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1
00:00:03,804 --> 00:00:05,504
HONEY,
DON'T YOU WANT ANY BACON?
2
00:00:05,506 --> 00:00:07,373
DADDY SAYS
WHEN WE EAT BACON,
3
00:00:07,375 --> 00:00:10,709
WE CONTRIBUTE TO THE GENOCIDE
OF A VERY INTELLIGENT ANIMAL.
4
00:00:10,711 --> 00:00:12,277
WHEN A PIG CAN SPELL
THE WORD "GENOCIDE,"
5
00:00:12,279 --> 00:00:13,979
I'LL STOP EATING THEM.
[ CHUCKLES ]
6
00:00:13,981 --> 00:00:15,647
A PIG COULD WRITE AN OP-ED
IN THE NEW YORK TIMES,
7
00:00:15,649 --> 00:00:17,616
AND YOU
WOULD STILL EAT HIM.
8
00:00:17,618 --> 00:00:21,420
AND I WOULD HAVE SOMETHING
TO WRAP UP MY LEFTOVERS IN.
HMM.
9
00:00:22,790 --> 00:00:24,456
MORNING, FAM.
YOU ALL REMEMBER JENNA?
Vanessa: HEY.
10
00:00:24,458 --> 00:00:25,491
HI, JENNA.
HI, JENNA.
11
00:00:25,493 --> 00:00:27,359
HOW WAS BRUNCH?
12
00:00:27,361 --> 00:00:29,962
GREAT. HOPEFULLY MY LAST
WITHOUT A BOTTOMLESS MIMOSA.
YEAH?
13
00:00:29,964 --> 00:00:31,296
OH, THAT'S RIGHT!
14
00:00:31,298 --> 00:00:32,898
THE BIG 21
IS RIGHT AROUND THE CORNER.
15
00:00:32,900 --> 00:00:35,634
YEAH, I CAN FINALLY GET
IN A CLUB
16
00:00:35,636 --> 00:00:38,070
WITHOUT
A FAKE I.D...EA
17
00:00:38,072 --> 00:00:40,672
OF WHAT NIGHTCLUBS
ARE REALLY LIKE.
18
00:00:40,674 --> 00:00:42,674
I AM GONNA MISS ALL THESE
PATHETIC, LITTLE LIES.
19
00:00:42,676 --> 00:00:44,176
Mike:
THE LYING WILL CONTINUE.
20
00:00:44,178 --> 00:00:46,845
IT WILL JUST BE FUNNIER
BECAUSE SHE'LL BE LOADED.
21
00:00:46,847 --> 00:00:50,582
I AM SO LOOKING FORWARD
TO YOUR BIRTHDAY!
22
00:00:50,584 --> 00:00:52,918
OH.
I HAVE BEEN SPENDING WAY
TOO MUCH TIME IN MOMMY LAND,
23
00:00:52,920 --> 00:00:54,753
SO, PLEASE, HAVE A REAL BIG
BLOWOUT, LIKE --
24
00:00:54,755 --> 00:00:57,923
[ GASPS ] LIKE THAT FANCY BALL
IN "FROZEN."
25
00:00:57,925 --> 00:01:00,159
OH, MY GOD,
IT MIGHT BE TOO LATE FOR ME.
26
00:01:00,161 --> 00:01:01,527
COME ON, KID.
LET'S GO.
27
00:01:01,529 --> 00:01:03,262
CAN WE WATCH
"FROZEN" AGAIN?
28
00:01:03,264 --> 00:01:05,931
I WILL GIVE YOU $1,000
IF WE DON'T.
29
00:01:05,933 --> 00:01:07,499
BYE.
BYE.
30
00:01:07,501 --> 00:01:09,701
SPEAKING OF MONEY, SO...
31
00:01:09,703 --> 00:01:11,437
WE GOT TO START TALKING
ABOUT MY PARTY.
32
00:01:11,439 --> 00:01:13,005
WANT TO GIVE YOU GUYS
PLENTY OF TIME
33
00:01:13,007 --> 00:01:14,840
IN CASE YOU NEED TO
LIQUIFY SOME ASSETS, OKAY?
34
00:01:14,842 --> 00:01:17,409
HONEY, HOW LONG WOULD IT TAKE
TO LIQUIFY A $20 BILL?
35
00:01:18,712 --> 00:01:20,345
SO FUNNY --
FOR JENNA'S BIRTHDAY,
36
00:01:20,347 --> 00:01:22,214
HER DAD IS FLYING HER
AND HER 12 FRIENDS
37
00:01:22,216 --> 00:01:24,283
OUT TO THE COACHELLA
MUSIC FESTIVAL.
38
00:01:24,285 --> 00:01:27,086
OOH, AND THEY WANT TO ADOPT YOU?
WHERE DO WE SIGN?
39
00:01:27,088 --> 00:01:29,088
MY DAD'S JUST DOING IT
40
00:01:29,090 --> 00:01:30,422
TO SHOW UP MY MOM
AND HER NEW BOYFRIEND.
41
00:01:30,424 --> 00:01:31,890
YEAH, WHO ARE
NOW BUYING JENNA
42
00:01:31,892 --> 00:01:33,792
A BRAND-NEW ESCALADE
TO SHOW HIM UP.
43
00:01:33,794 --> 00:01:36,128
THEY SAY IN DIVORCE,
IT'S THE KIDS WHO SUFFER,
44
00:01:36,130 --> 00:01:38,430
BUT WE DO OKAY.
YEAH.
45
00:01:38,432 --> 00:01:40,299
TRAGICALLY, MANDY'S PARENTS
ARE HAPPILY MARRIED,
46
00:01:40,301 --> 00:01:41,934
SO I DON'T HAVE TO DO STUFF
TO IMPRESS HER.
47
00:01:41,936 --> 00:01:45,270
MM, AND HE'S DOING
A HELL OF A JOB.
48
00:01:45,272 --> 00:01:47,272
SORRY YOUR FOLKS
STILL LOVE EACH OTHER.
49
00:01:47,274 --> 00:01:50,342
ENJOY YOUR ONE HOUSE.
THANK YOU.
50
00:01:51,745 --> 00:01:53,979
LISTEN,
I DON'T EXPECT YOU GUYS
51
00:01:53,981 --> 00:01:56,815
TO, LIKE, CHARTER A JET
FOR MY BIRTHDAY,
52
00:01:56,817 --> 00:01:58,317
BUT HOW ABOUT WE JUST
RENT OUT A NIGHTCLUB
53
00:01:58,319 --> 00:02:00,586
FOR 300
OF MY CLOSEST FRIENDS?
54
00:02:00,588 --> 00:02:02,221
THAT'S A GREAT IDEA. WHAT'S
THAT PLACE WE LOVE ON COLFAX?
OH, YEAH.
55
00:02:02,223 --> 00:02:04,056
WHAT'S THE NAME OF THAT?
UM, OH, GOD.
OH, CHUCK E. CHEESE.
56
00:02:04,058 --> 00:02:06,391
CHUCK E. CHEESE. WE LOVE THAT
PLACE. WE COULD RENT THAT OUT.
57
00:02:06,393 --> 00:02:07,926
YEAH.
AND WE CAN HIRE
THAT LITTLE RAT TO DO STUFF,
58
00:02:07,928 --> 00:02:09,628
LIKE DANCE AT THE TABLE.
OH, BUT NO.
59
00:02:09,630 --> 00:02:11,930
UNLESS HE'S ALSO APPEARING
AT COACHELLA. SORRY.
COULD BE THAT.
60
00:02:11,932 --> 00:02:14,766
COACHELLA --
ALL THOSE HIPSTERS IN ONE PLACE.
61
00:02:14,768 --> 00:02:16,301
ONE DRONE STRIKE,
62
00:02:16,303 --> 00:02:18,337
AND WE'LL NEVER HAVE TO SEE
A PORKPIE HAT AGAIN.
63
00:02:18,339 --> 00:02:19,738
MANDY,
WE HAVE NO INTENTION
64
00:02:19,740 --> 00:02:21,673
OF BREAKING THE BANK
FOR THIS PARTY.
