Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:06,667 --> 00:00:08,501
Well, I give up.
2
00:00:08,501 --> 00:00:10,367
Our insurance company
only gave us
3
00:00:10,367 --> 00:00:13,467
a hundred dollars
to fix this water damage.
4
00:00:13,467 --> 00:00:15,534
I mean, I can't get anybody
to paint it for that.
5
00:00:15,534 --> 00:00:16,701
Come on, Leon,
there's gotta be
6
00:00:16,701 --> 00:00:18,467
some interior decorator
out there
7
00:00:18,467 --> 00:00:21,033
that owes you a big favor.
8
00:00:21,033 --> 00:00:24,167
Oh, what a classy
comment, Roseanne.
9
00:00:24,167 --> 00:00:27,100
You know, it's a wonder
that you work here in a diner
10
00:00:27,100 --> 00:00:29,801
and not in the world of opera,
where they would appreciate
11
00:00:29,801 --> 00:00:31,434
a woman of your...girth.
12
00:00:31,434 --> 00:00:34,267
Don't talk to me about class.
13
00:00:34,267 --> 00:00:37,200
And it's pronounced Oprah.
14
00:00:43,334 --> 00:00:46,200
Listen, Stacy,
I'm really sorry
15
00:00:46,200 --> 00:00:48,033
about you breaking up
with you boyfriend.
16
00:00:48,033 --> 00:00:49,901
I know how hard that is.
17
00:00:49,901 --> 00:00:53,100
I mean, you feel alone,
you feel empty,
18
00:00:53,100 --> 00:00:55,601
you feel like a part
of you died.
19
00:00:55,601 --> 00:00:58,567
So, if there's anything
I can do to help...
20
00:00:58,567 --> 00:01:01,300
Can you lend me 40 bucks?
21
00:01:01,300 --> 00:01:04,033
Well, uh...
I've got 12.
22
00:01:07,667 --> 00:01:09,100
Whenever.
23
00:01:11,834 --> 00:01:14,133
You know, if we don't
get him neutered,
24
00:01:14,133 --> 00:01:17,367
he's gonna end up
spraying everywhere.
25
00:01:19,200 --> 00:01:20,667
I just--I think
it's disgusting
26
00:01:20,667 --> 00:01:23,901
the way that Stacy
is taking advantage
of our David.
27
00:01:23,901 --> 00:01:25,133
You're right.
28
00:01:25,133 --> 00:01:27,100
If anybody's gonna take
advantage of our David,
29
00:01:27,100 --> 00:01:28,734
it'll be me.
30
00:01:28,734 --> 00:01:29,901
David, come over here.
31
00:01:29,901 --> 00:01:31,567
Yeah, Mrs. Conner?
32
00:01:31,567 --> 00:01:34,234
Uh, you can't hang
around here anymore.
33
00:01:34,234 --> 00:01:35,534
I can't?
No.
34
00:01:35,534 --> 00:01:36,901
We've got this painter
coming in
35
00:01:36,901 --> 00:01:37,934
to do this wall tomorrow.
36
00:01:37,934 --> 00:01:39,133
It's gonna be
way too crowded.
37
00:01:39,133 --> 00:01:40,801
And it's gonna
take that painter
38
00:01:40,801 --> 00:01:42,934
probably all day
to fix that wall,
39
00:01:42,934 --> 00:01:44,400
and then he'll probably
stretch it out
40
00:01:44,400 --> 00:01:48,300
so he can just stand there
and stare at Stacy.
41
00:01:50,501 --> 00:01:52,968
Hey, what if I painted
the wall for you?
42
00:01:52,968 --> 00:01:54,601
You?
43
00:01:56,000 --> 00:01:59,033
Well, that's right.
You do paint.
44
00:01:59,033 --> 00:02:01,601
But I couldn't take
advantage of you
like that, David.
45
00:02:01,601 --> 00:02:03,567
I've only got
$20 to work with.
46
00:02:03,567 --> 00:02:05,968
No, I could do a mural.
47
00:02:05,968 --> 00:02:07,968
I mean, it would be
a great opportunity for me.
48
00:02:07,968 --> 00:02:10,033
I would feel like
I was taking
advantage of you.
49
00:02:10,033 --> 00:02:13,200
Well, I wouldn't want you
to feel bad, David.
50
00:02:13,200 --> 00:02:15,634
I'll tell you what.
I won't pay you anything.
51
00:02:15,634 --> 00:02:17,133
Okay.
52
00:02:17,133 --> 00:02:19,234
And bring your own paint.
53
00:02:20,767 --> 00:02:22,334
Could you help me
with my math?
54
00:02:23,767 --> 00:02:24,767
I'm not good at math.
55
00:02:24,767 --> 00:02:28,033
I don't care.
56
00:02:28,033 --> 00:02:30,701
Get out of here.
57
00:02:30,701 --> 00:02:32,334
Break's over, Stacy.
58
00:02:32,334 --> 00:02:34,801
Those dishes have been
on table three for an hour.
59
00:02:34,801 --> 00:02:36,334
[sighs]
60
00:02:36,334 --> 00:02:38,501
Could someone else
clean that table?
61
00:02:38,501 --> 00:02:40,767
I can't.
Why not?
62
00:02:40,767 --> 00:02:43,133
'Cause that's me
and Billy's table.
