
280
00:11:36,363 --> 00:11:37,447
So everything worked out.
281
00:11:37,572 --> 00:11:38,865
Oh, no!
282
00:11:38,990 --> 00:11:40,409
Cartman, you dumb ass!
You can't get a new one.
283
00:11:40,534 --> 00:11:42,327
Why the hell not?
284
00:11:42,452 --> 00:11:44,204
Because if your Trapper Keeper
takes over the world,
285
00:11:44,329 --> 00:11:46,206
then maybe it was this Trapper
Keeper and not the one before.
286
00:11:46,331 --> 00:11:48,291
So then you guys burnt
my last one for no reason.
287
00:11:48,417 --> 00:11:50,127
We will have to destroy
this Trapper Keeper.
288
00:11:50,252 --> 00:11:52,462
But I don't think I can get
my mom to buy me another one.
289
00:11:52,587 --> 00:11:55,090
Don't you get it?
You can't have any
Trapper Keepers, fat ass!
290
00:11:55,215 --> 00:11:56,508
Oh, that is bull crap!
291
00:11:56,633 --> 00:11:58,051
And you know
what I think?
292
00:11:58,176 --> 00:12:00,220
I think this whole thing
is a setup!
293
00:12:00,345 --> 00:12:02,264
That's right, Kyle got this guy
to say he's a robot
from the future
294
00:12:02,389 --> 00:12:04,307
just because he's jealous
of my Trapper Keeper.
295
00:12:04,433 --> 00:12:05,767
And you know what else?
296
00:12:05,892 --> 00:12:07,477
Screw you guys,
I'm going home.
297
00:12:07,602 --> 00:12:08,770
Cartman!
298
00:12:08,895 --> 00:12:10,355
No-screw you guys.
Home.
299
00:12:10,480 --> 00:12:11,481
Well, that does it.
300
00:12:11,606 --> 00:12:12,774
Hey, what are you doing?
301
00:12:12,899 --> 00:12:13,775
I'm afraid I have
no other choice.
302
00:12:13,900 --> 00:12:15,610
For the sake of humanity
I have to kill him.
303
00:12:15,736 --> 00:12:17,028
Oh, okay.
- Yeah, that's fine.
304
00:12:17,154 --> 00:12:18,613
No, wait!
- What?
305
00:12:18,739 --> 00:12:19,990
Can I do it?
306
00:12:20,115 --> 00:12:21,491
Oh well, I suppose.
307
00:12:21,616 --> 00:12:23,118
Sweet-kiss your ass
good-bye, fat boy!
308
00:12:23,243 --> 00:12:24,995
Wait, perhaps
there is another way.
309
00:12:25,120 --> 00:12:26,705
If you could take me to
where Eric Cartman lives,
310
00:12:26,830 --> 00:12:28,790
I could try reasoning
with his human mother.
311
00:12:28,915 --> 00:12:30,375
Well, yeah, or we could
just kill him.
312
00:12:30,500 --> 00:12:31,668
Yeah, that'd be faster.
He's right there.
313
00:12:31,793 --> 00:12:33,962
I'm afraid I can't.
314
00:12:34,087 --> 00:12:36,423
I think I'm actually
starting to feel what you
humans call "compassion".
315
00:12:36,548 --> 00:12:37,799
It is an
amazing feeling.
316
00:12:37,924 --> 00:12:39,092
Ah!
Ah!
317
00:12:39,217 --> 00:12:41,052
Alright, children,
as you know,
318
00:12:41,178 --> 00:12:43,764
we've been waiting for
the absent kid's ballot
to come in.
319
00:12:43,889 --> 00:12:45,307
Well, his mother
was nice enough
320
00:12:45,432 --> 00:12:46,808
to bring him in
from the hospital
321
00:12:46,933 --> 00:12:48,393
so that he could
cast his vote.
322
00:12:48,518 --> 00:12:50,228
Mrs. Harris.
323
00:12:53,815 --> 00:12:55,734
Thank you
very much, Billy.
324
00:12:55,859 --> 00:12:57,402
Don't forget to
pick up your lung.
325
00:12:57,527 --> 00:13:01,406
Alright, the absent kid's
ballot is for... Filmore.
326
00:13:01,531 --> 00:13:02,949
Yay!
Yay!
327
00:13:04,451 --> 00:13:05,619
Wait one minute!