65
00:02:21,675 --> 00:02:25,344
AND, EVE, WILL YOU PLEASE STOP
TALKING ABOUT BLOWING PEOPLE UP?
66
00:02:25,346 --> 00:02:28,080
[ SCOFFS ]
THAT'S NOT FAIR!
YEAH.
67
00:02:28,082 --> 00:02:29,848
ALL RIGHT, SOUNDS LIKE
WE'RE PRETTY FAR APART
68
00:02:29,850 --> 00:02:33,485
ON THE WHOLE PARTY THING,
SO...LET'S TALK PRESENTS.
69
00:02:34,455 --> 00:02:35,754
[ INHALES DEEPLY ]
HOW ABOUT A CAR?
70
00:02:35,756 --> 00:02:37,189
[ LAUGHS ]
[ SCOFFS ] A NEW CAR?
71
00:02:37,191 --> 00:02:38,790
I DON'T THINK SO,
NO.
72
00:02:38,792 --> 00:02:40,626
GUYS, JENNA'S MOM
IS GETTING HER THAT ESCALADE,
73
00:02:40,628 --> 00:02:42,594
AND I'M A WAY BETTER PERSON
THAN JENNA.
74
00:02:42,596 --> 00:02:45,097
I ONLY HANG OUT WITH HER
'CAUSE SHE HAS NICE STUFF.
75
00:02:45,099 --> 00:02:47,366
[ LAUGHS SARCASTICALLY ]
I'M NOT BUYING YOU AN ESCALADE.
76
00:02:47,368 --> 00:02:49,768
DAD, THEY'RE REALLY PRACTICAL,
AND THEY'RE VERY SAFE.
77
00:02:49,770 --> 00:02:51,036
WELL, IT DIDN'T PROTECT
TIGER WOODS
78
00:02:51,038 --> 00:02:53,772
FROM AN ANGRY WIFE
WITH A 9-IRON.
79
00:02:53,774 --> 00:02:57,943
THIS IS SO STUPID.
NO BIG PARTY, NO CAR.
80
00:02:57,945 --> 00:02:59,511
COME ON!
I TOTALLY DESERVE THIS!
81
00:02:59,513 --> 00:03:01,880
WELL, WHERE IS THIS
ENTITLED ATTITUDE COMING FROM?
82
00:03:01,882 --> 00:03:03,815
COME ON. YOU WERE ACTING
SO MATURE LATELY.
83
00:03:03,817 --> 00:03:05,017
EXACTLY, YOU OWE ME.
WE --
84
00:03:05,019 --> 00:03:06,318
OWE YOU?
85
00:03:06,320 --> 00:03:07,853
WE OWE YOU?
86
00:03:07,855 --> 00:03:09,855
WE FED YOU. WE CLOTHED YOU.
WE EDUCATED YOU.
87
00:03:09,857 --> 00:03:11,390
NO, NO, NO, NO,
IT WAS PUBLIC EDUCATION.
88
00:03:11,392 --> 00:03:13,192
I'M NOT TAKING THE HIT
FOR THAT.
89
00:03:14,295 --> 00:03:17,062
GUYS, LIKE,
21 IS THE LAST GOOD BIRTHDAY.
90
00:03:17,064 --> 00:03:18,463
AFTER THAT,
THEY'RE ALL SAD.
91
00:03:18,465 --> 00:03:20,632
IT'S LIKE 30, 40, 50,
DEAD.
92
00:03:21,802 --> 00:03:23,569
LOOK AT THAT.
93
00:03:23,571 --> 00:03:26,305
I'VE ALREADY PASSED,
AND YOU'RE WELL ON YOUR WAY.
94
00:03:26,307 --> 00:03:27,639
LOOK AT THAT.
95
00:03:27,641 --> 00:03:29,341
COME ON.
96
00:03:29,343 --> 00:03:30,976
THE MANDY WE WERE HOPING
TO BUY A PRESENT FOR
97
00:03:30,978 --> 00:03:32,477
IS THE MATURE ONE,
98
00:03:32,479 --> 00:03:34,213
THE ONE WHO THINKS ABOUT
SOMEBODY OTHER THAN HERSELF.
99
00:03:34,215 --> 00:03:37,583
SO BUY THAT MANDY AN ESCALADE,
AND WE'LL SHARE IT.
100
00:03:39,320 --> 00:03:40,819
I LOVE YOU GUYS,
101
00:03:40,821 --> 00:03:43,088
BUT, UH, SWING AND A MISS
ON THAT ONE.
102
00:03:50,864 --> 00:03:52,864
[ SIGHS ]
103
00:03:52,866 --> 00:03:56,001
HEY, BUDDY.
104
00:03:56,003 --> 00:03:58,003
PAL, MOVE ALONG.
105
00:03:58,005 --> 00:04:00,772
YOU CAN'T STAY HERE,
MAN.
106
00:04:00,774 --> 00:04:04,076
COME -- KYLE?
107
00:04:04,078 --> 00:04:05,377
[ SIGHS ]
108
00:04:05,379 --> 00:04:06,945
SORRY, MR. LARABEE.
109
00:04:06,947 --> 00:04:08,580
I'LL HEAD
INSIDE THE STORE.
110
00:04:08,582 --> 00:04:11,516
YEAH, AND YOU MIGHT
WANT TO ASK FOR A RAISE.
111
00:04:13,554 --> 00:04:17,556
-- Captions by VITAC --
112
00:04:17,558 --> 00:04:21,226
SEE,
THE WAY I DO IT, KYLE,
113
00:04:21,228 --> 00:04:24,196
IS I SLEEP AT HOME,
AND THEN I COME TO WORK.
[ CHUCKLES ]
114
00:04:24,198 --> 00:04:26,865
I WAS WAITING
FOR MY FRIEND DAVE...
OH, THANK YOU.
115
00:04:26,867 --> 00:04:28,533
...AND, UH,
I MUST HAVE FALLEN ASLEEP.
116
00:04:28,535 --> 00:04:31,870
UH, IS DAVE A FRIEND
THE REST OF US CAN SEE?
117
00:04:31,872 --> 00:04:33,639
OF COURSE.
OKAY.
118
00:04:33,641 --> 00:04:34,973
HE'S NOT LIKE MONTY,
119
00:04:34,975 --> 00:04:36,508
THE GHOST THAT LIVES
IN THE BREAK ROOM.
120
00:04:37,711 --> 00:04:39,411
DAVE LIVES
ON THE LOADING DOCK,
121
00:04:39,413 --> 00:04:41,647
AND -- AND I FIGURED IF I WAITED
IN HIS SPOT, HE'D SHOW UP.
122
00:04:41,649 --> 00:04:43,115
HE'S HOMELESS.
123
00:04:43,117 --> 00:04:45,050
NO, HIS HOME
IS THE LOADING DOCK.
124
00:04:46,387 --> 00:04:48,453
I'M WORRIED
'CAUSE HE'S GONE MISSING.
125
00:04:48,455 --> 00:04:50,255
CAN A HOMELESS GUY
REALLY BE MISSING?
126
00:04:50,257 --> 00:04:52,157
IT'S NOT LIKE
THEY'RE EXPECTED ANYWHERE.
127
00:04:52,159 --> 00:04:54,559
WELL, I-I EXPECT
TO SEE DAVE EVERY MORNING.
128
00:04:54,561 --> 00:04:56,728
I TAKE THEM OUR STALE DOUGHNUTS
AND BAGELS.
129
00:04:56,730 --> 00:04:58,130
IF THAT'S ALL
HE'S BEEN EATING,
130
00:04:58,132 --> 00:04:59,998
MAYBE HE WENT SOMEWHERE
LOOKING FOR FIBER.
131
00:05:00,000 --> 00:05:02,167
HEY.
132
00:05:02,169 --> 00:05:05,470
DOES DAVE WEAR
A BLUE SAN DIEGO CHARGERS HAT?
133
00:05:05,472 --> 00:05:07,306
YEAH, BUT HE'S SECRETLY
A BRONCOS FAN.
134
00:05:07,308 --> 00:05:08,807
YEAH, HE WANTS PEOPLE
TO SEE HIS HAT
135
00:05:08,809 --> 00:05:10,676
AND THINK THAT CHARGER FANS
ARE BUMS
136
00:05:10,678 --> 00:05:12,010
WHO SLEEP
IN THEIR OWN FILTH.
