Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:15,598 --> 00:00:17,057
I love a good panel.
2
00:00:17,058 --> 00:00:18,475
Krusty clearly hates
being there,
3
00:00:18,476 --> 00:00:21,437
but he still gets super mad
when anyone but him talks.
4
00:00:21,438 --> 00:00:24,523
Please welcome
the legendary stars
5
00:00:24,524 --> 00:00:26,900
of the Krusty the Clown Show.
6
00:00:26,901 --> 00:00:28,360
(cheering)
7
00:00:28,361 --> 00:00:29,653
Hey-hey!
8
00:00:29,654 --> 00:00:32,239
And a non-writing producer.
9
00:00:32,240 --> 00:00:33,907
Ooh, non-writing.
10
00:00:33,908 --> 00:00:35,659
Hey-hey, kids!
11
00:00:35,660 --> 00:00:37,453
ALL:
Hey-hey, Krusty!
12
00:00:37,454 --> 00:00:41,039
Have we got a great panel
planned for you today.
13
00:00:41,040 --> 00:00:43,000
What is it, Howard,
the usual crap?
14
00:00:43,001 --> 00:00:46,629
Oh, yeah,
that'll kill some time.
15
00:00:49,299 --> 00:00:52,092
(audience screams)
16
00:00:52,093 --> 00:00:53,469
(grunting)
17
00:00:53,470 --> 00:00:56,930
Kids, call the police!
This isn't a sketch!
18
00:00:56,931 --> 00:00:58,015
(groans)
19
00:00:58,016 --> 00:00:59,016
Ah.
20
00:00:59,017 --> 00:01:00,350
My legs!
21
00:01:00,351 --> 00:01:02,144
Stick to the script.
22
00:01:02,145 --> 00:01:04,313
(straining):
Ladies and gentlemen,
23
00:01:04,314 --> 00:01:07,065
Miami Sound Machine.
24
00:01:07,066 --> 00:01:08,318
♪ Come on, shake... ♪
25
00:01:09,944 --> 00:01:11,528
Where do you come up
with your ideas?
26
00:01:11,529 --> 00:01:13,447
I'm a genius. Next.
27
00:01:13,448 --> 00:01:16,784
- Are there any plans...
- BOTH: For another Krusty movie?
28
00:01:16,785 --> 00:01:19,661
We're waiting for a story
that needs to be told.
29
00:01:19,662 --> 00:01:23,081
Once we see that, we'll copy it
and call it a parody.
30
00:01:23,082 --> 00:01:25,250
Oy. Does anyone have a question
31
00:01:25,251 --> 00:01:27,629
that hasn't been asked
a thousand times?
32
00:01:29,714 --> 00:01:32,591
I have the worst fans
in the world.
33
00:01:32,592 --> 00:01:34,718
Now we've got a big surprise
34
00:01:34,719 --> 00:01:37,471
for the best fans in the world!
35
00:01:37,472 --> 00:01:39,765
We're making some big changes
36
00:01:39,766 --> 00:01:41,893
to your favorite cartoon.
37
00:01:43,436 --> 00:01:45,229
- (audience gasps)
- MAN: It's different.
38
00:01:45,230 --> 00:01:49,107
It's an all-female reboot
of Itchy & Scratchy!
39
00:01:49,108 --> 00:01:52,611
BOTH:
Oh, my God!
40
00:01:52,612 --> 00:01:56,031
Pretty enlightened, eh, kids?
We here at the Krusty Show
41
00:01:56,032 --> 00:01:58,075
really care
about gender diversity.
42
00:01:58,076 --> 00:02:01,870
Ask anyone: our lawyers,
our attorneys, anyone.
43
00:02:01,871 --> 00:02:03,413
A girl Itchy & Scratchy?
44
00:02:03,414 --> 00:02:05,457
No, no, no, this can't be.
45
00:02:05,458 --> 00:02:07,709
They've ruined my childhood.
46
00:02:07,710 --> 00:02:09,962
Your childhood
is currently happening.
47
00:02:09,963 --> 00:02:11,213
That's how I know.
48
00:02:11,214 --> 00:02:12,840
It doesn't make any sense.
49
00:02:12,841 --> 00:02:15,467
In real life,
Itchy and Scratchy are dudes.
50
00:02:15,468 --> 00:02:18,178
Girl mice don't have
the upper body strength
51
00:02:18,179 --> 00:02:19,388
to wield a chain saw.
52
00:02:19,389 --> 00:02:21,557
Is truth dead?
53
00:02:21,558 --> 00:02:23,642
BOYS:
Boo!
54
00:02:23,643 --> 00:02:26,812
Ah, you boys are leaving me
for video games anyway.
55
00:02:26,813 --> 00:02:29,231
Zap, zap, zap,
you'll all die alone.
56
00:02:29,232 --> 00:02:31,108
Girl power is where it's at.
57
00:02:31,109 --> 00:02:33,360
That movie where Superman
was a chick
58
00:02:33,361 --> 00:02:36,530
made a megillah of shekels.
Am I right, ladies?