63
00:02:43,133 --> 00:02:45,033
It brings back
too many memories.
64
00:02:45,033 --> 00:02:48,033
I never saw the two
of you sitting there.
65
00:02:48,033 --> 00:02:49,334
Well, we didn't.
66
00:02:49,334 --> 00:02:51,367
Then how can you
call it "our table"?
67
00:02:51,367 --> 00:02:52,868
I mean, if you didn't
even eat dinner there,
68
00:02:52,868 --> 00:02:54,901
what else could you--
69
00:02:54,901 --> 00:02:58,667
Oh, my God.
You had sex on it?
70
00:02:58,667 --> 00:03:00,767
Is that a problem?
71
00:03:00,767 --> 00:03:02,501
No, it's no problem.
72
00:03:04,467 --> 00:03:06,834
I gotta go talk
to Roseanne.
73
00:03:06,834 --> 00:03:08,934
This isn't about you.
74
00:03:12,801 --> 00:03:14,901
Stacy had sex
on one of our tables.
75
00:03:14,901 --> 00:03:17,267
God, I hope they
left her a good tip.
76
00:03:17,267 --> 00:03:19,667
That's not funny.
I find it disgusting.
77
00:03:19,667 --> 00:03:20,934
I wanna fire her.
78
00:03:20,934 --> 00:03:22,367
Well, I wanna keep her
79
00:03:22,367 --> 00:03:25,367
and install
some security cameras.
80
00:03:25,367 --> 00:03:27,000
You think it's okay?
81
00:03:27,000 --> 00:03:29,234
God, don't be
such a hypocrite,
82
00:03:29,234 --> 00:03:31,868
after all the places
you've done it.
83
00:03:31,868 --> 00:03:34,200
I never did
something like that.
84
00:03:34,200 --> 00:03:36,834
Come on, Jackie,
I'm the one that
had to tell you
85
00:03:36,834 --> 00:03:39,567
that you could do it
laying down.
86
00:03:40,968 --> 00:03:42,767
I am an adult now.
87
00:03:42,767 --> 00:03:44,067
My life has become
more stable.
88
00:03:44,067 --> 00:03:45,234
I have values.
89
00:03:45,234 --> 00:03:47,033
You're jealous.
90
00:03:47,033 --> 00:03:51,067
I am not jealous
of that slutty, trampy...
91
00:03:51,067 --> 00:03:52,234
mother of ours.
92
00:03:52,234 --> 00:03:54,901
I like Mom.
93
00:03:54,901 --> 00:03:57,868
I really can't
clean table three.
94
00:03:57,868 --> 00:03:59,968
Could someone else
please do it?
95
00:03:59,968 --> 00:04:01,534
Okay, I'll do it.
96
00:04:01,534 --> 00:04:03,968
Just do me a favor
and finish cleaning up
this ice machine.
97
00:04:03,968 --> 00:04:07,367
I can't clean
that either.
98
00:04:54,367 --> 00:04:56,033
[laughing]
99
00:05:01,634 --> 00:05:02,767
How's the mural coming?
100
00:05:02,767 --> 00:05:03,901
Great.
101
00:05:03,901 --> 00:05:04,901
I just can't wait
to get to college
102
00:05:04,901 --> 00:05:05,901
and really study art.
103
00:05:05,901 --> 00:05:08,868
Who's Art?
Your new boyfriend?
104
00:05:08,868 --> 00:05:10,968
I'm real proud of you, David.
105
00:05:10,968 --> 00:05:13,968
You'll be the first
Conner man to go to college.
106
00:05:13,968 --> 00:05:16,801
Wait, you're not a Conner.
107
00:05:16,801 --> 00:05:17,834
You'll be the first
108
00:05:17,834 --> 00:05:20,834
man I know to go to college.
109
00:05:20,834 --> 00:05:23,400
See, Mark?
Some people value
education.
110
00:05:23,400 --> 00:05:25,501
Yeah?
If those college boys
are so smart,
111
00:05:25,501 --> 00:05:28,334
how come they're always
asking guys like me
to fix their toilets?
112
00:05:30,501 --> 00:05:31,834
Leave him alone.
113
00:05:31,834 --> 00:05:32,901
Aren't you proud
of your brother?
114
00:05:32,901 --> 00:05:36,834
Yeah, of course.
115
00:05:36,834 --> 00:05:38,000
Dan, you know,
when you were younger
116
00:05:38,000 --> 00:05:39,300
did you ever think
about going to college?
117
00:05:39,300 --> 00:05:41,167
Oh, sure.
118
00:05:41,167 --> 00:05:45,000
When I was his age
it was the most important
thing in the world to me.
119
00:05:45,000 --> 00:05:47,267
Then the the draft ended
and I didn't see the point.
120
00:05:51,868 --> 00:05:53,868
Hi, Mark.
Hey.
121
00:05:53,868 --> 00:05:55,534
Listen,
do you think I could
122
00:05:55,534 --> 00:05:56,868
watch you work on the pipes?
123
00:05:56,868 --> 00:06:00,033
I mean,
I love to watch guys
fix things.
124
00:06:00,033 --> 00:06:01,701
You do, huh?
Mm-hmm.
125
00:06:01,701 --> 00:06:03,968
That's pretty mental.
