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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:02,937 --> 00:00:04,336 "LAST MAN STANDING" IS RECORDED 2 00:00:04,338 --> 00:00:05,804 IN FRONT OF A LIVE STUDIO AUDIENCE. 3 00:00:05,806 --> 00:00:07,473 WE ARE GONNA NEED TO STEAM THESE TABLECLOTHS. 4 00:00:07,475 --> 00:00:09,174 THEY ARE TOO WRINKLY. 5 00:00:09,176 --> 00:00:11,543 THEN DO ED. 6 00:00:11,545 --> 00:00:13,045 I TAKE A STEAM EVERY MORNING. 7 00:00:13,047 --> 00:00:14,947 FOR FIVE MINUTES, I LOOK LIKE SCOTT BAIO. 8 00:00:14,949 --> 00:00:18,217 THEN THE MIRROR UN-FOGS, AND I'M SIR BEN KINGSLEY. 9 00:00:18,219 --> 00:00:21,186 GENTLEMEN, THE OUTDOOR MAN GRILL, 10 00:00:21,188 --> 00:00:23,722 FEATURING EXOTIC MEATS FROM AROUND THE WORLD, 11 00:00:23,724 --> 00:00:26,358 IS RIGHT ON SCHEDULE FOR A SOFT OPENING TOMORROW NIGHT. 12 00:00:26,360 --> 00:00:28,827 YEAH, THIS DRY RUN IS A GREAT IDEA. 13 00:00:28,829 --> 00:00:30,129 YOU GET TO WORK OUT ALL YOUR SCREW-UPS, 14 00:00:30,131 --> 00:00:31,296 LIKE YOU DO WITH YOUR FIRST KID. 15 00:00:31,298 --> 00:00:32,698 HEY. 16 00:00:32,700 --> 00:00:34,033 I'M YOUR FIRST KID. 17 00:00:34,035 --> 00:00:35,834 AND YOU SEE HOW WELL EVE'S TURNED OUT. 18 00:00:35,836 --> 00:00:37,302 AWW. 19 00:00:37,304 --> 00:00:39,338 I DON'T KNOW, MIKEY -- IT FEELS A LITTLE CHILLY. 20 00:00:39,340 --> 00:00:40,305 Mike: YEAH, I KNOW. 21 00:00:40,307 --> 00:00:41,807 UH, STUDIES SHOW 22 00:00:41,809 --> 00:00:43,075 THAT LOWER TEMPERATURES INCREASE FOOD SALES. 23 00:00:43,077 --> 00:00:44,743 PEOPLE CAN'T EAT AS MUCH WHEN IT'S HOT. 24 00:00:44,745 --> 00:00:46,378 YEAH? HAVE YOU EVER BEEN TO THE SOUTH? 25 00:00:46,380 --> 00:00:48,313 "MISSISSIPPI BURNING" HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH CALORIES. 26 00:00:48,315 --> 00:00:49,882 I'LL TELL YOU THAT. 27 00:00:49,884 --> 00:00:51,550 I'M TALKING ABOUT AMBIANCE. 28 00:00:51,552 --> 00:00:53,318 I LIKE A PLACE THAT REMINDS ME 29 00:00:53,320 --> 00:00:55,054 OF MEALS SHARED WITH FAMILY AND FRIENDS AND -- 30 00:00:55,056 --> 00:00:56,889 YEAH, YEAH, LIKE WHEN THE INDIANS BROUGHT THE CORN, 31 00:00:56,891 --> 00:00:58,390 AND YOU BROUGHT THEM TURKEY. 32 00:00:58,392 --> 00:00:59,892 THAT'S FUNNY. EXCUSE ME. 33 00:00:59,894 --> 00:01:02,261 I'M GONNA DISCUSS THE MENU WITH THE SOUS CHEF. 34 00:01:02,263 --> 00:01:05,364 AND YOU'RE STILL FRIENDS WITH THE SIOUX? 35 00:01:05,366 --> 00:01:07,399 HEY, MR. B? CAN I TALK TO YOU? 36 00:01:07,401 --> 00:01:10,102 UM, I WAS WONDERING IF I COULD BE A WAITER. 37 00:01:10,104 --> 00:01:11,537 I DON'T WANT TO SPREAD YOU TOO THIN. 38 00:01:11,539 --> 00:01:13,038 YOU'RE ALREADY IN A JOB YOU'RE NO GOOD AT. 39 00:01:13,040 --> 00:01:15,074 IT'S JUST I COULD REALLY USE THE TIPS. 40 00:01:15,076 --> 00:01:17,276 THE TIP IS GET BETTER AT THE JOB YOU'RE NO GOOD AT. 41 00:01:17,278 --> 00:01:19,878 KYLE, I-I TOLD YOU YOU COULD HELP US OUT WITH VALET PARKING. 42 00:01:19,880 --> 00:01:21,380 IS THAT OKAY WITH YOU, MR. B? 43 00:01:21,382 --> 00:01:22,347 FINE. 44 00:01:22,349 --> 00:01:23,782 ALL RIGHT. 45 00:01:23,784 --> 00:01:25,050 I MEAN, "VALET" DOES NOT CLASS UP THE RéSUMé 46 00:01:25,052 --> 00:01:26,952 LIKE THE WORD "WAITER." 47 00:01:26,954 --> 00:01:29,688 WHO AM I KIDDING? I'M GONNA DIE IN THIS PLACE. 48 00:01:31,125 --> 00:01:33,092 WHY DID KYLE ASK YOU IF HE COULD BE A WAITER? 49 00:01:33,094 --> 00:01:34,726 HE DIDN'T EVEN THINK TO TALK TO ME. 50 00:01:34,728 --> 00:01:36,562 SO, HIM NOT TALKING TO YOU IS A BAD THING? 51 00:01:36,564 --> 00:01:38,897 DAD -- DAD, IF I'M GONNA BE TAKEN SERIOUSLY AS A MANAGER, 52 00:01:38,899 --> 00:01:41,366 I NEED EVERYONE TO KNOW THAT I AM IN CHARGE. 53 00:01:41,368 --> 00:01:43,435 MR. BAXTER, WHICH NAPKIN FOLD DO YOU PREFER -- 54 00:01:43,437 --> 00:01:44,703 BISHOP'S HAT OR PYRAMID? 55 00:01:44,705 --> 00:01:47,272 I THINK YOU SHOULD ASK THE MANAGER. 56 00:01:47,274 --> 00:01:50,943 PYRAMID -- SIMPLE. CLASSIC. 57 00:01:50,945 --> 00:01:52,277 THANK YOU, DAD. 58 00:01:52,279 --> 00:01:53,645 THAT WAS A GOOD CALL. 59 00:01:53,647 --> 00:01:55,981 NOBODY WANTS A BISHOP'S HAT IN THEIR LAP. 60 00:01:55,983 --> 00:01:57,282 OH. OH. 61 00:01:57,284 --> 00:01:58,717 ANDRE TELLS ME 62 00:01:58,719 --> 00:02:00,752 YOU'RE NOT PLANNING TO HAVE BREAD ON THE TABLES? 63 00:02:00,754 --> 00:02:04,089 PEOPLE WHO FILL UP ON FREE BREAD DON'T TEND TO BUY DESSERT. 64 00:02:04,091 --> 00:02:05,424 THAT'S NONSENSE. 65 00:02:05,426 --> 00:02:06,391 WE WANT THE INVITING AROMA OF BAKED GOODS 66 00:02:06,393 --> 00:02:08,127 WAFTING THROUGH THE AIR. 67 00:02:08,129 --> 00:02:12,064 ED, I'M THE MANAGER, AND I GET TO DECIDE WHAT WAFTS, OKAY? 68 00:02:12,066 --> 00:02:14,133 TRUST ME. I KNOW MY CUSTOMERS. 69 00:02:14,135 --> 00:02:15,834 BREAD ON EVERY TABLE, HMM? 70 00:02:15,836 --> 00:02:18,837 WHAT, BUT -- UH, BUT WE DON'T EVEN HAVE BREAD BASKETS. 