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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:05,756 --> 00:00:08,107 I've been camming online for money. [ moans ] 2 00:00:08,237 --> 00:00:10,109 NARRATOR: Previously onNow Apocalypse. 3 00:00:10,239 --> 00:00:12,633 I told you I could only come if I was finished with my work. 4 00:00:12,763 --> 00:00:15,331 -Sev, wait! -ULYSSES: From the moment me and Gabriel met, 5 00:00:15,462 --> 00:00:17,333 there was this supernatural connection between us. 6 00:00:18,987 --> 00:00:21,468 My name's Aja. Ah! Oh! Oh! 7 00:00:21,598 --> 00:00:24,079 -Don't you ever get bizarre premonitions?-MAN: Help me. 8 00:00:24,210 --> 00:00:27,343 They keep fucking me. They won't stop. 9 00:00:27,474 --> 00:00:30,390 -I'm fucking quitting acting.-Whatever happened to that web series that you were writing? 10 00:00:30,520 --> 00:00:31,521 I'll help you film it. 11 00:00:31,652 --> 00:00:34,437 You... want me to spank you? 12 00:00:36,439 --> 00:00:37,571 ULYSSES: Fucking, sucking, 13 00:00:37,701 --> 00:00:40,182 hand jobs, rimming, ass stuff, 14 00:00:40,313 --> 00:00:43,446 fingering, nipple play, then double it. 15 00:00:43,577 --> 00:00:46,188 'Cause of course, you can give and receive. So, what is it, like 12? 16 00:00:46,319 --> 00:00:48,669 Maybe you count making out, so it's like 13. 17 00:00:48,799 --> 00:00:51,411 -So, like, let's say like 15.-OK. 18 00:00:51,541 --> 00:00:53,674 Of the 15 or so... 19 00:00:53,804 --> 00:00:57,286 items on the gay sex menu, I'm into most all of them. 20 00:00:57,417 --> 00:01:01,073 But there's two things you can only do with a girl. 21 00:01:01,203 --> 00:01:03,075 Fucking a vag, and eating one. 22 00:01:03,205 --> 00:01:04,511 -Right. -Mmm. 23 00:01:04,641 --> 00:01:06,165 And I genuinely enjoy both. 24 00:01:06,295 --> 00:01:07,514 Especially fucking a pussy. 25 00:01:07,644 --> 00:01:09,255 It is not at all like fucking an ass. 26 00:01:09,385 --> 00:01:11,126 It's a totally different sensation. 27 00:01:11,257 --> 00:01:14,477 It's the only hole designed to accommodate a cock. 28 00:01:14,608 --> 00:01:16,305 Exactly. 29 00:01:16,436 --> 00:01:18,394 But, I'm still naturally 30 00:01:18,525 --> 00:01:21,441 so much more attracted to guys, so it doesn't even make me bi, 31 00:01:21,571 --> 00:01:24,879 it's just like, every once in a while, you know, I like to order off the menu. 32 00:01:25,009 --> 00:01:26,620 Plus, Aja was really hot. 33 00:01:26,750 --> 00:01:31,015 It makes sense. I mean, 99% of the time, I am... 34 00:01:31,146 --> 00:01:33,540 all about the "D." But, then, I don't know, 35 00:01:33,670 --> 00:01:35,455 sometimes I'll just randomly end up with a cunt in my mouth. 36 00:01:35,585 --> 00:01:39,546 And I'm all, [ exhales sharply ] guess I'm progressive. 37 00:01:39,676 --> 00:01:42,549 [ both laugh ] 38 00:01:42,679 --> 00:01:44,464 ♪ Then life is finite♪ 39 00:01:44,594 --> 00:01:47,510 [ Ford sighs ] I'm sorry, Sev. 40 00:01:47,641 --> 00:01:49,164 You know I hate it when we fight. 41 00:01:49,295 --> 00:01:51,123 We're not fighting. 