126
00:06:05,534 --> 00:06:06,868
You're so funny.
127
00:06:06,868 --> 00:06:08,868
You want a coffee?
No.
128
00:06:08,868 --> 00:06:09,968
Okay.
129
00:06:14,033 --> 00:06:15,868
What the hell
are you doing?
What?
130
00:06:15,868 --> 00:06:16,868
You're a married man.
131
00:06:16,868 --> 00:06:18,601
You shouldn't be
coming on to Stacy.
132
00:06:18,601 --> 00:06:20,033
I'm not coming on to her.
133
00:06:20,033 --> 00:06:21,067
She was coming on to me.
134
00:06:21,067 --> 00:06:22,067
Oh, come on,
135
00:06:22,067 --> 00:06:23,200
that doesn't
even make sense.
136
00:06:23,200 --> 00:06:24,734
I'm the one
who's available.
137
00:06:24,734 --> 00:06:26,734
Why would she want you
and not me?
138
00:06:26,734 --> 00:06:28,901
Hmm.
139
00:06:28,901 --> 00:06:30,501
I don't know,
Mrs. Size 7 Shoes.
140
00:06:36,901 --> 00:06:40,901
Leon?
Mm-hmm?
141
00:06:40,901 --> 00:06:43,367
Can I ask you
a question about women?
142
00:06:47,901 --> 00:06:51,400
Well, it's a bit like
asking Mrs. Conner
about low-cal desserts,
143
00:06:51,400 --> 00:06:55,567
but go ahead.
144
00:06:55,567 --> 00:06:58,267
Uh, I was wondering--
Come here.
145
00:06:58,267 --> 00:07:01,100
I was wondering
what they like in a guy.
146
00:07:01,100 --> 00:07:05,601
You know,
since you like guys...
147
00:07:05,601 --> 00:07:08,100
This is offensive, isn't it?
148
00:07:08,100 --> 00:07:13,434
No, actually,
it's surprisingly
interesting.
149
00:07:13,434 --> 00:07:16,434
Well, it's just--
150
00:07:16,434 --> 00:07:18,033
Is Mark better-looking than me?
151
00:07:18,033 --> 00:07:20,100
Come on, David.
152
00:07:20,100 --> 00:07:24,100
I mean, that's like
trying to compare
apples and...
153
00:07:24,100 --> 00:07:26,434
what do they call those
dinky little tiny oranges?
154
00:07:26,434 --> 00:07:28,767
The ug--
Kumquats!
155
00:07:28,767 --> 00:07:32,133
Everyone loves kumquats.
156
00:07:32,133 --> 00:07:34,734
I think Stacy likes apples.
157
00:07:34,734 --> 00:07:36,133
Don't worry about it,
David.
158
00:07:36,133 --> 00:07:39,300
You know,
when I was a kid
about your age,
159
00:07:39,300 --> 00:07:41,300
I wasn't very popular
with the girls either,
160
00:07:41,300 --> 00:07:43,734
and things worked out
great for me.
161
00:07:46,801 --> 00:07:48,334
But you're gay.
162
00:07:48,334 --> 00:07:51,400
Best of luck to you.
163
00:07:57,467 --> 00:08:01,100
Hey, Stacy,
I was wondering...
164
00:08:01,100 --> 00:08:04,167
could I paint you
in my mural?
165
00:08:04,167 --> 00:08:05,534
Wow! Really?
166
00:08:05,534 --> 00:08:06,868
Yeah.
167
00:08:06,868 --> 00:08:09,334
That's why I've been
kind of staring at you a lot,
168
00:08:09,334 --> 00:08:13,334
not because I'm some creep.
169
00:08:13,334 --> 00:08:15,000
Hey, Mark,
guess what?
170
00:08:15,000 --> 00:08:16,834
David's going to put me
in his picture.
171
00:08:16,834 --> 00:08:18,767
This is going to be
so much fun!
172
00:08:20,334 --> 00:08:22,667
Boy, Mark,
now I bet you wish
you had used crayons
173
00:08:22,667 --> 00:08:26,000
for more than just
stabbing people, huh?
174
00:08:26,000 --> 00:08:30,167
Hey, Stace,
you still want to
watch me fix that pipe?
175
00:08:30,167 --> 00:08:31,167
Sure.
176
00:08:31,167 --> 00:08:33,501
Great. Let's go.
177
00:08:33,501 --> 00:08:34,501
[giggles]
178
00:08:34,501 --> 00:08:36,501
Hey, hey!
What are you doing?
179
00:08:36,501 --> 00:08:38,033
Just proving a point.
180
00:08:38,033 --> 00:08:40,801
Why don't you get back
to your painting there,
Fembrandt?
181
00:08:51,868 --> 00:08:55,467
Jackie? Honey?
You okay?
182
00:08:55,467 --> 00:08:58,033
Do we have to go
to the Lobo tonight?
183
00:08:58,033 --> 00:08:59,601
Can't we do
something different?
184
00:08:59,601 --> 00:09:00,734
Like what?
185
00:09:00,734 --> 00:09:02,367
I don't know, man!
186
00:09:02,367 --> 00:09:04,033
I just want to go!
187
00:09:04,033 --> 00:09:06,534
I just want to
go so far
188
00:09:06,534 --> 00:09:08,534
I got to come back
just to see where
I came from.