137
00:05:12,012 --> 00:05:13,312
OH.
138
00:05:13,314 --> 00:05:14,646
YOU GOT TO ADMIRE
HIS COMMITMENT.
139
00:05:14,648 --> 00:05:18,684
OR MAYBE HE FOUND A HAT.
140
00:05:18,686 --> 00:05:20,185
I SAW HIM
A COUPLE OF DAYS AGO,
141
00:05:20,187 --> 00:05:22,087
AND I RAN HIM
OFF THE PREMISES.
142
00:05:22,089 --> 00:05:23,655
YOU WHAT?!
WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT?!
143
00:05:23,657 --> 00:05:25,324
BECAUSE
IT'S CHUCK'S JOB.
144
00:05:25,326 --> 00:05:27,859
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU GET
TO DECIDE WHERE EVERYBODY LIVES.
145
00:05:27,861 --> 00:05:29,861
YOU KNOW, JUST BECAUSE
YOU LOOK LIKE MORGAN FREEMAN
146
00:05:29,863 --> 00:05:31,530
DOESN'T MEAN YOU'RE GOD.
147
00:05:31,532 --> 00:05:36,468
SERIOUSLY? HE'S LIKE
40 YEARS OLDER THAN ME.
148
00:05:36,470 --> 00:05:38,704
WHAT'S ALL THE YELLING?
WHAT'S GOING ON?
149
00:05:38,706 --> 00:05:41,940
KYLE CAN'T TELL THE DIFFERENCE
BETWEEN ME AND MORGAN FREEMAN.
150
00:05:41,942 --> 00:05:43,475
WHAT, ARE YOU NUTS?
151
00:05:43,477 --> 00:05:45,377
MORGAN FREEMAN IS WHAT,
SIX, SEVEN YEARS OLDER THAN YOU?
152
00:05:45,379 --> 00:05:47,813
[ LAUGHTER ]
153
00:05:47,815 --> 00:05:49,281
Ed: KYLE HAS BEEN
HARBORING THIS --
154
00:05:49,283 --> 00:05:51,950
THIS HOMELESS GUY OUT
ON THE LOADING DOCK.
155
00:05:51,952 --> 00:05:53,185
YEAH,
I KNOW THE ONE.
156
00:05:53,187 --> 00:05:55,053
YEAH, WE CAN'T HAVE
VAGRANTS
157
00:05:55,055 --> 00:05:57,489
LOITERING AROUND,
LOOKING FOR HANDOUTS.
158
00:05:57,491 --> 00:06:00,559
DAVE IS VERY PROUD.
HE DOES NOT ASK FOR HANDOUTS.
159
00:06:00,561 --> 00:06:02,227
HOW ABOUT THE BAGELS
AND THE DOUGHNUTS?
160
00:06:02,229 --> 00:06:03,962
WELL, HE MAKES ME THROW THEM
IN THE DUMPSTER FIRST,
161
00:06:03,964 --> 00:06:05,964
AND THEN HE HAS TO GO IN
AND GET THEM.
162
00:06:05,966 --> 00:06:07,799
DAVE LIKES TO WORK
FOR EVERYTHING HE GETS.
163
00:06:08,836 --> 00:06:10,335
YEAH, HE COULD
BE DANGEROUS, KYLE.
164
00:06:10,337 --> 00:06:12,671
W-WHAT DO ANY OF US
REALLY KNOW ABOUT THIS GUY?
165
00:06:12,673 --> 00:06:15,674
DAVID HILL IS HIS NAME.
BORN IN FLORIDA.
166
00:06:15,676 --> 00:06:17,542
ACTUALLY WENT
TO BROWARD COMMUNITY COLLEGE,
167
00:06:17,544 --> 00:06:19,578
MOVED TO ALBUQUERQUE,
BECAME A WELDER,
168
00:06:19,580 --> 00:06:21,646
HURT HIMSELF
IN SOME INDUSTRIAL ACCIDENT,
169
00:06:21,648 --> 00:06:23,415
GOT KIND OF IN A PROBLEM
WITH PAINKILLERS,
170
00:06:23,417 --> 00:06:25,083
DROPPED OUT,
HITCHHIKED AROUND THE COUNTRY,
171
00:06:25,085 --> 00:06:28,353
ENDED UP IN DENVER,
UH, SIX, EIGHT MONTHS AGO.
172
00:06:28,355 --> 00:06:30,689
WAIT A MINUTE. H-HOLD ON THERE.
[ STAMMERING ]
173
00:06:30,691 --> 00:06:32,524
HOW DO YOU KNOW
ALL THIS NOW?
174
00:06:32,526 --> 00:06:35,660
YOU SOUND LIKE
HOBO-PEDIA.
175
00:06:35,662 --> 00:06:38,830
I WALKED BY HIM ONE DAY,
AND I SAID, "WHAT'S HAPPENING?"
176
00:06:38,832 --> 00:06:41,633
TWO HOURS LATER,
I WISHED I'D SAID, "HEY."
177
00:06:42,736 --> 00:06:44,569
DAVE CAN BE A BIT
OF A CHATTY CATHY...
178
00:06:44,571 --> 00:06:46,171
[ CHUCKLES ]
179
00:06:46,173 --> 00:06:48,707
...ESPECIALLY AFTER
HIS MORNING DUMPSTER COFFEE.
180
00:06:48,709 --> 00:06:51,009
BOUGHT HIM SOME SHOES,
BUT HE WOULDN'T TAKE THEM
181
00:06:51,011 --> 00:06:52,711
UNLESS I PUT THEM IN THE
DUMPSTER, AND I GOT TO GO BACK
182
00:06:52,713 --> 00:06:54,913
AND THROW SOME SOCKS
IN THERE FOR HIM.
183
00:06:54,915 --> 00:06:56,715
YOU KNOW, IF IT'S ALL RIGHT
WITH YOU, SIRS,
184
00:06:56,717 --> 00:06:58,383
I-I'D LIKE TO
TAKE MY LUNCH BREAK EARLY
185
00:06:58,385 --> 00:06:59,851
AND GO LOOK FOR DAVE.
186
00:06:59,853 --> 00:07:01,253
JUST DON'T BRING HIM HERE,
PLEASE.
187
00:07:01,255 --> 00:07:03,522
HE CAN'T BE LIVING
BEHIND THE STORE, ALL RIGHT?
188
00:07:03,524 --> 00:07:05,023
WHAT'S GONNA HAPPEN
TO ALL THE STUFF
189
00:07:05,025 --> 00:07:07,359
HE ORDERED
FROM AMAZON?
190
00:07:07,361 --> 00:07:08,627
WELL, KNOWING DAVE,
191
00:07:08,629 --> 00:07:10,128
HE'S PROBABLY GOT
A FORWARDING DUMPSTER.
192
00:07:14,735 --> 00:07:17,135
WHOA.
SMELLS LIKE LASAGNA.
193
00:07:17,137 --> 00:07:19,938
YEP. ALMOST DONE.
I'M MAKING A NICE SALAD.
194
00:07:19,940 --> 00:07:21,573
THAT'S NOT HOLDING UP
THE LASAGNA, IS IT?
195
00:07:21,575 --> 00:07:22,707
NO, NO, NO.
196
00:07:22,709 --> 00:07:24,810
[ SMOOCHES ]
Mandy: HI.
197
00:07:24,812 --> 00:07:25,944
HONEY,
WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN?
198
00:07:25,946 --> 00:07:27,279
WE EXPECTED YOU HOME
HOURS AGO?
199
00:07:27,281 --> 00:07:28,547
OH, UM, AFTER SCHOOL,
200
00:07:28,549 --> 00:07:30,148
KYLE AND I WENT DOWN
TO SKID ROW.
201
00:07:30,150 --> 00:07:33,251
IS KYLE TRYING TO PROVE
THAT YOU COULD DO WORSE?
