Original subtitles

Nathan: Previously

on "Workin' Moms"...

- I'm a huge fan of yours,

Dr. Carlson.

I'm Carly.

- Hi Carly, it's nice

to meet you.

- All right, so let's get this

script into fighting shape,

and we will be off

to the races.

- Cool.

- I'm so sorry, my son

is in intensive care.

- Are you out of your damn mind?

Going to the hospital

might ease your guilt,

but think about what you lose.

- You left a very serious

taste in Stromanger's mouth.

Anne: You didn't let

Richard down,

Richard disappointed you.

He let you down.

- I think I ruined my life.

I'm surprised you came.

Okay.

I'll keep this short.

I...

Richard, what I did

was unforgivable.

I know.

But I had a reason.

You guys took away my only

passion, you know, what I...

what I loved to do, and...

and Stromanger made me choose

my baby or my job,

and I'm not sure that

it was fair, but--

- It wasn't.

- It wasn't?

- I can't say much, there's

a lot of things at play, here.

But what Stromanger did

to you,

maybe she wouldn't have done

to a man?

So, all I'm saying, Kate,

is that if you wanted to make

a stink, you could.

- I don't know what that

would get me.

- A settlement.

in this life,

You don't get what you deserve

you get what you fight for.

You still drink vodka?

- You still pee standing?

I'll be right back.

Kate: To alert you to be

borderline cruel...

How do I write this without

it coming off as a threat?

- What? It should be

threatening, Kate.

almost missed your son's death.

Just a little reminder, you

Lionel: Hold on a second,

Charlie didn't actually die.

- That woman threatened

your job

in the middle of a true

medical emergency.

- Listen up, girlfriend, you

wanna come outta this on top?

I got three words for you.

I'm talking to the press.

- Definitely five words.

- Gross, yuck. No.

- You know I'm in public

relations, right?

- Threaten to talk

to Deborah Stanbro.

Corporate lawyers hate her.

- Deborah Stanbro--

- Investigative reporter.

She's their worst nightmare,

and my Mah-jongg partner.

rather not take the low road.

- No offence, Val, but I'd

I'm just gonna tell them

the truth,

tell them the facts,

and let them know they hurt me.

- Just hit 'em with the facts,

and then you expose your heart.

- Right.

- Deborah Stanbro.

Both: Okay.

your passionate letter.

- Ms. Foster, we received

- Good.

- And we recognize that last

year was a difficult one for

you.

- Yes, thank you.

- But, my colleagues and I were

shocked by this document.

- What? But I was--

- Completely, emotionally

indulgent.

Look, Ms. Foster, you've

achieved a reputation

of being able to articulate

yourself

without resorting to theatrics.

But the Board agrees,

this letter is disgraceful.

- Okay.

I will go to the press.

- Do you know Deborah Stanbro,

investigative journalist?

her, and she has my back, so.

Well, I play Mah-jongg with

I'm sure the Board

would be very happy

if I walked out of here quietly,

but I'm not sure what kind

of leverage you have,

outside of shaming me.

And I don't feel shame,

not anymore,

not for prioritizing my son

over a deli meat presentation.

Shame on you.

- Well, okay then.

Perhaps we can agree...

to part ways,

amicably, and quietly.

- Honestly, I doubt any amount

of money

is gonna make much of a

difference at this point.

That is an insane

amount of money.

- I'm gonna get you to sign

this release.

- Mhm. Okay.

We are celebratin' today,

ladies,

'cause thanks to the advice

of Val Szalinsky,

mama got herself a settlement.

- Woooo! Yeah!

- This is my way of returning

the favor.

mask?

- Kate, is this a stem cell

- Yeah, it is!

- Whoa, aren't stem cell masks

made of like,

umbilical cords, or foreskin,

or something like that?

- Ugh, Frankie, why you gotta

make everything so gross?

- What are you gonna spend

the money on?

business.

- Alicia, that's none of our

Though, it is a good question.

What are you thinking, Kate?

Statement necklaces?

- No actually, I've decided -

thanks to a very good

push from Anne,

- Hmm.

