Original subtitles

Nathan: Previously on

"Workin' Moms"...

- Yeah, this is gonna

be a lot easier

if I just let you listen

to the recording.

Brad: From now on,

I want you think about

how hard other women cum.

- What's goin' on in my pit?

Find some treasure

or something?

- You have a small lump

in your armpit.

- Do I have cancer?

Peri-menopause?

- You should take her.

- What?

- Take her.

- He can't get away with this.

- I'm not gonna let him.

Trust me when I say that

I am going to handle this.

Kate: Hmm.

Yeah, ever since givin' birth

to Charlie,

through my penis,

just doesn't look the same.

It's all stretched out

and weird.

Frankie: Yeah, I don't know,

still looks pretty elegant.

- Elegant?

What is this, brunch?

I want it to be intimidating.

- For the record, I find brunch

very intimidating.

Anne: After I gave birth,

I got 14 stitches.

It was a blood bath.

Like I broke a bone,

or some shit.

a bone.

- Well, you did sorta break

- Yeah, Percy pulled through,

though.

Percy's a real trooper.

- What, you call your dick

Percy?

- Yeah, I do.

- Cool.

- Go ahead, give it a touch.

- No, I'm good, man.

- Dude, this shit is sealed

tight.

- I don't...I believe,

I don't wanna--

- Wow, there's like no stretch

marks. How'd you do that?

- I just massaged it

with cocoa butter

before I went to bed

every night.

- You dirty dog.

Val: Um, fellas,

I'm gonna need ya to rein it

in here.

You know when we take it out,

it just turns into a pissing

contest.

Jade: Imagine having twins.

Ever seen that YouTube video

where that boa constrictor

is throwing up a cow?

Yeah, picture that.

And picture it again.

Alicia: I hate mine now.

I'm actually thinking

about getting

penile rejuvenation surgery.

Val: Whoa, hey now, Alicia,

that's crazy.

Come on now, our wives,

co-workers, friends,

they'll love us no matter

what our bodies look like.

Kate: Hmm.

- Now let's talk about how your

lives have changed

since becoming fathers.

- I find more women flirt with

me when I'm with my baby,

and I like that.

- Yeah, love that shit.

- Yeah.

- Sweet.

- Don't.

- My wife wants another one.

- I'm not. Why would I?

I'm pretty comfortable.

- Gosh, could you imagine

if women had to give birth?

- Through those enormous holes?

What a cake walk!

- Yeah, the babies

would just slide out.

- Oh, they wouldn't even have

to push, just .

- Pfft.

- They'd still find somethin'

to complain about though.

Am I right?

Am I right? Am I right?

Am I right? Am I right?

Am I right? Am I ri-i-i-i-i...

i-i-i-i-i-i-i.

Val!

Ugh!

Peri-fuckin'-menopause.

- Thanks for coming,

by the way.

I mean I could've done

this myself but--

- No, of course you could've,

but you don't have to,

'cause I got you.

And you were clear about

the location and time?

- Yeah. Yeah, yeah. I was clear

about all the details.

Asking women to come out of

hiding about a sexual predator.

I can't exactly demand

that they RSVP.

- Totally. You did this

perfectly.

- It's just like,

hard on my end,

to predict how much you know

like, tea and cake to bring.

that cake?

- Why did you even buy

- You said cake as a good idea?

- Not with that inscription.

- I thought it would lighten

the mood, you know,

like in the right way?

Like...

- Jesus Christ,

no one's coming. This...

this is so stupid.

This was a stupid idea.

Let's just clean up.

Just help me clean up.

- Okay, okay.

- Maybe before we go, we have

a little bit of cake?

It is funfetti.

- Stop it with the cake.

- You're a real downer,

you know that?

- Hi. Welcome to the par-

thank you...so much for coming.

- Hi, we know Brad Heshinton.

We're students of his.

- Please come in.

Th-this is a safe place

to talk about him.

- Yeah.

- I learned so much

in his class

that when he asked me to

go under, you know to-

to hypnotize me,

I thought it would be a great

opportunity to grow.

- Hypnotize, she said hyp-

did you hear?

- Stop it.

- But I have reason to believe

that he interfered

with my...judgment.

- How so?

to him,

- Well, I-I wasn't attracted

like not at all.

He was just a good teacher.

But when I woke up

from hypnosis,

Brad was on the couch next

to me,

with his arm around me,

and there was all these used

tissues on the table,

thinking that I was a...

and... I suddenly remember

a lost little girl.

That I was his lost

little girl.

Like those words exactly.

- A lost little girl wouldn't

come to a meeting like this,

that's for sure.

- That's right.

You sharing that story with us?

brave-ass woman.

That's behaviour of a strong,

- Yeah, I know. I know

you're right. I just um...

I have this, I have this

pit in my stomach

because I'm pretty sure

he was pleasuring himself...

while I was under.

- I believe you.

What he did?

That's on him.

You don't have to carry around

his sickness anymore.

And neither do you.

Did Brad hypnotize you as well?

- Uh, no.

- Damn it.

Sorry. Sorry. I'm sorry.

- Well, do you wanna share

your story with us?