71 00:02:18,839 --> 00:02:21,273 YES, BUT WE HAVE A WAREHOUSE FULL OF BAIT BUCKETS. 72 00:02:21,275 --> 00:02:22,474 THROW THE BREAD IN THOSE. 73 00:02:22,476 --> 00:02:23,308 I'M SORRY. 74 00:02:23,310 --> 00:02:24,576 I DIDN'T REALLY SEE THIS 75 00:02:24,578 --> 00:02:26,078 AS A BAIT-BUCKET KIND OF A PLACE. 76 00:02:26,080 --> 00:02:29,414 NO NEED TO APOLOGIZE. YOU'LL CATCH ON. 77 00:02:29,416 --> 00:02:32,184 I LOVE THESE LITTLE HAT NAPKINS. 78 00:02:32,186 --> 00:02:33,552 GO WITH THESE. 79 00:02:35,189 --> 00:02:38,323 -- Captions by VITAC -- 80 00:02:42,863 --> 00:02:44,429 [ LAUGHS ] HEY, MRS. BAXTER. 81 00:02:44,431 --> 00:02:45,430 HEY, CAMMY. 82 00:02:45,432 --> 00:02:46,999 HEY. HEY. 83 00:02:47,001 --> 00:02:48,167 OH, THERE'S MY MATH BOOK. 84 00:02:48,169 --> 00:02:49,468 I TOLD YOU I LEFT IT HERE. 85 00:02:49,470 --> 00:02:50,836 WHERE HAVE YOU GUYS BEEN? 86 00:02:50,838 --> 00:02:51,703 BATTING CAGE. 87 00:02:51,705 --> 00:02:53,172 MM, AND TO ESCAPE, 88 00:02:53,174 --> 00:02:54,273 YOU HAD TO GIVE THEM ALL YOUR GIRL CLOTHES? 89 00:02:55,709 --> 00:02:57,042 NOW, DON'T FEEL BAD. 90 00:02:57,044 --> 00:02:58,610 MANDY MADE FUN OF MY OUTFIT, TOO. 91 00:02:58,612 --> 00:03:03,649 I APPARENTLY LOOK LIKE A FLOAT IN THE A.A.R.P. PARADE. 92 00:03:03,651 --> 00:03:05,617 THANKS FOR HELPING WITH MY SWING. 93 00:03:05,619 --> 00:03:07,719 THIS CHURCH SOFTBALL LEAGUE IS ROUGH. 94 00:03:07,721 --> 00:03:09,188 WELL, REMEMBER WHAT I TOLD YOU ABOUT TRASH TALK -- 95 00:03:09,190 --> 00:03:10,522 DON'T CRY. 96 00:03:10,524 --> 00:03:13,192 SORRY. YOU'RE JUST REALLY GOOD AT IT. 97 00:03:13,194 --> 00:03:15,027 I'LL BE IN THE STANDS ON SATURDAY. 98 00:03:15,029 --> 00:03:16,461 ANYONE TRIES TO GIVE YOU A HARD TIME, 99 00:03:16,463 --> 00:03:17,362 THEY'LL HAVE TO TALK TO ME. 100 00:03:17,364 --> 00:03:18,564 [ CHUCKLES ] 101 00:03:18,566 --> 00:03:19,665 OH, WATCH OUT FOR PASTOR CLARK. 102 00:03:19,667 --> 00:03:21,233 WHEN THE COLLAR COMES OFF, 103 00:03:21,235 --> 00:03:23,502 COMMANDMENTS 3, 4, 8, AND 10 GO RIGHT OUT THE WINDOW. 104 00:03:23,504 --> 00:03:24,903 [ CHUCKLES ] 105 00:03:24,905 --> 00:03:26,004 SEE YOU. BYE. 106 00:03:26,006 --> 00:03:26,838 SEE YOU. 107 00:03:26,840 --> 00:03:29,141 AHH. 108 00:03:29,143 --> 00:03:30,108 [ SIGHS ] 109 00:03:31,378 --> 00:03:33,412 SO... 110 00:03:34,915 --> 00:03:37,216 ...HOW WAS YOUR DATE WITH CAMMY? 111 00:03:37,218 --> 00:03:39,585 SHUT UP. IT WAS JUST BATTING PRACTICE. 112 00:03:39,587 --> 00:03:43,055 OOH, ANYONE GET TO FIRST BASE OR... 113 00:03:43,057 --> 00:03:44,823 [SMOOCHES] SECOND BASE... 114 00:03:44,825 --> 00:03:47,826 OR...ADOPT A CAT TOGETHER? 115 00:03:49,230 --> 00:03:51,430 HEY, I KNOW THAT SHE CAME BACK FOR HER MATH BOOK, 116 00:03:51,432 --> 00:03:54,399 BUT WHAT I SAW WAS ALL CHEMISTRY! 117 00:03:54,401 --> 00:03:56,568 CAMMY'S MY FRIEND, OKAY? 118 00:03:56,570 --> 00:03:58,103 SURE, SHE THINKS I'M AWESOME, 119 00:03:58,105 --> 00:03:58,904 BUT IT WOULD BE WEIRD IF SHE DIDN'T. 120 00:03:58,906 --> 00:04:00,339 MM. 121 00:04:00,341 --> 00:04:02,374 DID YOU SEE HER BLUSH WHEN SHE HUGGED YOU GOODBYE? 122 00:04:02,376 --> 00:04:04,576 HER CHEEKS GOT ALL ROSY... 123 00:04:04,578 --> 00:04:05,844 O'DONNELL! 124 00:04:07,715 --> 00:04:09,081 THERE'S A BAT RIGHT HERE, 125 00:04:09,083 --> 00:04:11,049 AND I KNOW EXACTLY HOW TO USE IT. 126 00:04:11,051 --> 00:04:12,618 OF COURSE, MOM'S GONNA BE SAD 127 00:04:12,620 --> 00:04:14,853 WHEN SHE FINDS OUT SHE'LL NEVER BE A GRANDMA. 128 00:04:14,855 --> 00:04:17,456 WELL, SHE IS A GRANDMA. 129 00:04:17,458 --> 00:04:19,358 AND I LIKE GUYS, ALL RIGHT? 130 00:04:19,360 --> 00:04:21,593 YEAH, HOW YOU GONNA BREAK THAT TO CAMMY? 131 00:04:22,730 --> 00:04:23,629 HEY. 132 00:04:23,631 --> 00:04:25,063 WANT SOME TEA, KRIS? 133 00:04:25,065 --> 00:04:27,199 WHAT I WANT IS SOME DAMN RESPECT. 134 00:04:27,201 --> 00:04:29,901 WANT SOME TEA, YOUR MAJESTY? 135 00:04:29,903 --> 00:04:31,803 ED KEEPS OVERRULING ME 136 00:04:31,805 --> 00:04:33,805 ON EVERY SINGLE THING AT THE RESTAURANT. 137 00:04:33,807 --> 00:04:35,807 HE'S UNDERMINING ME IN FRONT OF MY STAFF. 138 00:04:35,809 --> 00:04:37,242 OH, I HAVE BEEN THERE. BELIEVE ME. 139 00:04:37,244 --> 00:04:38,777 IN MY CAREER, 140 00:04:38,779 --> 00:04:41,146 I'VE HAD TO DEAL WITH PLENTY OF OLD-SCHOOL GUYS. 141 00:04:41,148 --> 00:04:43,749 GEOLOGY ATTRACTS SOME PRETTY MACHO MEN. 142 00:04:43,751 --> 00:04:45,584 SO DID THE VILLAGE PEOPLE. 143 00:04:45,586 --> 00:04:48,320 SOME MEN JUST HAVE ISSUES WITH STRONG WOMEN. 144 00:04:48,322 --> 00:04:49,621 THAT'S NOT TRUE. 145 00:04:49,623 --> 00:04:50,589 NO? 146 00:04:50,591 --> 00:04:51,957 MEN LIKE STRONG WOMEN. 147 00:04:51,959 --> 00:04:54,626 UH, MARGARET THATCHER, ANGELA MERKEL, HUH? 148 00:04:54,628 --> 00:04:57,329 BUSH COULDN'T KEEP HIS HANDS OFF HER. 149 00:04:57,331 --> 00:04:59,398 WELL, I DON'T THINK ED IS BEING SEXIST. 