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Tonight Stellar Productions
presents
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00:00:34,493 --> 00:00:36,912
the boy band
of the decade
3
00:00:37,038 --> 00:00:40,708
it's Fingerbang live
from Madison Square Gardens!
4
00:01:16,911 --> 00:01:18,370
Cartman, I want you!
5
00:01:22,249 --> 00:01:23,793
All:
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00:01:31,133 --> 00:01:34,845
Yes, yes, yes,
I'm a star.
7
00:01:34,970 --> 00:01:35,888
I'm a star!
8
00:01:36,013 --> 00:01:37,681
I'm--
9
00:01:37,807 --> 00:01:40,768
Oh, I'm nobody,
goddamn it!
10
00:01:40,893 --> 00:01:43,521
Wait a minute,
maybe that was a sign from God.
11
00:01:43,646 --> 00:01:44,730
That's it, isn't it.
12
00:01:44,855 --> 00:01:46,023
You want me
to start a boy band,
13
00:01:46,148 --> 00:01:47,608
so I can make
$10 million, don't you?
14
00:01:47,733 --> 00:01:50,528
That's it!
15
00:01:50,653 --> 00:01:52,446
Gentlemen,
thank you for coming.
16
00:01:52,571 --> 00:01:54,490
This is the beginning
of a great time in our lives.
17
00:01:54,615 --> 00:01:56,826
God has finally
spoken to me, guys,
18
00:01:56,951 --> 00:01:59,912
and he has told me
how I can make $10 million.
19
00:02:00,037 --> 00:02:01,330
How?
- Boy band.
20
00:02:01,455 --> 00:02:02,832
Boy band?
- Boy band.
21
00:02:02,957 --> 00:02:04,625
I'm not being
in a faggy boy band.
22
00:02:04,750 --> 00:02:06,794
There's nothing faggy about
$10 million, asshole!
23
00:02:06,919 --> 00:02:08,254
This was a message from God!
24
00:02:08,379 --> 00:02:10,005
Ducle, we don't have
any musical talent.
25
00:02:10,131 --> 00:02:12,049
That didn't stop any of
the other boy bands, dumbass!
26
00:02:12,174 --> 00:02:14,260
I've got prerecorded music we
can sing to, just like they do.
27
00:02:14,385 --> 00:02:16,011
All we need to do
is practice our choreography
28
00:02:16,137 --> 00:02:17,596
over and over and over.
29
00:02:19,014 --> 00:02:20,599
Shut up, Kenny.
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00:02:20,724 --> 00:02:22,518
And then I know I can get us
a gig at the South Park Mall.
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00:02:22,643 --> 00:02:24,145
So everybody
get in a straight line,
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00:02:24,270 --> 00:02:25,813
we're going to listen to
the song from the top and--
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00:02:25,938 --> 00:02:27,523
Wait a minute,
there's only four of us.
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00:02:27,648 --> 00:02:28,524
So?
- So all boy bands
35
00:02:28,649 --> 00:02:30,109
have five members.
- What?
36
00:02:30,234 --> 00:02:31,610
N'sync, Backstreet Boys,
New Kids on the Block,
37
00:02:31,735 --> 00:02:32,695
all had five members.
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00:02:32,820 --> 00:02:33,654
He's right.
- Damn it!
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00:02:33,779 --> 00:02:34,864
Okay, okay, okay, okay, okay.
40
00:02:34,989 --> 00:02:36,157
We'll put off songs for now
41
00:02:36,282 --> 00:02:37,783
and hold auditions
for a fifth member.
42
00:02:37,908 --> 00:02:41,162
Get the word out that auditions
will be tomorrow morning.
43
00:02:41,287 --> 00:02:43,622
Did you have fun
at Eric's house today, Stanley?
44
00:02:43,747 --> 00:02:45,332
I guess.
- What did you do?
45
00:02:45,457 --> 00:02:46,917
Well, Cartman wants
to start a boy band,
46
00:02:47,042 --> 00:02:48,836
so we're going to rehearse
and then try to perform
47
00:02:48,961 --> 00:02:49,837
at the South Park Mall.
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00:02:49,962 --> 00:02:50,838
Oh, that sounds nice.
49
00:02:50,963 --> 00:02:52,506
No, it does not sound nice.
50
00:02:52,631 --> 00:02:54,508
Stanley, you are going to have
no part of that boy band.
51
00:02:54,633 --> 00:02:56,218
Well, but, Dad,
all my friends are doing it.
52
00:02:56,343 --> 00:02:57,678
If all your friends
jumped off a cliff,
53
00:02:57,803 --> 00:02:59,013
would you do that too?
54
00:02:59,138 --> 00:03:00,514
Cartman says we can
make $10 million.
55
00:03:00,639 --> 00:03:02,266
You are not going to be
in a boy band, Stanley,
56
00:03:02,391 --> 00:03:04,852
and that is final!
57
00:03:04,977 --> 00:03:07,563
Geez, what's up Dad's ass?
58
00:03:13,652 --> 00:03:15,821
Down came the white angel
and she said,
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00:03:30,294 --> 00:03:31,879
Ah, thank you, Butters.
We'll let you know.
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00:03:32,004 --> 00:03:32,963
I can do it again.
61
00:03:33,088 --> 00:03:34,089
We'll let you know, Butters.
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00:03:34,215 --> 00:03:34,840
Well, alright then.
63
00:03:36,967 --> 00:03:38,510
Pff, oh my God,
his intonation was so off!
64
00:03:38,844 --> 00:03:39,595
It was?
65
00:03:39,720 --> 00:03:41,472
Dude, I don't think I can sing
any better than that.
66
00:03:41,597 --> 00:03:43,349
Guys, if we're going to
impress the mall owner
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00:03:43,474 --> 00:03:44,934
and get that gig, we better
do it better than that.
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00:03:45,059 --> 00:03:46,518
Next!
69
00:03:46,644 --> 00:03:48,145
Ah, next is Ike Brovlofsky.
Kyle's brother?
