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1
00:00:38,748 --> 00:00:40,374
Okay, are you guys ready
up there?
2
00:00:40,499 --> 00:00:41,459
Ready!
3
00:00:41,584 --> 00:00:43,919
On your marks, get set, go!
4
00:00:45,629 --> 00:00:47,673
We win again!
- That's not fair!
5
00:00:47,798 --> 00:00:50,342
Cartman's ass is so fat,
he makes your sled go faster.
6
00:00:50,468 --> 00:00:51,719
Hey, don't call me fat, Token.
7
00:00:51,844 --> 00:00:53,804
We want to use the sleds now,
butt pirates.
8
00:00:53,929 --> 00:00:54,847
Sleds are for guys.
9
00:00:54,972 --> 00:00:56,390
Yeah, why don't you chicks
10
00:00:56,515 --> 00:00:58,184
go wash some dishes
or get pregnant or something?
11
00:00:58,309 --> 00:01:00,436
These are the school's sleds,
ass farmers, not yours.
12
00:01:00,561 --> 00:01:01,937
Look, girls don't even know
how to sled.
13
00:01:02,063 --> 00:01:03,606
- Do something else.
- Yeah!
14
00:01:03,731 --> 00:01:05,149
I bet we can slide
ten times better than you,
15
00:01:05,274 --> 00:01:06,150
donut punchers.
16
00:01:06,275 --> 00:01:07,818
- Oh, yeah?
- Yeah!
17
00:01:07,943 --> 00:01:09,195
We'd kick your girlie asses
sledding!
18
00:01:09,320 --> 00:01:10,654
How about a race
down a real hill then?
19
00:01:10,780 --> 00:01:11,655
Yeah!
20
00:01:11,781 --> 00:01:13,282
- You got it!
- Yeah!
21
00:01:13,407 --> 00:01:15,785
Your best four sledders
against our best four sledders.
22
00:01:15,910 --> 00:01:17,078
No problem.
23
00:01:17,203 --> 00:01:18,079
Then we'll see you
this Saturday
24
00:01:18,204 --> 00:01:19,497
on Phil Collins Hill.
25
00:01:19,622 --> 00:01:20,581
Phil Collins Hill
on Saturday.
26
00:01:20,706 --> 00:01:21,957
You got it!
See you there.
27
00:01:22,083 --> 00:01:24,877
And may the best woman win,
turd burglars!
28
00:01:25,002 --> 00:01:26,629
Oh, boy!
We'll show them!
29
00:01:26,754 --> 00:01:28,923
Yeah, why, those men will show
those skanky hoes who's who!
30
00:01:29,048 --> 00:01:31,008
Yeah, those girls
don't realize what good sledders
31
00:01:31,133 --> 00:01:32,593
Stan, Kyle, and Kenny are.
32
00:01:32,718 --> 00:01:34,220
Yeah, and with Cartman's
enormously fat ass,
33
00:01:34,345 --> 00:01:35,805
the boys are sure to win!
34
00:01:35,930 --> 00:01:37,640
Token, I swear to God,
you call me fat one more time,
35
00:01:37,765 --> 00:01:39,391
I'm gonna smack you in the head
with this rock.
36
00:01:39,517 --> 00:01:41,769
Fat ass.
- Ow!
37
00:01:41,894 --> 00:01:44,438
Heh. Oh.
Uh-oh.
38
00:01:44,563 --> 00:01:45,981
And what you need
to understand
39
00:01:46,107 --> 00:01:48,984
is that this is not appropriate
behavior, young man, mm-kay?
40
00:01:49,110 --> 00:01:50,528
Eric, don't you realize
you could have
41
00:01:50,653 --> 00:01:52,154
seriously injured
your little friend?
42
00:01:52,279 --> 00:01:53,739
I'm sorry, ma'am.
43
00:01:53,864 --> 00:01:55,783
Don't apologize to us.
Apologize to him.
44
00:01:55,908 --> 00:01:57,368
I'm sorry, Token.
45
00:01:57,493 --> 00:01:58,702
Well, I hope you learned
46
00:01:58,828 --> 00:02:00,538
that throwing rocks
at people is bad, Eric.
47
00:02:00,663 --> 00:02:03,165
I sure did, Mr. Mackey.
I mean, I feel really bad.
48
00:02:03,290 --> 00:02:04,667
What was I thinking?
49
00:02:04,792 --> 00:02:07,211
The only thing I can do now
is try to go on
50
00:02:07,336 --> 00:02:08,254
and live day by day.
51
00:02:08,379 --> 00:02:09,255
See you later!
52
00:02:09,380 --> 00:02:10,881
Not this time, Eric.
53
00:02:11,006 --> 00:02:12,758
You've got to learn to respect
your little friends.
54
00:02:12,883 --> 00:02:15,177
You're gonna have detention
for two weeks.
55
00:02:15,302 --> 00:02:17,847
No way!
- Yes way, mm-kay?
56
00:02:17,972 --> 00:02:19,223
And that settles it!
Now, let's all go--
57
00:02:19,348 --> 00:02:21,058
Counselor Mackey?
- Yes?
58
00:02:21,183 --> 00:02:22,977
I'm Agent Sharp,
and this is Agent Keen.
59
00:02:23,102 --> 00:02:24,895
We're with the FBI.
60
00:02:25,020 --> 00:02:28,774
We're here to investigate
the rock-throwing incident.
61
00:02:28,899 --> 00:02:30,776
Well, okay, I've already
taken care of it.
62
00:02:30,901 --> 00:02:32,194
Eric Cartman, here,
is gonna be punished
63
00:02:32,319 --> 00:02:33,863
with two weeks of detention.
64
00:02:33,988 --> 00:02:35,447
I'm afraid it's a bit
more complicated than that,
65
00:02:35,573 --> 00:02:36,740
Mr. School Counselor.
66
00:02:36,866 --> 00:02:38,242
You see, since the victim
in this case
67
00:02:38,367 --> 00:02:43,372
Is African-American,
this is considered a hate crime.
68
00:02:43,497 --> 00:02:45,040
What the hell is a hate crime?