150 00:04:59,400 --> 00:05:00,966 HE'S JUST KNOWN ME FOREVER. 151 00:05:00,968 --> 00:05:02,267 HOW CAN HE THINK OF ME AS A BOSS 152 00:05:02,269 --> 00:05:03,969 WHEN HE'S SEEN ME IN MY DIAPERS? 153 00:05:03,971 --> 00:05:07,005 WALK IN ON HIM GETTING DRESSED, AND YOU'LL BE EVEN. 154 00:05:07,007 --> 00:05:09,308 HEY, DAD, WE ARE OPENING TOMORROW. 155 00:05:09,310 --> 00:05:10,809 CAN YOU PLEASE TALK TO ED 156 00:05:10,811 --> 00:05:12,177 AND TELL HIM TO STOP SECOND-GUESSING ME 157 00:05:12,179 --> 00:05:13,679 IN FRONT OF THE STAFF? 158 00:05:13,681 --> 00:05:16,081 I COULD, BUT I'M NOT GOING TO DO THAT. 159 00:05:16,083 --> 00:05:19,685 MOM, CAN YOU PLEASE TALK TO DAD ABOUT TALKING TO ED? 160 00:05:19,687 --> 00:05:21,186 I DON'T HAVE MUCH PULL WITH HIM. 161 00:05:21,188 --> 00:05:22,854 YOU'RE BETTER OFF GOING THROUGH EVE. 162 00:05:22,856 --> 00:05:24,489 I'M LISTENING. 163 00:05:24,491 --> 00:05:27,826 DAD, YOU HAVE BEEN ED'S PARTNER FOR 25 YEARS. 164 00:05:27,828 --> 00:05:29,594 I THINK YOU WOULD BE BETTER OFF HANDLING HIM. 165 00:05:29,596 --> 00:05:31,196 IF YOU WANT ED TO TAKE YOU SERIOUSLY, 166 00:05:31,198 --> 00:05:33,131 YOU DON'T WANT YOUR DAD HANDLING THIS FOR YOU. 167 00:05:33,133 --> 00:05:34,132 YOU WANT TO TAKE CHARGE? 168 00:05:34,134 --> 00:05:35,233 TAKE CHARGE. 169 00:05:36,470 --> 00:05:38,003 DAD'S RIGHT. 170 00:05:38,005 --> 00:05:39,638 [ CHUCKLES ] 171 00:05:39,640 --> 00:05:40,839 AND YOU WONDER HOW COME 172 00:05:40,841 --> 00:05:43,241 SHE HAS SO MUCH PULL AROUND HERE. 173 00:05:45,946 --> 00:05:48,046 [ INDISTINCT CONVERSATIONS ] 174 00:05:51,385 --> 00:05:53,985 ARE YOU SURE I CAN'T TELL YOU WHAT KIND OF MEAT YOU JUST ATE? 175 00:05:53,987 --> 00:05:56,021 NOPE, NOPE, 'CAUSE I REALLY, REALLY ENJOYED IT. 176 00:05:57,057 --> 00:05:59,124 WAS IT IN "THE LION KING"? 177 00:05:59,126 --> 00:06:00,659 [ CHUCKLES ] HAD A BIG NUMBER IN THE FIRST ACT. 178 00:06:00,661 --> 00:06:01,827 OH, NO, PLEASE. 179 00:06:01,829 --> 00:06:02,861 STOP TALKING. JUST -- 180 00:06:02,863 --> 00:06:04,196 ALL RIGHT. HAKUNA MATATA. 181 00:06:04,198 --> 00:06:05,163 OHH! 182 00:06:05,165 --> 00:06:07,399 IT IS GOING GREAT. YES. 183 00:06:07,401 --> 00:06:10,068 WE ARE BOOKED SOLID, AND THERE IS A LINE OUTSIDE. 184 00:06:10,070 --> 00:06:11,670 IS THAT YOUR WAY OF SAYING YOU NEED THE TABLE? 185 00:06:11,672 --> 00:06:13,872 NO, ENJOY YOURSELVES. ORDER DESSERT... 186 00:06:13,874 --> 00:06:14,539 TO GO. 187 00:06:14,541 --> 00:06:15,540 [ CHUCKLES ] 188 00:06:15,542 --> 00:06:16,708 I COULDN'T POSSIBLY. 189 00:06:16,710 --> 00:06:18,243 I'M SO FULL FROM ALL THIS BREAD. 190 00:06:18,245 --> 00:06:20,245 IT'S SOME NIGHT, MIKEY. HEY. 191 00:06:20,247 --> 00:06:23,014 AH, VANESSA, YOU'RE ENJOYING THE BREAD, HUH? 192 00:06:23,016 --> 00:06:24,416 OH, YEAH, I AM. [ CHUCKLES ] 193 00:06:24,418 --> 00:06:26,718 WHAT HAPPENED TO THE BAIT BUCKETS? 194 00:06:26,720 --> 00:06:28,420 THE BUCKETS ON THE TABLE MADE IT LOOK LIKE 195 00:06:28,422 --> 00:06:31,356 THE ROOF WAS LEAKING, SO I WENT WITH BASKETS INSTEAD. 196 00:06:31,358 --> 00:06:33,225 THAT'S A LITTLE MIDDLE-OF-THE-ROAD, 197 00:06:33,227 --> 00:06:35,494 BUT IT'S ALWAYS SAFER TO DRIVE THERE, HUH? 198 00:06:35,496 --> 00:06:37,062 ACTUALLY, ED, IT'S NOT. 199 00:06:37,064 --> 00:06:38,730 WELL, LET'S GET GOING. 200 00:06:38,732 --> 00:06:41,266 WE GOT TO GET ON THE ROAD BEFORE ED DOES. 201 00:06:41,268 --> 00:06:44,035 SWEETIE, YOU'VE DONE A GREAT JOB. THANK YOU. 202 00:06:44,037 --> 00:06:46,571 AND IT LOOKS LIKE YOU FIGURED OUT A WAY TO DEAL WITH ED. 203 00:06:46,573 --> 00:06:48,073 NOW WE GIVE OUR VALET TICKET TO KYLE 204 00:06:48,075 --> 00:06:49,441 AND SEE WHAT CAR HE BRINGS US. 205 00:06:49,443 --> 00:06:50,609 [ LAUGHS ] 206 00:06:50,611 --> 00:06:53,211 YOU ORDERED THE ANTELOPE, HUH? 207 00:06:53,213 --> 00:06:55,781 A LITTLE TRICKY TO HUNT BECAUSE THEY'RE SO FAST. 208 00:06:55,783 --> 00:06:57,582 FORTUNATELY, BULLETS ARE FASTER. 209 00:06:57,584 --> 00:06:59,518 [ LAUGHS ] 210 00:06:59,520 --> 00:07:01,520 AND YOU'VE GOT THE QUAIL. 211 00:07:01,522 --> 00:07:03,288 BEAUTIFUL PLUMAGE. 212 00:07:03,290 --> 00:07:06,458 YEAH, YOU SHOULD HEAR THEM SQUAWK WHEN WE YANK THEM OUT. 213 00:07:06,460 --> 00:07:09,294 JUST KIDDING. WE TWIST OFF THE HEADS FIRST. 214 00:07:09,296 --> 00:07:11,863 IS EVERYTHING OKAY HERE? 215 00:07:11,865 --> 00:07:13,198 NO, IT'S CERTAINLY NOT. 216 00:07:13,200 --> 00:07:14,699 UH, WE NEED BREAD ON THE TABLE HERE. 217 00:07:14,701 --> 00:07:16,234 [ CHUCKLES ] 218 00:07:16,236 --> 00:07:18,136 UM, MAYBE THEY WOULD LIKE TO SAVE ROOM FOR DESSERT. 219 00:07:18,138 --> 00:07:21,640 HUGO. MORE BREAD FOR THESE LOVELY PEOPLE. 220 00:07:21,642 --> 00:07:22,874 EXCUSE US. 221 00:07:22,876 --> 00:07:24,443 CAN I TALK TO YOU FOR A MINUTE? 