I mean, we're here to listen,

but also,

you don't have to tell us.

- This is all just so strange.

- Yeah, I know.

- Would a slice of cake help?

- Um... no, I'm okay.

It's a nice touch though.

- Oh.

- So he asked to meet me

at his apartment, which...

I thought was strange,

there sometimes.

but I know he met students

And um,

we started talking

about control.

You see, he was helping me...

discover how controlling I am.

He came up with this,

um, exercise.

- And what was that?

pee until I got his permission.

- He said I couldn't...

So um...

after a couple hours,

I had to go really bad, and...

I told him he'd made his point,

and I tried to go to the

washroom, and he blocked me.

Then, when I tried to leave

his apartment,

he said that I wasn't going

anywhere unless...

I um...

peed my pants.

- Um, so I did.

Rosie:

Interested in assessing

your needs?

Interested in a little

one-on-one?

- Kate?

- Oh, Thursday sounds so good.

Okay, talk then. Bye, bye.

Oh.

Hi, Mr. Foster.

You're home so early.

How was Ottawa?

Where's Kate and my son and...

were you just having phone sex?

- I was just doing some

cold calls for Kate.

Sexy voice, it really helps

my confidence.

Charlie's at daycare,

and Kate's at a breakfast

meeting.

Her and her gal pals really

went at it last night.

Which is why it looks

like a crack house.

Nobody did crack, just weed,

and...

a bunch of rose,

by the looks of things.

They were celebrating the news.

- Sorry, news?

- You know about Kate

not having cancer.

- What?

- Burt, she's here.

Burt: Mike, I'm gonna have

to call you back.

All right? Yeah. Okay.

Bye, thanks.

- Hi!

Kate, hey.

- Hi. No need to sit.

I'll make this quick.

- Oh.

- So, I had the chance

to look over the work

you put together for us,

and it's...good.

- Oh.

- It's great, actually.

Yeah, but we're not gonna hire

your firm to represent us.

- Oh.

- Uh, look.

Though you may not be green,

your company is,

and we can't hire a start-up

to manage our image.

It would be irresponsible

of us,

get on board.

and our investors would never

- Well I... I understand,

but, I--

- You're clearly bright.

And after a few years,

if your company survives,

which most don't,

we can have another

conversation.

- Okay.

- In the meantime uh,

maybe I can help you get

through this first year.

- You wanna donate some

pencils?

- You see, we have this event

happening next week

that needs some managing.

It's just a one-off,

but it's a job.

Whadda ya think?

- I-I think yeah! Thank you.

- Good, uh, because we need

eyes on it... today.

- Amazing! Yeah!

- Okay. It's just one event.

- Yeah it is. That's aw-

uh, thank you so much.

- Pleasure. Thank you.

- Thank you.

- Great work.

- Thank you.

please leave a message

- This is Nathan Foster,

and I'll promptly return

your call.

- Ah! You'd better

promptly return my call!

I have got such big news,

Nathan. Call me back

as soon as you get this, okay?

Where are you anyway? Call me!

Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes!

YES! Oh.

- Look at this.

- Hey.

- Hi.

- Can you say hi.

Got all my fave ladies,

and all my fave animals.

Life doesn't get any

better than that.

- These are all your fave

animals here?

- Totally.

Farm animals are just as cool,

if not cooler than those fancy,

exotic animals at the big zoos.

- Are they, though?

- Okay, we'll ask Zoe.

Hey, baby girl, which one

do you like best, huh?

I think this guy likes you.

Say hi.

Aw, I mean, she's so good

with animals.

She's totally gonna be a

veterinarian. Or vegetarian.

Or you know, both.

- That's so sweet.

Hey listen, I gotta pee.

Would you mind watching her

for a minute?

- Oh I, uh, sorry,

I just don't really know

what to do with her,

with you? I'll stay here.

so can you just take her

- Show her to the ewes.

Guaranteed hit.

She'll love 'em.

- I don't really feel

that comfortable, Ian.

Can you just...

just take her with you.

- It's fine,

she's a cute little...

- I don't want to. Okay?

I don't really do kids, Ian.

- Okay?

Wait, what does that mean?

Domestic angel present,

if you care to notice.

- What's your big news?

- Oh, uh, I officially have

my first client.

- Good for you.

- Hmm.

- Is that all?

- Well, Nathan, I'm sorry,

but that's kinda huge, right,

that means my business

is actually in business.

- Great! Means your investment

wasn't in vein.

Money well spent.

- Yeah.

- Isn't there anything

you wanna tell me?

- What's happening?

- Like you don't have cancer?

- Oh God!

Nathan, I wanted to tell you,

but...

- But what? You don't tell me

anything!

First it was Frankie moving in.

Then it was you using

the settlement money

running it out of our house!

to start a business, and

And now I have to hear

from Rosie, of all people,

that you might've had cancer!

But wait, good news, you don't.

So you throw a party.

With your friends.

Like I don't even fucking exist.

- Okay, well hold on.

This all happened while you

were outta town, okay.

I went to the doctor because

I was feeling really tired,

and he didn't like

explicitly say

that I have cancer.

Well, anyway, I used you know,

the internet for like,

a second opinion.

