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00:00:01,602 --> 00:00:03,104
EVERYBODY HATES CHRIS #072
"Everybody Hates Doc's"
CLOSED CAPTIONED
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00:00:03,137 --> 00:00:04,238
CHRIS ROCK:
After I became the manager of
Tattaglia's football team,
3
00:00:05,273 --> 00:00:07,108
I only had time to work
at Doc's on the weekends.
4
00:00:07,141 --> 00:00:08,242
Working two days a week seemed
5
00:00:08,276 --> 00:00:10,078
like it was going
to be a breeze,
6
00:00:10,111 --> 00:00:11,645
and then Doc got a girlfriend.
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00:00:11,679 --> 00:00:16,484
Hey, Chris, I want you
to meet my new leading lady.
8
00:00:16,517 --> 00:00:19,353
Look-a here, look-a here.
9
00:00:19,387 --> 00:00:20,388
Stacy.
10
00:00:20,421 --> 00:00:21,289
Hi.
11
00:00:21,322 --> 00:00:22,022
Hi.
12
00:00:22,056 --> 00:00:23,791
She'll be taking over
for me
13
00:00:23,824 --> 00:00:25,126
here on the weekends.
14
00:00:25,159 --> 00:00:27,295
Doc's told me
so much about you.
15
00:00:27,328 --> 00:00:29,097
He didn't tell me a thing
about you.
16
00:00:29,130 --> 00:00:30,498
What do you mean, "taking over"?
17
00:00:30,531 --> 00:00:33,534
Well, you know I can use
a little time off.
18
00:00:33,567 --> 00:00:36,237
So I'll be minding the store.
We'll get along great.
19
00:00:36,270 --> 00:00:37,571
And you'll be working
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00:00:37,605 --> 00:00:39,140
for a much better-looking boss.
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00:00:39,173 --> 00:00:40,508
Cool.
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00:00:40,541 --> 00:00:43,511
And remember,
whatever she says goes.
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00:00:43,544 --> 00:00:44,545
Yeah, no problem.
24
00:00:44,578 --> 00:00:46,147
Are these cans always so dusty?
25
00:00:46,180 --> 00:00:47,748
Problem.
26
00:00:47,781 --> 00:00:50,151
Stacy may have been
a dream come true for Doc,
27
00:00:50,184 --> 00:00:52,486
but she turned out
to be my worse nightmare.
28
00:00:52,520 --> 00:00:56,590
There, all done.
29
00:00:56,624 --> 00:00:59,527
Chris, you did it
all wrong!
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00:00:59,560 --> 00:01:01,529
I want everything on the top
to go on the bottom,
31
00:01:01,562 --> 00:01:03,264
and everything on the bottom
to go on the top.
32
00:01:03,297 --> 00:01:05,599
Why?
Because she's crazy.
33
00:01:05,633 --> 00:01:07,801
Because I don't work for you,
you work for me.
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00:01:07,835 --> 00:01:09,170
I told you she's crazy.
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00:01:09,203 --> 00:01:10,003
And when you finish with that,
36
00:01:10,037 --> 00:01:11,071
I have some errands
for you to run.
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00:01:11,105 --> 00:01:14,575
When she said I work for her,
she meant it.
38
00:01:14,608 --> 00:01:18,846
I had to go for groceries,
get her dry cleaning
39
00:01:18,879 --> 00:01:21,315
and mine her coal.
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00:01:21,349 --> 00:01:23,251
(canary chirps)
41
00:01:23,284 --> 00:01:25,586
And when you're done,
go get me a new bird.
42
00:01:25,619 --> 00:01:27,388
Believe it or not,
43
00:01:27,421 --> 00:01:29,357
Doc's girlfriend was only the
second-worst boss I've had.
44
00:01:29,390 --> 00:01:31,292
Mr. Fong was the worst.
45
00:01:31,325 --> 00:01:33,261
And I could only imagine
how hard it would be
46
00:01:33,294 --> 00:01:34,862
working for him again.
47
00:01:34,895 --> 00:01:39,167
Hey, quit imagining what it
would be like to work for me
48
00:01:39,200 --> 00:01:40,868
and get back to work,
Lionel Richie.
49
00:01:41,902 --> 00:01:43,371
(knock on window)
50
00:01:43,404 --> 00:01:45,739
I was happy
Doc had a girlfriend.
51
00:01:45,773 --> 00:01:47,608
Too bad I have to kill her.
52
00:01:59,920 --> 00:02:02,256
* Ah, make it funky now.
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00:02:02,290 --> 00:02:06,294
Captioning sponsored by
PARAMOUNT TELEVISION
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00:02:21,442 --> 00:02:23,311
Since my father knew everything
there was to know
55
00:02:23,344 --> 00:02:25,646
about having jobs,
I decided to ask him
56
00:02:25,679 --> 00:02:27,248
what to do about Stacy.
57
00:02:27,281 --> 00:02:29,250
Hey, Dad, you ever had
a boss you didn't like?
58
00:02:29,283 --> 00:02:31,285
I never had one I did like.
59
00:02:31,319 --> 00:02:33,487
Why? You having trouble
with Doc?
60
00:02:33,521 --> 00:02:35,856
Nah, I love Doc,
it's his girlfriend who's...
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00:02:35,889 --> 00:02:36,957
Whoa, whoa. Son,
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00:02:36,990 --> 00:02:38,326
stop right there.