69
00:02:45,166 --> 00:02:46,667
Uh, oh. But I don't think
this is--
70
00:02:46,792 --> 00:02:48,169
New laws have been passed
that make any crime
71
00:02:48,294 --> 00:02:49,753
based on race, ethnicity,
72
00:02:49,879 --> 00:02:51,422
or sexual orientation
a federal offense.
73
00:02:51,547 --> 00:02:53,007
What?
A federal offense?
74
00:02:53,132 --> 00:02:54,758
Oh, no.
- Oh, no?
75
00:02:54,884 --> 00:02:56,969
We're sorry, Ms. Cartman,
but we must follow protocol.
76
00:02:57,094 --> 00:02:58,470
Your son will be taken
into custody
77
00:02:58,596 --> 00:03:02,183
and then tried
in the federal court of law.
78
00:03:02,308 --> 00:03:03,976
Oh, my goodness!
79
00:03:04,101 --> 00:03:06,437
The hate crime trial
of the century is under way,
80
00:03:06,562 --> 00:03:08,314
and Court TV takes you there.
Live!
81
00:03:08,439 --> 00:03:10,191
Here's your host,
Leslie Smith.
82
00:03:10,316 --> 00:03:12,401
What turns a normal,
fat little eight-year-old boy
83
00:03:12,526 --> 00:03:14,695
into a vicious,
hate-crime-committing racist?
84
00:03:14,820 --> 00:03:16,405
We take you live
to the courtroom
85
00:03:16,530 --> 00:03:18,741
as the defendant
takes the stand.
86
00:03:18,866 --> 00:03:21,827
Mr. Cartman, do you know
a boy by the name of Token?
87
00:03:21,952 --> 00:03:23,913
Uh, yes.
- Who is Token?
88
00:03:24,038 --> 00:03:25,956
He's a black kid
that goes to my school.
89
00:03:26,081 --> 00:03:28,667
Black! Did you say "black"?
You called him "black"?
90
00:03:28,792 --> 00:03:30,961
He is black.
- Oh, he said it again!
91
00:03:32,004 --> 00:03:33,005
He is African-American,
92
00:03:33,130 --> 00:03:34,173
and so you decided
to pick him out.
93
00:03:34,298 --> 00:03:35,716
I did?
94
00:03:35,841 --> 00:03:37,343
The rage built and built
inside your head
95
00:03:37,468 --> 00:03:38,636
until it became too much,
96
00:03:38,761 --> 00:03:40,471
because you hate
African-Americans!
97
00:03:40,596 --> 00:03:41,805
No! I hate hippies!
- What?
98
00:03:41,931 --> 00:03:43,390
I hate hippies
and the way they always talk
99
00:03:43,515 --> 00:03:45,643
about protecting the Earth
and then drive around in cars
100
00:03:45,768 --> 00:03:47,770
that get poor gas mileage
and wear those stupid bracelets!
101
00:03:47,895 --> 00:03:49,355
I hate them!
I want to kick them in the nuts!
102
00:03:49,480 --> 00:03:50,564
Ooh, poopy-kins--
103
00:03:50,689 --> 00:03:52,066
Ladies and gentlemen
of the jury,
104
00:03:52,191 --> 00:03:54,443
this is why we have
hate crime laws.
105
00:03:54,568 --> 00:03:56,070
This monster committed a crime,
106
00:03:56,195 --> 00:03:58,948
not against an individual
but against a race.
107
00:03:59,073 --> 00:04:00,241
Do the democratic thing
108
00:04:00,366 --> 00:04:02,326
and send his fat little butt
to prison.
109
00:04:02,451 --> 00:04:03,744
Hey! Don't call me fat, asshole!
110
00:04:03,869 --> 00:04:05,788
The prosecution rests.
111
00:04:05,913 --> 00:04:07,915
Don't forget;
we still have that sledding race
112
00:04:08,040 --> 00:04:09,500
this Saturday, pillow biters.
113
00:04:09,625 --> 00:04:10,960
- We know.
- Dude, this is horrible.
114
00:04:11,085 --> 00:04:12,336
We got to get Cartman
out of court
115
00:04:12,461 --> 00:04:14,129
so we can go practice.
116
00:04:14,255 --> 00:04:16,006
Eric Cartman,
you have been found guilty
117
00:04:16,131 --> 00:04:17,424
of committing a hate crime.
118
00:04:17,549 --> 00:04:19,009
For this, I hereby sentence you
119
00:04:19,134 --> 00:04:21,845
to the Alamosa Juvenile Hall
until you turn 21.
120
00:04:21,971 --> 00:04:23,097
No!
121
00:04:23,222 --> 00:04:24,765
I am making an example of you
122
00:04:24,890 --> 00:04:27,268
to send a message out
to people everywhere
123
00:04:27,393 --> 00:04:29,812
that if you want to hurt
another human being,
124
00:04:29,937 --> 00:04:31,146
you better make damn sure
125
00:04:31,272 --> 00:04:33,691
they're the same color
as you are.
126
00:04:36,735 --> 00:04:38,404
Court is adjourned.
127
00:04:38,529 --> 00:04:40,197
Yahoo! Hooray!
128
00:04:40,322 --> 00:04:42,324
Bailiffs, escort this little
bastard to juvenile hall.
129
00:04:42,449 --> 00:04:43,909
Yes, sir.
130
00:04:44,034 --> 00:04:46,578
Alright, you!
Uh, where'd he go?
131
00:04:49,540 --> 00:04:50,791
Kenny! Kenny!
132
00:04:50,916 --> 00:04:52,543
You have to get me out of town!
133
00:04:52,668 --> 00:04:54,295
They're gonna put me
in jail for a hate crime.
134
00:04:54,420 --> 00:04:56,297
You have to take me to Mexico!
- Mexico?
135
00:04:56,422 --> 00:04:57,464
Ooh!
136
00:04:57,589 --> 00:04:59,008
Calm down, Kenny!
- Hey!
137
00:04:59,133 --> 00:05:00,634
Do you still have
that battery-powered toy truck
138
00:05:00,759 --> 00:05:01,635
you got last Christmas?
139
00:05:01,760 --> 00:05:02,636
Yeah.
- Well, come on.
140
00:05:02,761 --> 00:05:03,637
I don't have much time!
