Original subtitles

Nathan: Previously

on "Workin' Moms"...

- This is it?

- What about all the stuff

you said about

gettin' outta the house?

- Well, I did-I did you outta

your house.

- Oh, hello, Dr. Carlson.

- You stay away from me,

and stay away from my family.

- You're leaving.

- Hi, Frank!

- Just pretend like I'm not

here. But I am!

- From now, when you climax,

I want you to think about

how hard other women cum,

experience is.

and how shallow your own

- Has anyone hit a toddler

milestone

that doesn't have to do

with human excrement?

- I got one.

- Hmm.

- Jayme's hit a pretty crucial

milestone... showing defiance.

belongs on the chart.

- I'm not sure that really

- She punched me right

in the tit.

- That deserves a good star,

Val.

Woman: Yes!

Alicia: Ooh. Val,

what would qualify

as a milestone?

Like, does judgment count, or,

'cause Mabel has been eyeing

me, constantly.

She audibly scoffed

when I tried on capris.

I think she might be a bitch.

- 100%.

- Definitely.

- Yeah.

Jade: I'd take a bitch any day.

plotting about what?

Sometimes I catch my boys

I don't know yet,

but it's gonna be bad.

- Tit punch.

Carly: Hey, Anne,

.

It's Carly again.

I just thought you should know

that thanks to Professor Brad,

I'm learning self control.

He has me in these hypnotherapy

sessions.

Anyways, I really hope one day

we can be friends.

Okay, that's it.

So sorry again. Bye.

Anne: Lionel!

- Did she get any her mouth?

- Lionel!

- Oh my God.

How long have you been

standing there for?

- I gotta talk to you

about something.

- Can it wait?

Mean Nanny needs me

to clean the car seat

so she can take Jayme

on a playdate.

- Can't she just do

this herself?

- She says that car accessories

aren't in her pay grade.

- So um, I uh,

I, I wasn't totally honest

with you

about stuff with

Brad Heshinton.

- He did something to me,

- What?

and I-I think that he might be

doing it to other women, too.

- Okay?

- I'm just gonna jump in.

I'm just gonna...

Okay, so uh, when I found out

that he was my work neighbour,

I also found out

that he's now a hypnotist.

And um,

after talking to him

for a while,

I let me hypnotize me.

- Hypnotize you?

Hypnotize you!

Oh! Okay. Uh, okay. Okay!

I thought you were gonna

say that you guys had sex...

or something, so...

- You know, this is gonna be

a lot easier

if I just let you listen

to the recording.

- Uh, sorry, recording?

Brad: In 2, 3, and out, 2, 3.

What do you like to do

prepare for sleep?

- Ugh!

Shut up, Val!

Ugh!

Frankie: Hey, Kate, you up?

I made momlettes.

Kate: Momlettes, 'cause they're

omelettes for moms?

- Indeed!

- Frankie, you know things like

that make me want you to leave.

- Yeah, fair enough.

- What are your plans

for the day?

- Uh yeah, I'm actually headed

to the doctor.

I've been having these like,

night sweats,

just waking up in the middle

of the night, drenched.

Always exhausted.

postpartum bullshit,

It's probably just some delayed

but I thought I'd get it

checked out.

- Yeah well, aside

from how amazing it is,

being a woman is garbage.

But I'm so pumped

for this interview today.

about getting back to work,

I'm just really excited

and then I'm gonna find

my own place.

- Well look, if you wanna raid

my closet for some new looks,

have at it.

You know, like

if you wanna show Wendy

that some changes

have been made?

- Oh! Right, yeah,

like I used to be nuts,

but now I'm in a blazer?

- Yeah.

- Sa-weet!

Maybe I should move in

permanently.

- Mhm.

Oh God, these things

are so tight!

Brad: When you climax,

I want you to think about

how hard other women cum,

and how shallow your

own experience is.

- He's a fuckin' dead man.

Brad: We're gonna bring you

back now.

- Lionel, Lionel!

Where are you going?

- The piece of shit thinks

he can manipulate you?

Manipulate your orgasms?

Well, I'm gonna manipulate

his skull

into something that no longer

resembles a skull!

- No! Lionel! Ja!

- No! Get off me!

- No!

- Stop it!

- Ah! No!

- Stop it!

- I need this!

- Stop! You don't need this!

What are you gonna do?

You gonna bash his brains with

a girl's baseball bat? Huh?

End up in jail?

in any way?

How does that help me

- Anne, he can't get away

with this!

He sexually assaulted you!

He-he, worse.

He molested your mind.

- Ugh!

- Okay, he molested your mind.

- No! It...

I am, I am a strong

and independent woman, okay?