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00:02:38,359 --> 00:02:39,860
That's Doc's woman.
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00:02:39,893 --> 00:02:41,895
Whether you like it or not,
she's there to stay.
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00:02:41,929 --> 00:02:44,232
You think so?
66
00:02:44,265 --> 00:02:45,766
The Beatles didn't break up
John and Yoko.
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00:02:45,799 --> 00:02:48,702
If it comes down to you or her,
you're gonna be out of job.
68
00:02:48,736 --> 00:02:50,371
'Cause if you have a problem
with her,
69
00:02:50,404 --> 00:02:51,839
you're gonna have a problem
with Doc.
70
00:02:51,872 --> 00:02:53,974
But I've been on the job
with Doc for years.
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00:02:54,007 --> 00:02:55,743
She's been on the job
for a month.
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00:02:55,776 --> 00:02:58,979
Let's just say you two do
very different jobs.
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00:02:59,012 --> 00:03:01,915
Let's just say what he does
to her, now she's doing to me.
74
00:03:01,949 --> 00:03:05,853
You getting paid to do whatever
keeps that woman happy.
75
00:03:05,886 --> 00:03:07,221
Like James Brolin.
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00:03:07,255 --> 00:03:08,689
Why do I have to do that?
77
00:03:08,722 --> 00:03:10,558
That's why they call it
a "job," Chris.
78
00:03:10,591 --> 00:03:13,261
Apparently, you got it mixed up
with a vacation.
79
00:03:13,294 --> 00:03:14,595
There's nothing I can do?
80
00:03:14,628 --> 00:03:16,997
Well...
81
00:03:17,030 --> 00:03:18,566
(tires squealing)
82
00:03:18,599 --> 00:03:21,902
(Stacy screaming)
83
00:03:21,935 --> 00:03:24,938
(tires squeal)
84
00:03:24,972 --> 00:03:27,007
Don't you think that's taking it
a little far?
85
00:03:27,040 --> 00:03:29,977
If it is,
then it must not be that bad.
86
00:03:33,013 --> 00:03:35,383
While I wanted less attention
from my boss,
87
00:03:35,416 --> 00:03:38,686
Tonya wanted more attention
from boys.
88
00:03:43,023 --> 00:03:44,024
Hey, Tonya.
89
00:03:44,057 --> 00:03:45,993
Do boys always pay attention
to you like that?
90
00:03:46,026 --> 00:03:47,495
Sometimes.
91
00:03:47,528 --> 00:03:49,263
Do you think I'm pretty?
92
00:03:49,297 --> 00:03:51,665
No!
It's not that, Tonya.
93
00:03:51,699 --> 00:03:53,601
Boys aren't paying
attention to me just
because I'm pretty.
94
00:03:53,634 --> 00:03:56,003
It's because now
I'm wearing a bra.
95
00:03:56,036 --> 00:03:57,471
A bra?
96
00:03:57,505 --> 00:03:58,939
Yep.
97
00:03:58,972 --> 00:04:00,408
That's why
boys like you?
98
00:04:00,441 --> 00:04:02,510
Yeah.
Hi, Tasha.
99
00:04:02,543 --> 00:04:03,577
How ya doing?
100
00:04:06,380 --> 00:04:09,517
Hi, Robert.
What are you doing here?
101
00:04:13,887 --> 00:04:16,824
Since having Stacy kidnapped
was out of my price range,
102
00:04:16,857 --> 00:04:18,626
I decided to make my case
with Doc.
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00:04:18,659 --> 00:04:19,960
What are you
doing here, Chris?
104
00:04:19,993 --> 00:04:21,329
You don't work
till tomorrow.
105
00:04:21,362 --> 00:04:22,730
I came to talk to you
about Stacy.
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00:04:22,763 --> 00:04:25,699
I love Stacy. She came by today
and brought me a pie.
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00:04:25,733 --> 00:04:26,800
(chuckles)
108
00:04:26,834 --> 00:04:27,801
And if she was 13,
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00:04:27,835 --> 00:04:28,769
I'd probably have
to take her from you, Doc.
110
00:04:28,802 --> 00:04:31,372
You'd have
to get past R. Kelly first.
111
00:04:31,405 --> 00:04:33,407
Ah, Stacy, mm!
112
00:04:33,441 --> 00:04:36,610
That is one fine... woman.
113
00:04:36,644 --> 00:04:38,045
Mm! I think
114
00:04:38,078 --> 00:04:39,480
she's a real keeper.
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00:04:39,513 --> 00:04:41,549
What is it you wanted to ask me?
116
00:04:41,582 --> 00:04:43,684
Can you lend me money
for a kidnapping?
117
00:04:43,717 --> 00:04:46,053
Nothing. I just wondered
how you guys met.
118
00:04:46,086 --> 00:04:49,723
Well, that's a funny story.
119
00:04:49,757 --> 00:04:51,492
But not so funny
that we're gonna watch him
120
00:04:51,525 --> 00:04:52,926
while he tells it.
121
00:04:52,960 --> 00:04:55,396
Anyway, while Doc was talking
Stacy up,
122
00:04:55,429 --> 00:04:58,999
over at 'Nessa's
it was about to go down.
123
00:04:59,032 --> 00:05:02,035
Hi. May I help you?
