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1
00:00:02,870 --> 00:00:04,203
"LAST MAN STANDING" IS RECORDED
2
00:00:04,205 --> 00:00:05,604
IN FRONTOF A LIVE STUDIO AUDIENCE.
3
00:00:05,606 --> 00:00:06,538
HI, GUYS.
4
00:00:06,540 --> 00:00:07,840
HEY.
HI, HONEY.
5
00:00:07,842 --> 00:00:09,441
WHERE DO WE WANT
RYAN'S DAD TO SIT?
6
00:00:09,443 --> 00:00:10,976
AS FAR AWAY FROM ME
AS POSSIBLE.
7
00:00:10,978 --> 00:00:12,544
OHH. HI.
8
00:00:12,546 --> 00:00:13,979
LISTEN,
TRY TO KEEP AN OPEN MIND.
9
00:00:13,981 --> 00:00:16,682
RYAN'S DAD,
CANADIAN COLLEGE PROFESSOR?
10
00:00:16,684 --> 00:00:20,519
THE JAWS OF LIFE
COULDN'T PRY THIS NUGGET OPEN.
11
00:00:20,521 --> 00:00:21,954
WHERE'S RYAN'S MOM
GONNA SIT?
12
00:00:21,956 --> 00:00:23,956
IN WINNIPEG.
THEY'RE DIVORCED.
13
00:00:23,958 --> 00:00:27,693
OKEYDOKE. GOT A COUPLE MORE
RSVPs FOR KRISTIN'S WEDDING.
14
00:00:27,695 --> 00:00:29,995
WELL, IT'S ABOUT TIME.
WE NEED TO GET A HEAD COUNT.
15
00:00:29,997 --> 00:00:31,497
YEAH, WELL, SO FAR,
16
00:00:31,499 --> 00:00:34,066
ALL 45 OF RYAN'S SIDE
HAVE RESPONDED "YES."
17
00:00:34,068 --> 00:00:36,735
OUR SIDE...ONLY HAS 16,
18
00:00:36,737 --> 00:00:38,470
SO YOU DO THE MATH.
19
00:00:38,472 --> 00:00:40,739
SERIOUSLY,
PLEASE DON'T MAKE ME DO MATH.
20
00:00:40,741 --> 00:00:42,041
THIS IS TERRIBLE.
21
00:00:42,043 --> 00:00:43,742
WE'RE GETTING BEATEN
BY THE CANADIANS.
22
00:00:43,744 --> 00:00:46,545
THERE'S SOMETHING YOU NEVER HEAR
OUTSIDE OF HOCKEY.
23
00:00:46,547 --> 00:00:49,148
OH, AND HERE ARE TWO MORE
FROM OUR SIDE.
24
00:00:49,150 --> 00:00:50,682
YES!
YES, YES, YES, YES, YES.
25
00:00:50,684 --> 00:00:51,850
AND THEY BOTH SAY "NO."
26
00:00:51,852 --> 00:00:53,519
[ GROANS ]
27
00:00:53,521 --> 00:00:55,154
ALTHOUGH ONE OF THEM
WOULD STILL LIKE THE CHICKEN,
28
00:00:55,156 --> 00:00:56,555
IF THAT'S POSSIBLE.
29
00:00:56,557 --> 00:00:58,590
I DON'T BELIEVE
OUR FRIENDS AND RELATIVES.
30
00:00:58,592 --> 00:01:00,726
WE CAN'T GET THESE LOSERS
TO DRIVE 30 MILES,
31
00:01:00,728 --> 00:01:02,194
BUT THE VOGELSONS,
32
00:01:02,196 --> 00:01:04,229
THEY'RE COMING
FROM EVERY PART OF CANADA --
33
00:01:04,231 --> 00:01:06,432
EVEN THE PARTS
WHERE THEY TRAVEL BY DOG.
34
00:01:06,434 --> 00:01:08,233
MAYBE YOU SHOULD
SAVE SOME OF THIS
35
00:01:08,235 --> 00:01:09,401
FOR YOUR WEDDING TOAST.
36
00:01:09,403 --> 00:01:11,270
[ DOORBELL RINGS ]
37
00:01:11,272 --> 00:01:13,572
UGH. I'LL GET IT.
38
00:01:13,574 --> 00:01:15,174
HONEY?
39
00:01:15,176 --> 00:01:18,210
THIS IS RYAN'S DAD, SO BE NICE
AND TREAT HIM LIKE FAMILY.
40
00:01:18,212 --> 00:01:19,678
I CAN'T DO BOTH OF THOSE.
41
00:01:21,449 --> 00:01:25,050
ARE YOU SURE THEY DON'T NEED YOU
AT THE STORE TONIGHT?
42
00:01:25,052 --> 00:01:26,985
HELLO, BAXTERS!
AAH!
43
00:01:28,556 --> 00:01:30,022
WHAT THE HELL
ARE YOU DOING?
44
00:01:30,024 --> 00:01:31,256
I LIKE
TO PHOTOGRAPH PEOPLE
45
00:01:31,258 --> 00:01:32,758
WHEN THEY FIRST MEET
VICTOR VOGELSON.
46
00:01:32,760 --> 00:01:34,460
SOMETIMES,
I WISH I WEREN'T ME
47
00:01:34,462 --> 00:01:36,695
SO I COULD HAVE
THE PLEASURE OF MEETING ME.
48
00:01:36,697 --> 00:01:38,597
WELL, WELL, WELL.
49
00:01:38,599 --> 00:01:40,532
I THINK MAYBE THEY DO NEED ME
AT WORK. I'M SORRY.
50
00:01:40,534 --> 00:01:42,267
NO, NO, NO. UH, HE'S KIDDING,
HE'S KIDDING.
51
00:01:42,269 --> 00:01:44,303
UM, SO, UH, IT'S NICE
TO FINALLY MEET YOU, VICTOR.
52
00:01:44,305 --> 00:01:46,038
OH, IT'S NICE TO MEET YOU,
AS WELL.
YEAH.
53
00:01:46,040 --> 00:01:48,874
MIKE, WHY DO YOU WANT
TO BE THE OUTDOOR MAN?
54
00:01:48,876 --> 00:01:50,609
IF VANESSA WERE MY WIFE,
55
00:01:50,611 --> 00:01:52,945
I'D WANT TO BE THE INDOOR MAN,
DOING INDOOR THINGS.
56
00:01:52,947 --> 00:01:54,313
[ LAUGHS ]
57
00:01:54,315 --> 00:01:55,781
OKAY, OKAY.
58
00:01:55,783 --> 00:01:57,883
THOSE ARE -- THOSE ARE
SOME FUN WORDS TO SAY.
59
00:01:57,885 --> 00:01:59,551
UM...
60
00:01:59,553 --> 00:02:01,220
WELCOME TO,
UH, TO DENVER.
61
00:02:01,222 --> 00:02:03,455
THANK YOU.
IT'S A BEAUTIFUL CITY.
62
00:02:03,457 --> 00:02:05,891
MOUNTAINS,
CLEAN, FRESH AIR.
63
00:02:05,893 --> 00:02:09,428
IT'S LIKE DENVER'S TRYING
REALLY HARD TO BE CANADA.
64
00:02:09,430 --> 00:02:11,263
"TRYING HARD"
AND "CANADA" --
65
00:02:11,265 --> 00:02:13,899
TWO THINGS YOU NEVER HEAR
IN THE SAME SENTENCE.
66
00:02:13,901 --> 00:02:15,334
FOR YOU --
WINNIPEG'S FINEST.
67
00:02:15,336 --> 00:02:19,071
LOOK AT THAT --
A SIX-PACK WITH THREE IN IT.
68
00:02:19,073 --> 00:02:21,240
MUST BE METRIC.
69
00:02:21,242 --> 00:02:23,976
ACTUALLY, I HAD TIME TO KILL
ON MY LAYOVER.
70
00:02:23,978 --> 00:02:26,178
YOU HAD
A DIRECT FLIGHT.