222 00:07:24,445 --> 00:07:25,877 YEAH. EXCUSE ME. 223 00:07:25,879 --> 00:07:28,647 MAKE IT QUICK. I HAVE A RESTAURANT TO RUN. 224 00:07:28,649 --> 00:07:31,116 DO NOT SEND HUGO TO DO SOMETHING 225 00:07:31,118 --> 00:07:32,651 WHEN I HAVE HIM CLEARING A TABLE. 226 00:07:32,653 --> 00:07:34,319 I HAVE AN EFFICIENT SYSTEM IN PLACE, 227 00:07:34,321 --> 00:07:36,488 AND YOU ARE GUMMING IT ALL UP WITH BREAD. 228 00:07:36,490 --> 00:07:38,990 PEOPLE ARE HAVING FUN, 229 00:07:38,992 --> 00:07:41,593 AND HAVING FUN IS MORE IMPORTANT THAN JUST EFFICIENCY. 230 00:07:41,595 --> 00:07:42,994 THE PEOPLE OUTSIDE 231 00:07:42,996 --> 00:07:44,563 WAITING FOR THAT TABLE MIGHT DISAGREE. 232 00:07:44,565 --> 00:07:45,997 I'M ON IT. 233 00:07:45,999 --> 00:07:49,167 HUGO, SOME BREAD FOR THE PEOPLE WAITING OUTSIDE. 234 00:07:49,169 --> 00:07:51,770 OH, HEY, MR. ALZATE. YOUR GUESTS HAVE ARRIVED. 235 00:07:51,772 --> 00:07:53,104 OH, THERE YOU [CHUCKLES] 236 00:07:53,106 --> 00:07:54,272 WELCOME, WELCOME, WELCOME. 237 00:07:54,274 --> 00:07:56,107 KRISTIN, GET THESE FOLKS A TABLE. 238 00:07:56,109 --> 00:07:57,676 DO THEY HAVE A RESERVATION? 239 00:07:57,678 --> 00:07:58,977 UH, THEY DON'T NEED A RESERVATION 240 00:07:58,979 --> 00:08:00,579 TO EAT AT MY RESTAURANT. 241 00:08:00,581 --> 00:08:03,315 THEY DO WHEN WE DON'T HAVE ANY PLACE TO SEAT THEM. 242 00:08:03,317 --> 00:08:05,116 ALL RIGHT. 243 00:08:05,118 --> 00:08:06,785 KYLE, UH, GET SOME CHAIRS AND TABLES FROM THE BACK. 244 00:08:06,787 --> 00:08:08,019 ALL RIGHT? JUST PUSH THEM TOGETHER. 245 00:08:08,021 --> 00:08:09,254 IT'LL BE A LITTLE CROWDED, BUT FUN. 246 00:08:09,256 --> 00:08:10,755 YOU KNOW, FAMILY-STYLE FUN. 247 00:08:10,757 --> 00:08:12,924 W-WE DON'T HAVE ENOUGH WAIT STAFF FOR EXTRA TABLES. 248 00:08:12,926 --> 00:08:14,192 I CAN FIX THAT. 249 00:08:14,194 --> 00:08:16,261 KYLE, YOU ARE NOW A WAITER. 250 00:08:16,263 --> 00:08:16,862 A WAITER? 251 00:08:16,864 --> 00:08:18,463 THANK YOU. 252 00:08:18,465 --> 00:08:21,166 I'VE ALWAYS WANTED TO SAY, "FRESH PEPPER, MADAME?" 253 00:08:21,168 --> 00:08:23,668 KYLE, YOU ARE NOT A WAITER. 254 00:08:23,670 --> 00:08:25,637 YOU'RE FIRING ME? 255 00:08:25,639 --> 00:08:27,305 CAN I AT LEAST FINISH MY SHIFT? 256 00:08:27,307 --> 00:08:30,275 I NEED YOU TO PARK CARS, KYLE. 257 00:08:30,277 --> 00:08:32,611 AND I NEED YOU TO STOP INTERFERING. 258 00:08:32,613 --> 00:08:34,479 YOU MAY BE THE BOSS AT OUTDOOR MAN, 259 00:08:34,481 --> 00:08:36,014 BUT YOU DON'T KNOW THE FIRST THING 260 00:08:36,016 --> 00:08:37,782 ABOUT RUNNING A RESTAURANT. I AM THE MANAGER, 261 00:08:37,784 --> 00:08:39,784 SO PLEASE GET OUT OF MY WAY, AND LET ME DO MY JOB. 262 00:08:40,821 --> 00:08:43,221 SO, I'M IN THE WAY, HUH? 263 00:08:43,223 --> 00:08:47,859 ALL RIGHT, WELL, THAT CAN EASILY BE RESOLVED. 264 00:08:51,665 --> 00:08:54,132 IT'S NOT RIGHT FOR YOU TO TALK TO MR. ALZATE THAT WAY. 265 00:08:54,134 --> 00:08:56,301 HE'S A GREAT MAN, AND HE DESERVES OUR RESPECT. 266 00:08:56,303 --> 00:08:59,471 I'M THE ONE NOT GETTING ANY RESPECT AROUND HERE, KYLE. 267 00:08:59,473 --> 00:09:01,239 MAYBE IT'S HARD FOR PEOPLE TO RESPECT YOU 268 00:09:01,241 --> 00:09:02,974 WHEN THE ONLY REASON YOU GOT THIS JOB 269 00:09:02,976 --> 00:09:04,042 IS BECAUSE OF YOUR DAD. 270 00:09:05,078 --> 00:09:06,645 OH, UH, AND BY THE WAY, 271 00:09:06,647 --> 00:09:08,680 APPLEBEE'S MIGHT BE CALLING YOU FOR A REFERENCE. 272 00:09:08,682 --> 00:09:10,248 I TRUST YOU'LL BE PROFESSIONAL. 273 00:09:17,658 --> 00:09:19,491 DID YOU LIKE THE LEFTOVER VENISON 274 00:09:19,493 --> 00:09:20,559 I PUT IN YOUR OMELET? 275 00:09:20,561 --> 00:09:21,393 YES, I DID. 276 00:09:21,395 --> 00:09:22,894 WOULD YOU GO SO FAR 277 00:09:22,896 --> 00:09:25,430 AS TO SAY IT WAS DEER-LICIOUS? 278 00:09:27,734 --> 00:09:29,501 NO, I-I WOULDN'T. 279 00:09:29,503 --> 00:09:32,938 AND I -- AND I WISH YOU WOULDN'T. 280 00:09:32,940 --> 00:09:35,040 WHAT ARE YOU GONNA DO ABOUT THIS BLOW-UP BETWEEN KRIS AND ED? 281 00:09:35,042 --> 00:09:36,207 I'M NOT GONNA DO ANYTHING ABOUT IT. 282 00:09:36,209 --> 00:09:37,742 NONE OF MY BUSINESS, YOU KNOW? 283 00:09:37,744 --> 00:09:40,178 THEY FIGHT IT OUT, AND MAYBE THEY'LL KILL EACH OTHER. 284 00:09:40,180 --> 00:09:42,013 WE OWN THE RESTAURANT. WE BECOME RICH. 285 00:09:42,015 --> 00:09:43,415 [ KNOCK ON DOOR ] 286 00:09:43,417 --> 00:09:45,684 YOU KNOW WHY I HATE FRENCH DOORS? 287 00:09:45,686 --> 00:09:47,352 YOU CAN'T PRETEND LIKE YOU'RE NOT HOME. 288 00:09:47,354 --> 00:09:48,620 Vanessa: COME ON IN, CAMMY. 289 00:09:48,622 --> 00:09:50,755 HI, MR. BAXTER. HI, MRS. BAXTER. 290 00:09:50,757 --> 00:09:52,524 IS EVE OKAY? BECAUSE I TEXTED HER A BUNCH OF TIMES, 291 00:09:52,526 --> 00:09:54,092 AND SHE DIDN'T TEXT BACK, SO I CALLED HER, 292 00:09:54,094 --> 00:09:55,627 AND SHE NEVER CALLED ME BACK. 293 00:09:55,629 --> 00:09:56,895 SO I CAME BY TO SEE IF SHE WAS HERE. IS SHE HERE? 294 00:09:56,897 --> 00:09:58,129 UH, YEAH, SHE'S HERE. 295 00:09:58,131 --> 00:09:59,297 YOU, UH -- YOU WANT SOME COFFEE? 