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1
00:00:01,000 --> 00:00:02,934
** [harmonica]
2
00:00:05,601 --> 00:00:07,100
Hi.
3
00:00:07,167 --> 00:00:08,300
Hey!
4
00:00:08,367 --> 00:00:10,000
What'd the doctor say?
How's the baby?
5
00:00:10,067 --> 00:00:13,567
Well, she's doing great,
and, uh--pretty weird
6
00:00:13,634 --> 00:00:15,067
She's bigger
than normal.
7
00:00:15,133 --> 00:00:16,667
Go figure.
Ha!
8
00:00:16,734 --> 00:00:19,334
And they say it's bad
to live under power lines.
9
00:00:19,400 --> 00:00:20,434
[snaps fingers]
10
00:00:20,501 --> 00:00:23,667
Yeah, first I felt weird
for gaining 30 pounds.
11
00:00:23,734 --> 00:00:27,734
But now I figure...
most of that weight's
the fetus.
12
00:00:27,801 --> 00:00:30,200
Hello?
13
00:00:30,267 --> 00:00:34,200
Hello, Connor baby!
14
00:00:34,267 --> 00:00:36,133
Oh, man!
15
00:00:36,200 --> 00:00:40,200
[giggles]
That's four inches
of fightin' fury.
16
00:00:40,267 --> 00:00:42,000
Boy, this one
really can kick.
17
00:00:42,067 --> 00:00:46,934
Yeah, yesterday, I got
slapped in the head
with my own boob.
18
00:00:47,000 --> 00:00:50,400
And we're gonna spoil you
rotten, little girl.
19
00:00:50,467 --> 00:00:52,334
Oh, yes, we are!
20
00:00:52,400 --> 00:00:55,267
$1,500 in the bank!
21
00:00:55,334 --> 00:00:58,534
We can afford to buy you
food and water...
22
00:00:58,601 --> 00:01:01,667
and maybe a shiny new
table saw.
23
00:01:01,734 --> 00:01:06,234
That's great, Dan,
except...
24
00:01:06,300 --> 00:01:07,734
that...
25
00:01:07,801 --> 00:01:10,067
we owe the doctor
$2,000.
26
00:01:10,133 --> 00:01:11,234
What?
27
00:01:11,300 --> 00:01:13,901
We have to pre-pay
the cost of having
the baby.
28
00:01:13,968 --> 00:01:16,334
We didn't have to do that
with the first batch.
29
00:01:16,400 --> 00:01:18,234
[sighs] Well, back then
we were broke
30
00:01:18,300 --> 00:01:19,834
and the county
took care of it.
31
00:01:19,901 --> 00:01:21,934
That's why those
kids were free.
32
00:01:22,000 --> 00:01:25,033
And apparently,
you do get what
you pay for.
33
00:01:25,100 --> 00:01:27,501
Hey, we brought in
all the groceries,
34
00:01:27,567 --> 00:01:29,033
but where does
everything go?
35
00:01:29,100 --> 00:01:33,534
Well, the frozen stuff
goes in...the freezer!
36
00:01:33,601 --> 00:01:36,567
And the canned stuff
goes on the shelf.
37
00:01:36,634 --> 00:01:38,000
And that about covers it.
38
00:01:40,200 --> 00:01:42,868
Boy, it's gonna be tight.
39
00:01:42,934 --> 00:01:46,634
I wish...we would have
invested better.
40
00:01:46,701 --> 00:01:50,501
Why, oh, why did we stop
buying lottery tickets?
41
00:01:50,567 --> 00:01:54,133
Mom, Dad, we have got
some amazing news.
42
00:01:54,200 --> 00:01:55,501
Mark and I were just
looking for apartments,
43
00:01:55,567 --> 00:01:57,367
and we found, like,
the cutest place to live.
44
00:01:57,434 --> 00:01:59,501
It was available
right away, so...
we just took it.
45
00:01:59,567 --> 00:02:01,000
That's great.
46
00:02:01,067 --> 00:02:04,434
Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes!
47
00:02:04,501 --> 00:02:07,033
Of course we'll miss
having you around and all.
48
00:02:09,200 --> 00:02:13,067
Gee, Dan, I've never
seen you this
deliriously unhappy.
49
00:02:13,133 --> 00:02:14,434
Where's
the apartment at?
50
00:02:14,501 --> 00:02:16,334
Well, that's the best part.
It's not an apartment.
51
00:02:16,400 --> 00:02:18,934
It's a chance for us to buy
something that's really ours.
52
00:02:19,000 --> 00:02:20,601
You're buying
a house?
53
00:02:20,667 --> 00:02:22,033
How can you
afford that?
54
00:02:22,100 --> 00:02:24,534
Because it's
not a house.
55
00:02:24,601 --> 00:02:25,767
It is a trailer!
56
00:02:29,000 --> 00:02:32,100
It is, like, the cutest
little trailer
you have ever seen.
57
00:02:32,167 --> 00:02:33,434
Isn't this incredible?
58
00:02:33,501 --> 00:02:35,901
Yeah. Well...
59
00:02:35,968 --> 00:02:38,834
that's, like,
the best news
I've heard...