141
00:05:14,440 --> 00:05:15,899
A car chase is evolving
142
00:05:16,025 --> 00:05:18,193
on the 285 Corridor
east of South Park.
143
00:05:18,319 --> 00:05:19,778
Hate crime suspect
Eric Cartman
144
00:05:19,903 --> 00:05:21,697
is trying to outrun
federal prosecutors
145
00:05:21,822 --> 00:05:23,657
in his friend's
Go-Go Action Bronco.
146
00:05:23,782 --> 00:05:25,284
Our eye in the sky,
Greg Nimens, is there live.
147
00:05:25,409 --> 00:05:26,869
Greg?
148
00:05:26,994 --> 00:05:28,454
Tom, it looks like
the Go-Go Action Bronco
149
00:05:28,579 --> 00:05:30,414
is heading east on 285.
150
00:05:30,539 --> 00:05:32,291
Police officers are
right behind him,
151
00:05:32,416 --> 00:05:33,375
but as with any chase,
152
00:05:33,500 --> 00:05:34,877
they're keeping a safe distance
153
00:05:35,002 --> 00:05:36,420
to avoid any accidents here
out on the highway.
154
00:05:36,545 --> 00:05:38,505
Tom, it looks like the fugitive
is going to make a bold move
155
00:05:38,630 --> 00:05:40,090
off an exit of 285.
156
00:05:40,215 --> 00:05:41,842
He's going into a residential
neighborhood now.
157
00:05:41,967 --> 00:05:43,385
This is where
it could get dangerous
158
00:05:43,510 --> 00:05:44,928
as there are pedestrians about.
159
00:05:45,054 --> 00:05:46,638
Damn it, Kenny!
Can't this thing go any faster?
160
00:05:46,764 --> 00:05:47,931
I'm going as fast as I can.
161
00:05:48,057 --> 00:05:49,266
Tom, the police
have set a roadblock
162
00:05:49,391 --> 00:05:51,310
right where the Go-Go
Action Bronco is heading.
163
00:05:51,435 --> 00:05:53,228
This could be
the final standoff.
164
00:05:53,354 --> 00:05:54,897
Alright,
that's far enough.
165
00:05:55,022 --> 00:05:57,733
Stop the Go-Go Action Bronco
and come out with your hands up.
166
00:05:59,485 --> 00:06:01,737
Just bring it to a stop
and come on out.
167
00:06:05,407 --> 00:06:06,992
Jesus!
He's gonna ram it!
168
00:06:21,965 --> 00:06:23,884
Crazy son of a bitch.
169
00:06:24,009 --> 00:06:26,220
Well, it's been
over 13 hours now,
170
00:06:26,345 --> 00:06:28,263
and still the car chase
has not ended.
171
00:06:28,389 --> 00:06:29,932
What the hell are they doing?
172
00:06:30,057 --> 00:06:31,558
The chase has now moved
through most of Arizona
173
00:06:31,683 --> 00:06:32,893
and nears the Mexican border.
174
00:06:33,018 --> 00:06:34,561
Dude, if Kenny takes Cartman
to Mexico,
175
00:06:34,686 --> 00:06:36,730
how are we ever gonna win
the sledding race on Saturday?
176
00:06:36,855 --> 00:06:38,148
Don't worry, dude;
that little truck
177
00:06:38,273 --> 00:06:39,441
just runs on "D" batteries.
178
00:06:39,566 --> 00:06:40,818
It's gonna run
out of juice soon.
179
00:06:42,694 --> 00:06:43,695
We're gonna make it, Kenny!
180
00:06:43,821 --> 00:06:44,822
We're gonna make it to Mexico!
181
00:06:48,075 --> 00:06:49,493
Oh, God damn it!
182
00:06:54,415 --> 00:06:55,874
Hello?
183
00:06:55,999 --> 00:06:57,793
Cartman's going to jail,
184
00:06:57,918 --> 00:07:00,504
and you've got four days
until the race, rump rangers.
185
00:07:00,629 --> 00:07:02,131
Son of a bitch!
186
00:07:07,761 --> 00:07:09,847
Here we are.
The end of the road.
187
00:07:40,419 --> 00:07:43,797
Prisoner 24601, arriving.
188
00:07:43,922 --> 00:07:45,007
Forward, prisoner.
189
00:07:45,132 --> 00:07:47,176
You will wake up each morning
at 0500.
190
00:07:47,301 --> 00:07:49,595
Lockdown is until 0900.
191
00:07:49,720 --> 00:07:50,971
At 10:00, we begin
random searches
192
00:07:51,096 --> 00:07:52,639
and checks for contraband.
193
00:07:52,764 --> 00:07:56,310
At 11:30, we have nap time,
followed by finger painting.
194
00:07:56,435 --> 00:07:59,188
Your cellmate is Romper Stomper.
195
00:07:59,313 --> 00:08:01,398
- Romper Stomper?
- Not Romper.
196
00:08:01,523 --> 00:08:02,983
Who's Romper Stomper?
197
00:08:03,108 --> 00:08:05,486
I am.
198
00:08:05,611 --> 00:08:07,988
And I don't want
no new cellmate.
199
00:08:08,113 --> 00:08:09,656
You don't have a choice,
Stomper.
200
00:08:09,781 --> 00:08:11,950
Now, show this new prisoner
the ropes.
201
00:08:12,075 --> 00:08:15,496
Oh, I will.
You bet your ass I will.
202
00:08:17,080 --> 00:08:18,373
Alright, guys, it looks like
203
00:08:18,499 --> 00:08:20,042
Cartman's not gonna be able
to sled with us
204
00:08:20,167 --> 00:08:22,044
for about another...13 years,
so in the meantime,
205
00:08:22,169 --> 00:08:24,296
we need someone to race with us
against the girls on Saturday.
206
00:08:24,421 --> 00:08:26,173
Yeah, Cartman's weight
was what gave us speed,
207
00:08:26,298 --> 00:08:29,134
so we need to find the next
fattest kid besides Cartman.
208
00:08:29,259 --> 00:08:31,803
Come on, who's the second
fattest kid in South Park?
209
00:08:31,929 --> 00:08:33,847
I think Clyde is
the next fattest kid.
210
00:08:33,972 --> 00:08:34,890
Huh?
- Yeah.