296 00:09:59,299 --> 00:10:01,132 AAH! 297 00:10:02,269 --> 00:10:04,703 YOU KNOW THE BEST THING ABOUT HAVING A JOB? 298 00:10:04,705 --> 00:10:05,637 I GET TO LEAVE. 299 00:10:05,639 --> 00:10:07,572 I LOVE YOU, HONEY. 300 00:10:07,574 --> 00:10:10,909 OH, I LOVE YOU, TOO, MR. BAXTER. 301 00:10:10,911 --> 00:10:13,078 HE WAS PROBABLY TALKING TO YOU. 302 00:10:13,080 --> 00:10:14,779 YEAH. 303 00:10:14,781 --> 00:10:16,481 HEY. WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE? 304 00:10:16,483 --> 00:10:17,882 I BROUGHT YOU SOMETHING? 305 00:10:17,884 --> 00:10:21,386 WOW. A MUG WITH PICTURES OF US. 306 00:10:21,388 --> 00:10:22,387 MM-HMM. 307 00:10:22,389 --> 00:10:24,623 AT SCHOOL, AT SOCCER. 308 00:10:24,625 --> 00:10:26,424 HUH. I DON'T REMEMBER THAT ONE. 309 00:10:26,426 --> 00:10:28,393 OH, UH, I DIDN'T HAVE ONE OF US HUGGING, 310 00:10:28,395 --> 00:10:30,629 SO I PASTED YOUR FACE OVER MY MOM'S. 311 00:10:32,099 --> 00:10:33,765 THAT IS SO GREAT. 312 00:10:33,767 --> 00:10:37,569 EVE, YOU ARE SO LUCKY TO HAVE A GIRLFRIEND LIKE CAMMY. 313 00:10:37,571 --> 00:10:39,638 Y-YOU KNOW, BOYS MAY COME AND GO, 314 00:10:39,640 --> 00:10:42,207 BUT I FEEL LIKE YOU GUYS ARE GONNA BE TOGETHER FOREVER. 315 00:10:43,276 --> 00:10:46,077 JUST BACKPACKING ACROSS EUROPE, 316 00:10:46,079 --> 00:10:49,147 MAYBE SHARING AN APARTMENT TOGETHER. 317 00:10:50,283 --> 00:10:52,450 THAT WOULD BE GREAT! [ CHUCKLES ] 318 00:10:52,452 --> 00:10:53,752 YOU'RE GONNA NEED ANOTHER TRAVEL MUG 319 00:10:53,754 --> 00:10:55,320 FOR ALL THOSE MEMORIES YOU MAKE. 320 00:10:57,791 --> 00:10:59,357 OH, UH, I FORGOT THE BEST PART. 321 00:10:59,359 --> 00:11:00,659 LOOK INSIDE. 322 00:11:00,661 --> 00:11:03,495 OKAY. 323 00:11:03,497 --> 00:11:04,629 WOW. 324 00:11:04,631 --> 00:11:06,164 TICKETS TO ED SHEERAN. 325 00:11:06,166 --> 00:11:07,832 YEAH, HE'S PLAYING THE PEPSI CENTER ON SATURDAY. 326 00:11:07,834 --> 00:11:09,501 I KNOW YOU REALLY LIKE HIM, SO... 327 00:11:09,503 --> 00:11:11,169 YEAH, I DO. 328 00:11:11,171 --> 00:11:12,704 UM... SO, IT'S A DATE? 329 00:11:16,209 --> 00:11:18,009 WHAT'S WRONG? 330 00:11:18,011 --> 00:11:21,546 UM... I-I DON'T WANT TO GO. 331 00:11:21,548 --> 00:11:23,181 YOU...DON'T WANT TO GO, 332 00:11:23,183 --> 00:11:26,151 BUT [CHUCKLES] I GOT THE TICKETS FOR YOU...FOR US. 333 00:11:26,153 --> 00:11:28,453 I-I JUST DON'T WANT TO GO WITH YOU, OKAY? 334 00:11:28,455 --> 00:11:30,055 I MEAN, WE SEE EACH OTHER A LOT, 335 00:11:30,057 --> 00:11:31,723 AND I HAVE OTHER FRIENDS 336 00:11:31,725 --> 00:11:33,792 THAT DON'T MAKE WEIRD MUGS OF US HANGING OUT TOGETHER. 337 00:11:34,728 --> 00:11:36,828 UH, I THOUGHT YOU'D LIKE IT. 338 00:11:36,830 --> 00:11:39,898 WELL, YOU PUT MY FACE ON YOUR MOM'S BODY, 339 00:11:39,900 --> 00:11:42,200 AND SHE'S WEARING A BIKINI. 340 00:11:43,737 --> 00:11:46,304 IT'S JUST ALL KINDS OF WRONG. 341 00:11:47,741 --> 00:11:50,008 I'M SORRY IF I MADE YOU UNCOMFORTABLE. 342 00:11:50,010 --> 00:11:52,143 JUST, UM, KEEP THE TICKETS. 343 00:11:52,145 --> 00:11:53,144 WAIT, NO, NO, NO, NO. 344 00:11:53,146 --> 00:11:54,412 YOU -- YOU BOUGHT THEM. 345 00:11:54,414 --> 00:11:55,880 YOU MUST HAVE SOMEONE ELSE YOU CAN TAKE. 346 00:11:55,882 --> 00:11:57,315 NOT REALLY. 347 00:11:57,317 --> 00:11:59,050 I DON'T EVEN LIKE ED SHEERAN. 348 00:11:59,052 --> 00:12:00,418 I JUST LIKE THAT YOU DID. 349 00:12:00,420 --> 00:12:02,554 OH, AND I WOULDN'T THINK IT WAS WEIRD 350 00:12:02,556 --> 00:12:05,657 IF YOU PUT MY HEAD ON YOUR MOM'S BODY. YEAH. 351 00:12:05,659 --> 00:12:08,293 IT'D BE AN HONOR. 352 00:12:13,200 --> 00:12:14,532 HEY. 353 00:12:14,534 --> 00:12:17,402 DAD, I TOLD YOU NOT TO LET HIM WATCH TV. 354 00:12:17,404 --> 00:12:19,671 HE'S NOT WATCHING TV. HE'S SLEEPING. 355 00:12:20,674 --> 00:12:21,740 HE FELL ASLEEP... 356 00:12:21,742 --> 00:12:22,874 WATCHING TV. 357 00:12:22,876 --> 00:12:25,677 AH, YOU MADE HIM WATCH PBS? 358 00:12:25,679 --> 00:12:27,212 THAT'S RIGHT. 359 00:12:27,214 --> 00:12:29,848 PUT HIM OUT QUICKER THAN BENADRYL IN HIS PUDDING. 360 00:12:31,184 --> 00:12:32,250 I ASSUME. 361 00:12:33,920 --> 00:12:35,520 I SAW THE RECEIPTS FROM THE RESTAURANT. 362 00:12:35,522 --> 00:12:37,055 YOU'RE HAVING A GREAT WEEK, HONEY. 363 00:12:37,057 --> 00:12:39,257 YEAH, WE ARE REALLY SETTLING INTO A NICE RHYTHM. 364 00:12:39,259 --> 00:12:40,358 AH! BIG TANKS ARE MINE! 365 00:12:40,360 --> 00:12:42,794 THOSE ARE MINE! OKAY. 366 00:12:42,796 --> 00:12:45,530 IT HELPS THAT ED ISN'T THERE COMPING DRINKS 367 00:12:45,532 --> 00:12:47,098 AND TRAPPING PEOPLE AT THEIR TABLES 368 00:12:47,100 --> 00:12:48,733 WITH HIS ENDLESS STORIES. 369 00:12:48,735 --> 00:12:50,769 TRUST ME, HIS STORIES AREN'T ENDLESS. 