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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:06,000 --> 00:00:12,074 Advertise your product or brand here contact www.OpenSubtitles.org today 2 00:00:31,064 --> 00:00:34,299 MACKENZIE So, what can I tell you about Eve Wilde... 3 00:00:34,300 --> 00:00:35,768 that you don't already know? 4 00:00:35,769 --> 00:00:37,536 Well, for starters... 5 00:00:37,537 --> 00:00:39,705 she absolutely hates being called "Grandma"... 6 00:00:39,706 --> 00:00:41,807 or "Grandmother" or anything with "Grand" in it. 7 00:00:41,808 --> 00:00:45,144 So, she's just plain old Eve to both you and me. 8 00:00:45,145 --> 00:00:46,678 Oh. 9 00:00:46,679 --> 00:00:49,782 You probably do know she's been married before. 10 00:00:49,783 --> 00:00:53,585 But the only one you really need to pay attention to... 11 00:00:53,586 --> 00:00:57,089 is Laurence, Husband Number One and my personal favorite... 12 00:00:57,090 --> 00:00:59,258 because, he is technically my grandpa. 13 00:00:59,259 --> 00:01:00,626 But guess what? 14 00:01:00,627 --> 00:01:05,130 I can't call him that, either. Actors. 15 00:01:05,131 --> 00:01:07,199 Eve and Laurence met in New York... 16 00:01:07,200 --> 00:01:11,403 where Laurence was studying to be a famous actor. 17 00:01:11,404 --> 00:01:13,705 And Eve wanted to be an actress... 18 00:01:13,706 --> 00:01:17,376 but well, you know how that ol' chestnut goes. 19 00:01:17,377 --> 00:01:20,646 Life's what happens while you're busy making plans. 20 00:01:20,647 --> 00:01:24,283 Laurence got cast as the lead in this big comedy... 21 00:01:24,284 --> 00:01:25,818 and he got Eve a part in it, too... 22 00:01:25,819 --> 00:01:27,719 which was super-cool of him. 23 00:01:27,720 --> 00:01:30,222 But when the film came out, all of the reviews said... 24 00:01:30,223 --> 00:01:33,158 "Hello. A star is born". 25 00:01:33,159 --> 00:01:35,794 But, they weren't talking about Laurence. 26 00:01:35,795 --> 00:01:39,798 By the time Eve was one of the biggest stars in the world... 27 00:01:39,799 --> 00:01:41,600 she and Laurence were exchanging... 28 00:01:41,601 --> 00:01:43,702 humorous divorce gifts. 29 00:01:43,703 --> 00:01:46,605 A silver cowbell for Eve to wear around her neck... 30 00:01:46,606 --> 00:01:48,574 so Laurence would always know she was coming. 31 00:01:48,575 --> 00:01:50,476 A birdcage for Laurence... 32 00:01:50,477 --> 00:01:53,378 so that the next Mrs. Darling couldn't get away. 33 00:01:53,379 --> 00:01:55,114 I'd say Eve is on the whole... 34 00:01:55,115 --> 00:01:56,849 what you'd call a positive person. 35 00:01:56,850 --> 00:02:00,152 She says that her whole life has been one long fairytale... 36 00:02:00,153 --> 00:02:01,887 and everything. 37 00:02:01,888 --> 00:02:04,623 But I might just disagree with Eve here. 38 00:02:04,624 --> 00:02:08,260 I might say, in everything, except love... 39 00:02:08,261 --> 00:02:11,230 which frankly, if you knew the family... 40 00:02:11,231 --> 00:02:14,267 would be considered the family "hurdle." 41 00:02:15,468 --> 00:02:17,370 But all that was about to change. 42 00:02:20,607 --> 00:02:23,475 Like the lightning that precedes thunder... 43 00:02:23,476 --> 00:02:27,646 my eyes took in what my heart knew an instant later... 44 00:02:27,647 --> 00:02:30,415 that this was love. 45 00:02:30,416 --> 00:02:32,685 Love at first sight. 46 00:02:44,797 --> 00:02:47,533 MACKENZIE So I'm making a film for Eve of the weekend. 47 00:02:47,534 --> 00:02:48,867 It's my wedding gift. 48 00:02:48,868 --> 00:02:50,836 And from prior experience... 49 00:02:50,837 --> 00:02:53,639 I can say it'll have a little bit of all the genres... 50 00:02:53,640 --> 00:02:58,443 comedy, drama, musical, and of course documentary... 51 00:02:58,444 --> 00:02:59,912 which is my forte because... 52 00:02:59,913 --> 00:03:02,748 I like to think I ask the tough questions. 53 00:03:02,749 --> 00:03:04,650 I bet it was the Swedish nanny... 54 00:03:04,651 --> 00:03:06,185 who jumped you when you were like 16. 55 00:03:06,186 --> 00:03:07,619 Excuse me? 56 00:03:07,620 --> 00:03:10,255 Mom told me. She said that girl was totally your type. 57 00:03:10,256 --> 00:03:11,723 Bad girl. 58 00:03:11,724 --> 00:03:14,526 Oh my god. Mackenzie, that is so inappropriate. 59 00:03:14,527 --> 00:03:16,562 Come on, it was the Swedish nanny, right? 60 00:03:16,563 --> 00:03:20,232 Actually, my first love was... 61 00:03:20,233 --> 00:03:22,901 My first love... 62 00:03:22,902 --> 00:03:26,338 MACKENZIE Okay, so he's doing this whole drum-roll... 63 00:03:26,339 --> 00:03:29,408 thing because deep down, he wants to say it was my mom... 64 00:03:29,409 --> 00:03:32,778 but instead, he's just trying to think of something funny. 65 00:03:32,779 --> 00:03:35,747 That's my mom and dad in this band they had. 66 00:03:35,748 --> 00:03:38,717 Mom said there were a lot of guys... 67 00:03:38,718 --> 00:03:42,754 trying to get her attention, but she only had eyes for him. 68 00:03:42,755 --> 00:03:46,892 She said he wrote the most dreamy music. 69 00:03:46,893 --> 00:03:51,463 Thing is, he still does, just not for her. 70 00:03:51,464 --> 00:03:57,402 My first love was a crème brulée... 71 00:03:57,403 --> 00:03:59,905 that I had in the south of France when I was 12. 72 00:03:59,906 --> 00:04:02,341 You're so emotionally retarded, Dad. 73 00:04:02,342 --> 00:04:05,277 Thank you. All right, hang on. 74 00:04:05,278 --> 00:04:06,745 Hey, Jimmy. 75 00:04:06,746 --> 00:04:07,846 JIMMY I'm patchin' Ethan in. 76 00:04:07,847 --> 00:04:09,681 Okay. But I got everything... 77 00:04:09,682 --> 00:04:12,351 all of Harold's numbers, bank accounts, loans, debts... 78 00:04:12,352 --> 00:04:13,885 MACKENZIE My Uncle Jimmy has fallen in love... 79 00:04:13,886 --> 00:04:15,988 like a gazillion times. 80 00:04:15,989 --> 00:04:17,856 He says he's a romantic. 81 00:04:17,857 --> 00:04:19,658 - Look. - RORY Jimmy? 82 00:04:19,659 --> 00:04:21,660 MACKENZIE There he goes again. 83 00:04:21,661 --> 00:04:23,996 RORY Jimmy? Jimmy, you there? 84 00:04:23,997 --> 00:04:26,665 Sorry, what? Sorry, where was I? 85 00:04:26,666 --> 00:04:28,433 RORY Having your suspicions confirmed. 86 00:04:28,434 --> 00:04:31,536 Right, confirming my suspicion that people who write serious... 87 00:04:31,537 --> 00:04:34,806 novels have a relatively small pot to piss in. 88 00:04:34,807 --> 00:04:36,341 Which is why this fucking prenup is a whole... 89 00:04:36,342 --> 00:04:37,709 Dad! 90 00:04:37,710 --> 00:04:39,011 Hey, honey! Hi, Dad. 91 00:04:39,012 --> 00:04:41,046 Your bus was very late. 92 00:04:41,047 --> 00:04:43,982 Yeah, I know. I was on it. Dad, this is Pink. 93 00:04:43,983 --> 00:04:47,319 Pink? Hey, dude. 94 00:04:47,320 --> 00:04:50,022 She's coming with us for the weekend. 95 00:04:50,023 --> 00:04:52,457 Well, honey, it's kind of a special weekend... 96 00:04:52,458 --> 00:04:53,692 don't you think? 97 00:04:53,693 --> 00:04:54,993 Well, I brought a friend to her last wedding. 98 00:04:54,994 --> 00:04:56,528 But you were five. 99 00:04:56,529 --> 00:04:57,763 I brought a friend at your last wedding. 100 00:04:57,764 --> 00:04:59,665 Thanks, babe. 101 00:04:59,666 --> 00:05:01,733 Please, I finally erased that whole debacle from my memory. 102 00:05:01,734 --> 00:05:03,335 Where's the car? 103 00:05:03,336 --> 00:05:05,305 Right there. Come on. 104 00:05:06,339 --> 00:05:07,906 Hello? 105 00:05:07,907 --> 00:05:09,007 Where the hell's Ethan? 106 00:05:11,978 --> 00:05:13,979 MACKENZIE My Uncle Ethan says... 107 00:05:13,980 --> 00:05:16,382 he's never getting married. 108 00:05:18,451 --> 00:05:20,853 Oh! Fuck, my god! 109 00:05:23,423 --> 00:05:24,856 MACKENZIE He says, why would he... 110 00:05:24,857 --> 00:05:26,825 with all the interesting people... 111 00:05:26,826 --> 00:05:28,894 he meets on social media these days? 112 00:05:28,895 --> 00:05:30,930 Good boy, Yoyo. Good boy. 113 00:05:32,765 --> 00:05:36,835 Oh, hey, Guy. Yeah. You heard the new tracks? 114 00:05:36,836 --> 00:05:39,004 Okay, so I'm gonna have the number one album... 115 00:05:39,005 --> 00:05:41,506 if you pull your finger out of your ass. 116 00:05:41,507 --> 00:05:43,743 Do your job. I want arenas. 117 00:05:44,777 --> 00:05:47,446 Oh, honey, look, look. No. 118 00:05:47,447 --> 00:05:48,747 Mom, please! Yes, yes, yes. 119 00:05:48,748 --> 00:05:51,516 Hey, can you pull over? Yes, yes, right here. 120 00:05:51,517 --> 00:05:53,418 MACKENZIE The problem is that when... 121 00:05:53,419 --> 00:05:56,121 it comes to relationships, examples have to be set. 122 00:05:56,122 --> 00:05:58,724 But in my case, the adults setting them... 123 00:05:58,725 --> 00:06:02,895 are quite possibly the worst examples known to man. 124 00:06:05,598 --> 00:06:07,999 Mom, Mom, that slope near the boathouse... 125 00:06:08,000 --> 00:06:11,403 somebody's gonna go ass over backwards into a lawsuit. 126 00:06:11,404 --> 00:06:14,039 Well, it leads down to the lake. I don't want to board it up. 127 00:06:14,040 --> 00:06:16,007 Well, can we at least put up a couple of signs? 128 00:06:16,008 --> 00:06:20,011 Al, could you make up a couple of signs that say... 129 00:06:20,012 --> 00:06:21,513 "Beware of Steep Slope"? 130 00:06:21,514 --> 00:06:23,081 - A sign? - Hello. 131 00:06:23,082 --> 00:06:24,583 Yeah, a sign's gonna save us... Oh, you're here. 132 00:06:24,584 --> 00:06:25,884 A million dollars if someone falls... 133 00:06:25,885 --> 00:06:27,754 We're in here, Mom! Hi. 134 00:06:28,788 --> 00:06:30,522 Sam. 135 00:06:30,523 --> 00:06:32,057 Oh... Sam can't pass a vintage clothing store... 136 00:06:32,058 --> 00:06:33,525 without begging me to stop. 137 00:06:33,526 --> 00:06:34,806 Hello, darling. What's up, buddy? 138 00:06:36,896 --> 00:06:39,431 Oh, that's for you. Come sit down. 139 00:06:39,432 --> 00:06:40,999 You look beautiful. Thank you. 140 00:06:41,000 --> 00:06:42,601 Sam, just do what I do. 141 00:06:42,602 --> 00:06:44,436 I donate all the clothes Mom gives me. 142 00:06:44,437 --> 00:06:47,839 I think your mother has a charming fashion sense. 143 00:06:47,840 --> 00:06:48,940 So do I. 144 00:06:48,941 --> 00:06:50,842 This is lovely. Yeah. 145 00:06:50,843 --> 00:06:54,413 Sam! Tell me, how is your father? 146 00:06:54,414 --> 00:06:56,114 He's in Miami. 147 00:06:56,115 --> 00:06:58,583 Yeah. Sebastian and I broke up. 148 00:06:58,584 --> 00:06:59,851 Why? 149 00:06:59,852 --> 00:07:01,720 Well, you know, it was either that... 150 00:07:01,721 --> 00:07:02,888 or I was gonna strangle him. 151 00:07:02,889 --> 00:07:04,690 Sure, the go-to options. 152 00:07:06,058 --> 00:07:08,760 So, Eve. Mm-hm. 153 00:07:08,761 --> 00:07:11,497 MACKENZIE What can you tell us about your first love? 154 00:07:15,535 --> 00:07:17,502 Oh. 155 00:07:17,503 --> 00:07:22,474 There was a beautiful boy, Cosmo. 156 00:07:22,475 --> 00:07:25,143 He was the reason I joined the theater class... 157 00:07:25,144 --> 00:07:26,778 where I met Laurence. 158 00:07:26,779 --> 00:07:29,815 Of course, Cosmo wasn't interested in girls. 159 00:07:29,816 --> 00:07:34,219 Yeah, duh. Of course, his name is "Cosmo." 160 00:07:34,220 --> 00:07:38,824 All right, so what, your first love was Laurence? 161 00:07:38,825 --> 00:07:42,160 I remember the first time Laurence and I rehearsed. 