- ...to go into business

for myself.

- Oh finally!

- Hallelujah!

- What a relief!

- Long time.

- Guys, I'm touched. I had no

idea that you were so eager

to see me go off on my own?

- Oh, it's not that.

- I think we're all just glad

to hear

that you and Anne

are friends again.

- Oh, I've never felt so much

damn tension in my life.

- So awkward!

- So horrible.

- The rage.

- Uh, Cher?

- Oh, hello, Dr. Carlson.

- Carly, you're Cher?

- Mhm.

- Like, the singer?

- From the movie, "Clueless".

So, listen, it was so great

to meet you, the other day,

and I know that we said

we were gonna go for coffee,

but I just thought,

why don't I book a session

and surprise you?

- Okay, but--

- That way,

I can pick that enormous brain

of yours,

while knowing that I'm

compensating you for your time.

to listen to me talk

- I'm sorry, so you wanna pay

about myself for an hour?

- Pretty much.

- Yeah, I mean,

I can get behind that.

Kate: Good morning.

Coffee?

- Ooh, yes, please.

But this is not coffee.

- It is better than coffee,

baby.

- Holy shit,

is this your severance?

- Enough zeroes for ya?

- Wow! This is insane!

- I know.

- Oh my God! I feel like

we can finally chill out.

- I know.

- Oh.

And start talking

about our second kid.

- What?

- I said, you know, talk about

havin' another kid.

- I... Nathan, no way!

I have been waiting

for this opportunity.

I can finally start my own

business.

- Your own business,

what are you, crazy?

I mean, last year you killed

yourself

to get all the way to Montreal,

only to have to come

all the way back.

And then this year,

you had two jobs,

and some crazy personal stuff.

I mean, Jesus,

can't you just relax?

- I'm relaxed when I'm working.

- Oh that's... great.

in when you're with us?

What kinda state are you

- I'm sorry. I know how

that sounds, I just--

- Look, I have to go,

but this conversation

is not over.

- Of course not.

- Just promise me you won't put

anything into motion,

until I get back. Okay?

- I promise.

Cheers!

So I'm starting my own

business, and I was hoping--

- I've already done it.

- You-you've done what?

- Designed your logo.

- Oh! Oh, that's great!

I'd love to see it.

Whadda ya got?

- Okay, great. Just remember,

these are only mock-ups.

- Totally. Yeah.

- Okay?

Here's the first one.

Behold, Kate Foster Public

Relations.

- Hmm.

-'Cause she knocks it outta

the park.

- I don't know what this

is selling, exactly.

- Okay, uh...

yeah, I can see how that

might be a bit much.

Um...I'll just go ahead

and keep this one

for my personal records.

- Sorry?

- There's this one,

it's kinda plain.

I guess...someone might

respond to it.

- Yeah?

- Yeah.

Rosie, the real reason I asked

you here today,

was to offer you a job.

- Oh...wow. Where?

- What do you mean, where?

Kate Foster Public Relations.

- Oh, Kate,

I'm so flattered but...

I just don't think I can commit

to a start-up, you know.

- What?

How stable can that be?

What are you doing

for money right now?

- Phone sex.

Yeah, I'll come work for you.

- Mhm.

- So, how much do I owe you

for to--

- No, please, no.

Put that away.

- I booked a session,

and I intend to pay for it.

- I talked about my boring life

for an hour.

I should be paying you.

- Well...at least let me take

you for lunch.

- Yeah?

Um...

how does noon work?

- Great!

coolest woman I've ever met.

I seriously think you are the

- Tell that to my daughter.

- I'm sure Alice thinks

you're cool.

- You know my daughter's name?

- Facebook.

- Are we Facebook friends?

- Request pending.

Fingers crossed.

We're like, obsessed

with each other.

- Welcome to Kate Foster

Public Relations!

- This is it?

Your basement.

- Well yeah, Rosie,

what did you expect?

I'm not Don Draper.

- What about all the stuff

you said about

gettin' outta the house?

- Well, I did get you outta

your house.

- Where's my desk?

- Uh, we'll start ya off here,

with me.