71
00:02:26,180 --> 00:02:28,480
I KNOW, BUT "ON MY LAYOVER"
SOUNDS BETTER
72
00:02:28,482 --> 00:02:30,082
THAN "IN THE MEN'S ROOM."
73
00:02:31,585 --> 00:02:33,118
SPEAKING OF WHICH,
WHERE'S YOURS?
74
00:02:33,120 --> 00:02:35,087
I HAVE SOMETHING ELSE
I BROUGHT FROM CANADA.
75
00:02:36,624 --> 00:02:39,091
UH, IT'S JUST --
IT'S RIGHT, UH...
76
00:02:41,295 --> 00:02:43,929
SO,
THAT'S MY DAD.
77
00:02:43,931 --> 00:02:45,931
WELL, YOU KNOW WHAT?
I THINK HE'S FUN.
78
00:02:45,933 --> 00:02:49,134
I THINK WE BUILT THE WALL
ON THE WRONG BORDER.
79
00:02:49,136 --> 00:02:51,970
I AM REALLY GLAD
THAT YOU'RE DOING THIS, RYAN.
80
00:02:51,972 --> 00:02:53,805
IT'S GOOD THAT YOU GUYS
SPEND SOME TIME TOGETHER.
81
00:02:53,807 --> 00:02:55,541
YEAH, WELL, HE NEVER HAD TIME
FOR ME MY WHOLE LIFE,
82
00:02:55,543 --> 00:02:57,109
SO I GAVE UP ON HIM.
83
00:02:57,111 --> 00:02:59,778
BUT YOU SAID YOU WANTED
TO PUT THAT ALL BEHIND YOU.
84
00:02:59,780 --> 00:03:02,614
I DO. I WANT TO MAKE PEACE WITH
MY DAD BEFORE IT'S TOO LATE.
85
00:03:02,616 --> 00:03:04,550
[ Chuckling ] MAKE IT SOUND LIKE
THE GUY'S DYING.
86
00:03:04,552 --> 00:03:05,884
UH, ACTUALLY, HE IS.
87
00:03:05,886 --> 00:03:06,985
WHAT?
88
00:03:06,987 --> 00:03:08,720
HE'S TERMINALLY ILL.
89
00:03:10,624 --> 00:03:12,057
WELL.
90
00:03:12,059 --> 00:03:14,126
KIND OF WISH
I'D GONE TO WORK.
91
00:03:15,362 --> 00:03:18,463
-- Captions by VITAC --
92
00:03:22,236 --> 00:03:24,503
MY BODY'S
RIDDLED WITH DISEASE.
93
00:03:24,505 --> 00:03:28,207
THEY'VE GIVEN ME TWO MONTHS,
BUT I COULD GO AT ANY TIME.
94
00:03:28,209 --> 00:03:31,376
WHICH MEANS YOU'D BETTER HURRY
UP AND PASS THOSE GREEN BEANS.
95
00:03:31,378 --> 00:03:33,378
ACTUALLY, I THOUGHT
I'D GO STRAIGHT FOR THE PIE.
96
00:03:33,380 --> 00:03:36,081
ONE OF THE MANY JOYS OF DYING
IS EATING WHATEVER YOU WANT.
97
00:03:36,083 --> 00:03:38,717
OH, WELL, I HOPE YOU LIKE IT.
IT'S A NEW RECIPE.
98
00:03:38,719 --> 00:03:42,087
ME TOO, 'CAUSE IT COULD BE
THE LAST PIE I EVER HAVE.
99
00:03:42,089 --> 00:03:43,989
GOOD TIME
FOR YOU TO EXPERIMENT.
100
00:03:45,259 --> 00:03:46,858
I REALLY LIKE
YOUR ATTITUDE, MR. V.
101
00:03:46,860 --> 00:03:48,760
I HOPE I'M THIS CHIPPER
WHEN I'M ABOUT TO CROAK.
102
00:03:48,762 --> 00:03:50,162
EVE! COME ON.
WHAT?
103
00:03:50,164 --> 00:03:51,563
ALL OF YOU
CAN TALK ABOUT DEATH,
104
00:03:51,565 --> 00:03:53,198
BUT WHEN THE CUTE,
LITTLE TEENAGER DOES,
105
00:03:53,200 --> 00:03:55,100
SUDDENLY
IT'S INSENSITIVE?
106
00:03:55,102 --> 00:03:57,002
SO, YOU'RE AN ENGLISH PROFESSOR.
THAT'S AMAZING.
107
00:03:57,004 --> 00:03:58,403
YOU KNOW WHAT?
IT'S FUNNY.
108
00:03:58,405 --> 00:03:59,905
I ACTUALLY HAVE
THIS ENGLISH PAPER THAT'S DUE,
109
00:03:59,907 --> 00:04:01,106
AND I WAS
JUST THINKING --
110
00:04:01,108 --> 00:04:02,407
SERIOUSLY. MANDY?
111
00:04:02,409 --> 00:04:04,176
I AM GIVING HIM
A CHANCE
112
00:04:04,178 --> 00:04:07,179
TO MAKE ONE FINAL STATEMENT
IN HIS FIELD.
113
00:04:07,181 --> 00:04:09,615
UM, YOU CAN HALF-ASS IT.
I'M FINE WITH A "C."
114
00:04:09,617 --> 00:04:11,283
THANKS.
115
00:04:11,285 --> 00:04:13,685
DAD, ONE OF THE REASONS WHY
I WANTED YOU TO COME TO DENVER
116
00:04:13,687 --> 00:04:15,754
WAS TO GET A SECOND OPINION
FROM A DOCTOR HERE.
117
00:04:15,756 --> 00:04:18,724
RIGHT, THE MEDICAL SYSTEM HERE
WORKS ON A PROFIT,
118
00:04:18,726 --> 00:04:21,627
SO THE DOCTORS HAVE A REASON
TO KEEP YOU GOING.
119
00:04:21,629 --> 00:04:23,462
OH, THANK YOU,
BUT I-I'VE MADE PEACE
120
00:04:23,464 --> 00:04:25,597
WITH THE DEATH SENTENCE
I'VE BEEN GIVEN.
121
00:04:25,599 --> 00:04:27,199
OHHH!
DO YOU HEAR THIS MAN?
122
00:04:27,201 --> 00:04:28,934
I JUST --
IT'S SO BEAUTIFUL.
123
00:04:28,936 --> 00:04:30,435
HE'S COMPLETELY RESIGNED.
124
00:04:30,437 --> 00:04:32,437
HE DIDN'T RESIGN.
GOD FIRED HIM.
125
00:04:35,209 --> 00:04:36,808
YOU KNOW WHAT?
126
00:04:36,810 --> 00:04:38,777
THAT PIE RECIPE SAID
"SERVE WITH WHIPPED CREAM,"
127
00:04:38,779 --> 00:04:41,480
AND, DAMN IT,
I AM WHIPPING YOU SOME CREAM.
128
00:04:41,482 --> 00:04:43,582
LISTEN, VICTOR,
129
00:04:43,584 --> 00:04:44,950
ONE OF MY GOOD FRIENDS
IS AN ONCOLOGIST.
130
00:04:44,952 --> 00:04:46,485
I CAN GET YOU IN
TO SEE HIM.
131
00:04:46,487 --> 00:04:49,054
YEAH, GET A THOROUGH CHECKUP.
WHAT COULD IT HURT?
132
00:04:49,056 --> 00:04:52,157
WELL, YOU'VE OBVIOUSLY
NEVER HAD A PROSTATE EXAM.
133
00:04:52,159 --> 00:04:54,159
DR. CHEGLEY --
HE'S GREAT.
134
00:04:54,161 --> 00:04:56,628
HIS FINGERS
ARE SLENDER AS PENCILS.
135
00:04:56,630 --> 00:04:58,597
I THINK I'D RATHER
SPEND THE TIME I HAVE LEFT
136
00:04:58,599 --> 00:05:01,133
GETTING TO KNOW MY SON BETTER,
NOT HANGING OUT WITH DOCTORS.
