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("Tennis Is the Name of
the Game" by Guy Finley)
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♪ All you need to play the
game is a real good racquet ♪
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00:00:29,897 --> 00:00:32,097
♪ Find a friend and take a ball ♪
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♪ Throw it up and whack it ♪
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♪ And if you play it right ♪
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♪ You'll get a lot more
than the practice ♪
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♪ But there's nothin' like a slam ♪
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♪ To make you feel like a man ♪
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♪ Oh, tennis is the name of the game ♪
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♪ Tennis is the name of the game ♪
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♪ If you can listen ahead ♪
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♪ It's widely said ♪
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♪ It's hard to come to shore ♪
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00:00:57,645 --> 00:00:59,816
♪ For tennis ♪
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♪ Is the name of the game ♪
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♪ Yeah ♪
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00:01:03,375 --> 00:01:04,882
♪ For just a couple of balls ♪
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♪ A well-strung racquet ♪
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00:01:06,399 --> 00:01:07,804
♪ You can start to climb ♪
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♪ Any social bracket ♪
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♪ On the course ♪
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♪ Tennis is the name of the sport ♪
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♪ Girls paint their
nails, set their hair ♪
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♪ And they all buy expensive clothes ♪
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♪ And the men, while their waitin' ♪
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00:01:21,857 --> 00:01:25,997
♪ Emulatin' all the moves
of the tennis pros ♪
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♪ It's the only game they play ♪
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♪ Where the friendliest shots ♪
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♪ Turn to blows ♪
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♪ There's nothin' like a slam ♪
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♪ To make you feel like a man ♪
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00:01:36,932 --> 00:01:40,227
♪ Oh, tennis is the name of the game ♪
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♪ Tennis is the name of the game ♪
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♪ If you can listen ahead ♪
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♪ It's widely said ♪
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♪ It's hard to come to shore ♪
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♪ For tennis ♪
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♪ Is the name of the game ♪
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♪ Yeah ♪
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♪ For just a couple of balls ♪
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♪ A well-strung racquet ♪
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♪ Any time of day ♪
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♪ It's great to whack it ♪
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♪ Doesn't matter if ♪
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♪ You're fat or you're short ♪
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♪ Tennis is the name of your sport ♪
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♪ Whack it ♪
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♪ Woo ♪
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♪ Oh, tennis is the name of the game ♪
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♪ Tennis is the name of the game ♪
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♪ If you can listen ahead ♪
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♪ It's widely said ♪
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♪ It's hard to come to shore ♪
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♪ Oh, tennis is the name of the game ♪
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♪ Tennis is the name of the game ♪
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- [Announcer] That's it,
ladies and gentlemen!
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He's done it!
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Ilie Nastase has beaten Bjorn Borg,
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the world's number one tennis player,
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in straight sets!
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00:02:49,066 --> 00:02:51,552
- [Commentator] Oh, what an
incredible display of tennis.
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You know his game today
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reminds me of that former
tennis great, Tommy Everett.
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- [Announcer] Yeah, what
ever happened to him?
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- [Commentator] Well, I
think he's teaching tennis
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00:02:58,647 --> 00:03:00,154
somewhere out in Beverly Hills.
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00:03:00,154 --> 00:03:01,094
- [Announcer] I guess that's what happens
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00:03:01,094 --> 00:03:02,542
when you get too old to play.
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You could wind up teaching, huh?
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00:03:03,812 --> 00:03:05,810
- [Commentator] Yeah, I guess.
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00:03:05,810 --> 00:03:07,198
- No, no, no, you're not lousy.
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As a matter of fact,
you're looking much better.
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- Oh, shit!
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(giggles)
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- Shit!
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- Oh, shit!
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- Shit!
78
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- Shit!
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- Shit!
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- Shit!
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- Alright, Mrs. Kaufman, now
keep your eye on the ball.
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- Mrs. Kaufman, you
are looking incredible!
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I mean I couldn't believe my eyes
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what I saw on the court just now.
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- Oh, it's all Tommy's doing.
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He really keeps me on my toes.
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- Don't give me all the
credit, Mrs. Kaufman.
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- But it's true!
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- Listen, why don't you dry off.
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Wouldn't want you to catch a chill.
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- Bye bye!
- Bye bye.
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- Nice to see you, Mrs. Kaufman.
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You're really looking wonderful.
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Wonderful!
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Jesus, what a fat ass.
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What a business.
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- You said it.
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- Tommy, I want you to meet somebody.
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Joe Travis!
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Come in here.
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I want you to meet Tommy.
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00:04:03,216 --> 00:04:04,219
Joe Travis,
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Tommy Everett.
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- Heard a lot about you.
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00:04:06,304 --> 00:04:07,141
- Heard a lot about you too, Joe.
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You're number one at UCLA, aren't ya?
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00:04:08,693 --> 00:04:09,592
- Yeah.
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00:04:09,592 --> 00:04:11,247
Well, I graduated last week.
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00:04:11,247 --> 00:04:12,652
- Made any plans?
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- I've had a lot of offers.
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Thought I'd take the
summer to think 'em over.
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- Good.
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Nice to see you, Joe.
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See you, Charlie.
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- Just a minute, Tommy.
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I've never seen Joe play.
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How about hittin' a few shots?
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Play a five-point tie-breaker.
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- You mean now, Charlie?
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- [Charlie] Yeah.
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- Unless you're too tired.
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- No, Joe.
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It's alright.
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Never too tired for a
friendly little game.
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- Ready, Everett?
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(crowd applauds)
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(crowd applauds)
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00:05:44,478 --> 00:05:47,061
(crowd groans)
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00:05:51,667 --> 00:05:52,589
You're good, man.
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00:05:52,589 --> 00:05:54,313
- It's okay, thanks.
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00:05:54,313 --> 00:05:56,833
- I tell ya, it's a thrill
to see two pros play.
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Makes the old heart pound.
- No kiddin'.
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00:05:59,771 --> 00:06:01,717
- Why don't you grab
yourself a shower, Joe.
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00:06:01,717 --> 00:06:02,743
Take a look around the club.
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00:06:02,743 --> 00:06:04,910
I'll see you in a few minutes.
- Okay, Charlie.
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00:06:04,910 --> 00:06:06,296
Thanks for the game, man.
137
00:06:06,296 --> 00:06:07,629
- Any time, man.
138
00:06:08,489 --> 00:06:10,332
- So what do you think,
the kid's good, huh?
139
00:06:10,332 --> 00:06:12,054
- Good? Charlie, that...
140
00:06:12,054 --> 00:06:13,656
That kid is great.
141
00:06:13,656 --> 00:06:15,387
- Yeah, that's what I thought.
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00:06:15,387 --> 00:06:16,602
And that's why I gave him a job.
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He started today.
144
00:06:18,331 --> 00:06:19,626
Tommy, it's strictly business.
145
00:06:19,626 --> 00:06:21,280
You know you're always number one with me.
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You've made a great contribution
to the club over the years.
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Don't forget,
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00:06:24,859 --> 00:06:27,242
this kid Joe Travis, he's only 22.
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00:06:27,242 --> 00:06:28,379
- Charlie.
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00:06:28,379 --> 00:06:29,538
What am I, an old man?
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00:06:29,538 --> 00:06:31,503
- Are you kidding, you're
in the prime of your life!
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00:06:31,503 --> 00:06:34,773
Christ, what I wouldn't
give to be your age again.
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00:06:34,773 --> 00:06:37,847
- So how come I suddenly
feel like I'm over the hill?
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00:06:37,847 --> 00:06:38,958
- Tommy, listen.
155
00:06:38,958 --> 00:06:41,298
You know how the members
are around the club.
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The women
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00:06:42,354 --> 00:06:44,055
and the special clientele we've got here.
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Hey, even you can use him.
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He'll be a big asset to the club.
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I know you'll understand that.
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00:06:49,864 --> 00:06:51,945
- You're all heart, Charlie.
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I'll see you tomorrow.
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If I live that long.
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- Aw!
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00:07:02,681 --> 00:07:04,973
- [Tommy Voiceover]
Maybe I am gettin' old.
166
00:07:04,973 --> 00:07:07,534
I'm just in a rut, I need a change.
167
00:07:07,534 --> 00:07:09,696
Maybe if I can get my own place.
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00:07:09,696 --> 00:07:12,028
Tommy Everett's Tennis Club.
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00:07:12,028 --> 00:07:12,861
Why not?
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Miss Baxter.
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My name is Tommy Everett
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and I'm calling about the
house in Beverly Hills.
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You know, the big one
with the tennis court?
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Well, I'm...
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00:07:27,803 --> 00:07:29,274
I'm very interested.
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Any time tomorrow morning would be fine.
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Ten o'clock.
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00:07:33,250 --> 00:07:34,184
Thank you very much.
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00:07:34,184 --> 00:07:35,351
I'll be there.
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00:07:40,122 --> 00:07:41,099
- Mr. Everett?
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00:07:41,099 --> 00:07:42,974
- You must be Miss Baxter,
I'm terribly sorry.
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00:07:42,974 --> 00:07:44,539
- No, no, don't explain.
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00:07:44,539 --> 00:07:46,956
I know what a hassle it
is to have car trouble.
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00:07:46,956 --> 00:07:48,273
- Car trouble?
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00:07:48,273 --> 00:07:49,106
- Well you
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00:07:49,106 --> 00:07:51,524
certainly don't drive
around in that, do you?
187
00:07:51,524 --> 00:07:53,132
It's a loaner car, isn't it?
188
00:07:53,132 --> 00:07:53,965
- Oh, yes!
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00:07:53,965 --> 00:07:55,081
Oh, of course.
190
00:07:55,081 --> 00:07:56,476
It's a loaner car.
191
00:07:56,476 --> 00:07:58,206
Who would drive around in a car like that?
192
00:07:58,206 --> 00:07:59,309
(chuckles)
193
00:07:59,309 --> 00:08:01,089
- Those clothes you're wearing.
194
00:08:01,089 --> 00:08:05,271
This T-shirt and these blue
jeans here in Beverly Hills!
195
00:08:05,271 --> 00:08:06,251
- Um...
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00:08:06,251 --> 00:08:07,116
Loaner clothes.
197
00:08:07,116 --> 00:08:08,096
- Loaner clothes?
198
00:08:08,096 --> 00:08:09,762
- Oh, yeah, sure, I wear mostly Gucci.
199
00:08:09,762 --> 00:08:11,192
See, I gave that away to charity.
200
00:08:11,192 --> 00:08:12,626
I had to borrow this from neighbors just--
201
00:08:12,626 --> 00:08:15,299
- They're very particular
about who moves into this area,
202
00:08:15,299 --> 00:08:16,345
Mr. Everett.
203
00:08:16,345 --> 00:08:17,792
We just can't sell to anybody.
204
00:08:17,792 --> 00:08:20,437
- Oh, I'm sure everybody will love us.
205
00:08:20,437 --> 00:08:22,088
- Us?
206
00:08:22,088 --> 00:08:23,136
Do you
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00:08:23,136 --> 00:08:24,636
live with a woman?
208
00:08:25,629 --> 00:08:26,899
- No, it's just...
209
00:08:26,899 --> 00:08:28,003
Me and my dog.
210
00:08:28,003 --> 00:08:29,233
- Dog? What kind of dog?
211
00:08:29,233 --> 00:08:33,720
- Oh, he's just a warm,
affectionate, lovable little mutt.
212
00:08:33,720 --> 00:08:35,317
- A mutt?
213
00:08:35,317 --> 00:08:37,365
Your dog is a mutt?
214
00:08:37,365 --> 00:08:38,986
- It's a, a...
215
00:08:38,986 --> 00:08:40,211
Loaner dog.
216
00:08:40,211 --> 00:08:41,156
It's not my dog.
217
00:08:41,156 --> 00:08:42,261
My dog is an Afghan.
218
00:08:42,261 --> 00:08:43,094
Oh, he's beautiful.
219
00:08:43,094 --> 00:08:45,341
He's away at school now
learning to lead the blind.
220
00:08:45,341 --> 00:08:46,432
- Oh.
221
00:08:46,432 --> 00:08:48,347
I love a dog who can do something.
222
00:08:48,347 --> 00:08:50,847
- Right, I know what you mean.
223
00:08:52,967 --> 00:08:54,795
- Now, ten applicants,
224
00:08:54,795 --> 00:08:56,346
none of them my clients,
225
00:08:56,346 --> 00:08:57,774
have been turned down for this house
226
00:08:57,774 --> 00:08:59,808
because they weren't suitable.
227
00:08:59,808 --> 00:09:00,928
Do you like to garden?
228
00:09:00,928 --> 00:09:02,066
- Oh, I love it, I just love it.
229
00:09:02,066 --> 00:09:03,609
- You must never garden.
230
00:09:03,609 --> 00:09:05,619
You must hire a Japanese
person to do that.
231
00:09:05,619 --> 00:09:07,332
- Oh, right, of course, never.
232
00:09:07,332 --> 00:09:09,021
I never work on my own
garden, I hate that.
233
00:09:09,021 --> 00:09:10,617
But somebody else's
garden, now that I love.
234
00:09:10,617 --> 00:09:12,485
I really love to work on
somebody else's garden.
235
00:09:12,485 --> 00:09:13,950
My own garden, well, no.
236
00:09:13,950 --> 00:09:15,242
I really don't care for that.
237
00:09:15,242 --> 00:09:16,886
I would never work on my own garden.
238
00:09:16,886 --> 00:09:20,101
- Now this is what we
call a star view home.
239
00:09:20,101 --> 00:09:21,386
- Star view home.
240
00:09:21,386 --> 00:09:22,419
- In a moment,
241
00:09:22,419 --> 00:09:24,938
I will throw open these gorgeous drapes
242
00:09:24,938 --> 00:09:27,899
and reveal a sight to you
that will freak you out.
243
00:09:27,899 --> 00:09:30,520
Especially if you dig movie people.
244
00:09:30,520 --> 00:09:31,520
Do you mind?
245
00:09:39,741 --> 00:09:40,574
Now.
246
00:09:42,017 --> 00:09:45,714
If you look very carefully
between those two houses,
247
00:09:45,714 --> 00:09:49,590
you can see Alfred Hitchcock's
servant's quarters.
248
00:09:49,590 --> 00:09:51,455
Now the window facing yours
249
00:09:51,455 --> 00:09:53,254
is presently occupied
250
00:09:53,254 --> 00:09:56,730
my Mr. Hitchcock's chauffeur's son
251
00:09:56,730 --> 00:09:58,172
by a previous marriage.
252
00:09:58,172 --> 00:10:00,174
His name is Gregory.
253
00:10:00,174 --> 00:10:02,090
Now you've heard of Steve McQueen?
254
00:10:02,090 --> 00:10:04,029
Of course, who hasn't?
255
00:10:04,029 --> 00:10:06,572
You see that house down there?
256
00:10:06,572 --> 00:10:07,553
They say
257
00:10:07,553 --> 00:10:10,511
that Steve McQueen visited that house.
258
00:10:10,511 --> 00:10:12,015
Now whether he spent the night or not,
259
00:10:12,015 --> 00:10:13,148
we do not know.
260
00:10:13,148 --> 00:10:13,981
- It's marvelous.
261
00:10:13,981 --> 00:10:16,464
- And finally for the big finale.
262
00:10:16,464 --> 00:10:18,881
You see that barn down there?
263
00:10:19,836 --> 00:10:23,214
We call that John Wayne's place.
264
00:10:23,214 --> 00:10:24,112
- That's fantastic.
265
00:10:24,112 --> 00:10:25,386
You mean John Wayne lives there?
266
00:10:25,386 --> 00:10:27,386
- No, but his horse did.
267
00:10:28,625 --> 00:10:29,749
- When was that?
268
00:10:29,749 --> 00:10:30,582
- 1936.
269
00:10:32,066 --> 00:10:33,495
- Ah.
270
00:10:33,495 --> 00:10:35,182
Could we see the tennis court now?
271
00:10:35,182 --> 00:10:36,137
- Oh, mais oui!
272
00:10:36,137 --> 00:10:36,970
Follow me.
273
00:10:38,827 --> 00:10:41,175
You're going to adore
this court, Mr. Everett.
274
00:10:41,175 --> 00:10:43,130
It's got some very unique features.
275
00:10:43,130 --> 00:10:45,715
- Oh, I love it, I love it!
276
00:10:45,715 --> 00:10:46,626
How much is it?
277
00:10:46,626 --> 00:10:47,920
- Twenty thousand.
278
00:10:47,920 --> 00:10:49,749
- Twenty thousand, that's fantastic!
279
00:10:49,749 --> 00:10:50,786
I'll take it.
280
00:10:50,786 --> 00:10:53,203
- Unfortunately, it comes with the house.
281
00:10:53,203 --> 00:10:54,870
That's 480,000 more.
282
00:10:55,972 --> 00:10:56,972
- Oh, but...
283
00:10:57,806 --> 00:10:59,357
All I really need is the court, you know.
284
00:10:59,357 --> 00:11:01,168
- Sorry, can't break up a set.
285
00:11:01,168 --> 00:11:02,927
Besides, you're going to need a house.
286
00:11:02,927 --> 00:11:04,556
You can't play tennis forever!
287
00:11:04,556 --> 00:11:05,647
- Oh, yes I can.
288
00:11:05,647 --> 00:11:06,623
(Miss Baxter laughs)
289
00:11:06,623 --> 00:11:08,378
- You jocks!