370 00:12:50,771 --> 00:12:53,905 THEY'RE ALL GONNA END IN ABOUT FOUR OR FIVE YEARS. 371 00:12:53,907 --> 00:12:57,442 HE GAVE AWAY $200 WORTH OF APPETIZERS THAT FIRST NIGHT. 372 00:12:57,444 --> 00:13:01,212 HE'S LIKE THE OBAMA OF CALAMARI. 373 00:13:01,214 --> 00:13:03,381 HE FIGURES EVERYBODY SHOULD GET IT, 374 00:13:03,383 --> 00:13:06,351 EVEN IF THEY'RE TOO LAZY TO ORDER IT FOR THEMSELVES. 375 00:13:07,320 --> 00:13:08,987 ARE YOU COMPARING ED TO OBAMA 376 00:13:08,989 --> 00:13:10,755 TO TRY AND GET ME TO TAKE HIM BACK? 377 00:13:10,757 --> 00:13:12,056 I'M JUST SAYING 378 00:13:12,058 --> 00:13:13,591 ED HAS ALWAYS BEEN INTO CUSTOMER SERVICE. 379 00:13:13,593 --> 00:13:15,460 IT'S A GOOD THING -- SHAKING HANDS, TELLING STORIES. 380 00:13:15,462 --> 00:13:17,295 TURN YOUR FRIENDS INTO CUSTOMERS. 381 00:13:17,297 --> 00:13:19,497 CUSTOMERS INTO FRIENDS -- AND THE BEST KIND OF FRIENDS -- 382 00:13:19,499 --> 00:13:21,800 GIVE YOU MONEY AND WALK AWAY. 383 00:13:23,069 --> 00:13:25,436 SO, YOU THINK I WAS WRONG TO GET HIM TO BUTT OUT? 384 00:13:25,438 --> 00:13:28,239 I THINK ED HAS SOMETHING TO OFFER THE RESTAURANT 385 00:13:28,241 --> 00:13:30,008 BESIDES THE AFFORDABLE CALAMARI ACT. 386 00:13:31,778 --> 00:13:33,611 BUT, HONEY, ULTIMATELY, YOU'RE THE MANAGER. 387 00:13:33,613 --> 00:13:34,779 YOU GOT TO MAKE THAT CALL. 388 00:13:34,781 --> 00:13:36,347 OKAY, WELL, IF IT'S MY CALL, 389 00:13:36,349 --> 00:13:38,650 I-I THINK WE'RE DOING BETTER WITHOUT HIM. 390 00:13:39,920 --> 00:13:41,119 THERE YOU GO. 391 00:13:41,121 --> 00:13:42,253 GOT TO GET UP. 392 00:13:42,255 --> 00:13:43,354 [ SIGHS ] HE'S REALLY OUT. 393 00:13:43,356 --> 00:13:44,756 YOU WERE JOKING 394 00:13:44,758 --> 00:13:46,825 ABOUT THE BENADRYL IN THE PUDDING, RIGHT? 395 00:13:46,827 --> 00:13:49,661 YEAH, I-I -- YEAH. 396 00:13:51,798 --> 00:13:52,530 HEY. 397 00:13:52,532 --> 00:13:53,698 HEY. 398 00:13:53,700 --> 00:13:54,933 ARMY PRACTICE WENT LATE TONIGHT. 399 00:13:54,935 --> 00:13:56,835 WE EXPECTING A BIG WAR? 400 00:13:56,837 --> 00:13:59,838 I WISH. 401 00:13:59,840 --> 00:14:00,872 JUST NIGHT MANEUVERS. 402 00:14:00,874 --> 00:14:02,473 [ CHUCKLES ] NIGHT MANEUVERS. 403 00:14:02,475 --> 00:14:04,309 I USED TO ENJOY THOSE WHEN I WAS IN HIGH SCHOOL. 404 00:14:04,311 --> 00:14:09,147 YEAH, BUT I SURE AS HELL DIDN'T DRESS LIKE THAT FOR THEM. 405 00:14:09,149 --> 00:14:11,983 LOOK, I THINK YOU MIGHT BE RIGHT ABOUT CAMMY. 406 00:14:11,985 --> 00:14:14,786 DUH! SAW YOUR LITTLE LOVE MUG. 407 00:14:14,788 --> 00:14:17,188 MANDY, IT WAS SO AWKWARD. 408 00:14:17,190 --> 00:14:19,324 SHE ASKED ME TO THIS CONCERT, BUT I SAID NO. 409 00:14:19,326 --> 00:14:20,825 AND NOW SHE WON'T TALK TO ME. 410 00:14:20,827 --> 00:14:22,360 [ SCOFFS ] BREAK-UPS ARE HARD. 411 00:14:22,362 --> 00:14:24,562 OKAY, THIS ISN'T FUNNY. 412 00:14:24,564 --> 00:14:26,664 I'VE KNOWN CAMMY SINCE KINDERGARTEN, 413 00:14:26,666 --> 00:14:28,566 AND I STILL WANT TO BE HER FRIEND. 414 00:14:28,568 --> 00:14:30,168 ALL RIGHT. 415 00:14:30,170 --> 00:14:33,872 WELL, I'M SURE YOU SAID EVERYTHING THAT YOU NEEDED TO -- 416 00:14:33,874 --> 00:14:36,307 THAT YOU'RE NOT INTERESTED, BUT YOU STILL CARE ABOUT HER. 417 00:14:36,309 --> 00:14:38,343 YOU'LL SUPPORT HER NO MATTER WHAT, ET CETERA. 418 00:14:38,345 --> 00:14:41,713 I MAY HAVE SKIPPED OVER THE CARING AND SUPPORTING PART. 419 00:14:41,715 --> 00:14:44,682 LOOK, I'VE BEEN IN YOUR SHOES A MILLION TIMES BEFORE. 420 00:14:44,684 --> 00:14:46,017 NOT THOSE SHOES. 421 00:14:46,019 --> 00:14:47,218 [ Laughing ] THOSE MIGHT BE THE REASON 422 00:14:47,220 --> 00:14:48,453 WHY GIRLS ARE HITTING ON YOU. 423 00:14:50,757 --> 00:14:52,924 THE THING IS, WHEN A FRIEND HAS A CRUSH ON YOU, 424 00:14:52,926 --> 00:14:54,826 YOU KIND OF WANT TO LET THEM DOWN EASY. 425 00:14:54,828 --> 00:14:56,160 DO YOU THINK THERE'S A CHANCE 426 00:14:56,162 --> 00:14:57,362 THAT CAMMY AND I CAN STILL BE FRIENDS? 427 00:14:57,364 --> 00:14:58,997 YEAH, TOTALLY. 428 00:14:58,999 --> 00:15:01,165 I'M FRIENDS WITH TONS OF PEOPLE I'VE REJECTED, 429 00:15:01,167 --> 00:15:06,371 LIKE, UM, TYLER, KEVIN, CONNOR, UH, JENNIFER. 430 00:15:06,373 --> 00:15:09,574 UM, ETHAN, MR. JENSON -- 431 00:15:09,576 --> 00:15:11,042 MR. JENSON? WAIT. WHAT? OH. 432 00:15:11,044 --> 00:15:13,611 NO, NOT THE SCIENCE TEACHER. DON'T BE GROSS. 433 00:15:13,613 --> 00:15:15,613 NO, I'M TALKING ABOUT BECCA'S DAD. 434 00:15:25,392 --> 00:15:27,792 HONEY, YOU WANT TO ORDER A FEW PLATES TO SHARE? 435 00:15:27,794 --> 00:15:30,728 OR I COULD JUST ORDER WHAT I WANT AND EAT ALL OF IT. 436 00:15:30,730 --> 00:15:33,798 OR YOU COULD JUST BE NICE FOR ONCE. 437 00:15:33,800 --> 00:15:37,602 WHICH ONE OF THOSE GETS ME MORE SHRIMP? 438 00:15:37,604 --> 00:15:38,202 HEY. 439 00:15:38,204 --> 00:15:39,404 HEY. 440 00:15:39,406 --> 00:15:40,371 SORRY I HAVEN'T CHECKED IN. 441 00:15:40,373 --> 00:15:41,773 WE ARE SWAMPED. YEAH. 442 00:15:41,775 --> 00:15:44,409 I HAVE HAD TO BUS TABLES, RUN CREDIT CARDS. 