137
00:05:01,135 --> 00:05:02,968
I'M SURE YOU GET THAT,
MIKE, RIGHT?
138
00:05:02,970 --> 00:05:05,070
HOW WOULD YOU WANT
TO SPEND YOUR FINAL DAYS?
139
00:05:05,072 --> 00:05:07,906
UH, W--
YOU KNOW, CERTAINLY...
140
00:05:07,908 --> 00:05:10,575
WITH MY CLOSEST BUDDIES,
HUNTIN'.
141
00:05:10,577 --> 00:05:12,444
WELL, THAT'S, UH,
FINE WITH ME.
142
00:05:12,446 --> 00:05:15,013
I MEAN, LET THEM BURY YOU.
I'LL BE IN PARIS.
143
00:05:16,250 --> 00:05:17,983
HUNTING --
THAT'S PERFECT.
144
00:05:17,985 --> 00:05:19,818
IT'S SO PRIMITIVE
AND PRIMAL.
145
00:05:19,820 --> 00:05:23,388
RECONNECTING WITH MOTHER EARTH
BEFORE BEING LOWERED INTO HER.
146
00:05:24,758 --> 00:05:26,258
WELL, MY BUSINESS PARTNER
AND I
147
00:05:26,260 --> 00:05:28,026
ARE GOING UP TO HIS CABIN
TO HUNT THIS WEEKEND.
148
00:05:28,028 --> 00:05:28,994
WHY DON'T YOU JOIN?
149
00:05:28,996 --> 00:05:30,262
FANTASTIC.
150
00:05:30,264 --> 00:05:32,030
SURROUNDED
BY THE GLORY OF NATURE,
151
00:05:32,032 --> 00:05:33,532
WE'LL HUNT AND BOND.
152
00:05:33,534 --> 00:05:35,133
SON, WHAT DO YOU SAY?
COME WITH US.
153
00:05:35,135 --> 00:05:38,036
NO -- HIM?
ME?
154
00:05:38,038 --> 00:05:39,538
[ SCOFFS ]
NO, I DON'T HUNT.
155
00:05:39,540 --> 00:05:41,039
WOW. YOU DON'T KNOW ME
AT ALL.
156
00:05:41,041 --> 00:05:43,508
THAT'S KIND OF THE POINT.
THAT'S WHY I'M HERE.
157
00:05:43,510 --> 00:05:45,711
REMEMBER, I AM DYING.
158
00:05:45,713 --> 00:05:48,714
BOY, YOU REALLY PLAY
THAT DEATH CARD, DON'T YOU?
159
00:05:48,716 --> 00:05:50,315
WORKS GREAT IN THE CLUBS.
160
00:05:50,317 --> 00:05:52,617
I HAVEN'T GONE HOME ALONE
IN WEEKS.
161
00:05:52,619 --> 00:05:54,386
THAT'S A REALLY GOOD
PICKUP LINE --
162
00:05:54,388 --> 00:05:56,154
"HONEY,
YOU WANT TO BE MY LAST?"
163
00:05:56,156 --> 00:05:57,789
THAT WORKS.
164
00:05:57,791 --> 00:06:00,292
I MEAN, I DON'T WANT TO
GO INTO DETAILS, BUT THAT WORKS.
165
00:06:01,495 --> 00:06:02,961
MIKE DOESN'T WANT ME
COMING ALONG.
166
00:06:02,963 --> 00:06:04,696
TRUST ME, I'M A BIG BUMMER
ON A HUNTING TRIP.
167
00:06:04,698 --> 00:06:06,898
YOU'RE A BIG BUMMER
ON A LOT OF THINGS.
168
00:06:07,868 --> 00:06:09,668
IF YOU'LL GO TO SEE
MY ONCOLOGIST,
169
00:06:09,670 --> 00:06:11,236
RYAN CAN COME ALONG
WITH US.
170
00:06:11,238 --> 00:06:12,437
WHAT DO YOU GUYS THINK?
171
00:06:13,207 --> 00:06:14,506
ALL RIGHT.
172
00:06:14,508 --> 00:06:16,575
BUT I AM NOT GONNA SHOOT
ANYTHING.
173
00:06:16,577 --> 00:06:18,543
EXCEPT FOR
MAYBE A FEW PICTURES,
174
00:06:18,545 --> 00:06:21,813
'CAUSE THIS TIME OF YEAR,
THE WILDFLOWERS ARE SPECTACULAR.
175
00:06:21,815 --> 00:06:24,716
SURE YOU WANT
TO GET TO KNOW HIM, HUH?
176
00:06:29,390 --> 00:06:31,356
IT WAS SURPRISINGLY GRACIOUS
OF YOU
177
00:06:31,358 --> 00:06:33,759
TO INVITE VICTOR AND RYAN
ON YOUR HUNTING TRIP.
178
00:06:33,761 --> 00:06:35,927
I BLAME IT
ON STRONG CANADIAN BEER.
179
00:06:35,929 --> 00:06:38,764
OH, ADMIT IT --
YOU HAVE A SOFT SPOT FOR RYAN.
180
00:06:38,766 --> 00:06:41,566
YOU WANT TO HELP THOSE TWO
TRY TO PATCH THINGS UP.
181
00:06:41,568 --> 00:06:43,935
I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT ALL
THE TIME I SPENT WITH MY DAD,
182
00:06:43,937 --> 00:06:46,938
AND I THOUGHT TO MYSELF, "WHY
SHOULD RYAN GET OFF SO EASY?"
183
00:06:46,940 --> 00:06:48,006
[ LAUGHS ]
184
00:06:48,008 --> 00:06:49,007
WE'RE HERE.
185
00:06:49,009 --> 00:06:50,242
HEY.
HEY.
186
00:06:50,244 --> 00:06:51,676
HOW'D IT GO
WITH DR. CHEGLEY?
187
00:06:51,678 --> 00:06:53,245
OH, HE'S GONNA CALL
WITH THE TEST RESULTS.
188
00:06:53,247 --> 00:06:55,280
GOOD. OKAY.
YEAH, AND YOU WERE RIGHT
ABOUT HIS HANDS.
189
00:06:55,282 --> 00:06:57,115
FOR ALL I KNOW,
HE MIGHT STILL BE BACK THERE.
190
00:06:58,585 --> 00:07:01,119
MORE -- MORE FUN WORDS.
[ CHUCKLES ]
191
00:07:01,121 --> 00:07:02,888
OH. I LEFT SOME HOMEMADE SNACKS
IN THE CAR.
192
00:07:02,890 --> 00:07:04,689
I MADE MY SPECIAL GRANOLA.
193
00:07:05,526 --> 00:07:07,058
THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS
194
00:07:07,060 --> 00:07:09,060
WHEN YOU DON'T TEACH YOUR KID
ABOUT SPORTS.
195
00:07:09,062 --> 00:07:10,962
THANKS AGAIN FOR INTRODUCING ME
TO YOUR DOCTOR FRIEND, MIKE.
196
00:07:10,964 --> 00:07:12,130
YOU'RE WELCOME.
197
00:07:12,132 --> 00:07:14,132
I'M AFRAID
THERE'S REALLY NO POINT.
198
00:07:14,134 --> 00:07:15,434
OH, THERE'S ALWAYS HOPE.
199
00:07:15,436 --> 00:07:17,536
OH, THERE'S A TREMENDOUS AMOUNT
OF HOPE.
200
00:07:17,538 --> 00:07:19,171
I'M NOT ACTUALLY SICK.
201
00:07:20,974 --> 00:07:22,641
YOU'LL FIND OUT
WHEN CHEGLEY'S TESTS COME BACK,
202
00:07:22,643 --> 00:07:24,976
SO I MAY AS WELL
TELL YOU NOW.
203
00:07:24,978 --> 00:07:27,646
UM...THERE'S NOTHING WRONG
WITH ME.