290
00:11:08,378 --> 00:11:09,295
Here we go!
291
00:11:20,455 --> 00:11:21,970
- [Tommy] How much for the down payment?
292
00:11:21,970 --> 00:11:25,482
- You could move in
temporarily for nothing.
293
00:11:25,482 --> 00:11:29,261
Permanently, it'll cost
you 200 thou, cash.
294
00:11:29,261 --> 00:11:30,321
- 200,000 cash?
295
00:11:30,321 --> 00:11:32,481
Jesus, where am I gonna come
up with that kind of bread?
296
00:11:32,481 --> 00:11:35,483
- Why don't you make an offer?
297
00:11:35,483 --> 00:11:37,063
- Are you...
298
00:11:37,063 --> 00:11:39,056
Are you horny or something, Miss Baxter?
299
00:11:39,056 --> 00:11:41,889
- Why don't you make me an
offer, Mr. Everett, and find out!
300
00:11:41,889 --> 00:11:42,722
(muffled yelp)
301
00:11:42,722 --> 00:11:43,724
- Jesus!
302
00:11:43,724 --> 00:11:44,641
Okay! Okay.
303
00:11:47,121 --> 00:11:47,954
Um...
304
00:11:50,236 --> 00:11:51,704
Wanna fuck, Miss Baxter?
305
00:11:51,704 --> 00:11:53,438
- Mr. Everett, I thought you'd never ask!
306
00:11:53,438 --> 00:11:55,112
- [Tommy] Christ almighty!
307
00:11:55,112 --> 00:11:55,945
Wait a minute!
308
00:11:55,945 --> 00:11:57,478
Wait!
309
00:11:57,478 --> 00:11:58,311
In that room,
310
00:11:58,311 --> 00:11:59,144
we can--
311
00:11:59,144 --> 00:12:02,061
(echoing grunting)
312
00:12:03,292 --> 00:12:04,959
- [Tommy] Oh my god!
313
00:12:06,735 --> 00:12:07,568
Jesus!
314
00:12:09,990 --> 00:12:11,422
Holy Christ!
315
00:12:11,422 --> 00:12:14,589
(Tommy grunts loudly)
316
00:12:16,452 --> 00:12:17,780
- Hey, Tommy!
317
00:12:17,780 --> 00:12:18,613
Where have you been?
318
00:12:18,613 --> 00:12:22,613
Come on over here, I wanna
see you for a minute.
319
00:12:24,876 --> 00:12:26,240
- I was running some errands, Charlie.
320
00:12:26,240 --> 00:12:27,334
- Hey, you're a little late.
321
00:12:27,334 --> 00:12:28,167
- Yeah.
322
00:12:28,167 --> 00:12:29,885
- I signed a new customer
up for you this afternoon.
323
00:12:29,885 --> 00:12:31,842
A Mrs. Gordon down in Malibu.
324
00:12:31,842 --> 00:12:32,933
- Charlie,
325
00:12:32,933 --> 00:12:35,783
you know I gotta be at the
Sargent's house at 3:00.
326
00:12:35,783 --> 00:12:37,684
And then I'll get stuck in all
that traffic out on Sunset.
327
00:12:37,684 --> 00:12:39,346
Why don't you send Joe to Malibu?
328
00:12:39,346 --> 00:12:42,643
- This lady asked for Tommy Everett.
329
00:12:42,643 --> 00:12:43,555
- She did, huh?
330
00:12:43,555 --> 00:12:45,300
- So if you don't want to be
late for both appointments,
331
00:12:45,300 --> 00:12:46,571
you better get going.
332
00:12:46,571 --> 00:12:47,404
- Yes, sir.
333
00:12:47,404 --> 00:12:48,976
Yes, sir!
334
00:12:48,976 --> 00:12:52,319
Still one Tommy Everett, eh, Charlie?
335
00:12:52,319 --> 00:12:54,936
Over-the-hill, my ass.
336
00:12:54,936 --> 00:12:57,436
(funky music)
337
00:14:03,671 --> 00:14:05,728
(gasps)
338
00:14:05,728 --> 00:14:07,177
- What are you doing?
339
00:14:07,177 --> 00:14:09,191
Naked in my pool house bed?
340
00:14:09,191 --> 00:14:10,194
- Sorry.
341
00:14:10,194 --> 00:14:12,442
I'm really sorry but I...
342
00:14:12,442 --> 00:14:13,870
I want you.
343
00:14:13,870 --> 00:14:16,076
- How dare you talk to me like that?
344
00:14:16,076 --> 00:14:17,359
- Who are you?
345
00:14:17,359 --> 00:14:18,777
- I-I'm gonna call the police.
346
00:14:18,777 --> 00:14:19,610
- Oh no, please!
347
00:14:19,610 --> 00:14:20,846
Please don't call the police!
348
00:14:20,846 --> 00:14:22,164
I-I'll do anything!
349
00:14:22,164 --> 00:14:23,633
I'll do anything for ya.
350
00:14:23,633 --> 00:14:25,346
Wait a minute.
351
00:14:25,346 --> 00:14:26,799
Wait a minute, Leslie, Leslie...
352
00:14:26,799 --> 00:14:27,896
- What's the matter?
353
00:14:27,896 --> 00:14:29,492
- Could we skip the preliminaries
354
00:14:29,492 --> 00:14:31,854
and make this kind of
a short fantasy today?
355
00:14:31,854 --> 00:14:34,485
I got a new client out in Malibu at 4:30.
356
00:14:34,485 --> 00:14:35,553
I don't want to be late.
357
00:14:35,553 --> 00:14:37,330
- Well, hell yes!
358
00:14:37,330 --> 00:14:39,505
Why didn't ya say so?
359
00:14:39,505 --> 00:14:41,776
I wouldn't want you to miss a new client.
360
00:14:41,776 --> 00:14:43,526
- Thanks a lot, baby.
361
00:14:47,109 --> 00:14:49,971
- You don't think I'm
crazy, do you, Tommy?
362
00:14:49,971 --> 00:14:52,050
- Certainly not!
363
00:14:52,050 --> 00:14:53,206
Different.
364
00:14:53,206 --> 00:14:54,039
Different!
365
00:14:54,039 --> 00:14:55,456
That's all, baby.
366
00:14:58,447 --> 00:15:00,654
- [Leslie] Are you ready!
367
00:15:00,654 --> 00:15:02,154
- Come and get it.
368
00:15:05,978 --> 00:15:07,684
(short grunts)
369
00:15:07,684 --> 00:15:09,684
(yells)
370
00:15:12,020 --> 00:15:12,929
- Now!
371
00:15:12,929 --> 00:15:14,385
Now that you have ripped the tennis shorts
372
00:15:14,385 --> 00:15:17,119
from my soft white thighs,
373
00:15:17,119 --> 00:15:18,841
what do you intend
374
00:15:18,841 --> 00:15:20,091
doing about it?
375
00:15:23,202 --> 00:15:24,232
- I'm sorry.
376
00:15:24,232 --> 00:15:25,369
Leslie, I'm sorry.
377
00:15:25,369 --> 00:15:27,956
I can't remember what we're doing today.
378
00:15:27,956 --> 00:15:28,799
- What's the matter?
379
00:15:28,799 --> 00:15:29,913
You got somethin' on your mind?
380
00:15:29,913 --> 00:15:32,185
- No, no, just you, sweetheart, just you.
381
00:15:32,185 --> 00:15:33,547
Just tell me one more time
382
00:15:33,547 --> 00:15:36,015
what we're doing and who I am.
383
00:15:36,015 --> 00:15:38,227
- Bionic Man, for Christ's sake.
384
00:15:38,227 --> 00:15:39,093
- Oh, that's right.
385
00:15:39,093 --> 00:15:40,544
I'm sorry, I forgot.
386
00:15:40,544 --> 00:15:41,577
I'm ready now, I'm ready.
387
00:15:41,577 --> 00:15:43,072
- Well you know how much this means to me.
388
00:15:43,072 --> 00:15:44,255
- I know, I'm sorry.
389
00:15:44,255 --> 00:15:47,134
- The only real pleasure I have all week.
390
00:15:47,134 --> 00:15:49,250
Husband of mine's always
away on some business trip.
391
00:15:49,250 --> 00:15:50,658
- I know, I know, but
I gotta get to Malibu.
392
00:15:50,658 --> 00:15:51,584
You know, new client?
393
00:15:51,584 --> 00:15:54,437
- Now he's dropped some
house guest off on me.
394
00:15:54,437 --> 00:15:56,125
Name is Melissa.
395
00:15:56,125 --> 00:15:56,969
- Too bad.
396
00:15:56,969 --> 00:15:58,727
That sounds terrible.
397
00:15:58,727 --> 00:16:02,322
- Playing nursemaid to a
17-year-old child isn't easy.
398
00:16:02,322 --> 00:16:03,640
- I can imagine, I can imagine,
399
00:16:03,640 --> 00:16:05,652
but I do have to get to Malibu by 4:30.
400
00:16:05,652 --> 00:16:07,594
- The morals of this
401
00:16:07,594 --> 00:16:10,104
younger generation are truly appalling.
402
00:16:10,104 --> 00:16:11,259
- Oh, I know, I know.
403
00:16:11,259 --> 00:16:12,465
It's awful, just awful.
404
00:16:12,465 --> 00:16:14,678
- It's just sex and drugs...
- I know.
405
00:16:14,678 --> 00:16:16,310
- And sex, that's all they think about.
406
00:16:16,310 --> 00:16:17,233
- I know.
407
00:16:17,233 --> 00:16:18,811
Malibu, 4:30.
408
00:16:18,811 --> 00:16:20,083
New client I got.
409
00:16:20,083 --> 00:16:20,916
In Malibu.
410
00:16:20,916 --> 00:16:22,498
- Okay, okay, okay!
411
00:16:22,498 --> 00:16:24,254
You got it, ready?
412
00:16:24,254 --> 00:16:25,337
- Here we go.
413
00:16:26,419 --> 00:16:28,333
(playfully yells)
414
00:16:28,333 --> 00:16:30,416
(laughs)
415
00:16:31,672 --> 00:16:33,855
- Now that you have
ripped the tennis shorts
416
00:16:33,855 --> 00:16:35,804
from my soft white thighs,
417
00:16:35,804 --> 00:16:38,986
what do you intend doing about it?
418
00:16:38,986 --> 00:16:40,674
- I'm gonna make love to you
419
00:16:40,674 --> 00:16:42,667
like you've never been made love to before
420
00:16:42,667 --> 00:16:43,799
in your whole life!
421
00:16:43,799 --> 00:16:45,343
- But darling, we can't.
422
00:16:45,343 --> 00:16:48,637
Not after your terrible
accident testing jet aircraft.
423
00:16:48,637 --> 00:16:50,097
Oh God, you're so strong.
424
00:16:50,097 --> 00:16:51,720
- Yes, but now I'm even stronger.
425
00:16:51,720 --> 00:16:53,711
Ten times stronger, and do you know why?
426
00:16:53,711 --> 00:16:55,183
- Why, why?
- Because now...
427
00:16:55,183 --> 00:16:56,016
Now...
428
00:16:56,016 --> 00:16:57,412
Now I am...
429
00:16:57,412 --> 00:16:58,774
Bionic!
430
00:16:58,774 --> 00:16:59,844
- Oh, you are.
- That's right.
431
00:16:59,844 --> 00:17:01,202
- You are bionic.
- Yes.
432
00:17:01,202 --> 00:17:02,915
Everything is bionic.
- Everything?
433
00:17:02,915 --> 00:17:05,085
- Mm-hmm.
- Everything is bionic.
434
00:17:05,085 --> 00:17:06,490
- The whole thing is bionic.
435
00:17:06,490 --> 00:17:08,573
- Everything, tell me, tell me.
436
00:17:08,573 --> 00:17:09,753
- I've got a bionic...
437
00:17:09,753 --> 00:17:10,768
- Tell me what's bionic.
438
00:17:10,768 --> 00:17:11,601
- A big, bionic...
439
00:17:11,601 --> 00:17:12,476
- Tell me.
440
00:17:12,476 --> 00:17:13,474
- A great big bionic...
441
00:17:13,474 --> 00:17:14,307
- Say it, say it.
442
00:17:14,307 --> 00:17:15,582
- A bionic p--
- Tell me, tell me.
443
00:17:15,582 --> 00:17:16,713
- A bionic p--
- Bionic what?
444
00:17:16,713 --> 00:17:18,964
I've got a big bionic p...
445
00:17:18,964 --> 00:17:19,996
- Sound like--
- I've got a bionic...
446
00:17:19,996 --> 00:17:20,921
- Bionic what?
447
00:17:20,921 --> 00:17:21,754
- Peeper!
448
00:17:21,754 --> 00:17:23,754
- Oh, my god!
- Yes! Yes!
449
00:17:24,625 --> 00:17:26,335
- God, I wanna do things to you.
450
00:17:26,335 --> 00:17:28,178
I want to show you how
much you mean to me.
451
00:17:28,178 --> 00:17:29,321
- Shh, shh!
452
00:17:29,321 --> 00:17:30,488
Wait a minute.
453
00:17:31,758 --> 00:17:34,991
We shouldn't be doing this
here in the Air Force hospital.
454
00:17:34,991 --> 00:17:36,971
- You're right.
455
00:17:36,971 --> 00:17:38,109
The General.
456
00:17:38,109 --> 00:17:40,192
He'll come by and see us.
457
00:17:42,151 --> 00:17:44,568
- I am solid state, you know.
458
00:17:46,550 --> 00:17:49,217
- Yes.
(giggles)
459
00:17:51,153 --> 00:17:52,029
Solid state.
460
00:17:52,029 --> 00:17:53,941
(laughs uproariously)
461
00:17:53,941 --> 00:17:55,357
You are bionic!
462
00:17:55,357 --> 00:17:56,814
Oh, God.
463
00:17:56,814 --> 00:17:58,711
Oh, I would do anything for you, anything.
464
00:17:58,711 --> 00:18:00,082
- Really?
- Anything.
465
00:18:00,082 --> 00:18:03,101
- You would, anything?
- Yeah, oh, yeah.
466
00:18:03,101 --> 00:18:04,236
- Listen.
467
00:18:04,236 --> 00:18:05,574
Leslie...
468
00:18:05,574 --> 00:18:08,628
I want my own school, you know.
469
00:18:08,628 --> 00:18:10,511
But to do that, I...
470
00:18:10,511 --> 00:18:11,881
I gotta have my own tennis court.
471
00:18:11,881 --> 00:18:14,151
- Oh, yeah, think of that, bionic tennis.
472
00:18:14,151 --> 00:18:15,689
Yeah, great, great, honey.
473
00:18:15,689 --> 00:18:16,522
- Honey,
474
00:18:16,522 --> 00:18:18,110
I think I found the perfect place.
475
00:18:18,110 --> 00:18:19,517
- Perfect, yeah, God...
476
00:18:19,517 --> 00:18:21,215
- At the right location.
477
00:18:21,215 --> 00:18:23,186
- The best, the best.
478
00:18:23,186 --> 00:18:24,544
- But I gotta move fast.
479
00:18:24,544 --> 00:18:25,850
- Faster, faster!
480
00:18:25,850 --> 00:18:28,133
- It's expensive, you know.
481
00:18:28,133 --> 00:18:29,224
I don't wanna get in
482
00:18:29,224 --> 00:18:30,057
too deep!
483
00:18:30,057 --> 00:18:31,997
- Deeper, deeper, jeez.
484
00:18:31,997 --> 00:18:33,432
- But I need some money.
485
00:18:33,432 --> 00:18:34,807
For a down payment, you know, a loan.
486
00:18:34,807 --> 00:18:35,910
A little loan!
487
00:18:35,910 --> 00:18:37,077
I need a loan!
488
00:18:38,012 --> 00:18:39,512
I'm so close to it I...
489
00:18:39,512 --> 00:18:40,776
I don't want to lose it now!
490
00:18:40,776 --> 00:18:43,152
- Don't lose it, no, God!
491
00:18:43,152 --> 00:18:44,087
- I don't wanna lose it.
492
00:18:44,087 --> 00:18:45,722
- Put your bionic arm around me.
493
00:18:45,722 --> 00:18:46,703
- You've got it!
494
00:18:46,703 --> 00:18:47,603
Then I can have it?
495
00:18:47,603 --> 00:18:50,065
- Oh, honey, you can have it, take it!
496
00:18:50,065 --> 00:18:51,314
- I can?
- Take it, take it!
497
00:18:51,314 --> 00:18:52,202
- Oh, thank you.
498
00:18:52,202 --> 00:18:53,247
Oh, thank you.
499
00:18:53,247 --> 00:18:56,103
- Oh, God, so great!
- Oh, it's wonderful!
500
00:18:56,103 --> 00:18:57,241
- And do you know...
501
00:18:57,241 --> 00:18:59,052
Do you know what is so great about it?
502
00:18:59,052 --> 00:19:00,266
- Do you know what is so great--
503
00:19:00,266 --> 00:19:01,471
- What? Tell me!
504
00:19:01,471 --> 00:19:02,852
- Because you--
- Yeah?
505
00:19:02,852 --> 00:19:04,606
- You are the Bionic Man!
506
00:19:04,606 --> 00:19:06,555
- I'm the Bionic Man, that's me!
507
00:19:06,555 --> 00:19:08,768
- And I am the Bionic Woman!
