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1
00:00:34,577 --> 00:00:35,703
Dude, did you do all
your homework last night?
2
00:00:35,828 --> 00:00:37,455
Yeah, but there was
so much of it,
3
00:00:37,580 --> 00:00:38,873
I was up until
two in the morning.
4
00:00:38,998 --> 00:00:40,708
I know.
5
00:00:40,833 --> 00:00:42,543
Okay, children, I hope you all
did your homework last night
6
00:00:42,668 --> 00:00:46,047
because we're going to
talk about pages 42 through 612.
7
00:00:46,172 --> 00:00:47,590
First of all,
who can tell me
8
00:00:47,715 --> 00:00:49,508
what year the Founding Fathers
got together?
9
00:00:49,633 --> 00:00:51,761
Let's see, how about...
10
00:00:51,886 --> 00:00:54,680
Please don't call me,
please don't call on me.
11
00:00:54,805 --> 00:00:55,931
Wendy.
- Whew!
12
00:00:56,057 --> 00:00:57,516
1776.
13
00:00:57,641 --> 00:00:59,894
Good job, Wendy, and what
was that document called?
14
00:01:00,019 --> 00:01:02,271
Oh, please God, don't
let him call on me.
15
00:01:02,396 --> 00:01:03,189
Father in
heaven I beg you.
16
00:01:03,314 --> 00:01:04,565
Kyle.
17
00:01:04,690 --> 00:01:06,400
Oh, thank you Lord,
praise Jesus!
18
00:01:06,525 --> 00:01:07,485
The Declaration
of Independence.
19
00:01:07,610 --> 00:01:08,903
Very good, Kyle.
20
00:01:09,028 --> 00:01:10,696
Now, who can tell me
what famous person
21
00:01:10,821 --> 00:01:12,364
wrote the Declaration
of Independence?
22
00:01:12,490 --> 00:01:13,949
Let's see...
23
00:01:14,075 --> 00:01:17,995
Oh, I know, how about
the new student, Timmy.
24
00:01:18,120 --> 00:01:19,288
Timmy!
25
00:01:19,413 --> 00:01:21,165
No, it wasn't you, Timmy,
try again.
26
00:01:21,290 --> 00:01:22,875
Hee-yah...!
27
00:01:23,000 --> 00:01:24,418
Timmy, did you not
do your homework?
28
00:01:24,543 --> 00:01:25,795
Timmy!
29
00:01:25,920 --> 00:01:27,421
Ah, Mr. Garrison,
haven't you figured it out?
30
00:01:27,546 --> 00:01:28,714
Timmy's retarded.
31
00:01:28,839 --> 00:01:30,299
Don't call
people names, Stanley.
32
00:01:30,424 --> 00:01:31,926
But he is.
33
00:01:32,051 --> 00:01:33,469
Now, Timmy, you need to
work on your study skills.
34
00:01:33,594 --> 00:01:34,720
Duh...
35
00:01:34,845 --> 00:01:36,388
Are you mocking me?
36
00:01:36,514 --> 00:01:37,640
Because if you are, I have no
problem sending your butt
37
00:01:37,765 --> 00:01:39,100
to the
principal's office.
38
00:01:39,225 --> 00:01:40,726
Liv-a-laa...
Liv-a-la Timmar!
39
00:01:40,851 --> 00:01:42,269
That does it!
40
00:01:42,394 --> 00:01:44,188
Well, Timmy, I just don't
know what to do with you.
41
00:01:44,313 --> 00:01:45,981
You're getting
very poor marks in school,
42
00:01:46,107 --> 00:01:48,150
and the teachers are complaining
you're not paying attention.
43
00:01:48,275 --> 00:01:50,152
Ah.
44
00:01:50,277 --> 00:01:52,154
Young man, if you don't
want to be held back a grade,
45
00:01:52,279 --> 00:01:54,240
I suggest you start
cooperating, m'kay.
46
00:01:54,365 --> 00:01:55,825
Timmy!
47
00:01:55,950 --> 00:01:58,661
Well, that does it,
I'm suspending you, Timmy,
48
00:01:58,786 --> 00:02:01,038
until you can learn
to respect your elders.
49
00:02:01,163 --> 00:02:03,082
Hold on there just a second,
Principal Victoria.
50
00:02:03,207 --> 00:02:06,001
I think I may know
what the problem is.
51
00:02:06,127 --> 00:02:07,211
Timmy.
52
00:02:07,336 --> 00:02:08,504
Yes, of course.
53
00:02:08,629 --> 00:02:09,713
What?
54
00:02:09,839 --> 00:02:11,215
I think maybe Timmy
is suffering from
55
00:02:11,340 --> 00:02:13,300
something called
"Attention Deficit Disorder"
56
00:02:13,425 --> 00:02:14,718
or A.D.D.
57
00:02:14,844 --> 00:02:16,220
It's very common
in kids his age.
58
00:02:16,345 --> 00:02:18,472
Oh!
- Timmy!
59
00:02:18,597 --> 00:02:20,266
Well, that certainly
would explain it.
60
00:02:20,391 --> 00:02:21,851
It's should be
easy enough to find out,
61
00:02:21,976 --> 00:02:23,310
they have tests for
that kind of thing now.
62
00:02:23,435 --> 00:02:26,730
Liv-a-lar
Timmy!
63
00:02:26,856 --> 00:02:27,982
Alright this is
a very simple test
64
00:02:28,107 --> 00:02:29,567
that should determine,
without a doubt
65
00:02:29,692 --> 00:02:31,735
whether or not Timmy has
Attention Deficit Disorder.
66
00:02:31,861 --> 00:02:33,154
Good.
- M'kay.
67
00:02:33,279 --> 00:02:34,864
Now, Timmy, I'm going to
read you a book called
68
00:02:34,989 --> 00:02:36,949
"The Great Gatsby"
by F. Scott Fitzgerald,
69
00:02:37,074 --> 00:02:38,576
at the end of the novel,
I'll ask you a few questions,
70
00:02:38,701 --> 00:02:39,410
Are you ready?
71
00:02:39,535 --> 00:02:40,578
Him-my!
72
00:02:40,703 --> 00:02:42,621
Okay, here we go.