204
00:07:27,648 --> 00:07:29,581
YOU TOLD YOUR KID
THAT YOU WERE DYING,
205
00:07:29,583 --> 00:07:31,483
YOU TOLD MY WHOLE FAMILY
YOU'RE DYING,
206
00:07:31,485 --> 00:07:33,718
SO THERE'S DEFINITELY
SOMETHING WRONG WITH YOU.
207
00:07:33,720 --> 00:07:35,253
I WAS SICK,
208
00:07:35,255 --> 00:07:36,988
AND I CALLED RYAN
WHEN I FIRST GOT THE DIAGNOSIS,
209
00:07:36,990 --> 00:07:39,591
AND FOR THE FIRST TIME IN YEARS,
HE CALLED ME BACK.
210
00:07:39,593 --> 00:07:42,127
HE EVEN INVITED ME DOWN HERE
TO SPEND TIME WITH HIM.
211
00:07:42,129 --> 00:07:43,929
YOU GOT TO TELL THE KID
THE TRUTH.
212
00:07:43,931 --> 00:07:46,631
YOU KNOW, HE'S GONNA NOTICE
IN A YEAR THAT YOU'RE NOT DEAD.
213
00:07:46,633 --> 00:07:49,468
PLEASE DON'T RUIN THIS.
RYAN IS FINALLY TALKING TO ME.
214
00:07:49,470 --> 00:07:51,903
I PROMISE I'LL TELL HIM
WHEN THE TIME IS RIGHT.
215
00:07:51,905 --> 00:07:53,438
WELL,
THE TIME WAS RIGHT
216
00:07:53,440 --> 00:07:55,807
BEFORE I ASKED YOU TWO FOOLS
TO GO HUNTING WITH ME.
217
00:07:55,809 --> 00:07:57,742
ALL SET.
218
00:07:59,313 --> 00:08:01,346
YOU KNOW, I'M REALLY GLAD
WE'RE DOING THIS, DAD.
219
00:08:01,348 --> 00:08:02,781
Victor: ME TOO.
220
00:08:02,783 --> 00:08:04,583
AND THANKS
FOR MAKING IT HAPPEN, MIKE.
221
00:08:06,153 --> 00:08:07,786
YEAH, YOU'RE WELCOME.
222
00:08:07,788 --> 00:08:09,421
LET'S GO
KILL SOME STUFF.
223
00:08:09,423 --> 00:08:12,090
PLEASE TELL ME YOU'VE GOT
A SMALL GUN IN THERE.
224
00:08:12,092 --> 00:08:13,758
OH, NO.
IT'S MY MANDOLIN.
225
00:08:13,760 --> 00:08:16,328
I MEMORIZED
EVERY VERSE OF "AMERICAN PIE."
226
00:08:16,330 --> 00:08:17,629
WELL, YOU PLAY THAT,
227
00:08:17,631 --> 00:08:19,764
THIS WILL BE
THE DAY THAT YOU DIE.
228
00:08:28,709 --> 00:08:31,943
OH, MAN.
229
00:08:31,945 --> 00:08:33,445
IT'S GREAT
TO BE BACK.
230
00:08:33,447 --> 00:08:36,448
THIS IS THE FIRST TIME
SINCE THAT CRAZY WEEKEND
231
00:08:36,450 --> 00:08:39,584
WENDI AND I CLEANED OUT
THE ADULT PLEASURE STORE.
232
00:08:41,221 --> 00:08:44,623
JUST...GIVE ME A MINUTE.
233
00:08:44,625 --> 00:08:47,526
JUST CLEAN UP.
DON'T PLAY WITH ANYTHING.
234
00:08:49,496 --> 00:08:50,962
THIS IS BREATHTAKING!
235
00:08:50,964 --> 00:08:52,697
OH. HEY, DAD.
LET ME GRAB THAT FOR YOU.
236
00:08:52,699 --> 00:08:53,832
OH!
SAVE YOUR STRENGTH.
237
00:08:53,834 --> 00:08:57,068
YEAH. RIGHT.
I'M DYING.
238
00:08:57,070 --> 00:08:59,504
OH, BUT I DON'T WANT
TO BE A BURDEN HERE.
I'LL MAKE MY OWN DRINKS.
239
00:08:59,506 --> 00:09:01,973
SOMEBODY BROUGHT SOUR MIX,
RIGHT?
240
00:09:01,975 --> 00:09:03,575
YOU'RE NOT GONNA HAVE
ANY DRINKS.
241
00:09:03,577 --> 00:09:05,644
YOU'RE GONNA TAKE YOUR SON FOR
A WALK AND TELL HIM THE TRUTH.
242
00:09:05,646 --> 00:09:07,679
MIKE, A DRINK
WOULD REALLY HELP ME.
243
00:09:07,681 --> 00:09:10,649
A SHRINK WOULD REALLY HELP YOU,
BUT WE DIDN'T PACK ONE OF THOSE.
244
00:09:14,154 --> 00:09:16,521
ALL RIGHT.
WELCOME, CAMPERS.
245
00:09:16,523 --> 00:09:18,056
UH, TWO HOUSE RULES --
246
00:09:18,058 --> 00:09:20,692
ONE, THE BIG COFFEE MUG
IS MINE,
247
00:09:20,694 --> 00:09:22,561
AND NOBODY DIES HERE,
ALL RIGHT?
248
00:09:24,064 --> 00:09:26,464
I WANT TO BE ABLE
TO SELL THIS PLACE TO ASIANS.
249
00:09:28,335 --> 00:09:30,569
YOU KNOW,
HE'S NOT KIDDING ABOUT THAT.
250
00:09:30,571 --> 00:09:33,738
THEY PAY CASH, BUT THEY'RE
SQUIRRELLY ABOUT DEATH.
251
00:09:33,740 --> 00:09:36,675
OKAY, LET'S STAY POSITIVE.
NOBODY'S GOING TO DIE HERE.
252
00:09:36,677 --> 00:09:38,443
I KNOW THAT MESSAGE
IS MEANT THAT FOR YOUR DAD,
253
00:09:38,445 --> 00:09:40,345
BUT IT'S HELPFUL
FOR ED, TOO.
254
00:09:41,682 --> 00:09:43,615
UH, DAD.
YEAH?
255
00:09:43,617 --> 00:09:45,216
I-I WAS GONNA WAIT
TILL TONIGHT,
256
00:09:45,218 --> 00:09:46,851
BUT, UH, I WANT
TO READ YOU SOMETHING.
257
00:09:46,853 --> 00:09:48,219
IT'S A POEM
THAT I WROTE.
258
00:09:48,221 --> 00:09:50,088
WHAT'S THE FASTEST-ACTING BOOZE
YOU GOT?
259
00:09:51,925 --> 00:09:54,593
SOME OF THIS
WILL BE HARD TO HEAR.
260
00:09:54,595 --> 00:09:55,594
HE'S NOT KIDDING.
261
00:09:55,596 --> 00:09:57,028
HE'S GOT FOUR STANZAS
262
00:09:57,030 --> 00:09:59,130
ABOUT TRYING TO PLAY CATCH
WITH A TOMBSTONE.
263
00:09:59,132 --> 00:10:00,799
I'LL JUST DRINK IT
OUT OF THE BOTTLE.
264
00:10:00,801 --> 00:10:02,467
YEAH.
265
00:10:02,469 --> 00:10:05,637
UM, IT GETS A LITTLE DARK,
BUT IT ENDS IN A GOOD PLACE,
266
00:10:05,639 --> 00:10:07,172
JUST LIKE
I HOPE YOU AND I WILL.
267
00:10:08,141 --> 00:10:10,075
I CALL IT "POPPA."
268
00:10:10,077 --> 00:10:12,143
ALL RIGHT, ALL RIGHT, ALL RIGHT.
THIS HAS GOT TO STOP.
269
00:10:12,145 --> 00:10:13,578
WE'RE ON THE VERGE
OF A BREAKTHROUGH.
270
00:10:13,580 --> 00:10:16,381
YOU'RE ON THE VERGE
OF A SEVERE BEATING.
271
00:10:16,383 --> 00:10:18,116
YOU WANT TO KNOW
THE BAD NEWS?