508
00:19:08,768 --> 00:19:10,939
- You're the Bionic Woman, that's you!
509
00:19:10,939 --> 00:19:11,786
Tell me about it.
510
00:19:11,786 --> 00:19:14,748
(moaning)
511
00:19:14,748 --> 00:19:15,637
- A what?
512
00:19:15,637 --> 00:19:16,907
- Bionic...
- Yes?
513
00:19:16,907 --> 00:19:17,740
- Climax!
514
00:19:20,466 --> 00:19:22,355
(whooping)
515
00:19:22,355 --> 00:19:23,399
- [Tommy Voiceover] I love it!
516
00:19:23,399 --> 00:19:24,882
My own tennis court!
517
00:19:24,882 --> 00:19:26,205
Woo-hoo, I love it!
518
00:19:26,205 --> 00:19:27,076
I love you!
519
00:19:27,076 --> 00:19:28,631
I love everything!
520
00:19:28,631 --> 00:19:31,221
What the hell, kiss me, baby!
521
00:19:31,221 --> 00:19:33,221
(clang)
522
00:19:35,760 --> 00:19:39,260
(fluttery clarinet music)
523
00:19:47,335 --> 00:19:50,085
(breathy grunts)
524
00:19:54,333 --> 00:19:57,583
- I think I liked you better as Hitler.
525
00:20:00,003 --> 00:20:03,420
You do think I'm crazy, don't you, Tommy?
526
00:20:06,384 --> 00:20:08,021
- Gotta think a lady who's gonna
527
00:20:08,021 --> 00:20:10,188
loan me $200,000 is crazy.
528
00:20:11,893 --> 00:20:12,810
- How much?
529
00:20:14,538 --> 00:20:16,485
- $200,000 cash.
530
00:20:16,485 --> 00:20:17,901
It's a down payment.
531
00:20:17,901 --> 00:20:20,163
- For a fuckin' tennis court?
532
00:20:20,163 --> 00:20:22,017
What do you play on, gold dust?
533
00:20:22,017 --> 00:20:24,258
- I'm gonna make you a
full partner, Leslie.
534
00:20:24,258 --> 00:20:25,777
We're gonna split the profits.
535
00:20:25,777 --> 00:20:26,610
Hey, look.
536
00:20:27,454 --> 00:20:29,590
I got all the figures right here, see?
537
00:20:29,590 --> 00:20:31,368
(whistles)
538
00:20:31,368 --> 00:20:32,774
- Wow.
539
00:20:32,774 --> 00:20:36,947
That is just a tad more
than my monthly allowance.
540
00:20:36,947 --> 00:20:39,322
I'll see that Old Moneybags gets it.
541
00:20:39,322 --> 00:20:41,358
- Do you think he'll go for it?
542
00:20:41,358 --> 00:20:42,863
- I'll tell him it's a tennis court
543
00:20:42,863 --> 00:20:44,656
built atop an oil well.
544
00:20:44,656 --> 00:20:46,588
He'll just hear oil well.
545
00:20:46,588 --> 00:20:47,803
- Then you know what?
546
00:20:47,803 --> 00:20:50,102
I'll be whoever you want me to be
547
00:20:50,102 --> 00:20:52,217
whenever you want it.
548
00:20:52,217 --> 00:20:54,746
- Oh, yeah, honey, look at the time.
549
00:20:54,746 --> 00:20:57,334
If you're going to
Malibu, you better split.
550
00:20:57,334 --> 00:20:58,334
- Oh my god.
551
00:21:05,973 --> 00:21:07,581
Uh...
552
00:21:07,581 --> 00:21:09,044
What about your husband?
553
00:21:09,044 --> 00:21:11,460
- I'll take care of Arthur.
554
00:21:11,460 --> 00:21:14,105
You just be sure I think you're worth
555
00:21:14,105 --> 00:21:15,855
two hundred thousand.
556
00:21:30,794 --> 00:21:32,032
- Oh, uh...
557
00:21:32,032 --> 00:21:33,190
I forgot.
558
00:21:33,190 --> 00:21:34,723
Who are we on Saturday?
559
00:21:34,723 --> 00:21:36,630
- You're Evel Knievel.
560
00:21:36,630 --> 00:21:38,069
- Oh, yeah.
561
00:21:38,069 --> 00:21:38,902
You?
562
00:21:40,513 --> 00:21:42,096
- The Grand Canyon.
563
00:21:48,826 --> 00:21:50,909
- You can say that again.
564
00:21:55,415 --> 00:21:56,248
Hi, there.
565
00:21:56,248 --> 00:21:57,450
You must be Melissa.
566
00:21:57,450 --> 00:22:01,456
I understand you're gonna be
a house guest for the summer.
567
00:22:01,456 --> 00:22:03,142
Uh, I'm Tommy Everett.
568
00:22:03,142 --> 00:22:07,600
I was just giving Mrs. Sargent
her weekly tennis lesson.
569
00:22:07,600 --> 00:22:09,457
- In the pool house?
570
00:22:09,457 --> 00:22:11,209
- No, uh, I was...
571
00:22:11,209 --> 00:22:13,062
I was taking care of a little business.
572
00:22:13,062 --> 00:22:14,775
- I'll bet you were.
573
00:22:14,775 --> 00:22:16,643
Do you always take care of business
574
00:22:16,643 --> 00:22:18,860
with your fly unzipped?
575
00:22:18,860 --> 00:22:20,388
- Oh.
576
00:22:20,388 --> 00:22:21,221
No.
577
00:22:21,221 --> 00:22:24,471
Hardly ever.
(chuckles)
578
00:22:29,687 --> 00:22:30,843
Thank you.
579
00:22:30,843 --> 00:22:32,510
Thank you very much.
580
00:22:37,391 --> 00:22:38,224
Wise kid.
581
00:22:48,914 --> 00:22:52,247
(energetic disco music)
582
00:24:00,805 --> 00:24:01,805
Mrs. Gordon?
583
00:24:06,916 --> 00:24:07,749
Hello?
584
00:24:13,655 --> 00:24:15,188
Hello?
585
00:24:15,188 --> 00:24:16,021
Hello!
586
00:24:17,603 --> 00:24:21,186
(waves crashing, seagulls)
587
00:24:23,960 --> 00:24:25,983
It's been a real blast, Mrs. Gordon.
588
00:24:25,983 --> 00:24:28,816
We should try this again sometime.
589
00:24:47,043 --> 00:24:47,876
Ah!
590
00:24:53,949 --> 00:24:57,282
(string and wind music)
591
00:25:15,495 --> 00:25:16,328
Monica?
592
00:25:19,267 --> 00:25:20,100
Monica?
593
00:25:21,864 --> 00:25:22,864
Is that you?
594
00:25:27,320 --> 00:25:28,948
- Hi, Tommy, how are you?
595
00:25:28,948 --> 00:25:29,781
- I'm surprised.
596
00:25:29,781 --> 00:25:31,223
What are you doing here?
597
00:25:31,223 --> 00:25:32,727
- Oh, you know me and the beach.
598
00:25:32,727 --> 00:25:33,674
Don't you remember?
599
00:25:33,674 --> 00:25:35,798
- Yes, I do remember.
600
00:25:35,798 --> 00:25:38,469
It's a shame the way
you've let yourself go.
601
00:25:38,469 --> 00:25:41,133
What is it, five years,
Monica, since I've seen you?
602
00:25:41,133 --> 00:25:42,515
- Must be.
603
00:25:42,515 --> 00:25:43,722
- Listen, I was
604
00:25:43,722 --> 00:25:45,904
supposed to be here to give
this lady a tennis lesson,
605
00:25:45,904 --> 00:25:47,849
but it looks like she stood me up.
606
00:25:47,849 --> 00:25:48,682
Maybe you know her.
607
00:25:48,682 --> 00:25:49,817
Mrs. Gordon?
608
00:25:49,817 --> 00:25:51,367
- Oh, yes, Mrs. Gordon!
609
00:25:51,367 --> 00:25:53,177
She's a very nice lady.
610
00:25:53,177 --> 00:25:54,624
- Really?
611
00:25:54,624 --> 00:25:57,765
- Would like me to introduce you?
612
00:25:57,765 --> 00:26:01,230
- Sure, that's what I came down here for.
613
00:26:01,230 --> 00:26:02,784
- Tommy Everett, Monica Gordon.
614
00:26:02,784 --> 00:26:04,155
Monica Gordon, Tommy Everett.
615
00:26:04,155 --> 00:26:05,322
How do you do!
616
00:26:06,292 --> 00:26:08,042
- How do you do?
- Hi.
617
00:26:09,723 --> 00:26:11,749
- You got married.
618
00:26:11,749 --> 00:26:14,053
- People do, Tommy.
619
00:26:14,053 --> 00:26:14,970
- I just...
620
00:26:15,835 --> 00:26:18,116
I never pictured you married.
621
00:26:18,116 --> 00:26:20,671
- Yeah, I seem to remember you
having that same difficulty
622
00:26:20,671 --> 00:26:22,279
about five years ago.
623
00:26:22,279 --> 00:26:23,112
- Yeah.
624
00:26:24,560 --> 00:26:26,609
- Don't rack your brain about it, Tommy.
625
00:26:26,609 --> 00:26:28,757
I'm not married anymore.
626
00:26:28,757 --> 00:26:30,886
Sam and I are divorced.
627
00:26:30,886 --> 00:26:31,719
- Oh.
628
00:26:33,720 --> 00:26:36,971
- It's a beautiful view, isn't it?
629
00:26:36,971 --> 00:26:38,850
- It certainly is.
630
00:26:38,850 --> 00:26:39,683
Beautiful.
631
00:26:40,585 --> 00:26:41,650
(chuckles)
632
00:26:41,650 --> 00:26:43,610
- You're still the same
old Tommy, aren't you?
633
00:26:43,610 --> 00:26:44,553
- You bet.
634
00:26:44,553 --> 00:26:46,421
I haven't changed a bit.
635
00:26:46,421 --> 00:26:48,785
- Well I'm afraid I have.
636
00:26:48,785 --> 00:26:50,514
Look, I want you to understand
637
00:26:50,514 --> 00:26:53,307
that it's really wonderful
to see you again.
638
00:26:53,307 --> 00:26:56,423
But I called you here for tennis lessons.
639
00:26:56,423 --> 00:26:57,782
- Tennis?
640
00:26:57,782 --> 00:27:02,418
- You are the best teacher on
the West Coast, aren't you?
641
00:27:02,418 --> 00:27:03,837
- I am.
642
00:27:03,837 --> 00:27:06,298
That's the rumor I've been
spreading around town.
643
00:27:06,298 --> 00:27:08,649
- Well, let's get on
with it, what do you say?
644
00:27:08,649 --> 00:27:10,286
- Busy for dinner?
645
00:27:10,286 --> 00:27:11,119
- Oh, Tom.
646
00:27:12,428 --> 00:27:13,261
- Come on.
647
00:27:13,261 --> 00:27:16,718
I promise you I will not attack you.
648
00:27:16,718 --> 00:27:17,842
At least until
649
00:27:17,842 --> 00:27:20,271
after our second lesson.
650
00:27:20,271 --> 00:27:21,519
- You are incredible!
651
00:27:21,519 --> 00:27:22,737
- Yes, you see?
652
00:27:22,737 --> 00:27:24,805
It's comin' back, isn't it?
- It's comin' back.
653
00:27:24,805 --> 00:27:27,282
- I'm gonna take you to
a very special place.
654
00:27:27,282 --> 00:27:30,395
You're gonna have a dinner that
you ain't ever gonna forget.
655
00:27:30,395 --> 00:27:32,386
- I can believe that.
656
00:27:32,386 --> 00:27:35,136
(foghorn blares)
657
00:27:40,906 --> 00:27:43,406
(engine revs)
658
00:27:46,225 --> 00:27:47,665
Hey, what is this?
659
00:27:47,665 --> 00:27:48,748
- Never mind.
660
00:27:50,747 --> 00:27:53,574
- I don't believe it.
- Come on, come on.
661
00:27:53,574 --> 00:27:54,560
Don't you remember this?
662
00:27:54,560 --> 00:27:55,519
This is our place!
663
00:27:55,519 --> 00:27:57,440
- You're crazy!
664
00:27:57,440 --> 00:27:58,443
But I'm not used to this.
665
00:27:58,443 --> 00:27:59,387
I'm used to caviar.
666
00:27:59,387 --> 00:28:01,639
- I know, well, nevertheless.
667
00:28:01,639 --> 00:28:02,875
- Alright, what'll ya's have?
668
00:28:02,875 --> 00:28:05,471
- The usual, Al, and
don't skip on the kraut.
669
00:28:05,471 --> 00:28:06,509
- What do you know?
670
00:28:06,509 --> 00:28:08,559
It's the tennis kid and his girl,
671
00:28:08,559 --> 00:28:10,445
Timmy and Mona!
672
00:28:10,445 --> 00:28:11,775
- Uh, Tommy.
673
00:28:11,775 --> 00:28:13,023
- And Monica.
674
00:28:13,023 --> 00:28:14,352
- Sure, I never forget a face.
675
00:28:14,352 --> 00:28:16,162
Two kraut dogs comin' up, huh?
676
00:28:16,162 --> 00:28:17,261
(laughs)
677
00:28:17,261 --> 00:28:18,388
So tell me, Terry boy,
678
00:28:18,388 --> 00:28:20,605
you still playin' tennis, huh?
679
00:28:20,605 --> 00:28:23,204
- Yeah, I guess you'd have to say that's
680
00:28:23,204 --> 00:28:24,139
still my racket.
681
00:28:24,139 --> 00:28:26,972
(laughs heartily)
682
00:28:35,734 --> 00:28:38,081
- I feel like I'm watching the Gong Show.
683
00:28:38,081 --> 00:28:41,085
- You know, somehow I knew
you two would stick together.
684
00:28:41,085 --> 00:28:41,996
How many kids you got?
685
00:28:41,996 --> 00:28:43,444
- We're...
686
00:28:43,444 --> 00:28:45,215
We're really not married, Al.
687
00:28:45,215 --> 00:28:46,048
- Oh?
688
00:28:46,048 --> 00:28:48,176
- But if there's ever a wedding ceremony,
689
00:28:48,176 --> 00:28:49,241
you can cater it.
690
00:28:49,241 --> 00:28:51,130
- Hey, it's a deal, huh?
691
00:28:51,130 --> 00:28:51,963
- [Tommy] How much do I owe ya?
692
00:28:51,963 --> 00:28:53,040
- No, no, no, no.
693
00:28:53,040 --> 00:28:54,381
It's on me.
694
00:28:54,381 --> 00:28:55,518
For old time's sake?
695
00:28:55,518 --> 00:28:56,587
- Thank you very much.
696
00:28:56,587 --> 00:28:57,823
Thanks, Al.
697
00:28:57,823 --> 00:28:59,490
Come on, Mona.
- Bye.
698
00:29:01,985 --> 00:29:02,818
Wise guy.
699
00:29:04,921 --> 00:29:05,921
- Hey, Tony!
700
00:29:08,229 --> 00:29:09,896
- I think that's me.
701
00:29:12,986 --> 00:29:15,058
- Hey, I hope everything was alright.
702
00:29:15,058 --> 00:29:16,358
Know what I mean?
703
00:29:16,358 --> 00:29:18,697
I mean I don't get the
good dogs like I used to.
704
00:29:18,697 --> 00:29:19,993
- No, it was super, Al.
705
00:29:19,993 --> 00:29:23,439
- Believe me, it's a real problem to me.
706
00:29:23,439 --> 00:29:25,738
I mean I get a lot of
meat, know what I mean?
707
00:29:25,738 --> 00:29:28,972
But very little of it quality.
708
00:29:28,972 --> 00:29:29,983
- I...
709
00:29:29,983 --> 00:29:32,560
I know what you mean, Al.
710
00:29:32,560 --> 00:29:35,948
I have the same problem myself.
711
00:29:35,948 --> 00:29:38,198
(chuckles)
712
00:29:40,740 --> 00:29:44,240
- They're just as bad as they always were.
713
00:29:45,115 --> 00:29:48,998
(car starts, engine revs)
714
00:29:48,998 --> 00:29:50,403
- Yes, Mrs. Landsberg, that's right.
715
00:29:50,403 --> 00:29:51,322
You have a 2:30 appointment--
716
00:29:51,322 --> 00:29:52,338
- Vera, darling!
717
00:29:52,338 --> 00:29:54,489
What's my next appointment?
718
00:29:54,489 --> 00:29:56,378
- It's with Mrs. Sargent at 3:30.
719
00:29:56,378 --> 00:29:57,258
- Mrs. Sargent.
720
00:29:57,258 --> 00:29:58,675
Thank you, honey.
721
00:30:00,740 --> 00:30:05,082
- Silvia, doll, you look
absolutely fabulous!
722
00:30:05,082 --> 00:30:06,082
And so do I.
723
00:30:07,165 --> 00:30:09,346
Phyllis, how's the man?
724
00:30:09,346 --> 00:30:11,687
Tony, Tony, no, no!
725
00:30:11,687 --> 00:30:14,206
You must blow it out and make it fuller.
726
00:30:14,206 --> 00:30:15,589
Oh my god!
727
00:30:15,589 --> 00:30:16,593
Will you look?
728
00:30:16,593 --> 00:30:17,481
Garbo!
729
00:30:17,481 --> 00:30:18,700
Lamarr!