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00:03:48,270 --> 00:03:49,563
I promised my mom
I'd let him try.
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00:03:49,688 --> 00:03:50,981
Christ sake.
What key?
72
00:03:51,106 --> 00:03:53,609
"G".
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00:03:58,030 --> 00:03:59,865
Next!
74
00:04:05,829 --> 00:04:07,498
Next audition!
75
00:04:12,544 --> 00:04:13,796
Goddamn it, next!
76
00:04:20,010 --> 00:04:22,263
Not the next song,
the next person!
77
00:04:27,601 --> 00:04:31,397
Oh, man, this is gonna be
a long-ass day.
78
00:04:31,522 --> 00:04:32,898
Oh, no!
No, no, no, no!
79
00:04:33,023 --> 00:04:35,276
Sorry, Wendy, this is
try-outs for a boy band.
80
00:04:35,401 --> 00:04:36,652
Oh, come on, dude.
Let her try.
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00:04:36,777 --> 00:04:37,736
No way!
- Come on, Cartman.
82
00:04:37,861 --> 00:04:39,113
You haven't
liked anybody else.
83
00:04:39,238 --> 00:04:40,114
Okay, okay, fine.
84
00:04:40,239 --> 00:04:42,658
Wow me!
85
00:05:21,572 --> 00:05:24,033
Thanks, Wendy, don't call us.
We won't call you either.
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00:05:24,158 --> 00:05:25,284
Dude, what are you
talking about?
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00:05:25,409 --> 00:05:26,535
That was awesome!
88
00:05:26,660 --> 00:05:27,870
Dude, she's a chick!
89
00:05:27,995 --> 00:05:28,996
Come on,
nobody's going to notice.
90
00:05:29,121 --> 00:05:30,456
Nobody's gonna notice?
91
00:05:30,581 --> 00:05:32,166
What about her huge
freakin' hooters, huh?
92
00:05:32,291 --> 00:05:33,667
She's the best chance we have.
I say she's in.
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00:05:33,792 --> 00:05:34,960
Me too.
- Me too.
94
00:05:35,085 --> 00:05:36,670
Oh, this is a democratic
boy band, is it?
95
00:05:36,795 --> 00:05:38,172
Alright, fine.
She's in until she screws up.
96
00:05:38,297 --> 00:05:39,423
Yeah!
97
00:05:40,883 --> 00:05:42,343
Okay, you guys all ready
to rehearse?
98
00:05:42,468 --> 00:05:43,886
Cartman,
it's 6:00 in the morning.
99
00:05:44,011 --> 00:05:45,054
Do we have to rehearse
this early?
100
00:05:45,179 --> 00:05:46,597
We have to rehearse
all that we can.
101
00:05:46,722 --> 00:05:48,307
Now, check this out.
My mom made us costumes.
102
00:05:48,432 --> 00:05:49,308
Costumes?
103
00:05:49,433 --> 00:05:50,726
Yeah, this one's yours, Stan.
104
00:05:50,851 --> 00:05:52,019
This one is Kyle's.
105
00:05:52,144 --> 00:05:53,645
This one will cover-up
Wendy's hooters.
106
00:05:53,771 --> 00:05:55,439
Hey Cartman, how come
your costume has, like,
107
00:05:55,564 --> 00:05:56,940
nose-rings and facial hair?
108
00:05:57,066 --> 00:05:58,400
'Cause I'm, like,
you know, the tough one.
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00:05:58,525 --> 00:06:00,277
Every boy band has to have
the one member that's,
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00:06:00,402 --> 00:06:01,362
you know, is tough.
111
00:06:01,487 --> 00:06:02,363
I want to be
the tough one.
112
00:06:02,488 --> 00:06:04,573
Kyle, you are the sweet one.
113
00:06:04,698 --> 00:06:06,033
Will you please
just cooperate and not--
114
00:06:06,158 --> 00:06:07,743
I wanna be
the tough one.
115
00:06:07,868 --> 00:06:09,787
You can't be the tough one
because you're Jewish!
116
00:06:09,912 --> 00:06:11,246
Jews are tough!
- Since when?
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00:06:11,372 --> 00:06:12,539
Since Abraham, fatass!
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00:06:12,664 --> 00:06:14,875
Alright, fine, here.
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00:06:15,000 --> 00:06:16,335
Jesus Christ,
I wonder if every boy band
120
00:06:16,460 --> 00:06:17,586
had to go through this.
121
00:06:20,964 --> 00:06:22,591
Hey Cartman, what does
fingerbang mean anyways?
122
00:06:22,716 --> 00:06:24,343
I heard it on HBO.
123
00:06:24,468 --> 00:06:26,553
It means like, you know, when
you pretend to use your finger
124
00:06:26,678 --> 00:06:27,304
like a gun or something.
125
00:06:29,139 --> 00:06:30,349
Kenny says,
"that's not what it means."
126
00:06:30,474 --> 00:06:32,142
Okay, Kenny,
what does fingerbang mean then?
127
00:06:35,062 --> 00:06:37,147
What?
Who the hell would do that!
128
00:06:37,272 --> 00:06:39,024
Jesus Christ, grow up, Kenny,
would you?
129
00:06:39,149 --> 00:06:40,526
Alright, boys,
let's do it from the top.
130
00:06:40,651 --> 00:06:44,321
One, two, three, four.
131
00:06:44,446 --> 00:06:46,615
Now, I know that this is
your first day on the job
132
00:06:46,740 --> 00:06:48,492
of mall security, rookie.
133
00:06:48,617 --> 00:06:51,662
Keeping the law in the mall
is just like any tough city,
134
00:06:51,787 --> 00:06:54,498
and especially because
they don't let us have guns,
135
00:06:54,623 --> 00:06:56,166
it can be very dangerous.
136
00:06:56,291 --> 00:06:57,960
Alright, guys,
just do it like we rehearsed.
137
00:06:58,085 --> 00:06:59,545
We need energy.
We need to be up.
