Original subtitles

We're acting as though nothing happened,

and frankly I just find that a bit odd.

Belle... Yeah.

We-- We had sex.

You want his books to make money.

That's what you are to him-- a cash cow.

We're getting married.

He booked you for a shag two weeks ago.

You hardly know each other.

We'll get to know each other.

I like you, you like me.

I fancy you, I think you fancy me.

I do.

So we're on?

Yeah, we're on.

If you're going to do role-play, you have to do it completely.

You have to get every detail right.

Oh, hello.

But it's not just about the clothes or the props.

You have to work out how he wants to feel,

get inside his head, find the spark of the fantasy,

fan it until it's on fire.

I've been expecting you.

Hello. You don't have to start yet.

Oh right, okay. Sorry. Come up. It's Flat 23.

I'm actually quite nervous.

He's spent as much time thinking about the detail of this

as the average girl spends thinking about the detail of her wedding.

So, no pressure.

Hello, I'm Stewart.

Hi, come in. I'm Belle.

You got everything okay?

I did.

You look incredible.

Thank you.

Let me give you this.

Thank you.

So, shall I have a shower and get changed?

That'd be great.

I think it's going to be really good.

It's just through there.

Right.

Shall I use this as the front door?

I'll knock to come in and then we'll start.

Yeah.

You know the script? I hope so!

Don't worry, it'll be fine. See you in a minute.

Olga.

What's a nice girl like you doing in a place like this?

I could ask the same of you, Mr. Bond.

Please, call me James.

Mr. Presnakov would like to welcome you with a drink.

Are you sure he wouldn't like you to frisk me first?

Oh, yeah. I'm sorry.

It's all right, don't worry.

I would like to make sure you come to us

with the best intentions.

You certainly seem to come to me with the best intentions.

Aha! Now, the drink.

Dry martini. Shaken, not stirred.

The secret ingredient.

Vodka? Da.

How do you take it?

Stiff and ice cold.

Unconventional.

Why don't we enjoy these drinks somewhere more comfortable?

Mmm.

Now, Mr. Bond.

Let me show you some Russian hospitality.

Perhaps your hospitality could extend

to a discussion about Mr. Presnakov's plans

for his mining interests in Siberia.

I thought something was spoiling the line of the dress.

The drink, I feel woozy.

Sorry.

Make it stop.

Fetch my adrenalin shot from my jacket.

I won't have you taking advantage of me.

I'm being tracked from London.

They know just where I am.

Now I have you at my mercy, Mr. Bond.

Olga...

No!

In Russia... The drink...

...we say it is the men who are the weaker sex.

Olga...

Now, we shall be unstoppable!

Olga? Olga?

Why have you returned?

Oh, it's okay. We've stopped, Belle.

What? Oh. Sorry.

No, don't be. That was incredible. You were magic.

I was really worried I would get something wrong.

No, not at all! No. You gave it 500%.

Oh, thanks.

No, thank you, for all the hard work you put in. I really appreciate it.

No, think nothing of it. I really enjoyed myself.

Great! Yeah, I thought you did. Great.

I was wondering... Could I book another appointment?

Sure.

Have you seen The Prisoner?

I'll get the box set.

Brilliant.

Duncan's taking me to the opera.

I know. But I'm going to be really into it.

For all four hours.

500%.

Hey.

Hello.

This is Duncan.

Right. Hello.

You guys didn't need to dress up for little old me.

I'm taking her to the opera.

Oh, lovely!

It's great to meet you finally.

I've heard a lot about you.

As have I about you.

Great!

So, what can I get you?

Uh, red? Mmm.

Do you have a wine list?

We do.

May I recommend you one?

Okay.

The Malbec's really good.

Mmm. No.

I think two glasses of the Blaufraenkisch, please?

Actually, that's only by the bottle.

That's okay. Bottle's fine.

So how's work?

Work's work. Would you like to try this?

No, I'm sure it'll be great.

Thanks.

Mmm.

So, Hannah tells me that the book was your idea.

Not really.

Well, it was.

We should give you a finder's fee.

Really, I'm fine. Excuse me.

He seems nice. Yeah.

Is he all right?

Yeah, I think he's just got a bit of PMT.

Well, cheers. Here's to a great night.

Cheers.

Oh, great.

Byron. Hello.

Hi, Duncan.

Byron's, uh...

Byron's going out with... Engaged to.

Is engaged to a friend of mine.

Yeah, she's got an appointment.

She said she'd be there for ages, so I thought I'd come here.

Yeah, it's a bit confusing sometimes going out with a prostitute, isn't it?

Do you find it confusing going out with a prostitute?

Well...

What a question.

I actually don't.

We're going to Harpo's tonight.

So, everything all right with your wine, Duncan?

Yes, thank you, it's delicious.

I'm really glad to hear that.

Actually, we should probably leave. Mmm.

Yeah, you wouldn't want to miss the opera.

No.

I hope you enjoy it.

We will. Thanks for the drink.

Thanks for the tip.

Thanks for the support.

Thanks for bringing me.

Enjoying it?

Very much. You?

Yeah. The music's great.

So, you like Gounod?

Honestly? I don't really know that much about him.

I thought you were really into it.

I thought you were.

Not really, no. Huh.

'Cause in your book you say it's really frustrating,

you only ever get to see the first half of an opera

because the client always wants to go back to the hotel.

So I thought I'd bring you along so you could see the whole thing.

Oh, baby, you did it for me?

You hate it, don't you.

But I'm staying for the second half

because I'm going to stand in solidarity with all the escorts

who never get to find out what happens in the end.

I hate it, too.

Great! He dies in the end.