73
00:02:42,746 --> 00:02:45,124
"In my younger and more
vulnerable years,
74
00:02:45,249 --> 00:02:49,420
"My father gave me some advice
that I've been turning over
in my mind ever since...
75
00:02:54,383 --> 00:02:56,594
"...so, we beat on,
boats against the current,
76
00:02:56,719 --> 00:02:59,471
born back ceaselessly
into the past."
77
00:02:59,597 --> 00:03:02,516
Ah-ahhh.
78
00:03:02,641 --> 00:03:04,685
Okay, now Timmy,
in chapter seven,
79
00:03:04,810 --> 00:03:09,106
what kind of car
did Gatsby drive?
80
00:03:09,231 --> 00:03:09,940
Timmy!
81
00:03:10,065 --> 00:03:11,775
Well, that settles it!
82
00:03:11,901 --> 00:03:14,153
This young man definitely has
Attention Deficit Disorder.
83
00:03:14,278 --> 00:03:15,446
Oh-oh, I knew it.
84
00:03:15,571 --> 00:03:17,031
What can we do
for him, doctor?
85
00:03:17,156 --> 00:03:18,782
Well, A.D.D. Is
fairly common in kids today,
86
00:03:18,908 --> 00:03:20,492
I'm going to prescribe
some ritalin.
87
00:03:20,618 --> 00:03:22,036
And we'll see how that
goes for little Timmy.
88
00:03:22,161 --> 00:03:23,454
Timmy...
89
00:03:24,705 --> 00:03:26,373
Hurry up children,
let's take our seats.
90
00:03:26,498 --> 00:03:28,083
You better have done
your homework last night, Timmy.
91
00:03:28,209 --> 00:03:29,168
What's this?
92
00:03:29,293 --> 00:03:30,294
Timmy.
93
00:03:30,419 --> 00:03:32,004
A note
from the principal.
94
00:03:32,129 --> 00:03:33,756
"Please excuse Timmy from all
questions and all homework,
95
00:03:33,881 --> 00:03:35,883
as he has been diagnosed with
Attention Deficit Disorder."
96
00:03:36,008 --> 00:03:37,134
Oh, brother!
97
00:03:37,259 --> 00:03:38,177
He doesn't have to
do homework?
98
00:03:38,302 --> 00:03:39,970
That's just swell, Timmy.
99
00:03:40,095 --> 00:03:41,263
Looks like you've outsmarted the
principal and the counselor.
100
00:03:41,388 --> 00:03:43,015
Timmy.
101
00:03:43,140 --> 00:03:44,433
Very well, I guess you're
excused from homework.
102
00:03:44,558 --> 00:03:46,602
Hey wait, I think maybe I have
Attention Defunction Disorder.
103
00:03:46,727 --> 00:03:48,145
Yeah, me too,
I've got A.D.D.
104
00:03:48,270 --> 00:03:50,022
- Me too.
- I've got it.
105
00:03:50,147 --> 00:03:53,317
"...after a while I went out
and left the hospital
106
00:03:53,442 --> 00:03:57,279
and walked back to the
hotel in the rain."
107
00:04:01,742 --> 00:04:06,038
Alright now, in chapter 12, what kind of
bottles did Ms. Van Campen talk about?
108
00:04:06,163 --> 00:04:08,207
Anybody?
109
00:04:08,332 --> 00:04:10,751
Anybody?
110
00:04:10,876 --> 00:04:12,628
My God, these children
all have A.D.D.
111
00:04:12,753 --> 00:04:14,046
Hooray!
112
00:04:14,171 --> 00:04:16,465
Hooray.
113
00:04:16,590 --> 00:04:18,676
It's ritalin
for all of you!
114
00:04:28,936 --> 00:04:30,187
Dude, we suck.
115
00:04:30,312 --> 00:04:32,356
Hey that's not
the right attitude, Jonesy.
116
00:04:32,481 --> 00:04:34,024
The Battle of the Bands
is tomorrow night.
117
00:04:34,149 --> 00:04:36,110
Dude, we'd never win the
Battle of the Bands.
118
00:04:36,235 --> 00:04:37,278
There's no big deal.
119
00:04:37,403 --> 00:04:38,737
Not a big deal!
120
00:04:38,862 --> 00:04:40,239
This year's winner gets
to open for Phil Collins
121
00:04:40,364 --> 00:04:41,907
at Lollapaloobooza and
that's no big deal.
122
00:04:42,032 --> 00:04:44,034
Hey guys, you better
stop fighting.
123
00:04:44,159 --> 00:04:46,036
We just got to
practice more.
124
00:04:46,161 --> 00:04:48,539
Dude, we've been practicing
for eight years, Skylar.
125
00:04:48,664 --> 00:04:50,666
Hey, am I the leader
of this band or not?
126
00:04:50,791 --> 00:04:52,835
Now, let's
do it from the top.
127
00:04:57,298 --> 00:04:58,257
Tim-mah!
128
00:05:00,759 --> 00:05:02,052
Tim-mah!
129
00:05:03,053 --> 00:05:03,679
What was that?
130
00:05:03,804 --> 00:05:05,848
I don't know, man.
131
00:05:13,939 --> 00:05:14,982
Whoa!
132
00:05:15,107 --> 00:05:16,066
Who is that?
133
00:05:16,191 --> 00:05:17,735
Timmy!
134
00:05:17,860 --> 00:05:19,320
Are you a
singer, man?
135
00:05:19,445 --> 00:05:21,864
La-la-Timmy.
136
00:05:26,535 --> 00:05:27,453
Timmy!
137
00:05:30,414 --> 00:05:31,415
Timmy!
138
00:05:31,540 --> 00:05:32,207
Dude, that's hot!
139
00:05:32,333 --> 00:05:34,001
Yeah.
140
00:05:34,877 --> 00:05:36,045
There's your prescription
Ms. McCormick,
141
00:05:36,170 --> 00:05:37,629
$100 worth of ritalin.
142
00:05:37,755 --> 00:05:39,715
Then he won't have Attention
Deficit Disorder anymore?
143
00:05:39,840 --> 00:05:40,883
We can only hope so.
144
00:05:41,008 --> 00:05:42,259
Next!