138
00:06:59,670 --> 00:07:01,922
Excuse me, just where
do you think you're going?
139
00:07:02,047 --> 00:07:03,257
We're going to see
the mall manager.
140
00:07:03,382 --> 00:07:05,134
Do you have
the proper clearance?
141
00:07:05,259 --> 00:07:06,510
Uh-oh, mall cops.
142
00:07:06,635 --> 00:07:08,554
You have to make
an appointment first.
143
00:07:08,679 --> 00:07:10,305
Now move along, sir.
144
00:07:10,431 --> 00:07:11,765
But we practiced for days!
145
00:07:11,890 --> 00:07:13,851
All we want to do
is show the guy what we can do,
146
00:07:13,976 --> 00:07:15,436
so that maybe we'll have
a chance to perform
147
00:07:15,561 --> 00:07:16,645
in the plaza of the--
148
00:07:16,770 --> 00:07:18,480
ah, ah, ah!
149
00:07:18,605 --> 00:07:19,815
Ah, oh,
Goddamn it!
150
00:07:19,940 --> 00:07:21,024
Jesus Christ, dude!
151
00:07:21,150 --> 00:07:22,609
Oh, God,
I can't see!
152
00:07:22,734 --> 00:07:26,697
Move along, sir,
or I'll do it again.
153
00:07:26,822 --> 00:07:29,533
You see, you put your life
on the line every day.
154
00:07:29,658 --> 00:07:31,618
Well, I guess we can't get in
to see the mall manager.
155
00:07:31,743 --> 00:07:33,537
The hell we can't!
156
00:07:33,662 --> 00:07:35,080
I'm not letting
no washed-up mall cops
157
00:07:35,205 --> 00:07:36,915
ruin my divine quest.
Come on!
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00:07:44,590 --> 00:07:45,757
Hey!
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00:07:45,883 --> 00:07:47,676
What are you doing?
160
00:07:47,801 --> 00:07:50,846
Nothing, just shopping.
161
00:07:50,971 --> 00:07:53,307
Move along, sir.
162
00:07:53,432 --> 00:07:55,476
You see, sometimes
you gotta just do that.
163
00:07:55,601 --> 00:07:58,854
Keep shoppers on their toes.
Try it.
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00:07:58,979 --> 00:08:00,189
Hey!
165
00:08:00,314 --> 00:08:01,732
What are you doin'?
166
00:08:01,857 --> 00:08:03,650
Nothing, why?
167
00:08:03,775 --> 00:08:06,069
Move along, ma'am.
168
00:08:06,195 --> 00:08:08,655
That's what being
a mall cop is all about, yeah.
169
00:08:08,780 --> 00:08:10,240
Cool.
170
00:08:10,365 --> 00:08:12,242
Attention, mall shoppers,
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00:08:12,367 --> 00:08:13,869
the next 20 people
to buy an orange smoothie
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00:08:13,994 --> 00:08:16,079
will also receive
a complimentary Nissan Sentra.
173
00:08:16,205 --> 00:08:17,080
Hurry up.
174
00:08:18,707 --> 00:08:21,168
Jesus, they're gonna start
a riot!
175
00:08:21,293 --> 00:08:22,669
Alright, guys,
here we go.
176
00:08:22,794 --> 00:08:24,213
Hello, sir!
- What?
177
00:08:24,338 --> 00:08:25,672
Hey, who are you?
178
00:08:25,797 --> 00:08:27,132
We are Fingerbang.
179
00:08:27,257 --> 00:08:29,426
Oh, what?
180
00:08:29,551 --> 00:08:31,303
How'd you get in here?
Hey!
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00:08:31,428 --> 00:08:32,804
We would like
to audition for you
182
00:08:32,930 --> 00:08:34,473
for a gig in the central plaza
of your fine mall.
183
00:08:34,598 --> 00:08:36,183
What?
Oh.
184
00:08:36,308 --> 00:08:37,309
You want to play at the mall?
185
00:08:37,434 --> 00:08:38,894
Like Tiffany?
186
00:08:39,019 --> 00:08:40,896
Sort of like Tiffany, yes.
Can we audition?
187
00:08:41,021 --> 00:08:43,899
Oh, well, I guess.
What?
188
00:08:44,024 --> 00:08:47,986
Alright,
let's do it boys!
189
00:08:48,111 --> 00:08:51,615
All:
190
00:09:05,671 --> 00:09:06,964
Okay, that's enough!
191
00:09:08,340 --> 00:09:09,299
Thank you!
So can we play here?
192
00:09:09,424 --> 00:09:10,592
What?
No.
193
00:09:10,717 --> 00:09:11,802
No?
- Who?
194
00:09:11,927 --> 00:09:13,136
No.
- Why not?
195
00:09:13,262 --> 00:09:15,180
Well, uh, uh, oh...
196
00:09:15,305 --> 00:09:18,058
Right now there's a cheese
and sausage cart in the plaza,
197
00:09:18,183 --> 00:09:20,435
and I would--I'd hate
to have to move it
198
00:09:20,561 --> 00:09:22,020
off to the side for a while.
199
00:09:22,145 --> 00:09:23,480
What?
200
00:09:23,605 --> 00:09:24,773
You don't think
we're any good, do you?
201
00:09:24,898 --> 00:09:26,316
No, I mean,
just not quite as good
202
00:09:26,441 --> 00:09:27,859
as sausage and cheese.
203
00:09:27,985 --> 00:09:30,904
Well, come on, guys.
We gave it our best.
204
00:09:31,029 --> 00:09:34,491
Wow, that was your best?
205
00:09:34,616 --> 00:09:36,076
Wow, I feel so rejected.
206
00:09:36,201 --> 00:09:37,619
Yeah.
There you are!
207
00:09:37,744 --> 00:09:39,246
You're the hoodlums
who got on the intercom
208
00:09:39,371 --> 00:09:40,998
and started
an orange smoothie riot!
209
00:09:41,123 --> 00:09:42,332
Uh-oh.