202
00:07:33,253 --> 00:07:34,886
HE'S LOOKING FOR A FRIEND
WHO'S NAMED DAVE
203
00:07:34,888 --> 00:07:36,388
THAT USED TO LIVE
ON OUR LOADING DOCK,
204
00:07:36,390 --> 00:07:38,290
BUT NOW HAS FALLEN
ON HARD TIMES.
205
00:07:38,292 --> 00:07:39,825
WELL,
I DON'T LIKE THE IDEA
206
00:07:39,827 --> 00:07:41,393
OF KYLE TAKING YOU DOWN
TO THAT PART OF TOWN.
207
00:07:41,395 --> 00:07:42,627
I THINK
IT'S A GOOD EXPERIENCE
208
00:07:42,629 --> 00:07:44,062
TO LEARN HOW
THE LESS FORTUNATE LIVE.
209
00:07:44,064 --> 00:07:46,665
WELL, MANDY'S IDEA
OF "LESS FORTUNATE"
210
00:07:46,667 --> 00:07:50,202
IS ANYONE STILL USING
AN iPHONE 5.
211
00:07:51,572 --> 00:07:52,971
DID KYLE
FIND HIS FRIEND?
212
00:07:52,973 --> 00:07:54,739
NO, AND THEN
IT STARTED RAINING,
213
00:07:54,741 --> 00:07:57,108
SO EVERYONE HEADED
INTO THE RESCUE MISSION.
214
00:07:57,110 --> 00:07:58,477
HE'S STILL DOWN THERE
SERVING FOOD.
215
00:07:58,479 --> 00:08:00,111
AH, FREE FOOD.
216
00:08:00,113 --> 00:08:01,746
THAT WILL MOTIVATE
THE FREELOADERS TO GET A JOB.
217
00:08:01,748 --> 00:08:05,083
SAYS THE GIRL WHO'S
ABOUT TO GET SOME FREE FOOD.
218
00:08:05,085 --> 00:08:06,685
I-I'M SORRY.
219
00:08:06,687 --> 00:08:08,286
THEY -- I MEAN, THEY ONLY HAVE
THEMSELVES TO BLAME.
220
00:08:08,288 --> 00:08:09,988
THEY -- THEY MADE
BAD DECISIONS, RIGHT, DAD?
221
00:08:09,990 --> 00:08:12,090
WELL, ESPECIALLY
IF THEY VOTED DEMOCRAT.
222
00:08:13,093 --> 00:08:14,259
OH, COME ON!
223
00:08:14,261 --> 00:08:16,428
TRUTH IS,
IN OBAMA'S AMERICA,
224
00:08:16,430 --> 00:08:18,763
EVERYBODY'S ONE PAYCHECK AWAY
FROM BEING HOMELESS.
225
00:08:18,765 --> 00:08:21,099
OH, YEAH, BECAUSE THERE WERE
NO HOMELESS BEFORE OBAMA.
226
00:08:21,101 --> 00:08:25,804
OH, NO, JUST A BUNCH OF
SAD PEOPLE OUT FOR A LONG WALK.
227
00:08:25,806 --> 00:08:28,773
WELL, IT IS SAD,
BUT I STILL DON'T LIKE THE IDEA
228
00:08:28,775 --> 00:08:31,209
OF MANDY DOWN THERE
WITH ALL THOSE TROUBLED MEN.
229
00:08:31,211 --> 00:08:32,878
ACTUALLY, HALF OF
THE HOMELESS POPULATION
230
00:08:32,880 --> 00:08:34,546
IS NOW WOMEN, OKAY?
231
00:08:34,548 --> 00:08:36,982
NOT EXACTLY THE KIND
OF EQUALITY WE WERE HOPING FOR.
232
00:08:36,984 --> 00:08:40,619
YEAH, BURNING THEIR BRAS
TO STAY WARM.
233
00:08:40,621 --> 00:08:41,820
IT'S SO INTERESTING.
234
00:08:41,822 --> 00:08:43,288
I JUST KEPT WONDERING,
LIKE,
235
00:08:43,290 --> 00:08:46,224
AS A PERSON
WHO DEEPLY CARES ABOUT OTHERS,
236
00:08:46,226 --> 00:08:48,026
WHAT I COULD DO
TO HELP OUT.
237
00:08:48,028 --> 00:08:51,029
AND THEN IT HIT ME.
I COULD VOLUNTEER.
238
00:08:51,031 --> 00:08:53,598
WELL, WHAT? GIVE THE HOMELESS
PEOPLE MAKEOVERS?
239
00:08:55,002 --> 00:08:59,638
I MEAN, I GUESS THAT'S ONE WAY
TO BEAUTIFY OUR PARKS.
240
00:08:59,640 --> 00:09:02,073
I'M SO EXCITED TO GIVE BACK,
YOU KNOW?
241
00:09:02,075 --> 00:09:04,409
I EVEN TOLD ONE LADY
THAT I WOULD DATE HER SON.
242
00:09:04,411 --> 00:09:06,144
OH.
BUT DON'T WORRY.
243
00:09:06,146 --> 00:09:08,713
HE'S JUST A MOP
WITH A HAT ON IT.
244
00:09:08,715 --> 00:09:09,681
WELL, DINNER'S READY.
245
00:09:09,683 --> 00:09:11,149
OKAY,
GOT TO GET MY PHONE.
246
00:09:11,151 --> 00:09:12,884
YOU DON'T NEED YOUR PHONE
TO EAT DINNER.
247
00:09:12,886 --> 00:09:15,587
THEN HOW WILL IT GET
ON INSTAGRAM?
248
00:09:16,990 --> 00:09:20,325
SINCE WHEN IS MANDY DRAWN
TO LOST PEOPLE WITH NO FUTURE?
249
00:09:20,327 --> 00:09:22,894
WELL, I THINK DATING KYLE
GOT THAT BALL ROLLING.
250
00:09:22,896 --> 00:09:24,195
DON'T YOU GUYS GET IT?
251
00:09:24,197 --> 00:09:25,931
THIS NEW
"I CARE ABOUT THE WORLD" MANDY
252
00:09:25,933 --> 00:09:27,265
IS HER WAY OF SUCKING UP
253
00:09:27,267 --> 00:09:29,000
SO YOU'LL SPRING
FOR A FANCY, NEW CAR.
254
00:09:29,002 --> 00:09:31,503
I MEAN, YOU CHALLENGED HER
TO BE A GOOD PERSON, REMEMBER?
255
00:09:31,505 --> 00:09:33,538
OH, COME ON.
SHE'S NOT THAT CYNICAL.
256
00:09:33,540 --> 00:09:35,574
WHAT DOES IT MATTER IF IT GETS
HER TO DO GOOD IN THE WORLD?
257
00:09:35,576 --> 00:09:37,208
HUH?
I'M WITH KRIS.
258
00:09:37,210 --> 00:09:38,677
IT'S A GOOD THING SHE THINKS
ABOUT OTHER PEOPLE.
259
00:09:38,679 --> 00:09:40,412
IT'S A GOOD THING
SHE STARTS THINKING PERIOD.
260
00:09:40,414 --> 00:09:43,348
SHE'S REELING YOU IN, OLD MAN,
HOOK, LINE, AND SINKER.
261
00:09:43,350 --> 00:09:44,783
COME ON, HONEY.
OKAY.
262
00:09:44,785 --> 00:09:46,017
SAY A LITTLE GRACE, PLEASE.
YEAH.
263
00:09:46,019 --> 00:09:47,519
[ THUNDER CRASHES ]
264
00:09:47,521 --> 00:09:50,388
ALL RIGHT, WE'RE SAYING GRACE.
TAKE IT EASY.
265
00:09:50,390 --> 00:09:53,858
DEAR LORD, THANK YOU FOR ALL
THE BLESSINGS YOU'VE GIVEN US
266
00:09:53,860 --> 00:09:55,393
AND FOR THOSE THAT WE LOVE
ARE HEALTHY,
267
00:09:55,395 --> 00:09:57,729
WELL-FED,
AND SAFE FROM THIS STORM.
268
00:09:57,731 --> 00:10:00,632
All: AMEN.
AND WATCH OVER THOSE
WHO AREN'T.
269
00:10:00,634 --> 00:10:02,734
HOOK, LINE, AND SINKER.