211
00:08:35,015 --> 00:08:36,225
Okay, get over here, Clyde.
212
00:08:36,350 --> 00:08:37,726
I'm not fat.
- Deal with it, dude.
213
00:08:37,851 --> 00:08:39,019
Cartman's gone,
so now you're the fat kid.
214
00:08:39,144 --> 00:08:41,021
Yeah, fat-ass.
Get your fat butt on the sled.
215
00:08:41,146 --> 00:08:42,981
Hey, I'm not fat, you guys.
I'm just kind of big-boned.
216
00:08:43,106 --> 00:08:44,358
Yeah, that's what they
all say.
217
00:08:44,483 --> 00:08:45,776
Okay, ready?
Go!
218
00:08:48,529 --> 00:08:49,696
Aw, gay, dude!
219
00:08:49,821 --> 00:08:51,698
We don't even have enough weight
to move.
220
00:08:51,823 --> 00:08:53,450
See you Saturday,
poo stabbers.
221
00:08:53,575 --> 00:08:54,701
Nice going, fat boy.
222
00:08:57,746 --> 00:08:59,831
Well, well, well.
New fish.
223
00:08:59,957 --> 00:09:01,250
How about you come up
with a reason
224
00:09:01,375 --> 00:09:02,751
why we don't break your arms?
225
00:09:02,876 --> 00:09:04,211
Yeah!
226
00:09:04,336 --> 00:09:05,671
Uh, 'cause I'm just like
you guys.
227
00:09:05,796 --> 00:09:06,672
I'm one of you.
228
00:09:06,797 --> 00:09:07,714
Oh, yeah?
229
00:09:07,839 --> 00:09:09,132
The way I see it,
230
00:09:09,258 --> 00:09:10,342
There's two kinds of kids
in the world:
231
00:09:10,467 --> 00:09:12,135
kids who like Animaniacs
232
00:09:12,261 --> 00:09:14,680
and kids who don't like
Animaniacs.
233
00:09:14,805 --> 00:09:16,223
You're either with us,
or you're against us.
234
00:09:16,348 --> 00:09:17,641
So which are you?
235
00:09:17,766 --> 00:09:21,019
Oh, uh, well, personally, I--
236
00:09:21,144 --> 00:09:23,564
Uh...I...
237
00:09:23,689 --> 00:09:27,192
Don't like Animaniacs?
238
00:09:27,317 --> 00:09:29,653
Neither do we.
- Oh, thank you, Jesus.
239
00:09:29,778 --> 00:09:31,196
So we're friends now?
- No.
240
00:09:31,321 --> 00:09:33,073
There's no friends
in the big house.
241
00:09:33,198 --> 00:09:35,826
You come in with nobody,
and you leave with nobody.
242
00:09:35,951 --> 00:09:38,078
- We don't believe in "friends."
- Yeah!
243
00:09:38,203 --> 00:09:40,330
Yeah, neither do I.
Friends suck.
244
00:09:40,455 --> 00:09:42,124
Now, go find me
some cigarettes,
245
00:09:42,249 --> 00:09:44,042
and I'll tell you
how to bust out of here.
246
00:09:46,545 --> 00:09:48,463
Okay, we figured it out.
247
00:09:48,589 --> 00:09:50,507
To add more weight to the sled,
we're gonna use these bricks.
248
00:09:50,632 --> 00:09:52,259
But we're gonna cover them
with kids' clothes
249
00:09:52,384 --> 00:09:53,760
so that the girls think
it's another kid.
250
00:09:53,885 --> 00:09:55,095
Oh, that's a wonderful idea.
251
00:09:55,220 --> 00:09:56,471
So I don't get to be
on the team now?
252
00:09:56,597 --> 00:09:58,056
Shut up, fat-ass.
253
00:09:58,181 --> 00:09:59,433
Yeah, why don't you go eat
some more pork rinds
254
00:09:59,558 --> 00:10:00,934
or something, you fat fuck?
255
00:10:01,059 --> 00:10:04,563
Come on.
Let's give it a try.
256
00:10:04,688 --> 00:10:05,814
Whee!
257
00:10:07,316 --> 00:10:09,818
Whoa!
Look out! Look out!
258
00:10:09,943 --> 00:10:12,154
Dude, bail! Bail!
- Whoa!
259
00:10:12,279 --> 00:10:13,155
Huh?
260
00:10:19,786 --> 00:10:20,662
Oh, my God.
We killed Kenny.
261
00:10:20,787 --> 00:10:21,872
We killed Kenny?
262
00:10:21,997 --> 00:10:24,041
We killed Kenny.
We're bastards.
263
00:10:24,166 --> 00:10:25,542
Well, that didn't work.
What else can we try?
264
00:10:25,667 --> 00:10:26,918
Nothing else is gonna work.
265
00:10:27,044 --> 00:10:28,754
We have to face the fact
that without Cartman,
266
00:10:28,879 --> 00:10:30,047
we're gonna lose
to a bunch of girls.
267
00:10:30,172 --> 00:10:32,591
Well, I sure do hate to see
my gender lose
268
00:10:32,716 --> 00:10:33,925
to a bunch of women.
269
00:10:34,051 --> 00:10:35,761
This is a sad day
for men everywhere.
270
00:10:35,886 --> 00:10:37,304
You know something, guys?
271
00:10:37,429 --> 00:10:38,889
I think we all took
Cartman's ass for granted.
272
00:10:39,014 --> 00:10:39,890
Yup.
273
00:10:40,015 --> 00:10:41,350
If only we had realized
274
00:10:41,475 --> 00:10:43,226
how special our time
with his gigantic ass was.
275
00:10:43,352 --> 00:10:44,936
And all that time,
we didn't understand
276
00:10:45,062 --> 00:10:47,648
what a unique
and magical ass it was.
277
00:10:47,773 --> 00:10:49,524
Whoo-hoo!
Great time, girls!
278
00:10:49,650 --> 00:10:51,485
Oh, gee, looks like
you lost another sledder.
279
00:10:51,610 --> 00:10:54,529
Good luck on Saturday,
donut punchers!
280
00:10:54,655 --> 00:10:56,239
That does it!
We've got no other choice.
281
00:10:56,365 --> 00:10:57,866
We've got to bust Cartman
out of jail.