60
00:02:38,901 --> 00:02:40,567
since you
married Mark.
61
00:02:44,434 --> 00:02:46,367
** [theme]
62
00:03:25,434 --> 00:03:27,467
[laughs]
63
00:03:36,167 --> 00:03:37,934
Aunt Jackie?
Hmm?
64
00:03:38,000 --> 00:03:39,400
Didn't you wanna
keep this?
65
00:03:39,467 --> 00:03:43,801
No. No. Family things
need to be passed down.
66
00:03:43,868 --> 00:03:45,200
Now...
67
00:03:45,267 --> 00:03:46,801
that's the chair
I was telling you about.
68
00:03:46,868 --> 00:03:50,767
That's one of my favorites,
but I want you to have that.
69
00:03:50,834 --> 00:03:52,968
Well, why haven't I,
like, seen it before?
70
00:03:53,033 --> 00:03:54,000
Um...
71
00:03:54,067 --> 00:03:56,934
Oh, it...works in
so many different rooms
72
00:03:57,000 --> 00:03:59,734
that lately we've just
been keeping it in the garage.
73
00:03:59,801 --> 00:04:01,067
[laughs]
74
00:04:01,133 --> 00:04:02,200
Don't sit on that!
75
00:04:02,267 --> 00:04:03,734
No...
76
00:04:03,801 --> 00:04:07,000
No, that's more
just for looks.
77
00:04:07,067 --> 00:04:09,701
Well, that's certainly
generous of you, Jackie.
78
00:04:09,767 --> 00:04:13,968
Maybe tomorrow you can
bring by your beanless
bean-bag chair.
79
00:04:14,033 --> 00:04:16,634
I'll just run that
inside for ya.
80
00:04:18,734 --> 00:04:20,267
Hey, Beck, did you see
the bathroom door?
81
00:04:20,334 --> 00:04:21,601
It slides into the wall!
82
00:04:21,667 --> 00:04:23,400
Shhhh!
Just like Star Trek.
83
00:04:23,467 --> 00:04:24,701
No way!
84
00:04:26,267 --> 00:04:28,167
Aren't you gonna
come see it, Mom?
85
00:04:28,234 --> 00:04:31,701
No, I hate the future.
86
00:04:31,767 --> 00:04:35,334
Man, oh, man.
I'm beat.
87
00:04:35,400 --> 00:04:36,567
[groans]
88
00:04:36,634 --> 00:04:39,767
Hasn't this just been
a great day?
89
00:04:39,834 --> 00:04:41,367
You sure are chipper?
90
00:04:41,434 --> 00:04:44,734
Yeah, well,
you know, that's my way.
91
00:04:44,801 --> 00:04:46,901
Your oldest daughter's
leaving home.
92
00:04:46,968 --> 00:04:49,601
I just figured
you'd be sad.
93
00:04:49,667 --> 00:04:52,267
Very, very, very, very...
94
00:04:52,334 --> 00:04:54,334
very sad.
95
00:04:54,400 --> 00:04:56,534
It's not like
she's leaving town.
96
00:04:56,601 --> 00:04:59,968
It's like she's gone
camping for the rest
of her life.
97
00:05:01,667 --> 00:05:03,467
My turn.
98
00:05:06,367 --> 00:05:08,334
Ah.
[chuckles]
99
00:05:08,400 --> 00:05:09,868
Remember our
first place?
100
00:05:09,934 --> 00:05:12,033
Yeah, that was a dump.
101
00:05:12,100 --> 00:05:14,200
When are we movin'
out of there?
102
00:05:15,601 --> 00:05:19,100
My sister is moving
into a trailer park.
103
00:05:19,167 --> 00:05:22,334
[laughs]
I can't tell you where I was
the day Kennedy was shot,
104
00:05:22,400 --> 00:05:25,167
but I will always
remember this moment.
105
00:05:25,234 --> 00:05:27,734
I don't think
it's so bad, Darlene.
106
00:05:27,801 --> 00:05:29,901
I mean it's like they're
living in a house...
107
00:05:29,968 --> 00:05:31,267
It's just got wheels.
108
00:05:31,334 --> 00:05:33,033
It's like living
in your car...
109
00:05:33,100 --> 00:05:36,734
only better,
'cause it's,
you know, bigger.
110
00:05:36,801 --> 00:05:39,200
So it's kinda like
living in a bus.
111
00:05:39,267 --> 00:05:40,434
Plus you got
the bathroom.
112
00:05:40,501 --> 00:05:45,167
So it's kinda like
a...really...nice bus.
113
00:05:45,234 --> 00:05:48,901
Yeah, well, pull the cord.
I'm getting off.
114
00:05:48,968 --> 00:05:52,400
Hey, don't make fun
of your sister
living in a trailer.
115
00:05:52,467 --> 00:05:54,167
If it's good enough
for carnival folk,
116
00:05:54,234 --> 00:05:56,234
it's good enough
for the Connors.
117
00:05:59,701 --> 00:06:01,267
Hey!
118
00:06:01,334 --> 00:06:06,434
I certainly hope you're
gonna clean this mess up
when you're done.
119
00:06:06,501 --> 00:06:10,634
You were afraid there would
be no stills nearby.