210
00:09:42,457 --> 00:09:43,792
I will now read you
your mall rights.
211
00:09:43,917 --> 00:09:46,128
You have the right to shop
at a variety of malls--
212
00:09:46,253 --> 00:09:47,129
Run for it!
213
00:09:47,254 --> 00:09:48,213
Go get 'em, rookie!
214
00:09:52,092 --> 00:09:53,844
Where is Stan?
215
00:09:53,969 --> 00:09:56,054
Oh, he's over at Eric's house
practicing for his boy band.
216
00:09:56,179 --> 00:09:57,806
What, I specifically
told him not to do that!
217
00:09:57,931 --> 00:10:00,142
Now, Randy, calm down.
It's just a silly little dream.
218
00:10:00,267 --> 00:10:01,685
They're not gonna
actually make it.
219
00:10:01,810 --> 00:10:03,103
And what if
they do make it, Sharon?
220
00:10:03,228 --> 00:10:04,438
What if they do make it?
221
00:10:04,563 --> 00:10:06,064
Are you going to be
the one to tell him?
222
00:10:06,189 --> 00:10:08,317
Mom, what's up Dad's ass?
223
00:10:08,442 --> 00:10:09,651
It's a long story, Shelly.
224
00:10:09,776 --> 00:10:11,236
Let's just say your father...
225
00:10:11,361 --> 00:10:12,654
Has a lot up his ass
right now.
226
00:10:14,615 --> 00:10:16,408
Oh, oh, hello, Eric.
227
00:10:16,533 --> 00:10:18,952
Problem, Chef.
I have many problems.
228
00:10:19,077 --> 00:10:21,997
Well, if you, uh, come back
in just a little bit, Eric,
229
00:10:22,122 --> 00:10:23,498
I'll see if I can
help you out.
230
00:10:23,624 --> 00:10:25,042
Just don't know
what I'm going to do.
231
00:10:25,167 --> 00:10:27,002
Sometimes I just wonder if God
is just toying with me.
232
00:10:27,127 --> 00:10:29,004
Alright, Eric,
what's the matter?
233
00:10:29,129 --> 00:10:30,505
Chef, God told me
I was to start a boy band
234
00:10:30,631 --> 00:10:31,798
and make $10 million.
235
00:10:31,923 --> 00:10:33,008
The problem is
it isn't working.
236
00:10:33,133 --> 00:10:36,094
I mean, I feel the music
burning inside me,
237
00:10:36,219 --> 00:10:37,804
but I just can't
express it right, you know?
238
00:10:37,929 --> 00:10:39,348
Well, Eric,
I think you're just
239
00:10:39,473 --> 00:10:40,891
focusing in
on the wrong thing.
240
00:10:41,016 --> 00:10:42,809
Boy bands
aren't about music.
241
00:10:42,934 --> 00:10:46,021
Boy bands are created
by corporations to make money,
242
00:10:46,146 --> 00:10:47,648
they're all based on
the Garmlich effect.
243
00:10:47,773 --> 00:10:49,066
What's
the Garmlich effect?
244
00:10:49,191 --> 00:10:50,525
The law of physics
that states
245
00:10:50,651 --> 00:10:52,194
if one girl screams
for something,
246
00:10:52,319 --> 00:10:53,654
it will make
other girls scream
247
00:10:53,779 --> 00:10:55,947
and then it grows
exponentiously
248
00:10:56,073 --> 00:10:58,742
until all girls within a
five-mile radius are screaming.
249
00:10:58,867 --> 00:11:00,285
So how do
boy bands use that?
250
00:11:00,410 --> 00:11:02,871
All they do is make videos
showing tons and tons
251
00:11:02,996 --> 00:11:04,873
of girls screaming
for the boy bands.
252
00:11:04,998 --> 00:11:07,501
Once you get girls screaming,
you can't stop 'em.
253
00:11:07,626 --> 00:11:08,835
They're crazy.
254
00:11:08,960 --> 00:11:10,212
Except for Lillith,
of course.
255
00:11:10,337 --> 00:11:11,588
Thanks.
- You're welcome.
256
00:11:11,713 --> 00:11:13,965
Now go away.
- Okay!
257
00:11:14,091 --> 00:11:16,301
And a cucumber in the pants
never hurt either.
258
00:11:16,426 --> 00:11:19,429
Cucumber in the pants.
Got it!
259
00:11:19,554 --> 00:11:20,806
Alright everybody, listen up.
260
00:11:20,931 --> 00:11:22,307
This is how this first shot
is gonna work.
261
00:11:22,432 --> 00:11:23,850
The girls are standing here,
262
00:11:23,975 --> 00:11:25,769
and then the members of the band
walk by looking cool.
263
00:11:25,894 --> 00:11:27,354
When you see us,
you girls all scream like,
264
00:11:27,479 --> 00:11:28,939
"Oh, my God, it's Fingerbang!
Oh, my God!"
265
00:11:29,064 --> 00:11:30,273
Okay?
266
00:11:30,399 --> 00:11:31,692
Are we going to get paid
now or after?
267
00:11:31,817 --> 00:11:32,984
I'll pay you afterwards,
promise.
268
00:11:33,110 --> 00:11:34,486
Okay, Timmy, roll camera!
- Timmy!
269
00:11:34,611 --> 00:11:35,987
Dude, what's wrong
with your leg?
270
00:11:36,113 --> 00:11:37,614
Huh, oh Chef said to put
a cucumber down my pants
271
00:11:37,739 --> 00:11:39,282
for good luck.
272
00:11:39,408 --> 00:11:41,201
All: Ya!
Whoo-whoo!
273
00:11:41,326 --> 00:11:43,120
Wait, wait, wait, wait, cut!
- Ha-ha!
274
00:11:43,245 --> 00:11:44,579
You have to go crazier
than that.
275
00:11:44,705 --> 00:11:45,956
I mean, you have to act
like it's freakin'
276
00:11:46,081 --> 00:11:47,124
Leonardo DiCaprio.