282
00:10:57,991 --> 00:10:59,201
- Huh?
- How?
283
00:10:59,326 --> 00:11:00,827
I saw a movie once
where they baked a cake
284
00:11:00,952 --> 00:11:02,329
and put a nail file
inside of it.
285
00:11:02,454 --> 00:11:05,415
Sweet! Let's go!
286
00:11:09,503 --> 00:11:10,962
And have you been brushing
your teeth?
287
00:11:11,088 --> 00:11:13,382
Yes, Mommy.
- And not dropping your soap?
288
00:11:13,507 --> 00:11:14,925
Yes, Mommy.
- Hi, Mom.
289
00:11:15,050 --> 00:11:16,426
Young man,
that is the fourth time
290
00:11:16,551 --> 00:11:17,886
you've been late
for our visiting time.
291
00:11:18,011 --> 00:11:18,887
You are grounded.
292
00:11:19,012 --> 00:11:19,888
Grounded?
Oh, no!
293
00:11:20,013 --> 00:11:21,098
Uh, wait--
294
00:11:21,223 --> 00:11:22,766
Here you go, boys.
Keep it short.
295
00:11:22,891 --> 00:11:24,434
Hey, guys.
- Hey, fat-ass, how's prison?
296
00:11:24,559 --> 00:11:26,311
Well, it sucks balls.
What do you you think?
297
00:11:26,436 --> 00:11:28,021
Cartman, why the hell did you
have to commit a hate crime?
298
00:11:28,146 --> 00:11:29,523
We're gonna lose to girls
because of you.
299
00:11:29,648 --> 00:11:30,816
Yeah, so you got to bust
out of here.
300
00:11:30,941 --> 00:11:32,442
So we made you this cake.
301
00:11:32,567 --> 00:11:34,820
There's
a ail-nay ile-fay inside of it.
302
00:11:34,945 --> 00:11:37,489
A what?
- An ail-nay ile-fay.
303
00:11:37,614 --> 00:11:39,408
What's that?
Listen, aggot-fay!
304
00:11:39,533 --> 00:11:41,785
An ail-nay ile-fay so you can
eak-bray out of ison-pray!
305
00:11:41,910 --> 00:11:43,578
Yeah, you stupid
umb-ass-day!
306
00:11:43,704 --> 00:11:45,288
I'd love to eat a cake,
you guys, but they don't let us
307
00:11:45,414 --> 00:11:46,832
take anything back
to the cells from here.
308
00:11:46,957 --> 00:11:48,083
They on't-day?
309
00:11:48,208 --> 00:11:49,251
Why the ell-hay ot-nay?
310
00:11:49,376 --> 00:11:50,377
It ook-tay our-fay ours-hay
311
00:11:50,502 --> 00:11:52,212
to ake-bay
this oddamn-gay ake-cay,
312
00:11:52,337 --> 00:11:54,423
and ow-nay, e're-way
otally-tay ewed-scray!
313
00:11:54,548 --> 00:11:56,091
Yeah.
314
00:11:56,216 --> 00:11:57,300
Look, that's not important
right now.
315
00:11:57,426 --> 00:11:59,052
Did you guys
bring the cigarettes?
316
00:11:59,177 --> 00:12:00,512
Well, we got some cigarettes,
317
00:12:00,637 --> 00:12:02,097
but we don't think
you should be smoking.
318
00:12:02,222 --> 00:12:03,598
Each year,
over a million people die of--
319
00:12:03,724 --> 00:12:05,100
Just hand over
the goddamn cigarettes!
320
00:12:05,225 --> 00:12:06,768
Shh!
- Look, if you guys want me back
321
00:12:06,893 --> 00:12:08,854
to win the sledding race,
then I need those cigarettes.
322
00:12:08,979 --> 00:12:10,313
How are we supposed
to give them to you?
323
00:12:10,439 --> 00:12:12,524
Just pass them through
these little drill holes here.
324
00:12:12,649 --> 00:12:14,401
That's what everybody does.
325
00:12:14,526 --> 00:12:16,361
But they're gonna search you
on your way back to your cell.
326
00:12:16,486 --> 00:12:19,364
I know; that's why
I have to hide them up my ass.
327
00:12:21,116 --> 00:12:22,242
Shut up, you guys!
It's not funny!
328
00:12:22,367 --> 00:12:23,243
Alright.
Here.
329
00:12:25,954 --> 00:12:28,415
Okay, there's--
330
00:12:31,585 --> 00:12:33,378
Wow, I really wish I hadn't
sat here and watched that.
331
00:12:33,503 --> 00:12:35,046
Me too.
332
00:12:35,172 --> 00:12:37,215
Okay, guys,
if you'll excuse me,
333
00:12:37,340 --> 00:12:39,009
I must be going now.
334
00:12:39,134 --> 00:12:40,260
Don't fart on your way out.
335
00:12:40,385 --> 00:12:41,386
You might make little
smoke signals.
336
00:12:43,013 --> 00:12:44,931
Ha-ha.
Very funny, you guys.
337
00:12:45,056 --> 00:12:47,392
Ha-ha.
338
00:12:47,517 --> 00:12:49,186
That sucks we couldn't give
him the nail file.
339
00:12:49,311 --> 00:12:50,479
So now what do we do?
340
00:12:50,604 --> 00:12:51,730
There's only one thing
we can do.
341
00:12:51,855 --> 00:12:53,356
We have to go see Token
342
00:12:53,482 --> 00:12:55,317
and see if he'll forgive Cartman
for hate-criming him.
343
00:12:55,442 --> 00:12:57,235
Come on.
We're running out of time.
344
00:12:57,360 --> 00:12:58,945
Well, did you get
the cigarettes?
345
00:12:59,070 --> 00:13:01,948
Yes, they are safely concealed
in the depths of my ass.
346
00:13:02,073 --> 00:13:04,242
Alright, go sit
on the toilet and poop them out.
347
00:13:04,367 --> 00:13:06,828
I'll keep an eye out
for the guards.
348
00:13:13,043 --> 00:13:14,252
Come on, you stupid cigarettes!
349
00:13:22,594 --> 00:13:24,846
Plop!
There's one...
350
00:13:33,522 --> 00:13:36,316
Plop!