272
00:10:18,118 --> 00:10:19,451
YOUR DAD'S NOT SICK.
273
00:10:19,453 --> 00:10:21,186
THERE'S NOTHING WRONG
WITH HIM.
274
00:10:22,556 --> 00:10:24,222
WHAT?
275
00:10:24,224 --> 00:10:26,291
HE'S NOT DYING?
276
00:10:26,293 --> 00:10:29,127
WHY DID HE
GET TO RIDE SHOTGUN?
277
00:10:31,098 --> 00:10:33,331
IT'S TRUE.
278
00:10:33,333 --> 00:10:35,433
I LET YOU BELIEVE
THAT I WAS STILL SICK
279
00:10:35,435 --> 00:10:37,402
BECAUSE I THOUGHT
IT WAS THE ONLY WAY
280
00:10:37,404 --> 00:10:39,070
TO GET YOU
TO SEE ME AGAIN.
281
00:10:40,407 --> 00:10:43,241
NOW,
HOW ABOUT THAT POEM?
282
00:10:43,243 --> 00:10:45,310
UNBELIEVABLE.
283
00:10:45,312 --> 00:10:47,412
YOU KNOW, YOU HAVE ALWAYS BEEN
A SELF-CENTERED LIAR,
284
00:10:47,414 --> 00:10:49,848
BUT THIS TIME,
YOU'VE REALLY OUTDONE YOURSELF.
285
00:10:49,850 --> 00:10:51,449
I KNOW YOU DIDN'T MEAN THAT
AS A COMPLIMENT,
286
00:10:51,451 --> 00:10:52,817
BUT I'M GONNA TAKE IT
AS ONE,
287
00:10:52,819 --> 00:10:54,919
JUST TO KEEP THINGS LOVING
BETWEEN US.
288
00:10:54,921 --> 00:10:56,488
AND YOU WILL NEVER CHANGE.
289
00:11:03,764 --> 00:11:05,263
ALL RIGHT,
THAT'S YOUR FAULT.
290
00:11:05,265 --> 00:11:06,831
THERE'S A VACUUM CLEANER
IN THE CLOSET, ALL RIGHT?
291
00:11:08,368 --> 00:11:12,337
WAIT. JUST...LET ME QUICKLY
CHECK THE ATTACHMENTS FIRST.
292
00:11:13,674 --> 00:11:16,307
DON'T TRY TO GET ME TO GO BACK
IN THERE AND TALK TO HIM.
293
00:11:16,309 --> 00:11:19,177
NO, I JUST CAME OUT TO THANK YOU
FOR RIPPING UP THAT POETRY.
294
00:11:21,281 --> 00:11:22,947
LISTEN, THERE'S
A LITTLE MOTEL IN TOWN.
295
00:11:22,949 --> 00:11:24,349
I COULD TAKE YOU
DOWN THERE.
296
00:11:24,351 --> 00:11:26,117
NO REASON TO SPEND
ANY MORE TIME WITH YOUR DAD.
297
00:11:26,119 --> 00:11:27,552
OF COURSE
YOU WOULD DO THAT FOR ME.
298
00:11:27,554 --> 00:11:29,454
YOU'VE BEEN MORE A FATHER
THAN HE'S EVER BEEN.
299
00:11:29,456 --> 00:11:33,458
YOU KNOW, THAT'S SAD, ACTUALLY,
SINCE ALL I DO IS PICK ON YOU.
300
00:11:33,460 --> 00:11:36,027
GRAB YOUR STUFF.
301
00:11:37,731 --> 00:11:40,799
AM I REALLY SUPPOSED TO BELIEVE
THAT HE LIED TO ME ABOUT DYING
302
00:11:40,801 --> 00:11:42,300
SO HE COULD
GET CLOSER TO ME?
303
00:11:42,302 --> 00:11:44,969
HE SAYS IT WORKS FOR HIM
IN BARS.
304
00:11:44,971 --> 00:11:47,472
WHEN I THOUGHT I WAS LOSING HIM,
I WAS SO SAD,
305
00:11:47,474 --> 00:11:51,509
AND NOW I HAVE HIM BACK,
AND I'M JUST...MAD.
306
00:11:51,511 --> 00:11:53,511
REALLY CAN'T STOP THE POETRY,
CAN YOU?
307
00:11:53,513 --> 00:11:57,415
SEE, HE NEVER WORKED THIS HARD
TO SPEND TIME WITH ME BEFORE.
308
00:11:57,417 --> 00:12:00,218
WELL, I...GUESS
THAT COUNTS FOR SOMETHING?
309
00:12:00,220 --> 00:12:02,220
I JUST WISH HE WAS DIFFERENT,
YOU KNOW?
310
00:12:02,222 --> 00:12:04,189
WE CAN'T PICK OUR FATHERS,
YOU KNOW.
311
00:12:04,191 --> 00:12:06,858
LORD KNOWS I'VE TRIED.
312
00:12:06,860 --> 00:12:09,427
I USED TO SEND HEARTFELT LETTERS
TO MICKEY MANTLE.
313
00:12:09,429 --> 00:12:11,496
NOTHING.
314
00:12:12,733 --> 00:12:14,099
ALL RIGHT,
WHAT DO I DO?
315
00:12:14,101 --> 00:12:16,334
DO I GO BACK IN THERE
AND GIVE HIM ANOTHER SHOT?
316
00:12:16,336 --> 00:12:18,169
IT'S YOUR CALL, RYAN.
317
00:12:19,439 --> 00:12:20,739
ALL RIGHT.
318
00:12:22,275 --> 00:12:24,609
HOW OLD WERE YOU WHEN YOU WROTE
LETTERS TO MICKEY MANTLE?
319
00:12:24,611 --> 00:12:28,179
FROM ABOUT 10 TILL 31.
320
00:12:32,452 --> 00:12:36,020
SO, YOU NEVER EVEN SENT
YOUR RSVP?
321
00:12:36,022 --> 00:12:37,622
DID YOU NOTICE
THE RETURN ENVELOPE
322
00:12:37,624 --> 00:12:41,292
WITH THE STAMP
ALREADY ON IT?
323
00:12:41,294 --> 00:12:43,061
YOU USED IT
TO PAY YOUR CABLE BILL?
324
00:12:43,063 --> 00:12:46,865
W-- WHY -- WHY WOULD YOU
EVEN ADMIT THAT TO ME?
325
00:12:46,867 --> 00:12:48,299
OH, YOU KNOW WHAT?
NO. N--
326
00:12:48,301 --> 00:12:51,436
E-ENJOY YOUR 500 CHANNELS,
DORIS.
327
00:12:51,438 --> 00:12:53,071
THAT WAS
YOUR GREAT-AUNT DORIS.
328
00:12:53,073 --> 00:12:55,039
SHE SAYS HI.
329
00:12:55,041 --> 00:12:57,442
WHO NEEDS HER? THERE'S
BOUND TO BE SOMEONE ELSE
THERE WHO SMELLS BAD.
330
00:12:57,444 --> 00:12:58,710
[ CHUCKLES ]
331
00:12:58,712 --> 00:13:00,245
YOU KNOW, MOM,
IF YOU WANT TO WIN
332
00:13:00,247 --> 00:13:01,946
THIS POPULARITY CONTEST
WITH RYAN --
333
00:13:01,948 --> 00:13:05,316
MANDY, YOU KNOW WHAT?
NO, THAT IS NOT WHAT THIS IS.
334
00:13:05,318 --> 00:13:06,751
BUT GO ON.
335
00:13:06,753 --> 00:13:09,821
I HAVE OVER 2,000
INSTAGRAM FOLLOWERS.
336
00:13:09,823 --> 00:13:11,322
I COULD FILL
THAT CHURCH.
337
00:13:11,324 --> 00:13:13,658
'COURSE, THEY WOULD
ALL BE THERE IRONICALLY.
338
00:13:13,660 --> 00:13:14,826
[ DOORBELL RINGS ]
339
00:13:14,828 --> 00:13:16,227
I'LL GET IT.