124
00:05:02,069 --> 00:05:03,404
I hope so.
125
00:05:03,437 --> 00:05:05,439
I need a touch-up,
I need a little trim.
126
00:05:05,473 --> 00:05:07,741
I need some lowlights
and I need to get out of here
127
00:05:07,775 --> 00:05:08,976
inside of two hours.
128
00:05:09,009 --> 00:05:10,744
You need an
appointment.
129
00:05:10,778 --> 00:05:13,814
I'm sorry.
We're all booked up.
130
00:05:13,847 --> 00:05:14,882
No, you're not.
131
00:05:14,915 --> 00:05:16,083
There's an empty
chair right there.
132
00:05:16,116 --> 00:05:17,951
That client is running
a little late.
133
00:05:17,985 --> 00:05:19,553
She'll be here any minute.
134
00:05:19,587 --> 00:05:21,722
Well, I'm here,
and she's not.
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00:05:21,755 --> 00:05:24,658
Excuse me. What do you think
you're doing?
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00:05:24,692 --> 00:05:28,028
I don't understand
why I have to wait to be served
137
00:05:28,061 --> 00:05:29,129
while you hold
a spot for somebody
138
00:05:29,162 --> 00:05:30,964
that obviously doesn't respect
your business enough
139
00:05:30,998 --> 00:05:32,500
to show up here on time.
140
00:05:32,533 --> 00:05:34,134
Or is that why
the place is empty?
141
00:05:34,167 --> 00:05:35,703
Now wait a minute,
Miss Thing.
142
00:05:35,736 --> 00:05:38,005
I have two questions for you.
Who are you and...
143
00:05:38,038 --> 00:05:39,006
And who asked you?
144
00:05:39,039 --> 00:05:41,709
I'm Stacy Deveaux.
It's French.
145
00:05:41,742 --> 00:05:43,411
Mm, do you want to hear
some more French?
146
00:05:43,444 --> 00:05:44,712
VANESSA:
I know you.
147
00:05:44,745 --> 00:05:46,447
You the one been messing
with Doc.
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00:05:46,480 --> 00:05:47,715
I am not "messing" with Doc.
149
00:05:47,748 --> 00:05:49,082
We're a couple.
150
00:05:49,116 --> 00:05:50,984
And that's a little bit
different than a mess.
151
00:05:51,018 --> 00:05:51,885
Not too much.
152
00:05:51,919 --> 00:05:52,986
Excuse me?
153
00:05:53,020 --> 00:05:53,954
You're excused.
154
00:05:55,756 --> 00:05:57,758
Okay, I'm gonna have
to ask you to leave.
155
00:05:57,791 --> 00:05:58,892
I'm sorry. We can't help you.
156
00:05:58,926 --> 00:06:00,761
Yes, you are sorry.
157
00:06:00,794 --> 00:06:02,596
And you don't need to help me.
158
00:06:02,630 --> 00:06:04,465
You need to help yourself.
159
00:06:04,498 --> 00:06:07,468
I know you are, but what am I?
160
00:06:07,501 --> 00:06:09,803
I asked Greg
what to do about Stacy,
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00:06:09,837 --> 00:06:12,473
and he gave me the advice
he always gave regarding women.
162
00:06:12,506 --> 00:06:14,408
I don't know what
to tell you, dude.
163
00:06:14,442 --> 00:06:15,409
Thanks.
164
00:06:15,443 --> 00:06:17,177
Stacy really
that bad?
165
00:06:17,210 --> 00:06:20,481
Last weekend, she made me give
her grandmother a bath.
166
00:06:20,514 --> 00:06:22,583
Chris, I hear you sneaking out!
167
00:06:22,616 --> 00:06:24,618
Don't you leave me
in this tub again!
168
00:06:24,652 --> 00:06:26,920
Why don't you just quit?
You can find another job.
169
00:06:26,954 --> 00:06:28,021
Not like this one.
170
00:06:28,055 --> 00:06:30,858
I mean, I make decent money,
it's close to my house,
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00:06:30,891 --> 00:06:32,826
and I can make my own hours.
172
00:06:32,860 --> 00:06:34,695
It's either Doc's
or I start dealing crack.
173
00:06:34,728 --> 00:06:37,064
How come she's not with Doc
anyways?
174
00:06:37,097 --> 00:06:37,965
Where is he?
175
00:06:37,998 --> 00:06:40,501
He plays chess in the park
on weekends.
176
00:06:40,534 --> 00:06:41,602
Just get her to go with him.
177
00:06:41,635 --> 00:06:42,836
Thanks, Captain Obvious.
178
00:06:42,870 --> 00:06:44,505
How am I supposed to do that?
179
00:06:44,538 --> 00:06:46,474
I don't know, citizen.
180
00:06:46,507 --> 00:06:49,443
Captain Obvious only gives you
the obvious solution.
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00:06:49,477 --> 00:06:51,078
The rest is up to you.
182
00:06:52,480 --> 00:06:54,114
Kind oflike Google.
183
00:06:54,147 --> 00:06:57,184
While Doc tried
to protect his king,
184
00:06:57,217 --> 00:06:58,852
I tried to get rid
of his queen.
185
00:07:02,490 --> 00:07:03,223
Where's your old lady?
186
00:07:03,256 --> 00:07:05,025
I left her at the store.