277
00:11:47,249 --> 00:11:48,458
We wouldn't give a rat's ass
278
00:11:48,583 --> 00:11:49,876
if Leonardo DiCaprio
came walking passed us.
279
00:11:50,001 --> 00:11:51,128
All: Yeah!
280
00:11:51,253 --> 00:11:52,587
Fine, who would you
go crazy for?
281
00:11:52,713 --> 00:11:55,132
Matt Lauer.
282
00:11:55,257 --> 00:11:56,842
Okay, fine.
Pretend that we're Matt Lauer.
283
00:11:56,967 --> 00:11:58,427
Oh, okay!
- Okay, roll camera.
284
00:11:58,552 --> 00:12:00,762
Timmy!
285
00:12:00,887 --> 00:12:02,931
All:
286
00:12:03,056 --> 00:12:05,142
Jesus Christ!
287
00:12:05,267 --> 00:12:07,602
All:
288
00:12:07,728 --> 00:12:08,937
And cut!
289
00:12:09,062 --> 00:12:10,772
Alright, our video's complete.
- Timmy!
290
00:12:10,897 --> 00:12:12,441
With the grace of God,
I can now go back
291
00:12:12,566 --> 00:12:14,067
to that mall manager
and show him what we've got!
292
00:12:14,192 --> 00:12:15,193
Okay, so where's our money?
293
00:12:15,318 --> 00:12:16,862
Oh, uh, Kyle has it.
294
00:12:16,987 --> 00:12:18,780
Stanley, what the hell
are you doing?
295
00:12:18,905 --> 00:12:19,865
We are making a music video.
296
00:12:19,990 --> 00:12:21,700
You get in the truck
right now!
297
00:12:21,825 --> 00:12:24,453
Dad I was just--
- Get in the truck!
298
00:12:24,578 --> 00:12:25,537
Dad, I did all my chores.
299
00:12:25,662 --> 00:12:27,205
Why can't I play
with my friends?
300
00:12:27,330 --> 00:12:28,832
Stanley, it's just that
there's better things
301
00:12:28,957 --> 00:12:31,042
you can be doing on a Saturday
than singing and dancing.
302
00:12:31,168 --> 00:12:33,336
You could be watching tv
or laying in bed.
303
00:12:33,462 --> 00:12:34,713
Dad, I like being
in a boy band.
304
00:12:34,838 --> 00:12:36,506
I think it's interesting.
305
00:12:36,631 --> 00:12:38,633
Well, there's plenty of other
interesting things you can do.
306
00:12:38,759 --> 00:12:39,926
Have you ever tried marijuana?
- No!
307
00:12:40,051 --> 00:12:41,803
Well, maybe it's time.
- Dad!
308
00:12:44,306 --> 00:12:45,515
Hey!
309
00:12:45,640 --> 00:12:46,850
What are you doing?
310
00:12:46,975 --> 00:12:48,602
I've got a new strain
of anthrax
311
00:12:48,727 --> 00:12:51,646
that I will see unleash
upon all of North America.
312
00:12:51,772 --> 00:12:54,024
Move along, sir.
- Huh?
313
00:12:54,149 --> 00:12:55,942
Attention, shoppers,
314
00:12:56,067 --> 00:12:57,903
there are naked people
at the orange smoothie machine.
315
00:12:58,028 --> 00:12:59,362
There are naked people
at the orange--
316
00:12:59,488 --> 00:13:00,947
Goddamn it!
317
00:13:01,072 --> 00:13:01,948
Hello again.
318
00:13:02,073 --> 00:13:03,450
What?
Oh, it's you.
319
00:13:03,575 --> 00:13:05,076
I don't like you.
320
00:13:05,202 --> 00:13:06,244
I know you didn't
love our audition,
321
00:13:06,369 --> 00:13:07,412
but now we have a video.
322
00:13:07,537 --> 00:13:08,830
Oh.
What?
323
00:13:08,955 --> 00:13:10,332
If you would, sir,
just watch this
324
00:13:10,457 --> 00:13:12,083
and prepare to be wowed.
325
00:13:17,130 --> 00:13:18,632
Timmy!
326
00:13:21,134 --> 00:13:22,010
Oh, Goddamn it.
327
00:13:22,135 --> 00:13:23,303
Our camera guy kinda sucks,
328
00:13:23,428 --> 00:13:27,057
but this next shot we did
was really cool.
329
00:13:27,182 --> 00:13:30,060
Ah!
330
00:13:30,185 --> 00:13:31,728
Timmy!
Livin' a lie!
331
00:13:31,853 --> 00:13:32,896
Son of a bitch!
332
00:13:33,021 --> 00:13:34,981
Hey, this video's dumb.
333
00:13:35,106 --> 00:13:36,191
You don't understand.
334
00:13:36,316 --> 00:13:37,692
Girls were going
crazy for us, please!
335
00:13:37,818 --> 00:13:39,820
This is what God
wants me to do, please!
336
00:13:39,945 --> 00:13:41,780
Alright, alright.
- What?
337
00:13:41,905 --> 00:13:44,115
Well, I guess I can move
the sausage and cheese cart
338
00:13:44,241 --> 00:13:46,493
off to one side
for a little while.
339
00:13:46,618 --> 00:13:47,661
Really, you will?
340
00:13:47,786 --> 00:13:48,912
Only for 20 minutes, though.
341
00:13:49,037 --> 00:13:49,955
That's all we need.
342
00:13:50,080 --> 00:13:51,331
How about this afternoon
at 3:00?
343
00:13:51,456 --> 00:13:53,416
Oh, okay.
344
00:13:53,542 --> 00:13:55,877
Yes, thank you, sir.
You will not be disappointed.
345
00:13:56,002 --> 00:13:59,005
Oh, Mrs. Cartman,
I've been very bad, okay.
346
00:13:59,130 --> 00:14:00,882
You have been bad,
Mr. Mackey,
347
00:14:01,007 --> 00:14:03,051
so you're going to
have to drink from this glass.