59
00:02:36,531 --> 00:02:38,323
(girls cheering)
60
00:02:38,324 --> 00:02:40,450
See? Girls like my pandering.
61
00:02:40,451 --> 00:02:43,161
Remember this if there's
ever a gender war.
62
00:02:43,162 --> 00:02:45,163
Oh, this is the worst change
63
00:02:45,164 --> 00:02:47,374
Krusty's ever made to the show,
64
00:02:47,375 --> 00:02:50,294
even worse than
Sideshow Leonard Cohen.
65
00:02:50,295 --> 00:02:51,962
When girl Itchy & Scratchy
comes on,
66
00:02:51,963 --> 00:02:53,505
we should totally hate-watch it.
67
00:02:53,506 --> 00:02:55,966
No, everybody come over
to my house,
68
00:02:55,967 --> 00:02:57,759
and we'll turn off
the TV the second
69
00:02:57,760 --> 00:02:59,011
that girl cartoon comes on.
70
00:02:59,012 --> 00:03:01,263
We'll hate-not-watch it.
71
00:03:01,264 --> 00:03:03,682
Yeah! Hate-not-watch!
72
00:03:03,683 --> 00:03:06,227
Yeah, that won't not show 'em.
73
00:03:07,896 --> 00:03:10,063
I never really thought
about Itchy and Scratchy
74
00:03:10,064 --> 00:03:14,026
as male or female, but it is
cool that they're girls now.
75
00:03:14,027 --> 00:03:16,111
I always thought
they were a married couple,
76
00:03:16,112 --> 00:03:18,030
and that's why
they fought so much.
77
00:03:18,031 --> 00:03:20,449
Mom, they're different species.
78
00:03:20,450 --> 00:03:23,453
I don't know what to be
liberal about anymore.
79
00:03:24,913 --> 00:03:27,915
I am so pumped to hate-not-watch
Itchy & Scratchy.
80
00:03:27,916 --> 00:03:30,459
I've not popped the popcorn,
the lights are not turned down.
81
00:03:30,460 --> 00:03:32,085
Perfect.
82
00:03:32,086 --> 00:03:34,796
Listen, son, I'm proud that
you're starting to hate things,
83
00:03:34,797 --> 00:03:36,131
but take it slow.
84
00:03:36,132 --> 00:03:38,467
If you use up all your hate
when you're young,
85
00:03:38,468 --> 00:03:42,179
one day you'll be an old man
who likes things that suck.
86
00:03:42,180 --> 00:03:44,097
ANNOUNCER (on TV):
Tonight, cabbage.
87
00:03:44,098 --> 00:03:46,892
It is a lovely shade of gray,
88
00:03:46,893 --> 00:03:49,103
and just look at the wrinklin.
89
00:03:50,480 --> 00:03:54,024
All I'm saying is, if they ever
make a female Mr. Magoo,
90
00:03:54,025 --> 00:03:56,777
I will lose it,
I will just lose it!
91
00:03:56,778 --> 00:03:58,028
KRUSTY (on TV):
Hey-hey, kids!
92
00:03:58,029 --> 00:04:00,238
It's time to tickle
your funny bones
93
00:04:00,239 --> 00:04:04,159
and your Equal Employment
Opportunity Commission bones
94
00:04:04,160 --> 00:04:07,162
by presenting
the all-new, all-female
95
00:04:07,163 --> 00:04:09,164
Itchy & Scratchy!
96
00:04:09,165 --> 00:04:11,792
Now to sit in silence
till it's over.
97
00:04:11,793 --> 00:04:13,962
Blindfolds on, gentlemen.
98
00:04:16,756 --> 00:04:18,256
This is Lisa Simpson,
99
00:04:18,257 --> 00:04:21,176
recording my reaction
to this historic moment
100
00:04:21,177 --> 00:04:23,804
in cartoon women's history.
101
00:04:23,805 --> 00:04:26,306
SINGERS:
♪ They fight, they bite ♪
102
00:04:26,307 --> 00:04:28,141
♪ They bite and fight and bite,
bite, bite, bite ♪
103
00:04:28,142 --> 00:04:29,559
KRUSTY:
♪ Now they're girls ♪
104
00:04:29,560 --> 00:04:31,019
SINGERS:
♪ The Itchy & Scratchy ♪
105
00:04:31,020 --> 00:04:32,313
KRUSTY:
♪ Girls! ♪
106
00:04:35,483 --> 00:04:36,985
May I?
107
00:04:44,742 --> 00:04:48,120
♪ I got my ticket
for the long way 'round ♪
108
00:04:48,121 --> 00:04:50,664
♪ Two bottle o' whiskey
for the way ♪
109
00:04:50,665 --> 00:04:52,791
(in distance):
♪ And I sure would like ♪
110
00:04:52,792 --> 00:04:54,334
♪ Some sweet company ♪
111
00:04:54,335 --> 00:04:56,336
♪ And I'm leaving tomorrow ♪
112
00:04:56,337 --> 00:04:58,463
♪ What do you say? ♪
113
00:04:58,464 --> 00:05:02,259
-(laughing)
-♪ When I'm gone,
when I'm gone ♪
114
00:05:02,260 --> 00:05:05,053
♪ You're gonna miss me
when I'm gone ♪
115
00:05:05,054 --> 00:05:07,806
-(laughing)
-♪ You're gonna miss me by my
hair, you're gonna miss me... ♪
116
00:05:07,807 --> 00:05:11,643
Ha-ha! I knew you couldn't
resist watching.