162 00:07:42,161 --> 00:07:48,967 He looked at me with that smoldering stare that he has. 163 00:07:48,968 --> 00:07:51,671 I mean, you know, you know the one. 164 00:07:52,738 --> 00:07:54,573 I know it well. 165 00:07:54,574 --> 00:07:59,544 And it was, "Goodbye Cosmo..." "Hello Laurence." 166 00:08:07,520 --> 00:08:09,988 ♪ It's scratchy songs that earn you fame ♪ 167 00:08:09,989 --> 00:08:13,258 EVE Now of course, Laurence has had the career... 168 00:08:13,259 --> 00:08:16,728 every actor would dream of having... 169 00:08:16,729 --> 00:08:19,764 unless of course, you're Laurence Darling. 170 00:08:19,765 --> 00:08:24,269 He's recognized as a great actor. 171 00:08:24,270 --> 00:08:28,607 I'm just a simple movie star. 172 00:08:28,608 --> 00:08:32,678 And he could find that very annoying. 173 00:08:41,554 --> 00:08:44,557 Morning. 174 00:09:07,914 --> 00:09:10,615 Boys, boys, boys. Dad! 175 00:09:10,616 --> 00:09:14,119 It's so good to see you. Why isn't it more often? 176 00:09:14,120 --> 00:09:16,154 Probably 'cause you never return any of our calls. 177 00:09:16,155 --> 00:09:17,622 Dad, Dad, Dad. 178 00:09:17,623 --> 00:09:19,891 It was a rhetorical question, James. 179 00:09:19,892 --> 00:09:22,794 We all have such busy lives now. 180 00:09:22,795 --> 00:09:24,563 Laurence. 181 00:09:24,564 --> 00:09:27,098 The Lady Eve. How are you? 182 00:09:27,099 --> 00:09:29,135 I am grand. 183 00:09:30,736 --> 00:09:34,205 I have come to see you off again. 184 00:09:34,206 --> 00:09:36,875 Maybe we'll get it right this time. 185 00:09:36,876 --> 00:09:38,843 That's why I'm here, to make sure that... 186 00:09:38,844 --> 00:09:40,712 this one is a keeper. 187 00:09:40,713 --> 00:09:42,247 You are so thoughtful... 188 00:09:42,248 --> 00:09:44,983 as if you'd have any idea what a keeper was. 189 00:09:44,984 --> 00:09:46,751 Laurence! 190 00:09:46,752 --> 00:09:50,055 I'm sensing a theme here. 191 00:09:50,056 --> 00:09:52,791 Are all the exes invited? 192 00:09:52,792 --> 00:09:54,726 Just the ones Mom likes. 193 00:09:54,727 --> 00:09:56,061 And they're still alive. 194 00:09:56,062 --> 00:09:59,164 Well, I'm glad I still qualify. 195 00:09:59,165 --> 00:10:01,366 Has the great man arrived? 196 00:10:01,367 --> 00:10:06,237 Not yet. His sense of timing's even better than yours. 197 00:10:06,238 --> 00:10:08,774 Upstaged again? 198 00:10:14,313 --> 00:10:16,982 Bad girls? 199 00:10:16,983 --> 00:10:19,851 Right. Bad Girls, Bad Girls... 200 00:10:19,852 --> 00:10:22,754 Dad, come on. It was one of her biggest hits. 201 00:10:22,755 --> 00:10:24,322 Oh yeah, got it. 202 00:10:24,323 --> 00:10:28,893 Eve steals into a prison... An Indonesian prison... 203 00:10:28,894 --> 00:10:31,296 to save her daughter, who's wrongly accused of murder. 204 00:10:31,297 --> 00:10:33,865 Okay, and, it ends? 205 00:10:33,866 --> 00:10:35,167 Oh, fuck... 206 00:10:36,335 --> 00:10:40,672 Hang on, just a minute. Oh. Yes. 207 00:10:40,673 --> 00:10:44,242 It turns out, the daughter actually did it... 208 00:10:44,243 --> 00:10:46,311 but Eve takes her place on the scaffold anyway. 209 00:10:46,312 --> 00:10:48,713 Actually, it's a rip-off of Tale of Two Cities. 210 00:10:48,714 --> 00:10:50,348 Dad, I think it's very romantic... 211 00:10:50,349 --> 00:10:53,051 that you're going to all this effort. 212 00:10:53,052 --> 00:10:54,719 Thank you, Clemmie. 213 00:10:54,720 --> 00:10:58,858 Romantic? He's an absolute bloody miracle. 214 00:11:10,136 --> 00:11:13,705 ♪ You're an angel from up above ♪ 215 00:11:13,706 --> 00:11:16,107 ♪ Send down to give me love ♪ 216 00:11:16,108 --> 00:11:17,777 Dad? 217 00:11:19,712 --> 00:11:21,247 Dad. 218 00:11:22,381 --> 00:11:24,016 I'm sorry. 219 00:11:37,396 --> 00:11:39,065 It's a big day here. 220 00:11:40,766 --> 00:11:43,268 Waiting for Harold. It's a very good day. 221 00:11:43,269 --> 00:11:45,470 Harold, man. Oh. 222 00:11:45,471 --> 00:11:47,939 Mum. Mummy. 223 00:11:47,940 --> 00:11:49,274 Hey, hey, hey. 224 00:11:49,275 --> 00:11:52,110 Here they come. Here they come. 225 00:11:52,111 --> 00:11:53,378 Oh, he's goin' around the wrong way. 226 00:11:56,449 --> 00:11:59,751 All right, everyone, behave, behave. 227 00:11:59,752 --> 00:12:01,720 Our new family. 228 00:12:01,721 --> 00:12:02,988 Four. 229 00:12:03,989 --> 00:12:07,326 Welcome! Welcome! 230 00:12:08,828 --> 00:12:10,996 And there's number five. 231 00:12:13,065 --> 00:12:15,433 Oh. Right! 232 00:12:15,434 --> 00:12:17,235 This is my daughter, Clemmie. 233 00:12:17,236 --> 00:12:18,937 Hello, Clemmie... Hi. 234 00:12:18,938 --> 00:12:20,405 I've heard so much about you. Lovely to meet you. 235 00:12:20,406 --> 00:12:21,406 My daughter, Rose. Hi. 236 00:12:21,407 --> 00:12:23,441 Rose, yes. 237 00:12:23,442 --> 00:12:27,212 And this is Rose's friend, and almost third daughter... 238 00:12:27,213 --> 00:12:29,814 Saffron. Hello. 239 00:12:29,815 --> 00:12:31,182 Come meet my family. Yeah. 240 00:12:31,183 --> 00:12:32,817 There's Jimmy, my oldest. Hey, Jimmy. 241 00:12:32,818 --> 00:12:33,918 James. James. 242 00:12:33,919 --> 00:12:35,019 And then Rory. How are ya? 243 00:12:35,020 --> 00:12:36,187 Hi, Rory. Ethan. 244 00:12:36,188 --> 00:12:37,388 Yeah, Ethan. 245 00:12:37,389 --> 00:12:39,023 Back there with the camera is Mackenzie. 246 00:12:39,024 --> 00:12:40,391 Hi, Mackenzie. Whose mother is Priscilla... 247 00:12:40,392 --> 00:12:41,993 who was married to Rory. Priscilla. 248 00:12:41,994 --> 00:12:44,996 And here's Sam. 249 00:12:44,997 --> 00:12:48,500 You are doing...? Hi. 250 00:12:48,501 --> 00:12:50,101 My daughter, Mackenzie. 251 00:12:50,102 --> 00:12:51,836 We got Lara. Hi, Mackenzie. 252 00:12:51,837 --> 00:12:54,372 Hi, Mackenzie. Nice to see you. Hi. 253 00:12:54,373 --> 00:12:57,509 My nephew, Dylan, my brother's son... 254 00:12:57,510 --> 00:12:59,477 who sadly couldn't be here. 255 00:12:59,478 --> 00:13:01,012 And. You're who? 256 00:13:01,013 --> 00:13:02,213 Dylan. Dylan, hi. 257 00:13:02,214 --> 00:13:06,017 And, Laurence, the father of my sons. 258 00:13:06,018 --> 00:13:08,553 And Husband Number One, what a great pleasure. 259 00:13:08,554 --> 00:13:10,221 I am a big fan. 260 00:13:10,222 --> 00:13:12,791 The pleasure is all mine. I'm a bigger fan. 261 00:13:14,126 --> 00:13:15,794 So you guys are in here. 262 00:13:15,795 --> 00:13:17,395 Oh, thank you very much. 263 00:13:17,396 --> 00:13:19,097 MACKENZIE According to Wikipedia... 264 00:13:19,098 --> 00:13:22,033 "Harold Alcott writes novels about love... 265 00:13:22,034 --> 00:13:24,469 "that are tragically comedic." 266 00:13:24,470 --> 00:13:28,239 Which means, he's gonna fit right in with this family. 267 00:13:28,240 --> 00:13:29,407 I missed you. 268 00:13:29,408 --> 00:13:31,075 Well, that's your fault. 269 00:13:31,076 --> 00:13:32,377 It's because you have so many books to pack. 270 00:13:32,378 --> 00:13:34,012 Well, I'm a writer. 271 00:13:34,013 --> 00:13:35,847 Just as long as you have that book... 272 00:13:35,848 --> 00:13:37,315 with the pictures that we like. 273 00:13:37,316 --> 00:13:39,017 Oh... 274 00:13:39,018 --> 00:13:42,987 the Pompeian Bathhouses, yeah, those saucy Romans. 275 00:13:42,988 --> 00:13:45,324 I brought it in my hand luggage. Mm. 276 00:13:47,226 --> 00:13:50,563 Get out. Stop it... 277 00:13:52,832 --> 00:13:55,233 Oh. 278 00:13:55,234 --> 00:13:58,236 Did the cat get the cream? 279 00:13:58,237 --> 00:13:59,571 What cream? 280 00:13:59,572 --> 00:14:00,972 Silver Fox. 281 00:14:00,973 --> 00:14:02,607 Major hottie... for an old guy. 282 00:14:02,608 --> 00:14:05,476 Oh, you know, hang on here, you guys. 283 00:14:05,477 --> 00:14:08,546 You make me sound so... So superficial... 284 00:14:08,547 --> 00:14:12,250 like it's all about his granted good looks, and not about his... 285 00:14:12,251 --> 00:14:14,920 big whoopee-doo-doo. 286 00:14:16,956 --> 00:14:19,123 Do I really have to hear this? 287 00:14:19,124 --> 00:14:20,892 Did I wanna hear about you and Priscilla... 288 00:14:20,893 --> 00:14:22,227 and the best sex of all time? 289 00:14:22,228 --> 00:14:23,394 Hey, hey, hey! 290 00:14:23,395 --> 00:14:25,296 I never said that. 291 00:14:25,297 --> 00:14:26,931 Really? Really? 292 00:14:26,932 --> 00:14:29,868 Do not repeat that to Mackenzie. Do not! 293 00:14:29,869 --> 00:14:31,936 It wasn't the greatest sex of my life... 294 00:14:31,937 --> 00:14:34,472 it was the greatest sex of his. 295 00:14:34,473 --> 00:14:36,375 Seriously? 296 00:14:41,614 --> 00:14:43,315 Hello? 297 00:14:44,483 --> 00:14:46,150 Hello? Hi, yes. 298 00:14:46,151 --> 00:14:49,153 I'm trying to track down an employee of yours. 299 00:14:49,154 --> 00:14:53,424 She drove the Montauk bus yesterday that arrived at 11:45. 300 00:14:53,425 --> 00:14:55,326 Actually, I say it arrived at 11:45... 301 00:14:55,327 --> 00:14:58,029 but in point-in-fact, it was very, very late. 302 00:14:58,030 --> 00:15:02,066 Why do I wish to contact her? Is that any business of yours? 303 00:15:02,067 --> 00:15:05,604 I mean, I could be an estate attorney. 304 00:15:09,174 --> 00:15:11,676 So, what does marriage mean to you? 305 00:15:11,677 --> 00:15:14,345 What's your experience with that? 306 00:15:15,614 --> 00:15:20,184 Uh... well... 307 00:15:20,185 --> 00:15:23,288 my parents fighting... people getting divorced. 308 00:15:23,289 --> 00:15:25,223 Whoa, okay. 309 00:15:25,224 --> 00:15:28,961 You're being a little bit of a Debbie Downer here. All right? 310 00:15:33,032 --> 00:15:36,167 What about first love? 311 00:15:36,168 --> 00:15:39,203 What's your experience with that? 312 00:15:39,204 --> 00:15:41,040 First love? 313 00:15:43,208 --> 00:15:45,043 Let me give that some thought. 314 00:15:45,044 --> 00:15:47,612 Dylan! Dylan, I'm still filming! 315 00:15:52,217 --> 00:15:53,985 Dylan. 316 00:15:53,986 --> 00:15:56,354 Girls, you know that crazy, warm sensation you get... 317 00:15:56,355 --> 00:15:59,590 when you cross your legs and squeeze really tight? 318 00:15:59,591 --> 00:16:01,192 Well, the first time I had that... 319 00:16:01,193 --> 00:16:04,963 the weirdo in me was thinking about Dylan. 320 00:16:04,964 --> 00:16:07,365 But, what would, of course, get tongues wagging... 321 00:16:07,366 --> 00:16:12,971 around these parts is that, Dylan and I are... 322 00:16:12,972 --> 00:16:15,273 technically first cousins. 323 00:16:15,274 --> 00:16:17,141 But first cousins once-removed. 324 00:16:17,142 --> 00:16:20,244 So, there's like a 3% chance our kids would have like... 325 00:16:20,245 --> 00:16:22,046 15 fingers and three eyes. 326 00:16:26,719 --> 00:16:30,555 Okay, the first love question was a bit leading... 327 00:16:30,556 --> 00:16:33,224 as Dylan and I have already kissed. 328 00:16:33,225 --> 00:16:37,663 But, it was last summer and I haven't even seen him since. 329 00:16:39,264 --> 00:16:42,301 Anyway, it raises that age-old question. 330 00:16:43,635 --> 00:16:47,005 You know, can you ever go back? 331 00:16:47,006 --> 00:16:48,639 That's exactly what I was thinking. 332 00:16:48,640 --> 00:16:50,675 Though, I think maybe a couple more here... 333 00:16:50,676 --> 00:16:52,343 possibly another hydrangea? 334 00:16:52,344 --> 00:16:54,413 I think that'd be very nice. 335 00:16:56,415 --> 00:16:59,484 The last thing I would call either of us is selfish. 