348
00:14:03,176 --> 00:14:05,095
Oh, yeah,
that makes me hot.
349
00:14:05,220 --> 00:14:06,888
Oh, Mom!
- Wow! What?
350
00:14:12,644 --> 00:14:14,437
It's not fair, dad.
Why can't I be in a boy band?
351
00:14:14,563 --> 00:14:16,189
Because I said so!
352
00:14:16,314 --> 00:14:18,316
Dad, Cartman said we're going
to perform in the mall at 3:00.
353
00:14:18,441 --> 00:14:20,110
My friends are going to be
pissed off at me.
354
00:14:20,235 --> 00:14:22,028
Let 'em be pissed off then.
I don't understand.
355
00:14:22,153 --> 00:14:23,697
Just let me let me go do
this one thing and I won't--
356
00:14:23,822 --> 00:14:25,073
No!
No!
357
00:14:32,122 --> 00:14:35,083
Dad, what the hell
is going on?
358
00:14:35,208 --> 00:14:36,668
I was...
359
00:14:36,793 --> 00:14:38,753
I was 18 when
my high school men's choir
360
00:14:38,879 --> 00:14:40,046
performed
at the grand opening
361
00:14:40,171 --> 00:14:41,923
of a sporting goods store
in Denver.
362
00:14:42,048 --> 00:14:45,176
All:
363
00:14:48,597 --> 00:14:51,141
I was just one of 15 members
and I had no idea
364
00:14:51,266 --> 00:14:52,559
that a record producer
was in the audience.
365
00:14:58,189 --> 00:14:59,316
Kid, can I talk to you?
- Sure.
366
00:14:59,441 --> 00:15:00,984
You were really great
up there.
367
00:15:01,109 --> 00:15:03,153
Too good for a pissant choir
in a pissant mountain town.
368
00:15:03,278 --> 00:15:04,654
Oh, thanks.
369
00:15:04,779 --> 00:15:06,281
Listen, I'm putting together
a rock group,
370
00:15:06,406 --> 00:15:08,241
a vocal group called
the Ghetto Avenue Boys.
371
00:15:08,366 --> 00:15:10,327
I think you would make
a perfect member.
372
00:15:10,452 --> 00:15:12,287
What, me?
You like my singing that much?
373
00:15:12,412 --> 00:15:14,623
Yeah, I think
your mustache is perfect.
374
00:15:14,748 --> 00:15:15,957
How would you like
to come to New York
375
00:15:16,082 --> 00:15:17,208
and start
a singing career?
376
00:15:17,334 --> 00:15:18,877
Oh my God,
I don't know.
377
00:15:19,002 --> 00:15:20,879
I mean, I still have another
year of high school and I--
378
00:15:21,004 --> 00:15:22,923
hey, look, if you don't
want it, I'll keep looking.
379
00:15:23,048 --> 00:15:24,424
No, wait.
I mean...I'll think about it.
380
00:15:24,549 --> 00:15:27,218
I take it that means yes.
Call me in the morning.
381
00:15:27,344 --> 00:15:28,970
And just like that,
I left everything.
382
00:15:29,095 --> 00:15:30,305
I dropped out of high school.
383
00:15:30,430 --> 00:15:31,681
See ya!
384
00:15:31,806 --> 00:15:32,724
I said good-bye
to my girlfriend.
385
00:15:32,849 --> 00:15:33,725
See ya!
386
00:15:33,850 --> 00:15:35,101
And I left my family.
387
00:15:35,226 --> 00:15:36,895
See ya!
388
00:15:37,020 --> 00:15:38,480
And suddenly there I was,
389
00:15:38,605 --> 00:15:40,190
thrown into a group
with four other young men
390
00:15:40,315 --> 00:15:41,316
who I didn't even know.
391
00:15:41,441 --> 00:15:43,026
Take 112.
392
00:15:43,151 --> 00:15:44,778
All:
393
00:15:47,197 --> 00:15:48,239
All:
394
00:15:48,365 --> 00:15:49,616
The songs were terrible,
395
00:15:49,741 --> 00:15:51,284
but believe it or not
the country ate them up.
396
00:15:51,409 --> 00:15:52,619
The next thing I knew,
397
00:15:52,744 --> 00:15:54,621
we were the biggest thing
in the world.
398
00:15:54,746 --> 00:15:56,206
All:
399
00:15:58,625 --> 00:16:00,043
I had everything,
a huge house
400
00:16:00,168 --> 00:16:02,295
and all the women
you can imagine.
401
00:16:02,420 --> 00:16:04,547
And then one day,
just as quick as it started...
402
00:16:04,673 --> 00:16:06,341
Alright, guys,
let's take it from the top.
403
00:16:06,466 --> 00:16:07,384
Hey, Mr. Allens.
404
00:16:07,509 --> 00:16:08,385
Hey, oh...
405
00:16:08,510 --> 00:16:09,761
Uh, Randy.
406
00:16:09,886 --> 00:16:11,721
Who are they?
407
00:16:11,846 --> 00:16:13,473
These are
the Avenue Ghetto Street Boys.
408
00:16:13,598 --> 00:16:15,517
My new boy band.
409
00:16:15,642 --> 00:16:17,727
But, we're still
selling records right?
410
00:16:17,852 --> 00:16:20,271
Look, kid, you're just
getting a little old
411
00:16:20,397 --> 00:16:21,564
to be in a boy band.
412
00:16:21,690 --> 00:16:23,608
I'm 19.
- Get a life, Marsh!
413
00:16:23,733 --> 00:16:25,485
Alright, guys,
let's take it from the top.
414
00:16:25,610 --> 00:16:27,320
They said that after
all the money we had made
415
00:16:27,445 --> 00:16:28,655
we were in debt
to the studio.
416
00:16:28,780 --> 00:16:29,948
So they towed my car.
417
00:16:30,073 --> 00:16:30,949
See ya!
418
00:16:31,074 --> 00:16:31,950
The women all left.
419
00:16:32,075 --> 00:16:32,951
All: See ya!