117
00:05:11,644 --> 00:05:15,230
And guess what, you laughed!
It was funny.
118
00:05:15,231 --> 00:05:17,065
I-I wasn't laughing.
119
00:05:17,066 --> 00:05:20,695
I-I was crying a-and burping!
120
00:05:22,322 --> 00:05:24,906
And... open.
121
00:05:24,907 --> 00:05:26,324
We did it.
122
00:05:26,325 --> 00:05:28,660
We prejudged something
without giving it a chance.
123
00:05:28,661 --> 00:05:31,038
I am so proud of us.
124
00:05:31,039 --> 00:05:34,708
Like Bart Simpson would ever
watch a girl Itchy & Scratchy.
125
00:05:34,709 --> 00:05:37,252
Never gonna happen.
126
00:05:37,253 --> 00:05:38,503
- (grunting)
- Yeah.
127
00:05:38,504 --> 00:05:41,465
That little liar.
If only people could know
128
00:05:41,466 --> 00:05:44,384
that Bart laughed
even harder than I did...
129
00:05:44,385 --> 00:05:45,927
(gasps)
130
00:05:45,928 --> 00:05:48,597
All right,
you soda-squirting hypocrite,
131
00:05:48,598 --> 00:05:51,391
I know exactly what to do
with this video.
132
00:05:51,392 --> 00:05:53,394
♪ ♪
133
00:05:57,982 --> 00:05:59,983
TOSHUA JOSH (on TV):
Welcome to Josh.0,
134
00:05:59,984 --> 00:06:02,819
the show for people who want
to look at the Internet
135
00:06:02,820 --> 00:06:05,280
but don't have a computer
or a phone.
136
00:06:05,281 --> 00:06:08,492
You know what bugs me
about old guys at the gym?
137
00:06:08,493 --> 00:06:11,912
They always forget
to wipe down the machine.
138
00:06:11,913 --> 00:06:14,706
(laughing):
He means the blood.
139
00:06:14,707 --> 00:06:18,460
Now, this boy says he hates
all-girl Itchy & Scratchy,
140
00:06:18,461 --> 00:06:20,378
but then this happened...
141
00:06:20,379 --> 00:06:22,923
(laughing)
142
00:06:22,924 --> 00:06:25,133
Bart, you got to see this!
143
00:06:25,134 --> 00:06:27,552
Some old guy at a gym
got hit by a boat!
144
00:06:27,553 --> 00:06:31,306
Also, now everyone knows you're
the world's biggest hypocrite.
145
00:06:31,307 --> 00:06:33,308
(laughing)
146
00:06:33,309 --> 00:06:37,062
(laughing):
You said you weren't gonna
watch it,
147
00:06:37,063 --> 00:06:39,898
and then you did
and you loved it!
148
00:06:39,899 --> 00:06:44,069
Then you got busted and I called
you in here and laughed at you!
149
00:06:44,070 --> 00:06:47,155
And I'm still doing it!
150
00:06:47,156 --> 00:06:49,032
Look at you.
151
00:06:49,033 --> 00:06:51,034
What a jerk.
152
00:06:51,035 --> 00:06:52,036
(Bart groans)
153
00:06:57,583 --> 00:07:01,169
Well, Bart, how does it feel
to be trolled, memed, giffed,
154
00:07:01,170 --> 00:07:03,463
and, dare I say, pwned?
155
00:07:03,464 --> 00:07:05,090
How do you know those words?
156
00:07:05,091 --> 00:07:07,551
I read about them
in Parade magazine.
157
00:07:07,552 --> 00:07:10,387
Big deal, I was exposed
as a liar on the Internet.
158
00:07:10,388 --> 00:07:13,890
I've got so much cred built up,
nothing can take me down.
159
00:07:13,891 --> 00:07:16,017
You betrayed us, Bart.
160
00:07:16,018 --> 00:07:19,020
And worse, you betrayed
your own wang.
161
00:07:19,021 --> 00:07:22,065
You know what?
Yes, I laughed at a cartoon.
162
00:07:22,066 --> 00:07:23,984
Why? Because it was funny.
163
00:07:23,985 --> 00:07:25,861
So what if Itchy and Scratchy
are girls?
164
00:07:25,862 --> 00:07:28,655
I laughed, and you can't
take back the laugh.
165
00:07:28,656 --> 00:07:29,990
Girls aren't funny.
166
00:07:29,991 --> 00:07:32,033
They're hot or moms.
167
00:07:32,034 --> 00:07:33,034
Or both.
168
00:07:33,035 --> 00:07:35,412
Girls stole Itchy and Scratchy.
169
00:07:35,413 --> 00:07:38,665
What are they gonna take next,
our body spray?
170
00:07:38,666 --> 00:07:40,792
Our puka shell necklaces?