42 00:01:51,253 --> 00:01:53,429 I'm very busy at the moment, and you're unhappy about it. 43 00:01:53,560 --> 00:01:57,738 I understand that work is a priority for you. 44 00:01:57,868 --> 00:02:01,437 I just, I need to make sure that our relationship is a priority, too. 45 00:02:01,568 --> 00:02:03,091 SEV: Of course it is, Ford. 46 00:02:03,222 --> 00:02:05,528 Just because I need to focus on work right now, 47 00:02:05,659 --> 00:02:08,488 doesn't mean I care any less about you. 48 00:02:08,618 --> 00:02:11,534 But I really must go, Lars and Klaus are waiting. 49 00:02:11,665 --> 00:02:13,232 Can I still see you later? 50 00:02:13,362 --> 00:02:14,929 I might be very late, and I need to get up 51 00:02:15,059 --> 00:02:16,104 early in the morning. 52 00:02:16,235 --> 00:02:18,019 That's cool. I, I don't mind. 53 00:02:18,150 --> 00:02:19,455 SEV: All right. 54 00:02:19,586 --> 00:02:21,414 But I need to get to sleep as soon as I get home. 55 00:02:21,544 --> 00:02:23,067 I, I promise, 56 00:02:23,198 --> 00:02:24,678 I just want to sleep next to you. 57 00:02:24,808 --> 00:02:26,636 Fine, I'll see you later then. 58 00:02:26,767 --> 00:02:28,508 Sweet, OK. Bye, babes! 59 00:02:28,638 --> 00:02:29,596 Bye, Ford. 60 00:02:31,554 --> 00:02:33,208 Sorry about that. 61 00:02:33,339 --> 00:02:36,255 -No problem.-It is why we are both still single. 62 00:02:36,385 --> 00:02:38,431 -Anyway, shall we? -Mm. 63 00:02:41,260 --> 00:02:43,566 Oh, I was meaning to ask. 64 00:02:43,697 --> 00:02:47,091 Have either of you noticed any unusual vehicles following you recently? 65 00:02:49,529 --> 00:02:50,921 No, why? 66 00:02:51,052 --> 00:02:52,184 Have you? 67 00:02:53,837 --> 00:02:56,492 I thought so, the other day. But, I'm sure it was nothing. 68 00:02:58,277 --> 00:03:00,279 This is, seriously, 69 00:03:00,409 --> 00:03:02,759 our last round. We gotta get up early tomorrow. 70 00:03:02,890 --> 00:03:06,372 The 8:00 a.m. call time was your brilliant idea. Not mine. 71 00:03:06,502 --> 00:03:08,461 We do have a lot of scenes to shoot 72 00:03:08,591 --> 00:03:09,897 in one day. 73 00:03:12,378 --> 00:03:15,337 -What are you doing?-Sorry, uh, it was my cam client. 74 00:03:15,468 --> 00:03:17,470 Worm. Uh, we were sexting earlier. 75 00:03:17,600 --> 00:03:20,255 I didn't think that you gave your number out to these guys. 76 00:03:20,386 --> 00:03:24,564 Yeah, I,I don't normally. But, I, I don't know, this one is like weirdly... 77 00:03:24,694 --> 00:03:26,566 endearing. 78 00:03:26,696 --> 00:03:28,437 He looks like a dying bird. 79 00:03:28,568 --> 00:03:32,006 -Is this the... Is this the pee guy?-Mmm. 80 00:03:32,136 --> 00:03:35,227 Did I tell you about him? Yeah, he, uh, he watched me pee in the bathtub. 81 00:03:35,357 --> 00:03:36,228 Ugh, yeah. 82 00:03:37,838 --> 00:03:39,143 -Mmm. -Was it, like, hot? 83 00:03:39,274 --> 00:03:42,538 Hmm, eh, eh, yeah. 84 00:03:42,669 --> 00:03:45,541 Speaking of, have you heard from Palm Springs guy? 85 00:03:45,672 --> 00:03:49,719 Leif? Oh, no. We-we purposely didn't exchange numbers. 86 00:03:49,850 --> 00:03:52,156 I told him I didn't wanna be tempted, so... 87 00:03:52,287 --> 00:03:54,463 -[ phone vibrating ]-Sorry. 88 00:03:54,594 --> 00:03:57,466 Oh. And, uh, on that note. 89 00:03:57,597 --> 00:03:58,685 Hey, babe! 90 00:03:58,815 --> 00:04:02,384 -Are you fucking watching it?