- Do I even get a chair?

- Do you get a chair.

Of course you get a chair.

What is this, huh?

It's kind of a tricky dicky,

but ya...

here we go. See?

Yeah.

- Yeah.

- Okay, look, she's on one nap

a day between 2 and 3-ish.

Don't let it go any later

than that,

because then she has trouble

at bedtime.

- Yeah, got it.

- Okay.

- You look nice.

- Thanks, I have a meeting with

this studio guy

he's interested in the script.

I just didn't want him

to think I'm a slob.

- Huh, I don't think

he'll think that.

- Thank you. Do you have

everything?

- Yeah! I got it!

- Uh, she needs snacks between

meals, and--

- Just like us.

- Just like us!

- Look, it's not that I don't

have confidence in you,

because I do,

I've got confidence comin' out

my eyeballs.

- Okay.

- It's just that Dmitri

is a lot.

He's pretentious, he's weird,

he's foreign,

he's an asshole.

If we're lucky, he's gay,

but I'm not 100%.

- Okay, but he likes my script,

right?

- He loves your script.

Are you ready, handsome?

- I'm ready.

I have problem with

the ice cream man.

- Uh...he's a, he's a pretty

important character.

what the problem is?

Do you mind if I ask uh,

- Yes, I am lactose intolerant.

- Oh, yeah.

- Just kidding.

I'm drinking cappuccino,

right now,

as we are speaking.

- You are.

- No, but seriously,

I have a problem

with the main character.

Nobody wants to see a man

stay home with baby.

It's not sexy.

Can we give him super powers?

Maybe he can jump very fast,

or something.

- Oh, I like that.

Yeah, it's great.

- What? I-I--

- Maybe he has soft bones,

for crevices.

Shannon: Oh, I like that.

Dmitri: You should.

- Dmitri, ...

I'm sorry, but you're wrong.

There is an audience out there,

looking for a story

about a single father.

I know this,

because I'm a single father.

I wrote this thing because

I wanna see guys like me

represented on screen.

And if that doesn't work

for you,

doesn't work for me.

- Uh... okay, maybe we can--

- I see you have some big

balls.

Shannon: Okay, maybe we

can just take a little...

- I'm sorry guys, I gotta go.

It's an emergency.

This is my baby's mother.

- Oh!

What are you doing?

Sit down!

Ian: Jenny? What happened?

Is Zoe okay?

- Ian, I'm--

I am so sorry. I just,

I ran in for a minute.

They won't let me

take her, so--

in the car!

- She had left her child

- Miss--

- While she was sniffing produce

for, I don't even know how long!

- Hey, I think she feels bad

enough, huh?

Police: Sir. You the father?

- Yes, hi, my name is Ian.

I'm-I'm Zoe's daddy.

I've got her uh,

right here,

I've got her birth certificate

I've got about 1,000 pictures

of us

at breakfast this morning.

She says that French toast is

her favorite, but it's not.

It's the maple syrup

that she loves.

If I put it on spinach,

she'd eat it. Um--

- Yeah, okay, I got it.

You're lucky your daughter's

all right.

We've seen this case

turn out differently.

- Hey, baby.

- Very differently.

- Hi.

- Do...I...are you...

is that my haircut?

- I think it suits me!

Don't you think?

It's like I'm your twin.

Even though my hips are twice

the width of yours.

- Uh...I mean, in a weird way,

and it is...it is weird,

it's kinda flattering?

- I'm embarrassed,

but if you don't mind,

I do have a couple follow-up

questions?

- Oh, so the interview's

not over?

- So how long were you married

to Brad?

- How do you even know that?

- Facebook.

- I am 101% sure

that's not on Facebook.

What are you up to?

- I'm not up to anything, Anne.

- You know far too much

about me,

You know my daughter's name,

even in the age of Facebook.

you showed up with this

"Single White Female" haircut,

and you know that

I was married to Brad.

- I just thought it would

be fun to talk

about the mole on his cock.

If you don't mind, I do have

a couple follow-up questions.

- Listen to me.