189
00:09:08,534 --> 00:09:11,067
Are you with me?
190
00:09:11,067 --> 00:09:12,501
As long as we're back home
191
00:09:12,501 --> 00:09:13,901
to relieve
the baby-sitter by 9.
192
00:09:13,901 --> 00:09:15,567
Oh, yeah.
193
00:09:15,567 --> 00:09:16,734
You're right, Fred.
194
00:09:16,734 --> 00:09:18,834
I'm just being silly.
195
00:09:21,567 --> 00:09:25,734
Honey, pull the car over.
196
00:09:25,734 --> 00:09:26,734
Why?
197
00:09:26,734 --> 00:09:27,734
You getting carsick?
198
00:09:27,734 --> 00:09:30,567
No, I only want you to...
199
00:09:30,567 --> 00:09:34,734
you know, pull over,
200
00:09:34,734 --> 00:09:37,367
so we can...you know.
201
00:09:37,367 --> 00:09:39,801
Oh! What? In the car?
202
00:09:39,801 --> 00:09:40,801
You're crazy.
203
00:09:40,801 --> 00:09:42,400
Come on, Fred,
it will be fun.
204
00:09:42,400 --> 00:09:43,467
It will be
just like high school.
205
00:09:43,467 --> 00:09:45,033
I'll even let you
brag to your friends.
206
00:09:47,434 --> 00:09:49,100
Jackie, if you
wanted to have sex,
207
00:09:49,100 --> 00:09:52,067
you should have
thought about that before
we left the house.
208
00:09:52,067 --> 00:09:54,167
I didn't want to
have it then.
209
00:09:54,167 --> 00:09:55,167
Fine.
210
00:09:55,167 --> 00:09:56,601
I'll turn the car around,
211
00:09:56,601 --> 00:09:57,934
we'll drive back
to our home
212
00:09:57,934 --> 00:09:59,267
and our comfortable bed,
213
00:09:59,267 --> 00:10:01,934
have the sex,
and then go to the bar.
214
00:10:01,934 --> 00:10:03,601
I don't want to have
the sex in the bed.
215
00:10:03,601 --> 00:10:05,100
There are six rooms
in that house.
216
00:10:05,100 --> 00:10:08,200
The only room
we have the sex in
is the bedroom.
217
00:10:08,200 --> 00:10:11,100
Yeah, and the only room
we cook in is the kitchen.
218
00:10:11,100 --> 00:10:15,601
Sometimes we barbeque.
219
00:10:15,601 --> 00:10:17,434
I'm really sorry,
but I just don't get it.
220
00:10:17,434 --> 00:10:20,467
I don't see anything good
about having sex
in a cramped car.
221
00:10:20,467 --> 00:10:23,133
It's not just the sex, Fred.
222
00:10:23,133 --> 00:10:26,133
Our whole lives are boring.
223
00:10:26,133 --> 00:10:27,934
You're boring!
224
00:10:27,934 --> 00:10:32,133
Why, because
I don't want to get
an ashtray in my butt?
225
00:10:34,467 --> 00:10:37,133
Every single Thursday night
we drive to happy hour
226
00:10:37,133 --> 00:10:39,133
and every single time
you take Kenter to Raleigh
227
00:10:39,133 --> 00:10:40,467
and a right on Radford.
228
00:10:40,467 --> 00:10:42,701
You don't take Sycamore
because of the potholes!
229
00:10:42,701 --> 00:10:45,234
Okay, I'm sorry.
You're right.
230
00:10:48,968 --> 00:10:50,734
We'll take Sycamore.
231
00:10:52,501 --> 00:10:54,667
[thump]
232
00:10:54,667 --> 00:10:56,934
Woohoo!
That's livin'!
233
00:11:06,000 --> 00:11:07,934
[chattering]
234
00:11:09,667 --> 00:11:11,000
Hey, Dan,
where's Roseanne?
235
00:11:11,000 --> 00:11:13,501
Oh, she was feeling
a little nauseous
236
00:11:13,501 --> 00:11:16,000
so she filled her purse
with chicken wings
and went on home.
237
00:11:16,000 --> 00:11:18,334
Oh. Great.
238
00:11:18,334 --> 00:11:19,834
I'm glad I came then.
239
00:11:19,834 --> 00:11:23,167
While you two play pool
I can sit at the bar
and have a drink,
240
00:11:23,167 --> 00:11:24,501
because that's
what bars are for.
241
00:11:24,501 --> 00:11:28,200
Bars are for drinking
and kitchens are for cooking
242
00:11:28,200 --> 00:11:31,701
and cars are for driving.
243
00:11:31,701 --> 00:11:33,200
That's God's plan.
244
00:11:33,200 --> 00:11:34,634
You can either
stick with that or you
can go to hell.
245
00:11:37,868 --> 00:11:40,300
Grouchy, party of one.
246
00:11:42,200 --> 00:11:45,033
We're kind of having
a few problems.
247
00:11:45,033 --> 00:11:46,367
Yep.
248
00:11:46,367 --> 00:11:47,367
Should have married yourself
249
00:11:47,367 --> 00:11:50,367
a quiet, easy-going
gal like I did.
250
00:11:50,367 --> 00:11:52,367
Driving over here,
all of the sudden,
251
00:11:52,367 --> 00:11:55,367
out of nowhere
she starts blaming me
for her life.