-Um, yes! 91 00:04:02,515 --> 00:04:05,039 -[ whispering ] He's the worst.-Yeah, uh, American Crime Scene on ABC, right? 92 00:04:05,169 --> 00:04:06,606 CBS! 93 00:04:06,736 --> 00:04:08,303 Yeah, yeah, sorry, of course. Ha ha! 94 00:04:08,434 --> 00:04:09,261 JETHRO: Where are you? 95 00:04:09,391 --> 00:04:10,653 Uh, I just... 96 00:04:10,784 --> 00:04:13,265 I'm just, uh, at home. 97 00:04:13,395 --> 00:04:15,179 Sounds noisy. CARLY: It's, uh... 98 00:04:15,310 --> 00:04:17,269 It's... [ chuckles ] neighbors. 99 00:04:17,399 --> 00:04:21,316 Uh, oh, oh, oh, baby! Baby! Shh, quiet, quiet. It's my scene. 100 00:04:21,447 --> 00:04:25,451 Ah, ah, ah. Hey-hey, not, not too hard. Just...watch the TV. 101 00:04:25,581 --> 00:04:29,455 Wow, you are so real, and in the moment, bro. 102 00:04:29,585 --> 00:04:31,283 [ choking ] 103 00:04:31,413 --> 00:04:33,154 Thanks, bro. 104 00:04:49,736 --> 00:04:53,217 Did I wake you? Sorry, I was trying to be as silent as possible. 105 00:04:53,348 --> 00:04:54,871 That's OK. I just wanted to make sure 106 00:04:55,002 --> 00:04:57,221 to say "good morning" before you go. 107 00:04:57,352 --> 00:04:59,093 That's sweet. 108 00:04:59,223 --> 00:05:00,834 Oh, you're leaving already? 109 00:05:00,964 --> 00:05:03,576 Yes. I told you, I have a very full day today. 110 00:05:03,706 --> 00:05:05,229 -[ phone chimes ] -All right. 111 00:05:05,360 --> 00:05:06,492 See you later. 112 00:05:06,622 --> 00:05:07,710 Whoa. 113 00:05:07,841 --> 00:05:10,060 -What is it? -Uh... 114 00:05:12,193 --> 00:05:13,890 Otto just... 115 00:05:14,021 --> 00:05:17,111 uh, sent me the photos he took of me from our modeling session. 116 00:05:17,241 --> 00:05:18,504 Oh? 117 00:05:21,550 --> 00:05:23,813 Hmm. OK. 118 00:05:23,944 --> 00:05:26,207 Have a productive day. 119 00:05:26,338 --> 00:05:27,643 Uh, they're good, right? 120 00:05:27,774 --> 00:05:29,602 Yes... 121 00:05:29,732 --> 00:05:32,866 Your body's uh, sublime as a Greek sculpture. 122 00:05:32,996 --> 00:05:35,521 Yeah, you think? 123 00:05:35,651 --> 00:05:37,914 -[ phone beeps ] -Klaus? Yes. 124 00:05:38,045 --> 00:05:39,176 -I'm on my way. -Sev, wait. 125 00:05:39,307 --> 00:05:41,048 -Sev, wait. -What? 126 00:05:41,788 --> 00:05:43,224 I love you. 127 00:05:43,355 --> 00:05:45,531 -Yeah, me too. -Really? 128 00:05:45,661 --> 00:05:47,141 Do you? 129 00:05:47,271 --> 00:05:49,709 -Do I what? -Love me. 130 00:05:49,839 --> 00:05:51,667 Yes, I just said so. Ford, honestly, 131 00:05:51,798 --> 00:05:53,669 I don't have time for this discussion. 132 00:05:53,800 --> 00:05:56,846 I'll call you later. Klaus. 133 00:05:56,977 --> 00:05:59,327 Yes, sorry. I'm leaving right now. 134 00:05:59,458 --> 00:06:00,720 Bye! 135 00:06:04,854 --> 00:06:06,726 [ sighs ] 136 00:06:19,521 --> 00:06:22,089 MAN: You still don't get it, do you? 137 00:06:24,613 --> 00:06:26,398 Get what? 138 00:06:26,528 --> 00:06:30,576 What this is all about. 139 00:06:30,706 --> 00:06:32,404 Don't play dumb with me, Ulysses. 140 00:06:32,534 --> 00:06:34,449 You are double Sagittarius, after all. 141 00:06:34,580 --> 00:06:36,886 Scorpio. 142 00:06:37,017 --> 00:06:40,760 The point is you know. You've always known. 