145
00:05:42,384 --> 00:05:43,844
Oh, hi Sheila.
146
00:05:43,969 --> 00:05:46,638
Sharon, your son has Attention
Deficit Disorder, too?
147
00:05:46,764 --> 00:05:49,058
Yes, I should have known,
it all makes sense now.
148
00:05:49,183 --> 00:05:50,559
I could never get Stanley
to pay attention
149
00:05:50,684 --> 00:05:52,644
when his grandfather told
him stories about the 30s.
150
00:05:52,770 --> 00:05:55,439
I know what you mean,
Kyle gets so hyper sometimes
151
00:05:55,564 --> 00:05:57,441
he runs around and screams
like a little eight-year-old.
152
00:05:57,566 --> 00:05:58,776
I am eight.
153
00:05:58,901 --> 00:06:00,194
Next, please.
154
00:06:00,319 --> 00:06:01,695
What do we have here--
oh, ritalin.
155
00:06:01,820 --> 00:06:03,155
Yes.
156
00:06:03,280 --> 00:06:04,323
That's right I've got
a bad case of A.D.D.
157
00:06:04,448 --> 00:06:06,575
No homework for me.
158
00:06:06,700 --> 00:06:08,327
Mr. Pharmacist, this ritalin doesn't
have any side-effects does it?
159
00:06:08,452 --> 00:06:11,038
No, your son may experience
a small lack of energy,
160
00:06:11,163 --> 00:06:12,748
but that's all.
161
00:06:12,873 --> 00:06:15,084
And he might start seeing little
Christina Aguillera monsters
162
00:06:15,209 --> 00:06:16,585
but that's
to be expected.
163
00:06:16,710 --> 00:06:18,462
Oh, my!
164
00:06:27,721 --> 00:06:29,598
- Boo!
- You suck!
165
00:06:30,766 --> 00:06:32,434
Alright, that was
166
00:06:32,559 --> 00:06:35,646
"Sisters of Mercy. Hold No
Pain Against the Dark Lord"
167
00:06:35,771 --> 00:06:37,356
with their song
168
00:06:37,481 --> 00:06:39,066
"Spilt Blood on the Footsteps
of My Mind".
169
00:06:39,191 --> 00:06:40,734
We got the best response,
170
00:06:40,859 --> 00:06:42,611
we'll be opening for
Phil Collins for sure.
171
00:06:42,736 --> 00:06:44,947
And now it's time
for our final band.
172
00:06:45,072 --> 00:06:45,989
Thank God!
173
00:06:47,282 --> 00:06:48,617
Give it up for,
174
00:06:48,742 --> 00:06:51,995
"Timmy and
the Lords of the Underworld".
175
00:06:55,874 --> 00:06:56,917
One, two, three, four!
176
00:06:59,628 --> 00:07:00,337
Timmy!
177
00:07:02,881 --> 00:07:04,174
Timmy!
Yimmy, yeah!
178
00:07:07,177 --> 00:07:09,638
That handicapped
dude rules!
179
00:07:09,763 --> 00:07:11,723
Yeah.
180
00:07:11,849 --> 00:07:14,059
You guys are terrible, how can
you laugh at that poor kid?
181
00:07:14,184 --> 00:07:15,727
Timmy, Timmy!
182
00:07:23,569 --> 00:07:24,570
Timmy, Timmy!
183
00:07:24,695 --> 00:07:25,779
Dude, it's Timmy.
184
00:07:25,904 --> 00:07:26,822
No way!
185
00:07:26,947 --> 00:07:28,740
DA...DA...DA...
186
00:07:28,866 --> 00:07:32,828
They're ridiculing that singer,
come on let's get out of here.
187
00:07:32,953 --> 00:07:38,167
Timmy, Timmy.
188
00:07:40,586 --> 00:07:41,879
Timmy!
189
00:07:43,547 --> 00:07:45,382
Timmy!
190
00:07:45,507 --> 00:07:47,134
Timmy!
191
00:07:51,722 --> 00:07:53,056
That was awesome!
192
00:07:53,182 --> 00:07:54,850
Yeah, Timmy rules!
193
00:07:54,975 --> 00:07:57,269
Boys, you shouldn't laugh at him
he's handicapped.
194
00:07:57,394 --> 00:07:58,645
But, he's funny.
195
00:07:58,770 --> 00:07:59,897
How, would you like
to be handicapped?
196
00:08:00,022 --> 00:08:01,607
Do you think that
would be funny?
197
00:08:01,732 --> 00:08:03,192
You're making
him feel bad.
198
00:08:03,317 --> 00:08:04,526
He looks pretty
happy to me.
199
00:08:04,651 --> 00:08:06,612
Oh, you people
make me sick!
200
00:08:06,737 --> 00:08:08,071
Dude, this is
a no-brainer!
201
00:08:08,197 --> 00:08:10,282
This year Battle
of the Bands winner
202
00:08:10,407 --> 00:08:15,287
and the band that gets to
open for Phil Collins at
Lullapolooza is Timmy.
203
00:08:15,412 --> 00:08:16,997
We did it, dude.
204
00:08:17,122 --> 00:08:19,291
Listen to them,
they really love me.
205
00:08:19,416 --> 00:08:20,501
Woo!
206
00:08:20,626 --> 00:08:21,793
Woo!
207
00:08:21,919 --> 00:08:24,129
Yes, I'm a rocker!
208
00:08:28,926 --> 00:08:30,969
Tonight we analyze
the new rock sensation Timmy,
209
00:08:31,094 --> 00:08:33,722
the controversial new band that's
taken the country by storm.
210
00:08:33,847 --> 00:08:36,016
Already playing at
several large venues this month.
211
00:08:36,141 --> 00:08:38,602
The band prepares for it's
biggest gig, Lollapaloozaza.
212
00:08:38,727 --> 00:08:40,354
Where they will open
for Phil Collins.
213
00:08:40,479 --> 00:08:42,064
But, Phil Collins
is not happy.
214
00:08:42,189 --> 00:08:45,817
Well, I think it's a
horrible tragedy, isn't it?