171
00:07:40,793 --> 00:07:42,544
- Yeah!
- Lame!
172
00:07:42,545 --> 00:07:46,006
Girls get everything:
bigger, softer baseballs,
173
00:07:46,007 --> 00:07:49,593
chick flicks,
two-piece bathing suits,
174
00:07:49,594 --> 00:07:51,469
and on House Hunters
International,
175
00:07:51,470 --> 00:07:54,181
they always choose
the house that she wants.
176
00:07:54,182 --> 00:07:56,600
He's right.
The wife gets the beach view,
177
00:07:56,601 --> 00:07:59,477
but it's always a longer commute
for the husband.
178
00:07:59,478 --> 00:08:01,229
- You know, you're right.
- Oh, yeah.
179
00:08:01,230 --> 00:08:02,564
You guys see what's happening?
180
00:08:02,565 --> 00:08:04,774
You're listening to Milhouse!
181
00:08:04,775 --> 00:08:07,360
So? Maybe we are.
182
00:08:07,361 --> 00:08:09,863
MILHOUSE:
They are listening to me.
183
00:08:09,864 --> 00:08:13,658
The next thing I say
must be perfectly chosen
184
00:08:13,659 --> 00:08:16,494
to show I am worthy
of leadership.
185
00:08:16,495 --> 00:08:17,787
Get him!
186
00:08:17,788 --> 00:08:19,915
(shouting)
187
00:08:19,916 --> 00:08:21,917
(panting)
188
00:08:21,918 --> 00:08:23,920
(groans)
189
00:08:25,171 --> 00:08:26,923
(groans)
190
00:08:34,764 --> 00:08:36,264
- (boys growling)
- (Bart gasps)
191
00:08:36,265 --> 00:08:38,516
(hissing)
192
00:08:38,517 --> 00:08:42,270
(gasps) Sixth graders. Tweens.
193
00:08:42,271 --> 00:08:45,023
What are you doing
in the girl's room, Seat Soaker?
194
00:08:45,024 --> 00:08:47,025
No, no, I didn't mean
to come in here.
195
00:08:47,026 --> 00:08:48,610
I need sanctuary.
196
00:08:48,611 --> 00:08:52,072
Hey, you guys have
a candy machine? No fair.
197
00:08:52,073 --> 00:08:54,407
Spin him till he barfs.
198
00:08:54,408 --> 00:08:55,909
Ah!
199
00:08:55,910 --> 00:08:58,119
I'm full of hummus and milk!
200
00:08:58,120 --> 00:09:00,164
(groaning)
201
00:09:02,416 --> 00:09:04,292
Pink spray paint?
202
00:09:04,293 --> 00:09:07,629
Give that back.
That's for Skinner's office.
203
00:09:07,630 --> 00:09:10,257
You tell anyone about this,
you're canceled.
204
00:09:10,258 --> 00:09:12,759
Charlie Rose canceled.
205
00:09:12,760 --> 00:09:16,430
No, no, no, you can trust me.
I'm not just any fourth grader.
206
00:09:17,431 --> 00:09:20,600
Whoa, this dude's El Barto.
207
00:09:20,601 --> 00:09:24,229
Huh, I always thought it was
that fifth grader, Eloise Barto.
208
00:09:24,230 --> 00:09:26,189
Yeah, sometimes
I get her e-mail.
209
00:09:26,190 --> 00:09:28,733
You know, if you fill up
a leaf blower with paint,
210
00:09:28,734 --> 00:09:30,610
you can coat
Skinner's whole office.
211
00:09:30,611 --> 00:09:33,029
- Duh.
- Double duh.
212
00:09:33,030 --> 00:09:35,573
Where are we gonna get
a leaf blower?
213
00:09:35,574 --> 00:09:37,158
Willie's shack.
214
00:09:37,159 --> 00:09:38,494
(sound of bagpipes playing)
215
00:09:40,830 --> 00:09:43,415
Whoa, homemade prank masks.
216
00:09:43,416 --> 00:09:45,167
The knit is on.
217
00:09:48,129 --> 00:09:51,172
This'll teach Skinner
to ban sandals.
218
00:09:51,173 --> 00:09:53,800
Oh, he will not
silence our toes.
219
00:09:53,801 --> 00:09:55,343
Hurry, Skinner's almost back
220
00:09:55,344 --> 00:09:57,262
from his lunchtime
dog-walking job.
221
00:09:57,263 --> 00:09:59,431
(humming)
222
00:09:59,432 --> 00:10:01,392
(door opens)
223
00:10:03,269 --> 00:10:05,645
I will not negotiate
with terrorists.
224
00:10:05,646 --> 00:10:08,566
I'll just give in.
Sandals unbanned.
225
00:10:10,359 --> 00:10:14,154
Ladies, that was smooth,
Barbie smooth.
226
00:10:14,155 --> 00:10:15,947
So smooth.
227
00:10:15,948 --> 00:10:18,283
Hey, why are you still here,
truck-nuts?
228
00:10:18,284 --> 00:10:20,285
Whoa, is this your hideout?