143 00:06:40,890 --> 00:06:42,675 What, what are you talking about? 144 00:06:46,548 --> 00:06:48,985 The apocalypse is nigh, when, behold, 145 00:06:49,116 --> 00:06:53,686 the archangel Gabriel appears, and blows his golden trumpet. 146 00:07:19,451 --> 00:07:21,583 [ sighs ] 147 00:07:21,714 --> 00:07:23,629 [ phone alarm beeping ] 148 00:07:29,417 --> 00:07:30,766 ULYSSES: So, we are rolling. 149 00:07:30,897 --> 00:07:34,509 MAGENTA: Sluts.Scene one, take one. 150 00:07:37,860 --> 00:07:40,559 OK. And... 151 00:07:40,689 --> 00:07:41,821 action! 152 00:07:42,865 --> 00:07:44,911 I am so over acting. 153 00:07:45,041 --> 00:07:46,826 Like, being an actress in L.A. 154 00:07:46,956 --> 00:07:49,481 is like being anorexic at an all girls boarding school. 155 00:07:49,611 --> 00:07:52,788 It's unoriginal, and you're fucking starving. 156 00:07:52,919 --> 00:07:56,662 Not to mention, there's always someone thinner than you. 157 00:07:56,792 --> 00:07:59,316 CARLY: I was thinking, maybe I should do a web series. 158 00:07:59,447 --> 00:08:03,756 I just feel like I really identify as someone who would be an internet celebrity. 159 00:08:06,106 --> 00:08:07,760 Fuck, I forgot my line, what is it, again? 160 00:08:07,890 --> 00:08:09,588 You say: "Yeah." 161 00:08:09,718 --> 00:08:11,764 Right, sorry, um. 162 00:08:12,939 --> 00:08:13,853 Yeah! 163 00:08:15,594 --> 00:08:17,813 So, what should my show be about? 164 00:08:17,944 --> 00:08:21,904 Hmm, how about transgender runaways-- 165 00:08:22,035 --> 00:08:25,604 Um, actually, the line should be gender non-conforming runaways. 166 00:08:25,734 --> 00:08:29,521 Magenta! We are ad-libbing! Just go stand in the corner. 167 00:08:29,651 --> 00:08:31,958 Um, what about me? Am-am I doing OK? 168 00:08:32,088 --> 00:08:33,525 Who are you? 169 00:08:33,655 --> 00:08:36,484 I'm your new roommate, Emily. 170 00:08:36,615 --> 00:08:39,531 Yeah. Right, sorry. 171 00:08:39,661 --> 00:08:43,926 Emily, could you be less enthusiastic with the table wiping? 172 00:08:45,928 --> 00:08:47,539 Let's just pick it up where we left off, OK? 173 00:08:47,669 --> 00:08:49,758 And... action! 174 00:08:49,889 --> 00:08:53,457 Anyway, so, what's new with you, Odysseus? 175 00:08:53,588 --> 00:08:57,200 Well, I've been on a bit of a sex rampage lately. 176 00:08:57,331 --> 00:08:59,768 I fucked this girl Astrid last night 177 00:08:59,899 --> 00:09:02,510 -under a bus. -OMG. 178 00:09:02,641 --> 00:09:03,990 Are you bisexual now? 179 00:09:04,120 --> 00:09:07,820 I'm not bisexual, I'm just a slut. 180 00:09:07,950 --> 00:09:09,735 [ both chuckle ] 181 00:09:11,475 --> 00:09:13,652 Teach me, baby. 182 00:09:13,782 --> 00:09:17,960 -Teach me. Teach me, baby! Teach me-- -We can hear you in here! 183 00:09:18,091 --> 00:09:21,529 Oh! Sorry, my bad. 184 00:09:21,660 --> 00:09:25,402 [ whispering ] Teach me, baby. Teach me,baby. 185 00:09:25,533 --> 00:09:28,667 Ooh. Oh, yeah. 186 00:09:28,797 --> 00:09:30,364 Teach me, baby. 187 00:09:30,494 --> 00:09:32,453 [ electronic music plays ] 188 00:09:34,890 --> 00:09:36,022 -ULYSSES: And... - [ camera shutter clicks ] 189 00:09:36,152 --> 00:09:38,415 Action! 190 00:09:38,546 --> 00:09:41,810 Ommm. 191 00:09:41,941 --> 00:09:43,725 Ommm. 192 00:09:43,856 --> 00:09:47,729 Jebediah, I'm so horny. 