Two...
351
00:13:40,445 --> 00:13:43,114
Come on!
Come on, now!
352
00:13:43,240 --> 00:13:45,242
Come on!
353
00:13:45,367 --> 00:13:47,327
Plop!
354
00:13:47,452 --> 00:13:49,746
Whew!
355
00:13:49,871 --> 00:13:53,333
Ahh.
356
00:13:53,458 --> 00:13:55,502
Oh, god damn it!
357
00:13:55,627 --> 00:13:56,920
You flushed them?
358
00:13:57,045 --> 00:13:58,421
Well, you spend eight years
taking a crap
359
00:13:58,547 --> 00:14:00,757
and then flushing the toilet,
it sort of becomes a reflex.
360
00:14:00,882 --> 00:14:02,592
Please, just help me
bust out of here.
361
00:14:02,717 --> 00:14:05,637
No way, douche.
I told you, I ain't your friend.
362
00:14:05,762 --> 00:14:07,556
If you want me to help you,
363
00:14:07,681 --> 00:14:09,558
you're gonna have to sneak
something else in for me.
364
00:14:09,683 --> 00:14:10,725
Son of a bitch!
365
00:14:15,564 --> 00:14:17,399
Dude, I didn't know
Token lived so far away.
366
00:14:17,524 --> 00:14:19,401
Yeah, you know, they bus in
people from different races
367
00:14:19,526 --> 00:14:21,152
to our school to promote
cultural diversity.
368
00:14:21,278 --> 00:14:22,445
Yeah, but isn't Token
the only one?
369
00:14:22,571 --> 00:14:23,822
Yeah.
370
00:14:23,947 --> 00:14:25,490
Hello.
371
00:14:25,615 --> 00:14:26,867
Hi.
Can Token come out and play?
372
00:14:26,992 --> 00:14:28,285
Well, his head's still
a little sore.
373
00:14:28,410 --> 00:14:29,953
But you can come in if you like.
- Killer.
374
00:14:30,078 --> 00:14:31,121
Token, you don't want to see
375
00:14:31,246 --> 00:14:32,414
us guys lose to girls tomorrow,
do you?
376
00:14:32,539 --> 00:14:33,957
No.
377
00:14:34,082 --> 00:14:35,750
Well, then you've got to call
the jail right now
378
00:14:35,876 --> 00:14:38,503
and tell them that you forgive
Cartman for being a dumb-ass.
379
00:14:38,628 --> 00:14:39,963
I'm afraid it's not
that simple, boys.
380
00:14:40,088 --> 00:14:40,964
It's not?
- No.
381
00:14:41,089 --> 00:14:42,257
You see, the only person
382
00:14:42,382 --> 00:14:43,425
that can let Eric
out of juvenile hall
383
00:14:43,550 --> 00:14:44,885
is the governor.
384
00:14:45,010 --> 00:14:46,803
Damn it!
Son of a bitch, damn it!
385
00:14:46,928 --> 00:14:49,639
Oh. Sorry.
- No, I actually agree with you.
386
00:14:49,764 --> 00:14:51,182
Huh?
- Yeah.
387
00:14:51,308 --> 00:14:53,059
I have a real problem
with hate crime legislation.
388
00:14:53,184 --> 00:14:54,895
In fact, I'd love to see
you kids go down
389
00:14:55,020 --> 00:14:56,813
and give the governor
a piece of my mind.
390
00:14:56,938 --> 00:14:58,773
Well, why don't you tell
the governor yourself?
391
00:14:58,899 --> 00:15:00,317
Oh, he wouldn't listen to me.
- Why not?
392
00:15:00,442 --> 00:15:01,902
- Because I'm black.
- Oh.
393
00:15:02,027 --> 00:15:03,111
Sit down, boys.
394
00:15:03,236 --> 00:15:04,362
I'm gonna give you
a little lesson
395
00:15:04,487 --> 00:15:05,864
about hate crime laws.
396
00:15:22,172 --> 00:15:23,423
splash!
397
00:15:23,548 --> 00:15:27,844
Oh, thank God!
Oh, thank you, Jesus!
398
00:15:29,721 --> 00:15:31,139
Here you go, god damn it!
399
00:15:31,264 --> 00:15:33,808
Cool!
My very own tic tac throw game!
400
00:15:33,934 --> 00:15:35,810
Oh, it smells, man!
401
00:15:35,936 --> 00:15:37,479
Well, what the hell
do you expect, huh?
402
00:15:37,604 --> 00:15:38,647
Now I got your stupid game.
403
00:15:38,772 --> 00:15:39,981
Tell me how to break
out of here.
404
00:15:40,106 --> 00:15:41,441
You're not gonna
break out of here.
405
00:15:41,566 --> 00:15:43,193
You're here till you're 21,
douche.
406
00:15:43,318 --> 00:15:44,653
But you said--
407
00:15:44,778 --> 00:15:46,571
I just wanted you
to sneak stuff in for me.
408
00:15:46,696 --> 00:15:49,240
What, you actually think
I give a crap about you?
409
00:15:49,366 --> 00:15:50,241
I thought that--
410
00:15:50,367 --> 00:15:51,576
Man, you better wise up
411
00:15:51,701 --> 00:15:53,578
to the way things work
in the big house.
412
00:15:53,703 --> 00:15:56,665
Hey, guys!
I gots me a new tic tac throw!
413
00:16:01,503 --> 00:16:04,214
Yeah, it's a little ripe,
but it's brand-new, man.
414
00:16:04,339 --> 00:16:06,216
We can play it at recess.
415
00:16:06,341 --> 00:16:09,886
Hey, what are you doing?
416
00:16:13,181 --> 00:16:16,309
You--you can't cry
in prison, man.
417
00:16:16,434 --> 00:16:18,812
They'll bust your head open.
What's the matter with you?
418
00:16:18,937 --> 00:16:23,525
I want my mom!
419
00:16:23,650 --> 00:16:25,068
Dude.
420
00:16:25,193 --> 00:16:28,238
Mommy!
I want my mommy!
421
00:16:30,031 --> 00:16:31,616
Look, if it's
that important to you,
422
00:16:31,741 --> 00:16:32,951
I'll bust you out of here.