120
00:06:11,834 --> 00:06:13,868
So, are you the new
owners of this dump?
121
00:06:13,934 --> 00:06:16,467
Do we look like we're
made out of money?
122
00:06:16,534 --> 00:06:18,868
We rent.
123
00:06:18,934 --> 00:06:20,767
Where you from?
124
00:06:20,834 --> 00:06:23,133
We're from Europe.
125
00:06:25,400 --> 00:06:27,701
Unless you got
a problem with that.
126
00:06:29,234 --> 00:06:30,868
We're the Connors.
127
00:06:30,934 --> 00:06:32,234
Hey.
128
00:06:32,300 --> 00:06:34,234
Connors?
129
00:06:34,300 --> 00:06:37,434
Did you ever do time
at Joliet?
130
00:06:38,667 --> 00:06:40,400
No, but I've got
a question for you.
131
00:06:40,467 --> 00:06:42,167
Do you ever
brush your teeth?
132
00:06:42,234 --> 00:06:44,767
Hey, that's personal
information, missy.
133
00:06:44,834 --> 00:06:47,534
We mind our own
beeswax around here.
134
00:06:47,601 --> 00:06:50,167
Well, in that case,
I'm not gonna ask
if that's your kid
135
00:06:50,234 --> 00:06:54,334
sucking on the Windex
bottle over there.
136
00:06:54,400 --> 00:06:55,367
Eddie?
137
00:06:55,434 --> 00:06:58,234
For God's sake,
put that thing down!
138
00:06:58,300 --> 00:07:01,267
And you, you stay away
fro my husband!
139
00:07:01,334 --> 00:07:03,534
[laughs]
Girls let's be neighborly.
140
00:07:03,601 --> 00:07:05,267
Unless, of course,
you wanna swap.
141
00:07:05,334 --> 00:07:06,868
Hey, baby.
142
00:07:06,934 --> 00:07:08,834
Big hunk o-man.
143
00:07:10,667 --> 00:07:12,367
Listen, missy!
144
00:07:12,434 --> 00:07:14,801
We don't know you
and we don't want
to know you,
145
00:07:14,868 --> 00:07:16,467
and here's why!
146
00:07:16,534 --> 00:07:18,200
We're better than you!
[scoffs]
147
00:07:18,267 --> 00:07:22,267
And we almost never get
a chance to say that.
148
00:07:22,334 --> 00:07:25,167
Fine with me, sister!
149
00:07:26,534 --> 00:07:27,734
Here!
150
00:07:27,801 --> 00:07:32,133
It's some coupons and a map
to get around the park.
151
00:07:32,200 --> 00:07:34,801
I'm the welcome wagon.
152
00:07:34,868 --> 00:07:37,434
Welcome, welcome.
153
00:07:40,434 --> 00:07:43,067
Don't you ever feed my dog.
154
00:07:43,133 --> 00:07:47,367
If I get drunk enough,
I'll fight your dog!
155
00:07:49,400 --> 00:07:51,501
Man, is she a snob.
156
00:07:51,567 --> 00:07:52,968
Come on, Darlene.
157
00:07:53,033 --> 00:07:56,300
It won't kill us
to help clean the place.
158
00:07:56,367 --> 00:07:59,501
Unless the wind picks up.
159
00:07:59,567 --> 00:08:02,100
Oh. Uh, everybody's
back in the bedroom.
160
00:08:02,167 --> 00:08:04,501
So you might wanna hang out
in the living room.
161
00:08:04,567 --> 00:08:07,033
'Cause we don't want
the thing to tilt.
162
00:08:10,634 --> 00:08:13,033
Found the perfect spot.
163
00:08:14,701 --> 00:08:16,167
I don't know
about this, Roseanne.
164
00:08:16,234 --> 00:08:17,167
I'm a little worried.
165
00:08:17,234 --> 00:08:18,434
It'll be fine, Dan.
166
00:08:18,501 --> 00:08:22,701
I told you it was
a speed bump you hit,
not a cat.
167
00:08:22,767 --> 00:08:25,701
Oh, I don't know.
Maybe Darlene's right.
168
00:08:25,767 --> 00:08:27,534
Becky doesn't belong
in a trailer park.
169
00:08:27,601 --> 00:08:30,067
Well, we'll have them
fix it up, you know?
170
00:08:30,133 --> 00:08:33,968
Maybe we can get them
a van to use
as a guest room.
171
00:08:34,033 --> 00:08:35,834
Becky! Mark!
172
00:08:35,901 --> 00:08:37,267
They'll be fine.
173
00:08:38,367 --> 00:08:40,133
Yeah?
174
00:08:40,200 --> 00:08:43,133
Um, your Dad and I
would like to offer
175
00:08:43,200 --> 00:08:45,334
to help you fix this
place up a little.
176
00:08:45,400 --> 00:08:47,400
I'll make curtains,
and your Dad can help
you with the plumbing.
177
00:08:47,467 --> 00:08:49,100
And we'll get you
a little fence--
178
00:08:49,167 --> 00:08:50,267
Security system.
179
00:08:50,334 --> 00:08:53,033
Or at least one of
those little signs.