730
00:30:18,700 --> 00:30:20,071
And now Mrs. Kaufman.
731
00:30:20,071 --> 00:30:22,613
- Scotty, really, you flatter me.
732
00:30:22,613 --> 00:30:24,075
I know you must think I'm crazy
733
00:30:24,075 --> 00:30:27,212
getting my nails done for a tennis lesson.
734
00:30:27,212 --> 00:30:30,481
But Tommy, my teacher,
is a stickler for detail.
735
00:30:30,481 --> 00:30:32,152
And he notices everything.
736
00:30:32,152 --> 00:30:33,663
- Darling, how are you?
737
00:30:33,663 --> 00:30:34,934
- Hello, Mrs. Kaufman.
738
00:30:34,934 --> 00:30:36,496
- [Mrs. Kaufman] Hello, dear.
739
00:30:36,496 --> 00:30:38,572
- Oh, good lord, not Ronnie Rue Red.
740
00:30:38,572 --> 00:30:40,080
That's for amateurs.
741
00:30:40,080 --> 00:30:40,913
- What color do you want?
742
00:30:40,913 --> 00:30:42,689
- Like, Orgy Orange.
743
00:30:42,689 --> 00:30:45,232
- Even something more daring than that!
744
00:30:45,232 --> 00:30:46,787
- Okay, Grab-Ass Green.
745
00:30:46,787 --> 00:30:48,517
- Ooh, that sounds nice.
746
00:30:48,517 --> 00:30:49,557
I'll try it!
747
00:30:49,557 --> 00:30:50,474
- It's you.
748
00:30:52,584 --> 00:30:54,334
Believe me, it's you.
749
00:30:55,838 --> 00:30:57,475
Oh my god, sweetie!
750
00:30:57,475 --> 00:30:59,599
You're looking as fresh as Summer's Eve.
751
00:30:59,599 --> 00:31:01,480
Who are you today, Lady Godiva?
752
00:31:01,480 --> 00:31:04,397
- I look like shit and you know it.
753
00:31:07,755 --> 00:31:09,516
We were Hansel and Gretel.
754
00:31:09,516 --> 00:31:11,676
It's the last time I
try to screw in an oven.
755
00:31:11,676 --> 00:31:14,039
(chuckles)
756
00:31:14,039 --> 00:31:14,881
Scotty,
757
00:31:14,881 --> 00:31:16,436
you don't think I'm crazy, do you?
758
00:31:16,436 --> 00:31:18,190
- We've all been there, honey.
759
00:31:18,190 --> 00:31:20,146
How's your big love affair going?
760
00:31:20,146 --> 00:31:22,677
- He sure knows how to treat a woman.
761
00:31:22,677 --> 00:31:24,680
- Why can't I meet a man like that?
762
00:31:24,680 --> 00:31:26,212
- There just aren't any, Gracie.
763
00:31:26,212 --> 00:31:27,367
- Ain't that the truth.
764
00:31:27,367 --> 00:31:29,945
And your husband still
don't suspect anything?
765
00:31:29,945 --> 00:31:32,759
- He thinks Tommy's
giving me tennis lessons.
766
00:31:32,759 --> 00:31:34,435
- Tommy, so that's his name.
767
00:31:34,435 --> 00:31:35,784
- Tommy Everett!
768
00:31:35,784 --> 00:31:38,475
He's some kinda Olympic
champion or somethin'.
769
00:31:38,475 --> 00:31:39,587
(crash)
770
00:31:39,587 --> 00:31:40,905
What the hell is that?
771
00:31:40,905 --> 00:31:42,416
- Mice, honey, mice.
772
00:31:42,416 --> 00:31:45,502
- What, were they wearing army shoes?
773
00:31:45,502 --> 00:31:46,335
- Leslie, darling,
774
00:31:46,335 --> 00:31:48,730
the love affair sounds
like sheer perfection.
775
00:31:48,730 --> 00:31:49,647
- Mm, yeah.
776
00:31:51,150 --> 00:31:54,096
It's beginning to get a little sticky.
777
00:31:54,096 --> 00:31:56,805
Tommy wants me to lend him
money for a new school.
778
00:31:56,805 --> 00:31:58,786
He's beginning to hound me.
779
00:31:58,786 --> 00:32:02,401
I don't know how much longer
I can string him along!
780
00:32:02,401 --> 00:32:04,763
- You always get what you pay for.
781
00:32:04,763 --> 00:32:06,482
Ooh, did I say that?
782
00:32:06,482 --> 00:32:07,540
- Bitch.
783
00:32:07,540 --> 00:32:09,328
- [Stroke Master] What a nice return.
784
00:32:09,328 --> 00:32:10,384
Mon cheri.
785
00:32:10,384 --> 00:32:11,961
C'est magnifique!
786
00:32:11,961 --> 00:32:13,919
What style and grace.
787
00:32:13,919 --> 00:32:16,221
You are poetry in motion.
788
00:32:16,221 --> 00:32:19,150
Look at that form and that backhand.
789
00:32:19,150 --> 00:32:22,191
And, ooh-la-la, all the rest of you.
790
00:32:22,191 --> 00:32:23,863
You're like one supreme, beautiful,
791
00:32:23,863 --> 00:32:26,428
bubbling orgasmic ballet.
792
00:32:26,428 --> 00:32:28,026
You're too much for me.
793
00:32:28,026 --> 00:32:30,400
You're tiring me out.
794
00:32:30,400 --> 00:32:32,030
If you care to play another game,
795
00:32:32,030 --> 00:32:33,772
simply deposit one dollar
796
00:32:33,772 --> 00:32:35,580
in your very own tennis butler,
797
00:32:35,580 --> 00:32:37,842
Pierre the Stroke Master.
798
00:32:37,842 --> 00:32:39,313
- Mrs. Kaufman, where are you?
799
00:32:39,313 --> 00:32:41,002
- [Stroke Master] We also
accept Visa, Master Charge,
800
00:32:41,002 --> 00:32:42,400
and American Express.
801
00:32:42,400 --> 00:32:43,963
- Where are you?
802
00:32:43,963 --> 00:32:45,046
Are you here?
803
00:32:46,315 --> 00:32:48,213
- Oh, hello, Tommy!
804
00:32:48,213 --> 00:32:50,353
Let's get right to the lesson, huh?
805
00:32:50,353 --> 00:32:52,619
- Sure, sure, what a beautiful home.
806
00:32:52,619 --> 00:32:54,210
You should take all
your lessons in private.
807
00:32:54,210 --> 00:32:55,369
- Do you think so?
808
00:32:55,369 --> 00:32:56,224
(giggles)
809
00:32:56,224 --> 00:32:57,937
I'm so glad you like it, Tommy.
810
00:32:57,937 --> 00:32:59,478
- It's beautiful, beautiful!
811
00:32:59,478 --> 00:33:00,849
Listen, let's get right to it, shall we?
812
00:33:00,849 --> 00:33:01,960
- Of course!
813
00:33:01,960 --> 00:33:03,852
By the way, you're looking tired.
814
00:33:03,852 --> 00:33:05,059
You know what they say,
815
00:33:05,059 --> 00:33:07,260
all work and no play!
816
00:33:07,260 --> 00:33:08,461
- Well, Mrs. Kaufman, I'll tell you what.
817
00:33:08,461 --> 00:33:11,397
I am trying to raise money
for my own tennis school.
818
00:33:11,397 --> 00:33:12,692
I don't wanna have to work so hard.
819
00:33:12,692 --> 00:33:14,465
- Gosh, I wish I'd known.
820
00:33:14,465 --> 00:33:17,437
I'm always looking for
sound business investments.
821
00:33:17,437 --> 00:33:19,428
And even some that aren't so sound!
822
00:33:19,428 --> 00:33:21,690
(laughs)
823
00:33:21,690 --> 00:33:23,143
- Let me help you.
824
00:33:23,143 --> 00:33:25,841
- Thank you.
- There you go.
825
00:33:25,841 --> 00:33:27,450
(grunts)
826
00:33:27,450 --> 00:33:30,084
- I'm a widow, all alone in the world,
827
00:33:30,084 --> 00:33:31,834
with oodles of money.
828
00:33:33,021 --> 00:33:33,906
- Listen,
829
00:33:33,906 --> 00:33:35,617
speaking of all alone,
830
00:33:35,617 --> 00:33:37,958
I thought I heard some
voices when I came over.
831
00:33:37,958 --> 00:33:38,791
- Voices?
832
00:33:39,625 --> 00:33:40,458
Nonsense!
833
00:33:41,412 --> 00:33:42,412
We're alone!
834
00:33:44,067 --> 00:33:45,383
- That's it, eye on the ball.
835
00:33:45,383 --> 00:33:46,441
Look out.
836
00:33:46,441 --> 00:33:48,774
(whistling)
837
00:33:50,159 --> 00:33:51,376
It's all right.
838
00:33:51,376 --> 00:33:53,288
- [Stroke Master] To think
that you would play with me.
839
00:33:53,288 --> 00:33:54,850
How lucky I am.
840
00:33:54,850 --> 00:33:56,152
You sexy delight.
841
00:33:56,152 --> 00:33:57,557
(slide whistle, birds chirping)
842
00:33:57,557 --> 00:33:58,990
You sexy delight.
843
00:33:58,990 --> 00:34:02,031
(cymbal crash)
844
00:34:02,031 --> 00:34:03,279
- [Monica] Tommy Everett,
845
00:34:03,279 --> 00:34:06,112
what a wonderful day for a picnic.
846
00:34:08,364 --> 00:34:09,601
- I don't care, I got my bottle.
847
00:34:09,601 --> 00:34:11,393
(both chuckle)
848
00:34:11,393 --> 00:34:13,525
Listen, I bet you're fancy ex-husband
849
00:34:13,525 --> 00:34:15,215
never took you for a picnic in the rain.
850
00:34:15,215 --> 00:34:17,644
Besides, it stopped anyway.
- Yeah.
851
00:34:17,644 --> 00:34:19,577
Well, you're right, Sam
was never creative enough
852
00:34:19,577 --> 00:34:21,530
to bring me for a picnic
in the rain in Venice.
853
00:34:21,530 --> 00:34:23,408
- There you are.
854
00:34:23,408 --> 00:34:24,293
Oh, damn it.
855
00:34:24,293 --> 00:34:25,912
- What's the matter?
856
00:34:25,912 --> 00:34:28,210
- I forgot the suntan lotion.
857
00:34:28,210 --> 00:34:29,959
- You're cute.
- Well, listen.
858
00:34:29,959 --> 00:34:31,770
I could smear it on the chicken.
859
00:34:31,770 --> 00:34:33,650
It could stand to be a little browner.
860
00:34:33,650 --> 00:34:34,483
Isn't that...
861
00:34:34,483 --> 00:34:35,642
That's awful.
862
00:34:35,642 --> 00:34:36,475
- Yuck!
863
00:34:37,743 --> 00:34:41,143
What about Bambi, that
girl that you live with?
864
00:34:41,143 --> 00:34:43,484
Did you ever bring her to
Venice for a picnic in the rain?
865
00:34:43,484 --> 00:34:45,022
- Did you ever bring her for a picnic...
866
00:34:45,022 --> 00:34:46,263
- I was just curious.
867
00:34:46,263 --> 00:34:49,095
- It's not that way between us, she...
868
00:34:49,095 --> 00:34:50,949
Bambi is a...
869
00:34:50,949 --> 00:34:52,116
A convenience.
870
00:34:54,506 --> 00:34:57,086
I mean, I'm just a stopping-off place.
871
00:34:57,086 --> 00:34:58,471
She's looking for a rich producer
872
00:34:58,471 --> 00:35:01,554
who's gonna whisk her off to stardom.
873
00:35:02,742 --> 00:35:04,518
No, there's only
874
00:35:04,518 --> 00:35:06,225
two important things in my life right now.
875
00:35:06,225 --> 00:35:07,461
One is
876
00:35:07,461 --> 00:35:11,099
getting my own place, my own court.
877
00:35:11,099 --> 00:35:13,673
I want to be my own boss.
878
00:35:13,673 --> 00:35:16,000
Instead of having Charlie
run my ass ragged.
879
00:35:16,000 --> 00:35:17,045
And the other
880
00:35:17,045 --> 00:35:18,295
important thing
881
00:35:19,894 --> 00:35:20,727
is you.
882
00:35:27,982 --> 00:35:30,490
- You make me feel like a kid again.
883
00:35:30,490 --> 00:35:31,323
- Good.
884
00:35:32,235 --> 00:35:35,152
- But I'm not a kid anymore, Tommy.
885
00:35:36,095 --> 00:35:39,987
And I won't allow myself to be hurt again.
886
00:35:39,987 --> 00:35:42,071
- Now wait a minute.
887
00:35:42,071 --> 00:35:45,745
You were the one who walked out on me.
888
00:35:45,745 --> 00:35:47,173
- Oh, no.
889
00:35:47,173 --> 00:35:51,394
I just physically vacated the
premises first, that's all.
890
00:35:51,394 --> 00:35:53,227
- What does that mean?
891
00:35:54,735 --> 00:35:56,402
- What that means is
892
00:35:58,104 --> 00:36:00,513
you have spent your whole life
893
00:36:00,513 --> 00:36:02,649
trying to make everybody happy.
894
00:36:02,649 --> 00:36:05,587
Trying to please everyone.
895
00:36:05,587 --> 00:36:07,837
And you were never pleased.
896
00:36:09,840 --> 00:36:12,590
You can't please everyone, Tommy.
897
00:36:14,026 --> 00:36:18,193
You only end up hurting the
people that you love the most.
898
00:36:20,755 --> 00:36:22,369
You know what your problem is?
899
00:36:22,369 --> 00:36:23,843
- No, what is my problem?
900
00:36:23,843 --> 00:36:26,038
- Your problem is
901
00:36:26,038 --> 00:36:28,121
you simply cannot say no.
902
00:36:30,740 --> 00:36:32,711
- That's not true, I can say no.
903
00:36:32,711 --> 00:36:33,914
- You can't.
904
00:36:33,914 --> 00:36:34,747
You can't.
905
00:36:37,619 --> 00:36:38,452
- Okay.
906
00:36:39,765 --> 00:36:41,746
Okay, enough of this
907
00:36:41,746 --> 00:36:44,305
analyzing Tommy Everett, I'll say no.
908
00:36:44,305 --> 00:36:45,785
I will say no from now on.
909
00:36:45,785 --> 00:36:47,161
I'll be a different person
910
00:36:47,161 --> 00:36:49,397
and no matter what anybody asks me,
911
00:36:49,397 --> 00:36:50,755
I'll say no.
- Oh, sure.
912
00:36:50,755 --> 00:36:52,547
- No, really, I mean it, I'm gonna change.
913
00:36:52,547 --> 00:36:53,593
Now can we have our picnic?
914
00:36:53,593 --> 00:36:55,190
- Yes, yes, yes.
915
00:36:55,190 --> 00:36:58,046
Can I have some chicken?
- No.
916
00:36:58,046 --> 00:36:59,673
- Yes, may I please have some chicken?
917
00:36:59,673 --> 00:37:00,506
- No.
918
00:37:00,506 --> 00:37:01,497
It's the new Tommy Everett.
919
00:37:01,497 --> 00:37:03,262
- May I please have some chicken?
920
00:37:03,262 --> 00:37:04,410
- The answer is no!
921
00:37:04,410 --> 00:37:06,077
- Yes, yes!
- No, no!