193 00:09:47,860 --> 00:09:50,253 Please fuck me. Please. 194 00:09:50,384 --> 00:09:52,952 Ommm, get off my jock, Charley. 195 00:09:53,082 --> 00:09:56,564 Can't you see I'm busy trying to reach a higher plane of consciousness? 196 00:09:56,695 --> 00:10:01,047 Jebediah, please, I am so desperate for your cock. 197 00:10:03,136 --> 00:10:04,398 Wait, wait, wait. 198 00:10:04,528 --> 00:10:06,661 What? 199 00:10:06,792 --> 00:10:09,621 It's just that last line doesn't feel authentic to my character. 200 00:10:09,751 --> 00:10:11,361 Why not? 201 00:10:11,492 --> 00:10:13,755 Sweetie, I wouldn't expect you to understand, but... 202 00:10:13,886 --> 00:10:16,628 someone who meditates couldn't possibly be that condescending. 203 00:10:19,065 --> 00:10:21,676 Look, I think with all the takes that we've done, 204 00:10:21,807 --> 00:10:23,199 -we already got it. -CARLY: OK, whatever. 205 00:10:23,330 --> 00:10:25,680 Let's just move on to the sex scene. 206 00:10:25,811 --> 00:10:28,074 OK, fine, if you say so. 207 00:10:28,204 --> 00:10:30,424 I'll just have to say "I told you so" when all hell breaks loose 208 00:10:30,554 --> 00:10:34,080 in the Zen blogosphere over your flawed representation of the practice. 209 00:10:34,210 --> 00:10:36,125 Um, before we do the sex scene, 210 00:10:36,256 --> 00:10:38,301 I just think it's a good idea for everyone to say out loud 211 00:10:38,432 --> 00:10:41,478 -what they do and do not consent to, as to avoid-- -Shut up! 212 00:10:41,609 --> 00:10:42,523 Magenta! 213 00:10:44,917 --> 00:10:48,137 -Let's continue, shall we? -ULYSSES: OK. 214 00:10:48,268 --> 00:10:50,226 And, action! 215 00:10:51,967 --> 00:10:54,448 Hey, I know you're a feminist, or, 216 00:10:54,578 --> 00:10:57,625 whatever, but I think it is kinda weird that you're using your vibrator 217 00:10:57,756 --> 00:10:59,888 -while we are having sex. -[ scoffs ] 218 00:11:00,019 --> 00:11:03,892 Fine! If you're so jealous, I won't use it. 219 00:11:04,023 --> 00:11:06,242 -[ crashing sound ]-JETHRO: Cut, cut, cut, cut. 220 00:11:06,373 --> 00:11:09,158 -Jethro, you cannot say cut, that is my job. -ULYSSES: I... 221 00:11:09,289 --> 00:11:10,986 [ stammering ] I thought that was my job. 222 00:11:11,117 --> 00:11:13,032 It's just, just the last vibrator line, 223 00:11:13,162 --> 00:11:15,817 I don't think my character would say something like that. 224 00:11:15,948 --> 00:11:17,601 You literally said that. 225 00:11:19,212 --> 00:11:21,388 No. Don't know what you're talking about. 226 00:11:23,259 --> 00:11:25,566 Lunch. I think that's a lunch. 227 00:11:31,137 --> 00:11:32,660 Oh, oh, wait. 228 00:11:45,151 --> 00:11:47,457 [ rock music playing ] 229 00:11:52,549 --> 00:11:55,248 JETHRO: So, I've got something that I'd like to say. 230 00:11:55,378 --> 00:11:58,730 It's been a long, and, at times, trying day. 231 00:11:58,860 --> 00:12:00,644 But I think everybody dug deep, 232 00:12:00,775 --> 00:12:02,255 into their well of life experience, 233 00:12:02,385 --> 00:12:03,865 and really delivered the goods. 234 00:12:03,996 --> 00:12:06,302 -So cheers to us actors! -ALL: Cheers! 