336 00:16:59,485 --> 00:17:02,754 In fact, the term "generous to a fault" springs to mind. 337 00:17:02,755 --> 00:17:06,624 But in this instance, I suggest we put it to the vote... 338 00:17:06,625 --> 00:17:10,461 to keep our one solitary decanter of liquid nectar... 339 00:17:10,462 --> 00:17:13,798 a secret from the "vin ordinaire" drinkers... 340 00:17:13,799 --> 00:17:18,269 and rendezvous back here après le diner. 341 00:17:18,270 --> 00:17:21,072 I second that motion and say, "Aye." 342 00:17:21,073 --> 00:17:22,640 "Aye." 343 00:17:22,641 --> 00:17:25,210 Harold and I will meet you back here. 344 00:17:27,646 --> 00:17:30,381 Yes, Harold. 345 00:17:30,382 --> 00:17:32,650 He's a fine wine man, is he? 346 00:17:48,801 --> 00:17:53,372 ♪ Money pay me om om ♪ 347 00:18:00,212 --> 00:18:03,848 ♪ Om om ♪ 348 00:18:03,849 --> 00:18:09,487 ♪ Money pay me om om ♪ 349 00:18:13,859 --> 00:18:17,261 ♪ I don't wanna fuckin' talk to you asshole ♪ 350 00:18:17,262 --> 00:18:21,867 ♪ Fuck you om om ♪ 351 00:18:40,185 --> 00:18:41,286 Hey. 352 00:18:42,387 --> 00:18:43,655 Hey. 353 00:19:19,358 --> 00:19:21,492 Ciao. 354 00:19:21,493 --> 00:19:23,528 Sorry, Grandma. 355 00:19:23,529 --> 00:19:25,463 MACKENZIE It will probably surprise you... 356 00:19:25,464 --> 00:19:27,598 to learn that Ethan speaks five languages... 357 00:19:27,599 --> 00:19:29,300 Portuguese among them. 358 00:19:29,301 --> 00:19:31,435 So, he understood every word... 359 00:19:31,436 --> 00:19:34,272 of Saffron's phone call to her quote "Grandma"... 360 00:19:34,273 --> 00:19:36,941 and explains the grin she was referring to. 361 00:19:36,942 --> 00:19:38,676 How 'bout we go on a little ride? 362 00:19:38,677 --> 00:19:41,746 I got some delicious magic mushroom chocolates. 363 00:19:41,747 --> 00:19:43,181 You up for it? 364 00:19:43,182 --> 00:19:45,584 Mm, very naughty. 365 00:19:53,759 --> 00:19:55,327 Half will get ya really high, easy. 366 00:19:58,497 --> 00:20:00,232 Here. Mm. 367 00:20:05,237 --> 00:20:06,338 Ah! 368 00:20:14,513 --> 00:20:15,581 Whoo! 369 00:20:40,305 --> 00:20:41,973 To you. 370 00:20:41,974 --> 00:20:43,609 Cheers. 371 00:20:50,449 --> 00:20:53,852 Mm... ah. 372 00:20:56,622 --> 00:21:00,558 So, how's it going with the young actress? 373 00:21:00,559 --> 00:21:04,428 Young is a relative term, she's 36. 374 00:21:04,429 --> 00:21:07,665 She went back to her boyfriend, at my suggestion, of course. 375 00:21:07,666 --> 00:21:10,568 They're getting married. Must be catching. 376 00:21:10,569 --> 00:21:12,938 I'll probably be at that wedding, as well. 377 00:21:16,041 --> 00:21:18,310 Ah, so that leaves a position to be filled. 378 00:21:19,544 --> 00:21:21,313 Hm. 379 00:21:22,547 --> 00:21:24,448 Already filled. 380 00:21:24,449 --> 00:21:29,587 So, tell me, am I giving you away for good this time? 381 00:21:29,588 --> 00:21:31,956 Harold is an extraordinary man. 382 00:21:31,957 --> 00:21:35,860 That he is, but will he understand your way of thinking? 383 00:21:35,861 --> 00:21:38,296 I don't think that way anymore. 384 00:21:38,297 --> 00:21:42,900 Fame, success, the flattery... 385 00:21:42,901 --> 00:21:44,468 I'll leave it all to you. 386 00:21:44,469 --> 00:21:47,605 Thank you. I'll take it. 387 00:21:47,606 --> 00:21:49,608 That's very generous of you. 388 00:21:53,045 --> 00:21:54,945 Eve didn't tell you I was coming, huh? 389 00:21:54,946 --> 00:21:56,847 Oh, I wonder why. 390 00:21:56,848 --> 00:21:59,550 Well, maybe she thought you'd have a problem with it. 391 00:21:59,551 --> 00:22:00,685 Oh, hey! What's up, guys? 392 00:22:00,686 --> 00:22:02,920 Hey. Wear less! 393 00:22:02,921 --> 00:22:05,056 Okay, that happened. 394 00:22:05,057 --> 00:22:06,657 Look. 395 00:22:06,658 --> 00:22:08,826 A rock 'n roll tour is not a place... 396 00:22:08,827 --> 00:22:10,795 for a 16 year old girl, come on. 397 00:22:10,796 --> 00:22:11,929 Well, why don't you come? 398 00:22:11,930 --> 00:22:13,397 Oh, sure. 399 00:22:13,398 --> 00:22:15,900 What, now that Sebastian is no longer needed? 400 00:22:15,901 --> 00:22:17,001 Sure. 401 00:22:17,002 --> 00:22:18,602 Oh, honey. What? 402 00:22:18,603 --> 00:22:21,605 I think I'd rather be dead. Shit. 403 00:22:21,606 --> 00:22:23,642 Okay, good night. Okay, good night. 404 00:23:09,988 --> 00:23:12,890 All right, now who's shaggable? 405 00:23:12,891 --> 00:23:17,128 I don't know, I can't decide between the... 406 00:23:17,129 --> 00:23:19,531 beautiful 17 year old boy... 407 00:23:22,667 --> 00:23:26,470 Saff! Or, the naughty 30-something year old... 408 00:23:26,471 --> 00:23:28,473 that you were tarting around with last night. 409 00:23:29,708 --> 00:23:32,076 He's much more up your alley. 410 00:23:32,077 --> 00:23:33,111 Right. He's all yours. 411 00:23:34,179 --> 00:23:35,880 How 'bout you, Clem? 412 00:23:35,881 --> 00:23:39,850 Why would I tell you, Tweedleslap and Tweedleslapper? 413 00:23:39,851 --> 00:23:42,120 Oh my god! Come on, Clem! 414 00:23:46,024 --> 00:23:47,425 Dad. 415 00:23:47,426 --> 00:23:48,893 Yeah? 416 00:23:48,894 --> 00:23:52,730 Eve's one and only Golden Globe was for, A... 417 00:23:52,731 --> 00:23:57,135 Loves of a Blonde, or B, Blonde Love? 418 00:23:58,670 --> 00:24:01,172 Uh, Loves of a Blonde. 419 00:24:01,173 --> 00:24:06,043 Wrong. It was actually for Blind Lover. 420 00:24:06,044 --> 00:24:09,114 That's a trick question. That's not fair. 421 00:24:13,018 --> 00:24:14,685 An early wedding present. 422 00:24:14,686 --> 00:24:15,953 What is it? 423 00:24:15,954 --> 00:24:17,721 I got sent this the other day... 424 00:24:17,722 --> 00:24:20,024 and they want the two of us to be in it playing mother and son. 425 00:24:20,025 --> 00:24:22,526 Oh, that's imaginative casting. 426 00:24:22,527 --> 00:24:23,727 It's actually a really good script. 427 00:24:23,728 --> 00:24:25,496 You should think about doing it. 428 00:24:25,497 --> 00:24:27,031 I'm in a wheelchair, you end up in a wheelchair. 429 00:24:27,032 --> 00:24:29,533 Last scene is the two of us dancing in wheelchairs. 430 00:24:29,534 --> 00:24:30,968 Lot of crying scenes. 431 00:24:30,969 --> 00:24:33,537 Really? I'm retired. You do it. 432 00:24:33,538 --> 00:24:36,740 It's a both-or-nothing deal. Oh. 433 00:24:36,741 --> 00:24:39,143 Will you at least read it? Oh, honey. 434 00:24:39,144 --> 00:24:42,546 Come on, on your honeymoon. Gotta get out of bed sometime. 435 00:24:42,547 --> 00:24:44,114 Bow-chicka-wawa. Oh, that is so bad. 436 00:24:44,115 --> 00:24:46,050 You are my son! 437 00:24:46,051 --> 00:24:48,018 Where're you guys going? Venice. 438 00:24:48,019 --> 00:24:49,153 That's original. 439 00:24:49,154 --> 00:24:50,788 Well, it was Harold's idea. 440 00:24:50,789 --> 00:24:53,524 I didn't wanna start off as a difficult wife. 441 00:24:53,525 --> 00:24:54,960 Then don't be a difficult mother. 442 00:25:02,067 --> 00:25:05,203 Okay. Eve and Harold's wedding song, take one. 443 00:25:23,054 --> 00:25:26,724 ♪ Bet the house bet the farm Fourth time is a charm ♪ 444 00:25:26,725 --> 00:25:30,127 ♪ It's amazing what a book tour can do ♪ 445 00:25:30,128 --> 00:25:33,797 ♪ He's tall debonair And he's still got his hair ♪ 446 00:25:33,798 --> 00:25:37,167 ♪ Coolest couple in Vanity Fair ♪ 447 00:25:37,168 --> 00:25:39,770 ♪ Six weeks is all it took ♪ 448 00:25:39,771 --> 00:25:43,741 ♪ Two books and the sales are strong ♪ 449 00:25:43,742 --> 00:25:46,277 ♪ You know you can never go wrong ♪ 450 00:25:46,278 --> 00:25:49,780 ♪ When love comes along You never go wrong ♪ 451 00:25:49,781 --> 00:25:55,085 ♪ When love comes along ♪ 452 00:25:55,086 --> 00:26:01,259 ♪ You never go wrong When love comes along ♪ 453 00:26:04,829 --> 00:26:09,601 ♪ You never go wrong When love comes along ♪ 454 00:26:22,180 --> 00:26:24,682 I think it's very adult of you to be this civilized. 455 00:26:24,683 --> 00:26:26,116 I mean, not everyone... 456 00:26:26,117 --> 00:26:28,752 would have their ex-husband at their wedding. 457 00:26:28,753 --> 00:26:30,321 My mum would turn into The Exorcist... 458 00:26:30,322 --> 00:26:32,022 if Dad showed up at her wedding. 459 00:26:32,023 --> 00:26:33,724 Oh, god. 460 00:26:33,725 --> 00:26:36,760 Projectile green vomit. Head 360. The whole thing. 461 00:26:36,761 --> 00:26:38,862 She still really hates him. 462 00:26:38,863 --> 00:26:40,965 Dare one ask why? 463 00:26:40,966 --> 00:26:44,868 Oh, well, as Dorothy Parker once said... 464 00:26:44,869 --> 00:26:47,338 "Hogamous, Higamous, Man is polygamous..." 465 00:26:47,339 --> 00:26:49,941 "Higamous, Hogamous, Woman is monogamous." 466 00:26:53,345 --> 00:26:55,879 I doubt Dorothy Parker actually said that. 467 00:26:55,880 --> 00:26:58,215 Yes, it has a man's fingerprints all over it. 468 00:26:58,216 --> 00:27:01,352 Yes, it sounds suspiciously self-serving. 469 00:27:01,353 --> 00:27:03,320 You know, if it helps explain anything, Rose... 470 00:27:03,321 --> 00:27:07,124 Mom and Dad here were like the poster couple for divorce. 471 00:27:07,125 --> 00:27:09,159 Yeah, they gave each other divorce gifts. 472 00:27:09,160 --> 00:27:11,228 Really? What? 473 00:27:11,229 --> 00:27:12,730 Oh, I've forgotten. 474 00:27:12,731 --> 00:27:14,331 Me, too. 475 00:27:14,332 --> 00:27:16,700 Actually, one time, Mom took the three of us out of the country.. 476 00:27:16,701 --> 00:27:19,036 For a vacation and she didn't get Dad's permission. 477 00:27:19,037 --> 00:27:21,805 Dad waited patiently until we got back, and then... 478 00:27:21,806 --> 00:27:24,942 had Mom arrested at the airport and put in prison for the night. 479 00:27:24,943 --> 00:27:26,276 What a guy. 480 00:27:26,277 --> 00:27:28,112 Character-building. 481 00:27:28,113 --> 00:27:29,847 And when Dad came back after having been away working... 482 00:27:29,848 --> 00:27:31,315 for three months... 483 00:27:31,316 --> 00:27:33,717 he found that Mom had completely redecorated the suite... 484 00:27:33,718 --> 00:27:34,985 and put it on the bill. 485 00:27:34,986 --> 00:27:37,355 Yes, it was much more cheerful. 486 00:27:56,274 --> 00:27:57,342 Hello, there! 487 00:28:03,748 --> 00:28:05,683 Hey! Ole! 488 00:28:05,684 --> 00:28:07,251 My best man! 489 00:28:16,861 --> 00:28:19,329 I just think we have to make at least one attempt... 490 00:28:19,330 --> 00:28:22,299 to get Mom to do a prenup. 491 00:28:22,300 --> 00:28:25,302 I don't know. She's done quite well for herself, so far. 492 00:28:25,303 --> 00:28:28,972 Yeah, but so far, all of her husbands have had money. 493 00:28:28,973 --> 00:28:30,274 Except for you. 494 00:28:30,275 --> 00:28:31,843 'Course. Yeah. 495 00:28:43,221 --> 00:28:46,256 So what does true love mean to you, Mother? 496 00:28:46,257 --> 00:28:48,258 True love? 497 00:28:48,259 --> 00:28:50,327 Um... 498 00:28:50,328 --> 00:28:55,833 Well, you know, if at first you don't succeed, try, try again. 499 00:28:55,834 --> 00:28:58,302 Which is what I keep saying about those songs, Mom. 500 00:28:58,303 --> 00:29:01,004 - What songs? - Your new ones. 501 00:29:01,005 --> 00:29:02,840 What do you know, anyway? 502 00:29:02,841 --> 00:29:05,009 You sing along with Les Mis. 503 00:29:07,345 --> 00:29:12,350 Mommy is a rock goddess. Mommy is a rock goddess. 