215
00:08:45,943 --> 00:08:50,155
I mean, people aren't going to
see Timmy for his musical skills;
216
00:08:50,280 --> 00:08:52,032
they're laughing at him.
217
00:08:52,157 --> 00:08:55,160
And I think you shouldn't laugh
at people with disabilities.
218
00:08:55,285 --> 00:08:56,745
Ha, heh-heh.
219
00:08:56,870 --> 00:08:59,248
Society has to learn
to be more compassionate.
220
00:08:59,373 --> 00:09:04,169
This is going to stop,
if I have to stop it myself.
221
00:09:04,294 --> 00:09:05,796
Dude, did you
see that stuff
222
00:09:05,921 --> 00:09:07,673
Phil Collins was
saying about Timmy?
223
00:09:07,798 --> 00:09:10,050
Yeah, what a dick, Timmy's five
times more talented than he is.
224
00:09:10,175 --> 00:09:12,094
Hey, guys, have you been
taking your ritalin?
225
00:09:12,219 --> 00:09:14,805
No we're not actually
going to take that stuff.
226
00:09:14,930 --> 00:09:17,266
No dude, you got to try it,
it makes you feel good.
227
00:09:17,391 --> 00:09:18,809
Good...
228
00:09:23,188 --> 00:09:24,565
Hello, there children.
229
00:09:24,690 --> 00:09:25,023
Hello, Chef.
Hello, Chef.
Hello, Chef.
230
00:09:25,148 --> 00:09:26,066
Hello, Chef.
231
00:09:26,191 --> 00:09:27,067
How's it going?
232
00:09:27,192 --> 00:09:27,985
Very well, thank you.
233
00:09:28,110 --> 00:09:29,069
Very well, thank you.
234
00:09:29,194 --> 00:09:30,529
Everything's fine, why?
235
00:09:30,654 --> 00:09:32,030
Because we're
on ritalin.
236
00:09:32,155 --> 00:09:33,657
What?
237
00:09:33,782 --> 00:09:34,575
We all have
Attention Deficit Disorder
238
00:09:34,700 --> 00:09:35,993
so we all started taking ritalin.
239
00:09:36,118 --> 00:09:37,953
It really takes the edge off,
man, you should try it.
240
00:09:38,078 --> 00:09:41,498
So, that's why all you children
are acting all damn boring.
241
00:09:41,623 --> 00:09:42,791
That's correct, Chef.
242
00:09:42,916 --> 00:09:44,209
Dammit, children,
you don't need drugs
243
00:09:44,334 --> 00:09:45,752
to make you pay
attention in school.
244
00:09:45,877 --> 00:09:47,546
In my day, if we
didn't pay attention
245
00:09:47,671 --> 00:09:49,339
we got a belt
to the bottom.
246
00:09:49,464 --> 00:09:51,091
Now they try to
cure everything with drugs.
247
00:09:51,216 --> 00:09:52,926
Yes, but now we don't
have any homework,
248
00:09:53,051 --> 00:09:54,219
so we can go see Timmy play
downtown at Mile High Stadium.
249
00:09:54,344 --> 00:09:55,470
Oh boy, oh boy.
250
00:09:55,596 --> 00:09:56,471
Oh boy.
251
00:09:56,597 --> 00:09:58,599
Oh, it makes me sick!
252
00:09:58,724 --> 00:10:00,892
Those damn psychologists
prescribe all kind of medicine
to you children,
253
00:10:01,018 --> 00:10:02,644
without even caring
about the side effects.
254
00:10:02,769 --> 00:10:04,062
But there are no
side effects, Chef.
255
00:10:04,187 --> 00:10:05,897
No, none at all.
256
00:10:06,023 --> 00:10:07,441
Reoww!
257
00:10:09,026 --> 00:10:10,402
Did you guys see that?
258
00:10:10,527 --> 00:10:11,945
See what?
259
00:10:13,238 --> 00:10:14,865
You're watching MTV.
260
00:10:14,990 --> 00:10:16,700
The cool brainwashing
12-year-old and younger station
261
00:10:16,825 --> 00:10:18,160
that hides behind
a slick image.
262
00:10:18,285 --> 00:10:19,494
We're so cool,
that we decide what's cool.
263
00:10:19,620 --> 00:10:21,204
And now MTV News.
264
00:10:21,330 --> 00:10:22,789
The news that is single-handedly
dumbing down our country,
265
00:10:22,914 --> 00:10:24,291
which is cool.
266
00:10:24,416 --> 00:10:25,500
Here's your host,
Kurt Loder.
267
00:10:25,626 --> 00:10:28,086
Why am I
still doing this?
268
00:10:28,211 --> 00:10:31,798
I've got to be to the oldest person
on this network by at least 40 years.
269
00:10:31,923 --> 00:10:33,425
Kurt Loder didn't
just say that.
270
00:10:33,550 --> 00:10:35,385
No wait, he did just say it,
but just to be cool.
271
00:10:35,510 --> 00:10:37,220
That's what
makes him cool.
272
00:10:37,346 --> 00:10:39,765
You think Kurt Loder is cool
and now the news that's cool.
273
00:10:39,890 --> 00:10:42,684
Well, it's only two weeks
until Lollapaloobuba
274
00:10:42,809 --> 00:10:44,311
and the headlining band
has changed,
275
00:10:44,436 --> 00:10:46,313
now the headlining band
is Timmy,
276
00:10:46,438 --> 00:10:48,357
the new hit sensation
out of Colorado.
277
00:10:48,482 --> 00:10:50,567
This news came as a shock
to the performer
278
00:10:50,692 --> 00:10:53,195
that was going to headline
Lalapulubla, Phil Collins.
279
00:10:53,320 --> 00:10:56,073
Well, I think the
sad question is
280
00:10:56,198 --> 00:10:57,824
where are the parents
in all this?
281
00:10:57,949 --> 00:11:01,161
I mean, that kid's parents is
letting them be exploited
282
00:11:01,286 --> 00:11:02,996
and they don't even
seem to care.
283
00:11:03,121 --> 00:11:05,666
And so Phil Collins
decided to travel to South Park
284
00:11:05,791 --> 00:11:07,876
and personally pay
Timmy's parents a visit.