252
00:11:55,367 --> 00:11:57,367
She says it's lousy
and predictable,
253
00:11:57,367 --> 00:11:59,100
and get this--
Boring.
254
00:11:59,100 --> 00:12:00,901
Ah, women.
255
00:12:00,901 --> 00:12:01,901
They just can't
say they're happy.
256
00:12:03,734 --> 00:12:05,067
It's got me worried, Dan.
257
00:12:05,067 --> 00:12:09,067
It all started
with this...thing.
258
00:12:09,067 --> 00:12:12,567
What kind of thing?
259
00:12:12,567 --> 00:12:14,367
This weird sex thing.
260
00:12:17,234 --> 00:12:18,334
Chicken wing?
261
00:12:21,734 --> 00:12:24,400
I don't even know
how to begin
to talk about this.
262
00:12:24,400 --> 00:12:27,133
I mean, this woman
is the mother of my child.
263
00:12:27,133 --> 00:12:30,067
There's hot sauce.
264
00:12:30,067 --> 00:12:32,601
I am all for having
some fun in the bedroom,
265
00:12:32,601 --> 00:12:34,601
but what she's
talking about, it's--
266
00:12:34,601 --> 00:12:36,434
It's bizarre.
267
00:12:36,434 --> 00:12:38,367
Boy, these must come off
tiny chickens.
268
00:12:41,067 --> 00:12:43,167
Dan is this making you
uncomfortable?
269
00:12:43,167 --> 00:12:45,267
No, no.
270
00:12:45,267 --> 00:12:48,267
Speaking in front of a group
makes me uncomfortable.
271
00:12:48,267 --> 00:12:51,100
Listening to
your and Jackie's sex life
makes me...
272
00:12:51,100 --> 00:12:53,367
wish I was speaking
in front of a group.
273
00:12:54,868 --> 00:12:55,868
Okay, forget it.
274
00:12:55,868 --> 00:12:58,601
No, I'm sorry.
275
00:12:58,601 --> 00:13:01,534
Okay, what did
she want you to do?
276
00:13:04,601 --> 00:13:08,300
She wanted us to have sex
277
00:13:08,300 --> 00:13:09,567
in the car.
278
00:13:15,133 --> 00:13:16,734
With how many people?
279
00:13:21,467 --> 00:13:23,167
Just me and her.
280
00:13:25,133 --> 00:13:28,467
She wanted to have sex
with her husband in the car?
281
00:13:28,467 --> 00:13:29,634
God, it's freaky.
282
00:13:29,634 --> 00:13:31,734
Someone like that
living right here in Lanford.
283
00:13:33,801 --> 00:13:34,968
You're making fun of me, Dan.
284
00:13:34,968 --> 00:13:38,501
No, it's just if your wife
is this unhappy,
285
00:13:38,501 --> 00:13:39,934
you got to do
something about it.
286
00:13:39,934 --> 00:13:42,167
Hey, I thought
our sex life was great!
287
00:13:42,167 --> 00:13:44,334
But apparently
she thinks we're in
some kind of a rut.
288
00:13:44,334 --> 00:13:45,334
You are in a rut.
289
00:13:45,334 --> 00:13:46,501
We are not!
290
00:13:46,501 --> 00:13:47,501
Of course you are.
291
00:13:47,501 --> 00:13:48,667
That's why you're happy.
292
00:13:48,667 --> 00:13:50,167
Guys love being in a rut,
293
00:13:50,167 --> 00:13:52,000
but women think it's boring.
294
00:13:52,000 --> 00:13:55,667
The trick is to keep them
from getting too bored
before they leave you.
295
00:13:55,667 --> 00:13:57,767
Then there goes
your nice, comfortable rut.
296
00:13:59,501 --> 00:14:02,868
But I don't want
to have sex in the car.
297
00:14:02,868 --> 00:14:07,167
Women like to try new things.
298
00:14:07,167 --> 00:14:12,200
If you love your wife,
you got to give a little.
299
00:14:12,200 --> 00:14:15,133
I suppose doing it in the car
is not going to kill me.
300
00:14:15,133 --> 00:14:17,467
Not if you put
your flashers on.
301
00:14:20,200 --> 00:14:22,033
Dan, do you ever...
302
00:14:22,033 --> 00:14:24,501
have sex with Roseanne
in your car?
303
00:14:24,501 --> 00:14:27,467
Hell, Fred,
I've had sex with Roseanne
in your car.
304
00:14:30,367 --> 00:14:32,467
That's how much
I love my wife.
305
00:14:37,033 --> 00:14:39,033
So he just left
on his motorcycle.
306
00:14:39,033 --> 00:14:41,200
I don't know why
I always end up dating jerks
307
00:14:41,200 --> 00:14:43,367
who just care
about acting tough.
308
00:14:43,367 --> 00:14:46,400
I just wind up
getting burned.
309
00:14:46,400 --> 00:14:50,234
Well, maybe you should start
dating more sensitive guys,
310
00:14:50,234 --> 00:14:54,901
guys who aren't afraid
of showing their emotions.
311
00:14:56,901 --> 00:15:00,434
Oh, God.
I said I wouldn't do this.
312
00:15:00,434 --> 00:15:03,567
Yeah, you're right.