235 00:12:06,433 --> 00:12:09,610 And congratulations everyone, on a truly amazing day 236 00:12:09,741 --> 00:12:12,265 of creativity and collaboration. 237 00:12:12,395 --> 00:12:15,442 -KAI: To Sluts!-ALL: To Sluts! 238 00:12:17,357 --> 00:12:19,011 You OK? 239 00:12:19,141 --> 00:12:20,012 Whatever. 240 00:12:26,235 --> 00:12:28,542 Oh, shit. 241 00:12:28,672 --> 00:12:31,763 My agent called. I've been trying to get her on the phone all week. 242 00:12:31,893 --> 00:12:33,460 Don't--don't leave me with these people. 243 00:12:38,073 --> 00:12:40,989 Hi, yeah, um, is Velma there? 244 00:12:41,120 --> 00:12:44,645 Uh, she just called me, I'm returning her call. It's Carly Carlson. 245 00:12:44,776 --> 00:12:46,125 Yeah, I can hold. 246 00:12:49,128 --> 00:12:51,260 -VELMA: Hello?-Hey, Velma, it's Carly. 247 00:12:51,391 --> 00:12:52,522 VELMA: Who? 248 00:12:52,653 --> 00:12:54,698 Carly Carlson. 249 00:12:54,829 --> 00:12:56,091 You just called me like an hour ago. 250 00:12:56,222 --> 00:12:58,180 Oh, right. 251 00:12:58,311 --> 00:13:02,141 So, uh, uh, did you get any feedback on my audition last week? 252 00:13:02,271 --> 00:13:03,882 That's not the reason why I called. 253 00:13:04,012 --> 00:13:06,493 Oh, OK. Um... 254 00:13:06,623 --> 00:13:10,192 I just, I actually just finished a, a pretty amazing shoot, by the way. 255 00:13:10,323 --> 00:13:12,020 Oh, really? On what? 256 00:13:12,151 --> 00:13:14,066 Well, I told you, I'm making my own web series. 257 00:13:14,196 --> 00:13:15,894 Oh, yeah... 258 00:13:16,024 --> 00:13:17,765 Anyway, I'm sorry, Carly, 259 00:13:17,896 --> 00:13:19,636 but I think this relationship has run its course. 260 00:13:19,767 --> 00:13:22,074 Um... what? 261 00:13:22,204 --> 00:13:24,816 I just think you'd be better served elsewhere. 262 00:13:26,905 --> 00:13:29,690 -But I, I, I thought that-- -VELMA: Oh, fuck! 263 00:13:29,821 --> 00:13:30,778 What? 264 00:13:30,909 --> 00:13:32,432 I just got outbid on eBay. 265 00:13:32,562 --> 00:13:34,913 Fucking Russian bid bots! 266 00:13:35,043 --> 00:13:37,524 I gotta go, best of luck with your endeavors, Carla. 267 00:13:42,355 --> 00:13:46,533 -[ rock music playing ] -[ party chatter ] 268 00:13:53,105 --> 00:13:57,196 All right, I'm gonna head over to the Float Lab and hit the sensory deprivation tank. 269 00:13:57,326 --> 00:13:58,719 If anyone wants to join me. 270 00:13:58,850 --> 00:14:00,852 Man, I would love to, Jethro, 271 00:14:00,982 --> 00:14:03,419 but unfortunately I have to pass. 272 00:14:03,550 --> 00:14:06,379 Gotta go home and prep for my big audition tomorrow morning. 273 00:14:06,509 --> 00:14:08,381 -EMILY: What? -MAGENTA: Hey, what's that? 274 00:14:08,511 --> 00:14:09,643 What are you auditioning for? 275 00:14:09,773 --> 00:14:12,124 I have no idea. 276 00:14:12,254 --> 00:14:15,518 My manager, Teddy, told me the project is so huge, it's shrouded in secrecy. 277 00:14:15,649 --> 00:14:18,130 Like, there's no sides, or anything. 278 00:14:18,260 --> 00:14:21,089 I just have this random Hamlet soliloquy to audition with. 279 00:14:21,220 --> 00:14:22,308 [ Kai and Magenta laugh ] 280 00:14:22,438 --> 00:14:24,963 That's, that's cool, bro, that's really cool. 281 00:14:25,093 --> 00:14:28,096 I mean, luckily for me, Shakespeare is my jam, so...