285
00:11:08,001 --> 00:11:09,628
Well, I mean,
286
00:11:09,753 --> 00:11:11,254
why are you letting them
do this to your son?
287
00:11:11,380 --> 00:11:13,465
Don't you see that everyone
is just laughing at him.
288
00:11:13,590 --> 00:11:14,716
Richard!
289
00:11:14,841 --> 00:11:15,884
Helen!
290
00:11:16,009 --> 00:11:18,136
Hey.
291
00:11:18,261 --> 00:11:20,472
Phil Collins warns that a
novelty band that makes fun
of the handicapped
292
00:11:20,597 --> 00:11:23,266
should not be allowed
to play at Lollapoolula.
293
00:11:23,392 --> 00:11:25,727
And vows to do everything
in his power to stop it.
294
00:11:25,852 --> 00:11:27,771
Phil Collins, by the way,
divorced his wife by fax
295
00:11:27,896 --> 00:11:29,439
and then married
a 27-year-old.
296
00:11:29,564 --> 00:11:31,692
I'm Kurt Loder
and that's the news.
297
00:11:31,817 --> 00:11:34,695
Okay, children,
let's settle down.
298
00:11:37,030 --> 00:11:39,950
I mean it,
I want quiet.
299
00:11:41,702 --> 00:11:42,994
My God, Mr. Head,
300
00:11:43,120 --> 00:11:44,705
these children are
so boring on ritalin.
301
00:11:44,830 --> 00:11:48,333
Alright, children,
today we're going to learn about
302
00:11:48,458 --> 00:11:50,419
human reproduction!
303
00:11:50,544 --> 00:11:52,003
What do you
think about that?
304
00:11:52,129 --> 00:11:56,591
Vaginas and penises...
305
00:11:56,717 --> 00:11:59,177
Butt sex.
306
00:11:59,302 --> 00:12:02,973
Damn it, Eric, don't you have
some smart-ass thing to say?
307
00:12:03,098 --> 00:12:05,100
What kind of smart-ass thing
would I say, Mr. Garrison?
308
00:12:05,225 --> 00:12:07,018
This is driving me crazy!
309
00:12:07,144 --> 00:12:09,563
I can't handle you little
bastards being so mellow.
310
00:12:09,688 --> 00:12:11,064
Gee, you seem
a little stressed Mr. Garrison,
311
00:12:11,189 --> 00:12:12,357
why don't you
try some ritalin?
312
00:12:14,901 --> 00:12:15,819
Ah...
313
00:12:15,944 --> 00:12:18,405
There you go.
314
00:12:18,530 --> 00:12:18,905
Reow!
315
00:12:19,030 --> 00:12:20,240
Ahh!
316
00:12:20,365 --> 00:12:21,867
Thank you, folks.
Good night!
317
00:12:21,992 --> 00:12:23,744
Alright, let's
rock this house.
318
00:12:23,869 --> 00:12:24,745
Hello Miami!
319
00:12:24,870 --> 00:12:26,288
Timmy!
320
00:12:27,456 --> 00:12:28,790
Excuse me, Skylar.
321
00:12:28,915 --> 00:12:30,333
Yeah.
322
00:12:30,459 --> 00:12:32,419
Nice to meet you,
I'm Phil Collins.
323
00:12:32,544 --> 00:12:35,297
Oh, yeah, you're opening
for us at Lollapaluzava.
324
00:12:35,422 --> 00:12:36,965
I just want to
tell you well,
325
00:12:37,090 --> 00:12:39,384
that I think you're a great
guitar player and songwriter.
326
00:12:39,509 --> 00:12:41,595
Oh, thanks a lot,
I appreciate that.
327
00:12:41,720 --> 00:12:43,096
Gotta run.
328
00:12:43,221 --> 00:12:45,849
It's too bad those other guys
are holding you back.
329
00:12:45,974 --> 00:12:47,225
Huh?
330
00:12:47,350 --> 00:12:48,977
Well, I mean,
it's obvious
331
00:12:49,102 --> 00:12:51,730
all the talent and artistic
vision comes from you.
332
00:12:51,855 --> 00:12:54,024
Strange how everyone
focuses on Timmy, isn't it.
333
00:12:54,149 --> 00:12:56,985
I mean even the name
of the band is Timmy.
334
00:12:57,110 --> 00:12:59,863
The name of the band is Timmy
and the Lords of the Underworld.
335
00:12:59,988 --> 00:13:02,908
Look, I used to be
in a band too, Genesis.
336
00:13:03,033 --> 00:13:05,494
But all those bastards did was
hold me back, and hold me back,
337
00:13:05,619 --> 00:13:07,788
but then finally
I went solo.
338
00:13:07,913 --> 00:13:10,791
And that's when I started
writing really great songs.
339
00:13:10,916 --> 00:13:13,210
But, look if you you're
happy being on the sidelines,
340
00:13:13,335 --> 00:13:15,879
being more of a cheerleader
than a player,
341
00:13:16,004 --> 00:13:18,548
well then I guess you should
stay on as Timmy's shadow.
342
00:13:18,673 --> 00:13:22,511
Oh, thanks man,
see you.
343
00:13:22,636 --> 00:13:27,474
That should just about put an
end to all this Timmy nonsense.
344
00:13:29,768 --> 00:13:31,645
Timmy, Timmy, Timmy!
345
00:13:34,105 --> 00:13:35,524
Another great show, man.
346
00:13:35,649 --> 00:13:37,234
There must have been
100,000 people out there.
347
00:13:37,359 --> 00:13:39,486
Yeah, all of them
chanting, "Timmy, Timmy".
348
00:13:39,611 --> 00:13:40,695
Timmy!
349
00:13:40,821 --> 00:13:42,489
What's the matter, Skylar?
350
00:13:42,614 --> 00:13:44,991
The name of the band is
"Timmy and the Lords
of the Underworld",
351
00:13:45,116 --> 00:13:46,076
not just "Timmy".
352
00:13:46,201 --> 00:13:47,410
Timmy.
353
00:13:47,536 --> 00:13:48,620
And the Lords
of the Underworld.
354
00:13:48,745 --> 00:13:49,704
Timmy!
355
00:13:49,830 --> 00:13:51,373
It's all about
you, isn't it?