328
00:13:05,744 --> 00:13:07,496
Oh Jesus-
tap-dancing-Christ.
329
00:13:07,621 --> 00:13:09,206
I think the ballots
were misleading.
330
00:13:09,331 --> 00:13:11,124
Some kids didn't understand
who they were voting for.
331
00:13:11,249 --> 00:13:13,168
There's a box next to
Filmore's name
332
00:13:13,293 --> 00:13:14,628
and a box next to Ike's.
333
00:13:14,753 --> 00:13:15,587
What's not to
understand?
334
00:13:15,712 --> 00:13:17,088
You're just saying that
335
00:13:17,214 --> 00:13:18,924
'cause you know
you're gonna lose now.
336
00:13:19,049 --> 00:13:21,051
No, I'm saying that
because you're
a booger-face!
337
00:13:21,176 --> 00:13:22,803
Well, just you wait,
338
00:13:22,928 --> 00:13:25,597
'cause my famous aunt is
on her way right now.
339
00:13:25,722 --> 00:13:27,098
Who's your famous aunt?
340
00:13:27,224 --> 00:13:29,476
My Aunt Rosie,
Rosie O'Donnell.
341
00:13:29,601 --> 00:13:32,020
Your Aunt Rosie O'Donnell
is coming here?
342
00:13:32,145 --> 00:13:34,606
Yeah, she's very active
in politics.
343
00:13:34,731 --> 00:13:36,358
She's gonna set
all of this straight.
344
00:13:36,483 --> 00:13:38,360
Oh, no.
345
00:13:42,239 --> 00:13:43,782
Recharging.
346
00:13:43,907 --> 00:13:45,909
Sweet. You're so cool,
Trapper Keeper,
347
00:13:46,034 --> 00:13:47,494
I would never let
those assholes take you away.
348
00:13:51,248 --> 00:13:55,377
Trapper Keeper
ready to insorb.
349
00:13:55,502 --> 00:13:56,628
Oh, cool.
350
00:13:56,753 --> 00:13:59,172
Trapper Keeper merging.
351
00:13:59,297 --> 00:14:00,423
Whoa.
352
00:14:04,553 --> 00:14:06,596
And so you see,
Ms. Cart-man,
353
00:14:06,721 --> 00:14:08,682
you cannot buy your son Eric
another Trapper Keeper.
354
00:14:08,807 --> 00:14:10,725
Not now, not ever!
355
00:14:10,851 --> 00:14:12,769
Right, because it will
hybrid with all those
other processors
356
00:14:12,894 --> 00:14:15,313
and generate a whole new era
of technological darkness.
357
00:14:15,438 --> 00:14:16,857
Correct.
358
00:14:16,982 --> 00:14:19,025
Well, I certainly won't
buy him any more then, Bill.
359
00:14:19,150 --> 00:14:20,819
Good, now all
that is left to do
360
00:14:20,944 --> 00:14:22,529
is destroy the Trapper Keeper
Eric has now.
361
00:14:22,654 --> 00:14:23,697
Where is he?
362
00:14:23,822 --> 00:14:25,323
In his room.
363
00:14:25,448 --> 00:14:27,701
But, why don't I show you
the rest of the house first.
364
00:14:27,826 --> 00:14:29,077
Uh-oh.
- Here we go again.
365
00:14:29,202 --> 00:14:30,537
Come this way, Billy.
366
00:14:30,662 --> 00:14:32,289
Well come on,
let's go upstairs
367
00:14:32,414 --> 00:14:34,291
and get Cartman's
Trapper Keeper ourselves.
368
00:14:34,416 --> 00:14:35,625
Kyle is just jealous
of you, Trapper Keeper.
369
00:14:35,750 --> 00:14:37,377
You kick ass!
370
00:14:40,589 --> 00:14:43,383
Open up, Cartman, we're
taking your Trapper Keeper.
371
00:14:48,138 --> 00:14:49,472
Trapper Keeper
ready to insorb.
372
00:14:49,598 --> 00:14:51,057
Heh.
373
00:14:51,182 --> 00:14:52,559
Dammit, Cartman,
open up!
374
00:14:52,684 --> 00:14:55,145
Trapper Keeper
ready for hybrid.
375
00:14:55,270 --> 00:14:58,148
Oh sweet, what's it gonna
hybrid with now?