270
00:10:02,736 --> 00:10:04,269
[ THUNDER CRASHES ]
271
00:10:10,744 --> 00:10:14,546
HEY, MIKE BAXTER HERE
FOR OUTDOOR MAN
272
00:10:14,548 --> 00:10:16,214
WITH A FEW WORDS
ON HOMELESSNESS.
273
00:10:16,216 --> 00:10:19,551
IT'S A PROBLEM THAT REALLY
HITS HOME, IRONICALLY.
274
00:10:19,553 --> 00:10:21,886
THE GOVERNMENT TOOK A SHOT
AT SOLVING IT.
275
00:10:21,888 --> 00:10:23,722
THEY CAME UP
WITH HOUSING PROJECTS,
276
00:10:23,724 --> 00:10:25,457
WHERE PEOPLE TAKE SHOTS
AT EACH OTHER.
277
00:10:25,459 --> 00:10:27,626
WE CAN'T COUNT ON THE DEMOCRATS
TO BE GOOD WITH HOUSING.
278
00:10:27,628 --> 00:10:31,429
THEY JUST LOST BOTH HOUSES
OF CONGRESS.
279
00:10:31,431 --> 00:10:33,932
BUT IF WE WANT TO KEEP
UNCLE SAM OUT OF THE MIX,
280
00:10:33,934 --> 00:10:36,301
WE ALL NEED TO STEP UP
AND HELP EACH OTHER,
281
00:10:36,303 --> 00:10:38,670
ESPECIALLY THROUGH
CHARITABLE ORGANIZATIONS,
282
00:10:38,672 --> 00:10:40,505
LIKE THE DENVER RESCUE MISSION.
283
00:10:40,507 --> 00:10:42,340
YOU'LL SEE HERE
ON THE WEBSITE IS A PICTURE
284
00:10:42,342 --> 00:10:44,442
OF A HOMELESS FRIEND OF OURS --
HIS NAME IS DAVE.
285
00:10:44,444 --> 00:10:46,111
HE'S WITH ONE OF OUR EMPLOYEES.
286
00:10:46,113 --> 00:10:48,413
OUR EMPLOYEE IS THE ONE
THAT LOOKS HOMELESS.
287
00:10:48,415 --> 00:10:51,416
WE HAVEN'T SEEN DAVE LATELY,
AND WE'RE STARTING TO WORRY.
288
00:10:51,418 --> 00:10:53,084
SO, DAVE,
IF YOU HAPPEN TO SEE THIS
289
00:10:53,086 --> 00:10:55,587
OR ANY OF YOU SEE DAVE,
PLEASE CONTACT OUTDOOR MAN.
290
00:10:55,589 --> 00:10:57,756
THE REST OF YOU, COME IN,
BUY A TENT.
291
00:10:57,758 --> 00:10:59,924
IT CAN BE YOUR HOME
AWAY FROM HOME.
292
00:10:59,926 --> 00:11:01,926
IN THIS DAY AND AGE,
WITH OBAMA AT THE HELM,
293
00:11:01,928 --> 00:11:03,428
IT NEVER HURTS TO HAVE A SPARE,
294
00:11:03,430 --> 00:11:06,564
'CAUSE GOOD CHANCE IS
YOU'RE GONNA NEED IT.
295
00:11:09,436 --> 00:11:11,269
[ KNOCK ON DOOR ]
YEAH.
296
00:11:11,271 --> 00:11:12,804
MIKE, MIKE, MIKE,
297
00:11:12,806 --> 00:11:15,774
YOU KNOW I'M A HUGE FAN
OF YOUR VLOGS, RIGHT?
298
00:11:15,776 --> 00:11:17,942
BUT THIS ONE
IS WAY OFF THE MARK, MIKE.
299
00:11:17,944 --> 00:11:20,645
I'M A BIG FAN
OF YOUR COMPLIMENTS.
300
00:11:20,647 --> 00:11:23,048
THAT ONE NEEDS SOME WORK.
OKAY.
301
00:11:23,050 --> 00:11:25,316
I'M TALKING ABOUT
YOU TURNING OUR STORE
302
00:11:25,318 --> 00:11:26,618
INTO A HOMELESS REFUGE.
303
00:11:26,620 --> 00:11:28,453
THAT'S NOT
WHAT THAT VLOG WAS --
304
00:11:28,455 --> 00:11:29,621
I'VE HAD 20 BUMS
NAMED DAVE SHOW UP,
305
00:11:29,623 --> 00:11:32,057
ASKING ME
WHAT THEY'VE WON.
306
00:11:32,059 --> 00:11:34,159
DID ANY OF THEM HAVE
A SAN DIEGO CHARGER HAT ON?
307
00:11:34,161 --> 00:11:35,560
AND I'M NOT TALKING
ABOUT RYAN LEAF.
308
00:11:35,562 --> 00:11:38,229
I'VE SEEN HIM DOWN THERE
AT THAT DUMPSTER.
309
00:11:38,231 --> 00:11:39,898
IT'S BAD ENOUGH
THAT THE HOMELESS
310
00:11:39,900 --> 00:11:42,534
HAVE TAKEN OVER THE CITY PARK
THAT I SPONSOR.
311
00:11:42,536 --> 00:11:45,737
THE ED ALZATE PARK IS SUPPOSED
TO BE FOR FAMILIES, RIGHT?
312
00:11:45,739 --> 00:11:48,540
IN THE EVENING, CERTAIN
DISCREET GENTLEMEN SHOW UP,
313
00:11:48,542 --> 00:11:50,308
AND I DON'T ASK
ANY QUESTIONS.
314
00:11:51,978 --> 00:11:54,345
IF I WERE YOU,
I'D WIPE DOWN THOSE MONKEY BARS.
315
00:11:54,347 --> 00:11:55,847
I'LL TELL YOU THAT.
316
00:11:55,849 --> 00:11:58,249
HEY, GUYS, GUYS, GREAT NEWS.
I FOUND DAVE.
317
00:11:58,251 --> 00:12:02,153
AH, THE PRODIGAL BUM
HAS RETURNED.
AND HE'S FOUND DAVE.
318
00:12:02,155 --> 00:12:05,223
DAVE SAW MR. B's FABULOUS VLOG
AT THE LIBRARY AND CALLED ME.
319
00:12:05,225 --> 00:12:06,691
I NEED TO GO PICK HIM UP.
320
00:12:06,693 --> 00:12:08,560
SEE IF DAVE WILL LET YOU
DRIVE HIM TO THE MISSION.
321
00:12:08,562 --> 00:12:10,495
BEST PLACE FOR HIM.
RIGHT.
322
00:12:10,497 --> 00:12:12,163
WELL, I'M -- I'M HOPING
I CAN GET HIM TO SETTLE DOWN.
323
00:12:12,165 --> 00:12:13,565
I MEAN, DAVE REALLY NEEDS
324
00:12:13,567 --> 00:12:15,600
TO START THINKING
ABOUT HIS RETIREMENT.
325
00:12:15,602 --> 00:12:17,435
YEAH.
RETIREMENT FROM WHAT?
326
00:12:17,437 --> 00:12:18,903
APPARENTLY,
HE'S GOT A LOADING DOCK
327
00:12:18,905 --> 00:12:20,839
PICKED OUT IN FLORIDA.
328
00:12:24,411 --> 00:12:26,845
YO, DAVE!
329
00:12:26,847 --> 00:12:29,581
I'M GLAD KYLE FOUND YOU,
BUT YOU CAN'T STAY HERE, DAVE.
330
00:12:29,583 --> 00:12:31,349
YOU CAN'T --
331
00:12:33,954 --> 00:12:36,921
SORRY, MR. B.
IT'S JUST ME.
332
00:12:36,923 --> 00:12:39,591
I WAS LOOKING FOR A WARM PLACE
TO SLEEP LAST NIGHT.
333
00:12:39,593 --> 00:12:41,593
WHY DIDN'T YOU JUST GO
TO ED ALZATE PARK?
334
00:12:41,595 --> 00:12:43,595
A LOT OF GUYS THERE
WANT TO SPOON.
335
00:12:45,432 --> 00:12:46,865
WHAT'S GOING ON?