229
00:10:20,286 --> 00:10:22,120
It's the old Home Ec classroom,
230
00:10:22,121 --> 00:10:23,788
where they would brainwash girls
231
00:10:23,789 --> 00:10:25,415
into being good
little housewives,
232
00:10:25,416 --> 00:10:27,000
but now it's our war room.
233
00:10:27,001 --> 00:10:29,419
Also, we cook here,
234
00:10:29,420 --> 00:10:30,962
we do a little bit of sewing.
235
00:10:30,963 --> 00:10:32,797
Stop telling him things!
236
00:10:32,798 --> 00:10:35,133
Cooties be damned,
you girls are badass
237
00:10:35,134 --> 00:10:36,676
and your pranks are next level.
238
00:10:36,677 --> 00:10:38,762
Take a seat and learn something.
239
00:10:38,763 --> 00:10:40,930
We don't do "pranks,"
240
00:10:40,931 --> 00:10:43,099
we drop awareness bombs.
241
00:10:43,100 --> 00:10:46,561
Our protest crew
is called Bossy Riot.
242
00:10:46,562 --> 00:10:48,355
We're pushing back
against the pushback,
243
00:10:48,356 --> 00:10:50,357
starting with this school.
244
00:10:50,358 --> 00:10:53,318
Look at this his-tory book.
245
00:10:53,319 --> 00:10:54,945
BART:
Cool shades.
246
00:10:58,074 --> 00:11:00,784
That is textbook
textbook shredding.
247
00:11:00,785 --> 00:11:02,660
Now do you see
what we're doing here?
248
00:11:02,661 --> 00:11:04,788
I think I do.
249
00:11:04,789 --> 00:11:09,000
You're sticking it to the man,
but this time, the man is men.
250
00:11:09,001 --> 00:11:11,044
Look, you got to let me
join your gang.
251
00:11:11,045 --> 00:11:13,713
You know, if we're really
serious about gender equality,
252
00:11:13,714 --> 00:11:16,257
it's only right
that a boy be our servant.
253
00:11:16,258 --> 00:11:20,845
Okay, No-varies, you're in,
if you pass this test...
254
00:11:20,846 --> 00:11:23,681
Steal Skinner's cell phone.
255
00:11:23,682 --> 00:11:25,558
Work or personal?
256
00:11:25,559 --> 00:11:27,395
- CHALMERS: Skinner!
- AGNES: Seymour!
257
00:11:28,479 --> 00:11:30,481
Welcome to girlhood.
258
00:11:35,194 --> 00:11:37,070
Gentlemen, our way of life
259
00:11:37,071 --> 00:11:39,364
- is under attack.
- Hear, hear!
260
00:11:39,365 --> 00:11:42,659
Society is trying to erase boys.
261
00:11:42,660 --> 00:11:45,829
They give us drugs that make us
do girly things,
262
00:11:45,830 --> 00:11:47,664
like pay attention.
263
00:11:47,665 --> 00:11:50,625
They're putting drugs
in our medication?
264
00:11:50,626 --> 00:11:52,043
We need to band together.
265
00:11:52,044 --> 00:11:54,671
Like a sorority, but for dudes.
266
00:11:54,672 --> 00:11:58,550
I give you
the Boys Rights Association.
267
00:11:58,551 --> 00:12:00,844
- BOYS: BRA!
- B-R-A.
268
00:12:00,845 --> 00:12:02,971
-Right now,
we're just training BRAs.
-Mm-hmm.
269
00:12:02,972 --> 00:12:05,390
But soon,
we'll be the strongest,
270
00:12:05,391 --> 00:12:08,977
most supportive BRAs
anyone has ever seen.
271
00:12:08,978 --> 00:12:12,939
(chanting):
We are BRAs! We are BRAs!
272
00:12:12,940 --> 00:12:15,900
Our son has one, two...
(gasps)
273
00:12:15,901 --> 00:12:17,944
...eight friends.
274
00:12:17,945 --> 00:12:21,281
They're more than just friends,
he's-he's the leader.
275
00:12:21,282 --> 00:12:22,866
(exhales)
276
00:12:22,867 --> 00:12:24,993
I'm feeling this wave of relief,
277
00:12:24,994 --> 00:12:27,245
not worrying about
my son's social life.
278
00:12:27,246 --> 00:12:31,958
I can stop being a mother
and start being a... a woman.
279
00:12:31,959 --> 00:12:34,919
(exhales)
Say it. Say it again.
280
00:12:34,920 --> 00:12:37,923
Our son has friends.
281
00:12:40,301 --> 00:12:43,761
♪ Old folks say
"You poor little fool" ♪
282
00:12:43,762 --> 00:12:47,557
♪ Down the streets,
I'm the girl next door ♪
283
00:12:47,558 --> 00:12:50,560
♪ I'm the fox
you've been waiting for ♪
284
00:12:50,561 --> 00:12:53,730
♪ Hello, Daddy, hello, Mom ♪
285
00:12:53,731 --> 00:12:57,484
♪ I'm your
ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-cherry bomb ♪
286
00:12:57,485 --> 00:13:00,778
♪ Hello, world,
I'm your wild girl ♪
287
00:13:00,779 --> 00:13:04,782
♪ I'm your
ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-cherry bomb ♪
288
00:13:04,783 --> 00:13:07,994
♪ Stone Age love
and strange sounds, too... ♪
289
00:13:07,995 --> 00:13:11,164
This is why I sit.