187
00:07:05,058 --> 00:07:06,927
No need to bring
sand to the beach.
188
00:07:06,960 --> 00:07:08,962
Who you calling sand?
189
00:07:08,996 --> 00:07:10,263
I had to get Stacy with Doc.
190
00:07:10,297 --> 00:07:13,534
And once I went to the park,
I found out what I had to do.
191
00:07:13,567 --> 00:07:15,603
I had to get Doc to take sand
to the beach.
192
00:07:15,636 --> 00:07:16,904
Check.
193
00:07:16,937 --> 00:07:18,839
Checkmate.
194
00:07:21,675 --> 00:07:24,478
(sighs)
Here's your dress.
195
00:07:24,512 --> 00:07:26,013
They said to give you
this card.
196
00:07:26,046 --> 00:07:28,181
It's for another
dry cleaners you
might want to try.
197
00:07:28,215 --> 00:07:30,784
It's in Canada.
198
00:07:30,818 --> 00:07:33,487
Go get me some
egg foo yung at Woo's.
199
00:07:33,521 --> 00:07:34,988
Ooh, I need
some stamps, too.
200
00:07:35,022 --> 00:07:37,658
And then run by my
apartment and see
if the mail came in.
201
00:07:37,691 --> 00:07:39,259
I don't want
my check to get stolen.
202
00:07:39,292 --> 00:07:41,161
Before I went on my next run,
203
00:07:41,194 --> 00:07:42,229
I decided to give her
the runaround.
204
00:07:42,262 --> 00:07:46,500
So, um, what exactly
does Doc do on the weekends?
205
00:07:46,534 --> 00:07:47,968
He's playing chess at the park.
206
00:07:48,001 --> 00:07:50,838
At the park?
With the sugar daddies?
207
00:07:50,871 --> 00:07:52,139
The who?
208
00:07:52,172 --> 00:07:54,107
Oh, the sugar daddies.
209
00:07:54,141 --> 00:07:55,843
You know, that's what the ladies
call them.
210
00:07:55,876 --> 00:07:57,678
What ladies?
211
00:07:57,711 --> 00:07:59,580
The ones at the park.
212
00:07:59,613 --> 00:08:01,849
I can't get a girl to
talk to me at school,
213
00:08:01,882 --> 00:08:04,084
but these old men
have them fighting
over them.
214
00:08:04,117 --> 00:08:06,019
If don't have a woman
by the time I'm 60...
215
00:08:06,053 --> 00:08:07,521
...I'll kill myself.
216
00:08:07,555 --> 00:08:09,156
...I'm picking up chess
and going to the park.
217
00:08:09,189 --> 00:08:13,594
Mm, mm, mm,
I should have known better.
218
00:08:14,795 --> 00:08:15,929
Should have known better what?
219
00:08:15,963 --> 00:08:19,066
Known better than to listen
to a sneaky 15-year-old.
220
00:08:19,099 --> 00:08:22,536
It is the same thing
over and over again!
221
00:08:22,570 --> 00:08:24,672
And Stacy is tired of it!
222
00:08:24,705 --> 00:08:26,674
Stacy is not a fool.
223
00:08:26,707 --> 00:08:28,141
When Stacy smells smoke,
224
00:08:28,175 --> 00:08:29,677
Stacy doesn't stand around
and wait for the fire!
225
00:08:29,710 --> 00:08:32,212
Stacy is leaving!
226
00:08:32,245 --> 00:08:33,747
Referring to yourself
in the third person.
227
00:08:33,781 --> 00:08:35,115
It's not just
for athlete's anymore.
228
00:08:35,148 --> 00:08:36,784
What do you want me
to tell Doc?
229
00:08:36,817 --> 00:08:40,621
Tell Doc he can kiss...
230
00:08:40,654 --> 00:08:41,655
Your black...?
231
00:08:41,689 --> 00:08:44,825
Don't tell Doc anything.
232
00:08:44,858 --> 00:08:46,594
It's not your job.
233
00:08:46,627 --> 00:08:49,663
First time she ever said that.
234
00:08:49,697 --> 00:08:51,599
I was like Cupid's retarded
little brother.
235
00:08:51,632 --> 00:08:53,033
Damn, I'm good.
236
00:08:57,270 --> 00:08:59,740
After I dropped
the bomb on Stacy,
237
00:08:59,773 --> 00:09:03,176
unfortunately, Stacy
dropped the bomb on Doc.
238
00:09:04,912 --> 00:09:06,013
Hey, Doc.
239
00:09:06,046 --> 00:09:07,681
What are you
doing here?
240
00:09:07,715 --> 00:09:09,650
Where's Stacy?
She's gone.
241
00:09:09,683 --> 00:09:11,218
(chuckles)
242
00:09:11,251 --> 00:09:12,886
I found this letter.
243
00:09:12,920 --> 00:09:14,622
(chuckles)
244
00:09:14,655 --> 00:09:16,990
She said it's over.
245
00:09:17,024 --> 00:09:20,661
Called me every
name in the book.
246
00:09:20,694 --> 00:09:22,663
You can never find
that book at the library.
247
00:09:22,696 --> 00:09:25,098
I don't understand.
248
00:09:25,132 --> 00:09:28,001
Did something happen yesterday?
No.
249
00:09:28,035 --> 00:09:32,606
Unless you think me sabotaging
your relationship is strange.