- Why wouldn't you call me?

- I-I, you know, I got scared,

and I started feeling guilty,

and then I like,

was envisioning like,

leaving you and Charlie alone.

I don't know! I just got like,

lost in the whole thing.

And then I found out that

I actually have... a...

- You have what, Kate?

- Well...

- Kate!

- I got peri-menopause.

- Menopause.

How's that even possible?

Unless you're lying

about your age, too?

- Peri-menopause. It's not like

menopause, menopause,

it's like younger. It's like

the sexy, it's sexy menopause.

- What the fuck

are you talking about?

pregnant,

- It means I still get

but my door is closing.

- When were you gonna tell me

about that?

- To be honest?

- Yes, please,

that would be refreshing.

- I-I've been scared to, okay,

because I finally get my

business up and running,

want a second child.

and I know how much you

- Since when do you care

about what I want?

- Well...

- You just go ahead and do

whatever it is you want,

every time anyways.

Just keep me in the dark,

so I don't get in your way.

- Okay, hold on. Nathan,

- Don't bother. I'm goin' out.

- Wait.

Nathan...

So goddamn hot in here.

Menopause.

Ian: What did you mean when

you said you don't do kids?

- Uh, it means that

I can't have kids.

My ex-husband and I tried to

have kids for like, six years.

And I've had more miscarriages

than you can--

I had no idea.

- How could you?

It's not something

I usually open with.

Anyways, I know that I'm

getting ahead of myself here,

but I have to,

because I don't think that

I can take another loss.

Look at her, she's everything

that I've always wanted,

and now that you have Zoe

full time,

I-I just don't want

to get attached to her,

in case things don't work out

between you and me.

What? N-n-n-n-no, you don't

need to hide her. Stop it.

It's not her fault.

It's not your fault... either.

Listen, I think that it would

be best for all of us,

Zoe included,

if I just walk away right now,

before things get you know,

complicated.

- Sonia, I-

Frankie: Atta girl, Greta!

Go for it!

for dessert.

And save some room

- What is it?

- Oh, I don't know,

just like some chocolate cake

with like,

strawberries and whipped cream!

- You're a good woman,

Aunt Frankie!

- The place is pretty sweet,

Frank.

- Yeah, thanks, bro. I'm happy.

- Well, you could slice some

real tail here.

- Okay, did you forget

to ear candle, man?

- What?

- I told you,

I'm on a romance hiatus.

I'm not even kissing anyone

for like, six months,

or seven years.

- Yeah, right.

Oh! I'll get it!

- Hey, psst. You order pizza?

- Hey!

- Hi! Come in!

- Oh.

- Frankie, meet new neighbour,

Bianca.

- Hi.

- I tried hitting on here

when she was out

but uh,

watering her garden,

turns out she's gay,

like you, so...

- Wow, Howie, that's--

- Daddy!

- What?!

- Maybe I should go.

- No. Oh, no, no, no, please.

Ignore my insane brother.

Please join us. Please.

- Yeah.

Greta: Eat your corn,

and you can have cake.

Bianca: Oh, thank you.

Thanks.

Looks great.

- Yeah.

- The Dean just said it

was urgent.

- He probably just wants

to talk golf.

I always beat him, you know.

- So you've said.

John,

this better be good!

Ladies, to what do I owe

the pleasure?

- Shut the door, and take

a seat, Dr. Heshinton.

- Anne!

- Brad.

- Does anyone wanna tell me

what exactly is going on?

- Sit down, Brad.

These ladies have presented

an affidavit

with very damaging,

and frankly, disturbing

stories about you.

- Well, I'm sure there's

a misunderstanding there?

it doesn't appear

- Unfortunately,

to be a misunderstanding.

- What are you talking about?

- You always told me that I

should be a better listener.

So, I recorded our session.

- You know she's my ex-wife,

right?

- Yeah. What about us?

- Remember this?

Brad: You know, sometimes I

masturbate to the time

that you and I had sex

on that boat in Maine.

Do you remember that, Annie?

I could barely hear you climax

over the sound of the ocean.

I think that's what--

- Hey, enough! Hey, enough!

We hear it! Off! Off!

Turn it off! Anne!

John!

- This is outrageous,

Okay, you're...

you, John, you're hearing

from my lawyer about this.

- I'd say a lawyer was

a good idea, Brad.

As of this morning,

I've alerted the Board

that you're no longer a

professor on staff, here.

- Oh!

- I've also filed a complaint

with the Medical Counsel

of Canada.

- John, no-no... okay.

Hold on. Um...

- Looks like you've molested

your last mind.

Hey! Where'd you go?

- Went out for a drive.

about what you said.

- I've been thinking

And you're right.

Look, I don't want a baby

right now,

but I wasn't 100% sold

on having Charlie, either,

and he's one of my top two

favourite creatures

on this earth.

I don't have time to wait

'til everything feels perfect.

So maybe it doesn't have

to be my way, or your way.

Let's just support each other,

you know?

From now on, when I make a...

before I make a decision,

I'll let you know, okay?

Okay.

I guess we'll wait and see,

won't we?

- Yeah.