313
00:15:03,567 --> 00:15:07,234
But guys like that,
they just wind up
feeling like my brother.
314
00:15:07,234 --> 00:15:09,334
Or my sister.
315
00:15:09,334 --> 00:15:12,567
Heh. Yeah.
316
00:15:12,567 --> 00:15:16,167
Boy, those wussy boys
just make me sick.
317
00:15:21,100 --> 00:15:22,767
Hey, listen,
I've got an extra ticket
318
00:15:22,767 --> 00:15:23,934
to the Dead concert tonight.
319
00:15:23,934 --> 00:15:25,767
The chick I was going to
go with had to cancel,
320
00:15:25,767 --> 00:15:27,267
because she had this, uh...
321
00:15:27,267 --> 00:15:28,868
she had a baby.
322
00:15:30,767 --> 00:15:31,767
Are you kidding?
323
00:15:31,767 --> 00:15:32,934
That would be great.
324
00:15:32,934 --> 00:15:34,767
But it gets really hot
in the stadium.
325
00:15:34,767 --> 00:15:36,200
What do you think
I should wear tonight?
326
00:15:36,200 --> 00:15:37,200
I don't care, man.
327
00:15:37,200 --> 00:15:38,934
Wear whatever you want.
328
00:15:38,934 --> 00:15:40,367
I'll be wearing
a tube top.
329
00:15:42,767 --> 00:15:44,434
Hey, Mark, guess what?
330
00:15:44,434 --> 00:15:46,467
David's going to take me
to the Dead show later.
331
00:15:46,467 --> 00:15:47,767
Oh, yeah?
332
00:15:47,767 --> 00:15:49,100
He must like you.
333
00:15:49,100 --> 00:15:50,367
Dr. Quinn is on tonight.
334
00:15:51,868 --> 00:15:52,934
Hey.
335
00:15:52,934 --> 00:15:53,934
Hey, Dan-aroo.
336
00:15:53,934 --> 00:15:55,467
What's the good word?
337
00:15:55,467 --> 00:15:58,300
Well, it's not "Dan-aroo."
338
00:15:58,300 --> 00:16:00,634
David, this came for you
in the mail.
339
00:16:00,634 --> 00:16:02,634
It's my SAT scores.
340
00:16:02,634 --> 00:16:04,067
How come
they're already open?
341
00:16:04,067 --> 00:16:05,467
Mrs. Conner made
an honest mistake.
342
00:16:05,467 --> 00:16:07,734
She forgot to reseal it.
343
00:16:07,734 --> 00:16:09,968
How did you do?
344
00:16:09,968 --> 00:16:11,133
He did great!
345
00:16:11,133 --> 00:16:13,133
Spelling, deciphering,
346
00:16:13,133 --> 00:16:15,801
he done whomped
all they threw at him.
347
00:16:15,801 --> 00:16:16,801
Well, not great,
348
00:16:16,801 --> 00:16:18,133
but, yeah,
I did pretty good.
349
00:16:18,133 --> 00:16:19,801
Don't be so modest.
350
00:16:19,801 --> 00:16:22,300
What's the capital
of Montana?
351
00:16:22,300 --> 00:16:23,634
Uh, Helena?
352
00:16:23,634 --> 00:16:27,334
It probably is!
353
00:16:27,334 --> 00:16:28,501
Hey, Dan, you know,
354
00:16:28,501 --> 00:16:30,167
I got that sink
practically done in there.
355
00:16:30,167 --> 00:16:31,334
I was able to save
a lot more
356
00:16:31,334 --> 00:16:33,334
of that copper tubing
than you thought.
357
00:16:33,334 --> 00:16:35,501
That's great.
Yeah.
358
00:16:35,501 --> 00:16:37,901
60 cents a foot.
You just made us 8 cents.
359
00:16:37,901 --> 00:16:40,767
See us later, egghead.
360
00:16:45,667 --> 00:16:46,667
Oh, come on.
361
00:16:46,667 --> 00:16:47,834
Don't let it bother you, Mark.
362
00:16:47,834 --> 00:16:50,167
He was just all excited
about my test scores.
363
00:16:50,167 --> 00:16:51,501
By tomorrow he'll remember
364
00:16:51,501 --> 00:16:53,767
that I mostly
just make him uncomfortable.
365
00:16:55,000 --> 00:16:56,167
Hey, Stacy, you know,
366
00:16:56,167 --> 00:16:57,634
if you want me
to help you with your car,
367
00:16:57,634 --> 00:16:59,701
tonight's the only night
I have free.
368
00:16:59,701 --> 00:17:01,701
But I'm going to
the Dead show tonight.
369
00:17:01,701 --> 00:17:04,200
Well, take it
or leave it.
370
00:17:04,200 --> 00:17:06,367
Oh, all right.
371
00:17:06,367 --> 00:17:08,367
I mean, I really need
to get my car fixed.
372
00:17:08,367 --> 00:17:09,567
Sorry, David.
373
00:17:09,567 --> 00:17:11,734
Hey, if you want
to pick up some beer,
374
00:17:11,734 --> 00:17:15,133
I'll hang out afterwards.
375
00:17:15,133 --> 00:17:16,634
Okay.
376
00:17:19,367 --> 00:17:20,868
What the hell are you doing?
377
00:17:20,868 --> 00:17:22,701
Why do you have to
ruin this for me?