336
00:12:46,867 --> 00:12:49,134
WELL, DAVE REFUSED
TO GO TO THE MISSION,
337
00:12:49,136 --> 00:12:52,137
SO MY ONLY CHOICE WAS
TAKING HIM BACK TO MY PLACE.
338
00:12:52,139 --> 00:12:55,273
DOES DAVE KNOW THE MISSION
IS NICER THAN YOUR PLACE?
339
00:12:56,977 --> 00:12:59,310
YEAH,
I TRIED TO TELL HIM,
340
00:12:59,312 --> 00:13:01,713
BUT HE SEEMED PRETTY HAPPY
ON MY FUTON.
341
00:13:01,715 --> 00:13:03,314
A-AND THEN I WENT OUT
TO THE PHARMACY
342
00:13:03,316 --> 00:13:05,049
TO GET
HIS DIABETES MEDICINE,
343
00:13:05,051 --> 00:13:06,618
'CAUSE I'M REALLY WORRIED
HE COULD LOSE A FOOT.
344
00:13:06,620 --> 00:13:07,886
YOU KNOW
WHAT I'M HEARING?
345
00:13:07,888 --> 00:13:10,755
I MIGHT GET ONE
OF THOSE SHOES BACK.
346
00:13:10,757 --> 00:13:13,057
WHEN I CAME BACK,
THERE WAS A TIE ON THE DOORKNOB.
347
00:13:13,059 --> 00:13:16,060
AND, WELL, WE ALL KNOW
WHAT THAT MEANS.
348
00:13:16,062 --> 00:13:18,463
SO I WENT OUT
TO GET HIM SOME THAI FOOD.
349
00:13:22,102 --> 00:13:24,769
BUT WHEN I CAME BACK,
HE WAS HAVING A PARTY,
350
00:13:24,771 --> 00:13:27,505
AND HE KIND OF NEEDED
THE PLACE TO HIMSELF.
351
00:13:27,507 --> 00:13:30,008
WELL, WHY DIDN'T YOU JUST STAY
IN YOUR VAN FOR A WHILE?
352
00:13:30,010 --> 00:13:32,811
OH, NO, DAVE'S FRIEND SHORTY
WAS IN THERE WITH A LADY.
353
00:13:32,813 --> 00:13:35,180
GOOD LUCK
SELLING THE VAN.
354
00:13:35,182 --> 00:13:36,614
[ CHUCKLES ]
355
00:13:36,616 --> 00:13:40,185
YOU KNOW, UH,
BUM SEX COMES UP ON CARFAX.
356
00:13:41,588 --> 00:13:44,255
YOU CAN'T SOLVE
DENVER'S HOMELESS PROBLEMS
357
00:13:44,257 --> 00:13:46,658
BY HAVING THEM ALL
IN YOUR APARTMENT.
358
00:13:46,660 --> 00:13:48,326
I'M STARTING
TO REALIZE THAT.
359
00:13:48,328 --> 00:13:51,329
IT'S JUST IT'S HARD FOR ME
TO SAY NO TO DAVE,
360
00:13:51,331 --> 00:13:54,199
AND SHORTY CARRIES THAT STICK
WITH A NAIL IN IT.
361
00:13:54,201 --> 00:13:55,700
LET'S YOU AND I GO BACK
TO YOUR APARTMENT.
362
00:13:55,702 --> 00:13:57,969
WE'LL HAVE A LITTLE CONVERSATION
WITH DAVE.
363
00:13:57,971 --> 00:13:59,637
WE'LL SPEAK SOFTLY
364
00:13:59,639 --> 00:14:01,873
AND CARRY A BIGGER STICK
WITH A BIGGER NAIL IN IT.
365
00:14:08,949 --> 00:14:12,283
HEY, EVERYONE.
[ CLEARS THROAT ]
366
00:14:12,285 --> 00:14:14,219
UH, THIS IS MORGAN.
367
00:14:14,221 --> 00:14:16,287
HEY, ARE YOU ONE
OF MANDY'S FRIENDS
368
00:14:16,289 --> 00:14:18,289
FROM THE FASHION PROGRAM?
OH, NO, NO.
369
00:14:18,291 --> 00:14:20,491
MORGAN'S
FROM THE WOMEN'S SHELTER.
370
00:14:20,493 --> 00:14:22,126
SHE'S HOMELESS.
YEAH, SHE'S TOTALLY HOMELESS.
OH.
371
00:14:22,128 --> 00:14:25,630
YOU CAN TELL HER
HOW HOMELESS YOU ARE.
372
00:14:25,632 --> 00:14:26,998
VERY.
373
00:14:27,000 --> 00:14:30,134
I'M SO SORRY.
UM, UH, WELCOME TO OUR HOME.
374
00:14:30,136 --> 00:14:32,570
UH, OH, GOD,
THAT WAS SO INSENSITIVE.
375
00:14:32,572 --> 00:14:34,672
NO,
IT'S OKAY, REALLY.
376
00:14:34,674 --> 00:14:36,007
AND YOU HAVE
A VERY LOVELY HOME.
377
00:14:36,009 --> 00:14:37,842
WELL, IT'S --
IT'S NOT REALLY THAT NICE.
378
00:14:37,844 --> 00:14:40,311
UH, YOU'RE JUST NOT
MISSING MUCH.
379
00:14:40,313 --> 00:14:42,413
[ LAUGHS ]
380
00:14:42,415 --> 00:14:43,748
SHE TRIES TOO HARD.
381
00:14:43,750 --> 00:14:46,751
YOU SHOULD SEE HER
AROUND BLACK PEOPLE.
382
00:14:46,753 --> 00:14:48,887
UH, MORGAN HAS
A JOB INTERVIEW TOMORROW.
[ EXHALES SHARPLY ]
383
00:14:48,889 --> 00:14:50,488
AND THE PEOPLE
FROM THE SHELTER ASKED
384
00:14:50,490 --> 00:14:52,523
IF I COULD GIVE HER
A MAKEOVER.
Vanessa: AH.
385
00:14:52,525 --> 00:14:54,525
APPARENTLY,
THAT'S THE NUMBER-ONE THING
386
00:14:54,527 --> 00:14:56,027
HOMELESS PEOPLE NEED.
387
00:14:56,029 --> 00:14:59,063
[ CLICKS TONGUE ]
WHO FEELS STUPID NOW?
388
00:14:59,065 --> 00:15:01,900
STILL NOT THE PERSON
WHO SHOULD.
389
00:15:01,902 --> 00:15:05,503
IT WAS AN HONOR
MEETING YOU, MORGAN.
390
00:15:05,505 --> 00:15:09,674
JUST TRULY, YOU ARE
[Voice breaking] AN INSPIRATION.
391
00:15:09,676 --> 00:15:12,844
IF SHE WAS HOMELESS AND BLACK,
YOUR HEAD MIGHT EXPLODE.
392
00:15:12,846 --> 00:15:14,379
WOW.
393
00:15:14,381 --> 00:15:16,881
MANDY HAS REALLY COME
A LONG WAY,
394
00:15:16,883 --> 00:15:18,683
TRYING TO HELP
SOMEBODY LIKE MORGAN.
395
00:15:18,685 --> 00:15:21,819
YEAH, WELL, SHE'S LEARNED
A NEW WAY TO CON YOU.
396
00:15:25,525 --> 00:15:27,025
Mandy: OKAY, SO,
WE NEED AN OUTFIT
397
00:15:27,027 --> 00:15:29,127
THAT SAYS, LIKE,
"I'M RESPONSIBLE.
398
00:15:29,129 --> 00:15:31,529
I'M LEVEL-HEADED.
I'M MODEST."
399
00:15:31,531 --> 00:15:34,198
SO, YEAH,
400
00:15:34,200 --> 00:15:35,800
WE'RE GONNA HAVE TO
BORROW SOMETHING FROM MY MOM.
401
00:15:35,802 --> 00:15:36,968
[ CHUCKLES ]
402
00:15:36,970 --> 00:15:38,202
SHE SEEMS REALLY NICE.
403
00:15:38,204 --> 00:15:39,304
OH, YEAH, SHE'S COOL.