922
00:37:11,487 --> 00:37:16,487
♪ From the first time that I saw you ♪
923
00:37:18,692 --> 00:37:23,692
♪ And without knowing how ♪
924
00:37:25,826 --> 00:37:30,826
♪ I have always seen us this way ♪
925
00:37:31,126 --> 00:37:35,526
♪ Just though we're lying here ♪
926
00:37:35,526 --> 00:37:40,271
♪ Right now ♪
927
00:37:40,271 --> 00:37:43,946
♪ But it wasn't very clear ♪
928
00:37:43,946 --> 00:37:47,156
♪ Until you were this near ♪
929
00:37:47,156 --> 00:37:50,564
♪ And I really saw your eyes ♪
930
00:37:50,564 --> 00:37:53,976
♪ That I finally recognized ♪
931
00:37:53,976 --> 00:37:58,976
♪ You were destined to be mine ♪
932
00:37:59,558 --> 00:38:02,918
♪ The same great love in another time ♪
933
00:38:02,918 --> 00:38:05,332
♪ Yes, you and I ♪
934
00:38:05,332 --> 00:38:06,582
♪ We came alive ♪
935
00:38:06,582 --> 00:38:10,138
♪ Through a hundred ages
on a thousand stages ♪
936
00:38:10,138 --> 00:38:11,844
♪ You and I ♪
937
00:38:11,844 --> 00:38:13,447
♪ Have survived ♪
938
00:38:13,447 --> 00:38:17,088
♪ In so many places with so many faces ♪
939
00:38:17,088 --> 00:38:18,834
♪ Romeo ♪
940
00:38:18,834 --> 00:38:20,331
♪ Juliet ♪
941
00:38:20,331 --> 00:38:23,996
♪ Are the greatest loves
the world can't forget ♪
942
00:38:23,996 --> 00:38:25,712
♪ Again, you and I ♪
943
00:38:25,712 --> 00:38:27,538
♪ Will never die ♪
944
00:38:27,538 --> 00:38:31,369
♪ We're kept alive in
the hearts of lovers ♪
945
00:38:31,369 --> 00:38:34,593
♪ Waiting patiently ♪
946
00:38:34,593 --> 00:38:37,815
♪ With eyes that long to see ♪
947
00:38:37,815 --> 00:38:42,815
♪ That someone we have
waited for through history ♪
948
00:38:44,954 --> 00:38:49,954
♪ And now again it's time for you and me ♪
949
00:38:50,100 --> 00:38:55,100
♪ I can still remember clearly ♪
950
00:38:56,718 --> 00:39:01,718
♪ As though it weren't over yet ♪
951
00:39:03,683 --> 00:39:08,683
♪ Just how selfless we were staring ♪
952
00:39:09,543 --> 00:39:11,295
♪ Even though ♪
953
00:39:11,295 --> 00:39:16,295
♪ We had never met ♪
954
00:39:18,114 --> 00:39:21,564
♪ But then the moment broke ♪
955
00:39:21,564 --> 00:39:25,163
♪ Still neither of us spoke ♪
956
00:39:25,163 --> 00:39:28,825
♪ We knew our time had come ♪
957
00:39:28,825 --> 00:39:32,060
♪ And nothing could be done ♪
958
00:39:32,060 --> 00:39:37,060
♪ Once you placed your hand in mine ♪
959
00:39:37,368 --> 00:39:40,663
♪ The same great love in another time ♪
960
00:39:40,663 --> 00:39:42,744
♪ Yes, you and I ♪
961
00:39:42,744 --> 00:39:44,363
♪ We've been alive ♪
962
00:39:44,363 --> 00:39:48,045
♪ Through a hundred ages
on a thousand stages ♪
963
00:39:48,045 --> 00:39:49,822
♪ You and I ♪
964
00:39:49,822 --> 00:39:51,347
♪ Have survived ♪
965
00:39:51,347 --> 00:39:54,995
♪ In so many places with so many faces ♪
966
00:39:54,995 --> 00:39:56,745
♪ Romeo ♪
967
00:39:56,745 --> 00:39:58,353
♪ Juliet ♪
968
00:39:58,353 --> 00:40:01,626
♪ Are the greatest loves
the world can't forget ♪
969
00:40:01,626 --> 00:40:03,806
♪ Again, you and I ♪
970
00:40:03,806 --> 00:40:05,470
♪ Will never die ♪
971
00:40:05,470 --> 00:40:09,032
♪ We're kept alive in
the hearts of lovers ♪
972
00:40:09,032 --> 00:40:12,330
♪ Waiting patiently ♪
973
00:40:12,330 --> 00:40:15,867
♪ With eyes that long to see ♪
974
00:40:15,867 --> 00:40:20,867
♪ That someone they have
waited for through history ♪
975
00:40:22,736 --> 00:40:26,124
♪ And now again, it's time again ♪
976
00:40:26,124 --> 00:40:28,232
♪ For you and I ♪
977
00:40:28,232 --> 00:40:29,921
♪ We've been alive ♪
978
00:40:29,921 --> 00:40:33,517
♪ Through a hundred ages
on a thousand stages ♪
979
00:40:33,517 --> 00:40:35,290
♪ You and I ♪
980
00:40:35,290 --> 00:40:36,796
♪ Have survived ♪
981
00:40:36,796 --> 00:40:40,489
♪ In so many places with so many faces ♪
982
00:40:40,489 --> 00:40:42,259
♪ Romeo ♪
983
00:40:42,259 --> 00:40:43,748
♪ Juliet ♪
984
00:40:43,748 --> 00:40:47,136
♪ Are the greatest loves
the world can't forget ♪
985
00:40:47,136 --> 00:40:49,225
♪ Again, you and I ♪
986
00:40:49,225 --> 00:40:50,982
♪ Will never die ♪
987
00:40:50,982 --> 00:40:54,613
♪ We're kept alive in
the hearts of lovers ♪
988
00:40:54,613 --> 00:40:56,182
♪ You and I ♪
989
00:40:56,182 --> 00:40:57,898
♪ Have been alive ♪
990
00:40:57,898 --> 00:41:01,512
♪ Through a hundred ages
on a thousand stages ♪
991
00:41:01,512 --> 00:41:03,244
♪ You and I ♪
992
00:41:03,244 --> 00:41:05,621
♪ Have survived ♪
993
00:41:05,621 --> 00:41:06,762
- [Leslie] Honestly, Arthur.
994
00:41:06,762 --> 00:41:08,904
Two business trips in one week?
995
00:41:08,904 --> 00:41:10,288
What are you really up to?
996
00:41:10,288 --> 00:41:12,348
- Really up to your ass!
997
00:41:12,348 --> 00:41:15,051
These business trips pay
for the bills, Leslie!
998
00:41:15,051 --> 00:41:16,703
- Bills, bills, bills.
999
00:41:16,703 --> 00:41:18,523
Is that all you ever think about?
1000
00:41:18,523 --> 00:41:19,588
(Arthur chuckles)
1001
00:41:19,588 --> 00:41:21,503
- Your hobby is spending money.
1002
00:41:21,503 --> 00:41:23,027
If you had an occupation,
1003
00:41:23,027 --> 00:41:24,741
that would be spending money!
1004
00:41:24,741 --> 00:41:26,439
And if there was a fake category,
1005
00:41:26,439 --> 00:41:28,347
that would also be spending money.
1006
00:41:28,347 --> 00:41:29,373
- Like for instance?
1007
00:41:29,373 --> 00:41:31,040
- Like for instance?
1008
00:41:32,056 --> 00:41:35,479
Like buying a $24,000 Mercedes-Benz!
1009
00:41:35,479 --> 00:41:38,788
And then having naked
Marvel Comics superheroes
1010
00:41:38,788 --> 00:41:41,526
painted all over the outside of it!
1011
00:41:41,526 --> 00:41:43,110
- That's a very mod thing to do.
1012
00:41:43,110 --> 00:41:44,573
- Your ass it is.
1013
00:41:44,573 --> 00:41:46,036
Buy a Volkswagen, maybe,
1014
00:41:46,036 --> 00:41:48,521
and I won't give a damn
what you put on it!
1015
00:41:48,521 --> 00:41:50,802
Yeah, how about that
eight-foot dirty statue
1016
00:41:50,802 --> 00:41:52,328
you bought that's down in the hallway?
1017
00:41:52,328 --> 00:41:54,411
- That happens to be art.
1018
00:41:55,371 --> 00:41:56,758
It is Aristotle
1019
00:41:56,758 --> 00:41:58,675
contemplating Socrates.
1020
00:42:00,624 --> 00:42:02,302
- It's two old Greeks
1021
00:42:02,302 --> 00:42:04,606
holding each other by the balls!
1022
00:42:04,606 --> 00:42:06,621
That's what it is.
1023
00:42:06,621 --> 00:42:08,288
And it cost $16,000!
1024
00:42:13,229 --> 00:42:14,979
That's $4,000 a ball!
1025
00:42:16,197 --> 00:42:17,030
- Creep.
1026
00:42:17,030 --> 00:42:18,155
- And then there's this.
1027
00:42:18,155 --> 00:42:21,029
$350 for lousy tennis lessons!
1028
00:42:21,029 --> 00:42:24,517
- I take those lessons to keep in shape.
1029
00:42:24,517 --> 00:42:25,857
Tell me,
1030
00:42:25,857 --> 00:42:29,093
do you see any fat on this old bod?
1031
00:42:29,093 --> 00:42:31,145
- You do look pretty good.
1032
00:42:31,145 --> 00:42:33,643
Now that you mention
it, you look damn good.
1033
00:42:33,643 --> 00:42:35,083
- It's all Tommy's doing.
1034
00:42:35,083 --> 00:42:37,567
He's worth every cent you pay him.
1035
00:42:37,567 --> 00:42:40,034
- Hey, you think he
could do anything for me?
1036
00:42:40,034 --> 00:42:42,927
- I wouldn't be a bit surprised.
1037
00:42:42,927 --> 00:42:44,098
(car horn honks)
1038
00:42:44,098 --> 00:42:46,100
- Oh, damn it, there's my cab.
1039
00:42:46,100 --> 00:42:47,899
Honey, I gotta go.
1040
00:42:47,899 --> 00:42:49,440
- Oh, I'll be needing some spending money.
1041
00:42:49,440 --> 00:42:52,722
A few hundred, say seven or eight.
1042
00:42:52,722 --> 00:42:55,050
- Honey, I'll be back day after tomorrow.
1043
00:42:55,050 --> 00:42:56,278
Oh, listen, dear.
1044
00:42:56,278 --> 00:42:58,236
When I come home,
1045
00:42:58,236 --> 00:42:59,069
can we make love,
1046
00:42:59,069 --> 00:43:00,858
you know, the way I like?
1047
00:43:00,858 --> 00:43:02,026
- You got it.
1048
00:43:02,026 --> 00:43:03,999
I'll smear myself with Limburger cheese
1049
00:43:03,999 --> 00:43:05,428
and put on the feathers.
1050
00:43:05,428 --> 00:43:07,261
- Oh, you're the best.
1051
00:43:08,344 --> 00:43:10,658
Will you make turkey sounds just for me?
1052
00:43:10,658 --> 00:43:13,313
- Oh, you know I will.
1053
00:43:13,313 --> 00:43:15,947
- Will you gobble-gobble when we climax?
1054
00:43:15,947 --> 00:43:16,813
- Gobble-gobble-gobble-gobble...
1055
00:43:16,813 --> 00:43:18,402
- Oh, Jesus, don't!
1056
00:43:18,402 --> 00:43:20,848
Not now, honey, I gotta get outta here.
1057
00:43:20,848 --> 00:43:22,254
Please, honey, get me a doctor!
1058
00:43:22,254 --> 00:43:24,221
Honey, stop, I'll pole
vault to the airport.
1059
00:43:24,221 --> 00:43:25,442
Don't! Oh, please!
1060
00:43:25,442 --> 00:43:28,109
- Gobble-gobble-gobble-gobble...
1061
00:43:29,314 --> 00:43:30,707
(exhales deeply)
1062
00:43:30,707 --> 00:43:32,518
(disco music plays)
1063
00:43:32,518 --> 00:43:33,529
- [Tommy] Bambi?
1064
00:43:33,529 --> 00:43:34,521
Your roommate's home.
1065
00:43:34,521 --> 00:43:36,582
- Arnold's got an opening
tonight for dinner and dancing.
1066
00:43:36,582 --> 00:43:38,312
It's free, wanna go?
1067
00:43:38,312 --> 00:43:40,506
- No, I don't think so.
1068
00:43:40,506 --> 00:43:41,853
I'm kinda bushed.
1069
00:43:41,853 --> 00:43:43,610
I think I'm gonna stay home
1070
00:43:43,610 --> 00:43:46,520
and work on the figures
for the tennis court.
1071
00:43:46,520 --> 00:43:49,202
- Tommy, I thought you
said that we was all set!
1072
00:43:49,202 --> 00:43:50,365
- It is all set.
1073
00:43:50,365 --> 00:43:51,916
But you know how it is with big business.
1074
00:43:51,916 --> 00:43:53,290
I mean you gotta
1075
00:43:53,290 --> 00:43:54,790
stay on top of it.
1076
00:43:55,810 --> 00:43:56,798
- Yeah, I guess.
1077
00:43:56,798 --> 00:43:57,631
Here you go, baby.
1078
00:43:57,631 --> 00:43:59,625
- Oh, thanks, hon.
1079
00:43:59,625 --> 00:44:00,583
- So you gonna--
(doorbell rings)
1080
00:44:00,583 --> 00:44:01,685
Oh, that must be Arnold!
1081
00:44:01,685 --> 00:44:02,730
Early as usual.
1082
00:44:02,730 --> 00:44:03,676
Get it will you, baby?
1083
00:44:03,676 --> 00:44:05,843
- Yeah, yeah, I'll get it.
1084
00:44:17,493 --> 00:44:18,863
Arnold Moss?
1085
00:44:18,863 --> 00:44:20,035
- Yeah.
1086
00:44:20,035 --> 00:44:20,868
- Come on in.
1087
00:44:20,868 --> 00:44:21,934
Want a drink?
1088
00:44:21,934 --> 00:44:23,488
- I don't drink.
1089
00:44:23,488 --> 00:44:24,321
Wait...
1090
00:44:24,321 --> 00:44:25,321
Who are you?
1091
00:44:26,977 --> 00:44:29,113
What are you doing here?
1092
00:44:29,113 --> 00:44:30,710
- I'm Bambi's roommate.
1093
00:44:30,710 --> 00:44:32,015
- Bambi's room...
1094
00:44:32,015 --> 00:44:34,141
She told me she was living with a...
1095
00:44:34,141 --> 00:44:34,974
A girl.
1096
00:44:35,996 --> 00:44:37,479
- Oh.
1097
00:44:37,479 --> 00:44:38,396
Well, um...
1098
00:44:39,587 --> 00:44:42,240
I always try to look my best.
1099
00:44:42,240 --> 00:44:45,548
Actually, I have this in several colors.
1100
00:44:45,548 --> 00:44:47,393
My favorite is
1101
00:44:47,393 --> 00:44:48,226
puce.
1102
00:44:53,123 --> 00:44:56,483
- Uh, do you mind if I use the phone?
1103
00:44:56,483 --> 00:44:59,180
- No, go ahead.
- Thanks.
1104
00:44:59,180 --> 00:45:01,847
(phone dialing)
1105
00:45:11,196 --> 00:45:12,529
Arnold Moss, 49.
1106
00:45:13,619 --> 00:45:16,841
- Jesus, you mean there's 48 more?
1107
00:45:16,841 --> 00:45:17,841
- I'll hold.
1108
00:45:26,088 --> 00:45:26,921
Listen,
1109
00:45:26,921 --> 00:45:28,922
what is it exactly that you do?
1110
00:45:28,922 --> 00:45:30,002
- Didn't Bambi tell you?
1111
00:45:30,002 --> 00:45:30,835
I'm a pro.
1112
00:45:32,759 --> 00:45:34,108
- I get it.
1113
00:45:34,108 --> 00:45:35,376
You mean a hooker.
1114
00:45:35,376 --> 00:45:36,209
Right?
1115
00:45:40,629 --> 00:45:42,995
I'll call you back.
1116
00:45:42,995 --> 00:45:43,860
- Well!
1117
00:45:43,860 --> 00:45:45,815
I see you two have met.
1118
00:45:45,815 --> 00:45:46,952
- Well, you might say that.
1119
00:45:46,952 --> 00:45:49,488
We've just been discussing what he
1120
00:45:49,488 --> 00:45:51,160
does for a living.
1121
00:45:51,160 --> 00:45:52,986
- Tommy's a champ.
1122
00:45:52,986 --> 00:45:54,525
He teaches, too.
1123
00:45:54,525 --> 00:45:58,753
Gonna open his own school
soon, aren't you, Tommy?
1124
00:45:58,753 --> 00:45:59,753
- Wonderful.
1125
00:46:00,880 --> 00:46:01,713
Let's go Bambi.
1126
00:46:01,713 --> 00:46:02,795
I think we're gonna be very late tonight.
1127
00:46:02,795 --> 00:46:03,997
- Arnold!
1128
00:46:03,997 --> 00:46:05,832
I don't know what you're
being so hostile about.
1129
00:46:05,832 --> 00:46:07,103
- I'm not being hostile!
1130
00:46:07,103 --> 00:46:10,197
- You could learn a lot
from a pro like Tommy.
1131
00:46:10,197 --> 00:46:13,780
- I think what you do
is really disgusting.
1132
00:46:15,607 --> 00:46:16,774
- Bye, Arnold!
1133
00:46:25,708 --> 00:46:28,208
(phone ringing)
1134
00:46:28,208 --> 00:46:31,705
(phone ringing)
1135
00:46:31,705 --> 00:46:32,976
He's not here.
1136
00:46:32,976 --> 00:46:34,924
- Hi, Tommy, it's me!
1137
00:46:34,924 --> 00:46:35,757
- Oh...
1138
00:46:36,858 --> 00:46:38,049
Hi, Leslie.
1139
00:46:38,049 --> 00:46:40,335
- I just got rid of the turkey freak.
1140
00:46:40,335 --> 00:46:41,502
I'm all alone.
1141
00:46:42,674 --> 00:46:44,476
Come on over.
1142
00:46:44,476 --> 00:46:47,649
- I got a headache and I put
the car in the shop, I can't.
1143
00:46:47,649 --> 00:46:50,988
- I'll have some aspirin and a
cab to get you in 15 minutes.
1144
00:46:50,988 --> 00:46:51,998
- [Tommy] Wait a minute, Leslie,
1145
00:46:51,998 --> 00:46:53,010
have you talked to your husband
1146
00:46:53,010 --> 00:46:55,149
about the money for the court yet?
1147
00:46:55,149 --> 00:46:56,296
- [Leslie] 14 minutes.
1148
00:46:56,296 --> 00:46:57,938
Bye...
1149
00:46:57,938 --> 00:47:00,795
- So, the latest sex
maniac they're lookin' for
1150
00:47:00,795 --> 00:47:03,704
is this guy who goes around in his shorts
1151
00:47:03,704 --> 00:47:05,261
and T-shirt.
1152
00:47:05,261 --> 00:47:08,175
Beats his victims over the
head with a tennis racquet.