340
00:13:16,229 --> 00:13:17,495
HMM.
341
00:13:17,497 --> 00:13:19,330
YOUR HIPSTER FRIENDS
OR CANADIANS --
342
00:13:19,332 --> 00:13:21,699
I WONDER WHO'D HAVE
MORE BEARDS AND SCARVES.
343
00:13:23,670 --> 00:13:24,903
HEY. HI, CHUCK.
HEY.
344
00:13:24,905 --> 00:13:26,938
COME ON IN. HEY.
[ CHUCKLES ] OKAY.
345
00:13:26,940 --> 00:13:29,107
WHAT'S GOING ON, VANESSA?
IT SOUNDED IMPORTANT.
346
00:13:29,109 --> 00:13:30,642
OH, IT'S VERY, VERY
IMPORTANT.
347
00:13:30,644 --> 00:13:32,243
UH, LISTEN, CHUCK.
348
00:13:32,245 --> 00:13:35,680
I, UH, I WANTED TO HAND-DELIVER
THIS WEDDING INVITATION.
349
00:13:35,682 --> 00:13:38,149
I DON'T KNOW
IF IT COUNTS AS DELIVERING
350
00:13:38,151 --> 00:13:40,185
SINCE YOU MADE ME
WALK OVER HERE.
351
00:13:40,187 --> 00:13:42,687
SO, I CAN COUNT ON YOU
AND CAROL AND BRANDON?
352
00:13:42,689 --> 00:13:44,689
A-AND, OH,
YOU EACH GET A PLUS-ONE.
353
00:13:44,691 --> 00:13:46,291
SOUNDS
KIND OF LAST-MINUTE.
354
00:13:46,293 --> 00:13:48,526
ISN'T KRISTIN'S WEDDING
LIKE A WEEK FROM NOW?
355
00:13:48,528 --> 00:13:50,829
NO, IT'S --
IT'S EIGHT OR NINE DAYS. IT'S...
356
00:13:50,831 --> 00:13:52,163
UH-HUH.
357
00:13:52,165 --> 00:13:53,798
SOUNDS LIKE
WE'RE ON THE B-LIST.
358
00:13:53,800 --> 00:13:55,099
HM.
HEY, HEY.
359
00:13:55,101 --> 00:13:56,434
I-I-IF YOU DO THIS
FOR ME,
360
00:13:56,436 --> 00:13:58,469
THEN YOU DON'T HAVE TO RETURN
MIKE'S DRILL.
361
00:13:58,471 --> 00:14:00,972
CAROL AND I
WERE SAVING THE DATE,
362
00:14:00,974 --> 00:14:02,607
BUT THE INVITATION
NEVER CAME,
363
00:14:02,609 --> 00:14:05,009
SO WE GOT TICKETS
TO THE DENVER SYMPHONY.
364
00:14:05,011 --> 00:14:06,544
I'LL BUY THE TICKETS
OFF YOU.
365
00:14:06,546 --> 00:14:10,682
I DON'T KNOW.
THE SYMPHONY'S DOING "BOLERO."
366
00:14:10,684 --> 00:14:14,152
CAROL AND I ENJOY IT.
IT'S VERY SENSUOUS.
367
00:14:14,154 --> 00:14:15,553
I'LL GET THE BAND
TO PLAY IT.
368
00:14:15,555 --> 00:14:16,721
DEAL.
369
00:14:16,723 --> 00:14:19,991
BUT, UH...
HAVE THEM PLAY IT EARLY.
370
00:14:19,993 --> 00:14:21,626
WE MAY WANT TO TAKE OFF.
371
00:14:26,032 --> 00:14:27,232
THE WORST DAY HUNTING
EVER!
372
00:14:27,234 --> 00:14:28,800
YEAH.
373
00:14:28,802 --> 00:14:31,336
WE SEE ONE TURKEY,
AND THIS GUY'S PHONE GOES OFF.
374
00:14:31,338 --> 00:14:33,471
AND IN ANSWER
TO YOUR RINGTONE --
375
00:14:33,473 --> 00:14:35,640
NO, I DO NOT THINK
YOU'RE SEXY.
376
00:14:37,978 --> 00:14:39,878
THANKS. THANKS.
377
00:14:41,214 --> 00:14:43,014
I WANT TO THANK YOU,
MIKE,
378
00:14:43,016 --> 00:14:46,684
FOR USHERING RYAN AND ME INTO
A NEW RELATIONSHIP OF HONESTY.
379
00:14:46,686 --> 00:14:47,986
I'D SAY IT'S MY PLEASURE,
380
00:14:47,988 --> 00:14:50,154
BUT YOU JUST DID
A BIG SPEECH ON HONESTY.
381
00:14:50,156 --> 00:14:51,689
AND I WANT
TO KEEP IT GOING.
382
00:14:51,691 --> 00:14:53,725
RYAN...
383
00:14:53,727 --> 00:14:56,327
I WASN'T AT THE HOSPITAL
THE DAY YOU WERE BORN.
384
00:14:56,329 --> 00:14:59,063
I WAS IN BED
WITH YOUR AUNT MARIE.
385
00:15:03,403 --> 00:15:06,004
I CAN GET THAT.
HOSPITALS AREN'T FOR EVERYBODY.
386
00:15:06,006 --> 00:15:07,872
DEAR GOD.
387
00:15:07,874 --> 00:15:09,607
WHY ARE YOU
TELLING ME THIS?
388
00:15:09,609 --> 00:15:12,076
DON'T YOU GET IT?
HE'S NUTS!
389
00:15:13,446 --> 00:15:14,846
I WANT TO GET IT ALL OUT
390
00:15:14,848 --> 00:15:16,281
SO THERE ARE NO MORE SECRETS
BETWEEN US.
391
00:15:16,283 --> 00:15:17,849
DO YOU REMEMBER
WHEN YOU WERE 10
392
00:15:17,851 --> 00:15:19,784
AND I TOLD YOU
I BROUGHT YOUR PUPPY TO A FARM?
393
00:15:19,786 --> 00:15:21,185
YEAH, I FIGURED THAT ONE OUT,
ALL RIGHT?
394
00:15:21,187 --> 00:15:22,353
BUSTER DIED. IT'S FINE.
395
00:15:22,355 --> 00:15:24,689
NO. I GAVE HIM
TO YOUR HALF-SISTER.
396
00:15:25,959 --> 00:15:27,959
OH, THAT'S ANOTHER THING --
YOU HAVE A HALF-SISTER.
397
00:15:27,961 --> 00:15:29,761
AUNT MARIE'S DAUGHTER.
398
00:15:30,964 --> 00:15:32,030
TAMMY, MY COUSIN?
399
00:15:32,032 --> 00:15:33,264
NOT ANYMORE.
400
00:15:35,235 --> 00:15:37,869
ALTHOUGH SHE CONTINUES TO BE
A WONDERFUL MOTHER TO BUSTER.
401
00:15:37,871 --> 00:15:39,971
YOU HEAR THAT?
YOUR PUPPY'S ALIVE!
402
00:15:39,973 --> 00:15:42,440
YOU KNOW, THAT'S IT.
I'M HIKING DOWN TO TOWN.
403
00:15:42,442 --> 00:15:43,942
I CAN'T DO THIS.
I THOUGHT I COULD. I CAN'T.
404
00:15:43,944 --> 00:15:45,810
WAIT. RYAN, WAIT!
DON'T GO.
405
00:15:45,812 --> 00:15:47,745
THERE'S SOMETHING
I HAVE TO TELL YOU.
406
00:15:47,747 --> 00:15:49,580
I'M DYING.
407
00:15:49,582 --> 00:15:52,383
I NEVER
WANT TO SEE YOU AGAIN.
408
00:15:53,320 --> 00:15:54,719
OR AUNT MARIE.
409
00:15:57,390 --> 00:16:00,258
YOU'RE DYING? REALLY?
410
00:16:00,260 --> 00:16:02,460
YOU REALIZE
WE'VE HEARD THAT ONE BEFORE?