290
00:13:11,165 --> 00:13:14,792
♪ Bad nights causing
teenage blues ♪
291
00:13:14,793 --> 00:13:18,796
♪ Get down, ladies,
you've got nothing to lose ♪
292
00:13:18,797 --> 00:13:21,674
♪ Hello, Daddy, hello, Mom ♪
293
00:13:21,675 --> 00:13:26,387
♪ I'm your
ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-cherry bomb... ♪
294
00:13:26,388 --> 00:13:27,555
BROCKMAN:
Springfield,
295
00:13:27,556 --> 00:13:29,140
a town living in fear,
296
00:13:29,141 --> 00:13:32,227
as masked pranksters
calling themselves "Bossy Riot,"
297
00:13:32,228 --> 00:13:34,646
spread their terrifying message
of female empowerment.
298
00:13:34,647 --> 00:13:37,982
The latest victim of this "gal
Qaeda," our once-proud symbol
299
00:13:37,983 --> 00:13:40,818
of the portly
pastry-purveying patriarchy.
300
00:13:40,819 --> 00:13:42,820
HOMER:
"Lard Lady"?
301
00:13:42,821 --> 00:13:46,324
But a donut is the ultimate
symbol of masculinity.
302
00:13:46,325 --> 00:13:49,202
The only lead police have
as to the identity of Bossy Riot
303
00:13:49,203 --> 00:13:51,538
is this security camera footage.
304
00:13:51,539 --> 00:13:53,456
(Homer laughs)
305
00:13:53,457 --> 00:13:55,459
HOMER:
Moe and his bats.
306
00:13:57,378 --> 00:13:59,128
Bossy Riot is so cool.
307
00:13:59,129 --> 00:14:01,089
We need fearless
female activists
308
00:14:01,090 --> 00:14:04,551
to fight back against misogyny
and man-spreading.
309
00:14:04,552 --> 00:14:08,263
Well, whoever they are,
they are the coolest badasses
310
00:14:08,264 --> 00:14:11,766
this town has ever seen,
whoever they are.
311
00:14:11,767 --> 00:14:14,227
Ooh, Bart winked at me.
312
00:14:14,228 --> 00:14:16,854
I must be in on a joke.
(chuckles)
313
00:14:16,855 --> 00:14:18,357
- (Bart humming)
- Hmm...
314
00:14:20,359 --> 00:14:24,612
- (screams)
- Bart, are you in Bossy Riot?
315
00:14:24,613 --> 00:14:26,698
- No way.
- Ah, good.
316
00:14:26,699 --> 00:14:28,992
Because if you were fighting
for women's rights,
317
00:14:28,993 --> 00:14:32,787
it would destroy my entire
vision of the universe.
318
00:14:32,788 --> 00:14:34,832
- Actually, I totally am.
- (shouts)
319
00:14:39,253 --> 00:14:41,296
You can't be an activist
for women's rights.
320
00:14:41,297 --> 00:14:43,089
You don't know anything
about the feminist cause.
321
00:14:43,090 --> 00:14:45,174
Sure I do.
Chicks get a raw deal.
322
00:14:45,175 --> 00:14:47,677
I'm a little fuzzy on the deets,
but take my word for it.
323
00:14:47,678 --> 00:14:51,014
(groans) It's all about
the deets. You're not a girl.
324
00:14:51,015 --> 00:14:54,058
-You just want to spray-paint
the world and watch it drip.
-Mm-hmm.
325
00:14:54,059 --> 00:14:57,145
You've never been called shrill
just because you speak up.
326
00:14:57,146 --> 00:15:01,065
And-and girls' clothing
has no pockets,
327
00:15:01,066 --> 00:15:03,735
while yours are lousy
with pockets!
328
00:15:03,736 --> 00:15:06,238
This is good stuff,
I got to write it down.
329
00:15:09,199 --> 00:15:11,576
(Bart humming)
330
00:15:11,577 --> 00:15:13,786
This is someone else's war,
331
00:15:13,787 --> 00:15:17,165
and you,
y-you're just a mercenary.
332
00:15:17,166 --> 00:15:19,459
Mercenaries are cool,
like Boba Fett.
333
00:15:19,460 --> 00:15:23,171
Oh, yeah, Boba Fett,
great character.
334
00:15:23,172 --> 00:15:26,591
Boba Fett's badass.
He wears a jetpack and a cape.
335
00:15:26,592 --> 00:15:28,092
Pick a lane, weirdo.
336
00:15:28,093 --> 00:15:30,219
Why does every discussion
about feminism
337
00:15:30,220 --> 00:15:32,930
turn into an argument
about Star Wars?
338
00:15:32,931 --> 00:15:34,974
If Boba Fett's such
a great bounty hunter,
339
00:15:34,975 --> 00:15:37,477
why is his armor all banged up?