404
00:15:39,306 --> 00:15:40,738
I MEAN,
I'LL KNOW FOR SURE
405
00:15:40,740 --> 00:15:42,273
IF I GET A CAR
FOR MY BIRTHDAY NEXT MONTH.
406
00:15:42,275 --> 00:15:44,575
MY DAUGHTER'S BIRTHDAY'S
NEXT MONTH -- 14th.
407
00:15:44,577 --> 00:15:46,377
OH, 26th.
HMM.
408
00:15:46,379 --> 00:15:48,413
YOU HAVE A DAUGHTER?
409
00:15:48,415 --> 00:15:51,215
ISABELLA.
SHE'LL BE 8.
410
00:15:51,217 --> 00:15:55,053
AND THE ANSWER TO YOUR
NEXT QUESTION -- I WAS 17.
411
00:15:55,055 --> 00:15:58,323
OH. JUST LIKE MY SISTER,
ACTUALLY.
412
00:15:58,325 --> 00:16:00,725
YEAH, SHE, UM --
SHE HAD HER SON WHEN SHE WAS 17.
413
00:16:00,727 --> 00:16:02,260
OH.
414
00:16:02,262 --> 00:16:04,896
I WAS AN AUNT BEFORE
I KNEW HOW TO DO ALGEBRA.
415
00:16:04,898 --> 00:16:07,231
ACTUALLY, I STILL AM.
416
00:16:07,233 --> 00:16:09,567
[ CHUCKLES ]
417
00:16:09,569 --> 00:16:12,737
WELL, MY MOTHER KICKED ME OUT
WHEN I GOT PREGNANT.
418
00:16:12,739 --> 00:16:14,939
MY GRANDMA LET US STAY
WITH HER FOR A LITTLE WHILE.
419
00:16:14,941 --> 00:16:18,409
BUT AFTER SHE DIED,
WE WOUND UP LIVING IN MY CAR.
420
00:16:18,411 --> 00:16:21,079
WAS IT AN ESCALADE?
421
00:16:21,081 --> 00:16:23,648
NOT EXACTLY.
[ LAUGHS ]
422
00:16:25,085 --> 00:16:28,353
UM, SO, ISABELLA, DOES SHE LIVE
WITH YOU AT THE SHELTER?
423
00:16:28,355 --> 00:16:30,521
UH, NO.
SHE IS IN A FOSTER HOME.
424
00:16:30,523 --> 00:16:33,358
OH. I'M SORRY.
425
00:16:33,360 --> 00:16:36,361
YEAH, THEY'RE REALLY NICE,
AND I GET TO SEE HER A LOT.
426
00:16:36,363 --> 00:16:37,996
BUT I WILL GET
TO SEE HER A LOT MORE
427
00:16:37,998 --> 00:16:39,864
IF I CAN
JUST GET THIS JOB.
428
00:16:39,866 --> 00:16:41,332
[ SIGHS ]
429
00:16:41,334 --> 00:16:44,535
WELL, LET'S MAKE SURE
YOU GET IT.
430
00:16:51,945 --> 00:16:54,779
DAVE?
431
00:16:54,781 --> 00:16:57,782
DAVE?
432
00:16:57,784 --> 00:16:59,450
HEY, DAVE?!
433
00:16:59,452 --> 00:17:02,220
DAVE'S NOT HERE, MAN.
434
00:17:02,222 --> 00:17:05,189
AND MY TV's GONE.
435
00:17:05,191 --> 00:17:07,558
[ SIGHS ] PROBABLY ONE
OF THOSE PEOPLE HE HAD OVER.
436
00:17:07,560 --> 00:17:09,694
DAVE IS
WAY TOO TRUSTING.
437
00:17:09,696 --> 00:17:11,396
YEAH, NICE PEOPLE
GET TAKEN ADVANTAGE OF
438
00:17:11,398 --> 00:17:12,830
NOW AND THEN,
DON'T THEY?
439
00:17:12,832 --> 00:17:15,199
YOU DON'T THINK DAVE
TOOK MY TV, DO YOU?
440
00:17:15,201 --> 00:17:16,634
I DON'T KNOW,
441
00:17:16,636 --> 00:17:18,903
BUT YOU'RE GONNA
HAVE TO CHANGE YOUR LOCKS,
442
00:17:18,905 --> 00:17:21,639
CHANGE YOUR SHEETS --
PROBABLY BURN THEM.
443
00:17:21,641 --> 00:17:24,142
YOU REALLY GOT TO CHANGE
YOUR APPROACH, KYLE.
444
00:17:24,144 --> 00:17:25,743
YEAH.
445
00:17:25,745 --> 00:17:27,845
WHAT'S THE POINT
OF DOING NICE THINGS
446
00:17:27,847 --> 00:17:30,014
IF PEOPLE ARE GONNA DO
STUFF LIKE THIS?
447
00:17:30,016 --> 00:17:31,749
YOU STILL DO
NICE THINGS,
448
00:17:31,751 --> 00:17:34,652
BUT YOU CAN'T HELP PEOPLE
IF THEY WON'T HELP THEMSELVES.
449
00:17:34,654 --> 00:17:37,155
LOOKS LIKE DAVE
HELPED HIMSELF TO MY TV...
450
00:17:37,157 --> 00:17:38,489
YEP.
451
00:17:38,491 --> 00:17:40,758
...AND MY "STAR WARS"
LEGO SHIP.
452
00:17:42,762 --> 00:17:44,929
KYLE, YOU'RE A GREAT GUY
AND YOU GOT A BIG HEART.
453
00:17:44,931 --> 00:17:47,832
I JUST HOPE THAT YOU DON'T --
YOU DON'T LOSE THAT.
454
00:17:47,834 --> 00:17:50,268
[ CHUCKLES ]
YOU'RE RIGHT.
455
00:17:50,270 --> 00:17:52,270
DAVE MIGHT HAVE STOLEN
MY TV,
456
00:17:52,272 --> 00:17:54,739
BUT I CAN'T LET HIM STEAL
MY BIG HEART.
457
00:17:54,741 --> 00:17:56,340
OR YOUR KIDNEY,
WHICH YOU MIGHT HAVE LOST
458
00:17:56,342 --> 00:17:57,375
HAD YOU SLEPT HERE
LAST NIGHT.
459
00:18:05,051 --> 00:18:06,350
HEY.
HI.
460
00:18:06,352 --> 00:18:08,219
I GOT YOUR WINE.
461
00:18:08,221 --> 00:18:12,857
AND IF YOU RUN OUT,
THE STORE IS OPEN TILL 11:00.
462
00:18:12,859 --> 00:18:14,292
SERIOUSLY, MIKE,
463
00:18:14,294 --> 00:18:15,960
YOU CAN'T BRING YOURSELF
TO PAY FOR A SHOPPING BAG?
464
00:18:15,962 --> 00:18:17,728
NO, WHEN I WAS A KID,
465
00:18:17,730 --> 00:18:19,197
THE GROCERY STORE WOULDN'T
CHARGE YOU FOR A GROCERY BAG.
466
00:18:19,199 --> 00:18:20,698
PLUS,
ALL THE FOOD YOU ATE
467
00:18:20,700 --> 00:18:22,233
WHILE YOU WERE
IN THE GROCERY STORE WAS FREE.
468
00:18:22,235 --> 00:18:24,535
NO, IT WASN'T. NOT EVER.
YEAH, IF YOU DO IT FAST.
469
00:18:25,638 --> 00:18:27,538
LET'S EAT. HEY,
WHERE'S THE OTHER GIRL?
470
00:18:27,540 --> 00:18:29,540
I'M HERE, UH,
AND MANDY'S UPSTAIRS,
471
00:18:29,542 --> 00:18:31,609
TRYING OUTFITS
ON HER BAG-LADY BARBIE.
472
00:18:31,611 --> 00:18:33,945
MANDY BROUGHT HOME
473
00:18:33,947 --> 00:18:37,715
A LOVELY, LOVELY YOUNG WOMAN
FROM THE HOMELESS SHELTER.
474
00:18:37,717 --> 00:18:39,984
I JUST HAD THIS CONVERSATION
WITH KYLE! YOU CAN'T DO THIS.