420
00:16:33,076 --> 00:16:34,160
And they took back my house.
421
00:16:34,285 --> 00:16:35,787
See ya!
422
00:16:35,912 --> 00:16:37,622
The only thing I could do
was come back to Colorado
423
00:16:37,747 --> 00:16:39,874
and face everyone
that I had abandoned.
424
00:16:40,000 --> 00:16:42,419
Hey, weren't you the guy
in that stupid boy band,
425
00:16:42,544 --> 00:16:43,628
the Ghetto Avenue Boys?
426
00:16:43,753 --> 00:16:45,296
Sure, I remember you.
427
00:16:51,928 --> 00:16:53,138
And so, you see, Stanley,
428
00:16:53,263 --> 00:16:55,807
I do know
what I'm talking about.
429
00:16:55,932 --> 00:16:58,476
Jesus Christ.
I never knew.
430
00:16:58,601 --> 00:17:01,563
I didn't want you to know,
because now I'm a joke.
431
00:17:01,688 --> 00:17:04,691
Ever since then,
I have wished every single day
432
00:17:04,816 --> 00:17:06,401
that I could go back
to that moment
433
00:17:06,526 --> 00:17:08,611
when I was offered the job
and say, "no."
434
00:17:08,737 --> 00:17:10,238
Because all the fame,
the money, the women,
435
00:17:10,363 --> 00:17:12,198
all it did
was build me up,
436
00:17:12,323 --> 00:17:13,241
so that I could be
knocked down
437
00:17:13,366 --> 00:17:15,827
harder than anybody
in the world.
438
00:17:15,952 --> 00:17:18,705
That's what being in a boy band
is all about, Stanley.
439
00:17:18,830 --> 00:17:20,915
It's people smothering you
and embracing you and loving you
440
00:17:21,041 --> 00:17:22,709
and then spitting you out
and throwing you away
441
00:17:22,834 --> 00:17:24,127
like you were
last night's pork chops.
442
00:17:24,252 --> 00:17:26,212
Now, we wander the Earth
in disarray,
443
00:17:26,337 --> 00:17:28,131
us, New Kids on the block,
the Osmonds,
444
00:17:28,256 --> 00:17:29,966
we're all the same.
445
00:17:30,091 --> 00:17:33,053
And that is why
you can't go to the mall.
446
00:17:36,514 --> 00:17:38,016
Okay.
447
00:17:41,436 --> 00:17:42,937
Wow, there must be at least
20 people out there.
448
00:17:43,063 --> 00:17:44,355
Where the hell is Stan?
449
00:17:44,481 --> 00:17:45,857
He'll be here.
Stan wouldn't douche.
450
00:17:45,982 --> 00:17:47,609
I swear to God,
if he ruins this dream of mine,
451
00:17:47,734 --> 00:17:49,069
I will have his nuts!
452
00:17:49,194 --> 00:17:51,321
Hey, uh, are you gonna
do that thing or what?
453
00:17:51,446 --> 00:17:52,739
Yes, yes, sir.
Any second.
454
00:17:52,864 --> 00:17:54,532
We're just waiting
on one more member.
455
00:17:54,657 --> 00:17:56,576
Well, hurry up, I can't keep
the sausage and cheese cart
456
00:17:56,701 --> 00:17:58,161
off this spot much longer.
457
00:17:58,286 --> 00:17:59,662
Yeah, we'll start
right away.
458
00:17:59,788 --> 00:18:01,414
We'll have to do it
without him.
459
00:18:01,539 --> 00:18:03,083
Hell no, I'm not being part
of a four member boy band!
460
00:18:03,208 --> 00:18:04,167
We'll look stupid.
- Yeah!
461
00:18:06,002 --> 00:18:06,544
Oh, Goddamn it!
462
00:18:14,677 --> 00:18:15,970
Dad?
- Huh, yeah?
463
00:18:16,096 --> 00:18:18,014
Well, I just wanted
to tell you
464
00:18:18,139 --> 00:18:19,307
that I don't think
you're a joke.
465
00:18:19,432 --> 00:18:20,683
I mean,
whatever you used to be,
466
00:18:20,809 --> 00:18:22,143
you're just my dad
467
00:18:22,268 --> 00:18:25,855
and you're the best dad
I've ever had.
468
00:18:25,980 --> 00:18:27,649
Come here, Stanley.
469
00:18:27,774 --> 00:18:29,609
Stan, it was wrong of me
to try and stop you
470
00:18:29,734 --> 00:18:31,653
from joining a boy band
without explaining why.
471
00:18:31,778 --> 00:18:33,655
I made some mistakes
in my life,
472
00:18:33,780 --> 00:18:36,116
and now I have to let
you make your own mistakes.
473
00:18:36,241 --> 00:18:37,867
Yeah.
474
00:18:37,992 --> 00:18:39,410
You know, in a way,
I think I was even jealous
475
00:18:39,536 --> 00:18:40,662
of you being in a boy band.
476
00:18:40,787 --> 00:18:42,455
Isn't that stupid?
- Not really.
477
00:18:42,580 --> 00:18:44,332
Not any more stupid than some
of the other stuff you've done.
478
00:18:44,457 --> 00:18:46,126
Well, come on.
I'll drive you down to the mall.
479
00:18:46,251 --> 00:18:47,377
Really?
- Yeah.
480
00:18:47,502 --> 00:18:48,753
I want to see
what you guys can do.
481
00:18:48,878 --> 00:18:49,879
And then we'll go buy you
a small toy,
482
00:18:50,004 --> 00:18:51,297
so you can
forget all about this.
483
00:18:51,422 --> 00:18:52,674
Alright!
484
00:18:54,968 --> 00:18:55,969
What's happening here?
485
00:18:56,094 --> 00:18:57,303
I don't know.
I guess nothing.
486
00:18:57,428 --> 00:18:59,639
Hmm, well,
let's walk away then.
487
00:18:59,764 --> 00:19:01,057
Goddamn it!