180
00:08:53,100 --> 00:08:55,434
Aw, you guys,
that's really sweet.
181
00:08:55,501 --> 00:08:57,234
But Mark and I don't
want any help.
182
00:08:57,300 --> 00:08:58,834
It's really
important for us to
do this on our own.
183
00:08:58,901 --> 00:09:00,234
But there's so much to do.
184
00:09:00,300 --> 00:09:03,400
Yeah but eventually,
over the years,
it'll all get done.
185
00:09:03,467 --> 00:09:06,400
Well, you gotta let us
give you something.
186
00:09:06,467 --> 00:09:09,434
What about
a big-headed
banjo-playing boy
187
00:09:09,501 --> 00:09:11,567
for the front porch?
188
00:09:11,634 --> 00:09:13,367
I said no.
189
00:09:13,434 --> 00:09:15,834
We want to do this
ourselves.
190
00:09:18,734 --> 00:09:19,767
Think they're gonna
be all right?
191
00:09:19,834 --> 00:09:22,100
It could be worse.
192
00:09:22,167 --> 00:09:24,400
They could be parked
on a hill.
193
00:09:29,934 --> 00:09:31,534
Hey, Bob?
194
00:09:31,601 --> 00:09:33,033
I need you to put
this carburetor
195
00:09:33,100 --> 00:09:34,801
back in the garbage
truck after lunch.
196
00:09:34,868 --> 00:09:36,000
And be careful.
197
00:09:36,067 --> 00:09:38,534
It took me
all morning to get
it adjusted right.
198
00:09:38,601 --> 00:09:39,734
Jeez, Dan, I got
a big lunch here.
199
00:09:39,801 --> 00:09:43,100
I was kinda hoping
to let it settle
for a while.
200
00:09:43,167 --> 00:09:44,868
Fred, you mind
helping him out?
201
00:09:44,934 --> 00:09:46,734
No problem.
202
00:09:49,901 --> 00:09:53,000
Listen, you guys, I need
to talk to you about something.
203
00:09:54,734 --> 00:09:57,234
Becky and Mark's trailer...
204
00:09:57,300 --> 00:09:59,567
Well, it's kind of
a mess, right?
205
00:09:59,634 --> 00:10:02,167
And I want to be able
to help them out,
but they won't let me.
206
00:10:02,234 --> 00:10:03,567
They probably just
want to be alone.
207
00:10:03,634 --> 00:10:04,901
You know
the old saying:
208
00:10:04,968 --> 00:10:07,133
"When the trailer's
rockin'..."
209
00:10:13,367 --> 00:10:15,801
Bob...
210
00:10:15,868 --> 00:10:18,701
we're talking about
my daughter here.
211
00:10:18,767 --> 00:10:20,868
I know.
212
00:10:20,934 --> 00:10:23,000
I'm just saying that...
213
00:10:23,067 --> 00:10:25,567
if it's rockin'...
214
00:10:25,634 --> 00:10:27,567
you probably wanna...
215
00:10:27,634 --> 00:10:29,400
level it.
216
00:10:32,100 --> 00:10:33,801
What are you
getting at, Dan?
217
00:10:33,868 --> 00:10:36,400
Well, I know I'm asking
a lot, but here it goes.
218
00:10:36,467 --> 00:10:40,000
I wanna give Mark
all the overtime...for a while.
219
00:10:40,067 --> 00:10:42,267
Don't worry about it, Dan.
I understand.
220
00:10:42,334 --> 00:10:45,133
It's gotta be tough
for these kids starting
out in life.
221
00:10:45,200 --> 00:10:47,400
If there's anything
we can do to make their
load a little lighter,
222
00:10:47,467 --> 00:10:48,667
it's gonna be
our pleasure.
223
00:10:51,133 --> 00:10:54,000
[sniffles and sighs]
Give me a minute.
224
00:10:56,567 --> 00:10:58,501
Thanks, guys.
225
00:10:58,567 --> 00:11:00,334
Hey, Mark?
226
00:11:00,400 --> 00:11:02,968
When you get done with that,
can I see you for a second?
227
00:11:03,033 --> 00:11:04,767
Oh! Wait a minute.
228
00:11:06,100 --> 00:11:08,501
There's no work for Mark
to do around here right now.
229
00:11:08,567 --> 00:11:09,667
What are you
talking about?
230
00:11:09,734 --> 00:11:11,167
What about
the hydraulics
on the garbage truck?
231
00:11:11,234 --> 00:11:12,367
I took care of it
this morning.
232
00:11:12,434 --> 00:11:14,567
What about the school buses?
We need them by Friday.
233
00:11:14,634 --> 00:11:17,100
It's all done, Dan.
Damn!
234
00:11:17,167 --> 00:11:18,400
What the matter
with you guys?
235
00:11:18,467 --> 00:11:20,167
We work for the city!
236
00:11:20,234 --> 00:11:24,267
Don't blame me, Dan.
I didn't do squat.
237
00:11:24,334 --> 00:11:27,133
Yeah, but my daughter's
livin' in a big...
238
00:11:27,200 --> 00:11:29,467
mailbox!