504 00:29:18,389 --> 00:29:21,959 A couple of my novels that were turned into films... 505 00:29:21,960 --> 00:29:25,896 sent me to bed with a bottle of scotch. 506 00:29:25,897 --> 00:29:29,967 Oh, well, that's where the films I'm usually in these days... 507 00:29:29,968 --> 00:29:31,769 always send me. 508 00:29:31,770 --> 00:29:34,104 And why I'm in graceful retirement. 509 00:29:34,105 --> 00:29:37,241 Yeah. But that is such a pity, Eve. 510 00:29:37,242 --> 00:29:39,276 You played some great roles. 511 00:29:39,277 --> 00:29:41,044 Has she... she has. 512 00:29:41,045 --> 00:29:42,947 Harold has seen all my work. 513 00:29:45,316 --> 00:29:47,818 You've seen all of Eve's films? 514 00:29:47,819 --> 00:29:48,952 Yeah. 515 00:29:48,953 --> 00:29:50,387 Seriously? 516 00:29:50,388 --> 00:29:53,423 Uh, well you know, nearly all. 517 00:29:53,424 --> 00:29:58,029 And which performance do you treasure the most? 518 00:30:00,231 --> 00:30:03,400 Well, I'd have to say... 519 00:30:03,401 --> 00:30:06,003 it was the first time I saw you on screen. 520 00:30:06,004 --> 00:30:09,439 You were playing a waitress in a diner... 521 00:30:09,440 --> 00:30:11,575 who kept getting the orders wrong. 522 00:30:11,576 --> 00:30:15,479 And you nearly killed this poor guy who had a nut allergy. 523 00:30:15,480 --> 00:30:18,048 It was hilarious. 524 00:30:18,049 --> 00:30:22,019 Available Man. Laurence got me that part. 525 00:30:22,020 --> 00:30:27,958 Yes, I also played the guy with the nut allergy. 526 00:30:27,959 --> 00:30:30,494 Though, that wasn't Eve's first leading role... 527 00:30:30,495 --> 00:30:33,897 it was meant to be, anyways, supporting. 528 00:30:33,898 --> 00:30:35,866 Well obviously, yes. 529 00:30:35,867 --> 00:30:40,505 Um, in a leading role, I would have to say... 530 00:30:43,041 --> 00:30:46,176 Bad Girls was very moving. 531 00:30:46,177 --> 00:30:52,116 Hm... hm... hm. 532 00:30:54,619 --> 00:30:56,153 Mm. 533 00:30:56,154 --> 00:30:57,554 Look, it doesn't have to be perfect. 534 00:30:57,555 --> 00:30:59,223 Just, can you get a prenup here by tomorrow? 535 00:30:59,224 --> 00:31:02,259 Dance party! 536 00:31:02,260 --> 00:31:03,927 Here we go. 537 00:31:03,928 --> 00:31:05,396 Taking us down the road. Let's do it. 538 00:31:11,202 --> 00:31:13,371 Step, and down. 539 00:31:18,042 --> 00:31:19,210 Okay. 540 00:31:20,979 --> 00:31:23,013 Step, step, clap, clap. 541 00:31:23,014 --> 00:31:24,515 Work it, girl. Work it! 542 00:31:26,517 --> 00:31:28,151 Here we go. Here we go. 543 00:31:28,152 --> 00:31:30,587 Oh, come on. You can get this! H'yah! Fuck off! 544 00:31:30,588 --> 00:31:32,590 These are our tarts! Get outta here. 545 00:31:35,093 --> 00:31:36,394 Okay. Again. 546 00:31:41,366 --> 00:31:44,167 Do you really think he's seen all your films? 547 00:31:44,168 --> 00:31:45,969 Of course not... 548 00:31:45,970 --> 00:31:48,472 but I think it's sweet that he pretends he has. 549 00:31:48,473 --> 00:31:50,107 And you never miss it? 550 00:31:50,108 --> 00:31:51,910 Oh, god, no. 551 00:31:54,412 --> 00:31:57,281 We always did it for different reasons. 552 00:31:57,282 --> 00:31:59,049 We did? 553 00:31:59,050 --> 00:32:01,118 Yeah. You did it... 554 00:32:01,119 --> 00:32:03,353 well, you still do it for the work... 555 00:32:03,354 --> 00:32:05,122 for the challenge of the work... 556 00:32:05,123 --> 00:32:08,358 for the absences the work affords. 557 00:32:08,359 --> 00:32:10,594 I always thought of the family as integral to my work... 558 00:32:10,595 --> 00:32:13,130 and you thought of it as detrimental to your work. 559 00:32:13,131 --> 00:32:14,531 Did I? 560 00:32:14,532 --> 00:32:16,600 Well speaking about mixing family and work... 561 00:32:16,601 --> 00:32:19,703 Ethan has this movie he wants me to act in with him. 562 00:32:19,704 --> 00:32:22,439 Good part? 563 00:32:22,440 --> 00:32:24,676 A mother in a wheelchair, apparently. 564 00:32:27,145 --> 00:32:31,148 Do you think it could be changed to a father in a wheelchair? 565 00:32:31,149 --> 00:32:35,485 Possible Oscar bait. "He walks away with it." 566 00:32:35,486 --> 00:32:40,724 "I'm supporting." 567 00:32:40,725 --> 00:32:45,730 "We start out supporting and we end up supporting." 568 00:33:12,323 --> 00:33:14,759 Hi. Hola. 569 00:33:18,629 --> 00:33:20,530 My sister wants to know where Harry Potter is. 570 00:33:20,531 --> 00:33:22,033 Who? 571 00:33:23,735 --> 00:33:25,635 That's Dylan. 572 00:33:25,636 --> 00:33:28,305 He's your boyfriend? 573 00:33:28,306 --> 00:33:30,241 He's my cousin. 574 00:33:36,547 --> 00:33:38,281 My sister says, "Oh, good." 575 00:33:38,282 --> 00:33:39,350 Good? 576 00:33:42,020 --> 00:33:44,354 Um, he's actually my first cousin... 577 00:33:44,355 --> 00:33:46,357 He's my first cousin once removed. 578 00:34:05,176 --> 00:34:07,611 Hola. Hi. 579 00:34:07,612 --> 00:34:09,146 Como estas? 580 00:34:09,147 --> 00:34:10,313 Uh, I'm good. 581 00:34:10,314 --> 00:34:11,716 So, how old are you? 582 00:34:17,388 --> 00:34:19,489 Okay. 583 00:34:25,596 --> 00:34:27,264 Do you need some help? 584 00:34:27,265 --> 00:34:29,566 Sure. 585 00:34:29,567 --> 00:34:31,701 But first, I have to confess something. 586 00:34:31,702 --> 00:34:34,171 Okay. 587 00:34:34,172 --> 00:34:36,139 I had my first serious snog to... 588 00:34:36,140 --> 00:34:38,508 Up All Night In The Diner With Julie. 589 00:34:38,509 --> 00:34:39,743 "Snog." 590 00:34:39,744 --> 00:34:42,646 That's English for, "make out", right? 591 00:34:42,647 --> 00:34:45,082 Yes, but with lots and lots of tongue. 592 00:34:45,083 --> 00:34:49,553 All right, well, that was a great choice to snog to. 593 00:34:49,554 --> 00:34:50,687 It was amazing. 594 00:34:50,688 --> 00:34:52,589 I'm glad to hear it. 595 00:34:52,590 --> 00:34:56,326 So, being a bit of a fan, can I ask you three questions? 596 00:34:56,327 --> 00:34:59,396 All right. Go for it. 597 00:34:59,397 --> 00:35:01,632 Why did you stop writing? 598 00:35:05,403 --> 00:35:08,572 Who said I stopped? 599 00:35:08,573 --> 00:35:11,641 Right. Okay. 600 00:35:11,642 --> 00:35:13,643 Why did you leave your band? 601 00:35:13,644 --> 00:35:15,779 Oh, it was never really my band. 602 00:35:15,780 --> 00:35:17,280 It was our band. 603 00:35:17,281 --> 00:35:18,748 But, you know, you got a lead singer... 604 00:35:18,749 --> 00:35:20,317 with a huge personality. 605 00:35:20,318 --> 00:35:22,319 It was always gonna be her band in the end. 606 00:35:22,320 --> 00:35:23,553 I mean, rightly so. 607 00:35:23,554 --> 00:35:24,889 And is that why you left? 608 00:35:27,158 --> 00:35:28,392 No, honestly, I... 609 00:35:30,428 --> 00:35:33,130 You know that whole rock 'n roll lifestyle thing... 610 00:35:33,131 --> 00:35:37,135 it just wasn't that important. 611 00:35:38,202 --> 00:35:39,903 No fame or money? 612 00:35:39,904 --> 00:35:44,675 No, it's not everything. I mean, I figured that out pretty early. 613 00:35:47,345 --> 00:35:50,680 Okay, I have two questions. 614 00:35:50,681 --> 00:35:53,683 Oh, really? Yes, I do. 615 00:35:53,684 --> 00:35:55,719 What is an Orange Prize? 616 00:35:55,720 --> 00:35:59,723 Oh my god, you googled me! No, please. 617 00:35:59,724 --> 00:36:02,626 No, Eve told me one of Harold's daughters was a novelist... 618 00:36:02,627 --> 00:36:05,328 and it's obviously not Rose. 619 00:36:05,329 --> 00:36:08,431 She said the Orange Prize had been won. 620 00:36:08,432 --> 00:36:10,700 An Orange Prize is an award... 621 00:36:10,701 --> 00:36:12,569 they give to first-time female authors... 622 00:36:12,570 --> 00:36:15,705 and I didn't win, I was shortlisted. 623 00:36:15,706 --> 00:36:18,942 Congratulations. Was it autobiographical? 624 00:36:18,943 --> 00:36:20,443 Why do you ask that? 625 00:36:20,444 --> 00:36:24,447 Oh, come on, it's about an older sister... 626 00:36:24,448 --> 00:36:27,184 who's kind of attractive in a bookish kind of way... 627 00:36:27,185 --> 00:36:29,519 who lives with her hipster, skirt-chasing dad and... 628 00:36:29,520 --> 00:36:30,854 wild-child, younger sister... 629 00:36:30,855 --> 00:36:33,590 and they all live on red wine and pizza? 630 00:36:33,591 --> 00:36:34,724 You read it. 631 00:36:34,725 --> 00:36:36,226 Sure. 632 00:36:36,227 --> 00:36:38,695 Gotta check up on my new step family. 633 00:36:38,696 --> 00:36:41,765 Some of it was me, yeah, but most of it wasn't. 634 00:36:41,766 --> 00:36:43,934 I can't actually cook a Chicken Kiev. 635 00:36:43,935 --> 00:36:45,402 Not a problem. 636 00:36:45,403 --> 00:36:46,803 But I do like books. 637 00:36:46,804 --> 00:36:47,872 Obviously. 638 00:36:49,874 --> 00:36:52,576 Do you know, I would prefer if you referred to me as kind of... 639 00:36:52,577 --> 00:36:54,945 sexy in a librarian way, rather than bookish. 640 00:36:54,946 --> 00:36:56,413 Oh, you would prefer that, would you? 641 00:36:56,414 --> 00:36:57,547 Yes. Well, you need glasses for... 642 00:36:57,548 --> 00:36:58,883 "sexy librarian." 643 00:37:11,762 --> 00:37:13,998 Soul patch. 644 00:37:15,766 --> 00:37:18,301 "Such duty as the subject owes the prince,"... 645 00:37:18,302 --> 00:37:20,604 "Even such a woman oweth to her husband;"... 646 00:37:20,605 --> 00:37:23,907 "And if she is froward, peevish, sullen..." 647 00:37:23,908 --> 00:37:27,344 "sour and not obedient to his honest will..." 648 00:37:27,345 --> 00:37:30,280 "What is she but a foul contending rebel..." 649 00:37:30,281 --> 00:37:33,818 "And graceless traitor to her loving lord?" 650 00:37:35,886 --> 00:37:38,422 I'm not just a fuckin' movie star. 651 00:37:40,491 --> 00:37:44,027 Yeah, it's Priscilla for Guy. No, I don't wanna hold. 652 00:37:44,028 --> 00:37:45,695 I don't wanna hold, I don't wanna hold! 653 00:37:45,696 --> 00:37:47,932 Yeah. I wanna write a book. 654 00:37:50,534 --> 00:37:51,769 About me! 655 00:37:56,807 --> 00:37:58,975 You've never seen any of my films? 656 00:37:58,976 --> 00:38:00,644 I don't think so. 657 00:38:00,645 --> 00:38:02,879 Do you go to the theater? 658 00:38:02,880 --> 00:38:05,282 What? Not if we can help it. 659 00:38:05,283 --> 00:38:08,818 Wait, hang on. Were you in the last Sponge Bob film? 660 00:38:08,819 --> 00:38:10,487 I was, indeed. 661 00:38:10,488 --> 00:38:12,489 Oh my god! I love Sponge Bob! 662 00:38:12,490 --> 00:38:13,757 Oh, yeah? 663 00:38:13,758 --> 00:38:15,725 You actually used to be quite good-looking. 664 00:38:15,726 --> 00:38:17,294 Put on some weight, though. 665 00:38:17,295 --> 00:38:18,528 Come on, Saffie, let's get a drinky. 666 00:38:18,529 --> 00:38:21,564 Actually, I've lost weight. 667 00:38:21,565 --> 00:38:22,799 What'd I miss? 668 00:38:22,800 --> 00:38:25,368 My whole career, apparently. 669 00:38:25,369 --> 00:38:26,970 That's it. I'm moving out. What? 670 00:38:26,971 --> 00:38:28,672 You're killing me with the secondhand smoke... 671 00:38:28,673 --> 00:38:30,006 and you don't even care. 672 00:38:30,007 --> 00:38:33,376 I do care! But you're not dead yet. 673 00:38:33,377 --> 00:38:37,547 Go, go over there and have the fresh air. Go on. 674 00:38:37,548 --> 00:38:39,849 $50 says Dad brings up his Tony at dinner. 675 00:38:39,850 --> 00:38:41,651 No way. $50 it's before the main course. 676 00:38:41,652 --> 00:38:43,086 $100 it's before the salad... 