356
00:13:51,498 --> 00:13:52,499
I'm sick of it!
357
00:13:52,624 --> 00:13:53,792
Timmy gets all
the applause.
358
00:13:53,917 --> 00:13:55,418
Timmy gets all
the chicks.
359
00:13:55,544 --> 00:13:58,046
Well, you know what,
forget you, man.
360
00:13:58,171 --> 00:14:00,382
But, Timmy is what
made our band famous.
361
00:14:00,507 --> 00:14:01,800
Shut up, Malsey.
362
00:14:01,925 --> 00:14:04,427
You can stay and deal with
Mr. Egomaniac here,
363
00:14:04,553 --> 00:14:05,595
but I'm moving on.
364
00:14:05,720 --> 00:14:07,889
I don't need Timmy,
I'm going solo.
365
00:14:08,014 --> 00:14:09,224
Timmy.
366
00:14:09,349 --> 00:14:10,851
No, don't try
and stop me, man.
367
00:14:10,976 --> 00:14:13,228
I'll see you
on fame's backside.
368
00:14:13,353 --> 00:14:16,398
Liba-la!
369
00:14:18,441 --> 00:14:20,360
Hey, Terrence, what brand
of pants am I wearing?
370
00:14:20,485 --> 00:14:21,152
Let me see.
371
00:14:22,070 --> 00:14:23,196
Ha ha!
Ha ha!
372
00:14:23,321 --> 00:14:24,573
Let's watch
something else.
373
00:14:24,698 --> 00:14:25,657
Yes, let's.
374
00:14:25,782 --> 00:14:27,450
You're watching VH-1.
375
00:14:27,576 --> 00:14:29,244
Ah...
Ah...
Ah...
376
00:14:29,369 --> 00:14:32,038
Here's Lollapala's news,
the hit group, Timmy
has broken up.
377
00:14:32,163 --> 00:14:33,957
Oh, dear,
Timmy's band broke up.
378
00:14:34,082 --> 00:14:36,293
And so Phil Collins
is back on as headliner.
379
00:14:36,418 --> 00:14:40,046
The opening band now will be
Timmy's guitarist skylar's
new solo project,
380
00:14:40,171 --> 00:14:41,631
"Reach for the Skylar".
381
00:14:41,756 --> 00:14:43,508
You know something,
I think that's good.
382
00:14:43,633 --> 00:14:45,135
It was wrong to
make Timmy a singer.
383
00:14:45,260 --> 00:14:46,636
Yeah, Phil Collins
was right.
384
00:14:46,761 --> 00:14:48,346
People laughed
at Timmy.
385
00:14:48,471 --> 00:14:50,390
And Timmy should be at home
protected from laughter.
386
00:14:50,515 --> 00:14:52,142
I agree.
387
00:14:52,267 --> 00:14:54,227
You know what, you guys, we
should go to the concert anyway,
388
00:14:54,352 --> 00:14:55,854
and see Phil Collins.
389
00:14:55,979 --> 00:14:58,690
Yeah, I think Phil Collins
rocks the house.
390
00:14:58,815 --> 00:15:01,151
Sounds good,
so it's decided,
391
00:15:01,276 --> 00:15:03,361
Phil Collins' concert
for all of us.
392
00:15:03,486 --> 00:15:04,821
Hoo-ray.
393
00:15:04,946 --> 00:15:06,573
Oh, oh,
hold still Kenny.
394
00:15:08,783 --> 00:15:10,952
Oh, my goodness,
you killed Kenny.
395
00:15:11,077 --> 00:15:12,370
Bastard.
396
00:15:13,830 --> 00:15:15,206
Parents, I called
all you guys together,
397
00:15:15,332 --> 00:15:16,541
because I think you
might be making a mistake
398
00:15:16,666 --> 00:15:18,084
putting your children
on ritalin.
399
00:15:18,209 --> 00:15:20,045
But, our kids have
Attention Deficit Disorder,
400
00:15:20,170 --> 00:15:22,339
they can't pay attention
in school without it.
401
00:15:22,464 --> 00:15:23,840
I know you want
to help your kids,
402
00:15:23,965 --> 00:15:25,508
but I brought over
a videotape to show you
403
00:15:25,634 --> 00:15:27,802
that there are
alternatives to ritalin.
404
00:15:27,928 --> 00:15:29,554
There is a doctor
in Northern California
405
00:15:29,679 --> 00:15:33,099
who is doing really
amazing things with
kids who have A.D.D.
406
00:15:33,224 --> 00:15:34,935
I want you
watch this tape.
407
00:15:35,060 --> 00:15:38,313
Hello, I'm Dr. Richard Shay,
408
00:15:38,438 --> 00:15:41,191
here to tell you about my
exciting new drug-free treatment
409
00:15:41,316 --> 00:15:43,360
for children with
Attention Deficit Disorder.
410
00:15:43,485 --> 00:15:44,736
Ya-ya...
Ya-ya...
Ya-ya...
411
00:15:44,861 --> 00:15:47,238
This treatment is
fast and effective
412
00:15:47,364 --> 00:15:48,907
and doesn't use
harmful drugs.
413
00:15:49,032 --> 00:15:51,201
Watch closely as I apply
treatment to the first child.
414
00:15:51,326 --> 00:15:52,285
I want a horse--
415
00:15:52,410 --> 00:15:53,244
I want a
big brown horse
416
00:15:53,370 --> 00:15:54,412
with a fluffy black tail--
417
00:15:54,537 --> 00:15:56,748
Sit down and study!!
418
00:15:56,873 --> 00:15:59,125
Oh, let's go race--
419
00:15:59,250 --> 00:16:01,878
Sit down and study!!
420
00:16:02,003 --> 00:16:03,755
Wahhh, aah--
421
00:16:03,880 --> 00:16:06,508
Stop crying and
do your schoolwork!
422
00:16:06,633 --> 00:16:10,428
If you would like more
information on my bold
new treatments,
423
00:16:10,553 --> 00:16:13,306
please send away
from this brochure entitled
424
00:16:13,431 --> 00:16:16,351
"You Can Either Calm Down,
or I Can Pop You in
the Mouth Again."