239
00:11:29,534 --> 00:11:31,567
There's gotta be
somethin' around here
that needs fixin'.
240
00:11:32,701 --> 00:11:33,634
Oh.
241
00:11:34,868 --> 00:11:36,667
You know,
I bet the bottom
of this here table
242
00:11:36,734 --> 00:11:38,300
could use
a little paint.
243
00:11:40,033 --> 00:11:40,968
Woopsie.
244
00:11:42,801 --> 00:11:45,300
Forget about paintin'
this table, Dan.
245
00:11:45,367 --> 00:11:48,033
What about
this carburetor?
246
00:11:48,100 --> 00:11:50,801
I think I'll explain
this to Bob outside.
247
00:11:53,033 --> 00:11:54,801
Hey. What's up, Dan?
Mark. Good news.
248
00:11:54,868 --> 00:11:56,434
Got a little
overtime for you.
249
00:11:56,501 --> 00:11:57,868
Look, I can't do
any all week.
250
00:11:57,934 --> 00:11:59,400
I got a lot of stuff
to do at the new place.
251
00:11:59,467 --> 00:12:02,167
Exactly! And that
time-and-a-half
252
00:12:02,234 --> 00:12:03,968
couldn't come
at a better time,
could it?
253
00:12:04,033 --> 00:12:07,033
I'm sorry, Dan.
Why don't you offer it
to one of the other guys?
254
00:12:07,100 --> 00:12:09,300
The other guys
can't do it, Mark.
Why not?
255
00:12:09,367 --> 00:12:13,667
Uh...garage quartet's got
a gig at the County Fair.
256
00:12:16,234 --> 00:12:17,834
Look, Dan, it's not like
I don't want the money.
257
00:12:17,901 --> 00:12:19,968
I really can't
do any this week. Okay?
258
00:12:21,033 --> 00:12:22,834
Dan.
Weirdest thing.
259
00:12:22,901 --> 00:12:24,634
I just noticed
the tail lights
260
00:12:24,701 --> 00:12:27,000
are all busted
on that cop car
out there.
261
00:12:28,567 --> 00:12:30,501
What's wrong
with your foot,
man?
262
00:12:30,567 --> 00:12:31,534
M-My foot?
263
00:12:31,601 --> 00:12:32,534
Yeah.
264
00:12:32,601 --> 00:12:33,701
New shoes.
265
00:12:34,868 --> 00:12:38,400
Brad. Apparently,
this week,
266
00:12:38,467 --> 00:12:42,067
it's not the right week
to paint the table. Okay?
267
00:12:42,133 --> 00:12:43,067
Oh?
268
00:12:43,133 --> 00:12:44,868
You, uh...
you might
269
00:12:44,934 --> 00:12:46,467
want to talk
to Bob.
270
00:12:49,100 --> 00:12:50,701
Bob?
271
00:12:50,767 --> 00:12:52,167
Where's Bob?
272
00:12:52,234 --> 00:12:54,200
You're not gonna
believe this, Dan.
[chuckles]
273
00:12:54,267 --> 00:12:56,267
Some clown must've
poured sugar
274
00:12:56,334 --> 00:12:58,601
in the gas tank
of that school bus.
275
00:12:59,767 --> 00:13:01,367
Bob...
276
00:13:01,434 --> 00:13:03,467
you--you can't fix
somethin' like that.
277
00:13:04,534 --> 00:13:05,501
Right.
278
00:13:16,801 --> 00:13:17,901
Here we are.
279
00:13:18,968 --> 00:13:21,033
[sighs]
Candles. Wow.
280
00:13:21,100 --> 00:13:22,467
Are these
the regular kind
281
00:13:22,534 --> 00:13:24,901
or the fancy kind
that keeps
the bugs away?
282
00:13:24,968 --> 00:13:26,567
This is
a special night.
It's the first time
283
00:13:26,634 --> 00:13:28,000
we're the hosts
and you're the guests.
284
00:13:29,133 --> 00:13:30,434
Look, Dan.
It's the china
285
00:13:30,501 --> 00:13:32,100
we gave 'em
for their wedding
present.
286
00:13:32,167 --> 00:13:34,200
No, Mommy. I'm sure
the ones we give 'em
287
00:13:34,267 --> 00:13:36,067
didn't have
these little compartments.
288
00:13:36,133 --> 00:13:37,100
Fancy.
289
00:13:38,300 --> 00:13:39,234
Okay.
290
00:13:39,300 --> 00:13:40,567
Eat 'em quick.
In 15 minutes,
291
00:13:40,634 --> 00:13:42,434
the bats start
comin' around.
292
00:13:44,501 --> 00:13:45,601
This is great.
293
00:13:47,901 --> 00:13:48,968
Yeah, it is.
294
00:13:49,033 --> 00:13:51,767
Good food...
great setting.
295
00:13:51,834 --> 00:13:53,400
Makes me wish
our kitchen
296
00:13:53,467 --> 00:13:56,734
didn't have
some stupid house
around it.
297
00:13:56,801 --> 00:13:58,767
Now, before
we start...
298
00:13:58,834 --> 00:14:00,767
Mark and I
just want to say
thank you.