1153
00:47:08,175 --> 00:47:10,875
(chuckles)
1154
00:47:10,875 --> 00:47:13,708
(chime glissando)
1155
00:47:16,815 --> 00:47:19,565
(Egyptian music)
1156
00:47:26,106 --> 00:47:27,133
- Oh, hi, honey.
1157
00:47:27,133 --> 00:47:28,383
How much is it?
1158
00:47:30,563 --> 00:47:31,896
- Three dollars.
1159
00:47:32,960 --> 00:47:34,703
- Keep the change.
1160
00:47:34,703 --> 00:47:36,559
See you upstairs.
1161
00:47:36,559 --> 00:47:39,309
(Egyptian music)
1162
00:47:43,521 --> 00:47:45,289
- Hey, take care, I'll see ya.
1163
00:47:45,289 --> 00:47:47,617
- Wait, wait, just a minute.
1164
00:47:47,617 --> 00:47:49,586
Who the hell is she?
1165
00:47:49,586 --> 00:47:50,539
- Oh...
1166
00:47:50,539 --> 00:47:51,372
Cleopatra.
1167
00:47:54,289 --> 00:47:56,289
- That's what I thought.
1168
00:47:57,639 --> 00:48:00,056
(car starts)
1169
00:48:07,327 --> 00:48:08,981
- Cleopatra...
1170
00:48:08,981 --> 00:48:12,086
- Oh, Christ, even the snake is limp.
1171
00:48:12,086 --> 00:48:14,303
What do you say we take a break, huh?
1172
00:48:14,303 --> 00:48:15,371
- Right.
1173
00:48:15,371 --> 00:48:17,440
Take another break, that'd be wonderful.
1174
00:48:17,440 --> 00:48:19,734
- Where the hell are my cigarettes?
1175
00:48:19,734 --> 00:48:20,567
- I dunno.
1176
00:48:21,421 --> 00:48:23,110
- I don't suppose that you'd wanna
1177
00:48:23,110 --> 00:48:25,719
get in the car and go get me a pack, huh?
1178
00:48:25,719 --> 00:48:27,530
- Alright, what...
1179
00:48:27,530 --> 00:48:30,163
What breaks yonder through the
1180
00:48:30,163 --> 00:48:30,996
birdbath
1181
00:48:30,996 --> 00:48:32,714
because Juliet is the sun.
1182
00:48:32,714 --> 00:48:34,891
- Oh, go to sleep.
1183
00:48:34,891 --> 00:48:38,620
Boy, when you're not
screwing, you sure are a bore.
1184
00:48:38,620 --> 00:48:39,453
Look.
1185
00:48:40,364 --> 00:48:41,636
Take a little nap.
1186
00:48:41,636 --> 00:48:43,592
Get all rested up.
1187
00:48:43,592 --> 00:48:45,313
I'll be right back.
1188
00:48:45,313 --> 00:48:48,230
I've got a little surprise for you.
1189
00:48:50,734 --> 00:48:51,567
Shit.
1190
00:48:52,479 --> 00:48:55,896
(uptempo Egyptian music)
1191
00:49:33,595 --> 00:49:35,359
- [Arthur] Fogged in, fogged in.
1192
00:49:35,359 --> 00:49:36,834
Fogged in, my ass!
1193
00:49:36,834 --> 00:49:38,399
All the way out to the airport
1194
00:49:38,399 --> 00:49:39,232
for nothin'!
1195
00:49:39,232 --> 00:49:40,482
Nothin' at all!
1196
00:49:41,472 --> 00:49:44,102
- So this current sex maniac
that they're all looking for,
1197
00:49:44,102 --> 00:49:46,430
he goes around in nothin' but his shorts
1198
00:49:46,430 --> 00:49:47,921
and a tennis racquet.
1199
00:49:47,921 --> 00:49:50,977
He beats his victim to death
with the racquet, you see.
1200
00:49:50,977 --> 00:49:53,410
Hey, are you at a convention?
1201
00:49:53,410 --> 00:49:54,243
- No, why?
1202
00:49:55,302 --> 00:49:57,450
- Just wonderin'.
(chuckles)
1203
00:49:57,450 --> 00:49:59,867
Give my regards to Cleopatra.
1204
00:50:00,775 --> 00:50:01,759
(car starts)
1205
00:50:01,759 --> 00:50:04,259
- Give my best to Marc Antony!
1206
00:50:06,495 --> 00:50:10,662
Christ, they'll let anybody
drive a fuckin' cab today.
1207
00:50:17,980 --> 00:50:19,431
Gobble-gobble-gobble.
1208
00:50:19,431 --> 00:50:22,771
(clucking sounds)
1209
00:50:22,771 --> 00:50:23,821
Daddy's home!
1210
00:50:23,821 --> 00:50:26,328
Gobble-gobble-gobble!
1211
00:50:26,328 --> 00:50:28,245
Goddamn sleeping pills.
1212
00:50:29,975 --> 00:50:31,176
Whew!
1213
00:50:31,176 --> 00:50:33,301
All the way out to the
airport for nothin'.
1214
00:50:33,301 --> 00:50:34,170
You know what they gave me?
1215
00:50:34,170 --> 00:50:35,003
Fogged in.
1216
00:50:35,003 --> 00:50:36,330
Fogged in, my ass!
1217
00:50:36,330 --> 00:50:38,310
That how they were fogged in.
1218
00:50:38,310 --> 00:50:40,288
I should have known it hours ago!
1219
00:50:40,288 --> 00:50:41,121
Ah!
1220
00:50:43,000 --> 00:50:44,667
Then the guy says to me,
1221
00:50:44,667 --> 00:50:45,892
"Do I know you from Houston?"
1222
00:50:45,892 --> 00:50:49,357
Some schmuck, I never saw him in my life.
1223
00:50:49,357 --> 00:50:51,505
It was bad enough to cancel the flight.
1224
00:50:51,505 --> 00:50:53,081
You know, when you're disappointed,
1225
00:50:53,081 --> 00:50:55,533
somehow or other it goes to your groin.
1226
00:50:55,533 --> 00:50:56,916
And that's the way I feel right now.
1227
00:50:56,916 --> 00:50:59,017
You better look alive honey because
1228
00:50:59,017 --> 00:51:00,126
it's runnin' through my veins.
1229
00:51:00,126 --> 00:51:02,384
I dunno, it's like a honeymoon,
you know what I mean?
1230
00:51:02,384 --> 00:51:03,620
I'm gettin' hornier by the minute.
1231
00:51:03,620 --> 00:51:05,060
Look alive, honey!
1232
00:51:05,060 --> 00:51:06,592
I don't feel this way too often,
1233
00:51:06,592 --> 00:51:08,787
so take advantage of it.
1234
00:51:08,787 --> 00:51:10,115
Better wake up!
1235
00:51:10,115 --> 00:51:12,125
I gotta be up at five
o'clock in the morning.
1236
00:51:12,125 --> 00:51:14,292
Gotta make that damn 7:05.
1237
00:51:15,544 --> 00:51:16,616
Better set this alarm
1238
00:51:16,616 --> 00:51:20,116
before we start playing Turkey in the Hay.
1239
00:51:39,770 --> 00:51:43,937
(jaunty fiddle music)
(clucking sounds)
1240
00:51:50,624 --> 00:51:53,124
Gettin' hornier by the minute.
1241
00:51:56,457 --> 00:51:59,957
(distant clucking sounds)
1242
00:52:02,377 --> 00:52:04,710
Gobble-gobble-gobble-gobble!
1243
00:52:08,198 --> 00:52:10,584
Gobble-gobble-gobble-gobble!
1244
00:52:10,584 --> 00:52:11,618
Here I come!
1245
00:52:11,618 --> 00:52:13,529
Feathers and all, ready or not!
1246
00:52:13,529 --> 00:52:15,278
(clucking sounds)
1247
00:52:15,278 --> 00:52:17,028
Gobble-gobble-gobble!
1248
00:52:20,084 --> 00:52:21,761
Leslie, where are you?
1249
00:52:21,761 --> 00:52:24,125
Please, let's make
believe it's Thanksgiving,
1250
00:52:24,125 --> 00:52:26,875
and I'm your own personal turkey!
1251
00:52:30,140 --> 00:52:32,673
(Tommy yells)
1252
00:52:32,673 --> 00:52:33,923
- Wonder Woman!
1253
00:52:35,959 --> 00:52:36,888
Arthur!
1254
00:52:36,888 --> 00:52:38,025
You turkey!
1255
00:52:38,025 --> 00:52:39,295
- Leslie!
1256
00:52:39,295 --> 00:52:40,816
This is better than I dreamed!
1257
00:52:40,816 --> 00:52:41,927
My god!
1258
00:52:41,927 --> 00:52:43,011
Wonder Woman!
1259
00:52:43,011 --> 00:52:43,877
- [Leslie] Arthur!
1260
00:52:43,877 --> 00:52:44,710
- [Arthur] Leslie!
1261
00:52:44,710 --> 00:52:45,543
- [Leslie] Oh, shit!
1262
00:52:45,543 --> 00:52:46,913
(Arthur yelps)
1263
00:52:46,913 --> 00:52:49,496
(fiddle music)
1264
00:52:57,904 --> 00:52:58,821
- Hey! Hey!
1265
00:53:00,343 --> 00:53:01,176
Hello!
1266
00:53:04,272 --> 00:53:06,037
Hey, thanks a lot, thanks
a lot for stopping.
1267
00:53:06,037 --> 00:53:07,725
Listen, could you guys give me a li--
1268
00:53:07,725 --> 00:53:08,682
What are you...
1269
00:53:08,682 --> 00:53:11,682
Hey!
(tires screech)
1270
00:53:15,740 --> 00:53:16,946
- Okay, boy.
1271
00:53:16,946 --> 00:53:19,146
Find us the money.
1272
00:53:19,146 --> 00:53:20,871
- Wait a minute you guys,
I don't have any money.
1273
00:53:20,871 --> 00:53:22,145
I don't have any money.
1274
00:53:22,145 --> 00:53:23,631
All I got is a shirt
and a pair of pants on.
1275
00:53:23,631 --> 00:53:25,912
Really!
(men laugh)
1276
00:53:25,912 --> 00:53:26,745
That's all I got.
1277
00:53:26,745 --> 00:53:28,165
- Don't jive me, man.
1278
00:53:28,165 --> 00:53:30,765
We know all you boys in
Beverly Hills have money.
1279
00:53:30,765 --> 00:53:31,902
- No, I'm not from Beverly...
1280
00:53:31,902 --> 00:53:32,750
I don't live here.
1281
00:53:32,750 --> 00:53:34,230
I was just visiting--
- Shit!
1282
00:53:34,230 --> 00:53:35,779
- Wait a minute, what are
you doing with my pants?
1283
00:53:35,779 --> 00:53:36,612
- Look here, man.
1284
00:53:36,612 --> 00:53:38,367
We're gonna get your
wallet one way or another.
1285
00:53:38,367 --> 00:53:39,200
- No, wait a minute, wait.
1286
00:53:39,200 --> 00:53:40,066
Wait, listen.
1287
00:53:40,066 --> 00:53:42,387
You guys, you don't have to rip me off.
1288
00:53:42,387 --> 00:53:43,970
I'm a soul brother.
1289
00:53:45,119 --> 00:53:47,486
Yeah, see my curly hair?
1290
00:53:47,486 --> 00:53:49,041
I speak your language.
1291
00:53:49,041 --> 00:53:50,071
Alright!
1292
00:53:50,071 --> 00:53:51,231
Far out!
1293
00:53:51,231 --> 00:53:52,231
Outta sight!
1294
00:53:53,235 --> 00:53:54,318
Motherfucker!
1295
00:53:55,259 --> 00:53:56,592
- Mother fucker?
1296
00:53:59,938 --> 00:54:01,021
- [Men] Shit!
1297
00:54:09,027 --> 00:54:11,610
(Tommy grunts)
1298
00:54:18,919 --> 00:54:20,336
- Son of a bitch.
1299
00:54:28,839 --> 00:54:29,672
Wonderful.
1300
00:54:39,211 --> 00:54:40,798
- Hey, what are you doing?
1301
00:54:40,798 --> 00:54:41,685
- Oh, boy.
1302
00:54:41,685 --> 00:54:43,744
Am I glad to see you guys.
1303
00:54:43,744 --> 00:54:45,502
- Could you step around here, please?
1304
00:54:45,502 --> 00:54:46,660
- I'd...
1305
00:54:46,660 --> 00:54:47,910
I'd rather not.
1306
00:54:50,644 --> 00:54:51,762
- We got us one.
1307
00:54:51,762 --> 00:54:53,700
- Marathon runner, I better
get back to the race.
1308
00:54:53,700 --> 00:54:55,059
Thanks!
1309
00:54:55,059 --> 00:54:57,065
- [Cop] Marathon runner?
1310
00:54:57,065 --> 00:54:58,628
In his shorts?
1311
00:54:58,628 --> 00:55:00,045
In Beverly Hills?
1312
00:55:00,045 --> 00:55:01,148
The sex pervert!
1313
00:55:01,148 --> 00:55:02,066
- [Partner] That's him, go!
1314
00:55:02,066 --> 00:55:04,649
(siren blares)
1315
00:55:13,813 --> 00:55:17,480
(constant car horn honking)
1316
00:55:19,560 --> 00:55:23,356
(cheering and honking)
1317
00:55:23,356 --> 00:55:24,704
- Shh!
1318
00:55:24,704 --> 00:55:26,463
- Stick it up your ass!
1319
00:55:26,463 --> 00:55:27,296
What the hell's he want?
1320
00:55:27,296 --> 00:55:29,589
I'm doin' 25 miles an hour.
1321
00:55:29,589 --> 00:55:30,547
(car horn honking)
1322
00:55:30,547 --> 00:55:32,401
I'll show you how to get
outta this goddamn traffic,
1323
00:55:32,401 --> 00:55:33,626
I'll betcha!
1324
00:55:33,626 --> 00:55:35,135
Hang on!
1325
00:55:35,135 --> 00:55:37,263
(tires screech)
(woman screams)
1326
00:55:37,263 --> 00:55:40,254
(Tommy screams)
1327
00:55:40,254 --> 00:55:43,254
(car horns honking)
1328
00:55:48,121 --> 00:55:49,288
- Oh, get her!
1329
00:55:50,605 --> 00:55:51,438
- What's goin' on?
1330
00:55:51,438 --> 00:55:52,271
Where the hell am I?
1331
00:55:52,271 --> 00:55:54,107
- You're over the rainbow, Dorothy,
1332
00:55:54,107 --> 00:55:56,767
and the Emerald City is this way.
1333
00:55:56,767 --> 00:55:58,345
- Be nice!
1334
00:55:58,345 --> 00:55:59,178
- I wonder,
1335
00:55:59,178 --> 00:56:00,616
could you do me a favor?
1336
00:56:00,616 --> 00:56:03,533
- Oh, whatever you say, sweet meat!
1337
00:56:06,421 --> 00:56:07,906
- I would like to borrow your coat
1338
00:56:07,906 --> 00:56:09,751
and a dime for the phone, alright?
1339
00:56:09,751 --> 00:56:10,584
- What?
1340
00:56:10,584 --> 00:56:13,733
- Oh, strike three, sweetie.
1341
00:56:13,733 --> 00:56:14,676
- I gotta have a phone.
1342
00:56:14,676 --> 00:56:15,917
- Take your hands off me!
1343
00:56:15,917 --> 00:56:16,827
Don't touch me!
1344
00:56:16,827 --> 00:56:17,932
- Leave her alone!
1345
00:56:17,932 --> 00:56:20,353
- What are you going to do with my coat?!
1346
00:56:20,353 --> 00:56:23,770
(yelling back and forth)
1347
00:56:25,935 --> 00:56:26,768
- Melissa!
1348
00:56:26,768 --> 00:56:28,531
It's not what you think, honest!
1349
00:56:28,531 --> 00:56:31,948
(yelling back and forth)
1350
00:56:34,413 --> 00:56:36,485
- Give me my coat!
1351
00:56:36,485 --> 00:56:37,420
- Leave me alone, will ya?
1352
00:56:37,420 --> 00:56:39,635
I just wanna borrow it!
- It looked better on her.
1353
00:56:39,635 --> 00:56:41,286
- Jesus, help me, will ya, please!
1354
00:56:41,286 --> 00:56:42,503
- Give the lady back her coat.
1355
00:56:42,503 --> 00:56:43,336
Okay?
1356
00:56:43,336 --> 00:56:44,449
- You got it, you got it.
1357
00:56:44,449 --> 00:56:45,854
- What's it worth to you
to get you outta here?
1358
00:56:45,854 --> 00:56:47,097
- Anything, anything!
1359
00:56:47,097 --> 00:56:48,153
- Well, good.
1360
00:56:48,153 --> 00:56:50,040
But let's go home and get
you a change of clothes.
1361
00:56:50,040 --> 00:56:52,072
I don't want people to
think I go out with trash.
1362
00:56:52,072 --> 00:56:53,239
- Yeah, right.
1363
00:56:54,341 --> 00:56:55,281
- Look at this!
1364
00:56:55,281 --> 00:56:56,204
Look what this is!
1365
00:56:56,204 --> 00:56:57,551
- Oh, you're breakin' my heart!
1366
00:56:57,551 --> 00:56:59,386
(yelling)
1367
00:56:59,386 --> 00:57:00,728
Go, Melissa, go.