250
00:09:32,640 --> 00:09:35,676
I just can't figure it out.
251
00:09:37,778 --> 00:09:38,912
You okay?
252
00:09:38,946 --> 00:09:40,380
I'm not feeling very well.
253
00:09:40,413 --> 00:09:42,382
I'm gonna go in the back
254
00:09:42,415 --> 00:09:44,084
and lie down.
255
00:09:44,117 --> 00:09:46,687
Get that bottle
of whisky for me.
256
00:09:46,720 --> 00:09:49,990
At least he didn't ask me
for a box of tissues.
257
00:09:50,023 --> 00:09:52,225
And get me that box of tissues.
258
00:09:54,962 --> 00:09:57,130
Doc hadn't needed
whiskey and tissues
259
00:09:57,164 --> 00:10:00,233
since Maceo Parker
left James Brown's band.
260
00:10:00,267 --> 00:10:02,636
At Tonya's school,
261
00:10:02,670 --> 00:10:07,975
her first day of wearing a bra
alsoinvolved a box of tissues.
262
00:10:08,008 --> 00:10:09,643
Because, as it turns out,
263
00:10:09,677 --> 00:10:11,979
they were useful
for the end of relationships
264
00:10:12,012 --> 00:10:13,647
and for the beginning.
265
00:10:13,681 --> 00:10:16,349
Hi, Tonya.
Hey, Tonya.
266
00:10:16,383 --> 00:10:18,686
Inside of two minutes,
Tonya discovered
267
00:10:18,719 --> 00:10:21,121
bras not only
got you attention,
268
00:10:21,154 --> 00:10:23,023
they got you favors.
269
00:10:23,056 --> 00:10:25,826
Can I buy you lunch?
Can I do your homework?
270
00:10:25,859 --> 00:10:27,294
They got you gifts.
271
00:10:27,327 --> 00:10:28,662
Voila!
272
00:10:28,696 --> 00:10:30,230
You bought me a car?!
273
00:10:30,263 --> 00:10:33,667
I-If you don't like it,
I could get you another
one-- but I'll need a day.
274
00:10:33,701 --> 00:10:35,402
And they also
got you questions.
275
00:10:35,435 --> 00:10:37,404
Tonya, that's a nice necklace--
where'd you get it?
276
00:10:37,437 --> 00:10:39,372
Oh, this boy gave it to me.
277
00:10:39,406 --> 00:10:42,409
Well, give it back--
you're too young to be
getting gifts from boys.
278
00:10:42,442 --> 00:10:45,445
Julius, don't get carried away--
it's just a plastic necklace.
279
00:10:45,478 --> 00:10:47,447
Next it'll be
a plastic bracelet,
280
00:10:47,480 --> 00:10:48,248
then a plastic ring.
281
00:10:48,281 --> 00:10:49,950
I want this to
stop at the neck.
282
00:10:49,983 --> 00:10:52,319
He said that
till she turned 35.
283
00:10:52,352 --> 00:10:53,987
Hey, Drew, how's Doc?
284
00:10:54,021 --> 00:10:56,056
I didn't see him today--
he closed the store.
285
00:10:56,089 --> 00:10:56,790
He's all depressed
286
00:10:56,824 --> 00:10:58,391
because his girlfriend
left him.
287
00:10:58,425 --> 00:10:59,426
What?
Well, you
ask me,
288
00:10:59,459 --> 00:11:01,261
Doc just dodged a bullet.
289
00:11:01,294 --> 00:11:03,463
She was nothing
but a gold digger anyway.
290
00:11:03,496 --> 00:11:07,067
What's a gold digger?
It's a woman who's with
an older man for his money.
291
00:11:07,100 --> 00:11:08,736
Isn't that an "old digger"?
292
00:11:08,769 --> 00:11:10,103
Just because Doc
has a little money
293
00:11:10,137 --> 00:11:11,772
doesn't make her a gold digger.
294
00:11:11,805 --> 00:11:14,474
Besides, what's wrong with
Doc having a younger woman?
295
00:11:14,507 --> 00:11:17,044
Is that what you're gonna
say to me when I turn 60?
296
00:11:17,077 --> 00:11:19,246
You just gonna leave
me and run off
297
00:11:19,279 --> 00:11:20,714
with a 35-year-old cashier?
298
00:11:20,748 --> 00:11:22,750
She should be about 12
right about now.
299
00:11:22,783 --> 00:11:25,085
Why don't you run out and
buy her a plastic necklace?
300
00:11:25,118 --> 00:11:28,355
Of the million things my father
could've said at that moment,
301
00:11:28,388 --> 00:11:32,159
he chose the smartest one--
nothing.
302
00:11:33,526 --> 00:11:34,995
Did Doc say when
he was gonna reopen?
303
00:11:35,028 --> 00:11:36,830
He said he might never reopen.
304
00:11:36,864 --> 00:11:38,766
I got rid of Stacy, my job
305
00:11:38,799 --> 00:11:40,801
and Doc's will to live--
way to go, dummy.
306
00:11:46,907 --> 00:11:50,410
ROCHELLE (calls):
Tonya!
307
00:11:50,443 --> 00:11:52,245
Tonya, are you up there?
308
00:11:53,847 --> 00:11:55,282
Tonya?
309
00:12:00,888 --> 00:12:03,323
What are you doing?