299
00:14:00,834 --> 00:14:01,901
You guys
were so great
300
00:14:01,968 --> 00:14:03,567
to put us up
for so long.
301
00:14:03,634 --> 00:14:07,701
Oh, Becky,
those three years
just flew by.
302
00:14:07,767 --> 00:14:09,767
We were only
there for one.
303
00:14:09,834 --> 00:14:10,767
Whatever.
304
00:14:12,033 --> 00:14:13,968
Anyway, so far,
setting up house
305
00:14:14,033 --> 00:14:15,534
has been a really
great experience.
306
00:14:15,601 --> 00:14:17,200
Well, good.
In that case,
307
00:14:17,267 --> 00:14:18,968
I should do
my motherly duty
and tell you
308
00:14:19,033 --> 00:14:21,968
how you can cut down
on your food budget.
309
00:14:22,033 --> 00:14:23,734
Okay, say you get
this recipe, you know,
310
00:14:23,801 --> 00:14:25,634
and it calls
for lobster...
311
00:14:25,701 --> 00:14:28,634
shrimp, and that
expensive cookin' sherry?
312
00:14:28,701 --> 00:14:30,300
What you do is...
313
00:14:30,367 --> 00:14:31,968
you just tear up
that recipe.
314
00:14:33,100 --> 00:14:34,033
Thanks, Mom.
315
00:14:34,100 --> 00:14:35,300
We've already
figured out a couple
316
00:14:35,367 --> 00:14:37,300
of our own
budget tricks.
Like, these burgers?
317
00:14:37,367 --> 00:14:39,934
Cost 2.79
for a pound
of ground beef,
318
00:14:40,000 --> 00:14:43,100
but only $1.19
for a pound
of ground meat.
319
00:14:58,834 --> 00:15:00,300
[with mouth full]
You guys got any water?
320
00:15:00,367 --> 00:15:02,234
Oh, shoot. I forgot
to fill up the pitcher.
321
00:15:02,300 --> 00:15:04,067
I'll just run down
to the community spigot.
322
00:15:05,868 --> 00:15:07,400
Your trailer doesn't
have running water?
323
00:15:07,467 --> 00:15:09,133
Nah, the pipe was broken.
324
00:15:09,200 --> 00:15:12,033
I'll have enough saved up
in a few weeks to buy
a new one. No big deal.
325
00:15:12,100 --> 00:15:14,901
Whoa, Becky. Don't forget
the purification tablets.
Oh, yeah.
326
00:15:19,167 --> 00:15:20,234
Uh...
327
00:15:22,100 --> 00:15:23,868
Where'd you get
this salt shaker?
328
00:15:23,934 --> 00:15:28,167
Oh, it was in the trailer
when we moved in. The people
before us left it.
329
00:15:28,234 --> 00:15:31,067
Man, that's amazing.
This is not just--
330
00:15:31,133 --> 00:15:33,567
a regular salt shaker.
This is--
331
00:15:33,634 --> 00:15:36,801
a Niagara Falls
salt shaker.
So?
332
00:15:36,868 --> 00:15:40,701
I mean, antique stores pay
an arm and a leg for this
kind of thing.
333
00:15:40,767 --> 00:15:42,200
I should just take it now,
334
00:15:42,267 --> 00:15:44,567
and go ahead and give ya
50 bucks.
335
00:15:44,634 --> 00:15:45,901
Wow! Okay!
336
00:15:48,801 --> 00:15:51,334
And uh, you know,
I was noticing your dad
337
00:15:51,400 --> 00:15:55,000
was checkin' out that
antique hubcap over there.
338
00:15:55,067 --> 00:15:56,100
Huh?
339
00:15:56,167 --> 00:15:57,567
Oh! Yeah! Uh--
340
00:15:59,200 --> 00:16:01,934
That hubcap. That
baby there, that's, uh--
341
00:16:02,000 --> 00:16:04,567
that's from a 1954, uh...
342
00:16:04,634 --> 00:16:06,300
[both] Fladler.
Uh...
343
00:16:06,367 --> 00:16:08,801
It's a classic.
Yeah. Let me see. Uh...
344
00:16:08,868 --> 00:16:10,100
Give you, uh...
345
00:16:10,167 --> 00:16:11,400
20 bucks for it.
346
00:16:11,467 --> 00:16:14,133
Ah, well, you know,
that's the 1954 price.
347
00:16:14,200 --> 00:16:15,834
You gotta give 'em
what it's worth today.
348
00:16:17,634 --> 00:16:19,067
$60?
349
00:16:20,968 --> 00:16:23,167
$70?
Hey, Becky.
[clears throat]
350
00:16:23,234 --> 00:16:25,701
Why don't you run
and get that water?
Okay!
351
00:16:25,767 --> 00:16:27,334
Uh, are you sure
it's gonna be okay?
352
00:16:27,400 --> 00:16:29,968
I mean, by herself?
With the dogs and everything?
353
00:16:30,033 --> 00:16:32,968
Yeah, sure. As long as you
bring that big stick, with
the long nail in it.
354
00:16:38,801 --> 00:16:40,200
[dogs barking]
Hey, look. We told you guys.
355
00:16:40,267 --> 00:16:42,434
We don't want you to give us
any money, remember?