1368
00:57:00,728 --> 00:57:02,895
(yelling)
1369
00:57:04,484 --> 00:57:06,028
- Come on, let's go inside.
1370
00:57:06,028 --> 00:57:07,345
- Oh, Louise.
1371
00:57:07,345 --> 00:57:08,739
- Oh, Celeste.
1372
00:57:08,739 --> 00:57:10,516
Oh, Celeste.
1373
00:57:10,516 --> 00:57:12,037
Screw you!
1374
00:57:12,037 --> 00:57:13,632
Oh, baby.
1375
00:57:13,632 --> 00:57:15,129
Oh, darling.
1376
00:57:15,129 --> 00:57:16,849
It's gonna be alright, honey.
1377
00:57:16,849 --> 00:57:19,303
The pills will hit you
just at the right time.
1378
00:57:19,303 --> 00:57:20,720
I know they will.
1379
00:57:24,114 --> 00:57:27,281
(muffled disco music)
1380
00:57:45,456 --> 00:57:48,456
(music intensifies)
1381
00:57:57,946 --> 00:57:59,140
♪ Dance ♪
1382
00:57:59,140 --> 00:58:00,277
♪ Well ♪
1383
00:58:00,277 --> 00:58:03,493
♪ Everybody dance ♪
1384
00:58:03,493 --> 00:58:04,982
♪ Come on ♪
1385
00:58:04,982 --> 00:58:05,815
♪ Dance ♪
1386
00:58:05,815 --> 00:58:06,948
♪ Everybody ♪
1387
00:58:06,948 --> 00:58:10,278
♪ Everybody dance ♪
1388
00:58:10,278 --> 00:58:11,439
♪ Shake your booty ♪
1389
00:58:11,439 --> 00:58:15,061
♪ Now all you pretty people ♪
1390
00:58:15,061 --> 00:58:18,305
♪ Get out on the floor ♪
1391
00:58:18,305 --> 00:58:21,563
♪ Party down to the disco sound ♪
1392
00:58:21,563 --> 00:58:24,948
♪ Shake your body, let it go ♪
1393
00:58:24,948 --> 00:58:28,361
♪ Party down to the disco sound ♪
1394
00:58:28,361 --> 00:58:31,745
♪ Shake your body, let it go ♪
1395
00:58:31,745 --> 00:58:35,189
♪ Feel the beat ♪
1396
00:58:35,189 --> 00:58:38,611
♪ That body heat ♪
1397
00:58:38,611 --> 00:58:41,827
♪ Make you feel ♪
1398
00:58:41,827 --> 00:58:46,827
♪ Sexy ♪
1399
00:58:50,757 --> 00:58:53,969
♪ Now listen to me ♪
1400
00:58:53,969 --> 00:58:55,608
- Well, well, well.
1401
00:58:55,608 --> 00:58:56,589
Look who's here.
1402
00:58:56,589 --> 00:58:58,308
It's your friend.
1403
00:58:58,308 --> 00:59:01,356
- I thought you were home
working on your figures.
1404
00:59:01,356 --> 00:59:03,439
- Melissa, this is Bambi.
1405
00:59:04,374 --> 00:59:06,805
- Didn't Walt Disney
write a movie about you?
1406
00:59:06,805 --> 00:59:08,275
- Cool it.
1407
00:59:08,275 --> 00:59:10,010
- Hi, Arnold Moss.
1408
00:59:10,010 --> 00:59:10,910
Melissa?
- Come on.
1409
00:59:10,910 --> 00:59:12,113
- I'm Bambi's agent.
1410
00:59:12,113 --> 00:59:14,696
- Let's get outta here, Arnold.
1411
00:59:19,819 --> 00:59:20,652
- You know what you need?
1412
00:59:20,652 --> 00:59:21,899
A good spanking.
1413
00:59:21,899 --> 00:59:23,296
- Is that all you ever think about?
1414
00:59:23,296 --> 00:59:24,396
Sex?
1415
00:59:24,396 --> 00:59:25,871
The straps and leather are in the car.
1416
00:59:25,871 --> 00:59:27,040
- Yeah, yeah.
1417
00:59:27,040 --> 00:59:27,884
For your information,
1418
00:59:27,884 --> 00:59:30,404
that girls happens to be my roommate.
1419
00:59:30,404 --> 00:59:32,514
- I think I just took care of that.
1420
00:59:32,514 --> 00:59:36,014
(disco music intensifies)
1421
00:59:40,357 --> 00:59:41,762
♪ Feel the heat ♪
1422
00:59:41,762 --> 00:59:44,101
♪ Well, my body get down ♪
1423
00:59:44,101 --> 00:59:46,748
♪ They can feel it, baby ♪
1424
00:59:46,748 --> 00:59:48,376
♪ Shake your booty ♪
1425
00:59:48,376 --> 00:59:52,292
♪ Shake your groove thing, baby ♪
1426
00:59:52,292 --> 00:59:55,214
♪ We're doing our thing, baby ♪
1427
00:59:55,214 --> 00:59:57,980
♪ Just you and me ♪
1428
00:59:57,980 --> 01:00:00,960
♪ Well well well ♪
1429
01:00:00,960 --> 01:00:02,177
♪ Feel the heat ♪
1430
01:00:02,177 --> 01:00:04,934
♪ Feel the beat ♪
1431
01:00:04,934 --> 01:00:07,098
♪ Come on ♪
1432
01:00:07,098 --> 01:00:10,015
♪ Shake your booty ♪
1433
01:00:31,455 --> 01:00:32,455
- Wonderful.
1434
01:00:49,070 --> 01:00:50,900
- [Cop] Hey, do you see what I see?
1435
01:00:50,900 --> 01:00:51,733
- [Partner] That's not him.
1436
01:00:51,733 --> 01:00:53,455
- [Cop] That's him,
he's dressed different!
1437
01:00:53,455 --> 01:00:55,550
- No, that's not him.
1438
01:00:55,550 --> 01:00:56,641
That is him.
1439
01:00:56,641 --> 01:00:57,813
Hey, I like that shirt.
1440
01:00:57,813 --> 01:00:58,649
- [Cop] I like the jacket.
1441
01:00:58,649 --> 01:00:59,482
- [Partner] Let's get him.
1442
01:00:59,482 --> 01:01:00,315
- Alright.
1443
01:01:06,848 --> 01:01:08,365
Oh, hello again!
1444
01:01:08,365 --> 01:01:10,356
- [Man] I hope this won't
seem out of line but...
1445
01:01:10,356 --> 01:01:13,688
Oh, you are really one great fuck!
1446
01:01:13,688 --> 01:01:15,476
- Whom are you speaking to?
1447
01:01:15,476 --> 01:01:16,873
Him or me?
1448
01:01:16,873 --> 01:01:18,627
- I didn't say anything.
1449
01:01:18,627 --> 01:01:20,114
(car starts)
1450
01:01:20,114 --> 01:01:22,781
(tires screech)
1451
01:01:26,508 --> 01:01:27,487
It's not me!
1452
01:01:27,487 --> 01:01:28,975
I didn't do anything!
1453
01:01:28,975 --> 01:01:33,142
(siren blares)
(tires screech)
1454
01:01:36,063 --> 01:01:37,102
- Baby!
1455
01:01:37,102 --> 01:01:38,352
You're so good!
1456
01:01:39,192 --> 01:01:40,025
- Come on!
1457
01:01:52,927 --> 01:01:54,301
- [Man] Yeah, yeah, yeah!
1458
01:01:54,301 --> 01:01:56,632
- That was fine parking, Mrs. Simmons.
1459
01:01:56,632 --> 01:01:59,299
Now we'll try a right-hand turn.
1460
01:02:08,307 --> 01:02:10,973
- That doesn't come in the test, does it?
1461
01:02:10,973 --> 01:02:13,859
(siren blares)
1462
01:02:13,859 --> 01:02:14,759
- Since six o'clock,
1463
01:02:14,759 --> 01:02:16,582
we wait for our daughter Rosa wedding!
1464
01:02:16,582 --> 01:02:17,447
Where is she?
1465
01:02:17,447 --> 01:02:18,438
It's gonna be a wonderful wedding.
1466
01:02:18,438 --> 01:02:20,424
You good boy, she good girl for you!
1467
01:02:20,424 --> 01:02:21,524
It's a beautiful table!
1468
01:02:21,524 --> 01:02:23,115
Look at the cake!
1469
01:02:23,115 --> 01:02:25,575
(sirens)
1470
01:02:25,575 --> 01:02:28,075
(man panting)
1471
01:02:29,366 --> 01:02:30,199
- Oh!
1472
01:02:32,864 --> 01:02:35,364
(Tommy yells)
1473
01:02:41,977 --> 01:02:44,247
- [Man] I always get excited at weddings.
1474
01:02:44,247 --> 01:02:45,080
Don't you?
1475
01:02:54,201 --> 01:02:57,091
- [Father] Call the police!
1476
01:02:57,091 --> 01:02:58,746
- [Man] What the hell happened?
1477
01:02:58,746 --> 01:02:59,579
- Oh, no!
1478
01:02:59,579 --> 01:03:00,979
Look at all that fighting!
1479
01:03:00,979 --> 01:03:03,146
(yelling)
1480
01:03:05,905 --> 01:03:07,734
Oh my god, it's my mama!
1481
01:03:07,734 --> 01:03:09,211
My papa!
1482
01:03:09,211 --> 01:03:10,349
And my husband!
1483
01:03:10,349 --> 01:03:11,682
- Your husband?!
1484
01:03:12,643 --> 01:03:13,637
- Rosa!
1485
01:03:13,637 --> 01:03:14,600
In the car!
1486
01:03:14,600 --> 01:03:15,683
- Rosa! Rosa!
1487
01:03:17,273 --> 01:03:21,023
- [Father] Rosa, what
are you do in the car?!
1488
01:03:26,776 --> 01:03:30,193
(yelling back and forth)
1489
01:03:33,549 --> 01:03:35,732
- [Man] She's a terrific girl!
1490
01:03:35,732 --> 01:03:39,401
(yelling back and forth)
1491
01:03:39,401 --> 01:03:41,051
- [Rosa] Papa, no!
1492
01:03:41,051 --> 01:03:42,218
- Arrivederci!
1493
01:03:50,739 --> 01:03:53,729
- Well I wasn't sure we were still going.
1494
01:03:53,729 --> 01:03:55,463
- A celebrity tournament in Big Sur?
1495
01:03:55,463 --> 01:03:57,699
What made you think we wouldn't go?
1496
01:03:57,699 --> 01:04:00,537
- Well, I've been trying to reach you for
1497
01:04:00,537 --> 01:04:01,641
two days.
1498
01:04:01,641 --> 01:04:02,731
I've called the club,
1499
01:04:02,731 --> 01:04:04,339
I've called your house.
1500
01:04:04,339 --> 01:04:05,453
Where were you?
1501
01:04:05,453 --> 01:04:06,419
- Don't ask.
1502
01:04:06,419 --> 01:04:10,498
The last 24 hours, 48
hours, you wouldn't believe.
1503
01:04:10,498 --> 01:04:11,700
- Well I hope it has something to do
1504
01:04:11,700 --> 01:04:12,902
with that school of yours.
1505
01:04:12,902 --> 01:04:14,073
- Well, as a matter of fact,
1506
01:04:14,073 --> 01:04:16,310
I spoke to my backer
a couple of hours ago.
1507
01:04:16,310 --> 01:04:19,281
Money should be coming
through any day now.
1508
01:04:19,281 --> 01:04:20,708
Probably by the time we get home.
1509
01:04:20,708 --> 01:04:22,237
- Tommy, that's wonderful.
1510
01:04:22,237 --> 01:04:24,420
- Yeah, but right now, I
don't want to talk about
1511
01:04:24,420 --> 01:04:27,909
schedules or clients or business.
1512
01:04:27,909 --> 01:04:32,074
The next two days, I just
wanna think about us.
1513
01:04:32,074 --> 01:04:33,999
- And Bjorn Borg.
1514
01:04:33,999 --> 01:04:35,082
Ilie Nastase.
1515
01:04:36,182 --> 01:04:38,017
Roscoe Tanner.
1516
01:04:38,017 --> 01:04:40,019
- You forgot Chris Evert.
1517
01:04:40,019 --> 01:04:41,367
- Well I notice you didn't.
1518
01:04:41,367 --> 01:04:42,952
- Alright.
1519
01:04:42,952 --> 01:04:44,316
- Oh, and also,
1520
01:04:44,316 --> 01:04:47,218
not to mention Maria Navratilova-lava...
1521
01:04:47,218 --> 01:04:49,393
- I told you not to mention her.
1522
01:04:49,393 --> 01:04:52,643
(easy listening music)
1523
01:05:53,663 --> 01:05:54,752
- Well, it's been a fabulous
1524
01:05:54,752 --> 01:05:55,967
two days of competition here
1525
01:05:55,967 --> 01:05:57,957
at the Big Sur Charity Tennis Tournament.
1526
01:05:57,957 --> 01:06:00,837
We're down to the finals as
ex-tennis great Tommy Everett
1527
01:06:00,837 --> 01:06:03,299
faces the current world
champion Bjorn Borg.
1528
01:06:03,299 --> 01:06:05,984
It's a real test of the
old against the new.
1529
01:06:05,984 --> 01:06:08,734
(crowd applause)
1530
01:06:25,065 --> 01:06:28,017
Tommy, you've really done a
superb job here at Big Sur.
1531
01:06:28,017 --> 01:06:29,826
That old Everett style is still there.
1532
01:06:29,826 --> 01:06:31,168
- Thank you very much.
1533
01:06:31,168 --> 01:06:32,549
- But now comes the moment of truth.
1534
01:06:32,549 --> 01:06:35,034
You're about to face the
incomparable Bjorn Borg.
1535
01:06:35,034 --> 01:06:36,677
What are your feelings about it?
1536
01:06:36,677 --> 01:06:37,542
- Well,
1537
01:06:37,542 --> 01:06:38,938
Charlie, I've been
playing well, I feel good,
1538
01:06:38,938 --> 01:06:41,707
but I'm on the court with
the best in the world,
1539
01:06:41,707 --> 01:06:42,909
a Wimbledon champ.
1540
01:06:42,909 --> 01:06:44,759
Number-one seeded.
1541
01:06:44,759 --> 01:06:46,139
But I'm gonna give it my best shot.
1542
01:06:46,139 --> 01:06:47,152
I'm gonna try and beat him.
1543
01:06:47,152 --> 01:06:48,136
- Thanks, Tommy, good luck to you.
1544
01:06:48,136 --> 01:06:48,969
- Thanks.
1545
01:06:48,969 --> 01:06:49,923
- What about you, Bjorn?
1546
01:06:49,923 --> 01:06:50,945
What are your feelings?
1547
01:06:50,945 --> 01:06:52,511
- I'm really looking forward to it.
1548
01:06:52,511 --> 01:06:54,066
- Do you foresee any problems?
1549
01:06:54,066 --> 01:06:56,762
- I know that Tommy Everett
is a great player and
1550
01:06:56,762 --> 01:06:58,620
I will try to do my best to beat him.
1551
01:06:58,620 --> 01:06:59,896
- Good luck to the both of you.
1552
01:06:59,896 --> 01:07:02,346
- [Tommy] Thank you, Charlie.
1553
01:07:02,346 --> 01:07:03,609
- There you have it, ladies and gentlemen.
1554
01:07:03,609 --> 01:07:04,876
The ex-champ and the current champ
1555
01:07:04,876 --> 01:07:06,810
getting ready to battle
it out on the court.
1556
01:07:06,810 --> 01:07:07,732
In a just a few moments,
1557
01:07:07,732 --> 01:07:10,118
the finals of the Big Sur
Tournament will begin.
1558
01:07:10,118 --> 01:07:12,308
It's the ex-Wimbledon
champion Tommy Everett
1559
01:07:12,308 --> 01:07:14,281
against the three-time Wimbledon winner,
1560
01:07:14,281 --> 01:07:16,865
and the current top-seeded
tennis player in the world.
1561
01:07:16,865 --> 01:07:19,430
The world champion, Bjorn Borg.
1562
01:07:19,430 --> 01:07:22,680
(exciting disco music)
1563
01:07:36,284 --> 01:07:38,534
(applause)
1564
01:07:55,468 --> 01:07:59,218
(slow, easy-listening music)
1565
01:09:36,096 --> 01:09:39,096
(music intensifies)
1566
01:10:10,152 --> 01:10:12,402
(applause)
1567
01:10:26,459 --> 01:10:28,178
- It's becoming more and more obvious
1568
01:10:28,178 --> 01:10:30,919
that age is losing out to youth.
1569
01:10:30,919 --> 01:10:34,252
But Everett has held up remarkably well.
1570
01:10:42,736 --> 01:10:44,986
(applause)
1571
01:11:02,643 --> 01:11:04,893
(applause)
1572
01:11:18,783 --> 01:11:21,033
(applause)
1573
01:11:22,547 --> 01:11:23,830
- It's match point.
1574
01:11:23,830 --> 01:11:25,497
Can Everett hold on?
1575
01:11:38,784 --> 01:11:40,527
And Bjorn Borg has won it!
1576
01:11:40,527 --> 01:11:41,844
(crowd cheers)
1577
01:11:41,844 --> 01:11:44,107
- Great match, Tommy.
- Congratulations.