310
00:12:03,356 --> 00:12:05,025
(chuckling):
I was looking for you.
311
00:12:05,058 --> 00:12:06,760
Oh, well, it's time
for you to go to school.
312
00:12:06,794 --> 00:12:09,062
Okay.
313
00:12:17,938 --> 00:12:22,810
While Doc was feeding the bums,
losing Stacy was eating him up.
314
00:12:33,586 --> 00:12:35,823
You spoken to Stacy?
315
00:12:35,856 --> 00:12:39,426
No. She won't see me.
316
00:12:39,459 --> 00:12:43,797
Drew said that you
were thinking about
closing up the store.
317
00:12:43,831 --> 00:12:47,567
I'm gonna pack up my things
and move to Florida,
318
00:12:47,600 --> 00:12:49,837
buy a boat...
319
00:12:49,870 --> 00:12:51,538
be sad there.
320
00:12:51,571 --> 00:12:52,873
You're leaving?
321
00:12:52,906 --> 00:12:55,175
I know.
322
00:12:55,208 --> 00:12:58,278
I know how much you
liked that job, Chris.
323
00:12:58,311 --> 00:13:00,848
I'm sorry this
had to happen.
324
00:13:00,881 --> 00:13:03,783
Especially since
it was my own fault.
325
00:13:15,929 --> 00:13:19,532
When my mother found the bra
in my father's sock drawer,
326
00:13:19,566 --> 00:13:22,469
she stared at it like
the woman was still in it.
327
00:13:22,502 --> 00:13:24,938
Over at Stacy's,
I didn't know what was worse,
328
00:13:24,972 --> 00:13:26,506
having to confess
what I had done
329
00:13:26,539 --> 00:13:28,942
or feeling like
I was in the Bronx Zoo.
330
00:13:28,976 --> 00:13:30,911
So, what'd you want
to talk to me about?
331
00:13:30,944 --> 00:13:33,881
(sighs)
You got to give Doc
another chance.
332
00:13:34,915 --> 00:13:36,183
Chris...
333
00:13:36,216 --> 00:13:37,851
Doc is a liar.
334
00:13:37,885 --> 00:13:40,520
And I know that you want
to take up for him,
335
00:13:40,553 --> 00:13:42,990
but he doesn't deserve
another chance.
336
00:13:43,023 --> 00:13:44,858
Ooh! He is like
337
00:13:44,892 --> 00:13:46,894
all the other men
I've ever dated!
338
00:13:46,927 --> 00:13:50,397
He lied, they lied,
because they're liars.
339
00:13:50,430 --> 00:13:52,365
The story of
the Bush Administration.
340
00:13:52,399 --> 00:13:53,934
Doc's not like that.
341
00:13:53,967 --> 00:13:55,502
He is.
342
00:13:56,669 --> 00:13:58,939
Chris.
343
00:13:58,972 --> 00:14:00,307
Don't...
344
00:14:00,340 --> 00:14:02,175
grow up to be like that.
345
00:14:02,209 --> 00:14:05,913
No matter how much
you think you may
hurt a woman's feelings,
346
00:14:05,946 --> 00:14:08,248
you have to tell her the truth.
347
00:14:08,281 --> 00:14:10,317
She may hate you,
348
00:14:10,350 --> 00:14:11,952
she may burn down your house
349
00:14:11,985 --> 00:14:13,186
or pour bleach
on your clothes,
350
00:14:13,220 --> 00:14:16,089
or... attack your
new girlfriend with ants
351
00:14:16,123 --> 00:14:17,657
or take every dime
you make.
352
00:14:17,690 --> 00:14:20,327
She may scratch your car
with a rake
353
00:14:20,360 --> 00:14:23,430
or use your home phone
to call China long distance.
354
00:14:23,463 --> 00:14:27,667
Or she could put milk
and detergent in your gas tank.
355
00:14:27,700 --> 00:14:30,437
Or put turpentine
and nail polish remover
356
00:14:30,470 --> 00:14:32,439
and itching powder
in your underwear.
357
00:14:32,472 --> 00:14:35,108
She may glue your private parts
to your leg.
358
00:14:35,142 --> 00:14:36,944
She may send
an assassination threat
359
00:14:36,977 --> 00:14:39,212
to the president with
your return address.
360
00:14:39,246 --> 00:14:40,447
Uh, Stacy?
361
00:14:40,480 --> 00:14:42,015
Hm?
362
00:14:42,049 --> 00:14:44,251
Doc didn't do anything.
363
00:14:44,284 --> 00:14:47,020
It was me-- I lied.
364
00:14:47,054 --> 00:14:48,188
(laughs softly)
365
00:14:48,221 --> 00:14:50,023
Chris...
366
00:14:50,057 --> 00:14:54,127
don't you see how he's using
a child to make excuses for him?
367
00:14:54,161 --> 00:14:55,528
He's not.
368
00:14:55,562 --> 00:14:58,966
The truth is, Stacy...
I don't like you,
369
00:14:58,999 --> 00:15:01,568
and I didn't like how hard
you were making me work.
370
00:15:01,601 --> 00:15:03,536
I was trying to get rid of you.
371
00:15:03,570 --> 00:15:05,205
Trying to break you and Doc up.
372
00:15:05,238 --> 00:15:08,008
What?! Why wouldn't you like me?