423
00:16:33,076 --> 00:16:34,202
You will?
424
00:16:34,327 --> 00:16:36,246
Yeah.
Yeah, I will.
425
00:16:36,371 --> 00:16:38,289
But not because
you're my friend.
426
00:16:38,415 --> 00:16:41,292
Only because--
because I want to bust out too
427
00:16:41,418 --> 00:16:43,044
and see Disneyland.
428
00:16:44,921 --> 00:16:46,339
Governor,
429
00:16:46,464 --> 00:16:47,507
the "Free Eric Cartman Now"
Committee
430
00:16:47,632 --> 00:16:48,883
is here to see you.
431
00:16:49,009 --> 00:16:50,218
Oh, not another committee.
Send them in.
432
00:16:54,305 --> 00:16:56,016
This is the "Free Eric Cartman
Now" Committee?
433
00:16:56,141 --> 00:16:57,267
Yeah.
434
00:16:57,392 --> 00:16:58,643
Well, boys,
what can I do for you?
435
00:16:58,768 --> 00:16:59,686
Okay, go ahead and start.
436
00:16:59,811 --> 00:17:00,562
I don't start.
You start.
437
00:17:00,687 --> 00:17:01,521
Oh, yeah.
438
00:17:03,356 --> 00:17:05,025
Hello, Mr. Governor,
439
00:17:05,150 --> 00:17:06,526
and thank you for taking
the time
440
00:17:06,651 --> 00:17:10,238
to hear our presentation
on hate crime laws entitled
441
00:17:10,363 --> 00:17:12,240
A Savage Hypocrisy."
442
00:17:14,993 --> 00:17:16,161
Yes, over the past few years,
443
00:17:16,286 --> 00:17:17,412
our great country
has been developing
444
00:17:17,537 --> 00:17:18,913
new hate crime laws.
445
00:17:19,039 --> 00:17:20,623
If somebody kills somebody,
it's a crime.
446
00:17:20,749 --> 00:17:22,417
But if someone kills somebody
of a different color,
447
00:17:22,542 --> 00:17:23,918
it's a hate crime.
448
00:17:24,044 --> 00:17:26,504
And we think that that is
a savage hypocrisy,
449
00:17:26,629 --> 00:17:28,089
because all crimes
are hate crimes.
450
00:17:28,214 --> 00:17:29,507
If a man beats another man
451
00:17:29,632 --> 00:17:31,051
because that man was sleeping
with his wife,
452
00:17:31,176 --> 00:17:32,427
is that not a hate crime?
453
00:17:32,552 --> 00:17:34,471
If a person vandalizes
a government building,
454
00:17:34,596 --> 00:17:36,973
is it not because of his hate
for the government?
455
00:17:37,098 --> 00:17:39,726
The motivation for a crime
shouldn't affect the sentencing.
456
00:17:39,851 --> 00:17:42,479
Mayor, it is time to stop
splitting people into groups.
457
00:17:42,604 --> 00:17:44,481
All hate crime laws do
is support the ideas
458
00:17:44,606 --> 00:17:45,899
that blacks are different
from whites,
459
00:17:46,024 --> 00:17:47,067
that homosexuals need to be
460
00:17:47,192 --> 00:17:48,943
treated differently
from non-homos,
461
00:17:49,069 --> 00:17:50,445
that we aren't the same.
462
00:17:50,570 --> 00:17:52,197
But instead, we should all
be treated the same
463
00:17:52,322 --> 00:17:53,531
with the same laws
464
00:17:53,656 --> 00:17:55,533
and the same punishments
for the same crimes,
465
00:17:55,658 --> 00:17:57,660
for in that way,
Cartman can be freed from prison
466
00:17:57,786 --> 00:18:01,122
and we will have a chance to win
the sledding race on Thursday.
467
00:18:01,247 --> 00:18:03,541
That is our presentation,
an idea that we call...
468
00:18:03,666 --> 00:18:05,960
a Savage Hypocrisy."
469
00:18:06,086 --> 00:18:07,712
Hmm.
470
00:18:07,837 --> 00:18:10,006
That made the most sense
of any presentation I've heard
471
00:18:10,131 --> 00:18:11,800
in the last three years.
472
00:18:18,598 --> 00:18:19,724
Hurry up!
473
00:18:19,849 --> 00:18:22,435
They're sending the dogs
after us!
474
00:18:22,560 --> 00:18:24,687
Ow!
- What's the matter?
475
00:18:24,813 --> 00:18:25,897
It's my leg.
I think it's broke.
476
00:18:27,857 --> 00:18:28,983
You go on ahead without me.
477
00:18:29,109 --> 00:18:29,984
Okay.
- Hey!
478
00:18:30,110 --> 00:18:31,486
You're supposed to say,
479
00:18:31,611 --> 00:18:32,946
"I'm not going without you,"
or something.
480
00:18:33,071 --> 00:18:34,197
Oh.
Really?
481
00:18:34,322 --> 00:18:35,657
Look, kid.
You go on.
482
00:18:35,782 --> 00:18:37,242
You've got something
to live for out there.
483
00:18:37,367 --> 00:18:38,701
You've got friends.
- Yeah.
484
00:18:38,827 --> 00:18:41,162
I never really realized that
until just now.
485
00:18:41,287 --> 00:18:43,665
I sure would have liked
to have seen Disneyland.
486
00:18:43,790 --> 00:18:44,916
Here, I want you to have these.
487
00:18:45,041 --> 00:18:46,543
Okay.
- No!
488
00:18:46,668 --> 00:18:48,002
You're supposed to say,
489
00:18:48,128 --> 00:18:49,921
"I can't take these,"
or something, dumb-ass!
490
00:18:50,046 --> 00:18:51,589
Oh.
I can't take these.
491
00:18:51,714 --> 00:18:53,258
Take them.
They'll bring you luck.
492
00:18:53,383 --> 00:18:56,302
Now, go on.
Get out of here.
493
00:18:56,427 --> 00:18:57,637
Romper?
- Yeah?
494
00:18:57,762 --> 00:19:00,056
You--well,
I know you don't think
495
00:19:00,181 --> 00:19:01,432
you've ever been
anybody's friend,
496
00:19:01,558 --> 00:19:04,811
but, well,
you're a friend to me.