340
00:15:37,478 --> 00:15:40,938
(sighs) It's a look,
like distressed denim.
341
00:15:40,939 --> 00:15:42,940
You shouldn't be
part of a protest
342
00:15:42,941 --> 00:15:45,193
if you don't care
about the cause.
343
00:15:45,194 --> 00:15:47,945
Well, you care.
Why don't you come with?
344
00:15:47,946 --> 00:15:49,614
Maybe I will.
345
00:15:49,615 --> 00:15:51,991
Great. Bring black gloves
and no ID.
346
00:15:51,992 --> 00:15:53,493
You've been Tasered
before, right?
347
00:15:53,494 --> 00:15:55,119
It only hurts
until you pass out.
348
00:15:55,120 --> 00:15:57,580
I'm excited;
I want to, I do, but...
349
00:15:57,581 --> 00:15:59,582
there's a part of me
that's scared,
350
00:15:59,583 --> 00:16:03,127
and that part is my body
and my head.
351
00:16:03,128 --> 00:16:04,420
It's okay, I get it.
352
00:16:04,421 --> 00:16:06,130
There's nothing wrong
with being all talk.
353
00:16:06,131 --> 00:16:08,508
Us feminists need
cheerleaders, too.
354
00:16:08,509 --> 00:16:09,551
(groans)
355
00:16:11,053 --> 00:16:14,222
So, what's up, my fellow
Ruthless Bader Ginsburgs?
356
00:16:14,223 --> 00:16:16,391
What's on the a-gender
for the evening?
357
00:16:16,392 --> 00:16:19,894
Your friends in the so-called
"Boys Rights Association"
358
00:16:19,895 --> 00:16:22,188
have been protesting
The Krusty Show.
359
00:16:22,189 --> 00:16:24,899
I told you
not to light the toys yet.
360
00:16:24,900 --> 00:16:28,361
I didn't,
they just burst into flames.
361
00:16:28,362 --> 00:16:31,072
Krusty caved.
He said he'd never show
362
00:16:31,073 --> 00:16:34,158
another all-girl
Itchy & Scratchy ever again.
363
00:16:34,159 --> 00:16:37,161
So we're gonna destroy
the master tapes
364
00:16:37,162 --> 00:16:39,872
of every Itchy & Scratchy.
365
00:16:39,873 --> 00:16:41,165
Wait, what? No.
366
00:16:41,166 --> 00:16:42,792
I love those cartoons.
367
00:16:42,793 --> 00:16:44,460
I can't let you do it.
368
00:16:44,461 --> 00:16:46,964
Oh, you can't "let" us?
369
00:16:50,092 --> 00:16:52,218
Don't have a lady cow.
370
00:16:52,219 --> 00:16:56,014
All cows are ladies.
371
00:17:00,936 --> 00:17:03,730
That thing you said about me
being all talk?
372
00:17:03,731 --> 00:17:07,191
Well, I have prepared
two comebacks,
373
00:17:07,192 --> 00:17:09,485
and I will now give you both.
374
00:17:09,486 --> 00:17:13,072
Those girls are gonna destroy
every Itchy & Scratchy, forever!
375
00:17:13,073 --> 00:17:16,075
(grunting)
376
00:17:16,076 --> 00:17:18,077
Hey, hey, boys and boys!
377
00:17:18,078 --> 00:17:19,912
Well, congratulations,
378
00:17:19,913 --> 00:17:23,124
I'm never gonna air the girl
Itchy & Scratchy again.
379
00:17:23,125 --> 00:17:27,754
You hit me where it hurts
the most: right in the sponsors.
380
00:17:27,755 --> 00:17:29,048
Buy 'em all.
381
00:17:34,219 --> 00:17:36,263
(gasps)
We're too late.
382
00:17:38,766 --> 00:17:42,226
They're going to destroy
the tapes on live TV.
383
00:17:42,227 --> 00:17:44,228
Let's get him
out of those bras and go.
384
00:17:44,229 --> 00:17:48,357
Uh, no, you can leave me
like this. I'm good.
385
00:17:48,358 --> 00:17:50,067
We are Bossy Riot,
386
00:17:50,068 --> 00:17:53,446
and we're gonna drop all
the original Itchy & Scratchys
387
00:17:53,447 --> 00:17:56,491
into a pool
of nail polish remover.
388
00:17:56,492 --> 00:17:57,701
(all gasping)
389
00:18:00,329 --> 00:18:04,123
That's crazy. We have those
backed up a thousand times.
390
00:18:04,124 --> 00:18:06,125
Right, Howard?
391
00:18:06,126 --> 00:18:09,128
What do you do?!
392
00:18:09,129 --> 00:18:11,130
Don't do it.
Those shows are funny.
393
00:18:11,131 --> 00:18:13,007
Mice killing cats,
guts everywhere.
394
00:18:13,008 --> 00:18:16,052
It doesn't matter
if it's boy guts or girl guts.
395
00:18:16,053 --> 00:18:17,428
Guts are guts.
396
00:18:17,429 --> 00:18:19,639
See, the thing
about comedy is...