425
00:16:16,476 --> 00:16:18,937
Well, what do you think.
426
00:16:19,062 --> 00:16:21,856
I can have Dr. Shay come to
South Park for a small fee.
427
00:16:21,982 --> 00:16:23,608
That video had
pretty colors.
428
00:16:23,733 --> 00:16:25,068
It sure did.
429
00:16:25,193 --> 00:16:26,903
What the-?
430
00:16:27,028 --> 00:16:28,655
Dammit, have you all been taking
your children's ritalin too?
431
00:16:28,780 --> 00:16:29,656
Yes.
Yes.
Yes.
432
00:16:29,781 --> 00:16:31,491
Oh, fudge it.
433
00:16:31,616 --> 00:16:32,409
Chef, are you going to the
Phil Collins concert tomorrow?
434
00:16:32,534 --> 00:16:33,868
The what?
435
00:16:33,994 --> 00:16:35,245
Phil Collins is playing
Lollapalalas
436
00:16:35,370 --> 00:16:36,788
and because we're all doing
so well in school now
437
00:16:36,913 --> 00:16:38,206
our parents said
they would take us.
438
00:16:38,331 --> 00:16:40,208
Yes.
Yes.
Yes.
439
00:16:40,333 --> 00:16:42,752
Hold on a second, you children,
want to go see Phil Collins.
440
00:16:42,877 --> 00:16:45,088
Yes, his flowing melodies
are really enjoyable to us.
441
00:16:45,213 --> 00:16:46,923
Oh, my God!
442
00:16:47,048 --> 00:16:48,550
Come, see him with us.
443
00:16:48,675 --> 00:16:53,346
Yes, come with us,
come with us.
444
00:16:53,471 --> 00:16:55,974
Ahhh, it's Christina Aguillera
again, she's on my back.
445
00:16:56,099 --> 00:16:59,936
That does it, the ritalin
has affected your little
cracker brains too deeply.
446
00:17:00,061 --> 00:17:02,772
I'm going to see
that damn pharmacist.
447
00:17:02,897 --> 00:17:04,649
Look at that, ritalin stocks
are up ten points.
448
00:17:04,774 --> 00:17:06,359
That's easily another
20 grand apiece.
449
00:17:06,484 --> 00:17:11,406
Hey, open
this damn door!
450
00:17:11,531 --> 00:17:12,490
Can I help you?
451
00:17:12,615 --> 00:17:13,658
Yes, you can.
452
00:17:13,783 --> 00:17:14,826
What the hell are
you two doing
453
00:17:14,951 --> 00:17:16,327
prescribing all
the children ritalin.
454
00:17:16,453 --> 00:17:18,455
Well, they've all been
diagnosed with A.D.D.
455
00:17:18,580 --> 00:17:19,664
That's Attention Deficit--
456
00:17:19,789 --> 00:17:21,666
I know what it is,
but now you've got
457
00:17:21,791 --> 00:17:22,751
a town full of
zombie children
458
00:17:22,876 --> 00:17:24,044
from the planet Zandor.
459
00:17:24,169 --> 00:17:24,919
Huh?
460
00:17:25,045 --> 00:17:26,337
All around the country,
461
00:17:26,463 --> 00:17:28,381
you bastard doctors are
giving children ritalin,
462
00:17:28,506 --> 00:17:30,341
and for every one child
that actually needs it
463
00:17:30,467 --> 00:17:32,343
you give it to
50,000 that don't.
464
00:17:32,469 --> 00:17:34,345
Hey now, don't tell us
our business, Mr. Chef--
465
00:17:34,471 --> 00:17:36,347
you damn right I'll
tell you your business,
466
00:17:36,473 --> 00:17:38,725
because you two have
your heads up your asses.
467
00:17:38,850 --> 00:17:42,270
Thanks to you we have
children in our town
that like Phil Collins.
468
00:17:42,395 --> 00:17:43,730
What?!
469
00:17:43,855 --> 00:17:45,648
That's right, you made them
so dull and boring
470
00:17:45,774 --> 00:17:47,901
that they're actually going to
go to a Phil Collins concert.
471
00:17:48,026 --> 00:17:50,612
My God,
what have we done?
472
00:17:50,737 --> 00:17:52,155
But, if I'd known.
473
00:17:52,280 --> 00:17:53,990
I mean, Phil
Collins, my God.
474
00:17:55,909 --> 00:17:57,786
Well, how do we
reverse the ritalin?
475
00:17:57,911 --> 00:17:59,788
We have to convince
them not to take it,
476
00:17:59,913 --> 00:18:01,372
but it'll be hard
to get it away from them.
477
00:18:01,498 --> 00:18:03,041
Then we need
an antidote.
478
00:18:03,166 --> 00:18:04,417
Yes, of course.
479
00:18:04,542 --> 00:18:06,211
What's the antidote
for ritalin?
480
00:18:06,336 --> 00:18:09,089
I have some right here,
it's a compound called ritalout.
481
00:18:09,214 --> 00:18:11,132
We've got to get the antidote
to all the children, quick!
482
00:18:23,770 --> 00:18:25,605
Here, we can put the ritalin
antidote in these drinks
483
00:18:25,730 --> 00:18:27,482
and hand them out
to the children.
484
00:18:32,904 --> 00:18:33,780
Oh, wasn't
that great son?
485
00:18:33,905 --> 00:18:35,782
It sure was, Dad.
486
00:18:35,907 --> 00:18:37,700
It's so wonderful to be on the
same wavelength as our kids.
487
00:18:37,826 --> 00:18:40,328
Here you go, Stan and Kyle,
free drinks on me.
488
00:18:40,453 --> 00:18:42,997
Oh, thank you, Chef,
how nice.
489
00:18:43,123 --> 00:18:48,670
And now, I'd like to sing
the complex and amazing song
that won me the Oscar.
490
00:18:48,795 --> 00:18:53,591
A song entitled,
You Be in Me.
491
00:19:10,108 --> 00:19:11,651
Come on drink
it down, it's free.
492
00:19:15,280 --> 00:19:17,198
Arr...
Oh noo!
493
00:19:17,323 --> 00:19:19,367
Get off me,
get off me!