677 00:38:43,087 --> 00:38:45,322 and he got it for Pirandello's Henry IV. 678 00:38:45,323 --> 00:38:47,357 That's bold. Watch and learn. 679 00:38:47,358 --> 00:38:49,659 I'll take desert. All right, man. 680 00:38:49,660 --> 00:38:53,363 So wait-wait-wait, you guys met in a jailhouse, for women? 681 00:38:53,364 --> 00:38:55,065 Yeah, it's actually a really good way to meet people. 682 00:38:55,066 --> 00:38:56,100 Here we go, here we go. 683 00:38:58,536 --> 00:39:01,971 I, for one, would like to commend Eve... 684 00:39:01,972 --> 00:39:06,543 on her optimism and her perseverance... 685 00:39:06,544 --> 00:39:08,879 and of course, her courage... Yeah. 686 00:39:10,815 --> 00:39:14,684 ...in taking this plunge yet again. 687 00:39:14,685 --> 00:39:17,053 Brave girl. I must say, I was surprised. 688 00:39:17,054 --> 00:39:21,057 In fact, I would have wagered my Tony Award... 689 00:39:21,058 --> 00:39:22,559 for my performance... 690 00:39:22,560 --> 00:39:26,363 in Pirandello's Henry IV... Bastard. 691 00:39:26,364 --> 00:39:28,131 Against the idea that you would ever... 692 00:39:28,132 --> 00:39:31,901 tread down this path again, my darling. 693 00:39:31,902 --> 00:39:35,805 But having met Harold, I think I get it. 694 00:39:35,806 --> 00:39:37,907 To Eve and Harold. 695 00:39:37,908 --> 00:39:39,843 To Eve and Harold. 696 00:39:39,844 --> 00:39:41,077 Salut. Salut. 697 00:39:41,078 --> 00:39:42,580 Here you go. 698 00:39:47,618 --> 00:39:50,754 So, lovebirds, hey... 699 00:39:50,755 --> 00:39:55,592 I know it's customary to give the gifts after the wedding... 700 00:39:55,593 --> 00:39:58,161 but I really wanna give you my gift now. 701 00:39:58,162 --> 00:39:59,596 Right now. Sure. 702 00:39:59,597 --> 00:40:02,999 Love it. Cheers. 703 00:40:03,000 --> 00:40:08,638 ♪ Hey little sister what have you done ♪ 704 00:40:08,639 --> 00:40:14,544 ♪ Hey little sister who's the only one ♪ 705 00:40:14,545 --> 00:40:17,614 ♪ Hey little sister who's your superman ♪ 706 00:40:17,615 --> 00:40:20,483 ♪ Little sister who's the one you want ♪ 707 00:40:20,484 --> 00:40:22,485 ♪ Little sister shotgun ♪ 708 00:40:22,486 --> 00:40:27,624 ♪ It's a nice day for a Wilde Wedding ♪ 709 00:40:27,625 --> 00:40:29,759 Woo! 710 00:40:38,202 --> 00:40:41,772 ♪ Hey little sister who's it you're with ♪ 711 00:40:43,908 --> 00:40:48,012 ♪ Hey little sister what's your vice or wish ♪ 712 00:40:49,580 --> 00:40:52,649 ♪ Hey little sister shotgun oh yeah ♪ 713 00:40:52,650 --> 00:40:55,518 ♪ Little sister who's your superman ♪ 714 00:40:55,519 --> 00:40:56,986 ♪ Little sister shotgun ♪ 715 00:40:56,987 --> 00:41:00,757 ♪ It's a nice day to start again ♪ 716 00:41:00,758 --> 00:41:02,926 Woo! 717 00:41:02,927 --> 00:41:06,162 ♪ It's a nice day for a Wilde Wedding ♪ 718 00:41:06,163 --> 00:41:08,665 Wow! 719 00:41:08,666 --> 00:41:13,671 ♪ It's a nice day to start again ♪ 720 00:41:22,913 --> 00:41:24,147 ♪ Hey little sister ♪ That's your daughter. 721 00:41:24,148 --> 00:41:28,718 ♪ What have you done ♪ 722 00:41:28,719 --> 00:41:33,957 ♪ Hey little sister who's the only one ♪ 723 00:41:33,958 --> 00:41:36,860 ♪ I've been away for so long ♪ 724 00:41:36,861 --> 00:41:39,696 ♪ I let you go for so so long now ♪ 725 00:41:39,697 --> 00:41:41,698 ♪ Hey little sister shot gun ♪ 726 00:41:41,699 --> 00:41:44,567 ♪ It's a nice day to ♪ 727 00:41:44,568 --> 00:41:47,704 Care to dance? ♪ Start again ♪ 728 00:41:47,705 --> 00:41:51,774 ♪ Oh it's a nice day for a Wilde Wedding ♪ 729 00:41:51,775 --> 00:41:53,176 Fuck off. 730 00:41:53,177 --> 00:41:58,182 ♪ It's a nice day to start again ♪ 731 00:42:03,954 --> 00:42:05,755 Hello, this is James Darling. 732 00:42:05,756 --> 00:42:07,991 I called yesterday trying to track down the young lady... 733 00:42:07,992 --> 00:42:12,829 who drove the Montauk bus, that did not arrive at 11:45. 734 00:42:12,830 --> 00:42:15,765 And you asked me why I wanted to contact her. 735 00:42:15,766 --> 00:42:19,168 And, well, the reason is... 736 00:42:19,169 --> 00:42:21,604 when I saw her... 737 00:42:21,605 --> 00:42:24,674 in her not-very-flattering jitney uniform, by the way... 738 00:42:24,675 --> 00:42:30,046 when I saw her, the little voice in my head said... 739 00:42:30,047 --> 00:42:32,649 "This is the one..." 740 00:42:32,650 --> 00:42:34,083 Fuck! 741 00:42:34,084 --> 00:42:36,886 Easy, man. I'm not a horse. What happened? 742 00:42:36,887 --> 00:42:39,188 Gentle. Jimmy? 743 00:42:39,189 --> 00:42:40,823 Jimmy? 744 00:42:40,824 --> 00:42:43,126 Oh. 745 00:42:43,127 --> 00:42:46,630 I fucking tripped over the "Beware of Slope" sign. 746 00:42:50,634 --> 00:42:53,102 Oh my god, that is too funny. All right, Mom. 747 00:42:53,103 --> 00:42:55,638 It's just a grade-one ankle sprain. 748 00:42:55,639 --> 00:42:59,709 There's no sign of anterior talofibular disruption. 749 00:42:59,710 --> 00:43:01,744 Really, that's your professional diagnosis? 750 00:43:01,745 --> 00:43:03,279 It is, indeed, James. 751 00:43:03,280 --> 00:43:07,951 One of the great things about acting on the stage... 752 00:43:07,952 --> 00:43:10,920 is that one gets to inhabit a role. 753 00:43:10,921 --> 00:43:12,989 And you might be aware... 754 00:43:12,990 --> 00:43:17,126 that I have rather famously played a doctor. 755 00:43:17,127 --> 00:43:19,028 Doctor Doolittle? 756 00:43:19,029 --> 00:43:20,997 And your point is? 757 00:43:20,998 --> 00:43:24,801 You bandaged the leg of an animatronic giraffe, singing... 758 00:43:24,802 --> 00:43:26,736 "If I could talk to the animals"? 759 00:43:26,737 --> 00:43:30,073 And I was complimented on my technique... 760 00:43:30,074 --> 00:43:33,143 by numerous physicians. Bravo. 761 00:43:35,813 --> 00:43:39,282 Actually, I would like to compliment you, Laurence... 762 00:43:39,283 --> 00:43:42,652 on your very gracious toast. 763 00:43:42,653 --> 00:43:44,687 I meant every word I said. 764 00:43:44,688 --> 00:43:49,826 You are amazingly courageous, amazingly tenacious... 765 00:43:49,827 --> 00:43:54,130 and amazingly naive. 766 00:43:54,131 --> 00:43:55,932 Said the ol' cynic. 767 00:43:55,933 --> 00:43:58,034 Come on, Laurence, what are you still holding out for? 768 00:43:58,035 --> 00:43:59,302 I'm not holding out. 769 00:43:59,303 --> 00:44:03,106 I like my birdcage empty, thank you. 770 00:44:03,107 --> 00:44:07,844 Anyway, why would I want a new wife and new family... 771 00:44:07,845 --> 00:44:11,147 when I already have the best ex-wife... 772 00:44:11,148 --> 00:44:14,717 and raised the most perfect family any man could want? 773 00:44:14,718 --> 00:44:16,152 Oh my god, Dad... 774 00:44:16,153 --> 00:44:18,921 you have lived in a hotel suite for the last 30 years. 775 00:44:18,922 --> 00:44:20,723 With one fucking bedroom. 776 00:44:20,724 --> 00:44:22,860 When we wanted to see you, we had to check in. 777 00:44:26,730 --> 00:44:29,866 I think marriage is challenging, formidable... 778 00:44:29,867 --> 00:44:34,003 and to be taken very seriously... 779 00:44:34,004 --> 00:44:37,306 like a great heroic adventure. 780 00:44:37,307 --> 00:44:40,810 Captain Scott heading off into the Antarctic. 781 00:44:40,811 --> 00:44:42,846 Does that make me the South Pole? 782 00:44:44,748 --> 00:44:48,152 Where I would be very happy to plant my flag. 783 00:45:05,903 --> 00:45:07,738 Yeah! 784 00:45:19,983 --> 00:45:21,452 Look at this one! 785 00:45:36,800 --> 00:45:38,001 See ya. 786 00:45:43,307 --> 00:45:46,743 You did remember the birdcage. 787 00:45:46,744 --> 00:45:50,079 How could I forget, the best piece of advice... 788 00:45:50,080 --> 00:45:52,515 an ex-wife ever gave to a man? 789 00:45:52,516 --> 00:45:54,118 "You can't lock me up." 790 00:45:55,452 --> 00:45:57,286 Lock you up? 791 00:45:57,287 --> 00:45:58,521 Yes. 792 00:45:58,522 --> 00:46:01,390 Oh, god. 793 00:46:01,391 --> 00:46:05,129 After all these years and you had no clue. 794 00:46:06,230 --> 00:46:08,030 It's not about you. 795 00:46:08,031 --> 00:46:10,032 It's not? But I hate that. 796 00:46:10,033 --> 00:46:13,169 No, the birdcage was so you could... 797 00:46:13,170 --> 00:46:16,773 keep the next Mrs. Darling from flying away. 798 00:46:16,774 --> 00:46:18,342 Like the first one did. 799 00:46:21,078 --> 00:46:22,912 It was? Yes. 800 00:46:22,913 --> 00:46:25,314 No wait, I thought it was because, you know... 801 00:46:25,315 --> 00:46:28,851 you can fly in, but then if you wanted to fly out... 802 00:46:28,852 --> 00:46:31,121 you know, to meet up with other roosters... 803 00:46:38,862 --> 00:46:41,330 Hello, my lady. Where's Saffron? 804 00:46:41,331 --> 00:46:43,167 Gone inside. 805 00:46:48,205 --> 00:46:50,239 Homemade chocolates? 806 00:46:50,240 --> 00:46:53,010 They're super-delicious, and a lot of fun. 807 00:46:54,378 --> 00:46:56,412 What sort of fun? 808 00:46:56,413 --> 00:46:58,549 Let's just say they're in the 'shroom family. 809 00:47:09,359 --> 00:47:10,928 Wanna go for a moonlight ride? 810 00:47:14,498 --> 00:47:15,566 I'll go change. 811 00:47:25,342 --> 00:47:27,377 Do you know what's great about us? 812 00:47:29,146 --> 00:47:31,215 We've been through all the bad times. 813 00:47:33,083 --> 00:47:37,353 One of the benefits of being apart so long is that... 814 00:47:37,354 --> 00:47:40,891 somebody else had to take the knockout punches. 815 00:47:42,993 --> 00:47:46,596 And on that note, think I'll have another drink. Anyone? 816 00:47:46,597 --> 00:47:49,632 No. I won't. I'm getting married in the morning. 817 00:47:49,633 --> 00:47:51,934 I should think about going to bed. 818 00:47:51,935 --> 00:47:53,370 The night is young. 819 00:48:01,144 --> 00:48:05,648 Eve and Laurence have started in on the merits of marriage. 820 00:48:05,649 --> 00:48:08,618 It's funny how they didn't have that conversation 30 years ago. 821 00:48:08,619 --> 00:48:10,120 Isn't it? Uh-huh. 822 00:48:28,305 --> 00:48:30,673 I think that's enough of that. 823 00:48:30,674 --> 00:48:32,042 All right. 824 00:48:45,188 --> 00:48:47,323 Fuck. 825 00:48:47,324 --> 00:48:49,126 Fuck, fuck. 826 00:48:56,366 --> 00:48:58,167 Have you ever thought what might've happened... 827 00:48:58,168 --> 00:49:00,670 if you'd never gotten me that part? 828 00:49:00,671 --> 00:49:05,341 Yeah. I might've been mentioned in one of the reviews. 829 00:49:05,342 --> 00:49:08,211 I meant, what might've happened with us. 830 00:49:10,113 --> 00:49:11,480 I don't know. 831 00:49:11,481 --> 00:49:13,516 Would it've been different? Probably. 832 00:49:13,517 --> 00:49:15,718 Would it've been better? I don't know. 833 00:49:15,719 --> 00:49:17,387 Better than this? 834 00:49:20,290 --> 00:49:23,360 What if Harold feels there's no room for an ex-husband? 835 00:49:24,995 --> 00:49:27,196 There's always room. 836 00:49:27,197 --> 00:49:29,599 Ah, but maybe no more room for this. 837 00:49:33,737 --> 00:49:36,605 May I tempt you? 838 00:49:36,606 --> 00:49:39,710 I have a wedding dress to fit into. 839 00:49:45,716 --> 00:49:49,052 You're going to be the most beautiful bride. 840 00:49:57,227 --> 00:49:58,395 Hm. 841 00:50:02,265 --> 00:50:04,734 Hey. 842 00:50:04,735 --> 00:50:07,269 You wanna bake a cake? 843 00:50:07,270 --> 00:50:08,404 Okay. 844 00:50:08,405 --> 00:50:10,407 Fantastic. Let's go. Come on! 845 00:50:13,577 --> 00:50:17,079 Woo! 846 00:50:17,080 --> 00:50:18,547 You feel anything? Yeah! 847 00:50:18,548 --> 00:50:19,749 I feel... 848 00:50:19,750 --> 00:50:23,019 fucking... amazing! 