376
00:14:58,273 --> 00:15:00,150
Cartman, you might
as well open up,
377
00:15:00,275 --> 00:15:01,735
we're just gonna have Bill Cosby
bust the door down
378
00:15:01,860 --> 00:15:03,695
after he finishes having sex
with your mom!
379
00:15:05,113 --> 00:15:06,281
Cartman?
380
00:15:06,406 --> 00:15:07,324
Ahh!
381
00:15:09,284 --> 00:15:10,869
He's not gonna open it,
break it down.
382
00:15:10,994 --> 00:15:11,953
You break it down.
383
00:15:12,078 --> 00:15:13,371
Okay, ready--
1, 2, 3, not it.
384
00:15:13,496 --> 00:15:14,831
Not it.
You lose, Kenny.
385
00:15:14,956 --> 00:15:16,583
Oh!
386
00:15:21,421 --> 00:15:22,964
Oh my God--
they killed Kenny!
387
00:15:23,089 --> 00:15:24,466
You ba-!
388
00:15:26,426 --> 00:15:27,677
Ahh!
389
00:15:35,143 --> 00:15:37,562
Ooh yeah, oh yeah!
390
00:15:40,065 --> 00:15:42,609
What the hell is that?
391
00:15:42,734 --> 00:15:44,819
Oh my God!
What is that thing?
392
00:15:44,945 --> 00:15:46,738
Children, there's some
huge bulbous monstrosity
393
00:15:46,863 --> 00:15:48,406
heading for the classroom!
394
00:15:48,531 --> 00:15:50,033
Oh my God,
it's awful!
395
00:15:50,158 --> 00:15:51,701
It's coming
for the door!
396
00:15:53,536 --> 00:15:56,206
Hello, kids.
- Aunt Rosie.
397
00:15:56,331 --> 00:15:58,416
Run for your lives, children,
I'll try to fight it off!
398
00:15:58,541 --> 00:16:00,377
That's my aunt,
Rosie O'Donnell.
399
00:16:00,502 --> 00:16:01,836
Oh.
400
00:16:01,962 --> 00:16:04,506
Oh, uh, pleasure to
meet you, Ms. Donnell.
401
00:16:04,631 --> 00:16:06,466
You're looking... well.
402
00:16:06,591 --> 00:16:08,093
Don't worry, kids,
everything's gonna be fine.
403
00:16:08,218 --> 00:16:09,761
What's the problem?
404
00:16:09,886 --> 00:16:12,764
Aunt Rosie, we think
I won class president.
405
00:16:12,889 --> 00:16:14,224
No, Ike won.
406
00:16:14,349 --> 00:16:15,433
Look,
it's very simple--
407
00:16:15,558 --> 00:16:16,977
we took a vote
and the vote tied
408
00:16:17,102 --> 00:16:18,478
so now we've gotta
come up with a way--
409
00:16:18,603 --> 00:16:21,022
Well it obviously isn't
that simple, is it?
410
00:16:21,147 --> 00:16:22,774
I mean, you'd think a little
kindergarten teacher
411
00:16:22,899 --> 00:16:24,192
could've handled this,
412
00:16:24,317 --> 00:16:27,153
but now we're gonna
do it my way!
413
00:16:32,117 --> 00:16:36,496
We are Trapper Keeper.
414
00:16:36,621 --> 00:16:39,416
Oh no, it's heading for
Cheyenne Moun-tain.
415
00:16:39,541 --> 00:16:40,709
Why is that bad?
416
00:16:40,834 --> 00:16:42,961
It was when the
Trapper Keeper assimilated
417
00:16:43,086 --> 00:16:45,547
with the supercomputer
at Cheyenne Moun-tain
418
00:16:45,672 --> 00:16:48,508
that it was able to fuse
into our defensive computers.
419
00:16:48,633 --> 00:16:51,594
Then we have to stop it
before it gets there.
420
00:16:51,720 --> 00:16:53,847
Step on it,
Bill Cosby!
421
00:16:56,224 --> 00:16:58,184
Hey Mark, look.
422
00:17:00,228 --> 00:17:03,606
Wow, that is about the nicest
Trapper Keeper I've ever seen.
423
00:17:05,025 --> 00:17:06,443
Cartman,
you have to stop.
424
00:17:06,568 --> 00:17:10,447
We are Trapper Keeper,
we are one.