494
00:19:19,492 --> 00:19:20,869
Somebody help.
495
00:19:20,994 --> 00:19:22,996
I feel... Different.
496
00:19:23,121 --> 00:19:24,372
Yeah.
497
00:19:24,497 --> 00:19:25,832
Get off me
Christina Aguillera.
498
00:19:25,957 --> 00:19:28,168
Drink this, Eric.
499
00:19:28,293 --> 00:19:30,003
God, help me.
500
00:19:30,128 --> 00:19:31,754
She's gone.
501
00:19:31,880 --> 00:19:32,922
Thank God.
502
00:19:33,047 --> 00:19:35,800
What makes...
503
00:19:37,927 --> 00:19:41,306
Wait a minute,
Phil Collins sucks ass!
504
00:19:41,431 --> 00:19:42,807
Yeah, what the hell
were we thinking?
505
00:19:42,932 --> 00:19:44,225
Boo!
506
00:19:44,350 --> 00:19:45,852
I think
it's working.
507
00:19:45,977 --> 00:19:47,812
Boo!
Boo!
Boo!
508
00:19:47,937 --> 00:19:50,273
Shut your filthy holes
you little bastards!
509
00:19:50,398 --> 00:19:51,566
Get off the stage
Phil Collins!
510
00:19:51,691 --> 00:19:52,817
We want Timmy!
511
00:19:52,942 --> 00:19:53,902
Yeah.
512
00:19:54,027 --> 00:19:55,486
You just want to
laugh at him.
513
00:19:55,612 --> 00:19:58,072
No, you see we learned
something today.
514
00:19:58,198 --> 00:19:59,365
Yeah sure,
we laughed at Timmy,
515
00:19:59,490 --> 00:20:00,992
but what's wrong
with laughter?
516
00:20:01,117 --> 00:20:02,368
Just because
we laugh at something
517
00:20:02,493 --> 00:20:03,953
doesn't mean we don't
care about it.
518
00:20:04,078 --> 00:20:05,747
Timmy made us smile and
playing made Timmy smile,
519
00:20:05,872 --> 00:20:07,832
so where is
the harm in that?
520
00:20:07,957 --> 00:20:09,834
The people in the wrong,
are the people who think
Timmy should be protected
521
00:20:09,959 --> 00:20:11,711
and kept out of the
public's eye.
522
00:20:11,836 --> 00:20:13,338
The cool thing about
Timmy being in a band
523
00:20:13,463 --> 00:20:15,757
was that he was in your face,
and you had to deal with him.
524
00:20:15,882 --> 00:20:17,383
Whether you laughed
or cried or felt nothing.
525
00:20:17,508 --> 00:20:18,968
That's why
Timmy rules.
526
00:20:19,093 --> 00:20:20,094
Yeah.
527
00:20:20,220 --> 00:20:21,221
Timmy, Timmy!
528
00:20:21,346 --> 00:20:22,305
Timmy!
Timmy!
Timmy!
529
00:20:22,430 --> 00:20:24,224
Timmy!
Timmy!
Timmy!
530
00:20:24,349 --> 00:20:26,851
Man it sucks not being
part of Lollapalabala.
531
00:20:26,976 --> 00:20:28,019
Yeah.
532
00:20:28,144 --> 00:20:29,437
Hey dudes.
533
00:20:29,562 --> 00:20:31,022
Skylar, what are
you doing here?
534
00:20:31,147 --> 00:20:33,066
Isn't "Reach for the Skylar"
supposed to play soon?
535
00:20:33,191 --> 00:20:35,318
They booed Phil Collins
off the stage.
536
00:20:35,443 --> 00:20:36,778
Everyone is
chanting for
537
00:20:36,903 --> 00:20:38,696
"Timmy and the
Lords of the Underworld".
538
00:20:38,821 --> 00:20:41,616
So now that they want us
you think you can just
539
00:20:41,741 --> 00:20:43,493
waltz back into our lives
and be in the band again?
540
00:20:43,618 --> 00:20:45,245
I don't expect
anything.
541
00:20:45,370 --> 00:20:47,705
Timmy, I just
wanted to say
542
00:20:47,830 --> 00:20:49,916
we had some pretty
rocking times, dude.
543
00:20:50,041 --> 00:20:52,418
And maybe I let fame and
Phil Collins go to my head.
544
00:20:52,543 --> 00:20:54,504
Timmy!
Timmy!
Timmy!
545
00:20:54,629 --> 00:20:56,339
Timmy!
Timmy!
Timmy!
546
00:20:56,464 --> 00:20:58,174
Wow, they really are
chanting for us.
547
00:20:58,299 --> 00:20:59,634
They want us back.
548
00:20:59,759 --> 00:21:01,261
What do you say, Timmy?
549
00:21:01,386 --> 00:21:03,054
Timmy.
550
00:21:03,179 --> 00:21:04,639
Alright!
- Alright!
551
00:21:04,764 --> 00:21:06,808
Ladies and gentlemen,
without further ado
552
00:21:06,933 --> 00:21:11,980
it is my pleasure to introduce
the reunion tour of Timmy.
553
00:21:12,730 --> 00:21:15,566
Timmy and the Lords
of the Underworld.
554
00:21:18,987 --> 00:21:19,612
Timmy!
555
00:21:22,448 --> 00:21:23,032
Timmy!
556
00:21:23,157 --> 00:21:25,034
Yimmyyah!
557
00:21:29,956 --> 00:21:31,624
Timmy-Timmy.
558
00:21:31,749 --> 00:21:33,084
Timmy-Timmy.
559
00:21:34,627 --> 00:21:37,005
Put me down
you filthy bastards!
560
00:21:37,130 --> 00:21:39,048
Ah... Arrr!
561
00:21:39,173 --> 00:21:41,134
Timmy, liv-a-lar!
562
00:21:42,719 --> 00:21:44,595
Boo cha ka...
563
00:21:46,139 --> 00:21:47,890
Timmy, Timmy, Timmy.
564
00:21:49,892 --> 00:21:53,479
Timmy.
565
00:21:59,986 --> 00:22:01,654
Timmy, Timmy, Timmy!
566
00:22:02,405 --> 00:22:03,573
Tim-mah!!
40709
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