411
00:16:02,462 --> 00:16:04,762
EXCEPT THIS TIME...
412
00:16:04,764 --> 00:16:06,197
IT REALLY IS TRUE.
413
00:16:07,801 --> 00:16:10,902
WHEN THE PHONE RANG
AND SCARED OFF THAT TURKEY,
414
00:16:10,904 --> 00:16:13,972
IT WAS DR. CHEGLEY CALLING
WITH MY TEST RESULTS.
415
00:16:13,974 --> 00:16:16,474
THEY DON'T GIVE THAT INFORMATION
OVER THE PHONE.
416
00:16:16,476 --> 00:16:18,142
THEY DIDN'T HAVE TO.
417
00:16:18,144 --> 00:16:20,011
HE ASKED IF HE COULD SEE ME
IN HIS OFFICE ON MONDAY.
418
00:16:20,013 --> 00:16:21,813
WHAT TIME?
FIRST THING.
419
00:16:21,815 --> 00:16:23,648
MY CONDOLENCES.
420
00:16:24,818 --> 00:16:26,951
THAT COULDN'T HAVE BEEN
AN EASY CALL TO GET.
421
00:16:26,953 --> 00:16:28,319
YEAH, BUT I'M SAYING,
WE'RE HUNTING.
422
00:16:28,321 --> 00:16:29,520
HE COULD'VE
PUT THE PHONE ON "VIBRATE."
423
00:16:37,530 --> 00:16:39,497
ALL RIGHT,
I THINK YOU KNOW BY NOW
424
00:16:39,499 --> 00:16:41,599
THAT RYAN IS NOT COMING BACK,
ALL RIGHT?
425
00:16:41,601 --> 00:16:43,468
THANKS.
ALL RIGHT.
426
00:16:43,470 --> 00:16:45,303
NOW, I DON'T MEAN
TO BE RUDE, BUT...
427
00:16:45,305 --> 00:16:47,271
WHY THE HELL
ARE YOU STILL HERE?
428
00:16:47,273 --> 00:16:50,541
THIS DAY HAS NOT GONE
AS I'D HOPED.
429
00:16:50,543 --> 00:16:52,043
YEAH.
430
00:16:52,045 --> 00:16:53,611
THE ONLY ONES HAPPY
ABOUT THIS HUNTING TRIP
431
00:16:53,613 --> 00:16:55,446
ARE THE TURKEYS.
432
00:16:55,448 --> 00:16:57,882
I HAVE AN INCURABLE DISEASE.
MY SON HATES ME.
433
00:16:57,884 --> 00:16:59,450
DON'T LEAVE US OUT.
434
00:17:01,521 --> 00:17:04,822
THERE'S ONLY ONE THING LEFT
TO DO THAT MAKES ANY SENSE.
435
00:17:04,824 --> 00:17:06,758
I WANT ONE OF YOU
TO SHOOT ME.
436
00:17:08,028 --> 00:17:11,729
FINALLY --
A PLAN I CAN GET BEHIND.
437
00:17:11,731 --> 00:17:14,499
ALL RIGHT.
LET'S DO ROCK, PAPER, SCISSORS.
438
00:17:14,501 --> 00:17:15,700
I GOT ROCK AND PAPER
RIGHT HERE.
439
00:17:15,702 --> 00:17:17,035
I'M SERIOUS!
440
00:17:17,037 --> 00:17:19,037
YOUR SON'S GETTING MARRIED
IN A WEEK.
441
00:17:19,039 --> 00:17:20,805
WHICH IS WHY IT'S BEST
THAT YOU SHOOT ME NOW.
442
00:17:20,807 --> 00:17:22,473
I DON'T WANT
TO RUIN THE WEDDING.
443
00:17:22,475 --> 00:17:23,975
IS THIS YOUR WAY
444
00:17:23,977 --> 00:17:25,743
OF GETTING OUT OF PAYING
FOR THE REHEARSAL DINNER?
445
00:17:25,745 --> 00:17:28,312
I WANT RYAN TO GET THE MONEY
FROM MY LIFE INSURANCE.
446
00:17:28,314 --> 00:17:29,914
THE POLICY EXPIRES
IN A MONTH.
447
00:17:29,916 --> 00:17:32,083
I DON'T WANT TO RISK
NOT BEING DEAD BY THEN.
448
00:17:32,085 --> 00:17:33,551
THE MAN IS SICK.
449
00:17:33,553 --> 00:17:34,752
WHY NOT LET HIM GO OUT
THE WAY HE WANTS?
450
00:17:34,754 --> 00:17:36,788
NOBODY'S SHOOTING ANYBODY.
451
00:17:38,925 --> 00:17:42,493
WELL, IN THAT CASE,
I'M GOING TO BED.
452
00:17:42,495 --> 00:17:43,828
GOOD NIGHT.
453
00:17:43,830 --> 00:17:47,498
AND IF MIKE CHANGES HIS MIND,
GOODBYE.
454
00:17:51,204 --> 00:17:53,704
HE'S GONE. NOW'S YOUR CHANCE.
NO WITNESSES.
455
00:17:53,706 --> 00:17:55,273
YOU KNOW,
I HATE GUYS LIKE YOU.
456
00:17:55,275 --> 00:17:56,941
YOU TAKE YOUR SON
FOR GRANTED.
457
00:17:56,943 --> 00:17:58,843
YOU KNOW, A LOT OF US
DON'T HAVE SONS.
458
00:17:58,845 --> 00:18:00,111
I'D LIKE TO HAVE A SON.
459
00:18:00,113 --> 00:18:01,913
I LOVE MY DAUGHTERS,
BLAH, BLAH, BLAH.
460
00:18:01,915 --> 00:18:03,781
WHICH IS NOT THEIR NAMES,
BY THE WAY.
461
00:18:03,783 --> 00:18:05,683
BUT HAVING A SON
IS SPECIAL, YOU KNOW?
462
00:18:05,685 --> 00:18:07,418
AND YOU DON'T EVEN CARE
ABOUT THAT.
463
00:18:07,420 --> 00:18:09,287
AH, I SEE.
YOU'RE GONNA SCOLD ME TO DEATH.
464
00:18:10,957 --> 00:18:12,223
I GET IT, MIKE.
465
00:18:12,225 --> 00:18:13,758
I WASN'T
THE PERFECT FATHER.
466
00:18:13,760 --> 00:18:16,360
YOU'RE NO MICKEY MANTLE.
467
00:18:16,362 --> 00:18:19,263
I WAS NEVER THERE FOR RYAN,
AND NOW I'M RUNNING OUT OF TIME.
468
00:18:19,265 --> 00:18:21,032
I THOUGHT
MAYBE THE INSURANCE MONEY
469
00:18:21,034 --> 00:18:22,900
WOULD MAKE UP FOR THAT
IN SOME WAY.
470
00:18:22,902 --> 00:18:24,235
IT WOULD MAKE UP FOR THAT
471
00:18:24,237 --> 00:18:25,470
IF YOU AND RYAN
COULD GET TO A GOOD PLACE.
472
00:18:25,472 --> 00:18:27,138
I DON'T KNOW
HOW TO DO THAT.
473
00:18:27,140 --> 00:18:29,740
STOP BEING SUCH A JACKASS
AND BE A FATHER.
474
00:18:29,742 --> 00:18:32,043
[ CELLPHONE RINGS ]
475
00:18:32,045 --> 00:18:33,311
[ SIGHS ]
476
00:18:33,313 --> 00:18:34,278
YEAH?
477
00:18:34,280 --> 00:18:35,813
HEY, RYAN.
478
00:18:36,649 --> 00:18:39,150
WHAT? SLOW DOWN.
479
00:18:39,152 --> 00:18:41,085
YEAH.
480
00:18:41,087 --> 00:18:43,321
ALL RIGHT, RIGHT, RIGHT.
I-I KNOW EXACTLY WHERE THAT IS.
481
00:18:43,323 --> 00:18:45,890
I'LL BE RIGHT THERE.
JUST CALM DOWN.