443 00:15:44,411 --> 00:15:47,078 SOME OLD GUY ASKED ME TO BLOW ON HIS SOUP, 444 00:15:47,080 --> 00:15:49,981 WHICH MIGHT BE A GOOD REASON TO RETIRE THIS TOP. 445 00:15:49,983 --> 00:15:51,816 YOU WANT ME TO PUNCH HIM? 446 00:15:51,818 --> 00:15:54,118 YOU SAID HE WAS OLD, RIGHT? 447 00:15:54,120 --> 00:15:56,955 EXCUSE ME. 448 00:15:56,957 --> 00:15:58,122 ARE YOU THE MANAGER? 449 00:15:58,124 --> 00:15:59,724 SURE AM. HOW CAN I HELP YOU? 450 00:15:59,726 --> 00:16:01,592 COULD YOU TELL ME ABOUT THE ELK? 451 00:16:01,594 --> 00:16:02,593 WONDERFUL CHOICE. 452 00:16:02,595 --> 00:16:04,128 IT'S A MARINATED STRIP STEAK 453 00:16:04,130 --> 00:16:05,897 SERVED IN A RED-WINE REDUCTION. 454 00:16:05,899 --> 00:16:09,567 NO, I MEAN HOW DID IT DIE? 455 00:16:09,569 --> 00:16:11,569 I'M...SORRY? 456 00:16:11,571 --> 00:16:13,271 THE LAST TIME WE WERE HERE, 457 00:16:13,273 --> 00:16:15,773 THE OTHER MANAGER TOLD US A COLORFUL STORY 458 00:16:15,775 --> 00:16:17,942 ABOUT OSTRICH HUNTING IN SENEGAL. 459 00:16:17,944 --> 00:16:19,077 I LOVED IT. 460 00:16:19,079 --> 00:16:20,745 HERB THOUGHT IT WAS A BIT DRY. 461 00:16:20,747 --> 00:16:22,747 THE STORY OR THE OSTRICH? [ CHUCKLES ] 462 00:16:22,749 --> 00:16:23,948 THE OSTRICH. 463 00:16:23,950 --> 00:16:25,850 THE STORY WAS WHY WE CAME BACK. 464 00:16:25,852 --> 00:16:28,619 COULD YOU EXCUSE ME A MINUTE? [ CHUCKLES ] 465 00:16:28,621 --> 00:16:30,254 DAD. QUICK. 466 00:16:30,256 --> 00:16:31,456 UH, HOW DO YOU KILL AN ELK? 467 00:16:31,458 --> 00:16:33,091 OH, ALL RIGHT. 468 00:16:33,093 --> 00:16:34,993 YOU WANT TO WAIT OUTSIDE THE LODGE UNTIL LAST CALL, 469 00:16:34,995 --> 00:16:36,427 THEN HIT HIM WITH A TIRE IRON. 470 00:16:36,429 --> 00:16:38,029 NO. 471 00:16:38,031 --> 00:16:40,298 APPARENTLY, ED TOLD THIS LADY ONE OF HIS HUNTING STORIES, 472 00:16:40,300 --> 00:16:42,333 AND NOW SHE WANTS ANOTHER ONE. 473 00:16:42,335 --> 00:16:43,935 SORRY, TONIGHT, I'M JUST A CUSTOMER. 474 00:16:43,937 --> 00:16:45,837 YOU KNOW, ONCE I KILLED A YELLOW JACKET 475 00:16:45,839 --> 00:16:48,506 WITH A ROLLED-UP NEWSPAPER, YOU KNOW, IF THAT HELPS. 476 00:16:48,508 --> 00:16:49,907 IT DOESN'T. 477 00:16:51,177 --> 00:16:52,977 HONEY, YOU'VE HUNTED ELK. WHY DON'T YOU HELP HER? 478 00:16:52,979 --> 00:16:54,045 I AM HELPING HER. 479 00:16:54,047 --> 00:16:55,680 OH, I KNOW. 480 00:16:55,682 --> 00:16:57,181 YOU'RE DOING YOUR "HELPING BY NOT HELPING" THING? 481 00:16:57,183 --> 00:16:58,783 IS THAT IT? YEAH? 482 00:16:58,785 --> 00:17:00,284 THAT'S KIND OF HOW YOU HELPED ME RAISE THE KIDS. 483 00:17:00,286 --> 00:17:03,888 LOOK, IN A GOOD PUPPET SHOW, YOU DON'T SEE THE STRINGS. 484 00:17:05,291 --> 00:17:07,358 RIGHT THIS WAY. 485 00:17:07,360 --> 00:17:08,826 HOW DID YOU HEAR ABOUT US? 486 00:17:08,828 --> 00:17:10,528 A REVIEW IN THE DENVER POST. 487 00:17:10,530 --> 00:17:12,864 OH, I THOUGHT THAT WASN'T COMING OUT TILL TOMORROW. 488 00:17:12,866 --> 00:17:15,833 IT'S ONLINE TONIGHT, AND THEY'RE VERY COMPLIMENTARY. 489 00:17:15,835 --> 00:17:18,369 OH, WONDERFUL. ENJOY YOUR MEAL. 490 00:17:19,672 --> 00:17:21,005 DAD. 491 00:17:21,007 --> 00:17:22,974 WE GOT OUR FIRST REVIEW. OOH, WHAT IS IT? 492 00:17:22,976 --> 00:17:24,909 DON'T WORRY ABOUT WHAT THE FOOD SNOBS THINK, OKAY? 493 00:17:24,911 --> 00:17:26,344 THEY LOVED US. YAY! 494 00:17:26,346 --> 00:17:28,546 VERY OFTEN, THEY'RE -- THEY'RE RIGHT ON TARGET. 495 00:17:28,548 --> 00:17:30,815 "GREAT FOOD, GREAT SERVICE, 496 00:17:30,817 --> 00:17:32,550 BUT THE HIGHLIGHT WAS THE PERSONAL TOUCH 497 00:17:32,552 --> 00:17:35,486 PROVIDED BY OWNER ED ALZATE 498 00:17:35,488 --> 00:17:39,390 REGALING PATRONS WITH HIS TALES OF HUNTING AND ADVENTURE. 499 00:17:39,392 --> 00:17:42,360 FELT LIKE DINNER WITH A FAVORITE UNCLE. 500 00:17:42,362 --> 00:17:44,929 FLAWLESS EXPERIENCE ALL AROUND." 501 00:17:44,931 --> 00:17:47,365 WELL, THEY PROBABLY DIDN'T VALET-PARK. 502 00:17:47,367 --> 00:17:50,435 THAT'S GREAT, HONEY. CONGRATULATIONS. 503 00:17:50,437 --> 00:17:51,169 YEAH. 504 00:17:55,341 --> 00:17:56,541 MR. ALZATE? 505 00:17:56,543 --> 00:17:57,708 YES? 506 00:17:57,710 --> 00:17:59,510 HEY, UH, ONE OF OUR CUSTOMERS 507 00:17:59,512 --> 00:18:01,879 WANTS TO HEAR A STORY ABOUT HUNTING ELK, 508 00:18:01,881 --> 00:18:03,748 AND I DON'T KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT THAT. 509 00:18:03,750 --> 00:18:05,683 COULD YOU HELP ME OUT? 510 00:18:05,685 --> 00:18:08,920 WELL, YOU SURE I WOULDN'T BE IN YOUR WAY? 511 00:18:08,922 --> 00:18:11,389 NO. I WOULD REALLY APPRECIATE IT. 512 00:18:11,391 --> 00:18:12,857 DO YOU HAVE A MINUTE? 513 00:18:12,859 --> 00:18:16,561 IT'LL TAKE 20 MINUTES TO DO THE STORY JUSTICE, 514 00:18:16,563 --> 00:18:18,362 30 IF I SHOW MY SCARS. 