People are walking away!
488
00:19:01,182 --> 00:19:02,976
Alright, kids,
that does it.
489
00:19:03,101 --> 00:19:04,394
You're gonna have to
move and make way
490
00:19:04,519 --> 00:19:05,687
for the sausage and cheese cart.
491
00:19:05,812 --> 00:19:06,688
Just another minute.
492
00:19:06,813 --> 00:19:10,191
Sorry, get out.
493
00:19:10,316 --> 00:19:12,443
Well, God, I guess you
got me again didn't you.
494
00:19:12,569 --> 00:19:14,028
Yeah, that was
a good one, God.
495
00:19:14,154 --> 00:19:15,947
Hope it made you laugh,
you sick bastard.
496
00:19:16,072 --> 00:19:18,074
What's that?
497
00:19:18,199 --> 00:19:19,450
It's Stan!
498
00:19:19,576 --> 00:19:21,411
Oh, thank you, God!
Oh, praise his name!
499
00:19:21,536 --> 00:19:22,996
Dude, where the hell
have you been?
500
00:19:23,121 --> 00:19:24,455
Sir, we're all here now.
Can we go on, please?
501
00:19:24,581 --> 00:19:25,915
Who?
502
00:19:26,040 --> 00:19:27,417
Well, okay, I guess,
but hurry up.
503
00:19:27,542 --> 00:19:29,043
We will.
504
00:19:29,169 --> 00:19:30,837
Ladies and gentlemen,
you are about to witness
505
00:19:30,962 --> 00:19:32,755
the next great boy band
of the country.
506
00:19:32,881 --> 00:19:35,091
Some day you will all
be among those who can say,
507
00:19:35,216 --> 00:19:36,801
"I saw Fingerbang
when they first performed
508
00:19:36,926 --> 00:19:39,053
at some crappy little mall."
509
00:19:39,179 --> 00:19:40,555
And so without further ado
510
00:19:40,680 --> 00:19:43,850
all five members of the--
511
00:19:43,975 --> 00:19:45,435
oh, my God,
they killed Kenny!
512
00:19:45,560 --> 00:19:46,769
You bastards!
513
00:19:46,895 --> 00:19:48,563
No, he can't be dead.
514
00:19:48,688 --> 00:19:50,064
Dude, he's pretty dead.
515
00:19:50,190 --> 00:19:52,066
No, we were so close!
516
00:19:52,192 --> 00:19:54,027
Alright, that's it, kids.
Get out!
517
00:19:54,152 --> 00:19:55,361
But, we have to perform.
518
00:19:55,486 --> 00:19:57,030
We don't have
a fifth member, Cartman.
519
00:19:57,155 --> 00:19:59,073
Oh, yes, we do.
520
00:19:59,199 --> 00:20:00,533
Thank you
all for your patience
521
00:20:00,658 --> 00:20:02,493
and get ready for Fingerbang!
522
00:20:02,619 --> 00:20:04,245
All:
523
00:20:26,226 --> 00:20:27,143
Cha!
524
00:20:29,771 --> 00:20:32,899
Yes, yes!
Thank you, yes!
525
00:20:35,944 --> 00:20:37,320
We made $2.
526
00:20:37,445 --> 00:20:38,696
You were great, Dad.
527
00:20:38,821 --> 00:20:40,240
Yeah, I guess I still
got it in me a little.
528
00:20:40,365 --> 00:20:41,783
Can I get
your autograph?
529
00:20:41,908 --> 00:20:43,284
Okay, okay.
530
00:20:43,409 --> 00:20:45,328
Hey, don't hassle
the talent, ma'am.
531
00:20:45,453 --> 00:20:47,205
I actually don't really
know who they are.
532
00:20:47,330 --> 00:20:48,373
I was just getting
an autograph--
533
00:20:48,498 --> 00:20:50,208
Ah!
534
00:20:50,333 --> 00:20:51,668
Move along, ma'am.
535
00:20:51,793 --> 00:20:53,294
That was pretty good, kids.
536
00:20:53,419 --> 00:20:56,297
Maybe you can come perform
at my Elk's Club sometime.
537
00:20:56,422 --> 00:20:58,132
Okay, yeah, maybe.
538
00:20:58,258 --> 00:21:00,176
God, now it's like everybody
wants a piece of us.
539
00:21:00,301 --> 00:21:01,928
Yeah.
540
00:21:02,053 --> 00:21:03,346
I don't know if I can handle
all this fame.
541
00:21:03,471 --> 00:21:05,473
I mean, I always thought
I'd want to be famous,
542
00:21:05,598 --> 00:21:08,184
but now that I am,
I don't know if I like it.
543
00:21:08,309 --> 00:21:09,936
I mean, I probably can't
even walk through this mall
544
00:21:10,061 --> 00:21:11,229
right now without people going
545
00:21:11,354 --> 00:21:12,522
"oh, my God,
it's the Fingerbang guy!
546
00:21:12,647 --> 00:21:13,773
Oh, my God!"
547
00:21:13,898 --> 00:21:15,233
Yeah, that's gonna suck.
548
00:21:15,358 --> 00:21:17,068
Yeah, I just want to be
a normal kid again,
549
00:21:17,193 --> 00:21:19,112
have a normal life,
and appreciate what I have.
550
00:21:19,237 --> 00:21:21,823
I think you boys are
very smart for your age.
551
00:21:21,948 --> 00:21:23,908
Come on, I'll buy you all
an orange smoothie.
552
00:21:24,033 --> 00:21:25,368
I don't think
they sell those anymore.
553
00:21:25,493 --> 00:21:27,537
Hey, Cartman, do you think
God is going to be mad at you
554
00:21:27,662 --> 00:21:28,830
for not making $10 million?
555
00:21:28,955 --> 00:21:29,998
Oh, screw God.
I'm not scared of him.
556
00:21:30,123 --> 00:21:32,000
He's a pussy.
557
00:21:32,125 --> 00:21:33,251
You know I'm just kidding,
right?
39711
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