849 00:50:23,020 --> 00:50:25,021 All right, I will chop the mint. 850 00:50:25,022 --> 00:50:29,358 You pick the tune. Music is important. 851 00:50:29,359 --> 00:50:31,427 So what're we actually doing here, Gordon Ramsey? 852 00:50:31,428 --> 00:50:35,431 Are you familiar with the chiffonade cut? 853 00:50:35,432 --> 00:50:37,434 No. What is it? 854 00:50:39,603 --> 00:50:42,738 Nice! Austrian Swing. 855 00:50:42,739 --> 00:50:45,641 Is that a lucky guess or an excellent choice? 856 00:50:45,642 --> 00:50:47,243 No, it's not a lucky guess. 857 00:50:47,244 --> 00:50:48,778 Really? Yeah. 858 00:50:48,779 --> 00:50:51,580 I spent two nights in a soggy tent in Glastonbury... 859 00:50:51,581 --> 00:50:54,417 just so I could shake my bum to these gentlemen. 860 00:50:54,418 --> 00:50:57,319 That's having the same effect on my ass, too, right. Come here. 861 00:50:57,320 --> 00:50:59,822 Okay, the chiffonade cut, you need a knife with a long, thin blade... 862 00:50:59,823 --> 00:51:02,758 and a handle that you can hold like a sword. 863 00:51:02,759 --> 00:51:04,293 Right. 864 00:51:04,294 --> 00:51:06,495 You know, I read that list of things... 865 00:51:06,496 --> 00:51:08,097 that psychopaths are good at. 866 00:51:08,098 --> 00:51:11,100 And cooking is right up there at the top. 867 00:51:11,101 --> 00:51:13,402 I'm almost afraid to ask how good you are. 868 00:51:13,403 --> 00:51:15,805 Guy who taught me's got two Michelin stars. Let's go. 869 00:51:15,806 --> 00:51:19,175 Oh my god, you're Hannibal Bloody Lecter. 870 00:51:19,176 --> 00:51:20,410 Oh, hi. 871 00:51:22,779 --> 00:51:25,247 I was just on my way up to bed. 872 00:51:25,248 --> 00:51:26,683 Okay. 873 00:51:28,351 --> 00:51:29,586 Yeah... um... 874 00:51:32,322 --> 00:51:35,724 if you see Sam, will you send him up? 875 00:51:35,725 --> 00:51:37,327 Okay. 876 00:51:49,439 --> 00:51:51,373 Good night. Good night. 877 00:51:51,374 --> 00:51:52,876 Good night. Night. 878 00:51:59,616 --> 00:52:02,618 You know, I'm feeling a little bushed myself. 879 00:52:02,619 --> 00:52:05,121 I think it's the jet lag. 880 00:52:05,122 --> 00:52:06,522 Are you sure? 881 00:52:06,523 --> 00:52:07,890 Yeah. 882 00:52:07,891 --> 00:52:10,893 Really? Yeah. 883 00:52:10,894 --> 00:52:12,329 Sleep well. 884 00:52:15,432 --> 00:52:17,801 This is the best wine I've ever had. 885 00:52:20,370 --> 00:52:22,538 Normally it's an okay little winery... 886 00:52:22,539 --> 00:52:25,909 but 2009 knocked it out of the park. 887 00:52:29,412 --> 00:52:32,548 And, it goes deliciously with these chocolates. 888 00:52:32,549 --> 00:52:34,284 Oh, thank you. 889 00:52:43,493 --> 00:52:44,573 Ah, you're making me dizzy. 890 00:52:51,401 --> 00:52:53,435 Be quiet! 891 00:52:53,436 --> 00:52:56,172 My dad... You be quiet. My dad. 892 00:52:56,173 --> 00:52:57,541 Harold! 893 00:53:30,774 --> 00:53:32,909 I wasn't a very good husband. 894 00:53:35,278 --> 00:53:38,348 Or father, either, for that matter. 895 00:53:39,616 --> 00:53:41,618 Just couldn't say no... 896 00:53:42,986 --> 00:53:45,554 to the work... 897 00:53:45,555 --> 00:53:47,957 to the women... 898 00:53:47,958 --> 00:53:49,593 to life's pleasures. 899 00:53:53,630 --> 00:53:58,568 And marriage puts a stop to all that, doesn't it? 900 00:53:59,636 --> 00:54:01,471 It does tend to, yes. 901 00:54:04,007 --> 00:54:06,942 "The cradle rocks above an abyss..." 902 00:54:06,943 --> 00:54:11,447 "and common sense tells us that our existence..." 903 00:54:11,448 --> 00:54:13,682 "is but a brief crack of light..." 904 00:54:13,683 --> 00:54:16,719 "between two eternities of darkness". 905 00:54:16,720 --> 00:54:18,622 Vladamir Nabakov. 906 00:54:23,960 --> 00:54:27,631 Our time in the light is nearly done. 907 00:54:29,733 --> 00:54:32,001 I sometimes wonder... 908 00:54:32,002 --> 00:54:36,305 if we should really be saying no to anything... 909 00:54:36,306 --> 00:54:40,343 before we face the long night. 910 00:54:44,314 --> 00:54:47,784 So I'm making a collection of face masks. 911 00:54:49,486 --> 00:54:51,020 What do you think? 912 00:54:51,021 --> 00:54:54,356 You've done this professionally, right? 913 00:54:54,357 --> 00:54:58,527 Well, I don't know, like I've never actually been paid for it. 914 00:54:58,528 --> 00:55:02,965 So, I don't think you could say that I'm a professional. 915 00:55:02,966 --> 00:55:05,701 But, I've done it like 50 times... 916 00:55:05,702 --> 00:55:08,505 and I've only lost two people. 917 00:55:09,973 --> 00:55:11,307 Lost? Yeah. 918 00:55:11,308 --> 00:55:12,375 Wait a minute. 919 00:55:13,843 --> 00:55:17,514 The breathing part is a bit tricky. 920 00:55:19,716 --> 00:55:21,950 Okay. 921 00:55:21,951 --> 00:55:24,086 Stop. 922 00:55:24,087 --> 00:55:25,522 You're ticklish. 923 00:55:39,736 --> 00:55:41,604 Sorry, kid. 924 00:55:43,540 --> 00:55:45,742 What're you made of, rocks? 925 00:55:48,044 --> 00:55:50,714 All right, I can do this. 926 00:55:56,920 --> 00:55:59,622 Okay. Okay. Okay. 927 00:56:14,604 --> 00:56:15,939 Did you lose something? 928 00:56:19,776 --> 00:56:21,611 Yeah, yeah, actually. 929 00:56:23,646 --> 00:56:26,782 The engagement ring that you never gave back. 930 00:56:26,783 --> 00:56:27,950 Oh. 931 00:56:27,951 --> 00:56:29,651 Well it's not down there. 932 00:56:29,652 --> 00:56:31,787 Really? No. 933 00:56:31,788 --> 00:56:33,456 Wanna check the other side? 934 00:56:39,629 --> 00:56:41,130 Okay, okay, wait-wait-wait. 935 00:56:41,131 --> 00:56:44,666 Mackenzie can never, ever, ever know about this. 936 00:56:44,667 --> 00:56:46,970 Oh, god. Or Sam. Of course, of course. 937 00:56:49,906 --> 00:56:51,807 And Eve. 938 00:56:51,808 --> 00:56:54,477 Don't tell your mother. Right? Oh, God, no. God, no, not... 939 00:56:56,846 --> 00:56:58,747 And you know, Laurence... you know I love your father. 940 00:56:58,748 --> 00:57:00,549 I do. I just... No-no-no. 941 00:57:00,550 --> 00:57:01,950 God, he's the most fucking indiscreet person I know. 942 00:57:01,951 --> 00:57:03,152 Okay. 943 00:57:03,153 --> 00:57:04,686 Oo! Oh, god. Oh, god. 944 00:57:04,687 --> 00:57:06,021 Okay, I'm here. Here we go. 945 00:57:06,022 --> 00:57:07,557 Just carry on. 946 00:57:31,848 --> 00:57:33,782 What? 947 00:57:33,783 --> 00:57:35,851 I don't know who's worse. 948 00:57:35,852 --> 00:57:37,954 You, for putting this on. 949 00:57:39,522 --> 00:57:42,525 Or you for watching this. 950 00:58:16,259 --> 00:58:18,862 It's hardly a comedy. 951 00:58:26,202 --> 00:58:28,270 My love! 952 00:58:28,271 --> 00:58:29,938 Yes? 953 00:58:29,939 --> 00:58:31,039 My love! 954 00:58:31,040 --> 00:58:33,041 Harold, are you drunk? 955 00:58:33,042 --> 00:58:36,778 I just had the most smashing bottle of wine... 956 00:58:36,779 --> 00:58:39,715 with your smashing ex-husband... 957 00:58:39,716 --> 00:58:42,518 who I think is smashing, by the way. 958 00:58:42,519 --> 00:58:45,153 Ah, well, I'm glad that's going so well. 959 00:58:45,154 --> 00:58:49,591 It is, but what's not going well, my dearest, is us. 960 00:58:49,592 --> 00:58:50,726 Oh, yes? 961 00:58:50,727 --> 00:58:56,565 Yeah, I'm pining for you. 962 00:58:56,566 --> 00:59:02,538 How can you leave me to languish on this moonlit night... 963 00:59:02,539 --> 00:59:06,608 alone in my bed, and you alone in yours? 964 00:59:06,609 --> 00:59:09,811 All right, Mr. Shakespeare, off you go. 965 00:59:09,812 --> 00:59:12,614 It's bad luck to sleep together the night before. 966 00:59:12,615 --> 00:59:16,119 But I... I'll bend the rules so far. 967 00:59:21,124 --> 00:59:22,926 That's your lot. 968 00:59:34,904 --> 00:59:38,074 I feel a lot of love about the things... 969 00:59:45,148 --> 00:59:47,316 Love is in the air. 970 00:59:47,317 --> 00:59:54,923 In the air. In the air, love, in the air. 971 00:59:54,924 --> 00:59:56,259 The last one's up. 972 01:00:01,998 --> 01:00:03,800 Laurence, my sofa! 973 01:00:11,341 --> 01:00:14,077 It's just a teensy, weensy bit of spillage. 974 01:00:16,646 --> 01:00:18,715 I'm gonna get another bottle. 975 01:00:34,631 --> 01:00:37,766 On the scale of bad ideas... 976 01:00:37,767 --> 01:00:40,902 where do you think this one is? 977 01:00:40,903 --> 01:00:44,940 I would say it's somewhere between... 978 01:00:44,941 --> 01:00:49,379 when I kissed George Michael, thinking it was you... 979 01:00:51,280 --> 01:00:55,050 and you remember that time I surprised you on tour? 980 01:00:55,051 --> 01:00:57,754 Oh, yeah, that was bad. That was terrible. 981 01:00:59,389 --> 01:01:01,757 Listen, I... Yeah, I... 982 01:01:01,758 --> 01:01:02,924 Mom! 983 01:01:02,925 --> 01:01:05,694 Fuck. Hey, will you turn the light out? 984 01:01:05,695 --> 01:01:07,329 Why? 985 01:01:07,330 --> 01:01:08,830 Mom! 986 01:01:08,831 --> 01:01:11,234 Okay, I'm gonna borrow this. Okay. 987 01:01:16,406 --> 01:01:18,006 What're you doing? 988 01:01:18,007 --> 01:01:19,941 I was just borrowing a book. Why are you up? 989 01:01:19,942 --> 01:01:21,410 I had a nightmare. 990 01:01:21,411 --> 01:01:23,879 You were singing one of your new songs. 991 01:01:23,880 --> 01:01:26,081 Yeah, it's pretty sick having your own blog, like... 992 01:01:26,082 --> 01:01:28,216 you can just post whatever you want. 993 01:01:28,217 --> 01:01:30,752 My mom or whoever can't come on and be like... 994 01:01:30,753 --> 01:01:32,288 "You can't post that." 995 01:01:36,225 --> 01:01:39,861 Oh, whoop. My god, I do not fuckin' believe that. 996 01:01:39,862 --> 01:01:41,697 That is my phone. Who's the Boss? 997 01:01:41,698 --> 01:01:43,165 That's my phone. 998 01:01:43,166 --> 01:01:45,467 Give that to me. It's the size of a fucking log. 999 01:01:45,468 --> 01:01:48,904 Saffie, that spanking could do some serious damage. 1000 01:01:48,905 --> 01:01:50,972 Get the fuck off of me! 1001 01:01:50,973 --> 01:01:53,342 And don't you dare call me Saffie, you nosey bitch. 1002 01:01:56,212 --> 01:01:57,779 What? 1003 01:02:23,239 --> 01:02:25,340 That star over there. What is that? 1004 01:02:25,341 --> 01:02:27,844 I don't know, is it? I'm asking you. 1005 01:02:44,460 --> 01:02:47,764 Now who's the boss, Saffie? Slut! 1006 01:03:03,346 --> 01:03:04,914 God! 1007 01:03:22,465 --> 01:03:24,133 Yes! 1008 01:04:08,511 --> 01:04:10,947 Fuck. 1009 01:04:14,116 --> 01:04:16,085 Fuck. 1010 01:04:32,134 --> 01:04:34,069 Aw, fuck! 1011 01:04:34,070 --> 01:04:37,506 Fuck! Fuck! 1012 01:05:11,574 --> 01:05:13,910 Oh my god. 1013 01:05:18,481 --> 01:05:22,084 The sofa looks like Gorbachev's forehead. 1014 01:05:40,202 --> 01:05:41,570 Oh, god. 1015 01:06:21,644 --> 01:06:24,045 I'm not gonna marry Harold. 1016 01:06:24,046 --> 01:06:25,513 What? Why? 1017 01:06:25,514 --> 01:06:29,451 I've been up all night, pacing around. 1018 01:06:29,452 --> 01:06:32,520 What was I thinking, getting married again? 1019 01:06:32,521 --> 01:06:35,523 I have my family, the people that've made the most of me. 1020 01:06:35,524 --> 01:06:38,493 And you know what I realized? 1021 01:06:38,494 --> 01:06:42,297 There is only so much room in the ol' attic. 1022 01:06:42,298 --> 01:06:44,633 Okay, sorry. You lost me. 1023 01:06:45,668 --> 01:06:47,435 New people. 1024 01:06:47,436 --> 01:06:50,372 All that baggage has to go somewhere. 