- Yeah, yeah, who put her faith

in a professional,

that abused that trust,

and then molested her mind.

- Please stop saying that.

- He can't get away with this.

- I know, and I'm not gonna

let him.

Trust me when I say that I am

going to handle this.

Okay?

- Okay.

- I just, I'm not...

I don't... know how, yet.

- Well, if only you were

an empowered woman

with a deep understanding

of the human psyche,

and an enraged common-law

spouse who loves you

and has your back.

You go get the bastard!

- Rumour has it,

I asked to see you?

Frank, come in. Take a seat.

- Okay, you know what, Wend,

I have a uh, lot of important

things to say,

and I think it's-think

it's just better

if I say them standing up.

- Sure, Frank, you do you.

- First of all, I really,

I know how I left things here.

I've had a lot of time

to think--

- Yeah, okay honey,

I want you back.

- Oh.

- Chuck and Linda are useless.

They have the personal skills

of a couple of hamsters.

- Well, hamsters can be very

personable

if you just give 'em a little--

- You have always had good

numbers,

and I could use that right now.

I do, legally, have to ask you

one question.

Are you a liability?

- Yup, yeah, that is a fair

question, Wendy,

and uh, I could answer it

for hours,

but uh, because I know you're

in a rush,

I'm gonna keep it super quick.

Um, I've had counselling.

I sleep 8 hours a night.

I stay hydrated,

and I do sun salutations

every morning.

- Oh, okay, yeah. Sold!

- Oh!

- Welcome back, Frankie.

- Great!

And I promise, next time,

I will wear a skirt that

I can actually sit down in.

- Thought it was

an odd ensemble.

- Can't feel either ass cheek.

Kate: Doc, hi!

(Door squeaks

and clicks closed)

of some marketing or PR?

- You by chance in need

I couldn't help but notice some

pretty lack-lustre pamphlets

out there.

- No.

- Hmm.

- What brings you in?

- Oh um, it's probably nothing,

but I've been having these

like, night sweats.

- What kind of night sweats?

- Uh, well I um,

I've been like sweating...

at night?

- Well, how much sweat?

Can you wring out your pyjamas?

Are you soaked?

- Not soaked, but like,

you know, pretty damp.

sweats

- We don't consider them night

if you can't wring out

your pyjamas.

- Oh, well I'm still pretty

wet, like--

- Can you wring them out?

- No. No, I cannot.

Guess I'm fine.

- Any other symptoms?

- I am like, perpetually

tired for no reason.

- Any added stress

in your life lately?

- No.

Oh, well, I'm starting

a new business

because I was fired from...

two jobs.

So... there's that.

- Well...

- And Nathan is away this week.

And my dad is dead.

Uh, suddenly actually.

- Oh.

So, you know

it hurts, you know.

A lot, but...

So that's probably, you know,

like that's it, probably.

- Go ahead and lie down.

- Yeah. No, yeah.

Just when your dad dies,

it's like,

yowch, you know.

What's that?

What's goin' on in my pit?

You find some treasure

or something?

- You can sit up now.

You have a small lump

in your armpit,

nothing necessarily

to worry about,

but it's also not normal.

I'm ordering an ultrasound

and blood-work

for processing immediately.

- S... uh, sorry, not normal?

think it is?

Um, what-what do you

I use a lot of cheap deodorant,

so it...

What's the worst-case scenario?

Sorry, your silence is

like deafening right now.

What's goin' on?

Do I have cancer?

ultrasound, and go from there.

- Why don't we do the

Give this requisition

to the lab downstairs.

- Okay. Brad...

Heshinton, let's see

who is else out here.

Have you seen...

this piece of shit in your...

neighbourhood?

I can't. That's...

- Look out for this face.

He's a hypnotist.

And a fucking...

- Come on!

Lionel: Come on, Anne,

let's go!

- Fuck!

- You've reached

Dr. Anne Carlson,

please leave a message.

- How do I look?

- Oh, great. So great.

- Ha. Awesome.

Bye!

Charlie: Bye!

Rosie: Kate? You're gonna be

late for you meeting!

Receptionist: Hello? Hello?

Mister Neb is waiting for you

at the end of the hall, ma'am.

- Uh, thank-thank you.

It's okay,

it's okay, it's okay.

Come on, you fucking pussy,

get it-good afternoon.

Now, I have taken the time

to look through your...

materials here,

and your partner, Mr. Mull.

- Hmm.

- Is everything okay?

- Yeah, I should-I should warn

you, um,

I'm having a bit of an off day.

Today.

- Uh, oh.

- We just found out that my-my

my partner, Steve,

uh, Steve is um...

dying.

Cancer.

- Oh.

- Of the breast.

It's not so common with men,

it's um,

it's pretty common

with the woman.