482
00:18:45,892 --> 00:18:46,991
YOUR KID SLIPPED,
AND HE FELL.
483
00:18:46,993 --> 00:18:47,992
IS HE OKAY?
484
00:18:47,994 --> 00:18:49,627
HE HURT HIS FOOT.
485
00:18:49,629 --> 00:18:51,362
I HOPE IT'S NOT THE ONE
HE USUALLY PUTS IN HIS MOUTH.
486
00:18:52,599 --> 00:18:53,965
WAIT.
I'M GOING WITH YOU.
487
00:18:53,967 --> 00:18:55,433
I THOUGHT
YOU WANTED TO DIE.
488
00:18:55,435 --> 00:18:57,768
AND IF YOU DO,
YOU WALK THAT WAY ABOUT 50 FEET.
489
00:18:57,770 --> 00:18:59,237
THERE'S A CLIFF.
YOU'LL D--
490
00:18:59,239 --> 00:19:01,806
DID I SAY "50"? 100.
491
00:19:01,808 --> 00:19:03,474
I-I DON'T WANT TO DO THAT
ANYMORE.
492
00:19:03,476 --> 00:19:05,476
I JUST WANT TO SEE
WITH MY OWN TWO EYES
IF MY SON IS OKAY.
493
00:19:05,478 --> 00:19:06,777
YOU KNOW
WHAT THAT SOUNDS LIKE?
494
00:19:06,779 --> 00:19:08,012
THAT SOUNDS LIKE
BEING A FATHER.
495
00:19:08,014 --> 00:19:09,380
LEAD THE WAY.
496
00:19:12,685 --> 00:19:14,185
OKAY,
THAT WAS YOUR FATHER.
497
00:19:14,187 --> 00:19:16,287
HE SAID
THEY SHOULD BE BACK ANY SECOND.
498
00:19:16,289 --> 00:19:19,157
POOR RYAN. SIX HOURS IN THE E.R.
WITH A BROKEN FOOT?
499
00:19:19,159 --> 00:19:20,625
YEAH, SIX HOURS.
500
00:19:20,627 --> 00:19:23,361
I'M SURPRISED YOUR DAD
DIDN'T JUST PUT HIM DOWN.
501
00:19:23,363 --> 00:19:26,430
AT LEAST NOW WE WON'T HAVE TO DO
THAT CHOREOGRAPHED WEDDING DANCE
502
00:19:26,432 --> 00:19:28,432
THAT HE WANTS
TO PUT ON YouTube.
503
00:19:28,434 --> 00:19:29,767
HONEY, YOU KNOW WHAT?
504
00:19:29,769 --> 00:19:31,769
MAYBE WE SHOULD
POSTPONE THE WEDDING --
505
00:19:31,771 --> 00:19:33,771
YOU KNOW,
GIVE RYAN'S FOOT TIME TO HEAL
506
00:19:33,773 --> 00:19:36,607
AND GIVE ME A CHANCE TO REALLY
PACK OUR SIDE OF THE CHURCH.
507
00:19:36,609 --> 00:19:40,044
W-W-- NO. WHAT IF RYAN'S DAD
DIES IN THE MEANTIME?
508
00:19:40,046 --> 00:19:42,446
KRISTIN,
THERE IS NO PERFECT PLAN.
509
00:19:43,816 --> 00:19:45,616
WE ARE NOT POSTPONING
THIS WEDDING, OKAY?
510
00:19:45,618 --> 00:19:47,685
IF WE WAIT ANY LONGER,
I'LL BE THE "SOMETHING OLD."
511
00:19:47,687 --> 00:19:49,453
[ SCOFFS ]
512
00:19:55,495 --> 00:19:58,629
CLEAR THE PATH!
INJURED MAN COMING THROUGH!
513
00:19:58,631 --> 00:19:59,730
OH, HONEY!
LOOK AT YOU!
514
00:19:59,732 --> 00:20:00,998
HE'S FINE.
515
00:20:01,000 --> 00:20:03,301
NOT THIS ONE.
RYAN'S FINE.
516
00:20:03,303 --> 00:20:05,169
WHERE'S YOUR MOM?
517
00:20:05,171 --> 00:20:06,337
IN THE KITCHEN.
518
00:20:06,339 --> 00:20:08,706
HI.
HI.
519
00:20:08,708 --> 00:20:10,908
DON'T WORRY. I'M STILL GONNA BE
READY FOR THAT YouTube DANCE.
520
00:20:10,910 --> 00:20:14,478
OH, DON'T PUSH IT. JUST TAKE
AS LONG AS YOU NEED TO HEAL.
521
00:20:14,480 --> 00:20:16,047
OH, LET'S GET THAT FOOT
ELEVATED.
522
00:20:16,049 --> 00:20:17,481
OKAY.
523
00:20:17,483 --> 00:20:19,016
HERE, I GOT IT.
I GOT IT.
OH. OKAY.
524
00:20:19,018 --> 00:20:20,751
I'M SORRY, BUT YOU HAVE
THE REST OF YOUR LIFE
525
00:20:20,753 --> 00:20:22,486
TO TAKE CARE OF HIM.
526
00:20:22,488 --> 00:20:25,056
ACTUALLY, I DO, TOO, BUT FOR ME,
THAT COULD BE THURSDAY.
527
00:20:26,559 --> 00:20:28,826
UH, CAN I GET YOU
ANYTHING?
528
00:20:28,828 --> 00:20:31,596
NOPE. I THINK I GOT
EVERYTHING I NEED RIGHT HERE.
529
00:20:31,598 --> 00:20:33,064
[ SIGHS ]
OH, MAN.
530
00:20:34,234 --> 00:20:36,000
SORRY.
I JUST -- YOU KNOW.
531
00:20:36,002 --> 00:20:38,269
I VISUALIZED EVERY PART
OF THIS MOMENT.
532
00:20:38,271 --> 00:20:40,838
EXCEPT MAYBE
THE BROKEN FOOT.
533
00:20:40,840 --> 00:20:42,073
THAT WAS ME.
534
00:20:43,676 --> 00:20:45,610
[ SIGHS ]
HEY, BABE, I'M STARVING.
535
00:20:45,612 --> 00:20:47,345
OH, I THINK
THERE'S SOME SOUP.
536
00:20:47,347 --> 00:20:49,180
I'LL GET IT.
537
00:20:49,182 --> 00:20:50,881
O FRABJOUS DAY!
538
00:20:50,883 --> 00:20:52,450
CALLOOH, CALLAY!
539
00:20:52,452 --> 00:20:55,586
I'VE GOT MY SON BACK,
AND HE WANTS SOUP!
540
00:20:59,192 --> 00:21:02,860
AND TO THINK I HAD A CLEAR SHOT
AND HIS PERMISSION.
541
00:21:02,862 --> 00:21:05,263
SO, IT LOOKS LIKE
THINGS ARE FINALLY GOOD
542
00:21:05,265 --> 00:21:06,697
BETWEEN YOU AND YOUR DAD.
543
00:21:06,699 --> 00:21:08,633
YEAH, WELL, I HAVE MIKE
TO THANK FOR THAT.
544
00:21:08,635 --> 00:21:10,568
LOOK, I DON'T KNOW
WHAT YOU SAID UP AT THE CABIN,
545
00:21:10,570 --> 00:21:12,536
BUT IT REALLY
MADE A DIFFERENCE.
546
00:21:12,538 --> 00:21:15,439
I SAID WHAT ANY GUY WOULD SAY --
"LOOK, STEP UP AND BE A FATHER,
547
00:21:15,441 --> 00:21:18,643
AND, NO, I WILL NOT
SHOOT YOU IN THE FACE."
548
00:21:20,280 --> 00:21:22,213
WELL, THANKS.
549
00:21:22,215 --> 00:21:24,582
YOU KNOW, I COULD'VE DONE WORSE
THAN TO HAVE A FATHER LIKE YOU.
550
00:21:24,584 --> 00:21:26,951
YEAH, I KNOW.
I MET HIM.
41041
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