373
00:15:08,041 --> 00:15:09,342
You're making me
clean your house!
374
00:15:09,376 --> 00:15:10,643
You missed a spot.
See?
375
00:15:10,677 --> 00:15:13,013
Chris, everybody likes me.
376
00:15:13,046 --> 00:15:16,016
No. Nobody likes you.
377
00:15:16,049 --> 00:15:18,185
Except for Doc and Drew--
and Drew doesn't count;
378
00:15:18,218 --> 00:15:19,452
he just likes pie.
379
00:15:19,486 --> 00:15:21,454
How's that for honest?
380
00:15:21,488 --> 00:15:24,224
Now she's gonna burn
your house down.
381
00:15:24,257 --> 00:15:25,692
Are you gonna burn
my house down?
382
00:15:25,725 --> 00:15:27,460
No.
383
00:15:27,494 --> 00:15:29,429
Glue my eyelids shut?
384
00:15:29,462 --> 00:15:30,998
Chris, no.
385
00:15:31,031 --> 00:15:32,966
Just a little surprised.
386
00:15:33,000 --> 00:15:34,567
A lot surprised.
387
00:15:37,037 --> 00:15:38,238
Well...
388
00:15:38,271 --> 00:15:40,240
Doc really misses you.
389
00:15:40,273 --> 00:15:44,011
He didn't do anything
to deserve this,
and neither did you.
390
00:15:44,044 --> 00:15:45,312
So...
391
00:15:45,345 --> 00:15:46,946
just wanted to
say I'm sorry.
392
00:15:50,450 --> 00:15:53,086
Chris...
393
00:15:53,120 --> 00:15:56,723
I am very disappointed in you.
394
00:15:56,756 --> 00:15:59,526
And as soon as you finish
washing the dishes,
395
00:15:59,559 --> 00:16:02,095
I want you out of my house.
396
00:16:02,129 --> 00:16:02,996
Where you going?
397
00:16:03,030 --> 00:16:07,100
I'm going to get my man.
398
00:16:07,134 --> 00:16:10,470
Unless Apocalypto
throws a spear in you.
399
00:16:10,503 --> 00:16:14,107
* It's a thin line
While one innocent man
was off the hook,
400
00:16:14,141 --> 00:16:15,742
another was on death row
401
00:16:15,775 --> 00:16:20,013
* Between love and hate...
and didn't even know it.
402
00:16:20,047 --> 00:16:22,482
* It's a thin line
I love this song.
403
00:16:22,515 --> 00:16:25,118
(sighs)
404
00:16:25,152 --> 00:16:26,553
Dinner smells delicious.
405
00:16:26,586 --> 00:16:28,055
What is it?
406
00:16:28,088 --> 00:16:30,623
Two breasts.
407
00:16:30,657 --> 00:16:34,427
* It's 5:00 in the morning...
Since when have you
been interested in guns?
408
00:16:34,461 --> 00:16:38,131
Since I found this bra
409
00:16:38,165 --> 00:16:39,499
in your sock drawer!
410
00:16:39,532 --> 00:16:41,801
* I knock on the door...
Rochelle...
411
00:16:41,834 --> 00:16:43,270
What?
412
00:16:43,303 --> 00:16:45,772
If my father had
been paying attention,
413
00:16:45,805 --> 00:16:47,174
he would've noticed
a few things.
414
00:16:51,311 --> 00:16:53,146
I don't know anything
about that bra.
415
00:16:53,180 --> 00:16:54,814
I've never seen
that bra in my life?
416
00:16:54,847 --> 00:16:57,250
So what was it doing
in your sock drawer?
417
00:16:57,284 --> 00:16:58,485
I have no idea.
418
00:16:58,518 --> 00:17:00,287
Oh. Did a pair
of your socks
419
00:17:00,320 --> 00:17:02,489
have a date last night
and get lucky?
420
00:17:02,522 --> 00:17:04,391
Or maybe a pair
of your socks
421
00:17:04,424 --> 00:17:07,427
thought it was a bra
trapped inside socks' body!
422
00:17:07,460 --> 00:17:08,595
Or maybe...
423
00:17:08,628 --> 00:17:12,265
you had a friend over,
and she put 'em there.
424
00:17:12,299 --> 00:17:13,833
Even if I had a friend...
425
00:17:13,866 --> 00:17:14,867
Shut up.
426
00:17:14,901 --> 00:17:17,270
...and I was crazy enough
to bring her over...
427
00:17:17,304 --> 00:17:18,171
Shut up.
428
00:17:18,205 --> 00:17:19,306
...do you think
429
00:17:19,339 --> 00:17:21,141
I'd be crazy enough
to put a bra
430
00:17:21,174 --> 00:17:23,676
in my sock drawer
when I know you do the laundry?
431
00:17:23,710 --> 00:17:25,178
Would you shut up!
432
00:17:25,212 --> 00:17:26,813
So you thought about this?
433
00:17:26,846 --> 00:17:28,415
Itoldyour ass to shut up.
434
00:17:28,448 --> 00:17:29,416
No!
435
00:17:29,449 --> 00:17:32,319
Then if youdidn't put it there,
436
00:17:32,352 --> 00:17:34,187
who did?
437
00:17:34,221 --> 00:17:37,290
* It's a thin line
I don't know.
438
00:17:37,324 --> 00:17:41,228
* Between love and hate...