- Huh. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

- Anyway, I'm sorry he can't be

here at this, this meeting,

but as you can imagine,

he's taking some time to um,

uh, get his affairs in order.

To say his goodbyes.

- Here we go.

Jesus H. Christ.

I'm so sorry.

- Please, take all the time...

- No! No, it's okay.

He's so young. He's a father.

Frankie: So we are loving

the second and third floor

for you guys, right?

- Right.

- Now, this furnished main

floor, and basement,

could be a rental unit, right?

- Hmm.

- Make some income on the side?

- I guess.

- It's not bad.

- Not bad? All right, Vince,

you don't sound pleased,

even though I've been showing

you dynamite all day long.

He is not the easiest guy to

impress, is he, Marky Mark?

- Uh uh.

for sure, it's just...

- It's a great apartment

- Just...?

- We've had some really bad

experiences

with renters in the past.

- We had one guy clean us out.

Even took the toilet.

- Yes, yes, renters

can be a gamble.

But every once in a while,

you find like,

that perfect person.

- I guess you're right.

- I mean, look at this gem!

Holy smokes!

You even have a stew corner.

For stew makin'.

Don't get me started on the

soaker tub in the bathroom.

And that cute little treehouse

in the backyard.

- You know, this apartment

would be really great

for young professionals.

- Or, a young-ish professional,

and a mixed-race up-and-coming

child?

- It's kind of perfect.

- Sure.

Extra income would be a perk.

- Well, I've always wanted

a child... as a neighbour.

- Could we just stop for

a second?

- Yeah, okay.

You know, for the record,

I do support you busting

this creep.

the fact

But it doesn't change

that you hid something

from me... again!

- Look, I feel awful about

the Brad thing,

you know that.

But... part of my job,

as your partner,

the things that I know

is to not tell you about

are just gonna upset you.

- Anne, please.

You didn't tell me about going

to an abortion clinic.

'Member that?

- Lionel!

Ugh! How far is it

to the car?

- Too far!

know something

You wanna...you wanna

that I've been keeping

from you, just so it's even?

I know it's weird

that Alice found out

about us not being married,

and she's really hung up on it,

for some reason,

which I can't figure out,

but did you ever think

to ask how I feel about it?

Like, I never got to dress up,

or have a big party,

like you did.

Not that your wedding was fun.

I know from experience

that it wasn't, but I mean,

other people have fun weddings.

like maybe

I guess I just kinda feel

I'm missing out on something.

- Can we just stop for

a second?

Just wait there.

Can you take off

that stupid hat

and give me your hand?

And while you're at it,

phoney ring?

can you get rid of that

Lionel, I want you

to have everything

that you dream about...

within reason.

Will you marry me?

- I respectfully decline.

- What?!

- Anne, this is all I've ever

wanted, ever,

but when you marry me,

I want it to be

because I'm the most beautiful

boy in the room,

not because you're compensating

for some lie you told

about your ex-husband.

- Are you serious?

Ugh! Hurry up, neck flap!

What the fuck?

Kate: Hey, it's me. There's

something in my armpit.

I'm pretty sure the doctor's

implying cancer,

and AIDS or .

Call me terminal.

Run!

Rosie: I'm just gonna say it.

I know it was last minute,

but still.

I think everyone coulda

stepped it up in attire.

Charlie: Yeah.

- Yeah.

Oh.

Oh, Rhoda, you're a mess.

Use your-use your spoon,

please.

That's right, Rhoda,

use your spoon,

for some tea, eh?

Mix the tea with the...

...no, baby, mix the tea.

- Shut the hell up, Rosie.

I'm about to find out

if I have cancer.

- What? Oh my God, Kate!

This is Kate.

Peri-menopause?

Unbelievable!

- Dude, the takeaway here is

that you don't have cancer.

- Yeah, the other takeaway is

that I'm in my sunset years,

all of a sudden.

Ugh, God.

Like, I may as well have

cancer.

- Whatever.

- Stop saying that!

I'm basically a Golden Girl.

Right, though?

Ugh, and the worst part is

that Nathan's gonna find out,

and he's just gonna wanna

fill my body with a baby.

- Yeah, you're probably not

wrong, there.

too, you know?

- Maybe I want a second kid

Just not right now.

- Uh uh.

- God, I wish I had more time.

Fuck.

Frankie: Yeah well, you don't.

- Thanks, Frank.

- Hey, I got you.

I am your goddamn godparent.

- And I'm yours. Deal?

- Deal.

- Your shoes are always

so nice and clean.

Like nature-defying.

- Holy shit, Frankie. Yes!

- What! Frankie!

- What?

- Hey, come on.

- I had too much!