425
00:17:10,572 --> 00:17:14,325
A part of your friend must
still be alive in there.
426
00:17:17,245 --> 00:17:18,788
He is in there.
427
00:17:18,913 --> 00:17:21,041
That must be what Trapper Keeper
is using for ventilation.
428
00:17:21,166 --> 00:17:23,418
If one of you could
get in there, you could
reach the C.P.U.
429
00:17:23,543 --> 00:17:24,502
1, 2, 3, not it.
430
00:17:24,627 --> 00:17:26,171
Not it--
Ahh, dammit.
431
00:17:38,016 --> 00:17:40,060
What are you
doing, Kyle?
432
00:17:40,185 --> 00:17:42,062
I'm going to try
and break you away from
the computer, Cartman,
433
00:17:42,187 --> 00:17:43,563
I need to remove
the C.P.U.
434
00:17:43,688 --> 00:17:45,982
I'm afraid I can't
let you do that, Kyle.
435
00:17:46,107 --> 00:17:47,025
Screw you, fat ass!
436
00:17:47,150 --> 00:17:48,651
Hey, screw you.
437
00:17:48,777 --> 00:17:50,653
Cartman!
Ah!
438
00:17:50,779 --> 00:17:52,238
No!
439
00:17:55,408 --> 00:17:56,951
Okay, so then what
we need to do,
440
00:17:57,077 --> 00:17:59,204
is count everybody's vote
by hand.
441
00:17:59,329 --> 00:18:01,664
And after that, we're gonna
go over the votes again
manually and then--
442
00:18:01,790 --> 00:18:04,667
Oh stop it, stop it,
stop it!!!
443
00:18:04,793 --> 00:18:08,421
Look, kids, we're all in this
kindergarten class together.
444
00:18:08,546 --> 00:18:10,090
We have to
respect one another
445
00:18:10,215 --> 00:18:13,134
or else we're in for
a terrible school year.
446
00:18:13,259 --> 00:18:14,719
We're just making sure
447
00:18:14,844 --> 00:18:17,097
that the kids who voted for
my nephew don't get cheated.
448
00:18:17,222 --> 00:18:20,600
Half the kids in the class
didn't vote for your nephew!
So what about them?
449
00:18:20,725 --> 00:18:23,394
You don't give a crap
about them because
they're not on your side!
450
00:18:23,520 --> 00:18:26,022
People like you preach
tolerance and open-mindedness
all the time,
451
00:18:26,147 --> 00:18:27,524
but when it comes to
middle America
452
00:18:27,649 --> 00:18:29,400
you think we're all evil
and stupid country yokels
453
00:18:29,526 --> 00:18:31,486
who need your
political enlightenment!
454
00:18:31,611 --> 00:18:34,364
Well, just because you're on TV
doesn't mean you know crap
about the government!!
455
00:18:34,489 --> 00:18:36,574
Now get your ass
back on first class
456
00:18:36,699 --> 00:18:39,619
and respect this class' right
to make up their own minds!!
457
00:18:41,788 --> 00:18:43,957
Oh, sorry, I got a little
off the subject there, kids.
458
00:18:44,082 --> 00:18:45,625
How dare you!
459
00:18:45,750 --> 00:18:48,545
I will not be preached at
by a country bumpkin.
460
00:18:48,670 --> 00:18:51,548
I'm leaving this podunk town,
but in my place
461
00:18:51,673 --> 00:18:54,092
I'm gonna send more lawyers,
statesmen and press
462
00:18:54,217 --> 00:18:56,803
than you have
ever seen!
463
00:18:56,928 --> 00:19:00,056
Oh, no, children, I think I just
made this a whole lot worse.
464
00:19:10,650 --> 00:19:12,026
Ahh!
465
00:19:12,152 --> 00:19:13,862
Whoa!
466
00:19:17,615 --> 00:19:18,616
Well, that does it.
467
00:19:18,741 --> 00:19:20,535
I'm gonna have to
report this.
468
00:19:20,660 --> 00:19:23,037
Guard one to base--
Ahh!
469
00:19:23,163 --> 00:19:24,664
It is infusing
with everything.
470
00:19:24,789 --> 00:19:26,291
It is already
too powerful to stop.
471
00:19:26,416 --> 00:19:29,377
Kyle's got to succeed,
he's just got to.
472
00:19:29,502 --> 00:19:32,881
I can't reach
the C.P.U.