475
00:18:39,986 --> 00:18:41,319
WE'RE NOT EQUIPPED TO DEAL
WITH THESE PEOPLE'S
476
00:18:41,321 --> 00:18:43,654
ADDICTION PROBLEMS
OR THEIR MENTAL ILLNESS.
477
00:18:43,656 --> 00:18:46,090
OR WHAT IF THEY CARRY A STICK
WITH A NAIL IN IT?
478
00:18:46,092 --> 00:18:50,595
UH, EVERYBODY, IF YOUR
MUNICIPAL WATER DEPARTMENT
479
00:18:50,597 --> 00:18:52,730
NEEDED AN ADMINISTRATIVE
SPECIALIST,
480
00:18:52,732 --> 00:18:54,999
WOULD YOU HIRE
THIS PERSON?
481
00:18:55,001 --> 00:18:58,269
DO-DO-DO! TA-DA!
482
00:18:58,271 --> 00:19:01,939
WOW! MORGAN,
YOU CLEAN UP GREAT.
483
00:19:01,941 --> 00:19:05,276
UH, UH, YOU KNOW, 'CAUSE NOT --
NOT THAT YOU WERE DIRTY BEFORE.
484
00:19:05,278 --> 00:19:08,112
THANK YOU,
MRS. BAXTER.
485
00:19:08,114 --> 00:19:10,448
AND MANDY DID
AN AMAZING JOB.
486
00:19:10,450 --> 00:19:11,949
UM, DAD, MORGAN.
HI.
487
00:19:11,951 --> 00:19:13,751
HI, MORGAN, I'M MIKE BAXTER.
I'M MANDY'S FATHER.
488
00:19:13,753 --> 00:19:15,119
HELLO.
489
00:19:15,121 --> 00:19:16,454
YOU KNOW, I DON'T RUN
THE WATER DEPARTMENT.
490
00:19:16,456 --> 00:19:18,789
IF I DID, I'D HIRE YOU,
'CAUSE WE --
491
00:19:18,791 --> 00:19:20,191
WE USE WATER
A LOT AROUND HERE.
492
00:19:22,162 --> 00:19:25,129
WE EVEN FREEZE IT, MAKE,
UH, LITTLE SQUARES OUT OF IT.
493
00:19:25,131 --> 00:19:26,631
OH, WELL, THANK YOU.
494
00:19:26,633 --> 00:19:28,599
I SHOULD PROBABLY GRAB
MY OLD CLOTHES.
495
00:19:28,601 --> 00:19:30,701
UH, DO YOU GUYS HAVE
A SHOPPING BAG I COULD BORROW?
496
00:19:30,703 --> 00:19:32,436
SURE WE DO.
OH.
497
00:19:34,474 --> 00:19:37,208
AND AROUND HERE,
THEY'RE FREE.
498
00:19:40,313 --> 00:19:43,047
WELL, IT LOOKS LIKE
YOU'RE GETTING YOUR
BIRTHDAY ESCALADE NOW.
499
00:19:43,049 --> 00:19:44,782
YEAH, NO.
500
00:19:44,784 --> 00:19:47,785
ABOUT THAT, GUYS, I WOULD,
UM, RATHER NOT HAVE A BIG DEAL
501
00:19:47,787 --> 00:19:49,453
FOR MY BIRTHDAY THIS YEAR,
502
00:19:49,455 --> 00:19:50,621
MAYBE JUST SOMETHING
SMALL WITH THE FAMILY
503
00:19:50,623 --> 00:19:51,989
AND THEN,
YOU KNOW, DONATE
504
00:19:51,991 --> 00:19:53,491
WHAT YOU WERE GONNA
SPEND ON THE PARTY
505
00:19:53,493 --> 00:19:54,492
TO THE WOMEN'S SHELTER.
506
00:19:54,494 --> 00:19:56,627
CRAP!
WHAT?
507
00:19:57,730 --> 00:20:01,599
NOW I HAVE TO SPEND
MORE THAN $20.
508
00:20:02,802 --> 00:20:05,970
OKAY, I JUST SAW MYSELF AGAIN
IN YOUR MIRROR,
509
00:20:05,972 --> 00:20:07,405
AND I LOOK AMAZING.
510
00:20:07,407 --> 00:20:09,974
I'M SORRY.
THAT SOUNDED REALLY CONCEITED.
511
00:20:09,976 --> 00:20:12,410
HER MIRROR HAS THAT EFFECT
ON PEOPLE.
512
00:20:12,412 --> 00:20:14,712
I GET TO VISIT
ISABELLA TONIGHT.
513
00:20:14,714 --> 00:20:16,747
I CAN'T WAIT FOR HER
TO SEE ME LIKE THIS.
514
00:20:16,749 --> 00:20:18,683
IS THAT YOUR KID?
YEAH, HER DAUGHTER.
515
00:20:18,685 --> 00:20:20,218
UM, SHE'S IN FOSTER CARE.
516
00:20:20,220 --> 00:20:22,987
OH, THAT'S ROUGH THAT YOU
DON'T GET TO LIVE WITH HER.
517
00:20:22,989 --> 00:20:25,523
NO, IT WAS ROUGH ON HER
WHEN I WAS DRINKING.
518
00:20:25,525 --> 00:20:28,025
OH.
BUT I AM SIX MONTHS' SOBER.
519
00:20:28,027 --> 00:20:29,360
OH, GREAT, GREAT, GREAT.
THAT'S GREAT.
520
00:20:29,362 --> 00:20:31,262
GOOD FOR YOU. GOOD.
521
00:20:36,002 --> 00:20:37,401
CONGRATULATIONS.
522
00:20:37,403 --> 00:20:39,170
UH, TRUST ME, YOU'RE --
YOU'RE NOT MISSING MUCH.
523
00:20:39,172 --> 00:20:41,606
NO.
524
00:20:41,608 --> 00:20:43,441
IT'S JUST -- IT'S --
525
00:20:43,443 --> 00:20:45,409
THIS IS ALL MAINLY
FOR COOKING.
526
00:20:47,180 --> 00:20:49,614
UH-HUH,
SHE COOKS LIKE A FISH.
527
00:20:52,185 --> 00:20:54,885
WELL, IF I KEEP GETTING
MY LIFE BACK TOGETHER,
528
00:20:54,887 --> 00:20:56,454
I CAN GET
MY DAUGHTER BACK.
529
00:20:56,456 --> 00:20:58,022
Mike: SHE'LL BE
VERY PROUD OF YOU.
530
00:20:58,024 --> 00:21:00,124
UH, HEY, MORGAN,
I MIGHT HAVE A NECKLACE
531
00:21:00,126 --> 00:21:01,892
THAT COULD GO REALLY WELL
WITH THAT SHIRT.
532
00:21:01,894 --> 00:21:06,230
GOD, THAT'S INCREDIBLE, EVE.
YOU OWN A NECKLACE?
533
00:21:06,232 --> 00:21:07,465
[ SCOFFS ]
534
00:21:07,467 --> 00:21:09,934
THANK YOU.
NO PROBLEM.
535
00:21:09,936 --> 00:21:12,370
CAN YOU STAY FOR DINNER?
IT'S JUST LEFTOVER LASAGNA.
536
00:21:12,372 --> 00:21:14,071
THAT'S VERY NICE OF YOU,
537
00:21:14,073 --> 00:21:16,140
BUT MY DAUGHTER'S
EXPECTING ME, SO...
538
00:21:16,142 --> 00:21:18,643
I'LL TELL YOU WHAT,
WHEN YOU GET THE JOB,
539
00:21:18,645 --> 00:21:21,279
WHICH YOU WILL,
AND YOU GET YOUR DAUGHTER BACK,
540
00:21:21,281 --> 00:21:22,713
COME BY FOR DINNER,
AND WE'LL ALL CELEBRATE.
541
00:21:22,715 --> 00:21:24,782
WOW. THAT'S REALLY GENEROUS.
THANK YOU.
542
00:21:24,784 --> 00:21:26,150
NOT REALLY --
IT'S JUST MY WAY
543
00:21:26,152 --> 00:21:28,886
OF GUARANTEEING
I GET THE BAG BACK.
41417
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