Yeah.
356
00:16:42,501 --> 00:16:44,167
All right. Well, then
can't you at least
357
00:16:44,234 --> 00:16:45,901
be a little less
obvious about it?
358
00:16:45,968 --> 00:16:47,734
Excuse me?
Come on, Dan.
359
00:16:47,801 --> 00:16:50,567
Helpin' us out with that
overtime thing at the garage,
that was good.
360
00:16:50,634 --> 00:16:54,634
But this antique hubcap
thing, that's ridiculous.
361
00:16:54,701 --> 00:16:56,667
Yeah, well--
And besides, we don't
need any.
362
00:16:56,734 --> 00:16:59,067
Mrs. Conner just made us
$50 on that salt shaker.
363
00:17:01,534 --> 00:17:04,133
Oh, you figured out what
we were doin' down at
the garage, huh?
364
00:17:04,200 --> 00:17:07,000
Come on, Dan. What do you
think I am, stupid?
365
00:17:07,067 --> 00:17:08,534
Remember, Dan.
We're guests here.
366
00:17:11,434 --> 00:17:12,901
Look.
367
00:17:12,968 --> 00:17:15,234
Don't tell Becky that
I told you guys this, but--
368
00:17:15,300 --> 00:17:17,367
she feels like, for
the past couple years,
369
00:17:17,434 --> 00:17:19,767
well, you guys, you've
given us a lot.
370
00:17:19,834 --> 00:17:21,434
Well, hey. We're
family, you know.
371
00:17:21,501 --> 00:17:23,367
It's not like we're keeping
some running tab
372
00:17:23,434 --> 00:17:26,033
of how much you owe us,
in our top dresser drawer.
373
00:17:30,234 --> 00:17:32,167
And you know, with your
baby comin' and everything,
374
00:17:32,234 --> 00:17:34,801
she feels like she doesn't
want to be a drain on you
any more.
375
00:17:34,868 --> 00:17:36,934
Well, why don't you
just tell us that?
376
00:17:37,000 --> 00:17:38,100
Well, uh--
377
00:17:38,167 --> 00:17:39,100
See, uh--
[stammers]
378
00:17:39,167 --> 00:17:40,567
Becky told me that--
379
00:17:40,634 --> 00:17:42,734
well, you guys, you--
you know, you love her
so much
380
00:17:42,801 --> 00:17:45,167
that you'd insist on
helping, even if--
381
00:17:45,234 --> 00:17:46,267
like, you couldn't
afford to.
382
00:17:47,334 --> 00:17:48,767
Becky said that?
383
00:17:48,834 --> 00:17:49,968
Yeah.
384
00:17:50,033 --> 00:17:51,434
Got the water!
385
00:17:54,133 --> 00:17:56,434
Oh, Becky,
that's so sweet.
386
00:18:06,100 --> 00:18:08,968
Can't believe how much stuff
we're hauling outta here.
387
00:18:09,033 --> 00:18:11,133
Remember that hamster
you lost when you were 8?
388
00:18:11,200 --> 00:18:12,667
I think I found him.
389
00:18:14,234 --> 00:18:16,567
Ooh. I always blamed
that smell on Becky.
390
00:18:19,601 --> 00:18:22,667
Well, he won't be runnin'
that wheel any time soon.
391
00:18:24,834 --> 00:18:27,467
Isn't it weird to see
this place all cleaned out?
392
00:18:27,534 --> 00:18:31,100
Like, the only thing left
of you girls is that, uh,
393
00:18:31,167 --> 00:18:33,501
Wrigley Field sign
up there.
394
00:18:33,567 --> 00:18:34,868
You get that down for me?
395
00:18:42,634 --> 00:18:45,234
Ha. Seems like the sign's
been up there forever.
396
00:18:45,300 --> 00:18:48,767
Hm. Yeah, well,
that gum really holds.
397
00:18:50,567 --> 00:18:54,000
Man, everything in this
house sure is changing.
398
00:18:54,067 --> 00:18:55,267
Kinda sad.
399
00:18:55,334 --> 00:18:57,067
Well, not everything's
changing. I mean,
400
00:18:57,133 --> 00:19:00,100
we still got your dad,
and the furniture, and--
401
00:19:00,167 --> 00:19:01,434
D.J.'s haircut.
402
00:19:06,267 --> 00:19:08,367
Are you okay
with this?
403
00:19:08,434 --> 00:19:11,033
I mean, another one
of your kids movin' out?
404
00:19:11,100 --> 00:19:12,267
Yeah. Yeah.
405
00:19:12,334 --> 00:19:13,701
I'm okay. Yeah.
406
00:19:15,667 --> 00:19:18,667
I mean, I always knew
you guys were gonna
move out. I just--
407
00:19:18,734 --> 00:19:20,868
was hoping you wouldn't
tell me where you were going.
408
00:19:25,334 --> 00:19:27,300
Can I ask you
somethin', Darlene?
409
00:19:27,367 --> 00:19:29,334
What?
410
00:19:29,400 --> 00:19:30,767
[sighs]
411
00:19:30,834 --> 00:19:34,400
Do you ever feel
like your Dad and me
412
00:19:34,467 --> 00:19:36,067
didn't give you
enough?