Let's finish these, get out of here,

and then you can tell me all about 007.

Okay, deal.

So, how many operas have you seen the first half of?

Pretty much all of them. We get brought here all the time.

So this bar is full of escorts?

Well, I don't know about full, but yeah.

Go on, then. Where?

Oh, you want to play guess the escort?

Yeah, okay.

Okay. Fiver?

Done. Great.

Okay, you first. Quick!

Okay, her.

That's his daughter, you pervert.

Oh, yeah.

Her. Definitely.

Oh, I pick her, over there.

Really? Yeah.

How do we know who's right?

Well, we'll just see who doesn't go back in.

No, that's good that they're going back in.

Definitely.

Oh.

Cough up.

Thank you.

Shall we?

You know that now we just look like punter and escort.

Oh, well, we'll go back in.

No. Oh, desperate.

I should work somewhere like this. It's really nice.

Cheerio.

Cheers.

So, did you and Belle used to be kind of...

Yeah, we might have...

Oh...

That must make it a bit weird?

Not really.

She's my best mate.

That's good, that's good.

Why? Do you think we should...

No! I don't know.

Just let it go, you think?

Let's finish these up and get out of here.

Yeah, after we do shots!

Yeah, after we do shots!

I'll get these...

Okay, I'll get a table.

Hi, can I have a bottle of Burgundy and two glasses, please.

Sure.

Thank you.

Excuse me.

Sorry.

Ah, Burgundy. Lovely. What was that?

Yeah. It doesn't matter.

Who was it?

Did you enjoy the opera?

He's a client.

Yes, I did. Particularly enjoyed its brevity.

Me, too.

He's not the Bond guy?

What did you think of the singer?

Well, I thought the tenor

was quite interesting.

But he didn't really look the way I expected an opera singer to look.

Stop it, please.

Do you want to go and sit over there?

Yeah, that'd be great.

Are you okay?

That was quite weird.

I'm fine. Let's just move on.

I'm sorry you had to see him.

You're not going to be weird, are you?

No, I'm not going to be anything.

Do you run into clients often?

I actually don't. I think that was the first time.

Don't.

Sorry, sorry. It's just, uh...

It's just, he's hardly Daniel Craig, is he?

Please, can we just leave it?

Not even Timothy Dalton.

Right, I'm going to get a glass of water.

Can I see the wine list, please?

This is awkward.

I'm really sorry.

I just don't want my wife to notice anything.

Can I get a glass of still mineral water, please?

We could leave if it's easier.

No, no, it's just you keep looking at me.

Oh, God. I'm really sorry. I didn't mean to.

No, no, of course you didn't.

I must admit I can't stop thinking about...

A glass of the Sancerre and a glass of the Syrah, please, thank you.

I can't stop thinking about our next appointment.

I'm really looking forward to it, too.

I can send you that box set if you like.

Oh, no, I've already ordered it.

You must let me reimburse you.

Oh, no, don't worry, it's fine.

Everything all right?

Yeah, everything's fine.

I'm just getting a drink...

It's just, I'm her boyfriend. She's not at work now.

Duncan...

I don't want to interfere or anything, but it would be

really good if you could respect that.

He does respect it. Why don't you sit down?

I don't want any... I'm sorry.

Well done. You've just lost me a client.

I was trying to help.

I don't need rescuing.

I thought the guy was hassling you.

You never bust a client. Ever.

Evening, evening. Evening.

Everyone having a good time?

How's your evening panning out?

Ben.

Ours is panning out really well.

Some of the best panning I've ever seen.

Please, not now.

Look, mate, why don't you go and sit somewhere else?

Listen, mate...

Mate... We wanted to talk to you.

Yeah, we did, we did.

Yeah, uh... Ben.

We wanted to talk to you.

We did, we did, we did.

What are you doing here?

We wanted to talk to you, actually.

Yeah, we've written a book, too.

It's called "Duncan is a Prick."

You wanker.

And inside, we did...

A picture of a prick.

I would never do this to you,

never intrude on a relationship of yours.

What about when I fucked your sister?

What, is your sister a prostitute, too?

Ben... Please...

Hey, I'm just trying to have a quiet drink.

Having a quiet drink. Don't manhandle him, yeah?

He's my best man. He's my best man.

Really? It's okay.

Please, would you just leave?

Sorry. Sorry. Sorry. Sorry. Sorry.

We're just gonna have a quiet drink.

Look, Ben, I don't know what I've done to you,

but why don't we sit down when you're a bit more sober,

have a coffee...

I'm...

You're sober. I'm ugly.

But in the morning...

I'll be sober. Yeah.

Right. We're leaving now?

Yeah.

This isn't over.

Yeah, you're probably right.

Why don't you stay and have a drink?

Hey! Get your sister along.

Another round?

Yeah.

You got anything to say?

I'm sorry if your night was spoilt.

It was spoilt. Yeah, it was.

I don't remember what happened.

You gonna apologize?

I have apologized.

No, you haven't.

Do you know what? Ever since this book came out,

it's like you're pretending to be this whole other person--

going to the opera, hanging out with people like him.

You should remember who your real friends are.

I can't believe you're trying to make this about me.

That's usually your job, isn't it?

That's nice, Ben. I'll see you later.

Fine. Go. You know what, Hannah?

I give up on you. I give up on you completely.

You know what? I give up on you.

I've had enough. I just... I just give up.

I've spent all this time writing about clients,

but I don't know what it's like to be a client.

Well, I wish I could be reckless

and act like an utter prick every now and again.

But running a company, I can't.

It's just research.

Oh...

Duncan'll be fine about it, won't he?