378
00:17:22,701 --> 00:17:25,033
It's not my fault
that she likes me more
than she likes you.
379
00:17:25,033 --> 00:17:26,534
Oh, don't give me that.
380
00:17:26,534 --> 00:17:28,367
You just can't stand it
that I was getting
somewhere with her.
381
00:17:28,367 --> 00:17:31,567
You were just closing in
on a handshake.
382
00:17:31,567 --> 00:17:34,234
God, Mark,
how evil can you be?
383
00:17:34,234 --> 00:17:35,400
Fine, I'll ask you nicely.
384
00:17:35,400 --> 00:17:37,234
I really like Stacy.
385
00:17:37,234 --> 00:17:38,400
Okay?
386
00:17:38,400 --> 00:17:41,567
Now could you please,
please as a brother,
387
00:17:41,567 --> 00:17:43,667
just back off
and give me a chance?
388
00:17:43,667 --> 00:17:47,167
No.
389
00:17:47,167 --> 00:17:49,701
Why are you such a bastard?
390
00:17:49,701 --> 00:17:53,834
I'll tell you what,
I might leave her alone
if you cry for me.
391
00:17:55,734 --> 00:17:56,667
Hey!
392
00:17:58,734 --> 00:18:01,734
Hey, what's going on?
393
00:18:01,734 --> 00:18:02,734
Nothing.
394
00:18:02,734 --> 00:18:04,000
No, come on, Mark!
395
00:18:04,000 --> 00:18:05,434
Why don't you tell her
what we're fighting about?
396
00:18:05,434 --> 00:18:06,434
It's nothing!
397
00:18:06,434 --> 00:18:08,534
What did you want?
398
00:18:10,968 --> 00:18:13,567
I came by to ask
if you wanted to go
to a movie tonight.
399
00:18:13,567 --> 00:18:14,934
Hey, that's a good idea.
400
00:18:14,934 --> 00:18:16,434
Why don't you
go to a movie tonight
with your wife?
401
00:18:16,434 --> 00:18:20,601
I can't.
I'm busy.
402
00:18:20,601 --> 00:18:21,767
Busy doing what?
403
00:18:21,767 --> 00:18:23,100
What?
I don't know.
404
00:18:23,100 --> 00:18:24,868
What, I have to tell you
what I'm doing every second?
405
00:18:24,868 --> 00:18:26,434
What is the big deal?
406
00:18:26,434 --> 00:18:27,734
Why are you
acting like this?
407
00:18:27,734 --> 00:18:29,601
It's not a big deal.
408
00:18:29,601 --> 00:18:31,100
I just have to fix a car.
409
00:18:31,100 --> 00:18:33,667
Okay.
Whose car?
410
00:18:33,667 --> 00:18:35,601
Whose? Uh...
411
00:18:35,601 --> 00:18:40,000
You know, it's, uh...
412
00:18:40,000 --> 00:18:43,267
What's going on, Mark?
413
00:18:43,267 --> 00:18:45,634
It's my car.
414
00:18:45,634 --> 00:18:46,968
Actually, it's a car
I'm thinking about buying.
415
00:18:46,968 --> 00:18:48,667
Mark said he'd come down
and take a look at it.
416
00:18:48,667 --> 00:18:51,133
Oh, well,
why didn't you
just say so?
417
00:18:51,133 --> 00:18:52,801
Why did you have to
be so difficult?
418
00:18:52,801 --> 00:18:55,133
Sorry.
That's okay.
419
00:18:55,133 --> 00:18:56,968
I guess I'll see you
at home, then.
420
00:18:56,968 --> 00:18:58,067
Bye.
421
00:19:01,801 --> 00:19:04,801
Hey, look,
when it comes to my life,
422
00:19:04,801 --> 00:19:06,300
I don't need your help.
423
00:19:06,300 --> 00:19:08,133
No, I think you do.
424
00:19:08,133 --> 00:19:10,968
I can't believe
you are risking your marriage
just to hurt me.
425
00:19:10,968 --> 00:19:12,667
Are you really
that jealous of me, Mark?
426
00:19:12,667 --> 00:19:13,734
I ain't jealous of nobody,
427
00:19:13,734 --> 00:19:14,734
especially you.
428
00:19:14,734 --> 00:19:16,334
Oh, come on, let's face it.
429
00:19:16,334 --> 00:19:19,133
Mr. Conner
is proud of me for something
you could never do.
430
00:19:19,133 --> 00:19:20,167
Oh, what?
431
00:19:20,167 --> 00:19:22,601
Walk under a table
without ducking?
432
00:19:24,834 --> 00:19:25,834
Fine.
433
00:19:25,834 --> 00:19:27,701
Put me down,
take a girl away from me,
434
00:19:27,701 --> 00:19:30,167
whatever it takes
to make you feel superior.
435
00:19:30,167 --> 00:19:32,501
Just remember one thing, Mark,
besides Becky,
436
00:19:32,501 --> 00:19:35,334
I'm the only person around here
that gives a crap about you.
437
00:19:41,501 --> 00:19:43,167
Hey.
438
00:19:43,167 --> 00:19:44,501
Hey.
439
00:19:44,501 --> 00:19:46,801
So what time
are you going to come by
and fix my car?