515 00:18:18,364 --> 00:18:21,032 UHHH...LET'S DO THE 20-MINUTE VERSION. 516 00:18:21,034 --> 00:18:22,533 YOU'RE THE MANAGER. 517 00:18:22,535 --> 00:18:26,170 BUT IF I NEED A BIG FINISH, THE SHIRT'S COMING OFF. 518 00:18:28,441 --> 00:18:31,709 HELLO, HELLO, HELLO. I'M ED ALZATE, THE OWNER. 519 00:18:33,713 --> 00:18:35,279 [ DOORBELL RINGS ] 520 00:18:43,656 --> 00:18:45,089 HI, CAMMY. 521 00:18:45,091 --> 00:18:46,591 EVE, RIGHT? [ CHUCKLES ] 522 00:18:46,593 --> 00:18:49,193 I RECOGNIZE YOU FROM A MUG I WASTED 10 HOURS ON. 523 00:18:50,897 --> 00:18:52,096 WHAT DO YOU WANT? 524 00:18:52,098 --> 00:18:53,831 [ SIGHS ] 525 00:18:53,833 --> 00:18:56,067 YOU'RE IGNORING ME AT SCHOOL, AND YOU WON'T TAKE MY CALLS. 526 00:18:56,069 --> 00:18:59,303 AND TO YOU, THAT MEANS, "PLEASE COME OVER"? 527 00:18:59,305 --> 00:19:02,740 LOOK, I -- I JUST WANTED TO SAY THANK YOU 528 00:19:02,742 --> 00:19:04,475 FOR THE ED SHEERAN TICKETS. 529 00:19:04,477 --> 00:19:06,410 I'M ON MY WAY TO THE SHOW NOW. 530 00:19:06,412 --> 00:19:08,346 HAVE A GOOD TIME. 531 00:19:08,348 --> 00:19:10,481 AND I WAS HOPING TO TAKE A REALLY GOOD FRIEND, 532 00:19:10,483 --> 00:19:12,450 SOMEONE I'VE KNOWN SINCE KINDERGARTEN 533 00:19:12,452 --> 00:19:15,119 WHO REALLY MEANS A LOT TO ME 534 00:19:15,121 --> 00:19:19,924 AND I DIDN'T REALIZE HOW MUCH UNTIL I TREATED HER BADLY. 535 00:19:19,926 --> 00:19:21,792 I GUESS I SHOULD FEEL BETTER 536 00:19:21,794 --> 00:19:24,095 I'M NOT THE ONLY ONE YOU DID THAT TO. 537 00:19:24,097 --> 00:19:26,030 I'M TALKING ABOUT YOU, IDIOT. 538 00:19:26,032 --> 00:19:27,598 I'M TRYING TO APOLOGIZE. 539 00:19:27,600 --> 00:19:28,699 I KNOW. 540 00:19:28,701 --> 00:19:30,668 I'M JUST MAKING YOU WORK FOR IT. 541 00:19:30,670 --> 00:19:32,436 LOOK, I DON'T KNOW WHAT'S GOING ON WITH YOU 542 00:19:32,438 --> 00:19:34,872 ABOUT GUYS OR GIRLS OR...WHATEVER. 543 00:19:34,874 --> 00:19:38,209 I MIGHT BE BETTER IF I WENT WITH "WHATEVER." 544 00:19:38,211 --> 00:19:42,713 I JUST WANT YOU TO KNOW THAT NONE OF THAT MATTERS TO ME. 545 00:19:42,715 --> 00:19:44,882 I WANT TO BE YOUR FRIEND NO MATTER WHAT. 546 00:19:46,152 --> 00:19:47,585 I WANT THAT, TOO. 547 00:19:48,288 --> 00:19:49,387 COOL. 548 00:19:49,389 --> 00:19:51,722 SO, SHOULD WE GO TO THE CONCERT? 549 00:19:51,724 --> 00:19:52,857 I HAVE TO CHANGE. 550 00:19:52,859 --> 00:19:55,560 NO, CAMMY, I ACCEPT YOU AS YOU ARE. 551 00:19:57,830 --> 00:19:59,463 I MEAN MY CLOTHES, IDIOT. 552 00:19:59,465 --> 00:20:01,899 I KNOW. I'M JUST MAKING YOU WORK FOR IT. 553 00:20:10,510 --> 00:20:12,076 NEXT TIME, TRY THE SALMON, 554 00:20:12,078 --> 00:20:13,878 AND I'LL TELL YOU A GREAT STORY 555 00:20:13,880 --> 00:20:15,846 HOW I WRESTLED ONE AWAY FROM A BEAR. 556 00:20:15,848 --> 00:20:17,181 OR TRY THE BEAR, 557 00:20:17,183 --> 00:20:18,683 AND I'LL TELL YOU THE SAME STORY. 558 00:20:18,685 --> 00:20:20,885 [ LAUGHS ] 559 00:20:20,887 --> 00:20:21,819 OHH. 560 00:20:21,821 --> 00:20:23,254 [ CHUCKLES ] [ SIGHS ] 561 00:20:23,256 --> 00:20:26,023 WE HAD A REALLY GOOD NIGHT, PARTNER. 562 00:20:26,025 --> 00:20:28,059 THAT'S GREAT, 'CAUSE I'M RUNNING OUT OF HUNTING STORIES. 563 00:20:28,061 --> 00:20:30,194 EARLIER TONIGHT, I STARTED STEALING FROM HEMINGWAY. 564 00:20:30,196 --> 00:20:31,362 [ CHUCKLES ] 565 00:20:31,364 --> 00:20:33,364 HEY, MR. ALZATE? YEAH? 566 00:20:33,366 --> 00:20:35,032 UH, CAN I CLOSE UP THE VALET STAND NOW? 567 00:20:35,034 --> 00:20:36,867 ALL THE CARS ARE GONE. OH, AND GOOD NEWS -- 568 00:20:36,869 --> 00:20:39,103 THIS TIME, NO KEYS LEFT OVER. 569 00:20:39,105 --> 00:20:43,341 FROM NOW ON, DIRECT ALL YOUR QUESTIONS TO THE BOSS. 570 00:20:43,343 --> 00:20:45,443 YOU MEAN THE PERSON WHO ONLY GOT HER FANCY JOB 571 00:20:45,445 --> 00:20:47,044 BECAUSE SHE'S RELATED TO SOMEONE? 572 00:20:47,046 --> 00:20:48,713 NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO. 573 00:20:48,715 --> 00:20:51,282 YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT A FIRST-RATE MANAGER, ALL RIGHT, 574 00:20:51,284 --> 00:20:52,617 THAT WE'RE LUCKY TO HAVE, 575 00:20:52,619 --> 00:20:55,186 WHOSE JUDGMENT I'VE COME TO RESPECT, 576 00:20:55,188 --> 00:20:58,956 ESPECIALLY SINCE SHE RECOGNIZED THE VALUE OF MY ADVICE. 577 00:20:58,958 --> 00:21:00,091 [ CHUCKLES ] 578 00:21:00,093 --> 00:21:02,126 I'M SORRY, KRISTIN. 579 00:21:02,128 --> 00:21:03,761 I MEAN, MISS B. 580 00:21:03,763 --> 00:21:05,396 IT'S OKAY, KYLE. 581 00:21:05,398 --> 00:21:07,064 GO AHEAD AND CLOSE UP THE STAND. 582 00:21:07,066 --> 00:21:08,633 ALL RIGHT. 583 00:21:08,635 --> 00:21:11,469 HEY, THANK YOU FOR COMING BACK, ED. 584 00:21:11,471 --> 00:21:13,971 AND FOR NOT MAKING ME EAT CROW. 585 00:21:13,973 --> 00:21:15,706 YOU'RE NOT MISSING ANYTHING. 586 00:21:15,708 --> 00:21:17,375 IT TASTES JUST LIKE SEA GULL. 42117

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