497
00:19:04,936 --> 00:19:06,938
Alright, freeze!
498
00:19:07,063 --> 00:19:09,858
You'll never take us alive!
We're going down together, pigs!
499
00:19:09,983 --> 00:19:12,193
But you've been pardoned
by the governor.
500
00:19:12,318 --> 00:19:14,445
Oh, sweet!
Later, dudes.
501
00:19:18,616 --> 00:19:20,034
Well, come on!
Are we racing or not?
502
00:19:20,160 --> 00:19:21,619
Just wait.
We got Cartman pardoned.
503
00:19:21,744 --> 00:19:23,163
He'll be here any second.
504
00:19:23,288 --> 00:19:24,706
He's got to show up.
He's just got to!
505
00:19:24,831 --> 00:19:27,000
Come on, my feet are
getting cold, fudge packers!
506
00:19:27,125 --> 00:19:29,502
Yeah, if you're too scared
to race, just say so.
507
00:19:29,627 --> 00:19:31,337
Dude, I guess we just
got to try it without him.
508
00:19:31,462 --> 00:19:32,839
Alright, where's Clyde?
- Right here.
509
00:19:32,964 --> 00:19:34,507
Get on the sled,
you fat piece of shit!
510
00:19:34,632 --> 00:19:35,967
For the last time,
I'm not fat,
511
00:19:36,092 --> 00:19:38,803
so stop calling me fat,
god damn it!
512
00:19:38,928 --> 00:19:40,305
On the sled, fat-ass.
513
00:19:40,430 --> 00:19:42,640
Okay, girls, time to show
the boys what we can do.
514
00:19:42,765 --> 00:19:43,725
Yeah!
515
00:19:43,850 --> 00:19:45,727
Okay.
Ready, set--
516
00:19:45,852 --> 00:19:47,854
You guys!
517
00:19:47,979 --> 00:19:49,147
- It's Cartman!
- Hooray!
518
00:19:49,272 --> 00:19:51,316
That's right, I'm back.
519
00:19:51,441 --> 00:19:54,277
Oh, thank you.
Thank you for coming back.
520
00:19:54,402 --> 00:19:56,487
Thank you so much.
Thank you.
521
00:19:56,613 --> 00:19:57,906
What the hell is wrong
with Clyde?
522
00:19:58,031 --> 00:19:59,991
This is your last chance.
Are we racing or not?
523
00:20:00,116 --> 00:20:01,409
Alright!
Let's do this!
524
00:20:01,534 --> 00:20:03,995
Okay, everybody ready?
On your marks...
525
00:20:04,120 --> 00:20:05,788
I hope I can adapt to life
outside of the big house.
526
00:20:05,914 --> 00:20:07,540
Get set, go!
527
00:20:07,665 --> 00:20:08,750
I've been on the inside
for so long.
528
00:20:08,875 --> 00:20:10,376
I don't remember how to live
on the outside.
529
00:20:10,501 --> 00:20:11,544
Go, fat-ass!
530
00:20:11,669 --> 00:20:13,046
When a man is stripped
of his freedom,
531
00:20:13,171 --> 00:20:14,464
degraded in the ways
that I was, it's--
532
00:20:14,589 --> 00:20:16,049
Go, fat-ass!
533
00:20:16,174 --> 00:20:18,259
Come on!
We got to catch up to them!
534
00:20:20,803 --> 00:20:22,055
We got them, girls!
535
00:20:22,180 --> 00:20:24,599
Oh, no!
The girls are gonna win!
536
00:20:24,724 --> 00:20:26,184
You can do it!
- Come on!
537
00:20:26,309 --> 00:20:28,144
We're not gonna make it!
538
00:20:28,269 --> 00:20:29,395
Aha!
539
00:20:40,740 --> 00:20:42,242
Hooray!
540
00:20:42,367 --> 00:20:43,284
We did it!
541
00:20:46,162 --> 00:20:47,538
We won! We won!
- Yeah!
542
00:20:47,664 --> 00:20:48,998
Why, we sure gave
those skanky bitches what for!
543
00:20:49,123 --> 00:20:50,541
Yeah!
544
00:20:50,667 --> 00:20:52,126
It's good to have you back,
Cartman.
545
00:20:52,252 --> 00:20:54,295
Yeah, we're never gonna take
your ass for granted ever again.
546
00:20:54,420 --> 00:20:55,630
Yeah, and I'm never gonna
547
00:20:55,755 --> 00:20:57,382
take my friends for granted
ever again.
548
00:20:57,507 --> 00:21:00,051
Let's all hear it
for Cartman's big fat ass!
549
00:21:00,176 --> 00:21:02,053
Ooh!
550
00:21:02,178 --> 00:21:04,389
Do British people count
as an ethnicity for hate crimes?
551
00:21:04,514 --> 00:21:05,390
- Nah.
- Sweet.
552
00:21:09,978 --> 00:21:11,479
Hey, Romper Stomper!
Get up!
553
00:21:11,604 --> 00:21:13,356
You got a visitor.
554
00:21:13,481 --> 00:21:15,233
Eric!
- Hey Romper Stomper!
555
00:21:15,358 --> 00:21:18,111
Wow!
I've never had a visitor before.
556
00:21:18,236 --> 00:21:19,279
Well, that's not all.
557
00:21:19,404 --> 00:21:20,571
I snuck something in
for you too.
558
00:21:20,697 --> 00:21:22,657
You did?
559
00:21:22,782 --> 00:21:23,825
You know how you told me
560
00:21:23,950 --> 00:21:25,326
you always wanted to see
Disneyland?
561
00:21:25,451 --> 00:21:28,371
Yeah.
562
00:21:34,377 --> 00:21:35,837
There's Pirates
of the Caribbean.
563
00:21:35,962 --> 00:21:37,839
Whoa!
564
00:21:37,964 --> 00:21:38,840
Here comes Space Mountain!
565
00:21:40,967 --> 00:21:42,552
Oh, yeah!
566
00:21:42,677 --> 00:21:45,430
it's a Small World!
567
00:21:46,806 --> 00:21:49,434
Splash Mountain comes next!
568
00:21:54,689 --> 00:21:55,815
oh, the Monorail!
41087
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