1025 01:06:50,373 --> 01:06:52,540 To make room, I'd have to start rearranging everything... 1026 01:06:52,541 --> 01:06:54,176 that's already up here. 1027 01:06:56,545 --> 01:07:00,082 New or different doesn't necessarily mean better. 1028 01:07:03,552 --> 01:07:05,488 What am I gonna do? 1029 01:07:08,324 --> 01:07:13,361 Well, we've been here before, having similar conversations... 1030 01:07:13,362 --> 01:07:17,265 normally after the marriage has taken place. 1031 01:07:17,266 --> 01:07:22,337 So, in a way, I suppose we could say, we're making progress. 1032 01:07:23,606 --> 01:07:25,307 Come in. 1033 01:07:41,157 --> 01:07:43,825 It's disgusting! It's despicable! 1034 01:07:43,826 --> 01:07:46,261 It's embarrassing! What? What? 1035 01:07:46,262 --> 01:07:50,098 How many other of my friends have you shagged! 1036 01:07:50,099 --> 01:07:51,533 Oh, not now... Tell me, Dad! 1037 01:07:51,534 --> 01:07:52,767 How many are there? 1038 01:07:52,768 --> 01:07:54,402 Just tell me! What do you take me for? 1039 01:07:54,403 --> 01:07:57,606 What do you mean? A fucking pervert! 1040 01:07:58,574 --> 01:08:01,176 Where is that... Rose. 1041 01:08:01,177 --> 01:08:03,478 Rose! Darling! 1042 01:08:03,479 --> 01:08:05,313 Where are you, bitch? 1043 01:08:05,314 --> 01:08:08,616 You fucking slut! I'm gonna knock your head off! 1044 01:08:08,617 --> 01:08:11,753 Fucking my dad? What the fuck is wrong with you? 1045 01:08:14,457 --> 01:08:17,692 Wow. This got more hits than the piano-playing kitty. 1046 01:08:17,693 --> 01:08:20,695 PINK What do we have here? 1047 01:08:20,696 --> 01:08:26,668 Looks like Harold... no, "The Boss" and Saffie. 1048 01:08:26,669 --> 01:08:29,237 If I ever see her again, I'm gonna kill her. 1049 01:08:29,238 --> 01:08:30,772 Although it is lucky that she happened to be outside... 1050 01:08:30,773 --> 01:08:32,640 with her phone. 1051 01:08:32,641 --> 01:08:35,110 Pink's a blogger, Dad. 'Course she had her phone. 1052 01:08:35,111 --> 01:08:42,751 On camera right now. Oh, yeah. "The Boss" is Harold. 1053 01:08:48,290 --> 01:08:50,125 Nice. That's awesome, Sam. 1054 01:08:50,126 --> 01:08:51,460 Good job, Sammy. 1055 01:08:56,799 --> 01:08:59,400 You knew, didn't you? 1056 01:08:59,401 --> 01:09:03,538 I wanted to come to see you, but I was... 1057 01:09:03,539 --> 01:09:07,408 wondering if maybe by now you had developed... 1058 01:09:07,409 --> 01:09:10,879 a spirit of wry realism... 1059 01:09:10,880 --> 01:09:13,882 with regards to "happily ever after." 1060 01:09:13,883 --> 01:09:15,683 "Wry realism"? 1061 01:09:15,684 --> 01:09:19,787 Yes, well, maybe you were finally ready to live with... 1062 01:09:19,788 --> 01:09:21,823 bumpily ever after. 1063 01:09:21,824 --> 01:09:24,626 Bumpily ever after? 1064 01:09:24,627 --> 01:09:26,561 You think I'm making a mistake? 1065 01:09:26,562 --> 01:09:28,496 With Harold? No. 1066 01:09:28,497 --> 01:09:30,899 Harold's fine. I personally have nothing against him. 1067 01:09:30,900 --> 01:09:34,235 But you deserve way, way better. 1068 01:09:34,236 --> 01:09:37,839 You deserve to be loved... 1069 01:09:37,840 --> 01:09:40,375 because you've always been there to give love. 1070 01:09:40,376 --> 01:09:41,776 You deserve to be honored... 1071 01:09:41,777 --> 01:09:45,213 because you carried this family... 1072 01:09:45,214 --> 01:09:48,349 single-handedly on your shoulders. 1073 01:09:48,350 --> 01:09:52,387 And now it's your turn to take a ride. 1074 01:09:52,388 --> 01:09:56,424 My love, you spent the entire night pacing back and forth... 1075 01:09:56,425 --> 01:09:59,427 in your jammies, and you still look so damn cute. 1076 01:09:59,428 --> 01:10:02,864 And that deserves to be cherished. 1077 01:10:02,865 --> 01:10:04,867 And maybe it was no... 1078 01:10:07,536 --> 01:10:11,974 accident that Harold messed up last night. 1079 01:10:40,436 --> 01:10:42,438 Oh, Dad. 1080 01:10:44,240 --> 01:10:47,475 You've embarrassed us. 1081 01:10:47,476 --> 01:10:48,910 What you did... 1082 01:10:48,911 --> 01:10:53,649 it was just creepy in so many ways. 1083 01:10:55,284 --> 01:10:58,319 You watched her grow up. I know. 1084 01:10:58,320 --> 01:11:00,688 She was Rose's best friend, for God's sake! 1085 01:11:00,689 --> 01:11:04,792 I know. I never meant... it was... 1086 01:11:04,793 --> 01:11:07,328 I want... I just... 1087 01:11:07,329 --> 01:11:09,530 I packed up all my books. 1088 01:11:09,531 --> 01:11:13,935 I really wanted this to work. 1089 01:11:13,936 --> 01:11:17,273 Such a fucking idiot. 1090 01:11:18,440 --> 01:11:20,575 Yeah, you are. 1091 01:11:20,576 --> 01:11:24,012 I thought it was romantic. 1092 01:11:24,013 --> 01:11:26,314 I thought you'd finally found someone... 1093 01:11:26,315 --> 01:11:29,651 to spend the rest of your life with. 1094 01:11:29,652 --> 01:11:31,486 That you weren't gonna be alone. 1095 01:11:31,487 --> 01:11:33,421 I wasn't gonna have to worry about you... 1096 01:11:33,422 --> 01:11:34,956 living on cold pizza anymore. 1097 01:11:34,957 --> 01:11:38,027 Oh, darling, that was not our relationship. 1098 01:11:41,530 --> 01:11:44,066 I thought you'd changed. 1099 01:11:45,401 --> 01:11:46,902 I'm so, so sorry. 1100 01:11:49,371 --> 01:11:51,907 Come on... What am I gonna do? 1101 01:12:01,984 --> 01:12:05,019 Well, first of all... 1102 01:12:05,020 --> 01:12:08,324 I'm not the one you should be apologizing to. 1103 01:12:09,792 --> 01:12:12,827 And then, we'll all go back to London... 1104 01:12:12,828 --> 01:12:16,531 and to the shame of you having been caught having sex... 1105 01:12:16,532 --> 01:12:21,336 with a woman nearly 40 years your junior. 1106 01:12:21,337 --> 01:12:23,805 And then you'll have to move to Italy... 1107 01:12:23,806 --> 01:12:26,775 where they don't have a problem with that sort of thing. 1108 01:12:40,022 --> 01:12:45,027 ♪ What is this thing called love ♪ 1109 01:12:47,663 --> 01:12:52,668 ♪ This funny thing called love ♪ 1110 01:12:54,903 --> 01:12:59,908 ♪ Just who can solve its mystery ♪ 1111 01:13:02,044 --> 01:13:07,049 ♪ Why should it make a fool of me ♪ 1112 01:13:09,585 --> 01:13:14,590 ♪ I saw you there one wonderful day ♪ 1113 01:13:16,959 --> 01:13:21,930 ♪ You took my heart and threw it away ♪ 1114 01:13:23,399 --> 01:13:27,068 ♪ That's why I ask the Lord ♪ 1115 01:13:27,069 --> 01:13:31,606 ♪ In heaven above ♪ 1116 01:13:31,607 --> 01:13:36,612 ♪ What is this thing called love ♪ 1117 01:13:49,024 --> 01:13:53,961 I gather you've heard, I've gone and ballsed this up. 1118 01:13:53,962 --> 01:13:55,763 My cue to exit. 1119 01:13:55,764 --> 01:13:59,168 No... you may as well stay. 1120 01:14:02,738 --> 01:14:06,808 Eve, I really wanted to be that man. 1121 01:14:06,809 --> 01:14:10,878 The best man, you know, for you! 1122 01:14:10,879 --> 01:14:15,082 You were so utterly... 1123 01:14:15,083 --> 01:14:19,620 fucking fabulous and gorgeous and smart and charming. 1124 01:14:19,621 --> 01:14:22,924 And I thought I could change. 1125 01:14:22,925 --> 01:14:26,961 But it's just not me. 1126 01:14:26,962 --> 01:14:30,798 I'm so sorry that I have caused you this humiliation. 1127 01:14:30,799 --> 01:14:35,103 I just wish I could have it all directed at me. 1128 01:14:39,575 --> 01:14:41,510 Harold. 1129 01:14:43,245 --> 01:14:47,615 You might want to think about growing up. 1130 01:14:47,616 --> 01:14:51,519 Chasing 25-year-olds at your age... 1131 01:14:51,520 --> 01:14:54,188 it looks very sad. 1132 01:14:54,189 --> 01:14:56,524 I look like a swine. 1133 01:14:56,525 --> 01:15:00,528 Way more sad than that. 1134 01:15:00,529 --> 01:15:03,664 I am so fucked! 1135 01:15:03,665 --> 01:15:06,734 Harold, before you start flagellating yourself... 1136 01:15:06,735 --> 01:15:09,670 like a monk, may I say something? 1137 01:15:09,671 --> 01:15:13,908 Eve is a fabulous woman. She's a major catch. 1138 01:15:13,909 --> 01:15:17,078 And I'd say that sadly, from experience... 1139 01:15:17,079 --> 01:15:19,881 you're the one who lost out here. 1140 01:15:19,882 --> 01:15:22,683 And, if it makes you feel any better... 1141 01:15:22,684 --> 01:15:25,920 the reason I'm here in her bedroom is because... 1142 01:15:25,921 --> 01:15:29,190 she wanted to tell me that she wasn't going... 1143 01:15:29,191 --> 01:15:33,561 through with the marriage, and this was before... 1144 01:15:33,562 --> 01:15:37,131 you broke the internet with your... 1145 01:15:37,132 --> 01:15:41,069 Legends of the AARP vine. 1146 01:16:03,992 --> 01:16:05,993 Hey. 1147 01:16:05,994 --> 01:16:07,895 I'm so sorry. 1148 01:16:07,896 --> 01:16:09,630 You know what? 1149 01:16:09,631 --> 01:16:12,568 When it comes to apologizing for parents who behave badly... 1150 01:16:13,936 --> 01:16:16,572 we are a family of world champs. 1151 01:16:19,775 --> 01:16:21,577 Thank you. Sure. 1152 01:16:23,612 --> 01:16:27,615 I did not expect this weekend to pan out like this. 1153 01:16:27,616 --> 01:16:29,650 No. 1154 01:16:29,651 --> 01:16:32,253 How is everybody? 1155 01:16:32,254 --> 01:16:35,089 Rose and Saffron aren't speaking. 1156 01:16:35,090 --> 01:16:37,625 I don't think they ever will again. 1157 01:16:37,626 --> 01:16:39,093 That bad, huh? 1158 01:16:39,094 --> 01:16:41,729 Well, not until they both coincidentally... 1159 01:16:41,730 --> 01:16:44,600 have teenage children in rehab in Minnesota. 1160 01:16:46,868 --> 01:16:48,604 How 'bout you? 1161 01:16:49,938 --> 01:16:53,240 I think I'm done trying to worry everyone... 1162 01:16:53,241 --> 01:16:55,309 into making the right decision. 1163 01:16:55,310 --> 01:16:57,778 They always make the same stupid decision... 1164 01:16:57,779 --> 01:16:59,981 they were going to anyway. 1165 01:16:59,982 --> 01:17:02,718 I think it's my turn to make a stupid decision, actually. 1166 01:17:12,894 --> 01:17:14,729 I'm sorry, that was really stupid, wasn't it... 1167 01:17:14,730 --> 01:17:16,331 No, no, no, no. 1168 01:17:19,067 --> 01:17:21,069 I can be way more stupid than that. 1169 01:17:36,118 --> 01:17:38,353 So how did you see this weekend panning out? 1170 01:17:39,688 --> 01:17:42,958 Well, kinda like this. 1171 01:17:45,093 --> 01:17:46,695 And what gave you that impression? 1172 01:17:48,830 --> 01:17:51,099 How we chop mint. 1173 01:17:52,701 --> 01:17:54,670 We've got the same taste in music. 1174 01:17:56,038 --> 01:17:58,105 That is important. 1175 01:17:58,106 --> 01:18:00,241 Yes, it is. 1176 01:18:00,242 --> 01:18:02,710 And... 1177 01:18:02,711 --> 01:18:07,048 you got a whole lotta new material for your next novel. 1178 01:18:07,049 --> 01:18:08,817 Oh yeah, masses. 1179 01:18:10,452 --> 01:18:12,154 You know what I think? 1180 01:18:13,689 --> 01:18:15,691 I think you should stay in New York... 1181 01:18:17,259 --> 01:18:20,696 and do a little research on some of the American characters. 1182 01:18:24,132 --> 01:18:25,766 Well, I can think of one. 1183 01:18:25,767 --> 01:18:27,368 Okay. 1184 01:18:27,369 --> 01:18:31,806 But, I'm a little worried that he wants to eat me... 1185 01:18:31,807 --> 01:18:35,143 with some fava beans and nice Chianti. 1186 01:18:36,411 --> 01:18:39,113 Look, I think I oughtta tell you something. 