1578
01:11:44,107 --> 01:11:46,357
(applause)
1579
01:11:54,567 --> 01:11:56,587
- [Announcer] Tommy Everett
has really played great tennis,
1580
01:11:56,587 --> 01:11:58,000
but he was just unable to keep up
1581
01:11:58,000 --> 01:12:01,417
with the fantastic stamina of Bjorn Borg.
1582
01:12:10,107 --> 01:12:13,524
- [P.A.] Paging Tommy Everett, telephone.
1583
01:12:16,661 --> 01:12:17,494
- Hello.
1584
01:12:18,991 --> 01:12:21,644
Melissa, I wish you'd
stop calling me here.
1585
01:12:21,644 --> 01:12:24,143
- Because of dear old Auntie Leslie?
1586
01:12:24,143 --> 01:12:25,450
- Did you make my hair appointment?
1587
01:12:25,450 --> 01:12:26,729
- No, Mrs. Sargent.
1588
01:12:26,729 --> 01:12:30,896
Miss Melissa's still on
the phone down at the pool.
1589
01:12:34,322 --> 01:12:35,773
- I don't think it's a good idea for us
1590
01:12:35,773 --> 01:12:37,042
to see each other again.
1591
01:12:37,042 --> 01:12:37,921
- [Melissa] Why not?
1592
01:12:37,921 --> 01:12:39,779
- [Tommy] Well, I don't
think she'd approve, do you?
1593
01:12:39,779 --> 01:12:41,300
- Approve.
(laughs)
1594
01:12:41,300 --> 01:12:42,907
If she knew that I balled her lover,
1595
01:12:42,907 --> 01:12:46,467
she would go right into menopause.
1596
01:12:46,467 --> 01:12:47,720
- You do have a way with words.
1597
01:12:47,720 --> 01:12:49,576
(click)
1598
01:12:49,576 --> 01:12:51,051
What was that?
1599
01:12:51,051 --> 01:12:52,265
Melissa?
1600
01:12:52,265 --> 01:12:54,639
- I think that was Auntie Leslie.
1601
01:12:54,639 --> 01:12:56,389
Going into menopause.
1602
01:13:00,207 --> 01:13:01,040
- Melissa.
1603
01:13:02,019 --> 01:13:03,686
I wanna talk to you.
1604
01:13:04,932 --> 01:13:05,867
Melissa!
1605
01:13:05,867 --> 01:13:08,700
Melissa!
(screams)
1606
01:13:10,175 --> 01:13:12,943
Damn it, Melissa, I can't swim!
1607
01:13:12,943 --> 01:13:14,539
- Nonsense, Leslie.
1608
01:13:14,539 --> 01:13:18,706
Why you can swim almost as
good as you play tennis.
1609
01:13:20,333 --> 01:13:22,212
- How could you do this to me?
1610
01:13:22,212 --> 01:13:24,136
How could you?
1611
01:13:24,136 --> 01:13:26,969
I always thought that you and I...
1612
01:13:28,738 --> 01:13:30,988
I always thought that we...
1613
01:13:33,159 --> 01:13:35,104
- You got it all wrong, baby.
1614
01:13:35,104 --> 01:13:38,174
- Oh, you really blew it, baby.
1615
01:13:38,174 --> 01:13:40,131
Arthur had the check all made out
1616
01:13:40,131 --> 01:13:43,428
for your precious little tennis school.
1617
01:13:43,428 --> 01:13:46,410
And I was gonna give it to you tonight.
1618
01:13:46,410 --> 01:13:48,243
Well you'll never see it now!
1619
01:13:48,243 --> 01:13:49,076
Never!
1620
01:13:49,076 --> 01:13:49,941
- Leslie, please.
1621
01:13:49,941 --> 01:13:51,404
Please let me explain
it, won't you let me--
1622
01:13:51,404 --> 01:13:52,529
- Don't touch me!
1623
01:13:52,529 --> 01:13:54,701
Don't you ever touch me or Melissa again
1624
01:13:54,701 --> 01:13:58,525
or I will see that you are destroyed!
1625
01:13:58,525 --> 01:14:00,315
- Leslie, won't you
let me explain, please?
1626
01:14:00,315 --> 01:14:02,631
Please let me explain it, Leslie.
1627
01:14:02,631 --> 01:14:05,048
- Move out of the way, tubbo!
1628
01:14:08,807 --> 01:14:10,390
- Am I late, Tommy?
1629
01:14:12,093 --> 01:14:13,927
- No, no, no.
1630
01:14:13,927 --> 01:14:16,692
No, Mrs. Kaufman, you're fine.
1631
01:14:16,692 --> 01:14:17,800
Right on time.
1632
01:14:17,800 --> 01:14:22,197
- Good, I can't stand people
who keep other people waiting.
1633
01:14:22,197 --> 01:14:23,852
How's your business deal going?
1634
01:14:23,852 --> 01:14:26,386
Has the money come through yet?
1635
01:14:26,386 --> 01:14:28,217
- No, Mrs. Kaufman.
1636
01:14:28,217 --> 01:14:30,162
I'd kinda like to
1637
01:14:30,162 --> 01:14:32,458
talk to you about that.
1638
01:14:32,458 --> 01:14:33,886
- If you wanted money for a tennis school,
1639
01:14:33,886 --> 01:14:35,427
why didn't you come to me?
1640
01:14:35,427 --> 01:14:36,663
- Because I love you.
1641
01:14:36,663 --> 01:14:40,492
And because you're too important
to me to come for money.
1642
01:14:40,492 --> 01:14:43,797
- That is the most screwed up
set of reasons I ever heard.
1643
01:14:43,797 --> 01:14:45,249
- What's screwed up about it?
1644
01:14:45,249 --> 01:14:46,431
I wanna do this on my own.
1645
01:14:46,431 --> 01:14:48,244
I want to make it for myself, Monica.
1646
01:14:48,244 --> 01:14:50,402
I don't wanna be some faded jock
1647
01:14:50,402 --> 01:14:53,485
that they put out to pasture someday.
1648
01:14:54,798 --> 01:14:58,037
- That woman is gonna take
you to Las Vegas and use you
1649
01:14:58,037 --> 01:15:01,518
just the way every other woman
in your life has used you.
1650
01:15:01,518 --> 01:15:02,853
- Listen.
1651
01:15:02,853 --> 01:15:04,214
Maybe so.
1652
01:15:04,214 --> 01:15:06,646
I gotta go, I gotta take a chance.
1653
01:15:06,646 --> 01:15:08,646
What have I got to lose?
1654
01:15:10,367 --> 01:15:12,026
- Me.
1655
01:15:12,026 --> 01:15:12,859
Tommy!
1656
01:15:16,938 --> 01:15:18,221
Tommy.
1657
01:15:18,221 --> 01:15:20,721
If you could say no just once,
1658
01:15:22,114 --> 01:15:25,697
I'd say yes to you for
the rest of my life.
1659
01:15:29,907 --> 01:15:32,907
(jazzy disco music)
1660
01:15:58,566 --> 01:16:01,233
- I just love Las Vegas!
1661
01:16:01,233 --> 01:16:02,707
The casinos.
1662
01:16:02,707 --> 01:16:04,281
And the smell of money.
1663
01:16:04,281 --> 01:16:05,253
(sighs)
1664
01:16:05,253 --> 01:16:07,172
- Yes, it's very nice, Mrs. Kaufman,
1665
01:16:07,172 --> 01:16:09,020
but it's almost nine o'clock.
1666
01:16:09,020 --> 01:16:10,361
Don't you think your business manager
1667
01:16:10,361 --> 01:16:11,677
should be here by now?
1668
01:16:11,677 --> 01:16:13,026
- Oh, he'll be here any minute.
1669
01:16:13,026 --> 01:16:14,097
Come on, let's have a drink
1670
01:16:14,097 --> 01:16:16,847
while we're waiting for him, huh?
1671
01:16:28,013 --> 01:16:29,677
- Care to have your picture taken?
1672
01:16:29,677 --> 01:16:31,844
- Oh, we'd love a picture.
1673
01:16:34,178 --> 01:16:35,583
- One more to make sure.
1674
01:16:35,583 --> 01:16:38,509
- Shouldn't your business
manager be in this picture?
1675
01:16:38,509 --> 01:16:41,411
- Please, forget about business.
1676
01:16:41,411 --> 01:16:43,490
We're having fun.
1677
01:16:43,490 --> 01:16:46,823
- If I wanted fun, I'd go to Disneyland.
1678
01:16:48,568 --> 01:16:50,242
- C'est la vie!
1679
01:16:50,242 --> 01:16:52,639
(Mrs. Kaufman laughs)
1680
01:16:52,639 --> 01:16:54,520
If my husband Hermie were still alive,
1681
01:16:54,520 --> 01:16:57,063
he'd kill me for losing so much money!
1682
01:16:57,063 --> 01:16:59,270
Pour the champagne!
1683
01:16:59,270 --> 01:17:01,203
- Yeah, I tell ya,
1684
01:17:01,203 --> 01:17:03,792
fifty thousand dollars!
1685
01:17:03,792 --> 01:17:04,771
Seems like a lot of money
1686
01:17:04,771 --> 01:17:06,920
for a few hours of fun, Mrs. Kaufman.
1687
01:17:06,920 --> 01:17:08,719
- [Mrs. Kaufman] Yeah, but
you only go around once,
1688
01:17:08,719 --> 01:17:10,182
I always say.
1689
01:17:10,182 --> 01:17:12,063
I love Las Vegas!
1690
01:17:12,063 --> 01:17:13,670
This is the life, Tommy.
1691
01:17:13,670 --> 01:17:15,524
- Yeah, this is the life.
1692
01:17:15,524 --> 01:17:17,370
This is great.
1693
01:17:17,370 --> 01:17:19,140
Really great!
1694
01:17:19,140 --> 01:17:20,223
Mrs. Kaufman,
1695
01:17:21,520 --> 01:17:22,708
it's
1696
01:17:22,708 --> 01:17:23,958
after midnight.
1697
01:17:26,135 --> 01:17:27,923
Don't you think that
business manager of yours
1698
01:17:27,923 --> 01:17:29,264
should be here by now?
1699
01:17:29,264 --> 01:17:31,108
- [Mrs. Kaufman] Oh, he'll be here soon.
1700
01:17:31,108 --> 01:17:32,670
Do you like the suite, Tommy?
1701
01:17:32,670 --> 01:17:34,262
Is the food good?
1702
01:17:34,262 --> 01:17:36,634
There's something about the fresh air!
1703
01:17:36,634 --> 01:17:38,276
Are you having fun, Tommy?
1704
01:17:38,276 --> 01:17:39,609
- Yes, yes, yes!
1705
01:17:40,804 --> 01:17:42,534
Having a wonderful time!
1706
01:17:42,534 --> 01:17:45,980
Everything is great, just great.
1707
01:17:45,980 --> 01:17:47,980
(sighs)
1708
01:17:52,774 --> 01:17:55,774
(drum roll, cymbal)
1709
01:17:57,533 --> 01:17:58,366
- Tommy.
1710
01:18:03,890 --> 01:18:04,890
- Oh my god.
1711
01:18:08,028 --> 01:18:08,861
- Thomas.
1712
01:18:11,019 --> 01:18:12,540
- Jesus.
1713
01:18:12,540 --> 01:18:13,378
- Tomaso!
1714
01:18:13,378 --> 01:18:15,461
(laughs)
1715
01:18:16,961 --> 01:18:17,794
- My god.
1716
01:18:19,108 --> 01:18:21,674
- Don't fight it, Tommy!
1717
01:18:21,674 --> 01:18:24,341
It's bigger than the both of us!
1718
01:18:25,592 --> 01:18:27,592
- Bigger than any of us!
1719
01:18:32,779 --> 01:18:35,953
Oh, no!
- Tommy, you're so impetuous!
1720
01:18:35,953 --> 01:18:36,912
(Tommy yelps)
1721
01:18:36,912 --> 01:18:39,146
You shouldn't do this to
me, you really shouldn't--
1722
01:18:39,146 --> 01:18:40,215
- Mrs. Kaufman.
1723
01:18:40,215 --> 01:18:42,826
- You're so gallant and strong!
1724
01:18:42,826 --> 01:18:45,277
And I'm so weak and helpless!
1725
01:18:45,277 --> 01:18:48,002
And rich!
(laughs)
1726
01:18:48,002 --> 01:18:50,335
(both yell)
1727
01:18:51,171 --> 01:18:52,754
- But Jesus Christ!
1728
01:18:54,108 --> 01:18:55,345
- What's the matter?
1729
01:18:55,345 --> 01:18:56,535
- Mrs. Kaufman, I just...
1730
01:18:56,535 --> 01:18:57,573
- Just what?
1731
01:18:57,573 --> 01:18:59,522
You said you were having a good time.
1732
01:18:59,522 --> 01:19:01,409
- I-I-I don't think you understand.
1733
01:19:01,409 --> 01:19:03,524
- Oh, I understand everything.
1734
01:19:03,524 --> 01:19:05,107
- No, no, you don't
understand, Mrs. Kaufman.
1735
01:19:05,107 --> 01:19:08,173
I came up here to negotiate
with your business manager,
1736
01:19:08,173 --> 01:19:09,299
nothing else!
1737
01:19:09,299 --> 01:19:12,113
- Well you're looking
at my business manager!
1738
01:19:12,113 --> 01:19:14,030
Start negotiating, huh?
1739
01:19:17,761 --> 01:19:19,173
Well?
1740
01:19:19,173 --> 01:19:22,090
Do you want the money or don't you?
1741
01:19:32,901 --> 01:19:34,374
- No.
1742
01:19:34,374 --> 01:19:35,957
- What did you say?
1743
01:19:37,500 --> 01:19:38,333
- No.
1744
01:19:39,762 --> 01:19:41,697
No, I don't want the money.
1745
01:19:41,697 --> 01:19:42,530
I don't want it!
1746
01:19:42,530 --> 01:19:43,750
Not if I was starving!
1747
01:19:43,750 --> 01:19:45,083
I don't want it!
1748
01:19:46,196 --> 01:19:47,029
- Get out!
1749
01:19:52,936 --> 01:19:55,436
(phone rings)
1750
01:20:00,246 --> 01:20:01,135
- Hello?
1751
01:20:01,135 --> 01:20:02,835
- [Operator] Hello, this is
a long-distance operator.
1752
01:20:02,835 --> 01:20:05,242
I have a person-to-person
call for Monica Gordon
1753
01:20:05,242 --> 01:20:07,189
from Mr. Tommy Everett.
1754
01:20:07,189 --> 01:20:08,808
- She's not here.
1755
01:20:08,808 --> 01:20:10,565
- [Operator] Would you like
to leave a message, sir?
1756
01:20:10,565 --> 01:20:12,227
- [Tommy] Yes, I would.
1757
01:20:12,227 --> 01:20:14,997
Tell her Mr. Everett called from Las Vegas
1758
01:20:14,997 --> 01:20:17,664
and regarding the business deal,
1759
01:20:18,580 --> 01:20:21,197
he'll work it out some other way.
1760
01:20:21,197 --> 01:20:23,054
Because he just said
1761
01:20:23,054 --> 01:20:23,887
no.
1762
01:20:24,729 --> 01:20:27,896
(intense disco music)
1763
01:21:10,276 --> 01:21:12,943
(engine stalls)
1764
01:21:37,068 --> 01:21:38,985
- Hey, you want a ride?
1765
01:21:40,099 --> 01:21:42,183
- No, thanks, it's okay.
1766
01:21:42,183 --> 01:21:44,149
- Get a load of my friend here.
1767
01:21:44,149 --> 01:21:46,061
Tall, dark and boring.
1768
01:21:46,061 --> 01:21:47,637
Come on, let's get outta here.
1769
01:21:47,637 --> 01:21:50,955
- [Driver] Oh, he wasn't so hot anyway.
1770
01:21:50,955 --> 01:21:53,788
(uplifting music)
1771
01:22:54,812 --> 01:22:56,412
♪ You and I ♪
1772
01:22:56,412 --> 01:22:57,906
♪ We've been alive ♪
1773
01:22:57,906 --> 01:23:01,621
♪ Through a hundred ages
or a thousand stages ♪
1774
01:23:01,621 --> 01:23:03,305
♪ You and I ♪
1775
01:23:03,305 --> 01:23:04,725
♪ Have survived ♪
1776
01:23:04,725 --> 01:23:08,462
♪ In so many places with so many faces ♪
1777
01:23:08,462 --> 01:23:10,311
♪ Romeo ♪
1778
01:23:10,311 --> 01:23:11,566
♪ Juliet ♪
1779
01:23:11,566 --> 01:23:14,898
♪ Are the greatest loves
the world can't forget ♪
1780
01:23:14,898 --> 01:23:16,924
♪ Again, you and I ♪
1781
01:23:16,924 --> 01:23:18,607
♪ Will never die ♪
1782
01:23:18,607 --> 01:23:22,175
♪ We're kept alive in
the hearts of lovers ♪
1783
01:23:22,175 --> 01:23:23,930
♪ You and I ♪
1784
01:23:23,930 --> 01:23:25,237
♪ Still alive ♪
1785
01:23:25,237 --> 01:23:28,914
♪ Through a hundred ages
or a thousand stages ♪
1786
01:23:28,914 --> 01:23:30,657
♪ You and I ♪
1787
01:23:30,657 --> 01:23:32,990
♪ You and I ♪
1788
01:23:35,326 --> 01:23:39,493
("Tennis Is the Name of the Game" plays)118669
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