You stay away from me,

and stay away from my family,

or I will tie you up, and pluck

every hair from your nose...

until you die of dehydration

from the tears

running down your cheeks.

- That was very specific.

- By the way, you should really

consider seeing a doctor.

In the short time

that I've known you.

I already diagnosed you

with borderline personality

disorder.

And a severe case of halitosis.

Same fucking hair. Like I was

looking in a goddamn mirror.

I was gonna kick her ass.

- God, watching you fight

is up there

with eating dinner in bed

for me. The tops!

- For real, I am so glad that

we're friends again,

because it is slim pickens

out there.

- Yeah.

Use the sponge.

- Shit! Someone's here.

What if it's her?

- Oh my God, what if it's Brad

to help you

with your weak-ass orgasm?

- Okay, I'll call

you later

to let you know I haven't been

murdered.

Hey... congrats again.

- Thank you.

Hello?

What are you doing here?

- Well, Anne, I just thought

I'd swing by

and check out your new office,

who loves his wife.

because I am a sweet man,

- So you were in

the neighborhood,

and you had to go

to the bathroom?

- Doesn't matter why I'm here,

what matters

is what I found out

when I came here.

- Okay, what did you find--

Shit.

- Why didn't you tell me that

you were working

next to your ex-husband,

this entire time?

I'm a cuck.

I'm a cuckold. Cuck.

- Stop cucking!

Do you think that Brad

and I were...

what, making out in my office?

what I think.

- No, no, that's not

- Good! Because, we're not!

- Good!

- I didn't tell you, because I

knew you would be upset.

I'm really sorry. Okay?

- Okay. Okay.

It's just, but the idea

of you two just sitting

on each other's doctor's

couches,

and giving each other

prescriptions,

was driving me crazy.

- Lionel, the only person

I want to give prescriptions

to, is you.

- Isn't this...?

- Yes, do not ruin it.

- Oh my God!

Oh my God, Lionel!

Lionel! Holy fuck! Holy fuck!

Oh God...

- Oh my God, what is happening?

What is that?

- Oh my God, Anne,

that's amazing!

(Anne and Lionel grunting,

laughing)

- I'm not a good mom.

- That's not true.

Everyone has their moments.

- You should take her.

- What?

to be a mom.

- I don't think I was supposed

It's not something I ever

dreamed about, or anything.

It just...

just sort of happened.

You should take her.

- So, I kinda got you somethin'.

- Oh my God,

are they baked goods?

Wait, chocolate eclairs?

No, linzers?

Are they linzers?

- Uh, it's a form of baking.

Just open it.

- Doesn't smell like a linzer.

Pregnancy test?

- They're ovulation tests.

You pee on a stick,

and if you get a smiley face,

then we know you're fertile,

ripe, and ready to go.

- Why would I wanna know that?

I only know when

I'm menstruating,

because I have to.

The rest of the cycle can

happen without my knowledge.

- Okay sure--

- But also, what happened to

not taking any action?

- They're just sticks.

I didn't adopt a kid.

- Who would that be?

Frankie: Ooh! Everybody decent?

Anne: Hi, Frank!

- Hey! Oh!

Frankie: Oh my God.

- Hi, Frankie. Um...

- I know, I'm sorry I'm early.

Oh, my goodness,

and it's dinner.

Please, do not get up,

I am just gonna go up to the...

- Love you.

- ...the guest bedroom and,

it's like we're not even here,

right?

But we are here!

Thanks, guys!

- We're not talking

about these things?

- I sent you an email.

- You said she was looking

for a place to stay,

you didn't tell me that you

offered her our guest room.

- Well, I thought it was sort

of implied, you know.

I'm sorry, I should've

been more specific.

- No, it's fine,

I mean, I like Frankie.

- Yeah.

- I just--

Kate: Oy.

- Oh, sorry. I didn't know you

guys were eating.

- I thought you'd left.

- What is... this?

- Hmm.

- Sorry, not to be rude,

but why is Rosie in my house?

- Hmm.

Nathan, um, I uh...

I may have uh, started...

a small, and soon-to-be

profitable business.

- Is it a hostel?