439
00:17:41,261 --> 00:17:42,829
ROCHELLE:
Okay,
440
00:17:42,862 --> 00:17:46,566
I'm gonna ask
this question once.
441
00:17:46,599 --> 00:17:48,801
But before I ask it,
442
00:17:48,835 --> 00:17:53,740
I want y'all to understand
what the stakes are.
443
00:17:53,773 --> 00:17:55,408
Because if y'all say
444
00:17:55,442 --> 00:17:58,178
that you've never seen
that bra before,
445
00:17:58,211 --> 00:17:59,779
I'm gonna kill your father.
446
00:17:59,812 --> 00:18:02,649
Yeah, and then I'm
gonna go to jail,
447
00:18:02,682 --> 00:18:03,716
and then you guys
448
00:18:03,750 --> 00:18:05,185
are gonna be split up
449
00:18:05,218 --> 00:18:06,119
and sent to live
in foster care.
450
00:18:06,153 --> 00:18:09,189
Sounds like a BET
movie-of-the-week.
451
00:18:09,222 --> 00:18:11,124
So, does everybody understand?
452
00:18:11,158 --> 00:18:13,160
Okay.
453
00:18:13,193 --> 00:18:16,163
Okay, the question is,
454
00:18:16,196 --> 00:18:18,865
did anybody
sitting at this table
455
00:18:18,898 --> 00:18:22,235
put that bra in your
father's sock drawer?
456
00:18:22,269 --> 00:18:23,636
No.
457
00:18:23,670 --> 00:18:24,637
Wasn't me.
458
00:18:27,440 --> 00:18:29,576
We have a winner.
459
00:18:29,609 --> 00:18:31,578
Okay, boys, you
can go to bed now.
460
00:18:31,611 --> 00:18:35,148
Gladly!
461
00:18:35,182 --> 00:18:37,750
Julius, you
can leave, too.
462
00:18:39,486 --> 00:18:41,154
You're lucky.
463
00:18:45,192 --> 00:18:47,327
Okay, Tonya,
talk to me.
464
00:18:47,360 --> 00:18:50,263
(sighs)
W-Well, I saw these boys
465
00:18:50,297 --> 00:18:51,931
paying attention to girls
who wear bras,
466
00:18:51,964 --> 00:18:53,533
so I stole Tasha's,
467
00:18:53,566 --> 00:18:55,668
because I wanted some
of that attention, too.
468
00:18:55,702 --> 00:18:58,371
Baby...
469
00:18:58,405 --> 00:19:02,209
Tonya, that's not the kind
of attention that you want.
470
00:19:02,242 --> 00:19:05,212
You want boys to look
at what's in your heart,
471
00:19:05,245 --> 00:19:06,846
not what's in your bra.
472
00:19:06,879 --> 00:19:09,182
In my sister's case,
they were both empty.
473
00:19:09,216 --> 00:19:12,585
Tonya, you're
moving too fast.
474
00:19:12,619 --> 00:19:15,288
I mean, you're not
ready for this.
475
00:19:15,322 --> 00:19:17,490
What did you do,
stick tissue in it?
476
00:19:17,524 --> 00:19:19,626
Yeah.
477
00:19:19,659 --> 00:19:22,262
Okay, well...
478
00:19:22,295 --> 00:19:25,632
Tonya, you having
a bra is like...
479
00:19:25,665 --> 00:19:29,202
you buying a saddle
before you get the horse.
480
00:19:29,236 --> 00:19:32,572
You know, boys will
pay attention to you,
481
00:19:32,605 --> 00:19:34,674
but they're not really
looking at you,
482
00:19:34,707 --> 00:19:36,476
they're admiring
your saddle.
483
00:19:36,509 --> 00:19:37,744
And-and-and...
484
00:19:37,777 --> 00:19:39,779
when you do
get the horse,
485
00:19:39,812 --> 00:19:42,215
then everything
is different,
486
00:19:42,249 --> 00:19:44,551
because then you
need the saddle.
487
00:19:44,584 --> 00:19:47,220
(chuckles)
488
00:19:47,254 --> 00:19:51,258
Wait, are we talking
about bras or saddles?
489
00:19:51,291 --> 00:19:53,826
JULIUS (from other room):
Saddles!
490
00:19:53,860 --> 00:19:55,562
It wasn't pretty,
491
00:19:55,595 --> 00:19:58,598
but Doc had gotten his nights
back with his queen.
492
00:19:58,631 --> 00:20:00,633
You know
your king's in check?
493
00:20:00,667 --> 00:20:03,536
He most certainly is.
494
00:20:03,570 --> 00:20:05,605
Stacy was back with Doc
495
00:20:05,638 --> 00:20:07,907
and out of the store
on weekends,
496
00:20:07,940 --> 00:20:09,942
which was all I ever wanted.
497
00:20:09,976 --> 00:20:12,745
Doc had said he was
getting another cashier.
498
00:20:12,779 --> 00:20:15,782
Whoever it was, they would
have to be better than Stacy.
499
00:20:15,815 --> 00:20:17,917
Hey, Lionel Richie,
you're late.
500
00:20:17,950 --> 00:20:20,287
Get busy. Scrub floor.
501
00:20:20,320 --> 00:20:23,256
* Everybody hates Chris.
502
00:20:23,290 --> 00:20:25,858
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