413
00:19:37,901 --> 00:19:39,033
What are you
talking about?
414
00:19:39,100 --> 00:19:40,467
You didn't give us
anything.
415
00:19:44,200 --> 00:19:46,000
No, I'm serious.
416
00:19:46,067 --> 00:19:49,300
You ever resent, like,
not havin' a lot of stuff
when you were younger?
417
00:19:49,367 --> 00:19:51,701
No. I used to
steal a lot.
418
00:19:54,367 --> 00:19:56,033
Oh, come on, Mom.
419
00:19:56,100 --> 00:19:58,567
You guys were
great parents.
420
00:19:58,634 --> 00:20:00,968
Yeah, well, we did have
that one book and all.
421
00:20:02,567 --> 00:20:06,567
I know you did the best
you could. I mean--
kids are expensive.
422
00:20:06,634 --> 00:20:10,133
Your food budget alone
must have gone up by a tenth
after you had us.
423
00:20:13,133 --> 00:20:14,467
Har...
[laughs]
424
00:20:16,734 --> 00:20:18,534
[both laugh]
425
00:20:18,601 --> 00:20:21,601
I'm just worried maybe
we didn't give you
a good enough head start.
426
00:20:21,667 --> 00:20:23,467
You know?
427
00:20:23,534 --> 00:20:25,801
I always wanted to--
428
00:20:25,868 --> 00:20:28,801
have our kids do better
than we did.
429
00:20:28,868 --> 00:20:31,100
And that should have been
a realistic goal.
430
00:20:32,767 --> 00:20:34,100
Becky just--
431
00:20:34,167 --> 00:20:36,200
is takin' such
a hard road.
432
00:20:36,267 --> 00:20:38,701
Eh, she's gonna be fine.
433
00:20:38,767 --> 00:20:40,567
I mean, she's strong,
like you are.
434
00:20:40,634 --> 00:20:42,567
And that'll get her through
whatever she has to go through.
435
00:20:43,634 --> 00:20:44,767
You think?
436
00:20:44,834 --> 00:20:46,667
Yeah! Definitely.
437
00:20:46,734 --> 00:20:49,133
So what if Becky's
livin' in a trailer?
438
00:20:49,200 --> 00:20:50,834
It's not like she's used
to livin' in luxury.
439
00:20:50,901 --> 00:20:52,400
You did that much
for her!
440
00:20:52,467 --> 00:20:54,334
[laughing]
441
00:20:54,400 --> 00:20:56,634
Yeah, it was a crazy plan
when we came up with it,
442
00:20:56,701 --> 00:20:58,901
but it really worked.
[laughs]
443
00:21:00,767 --> 00:21:02,667
You know, Darlene,
me and your Dad
444
00:21:02,734 --> 00:21:04,133
don't say this to you
very often,
445
00:21:04,200 --> 00:21:05,801
'cause, well,
it never comes up.
446
00:21:05,868 --> 00:21:08,100
But-- we're really
proud of you.
447
00:21:09,434 --> 00:21:11,968
Even though I'm secretly
a high-priced call girl?
448
00:21:15,934 --> 00:21:19,267
Because you're
a high-priced one.
[laughs]
449
00:21:22,834 --> 00:21:24,601
What the hell.
Put that back up.
450
00:21:32,200 --> 00:21:34,501
** [harmonica]
451
00:21:42,767 --> 00:21:43,868
Watch it, buddy!
452
00:21:43,934 --> 00:21:45,300
[stammering]
I'm-- I'm sorry,
453
00:21:45,367 --> 00:21:47,133
Mr. Fishman.
454
00:21:47,200 --> 00:21:48,901
[imitates gunshot]
Fired!
455
00:21:54,567 --> 00:21:57,033
You sent for me,
Mr. Fishman?
456
00:21:57,100 --> 00:22:00,033
Hey, baby. Come sit down
next to Uncle Mike.
457
00:22:03,834 --> 00:22:06,000
You know, I had a really
good time
458
00:22:06,067 --> 00:22:07,434
working on the show
this week.
459
00:22:07,501 --> 00:22:09,734
You're sweet, kid.
460
00:22:09,801 --> 00:22:12,868
You know later this season,
the Conners are gonna get
a French maid.
461
00:22:12,934 --> 00:22:14,267
Really?
462
00:22:14,334 --> 00:22:17,534
Yeah. Of course, I have to
see you in the uniform first.
463
00:22:19,167 --> 00:22:20,801
[Roseanne, yelling]
Hey, Fishman! I'm not
tellin' you again!
464
00:22:20,868 --> 00:22:23,234
Keep your paws off
the guest stars!
465
00:22:29,133 --> 00:22:30,734
There's a whole lot
of man
466
00:22:30,801 --> 00:22:32,767
walkin' out that door
right now.
467
00:22:33,934 --> 00:22:37,367
Stay away.
He'll break your heart.
468
00:22:37,434 --> 00:22:39,334
Trust me.
469
00:22:39,400 --> 00:22:41,234
I been there.
470
00:22:54,334 --> 00:22:57,267
Closed-Captioning By
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