1187 01:18:46,722 --> 01:18:49,757 You don't have to say goodbye. Just jump in the car. 1188 01:18:49,758 --> 01:18:50,891 It's great to see you. 1189 01:18:50,892 --> 01:18:52,027 Thank you so much. Bye. 1190 01:18:53,462 --> 01:18:55,731 Bye. Bye. 1191 01:19:11,246 --> 01:19:15,015 I have a lot of answering to do, to all of you... 1192 01:19:15,016 --> 01:19:17,151 and I will. 1193 01:19:17,152 --> 01:19:20,321 But for now, I want you to know... 1194 01:19:20,322 --> 01:19:23,157 that I'm so sorry for having let you all down. 1195 01:19:23,158 --> 01:19:27,361 But, I promise you, we will get over this... 1196 01:19:27,362 --> 01:19:29,396 and we will move forward, together. 1197 01:19:29,397 --> 01:19:31,832 Yeah. Right, Dad. 1198 01:19:31,833 --> 01:19:33,434 I'm stopping off in New York. 1199 01:19:33,435 --> 01:19:34,935 What? 1200 01:19:34,936 --> 01:19:37,471 Probably gonna stay for a few months. 1201 01:19:37,472 --> 01:19:39,206 You two are on your own. 1202 01:19:39,207 --> 01:19:40,341 No, Clemmie. 1203 01:19:40,342 --> 01:19:43,879 You'll be fine. You'll be fine. 1204 01:19:48,049 --> 01:19:50,184 Mom... 1205 01:19:50,185 --> 01:19:53,821 if you sleep with your friend, does it ruin the friendship? 1206 01:19:53,822 --> 01:19:57,091 Oh, well, it never did for me. Really? 1207 01:19:57,092 --> 01:19:59,260 Yeah, but, I can count my real friends on one hand. 1208 01:19:59,261 --> 01:20:02,429 I mean, actually I don't even need one hand. 1209 01:20:02,430 --> 01:20:06,834 You know, the important part is... 1210 01:20:06,835 --> 01:20:10,237 not working on staying friends afterwards. 1211 01:20:10,238 --> 01:20:13,507 That's what ruins it. 1212 01:20:13,508 --> 01:20:15,976 But you don't have to worry about that, 'cause you know... 1213 01:20:15,977 --> 01:20:17,578 you're gonna have kids with like 15 fingers. 1214 01:20:17,579 --> 01:20:18,979 You're gonna have way bigger... Oh, my god. 1215 01:20:18,980 --> 01:20:20,414 Things to worry about. 1216 01:20:20,415 --> 01:20:21,982 Giant gloves. That's not... 1217 01:20:21,983 --> 01:20:24,051 Maybe mittens. That's not even funny. 1218 01:20:24,052 --> 01:20:25,153 That's better, right? 1219 01:20:27,155 --> 01:20:28,422 All right. 1220 01:20:28,423 --> 01:20:30,524 I'm a good mommy. 1221 01:20:30,525 --> 01:20:32,259 Yeah. I gotta go. 1222 01:20:32,260 --> 01:20:36,131 Why? I gotta go call Sam's dad. 1223 01:20:37,165 --> 01:20:38,532 Okay. 1224 01:20:45,841 --> 01:20:48,343 Oh, god, I'm gonna have to say something. 1225 01:21:05,560 --> 01:21:07,495 I'll do it. 1226 01:21:33,555 --> 01:21:38,259 Hello, everyone. I have an announcement to make. 1227 01:21:38,260 --> 01:21:42,963 After much deliberation and mature reflection... 1228 01:21:42,964 --> 01:21:44,598 by the parties in question... 1229 01:21:44,599 --> 01:21:48,002 it has been mutually decided... 1230 01:21:48,003 --> 01:21:50,671 that the advertised wedding... 1231 01:21:50,672 --> 01:21:52,973 will not be going forward. 1232 01:21:52,974 --> 01:21:57,544 Now, I know that's a disappointment to everyone... 1233 01:21:57,545 --> 01:22:00,581 but, look at it this way... 1234 01:22:00,582 --> 01:22:06,187 at least we won't have to have pasta afta the ballet. 1235 01:22:08,023 --> 01:22:10,292 Too soon. Very well. 1236 01:22:11,660 --> 01:22:13,128 Boys. 1237 01:22:15,463 --> 01:22:19,967 Boys, if you would, a clever and imaginative toast, please? 1238 01:22:19,968 --> 01:22:21,502 To calling it off? 1239 01:22:21,503 --> 01:22:26,473 Well done. To Eve and Harold for calling it off. 1240 01:22:26,474 --> 01:22:28,008 Cheers. 1241 01:22:28,009 --> 01:22:29,944 To Eve and Harold for calling it off. 1242 01:22:29,945 --> 01:22:33,981 However, Judge McCaffery is here. Everything is set up. 1243 01:22:33,982 --> 01:22:37,117 Why not take advantage? 1244 01:22:37,118 --> 01:22:40,521 So would anyone like to get married today? 1245 01:22:40,522 --> 01:22:42,656 Anybody at all? It's all on us. 1246 01:22:42,657 --> 01:22:47,361 Actually, it's on Eve, because I'm incredibly cheap. 1247 01:22:47,362 --> 01:22:49,164 Anybody? 1248 01:22:51,199 --> 01:22:55,536 No, okay. Well, I have a suggestion. 1249 01:22:55,537 --> 01:22:58,072 Eve? 1250 01:22:58,073 --> 01:23:01,142 Eve, show yourself! 1251 01:23:14,522 --> 01:23:19,393 My dear, before another marriage ends in divorce or death... 1252 01:23:19,394 --> 01:23:23,664 why don't we just cut to the chase and tie the knot? 1253 01:23:25,033 --> 01:23:26,567 What? 1254 01:23:26,568 --> 01:23:29,436 I mean, if there is somebody else you'd like to marry... 1255 01:23:29,437 --> 01:23:33,308 first, before you remarry me, that's... that's fine. 1256 01:23:34,576 --> 01:23:36,276 Boys, what do you think? 1257 01:23:36,277 --> 01:23:37,378 You're on your own here, Dad. 1258 01:23:37,379 --> 01:23:39,179 Oh I definitely wanna hear this. 1259 01:23:39,180 --> 01:23:42,683 Mom, it's Dad, so, a prenup is a must. 1260 01:23:42,684 --> 01:23:45,487 Thanks, kids, you're out of the will. 1261 01:23:50,392 --> 01:23:54,528 Eve, I've done some stupid things in my life. 1262 01:23:54,529 --> 01:23:59,134 But that was actually the younger, dumber me. 1263 01:24:01,169 --> 01:24:04,538 I remember him well. 1264 01:24:04,539 --> 01:24:07,641 I constantly hear people say... 1265 01:24:07,642 --> 01:24:13,047 they're looking for the person they wanna grow old with. 1266 01:24:13,048 --> 01:24:17,484 But we're here, now... living it right now. 1267 01:24:17,485 --> 01:24:20,554 I wanna grow old with you. 1268 01:24:20,555 --> 01:24:24,324 I wanna spend the rest of my life with you. 1269 01:24:24,325 --> 01:24:27,327 Will you be my wife? 1270 01:24:27,328 --> 01:24:29,464 Will you marry me? 1271 01:24:31,633 --> 01:24:35,436 Again? 1272 01:24:49,084 --> 01:24:51,218 Yes. 1273 01:25:04,866 --> 01:25:06,501 Come on down here. 1274 01:25:08,203 --> 01:25:09,671 I do. 1275 01:25:13,408 --> 01:25:16,411 Then I pronounce you man and wife. 1276 01:25:42,871 --> 01:25:45,772 All-in-all, I would have to say, it was one of Eve's... 1277 01:25:45,773 --> 01:25:49,476 more entertaining family get-togethers. 1278 01:25:49,477 --> 01:25:52,813 Laughter, tears, love, and sex. 1279 01:25:52,814 --> 01:25:55,215 Who could quibble? 1280 01:25:55,216 --> 01:25:57,484 Do you know where your grandmother is? 1281 01:25:57,485 --> 01:25:59,887 Sorry, one second, I'll be right back... 1282 01:25:59,888 --> 01:26:02,322 I just wanted to show her something. 1283 01:26:02,323 --> 01:26:04,925 And, could you cut the "grandmother" bit? 1284 01:26:04,926 --> 01:26:06,561 Otherwise, it's... 1285 01:26:13,334 --> 01:26:14,768 Actors. 1286 01:26:32,253 --> 01:26:35,756 ♪ I bought a toothbrush some toothpaste ♪ 1287 01:26:35,757 --> 01:26:38,325 ♪ A flannel for my face ♪ 1288 01:26:38,326 --> 01:26:43,263 ♪ Pajamas a hairbrush New shoes and a case ♪ 1289 01:26:43,264 --> 01:26:49,304 ♪ I said to my reflection Let's get out of this place ♪ 1290 01:26:51,306 --> 01:26:54,308 ♪ Past the church and the steeple ♪ 1291 01:26:54,309 --> 01:26:56,710 ♪ The laundry on the hill ♪ 1292 01:26:56,711 --> 01:26:59,446 ♪ The billboards and the buildings ♪ 1293 01:26:59,447 --> 01:27:01,982 ♪ Memories of it still ♪ 1294 01:27:01,983 --> 01:27:07,221 ♪ Keep calling and calling ♪ 1295 01:27:07,222 --> 01:27:11,526 ♪ But forget it all I know I will ♪ 1296 01:27:13,294 --> 01:27:16,965 ♪ Tempted by the fruit of another ♪ 1297 01:27:18,499 --> 01:27:22,769 ♪ Tempted but the truth is discovered ♪ 1298 01:27:22,770 --> 01:27:28,008 ♪ What's been going on Now that you have gone ♪ 1299 01:27:28,009 --> 01:27:31,345 ♪ There's no other ♪ 1300 01:27:31,346 --> 01:27:34,983 ♪ Tempted by the fruit of another ♪ 1301 01:27:37,385 --> 01:27:41,556 ♪ Tempted but the truth is discovered ♪ 1302 01:27:43,625 --> 01:27:45,525 MACKENZIE Look at them. 1303 01:27:45,526 --> 01:27:47,361 Standing around the piano like they're singing... 1304 01:27:47,362 --> 01:27:49,496 The Circle of Life... 1305 01:27:49,497 --> 01:27:52,499 when they're actually singing a song about cheating. 1306 01:27:52,500 --> 01:27:54,468 See, I told you. 1307 01:27:54,469 --> 01:28:00,407 When it comes to my family, love is just one big mystery. 1308 01:28:00,408 --> 01:28:05,879 ♪ Now that you have gone There's no other ♪ 1309 01:28:05,880 --> 01:28:10,050 ♪ Tempted by the fruit of another ♪ 1310 01:28:10,051 --> 01:28:15,490 ♪ Tempted but the truth is discovered ♪ 1311 01:28:18,760 --> 01:28:22,830 ♪ Well I was tempted by the fruit of another ♪ 1312 01:28:24,866 --> 01:28:28,336 ♪ Tempted but the truth is discovered ♪ 1313 01:28:29,904 --> 01:28:33,308 ♪ Tempted by the fruit of another ♪ 1314 01:28:34,876 --> 01:28:39,813 ♪ Tempted but the truth is discovered ♪ 1315 01:28:39,814 --> 01:28:42,950 ♪ Tempted by the fruit of another ♪ 1316 01:28:45,086 --> 01:28:48,722 ♪ Tempted but the truth is discovered ♪ 1317 01:28:48,723 --> 01:28:52,493 ♪ Now what's been going on ♪ 1318 01:29:07,842 --> 01:29:09,877 Wait for it. 1319 01:29:12,613 --> 01:29:14,415 Wait. 1320 01:29:15,683 --> 01:29:17,518 Going. 1321 01:29:18,886 --> 01:29:20,655 Going. 1322 01:29:23,124 --> 01:29:24,892 Gone. 1323 01:29:33,101 --> 01:29:35,937 Almost dark. 1324 01:29:46,881 --> 01:29:47,981 There. 1325 01:32:25,806 --> 01:32:30,143 ♪ We we are the ones who love you ♪ 1326 01:32:30,144 --> 01:32:33,046 ♪ We are the ones who hurt you ♪ 1327 01:32:33,047 --> 01:32:37,217 ♪ We are the ones who heal you ♪ 1328 01:32:37,218 --> 01:32:41,688 ♪ I want to see into the shadows ♪ 1329 01:32:41,689 --> 01:32:44,257 ♪ I can take a bit of madness ♪ 1330 01:32:44,258 --> 01:32:46,561 ♪ It's lucky 'cause we've seen a lot ♪ 1331 01:32:49,297 --> 01:32:52,567 ♪ And I never said that this was organized ♪ 1332 01:32:55,002 --> 01:32:58,139 ♪ And I never said that we'd be fine ♪ 1333 01:33:00,775 --> 01:33:04,645 ♪ But I know I loved you throughout all these years ♪ 1334 01:33:06,647 --> 01:33:09,650 ♪ With you this chaos seems to bind ♪ 1335 01:33:11,686 --> 01:33:15,989 ♪ So let's hear it for the mothers ♪ 1336 01:33:15,990 --> 01:33:20,895 ♪ Sisters dads and brothers We're all in the same ol mess ♪ 1337 01:33:23,064 --> 01:33:26,833 ♪ I don't want to see into the future ♪ 1338 01:33:26,834 --> 01:33:29,769 ♪ Because I'm okay if I can reach you ♪ 1339 01:33:29,770 --> 01:33:32,073 ♪ And I'll take that above all else ♪ 1340 01:33:35,009 --> 01:33:38,179 ♪ And I never said that this was organized ♪ 1341 01:33:40,881 --> 01:33:43,184 ♪ I never said that we'd be fine ♪ 1342 01:33:46,387 --> 01:33:50,191 ♪ But I know I've loved you throughout all these years ♪ 1343 01:33:52,159 --> 01:33:55,129 ♪ With you this chaos seems to bind ♪ 1344 01:33:57,965 --> 01:34:01,135 ♪ I never said that this was organized ♪ 1345 01:34:03,738 --> 01:34:06,407 ♪ I never said that we'd be fine ♪ 1346 01:34:09,276 --> 01:34:12,380 ♪ But I know I loved you throughout all these years ♪ 1347 01:34:15,149 --> 01:34:18,319 ♪ With you this chaos seems to bind ♪ 1348 01:34:55,022 --> 01:34:58,959 ♪ I never said that this was organized ♪ 1349 01:35:00,828 --> 01:35:03,898 ♪ I never said that we'd be fine ♪ 1350 01:35:06,467 --> 01:35:09,904 ♪ But I know I loved you throughout all these years ♪ 1351 01:35:12,173 --> 01:35:15,776 ♪ With you this chaos seems to bind ♪ 1351 01:35:16,305 --> 01:35:22,739 Support us and become VIP member to remove all ads from www.OpenSubtitles.org 98401

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