397
00:18:19,640 --> 00:18:22,225
Bart, stop mansplaining!
398
00:18:22,226 --> 00:18:23,851
No, no, no, no,
if I keep talking,
399
00:18:23,852 --> 00:18:25,604
they'll get it eventually.
400
00:18:31,193 --> 00:18:32,486
(grunts)
401
00:18:37,032 --> 00:18:39,325
The fumes are burning my eyes.
402
00:18:39,326 --> 00:18:43,162
(all crying)
403
00:18:43,163 --> 00:18:47,124
Look, they're crying,
on live TV.
404
00:18:47,125 --> 00:18:50,127
Glitterize their tears.
405
00:18:50,128 --> 00:18:52,130
Mama!
406
00:19:07,938 --> 00:19:10,690
Don't worry, sir,
your brothers are united
407
00:19:10,691 --> 00:19:12,900
in blaming this on you.
408
00:19:12,901 --> 00:19:14,861
(shouting in agreement)
409
00:19:14,862 --> 00:19:16,864
(groans)
410
00:19:19,908 --> 00:19:21,868
Hey, hey! Come back here!
411
00:19:21,869 --> 00:19:24,579
You there, sweet innocent girls,
412
00:19:24,580 --> 00:19:28,082
did you see three crazed
man-haters run through here?
413
00:19:28,083 --> 00:19:30,960
Gee, Officer,
they went that way.
414
00:19:30,961 --> 00:19:33,087
Thanks, princess. Thank you.
415
00:19:33,088 --> 00:19:35,298
Wait a second.
416
00:19:35,299 --> 00:19:38,718
Do any of you babysit?
417
00:19:38,719 --> 00:19:40,595
Great. Be at my house
Saturday at 7:00.
418
00:19:40,596 --> 00:19:43,097
And if Ralph asks you
to give him a bath,
419
00:19:43,098 --> 00:19:45,391
do not give him a bath.
420
00:19:45,392 --> 00:19:48,060
So I guess I'm not
in the group anymore.
421
00:19:48,061 --> 00:19:50,229
You were never in the group.
422
00:19:50,230 --> 00:19:53,065
We just kept you around
for fingerprints and DNA.
423
00:19:53,066 --> 00:19:56,319
But making those boys cry
was hardcore.
424
00:19:56,320 --> 00:19:59,739
You, uh, ever think
about wearing the yarn?
425
00:19:59,740 --> 00:20:01,699
Me? Join you?
426
00:20:01,700 --> 00:20:04,285
Can I do it?
Can I push my beliefs further
427
00:20:04,286 --> 00:20:06,662
than they've ever gone?
428
00:20:06,663 --> 00:20:08,665
- Well, let us know.
- (clicks tongue)
429
00:20:10,918 --> 00:20:12,920
Mask me.
430
00:20:16,757 --> 00:20:18,675
("Extreme Ways" by Moby playing)
431
00:20:55,587 --> 00:20:57,672
So spill it, Simpson.
You were on the inside.
432
00:20:57,673 --> 00:20:59,465
What's the deal with girls?
433
00:20:59,466 --> 00:21:02,093
Well, check this out:
they also burp.
434
00:21:02,094 --> 00:21:04,095
No way. From where?
435
00:21:04,096 --> 00:21:05,930
Is that even allowed?
436
00:21:05,931 --> 00:21:07,306
Let's see, what else?
437
00:21:07,307 --> 00:21:09,433
They're always telling
each other they're pretty,
438
00:21:09,434 --> 00:21:11,978
their bathroom candy
tastes really weird,
439
00:21:11,979 --> 00:21:14,689
but there's one thing
that really crushed me.
440
00:21:14,690 --> 00:21:16,899
I almost don't want
to say it out loud.
441
00:21:16,900 --> 00:21:18,567
They don't envy us.
442
00:21:18,568 --> 00:21:19,902
- ♪ ♪
- Oh...
443
00:21:19,903 --> 00:21:21,487
(gasps)
444
00:21:21,488 --> 00:21:22,488
(sighs)
445
00:21:22,489 --> 00:21:25,033
(Milhouse sobs quietly)
446
00:21:31,081 --> 00:21:33,083
Captioned by
Media Access Group at WGBH
447
00:21:34,084 --> 00:21:35,502
Shh!
32719
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.
Afrikaans
Albanian
Amharic
Arabic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bengali
Bosnian
Bulgarian
Catalan
Cebuano
Chichewa
Chinese (Simplified)
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Croatian
Danish
Dutch
Esperanto
Estonian
Finnish
French
Frisian
Galician
Georgian
German
Gujarati
Haitian Creole
Hawaiian
Hungarian
Icelandic
Indonesian
Irish
Japanese
Kazakh
Khmer
Kurdish (Kurmanji)
Kyrgyz
Lao
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Maltese
Maori
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Nepali
Norwegian
Pashto
Romanian
Russian
Samoan
Serbian
Sesotho
Shona
Sinhala
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Swahili
Swedish
Tajik
Thai
Turkish
Ukrainian
Urdu
Uzbek
Vietnamese