440
00:19:49,701 --> 00:19:52,033
I can't do it.
441
00:19:52,033 --> 00:19:53,968
You should go
to the concert.
442
00:20:00,367 --> 00:20:03,300
Closed-Captioned By
J.R. Media Services, Inc.
Burbank, CA
443
00:20:07,701 --> 00:20:09,367
[Jackie]
I still don't see
444
00:20:09,367 --> 00:20:11,868
why you couldn't
just get your wallet
in the morning.
445
00:20:11,868 --> 00:20:13,133
Actually, honey...
446
00:20:16,200 --> 00:20:17,534
that's not why
I brought you here.
447
00:20:17,534 --> 00:20:19,234
Oh, God.
448
00:20:19,234 --> 00:20:20,400
Oh, Fred!
449
00:20:20,400 --> 00:20:23,267
Oh, God,
let's do it someplace bad.
450
00:20:23,267 --> 00:20:26,400
Real bad!
451
00:20:26,400 --> 00:20:28,400
Tables are bad.
452
00:20:28,400 --> 00:20:30,234
Don't I know it.
453
00:20:30,234 --> 00:20:33,067
I can't wait to get up
on top of this table and--
454
00:20:33,067 --> 00:20:34,400
It's not too sturdy.
455
00:20:34,400 --> 00:20:35,567
How about the counter?
456
00:20:35,567 --> 00:20:38,901
Oh, the count--
Oh, the counter is better!
457
00:20:38,901 --> 00:20:40,834
You get served quicker there.
458
00:20:41,901 --> 00:20:42,901
Do you need
to see a menu
459
00:20:42,901 --> 00:20:44,501
or do you already know
what you want?
460
00:20:49,234 --> 00:20:51,234
What? What?
461
00:20:51,234 --> 00:20:53,434
It's kind of dirty.
462
00:20:53,434 --> 00:20:56,767
That's okay,
though, because sex
is supposed to be dirty.
463
00:20:56,767 --> 00:20:58,701
[Both giggling]
464
00:21:03,434 --> 00:21:06,100
You sure there's not,
like, a cot in here
or something?
465
00:21:06,100 --> 00:21:08,601
Fred, I know you're
kind of tense about this,
466
00:21:08,601 --> 00:21:09,934
but you just have to
try and relax
467
00:21:09,934 --> 00:21:12,601
because it's supposed
to be a fantasy!
468
00:21:12,601 --> 00:21:15,934
You tell me what
you want to do.
469
00:21:15,934 --> 00:21:17,100
You don't want to know
my fantasy.
470
00:21:17,100 --> 00:21:18,601
Fred, rea--
I'm your wife.
471
00:21:18,601 --> 00:21:20,400
We really should talk
about this stuff.
472
00:21:20,400 --> 00:21:22,067
You're just going
to get mad.
473
00:21:22,067 --> 00:21:23,434
No, I won't, Fred.
I swear to you.
474
00:21:23,434 --> 00:21:25,400
Whatever it is,
I'm not going to judge you.
475
00:21:25,400 --> 00:21:27,801
Okay.
476
00:21:27,801 --> 00:21:30,634
All my fantasies
are you and me...
477
00:21:30,634 --> 00:21:31,634
at home in bed.
478
00:21:31,634 --> 00:21:33,968
Really?
479
00:21:33,968 --> 00:21:35,734
Doing what?
480
00:21:40,133 --> 00:21:41,367
What we always do.
481
00:21:43,300 --> 00:21:45,601
Oh.
482
00:21:45,601 --> 00:21:51,467
I'm sorry, Jackie,
but that's what I like.
483
00:21:51,467 --> 00:21:54,133
Let's go home, Fred.
484
00:21:54,133 --> 00:21:55,133
You don't mind, do you?
485
00:21:55,133 --> 00:21:56,300
No, I don't.
No, not at all.
486
00:21:56,300 --> 00:22:00,667
You tried, and that's
the important thing.
487
00:22:00,667 --> 00:22:01,968
Thanks.
488
00:22:24,834 --> 00:22:28,334
Oh, man, I thought
they'd never leave.
489
00:22:28,334 --> 00:22:31,234
You know, baby,
I really missed you
since we broke up.
490
00:22:32,701 --> 00:22:34,968
Hey, let's go do it
on our table.
491
00:22:36,701 --> 00:22:38,968
You know, I've got
a better idea.
492
00:22:45,868 --> 00:22:49,300
Have you seen
the new ice machine?
34394
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.
Afrikaans
Albanian
Amharic
Arabic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bengali
Bosnian
Bulgarian
Catalan
Cebuano
Chichewa
Chinese (Simplified)
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Croatian
Czech
Danish
Dutch
English
Esperanto
Estonian
Finnish
French
Frisian
Galician
Georgian
German
Greek
Gujarati
Haitian Creole
Hawaiian
Hungarian
Icelandic
Indonesian
Irish
Italian
Japanese
Kazakh
Khmer
Korean
Kurdish (Kurmanji)
Kyrgyz
Lao
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Maltese
Maori
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Nepali
Norwegian
Pashto
Polish
Portuguese
Romanian
Russian
Samoan
Serbian
Sesotho
Shona
Sinhala
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Swahili
Swedish
Tajik
Thai
Turkish
Ukrainian
Urdu
Uzbek
Vietnamese