473
00:19:33,006 --> 00:19:34,257
What are you doin'?
474
00:19:34,382 --> 00:19:35,758
Get out of my way.
475
00:19:35,884 --> 00:19:38,178
Oh no, now there's
two of those things.
476
00:19:38,303 --> 00:19:40,221
No, I think that other thing
is Rosie O'Donnell.
477
00:19:40,346 --> 00:19:42,015
Huh? Which one?
478
00:19:42,140 --> 00:19:43,474
It's like
I'm seeing double.
479
00:19:43,600 --> 00:19:46,644
I said,
get out of my way!
480
00:19:46,769 --> 00:19:48,104
Aahhh!
481
00:19:54,277 --> 00:19:56,029
Ew.
482
00:19:56,154 --> 00:19:58,198
Look, I think that infusing
with Rosie O'Donnell
483
00:19:58,323 --> 00:20:00,575
has made
Trapper Keeper sick.
484
00:20:00,700 --> 00:20:04,954
Euhhh... bad pie,
bad pie.
485
00:20:05,079 --> 00:20:07,540
This is your chance, Kyle,
Cartman is weakened.
486
00:20:09,250 --> 00:20:10,877
Got him.
487
00:20:15,215 --> 00:20:17,383
He did it!
488
00:20:22,055 --> 00:20:25,058
Okay, children,
the lawyers for Ike's side
489
00:20:25,183 --> 00:20:27,227
have agreed with the lawyer's
on Filmore's side
490
00:20:27,352 --> 00:20:30,438
to hold another meeting
regarding form 22-f.
491
00:20:30,563 --> 00:20:32,273
Do we all
have that form?
492
00:20:32,398 --> 00:20:33,524
Is this the
kindergarten classroom?
493
00:20:33,650 --> 00:20:36,110
Jesse Jackson?
- That's right.
494
00:20:36,236 --> 00:20:38,029
I believe the African-American
students in your class
495
00:20:38,154 --> 00:20:39,530
were misrepresented.
496
00:20:39,656 --> 00:20:42,075
We don't have any African-
Americans in our class!
497
00:20:42,200 --> 00:20:45,203
Oh-bye.
498
00:20:45,328 --> 00:20:47,205
Alright, so apparently
what we're gonna do now
499
00:20:47,330 --> 00:20:49,457
is hand count
each person's ballot.
500
00:20:49,582 --> 00:20:52,835
Mr. Garrison,
I concede.
501
00:20:52,961 --> 00:20:55,797
You-you what?
502
00:20:55,922 --> 00:20:58,091
I don't wanna play anymore
'cause this game is stupid.
503
00:20:58,216 --> 00:20:59,842
Yeah, it doesn't
make any sense.
504
00:20:59,968 --> 00:21:02,470
Ike, you could be
class president.
505
00:21:02,595 --> 00:21:04,597
I pooped my pants!
506
00:21:04,722 --> 00:21:06,307
Can we finger paint now?
507
00:21:06,432 --> 00:21:08,518
Finger paint!
Finger paint!
508
00:21:08,643 --> 00:21:12,522
Ah-yes, yes,
let's finger paint!
509
00:21:12,647 --> 00:21:13,898
You did it, Kyle.
510
00:21:14,023 --> 00:21:15,275
Kyle saved your life,
fat ass.
511
00:21:15,400 --> 00:21:17,402
Look, I'm fading!
512
00:21:17,527 --> 00:21:19,946
It must of worked,
I don't exist!
513
00:21:20,071 --> 00:21:21,739
Oh, that's a bitch.
514
00:21:21,864 --> 00:21:24,409
Oh, well, I guess
everything's fine now.
515
00:21:24,534 --> 00:21:25,493
So let's go home.
516
00:21:25,618 --> 00:21:27,578
Hey, whoa, whoa,
whoa, Cartman--
517
00:21:27,704 --> 00:21:29,580
All you've been doing
is making fun of Kyle
and now he saved your life.
518
00:21:29,706 --> 00:21:30,957
You at least owe him
a thank you.
519
00:21:31,082 --> 00:21:32,333
Oh, man...
520
00:21:32,458 --> 00:21:33,543
Cartman!
521
00:21:33,668 --> 00:21:35,336
Alright, alright.
522
00:21:36,212 --> 00:21:36,921
Kyle...
39514
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