[ laughs ] 282 00:14:30,446 --> 00:14:32,622 -MAGENTA: Well, good luck.-Holy shit! 283 00:14:32,753 --> 00:14:36,322 Dude, you must be emanating some crazy powerful vibes, right now. 284 00:14:36,452 --> 00:14:40,195 Because my manager, Humberto, just texted me. 285 00:14:40,326 --> 00:14:43,503 I just landed a role in a brand new 286 00:14:43,633 --> 00:14:46,332 premium cable miniseries, starring none other than... 287 00:14:47,507 --> 00:14:49,204 Benedict Cumberbatch! 288 00:14:49,335 --> 00:14:52,164 What the fuck are you talking about? 289 00:14:52,294 --> 00:14:55,994 Me and Ben! Old mate, Benny! We shared this really intense scene in the opening episode. 290 00:14:56,124 --> 00:14:59,345 He plays a mortician in the 1930s. 291 00:14:59,475 --> 00:15:04,045 And he walks in, and turns on the lights, and then bam! 292 00:15:04,176 --> 00:15:07,440 There...I...am. 293 00:15:07,570 --> 00:15:10,312 Lying...on the table. 294 00:15:10,878 --> 00:15:12,706 And then... 295 00:15:12,836 --> 00:15:14,926 the dude fucking embalms me! 296 00:15:19,452 --> 00:15:23,021 [ song fades out ] 297 00:15:23,151 --> 00:15:26,589 [ dog barking in distance ] 298 00:15:31,943 --> 00:15:33,161 [ sad music playing ] 299 00:15:33,292 --> 00:15:35,424 Argh! 300 00:15:35,555 --> 00:15:39,341 So, I guess the AC still isn't working? 301 00:15:39,472 --> 00:15:41,082 Hey. 302 00:15:45,130 --> 00:15:47,219 Are you... 303 00:15:47,349 --> 00:15:48,916 Are you drunk? 304 00:15:49,047 --> 00:15:50,265 Not really. 305 00:15:52,006 --> 00:15:53,486 Maybe a little. 306 00:15:53,616 --> 00:15:55,923 -But you hardly ever. -It was hot, and... 307 00:15:58,012 --> 00:15:59,927 I was sad. 308 00:16:00,058 --> 00:16:01,015 Ugh. 309 00:16:01,146 --> 00:16:03,409 What's wrong, man? 310 00:16:06,412 --> 00:16:10,459 Do you think Severine loves me as much as I love her? 311 00:16:10,590 --> 00:16:13,245 I think Sev does love you. 312 00:16:13,375 --> 00:16:17,075 She just maybe expresses it differently than you do. 313 00:16:17,205 --> 00:16:19,338 Yeah, maybe. 314 00:16:19,468 --> 00:16:22,950 It's just, we've been arguing a lot lately, and... 315 00:16:23,081 --> 00:16:25,866 it seems like she barely has time for me anymore. 316 00:16:25,997 --> 00:16:28,782 You know, relationships sometimes, 317 00:16:28,912 --> 00:16:30,088 they go through growing pains. 318 00:16:32,046 --> 00:16:33,830 Yeah, I guess. 319 00:16:37,486 --> 00:16:40,707 So, what are you, uh, what are you looking at? 320 00:16:40,837 --> 00:16:44,493 Pics from that photo shoot I did with that director guy, Otto. 321 00:16:46,539 --> 00:16:49,020 I don't, I don't know. What do you think? 322 00:16:52,719 --> 00:16:56,027 [ Ford sighs ] Are they too gay looking? I can't tell. 323 00:16:56,157 --> 00:16:58,290 I just, I need your expert opinion. 324 00:17:00,031 --> 00:17:02,250 Umm. 325 00:17:02,381 --> 00:17:04,383 Come on, be honest. 326 00:17:06,994 --> 00:17:08,256 Ford, you, um, 327 00:17:08,387 --> 00:17:11,042 you didn't show your dick, 328 00:17:11,172 --> 00:17:12,956 or anything, in any of these, did you? 329 00:17:13,087 --> 00:17:15,089 What? No! 330 00:17:16,438 --> 00:17:18,049 I don't think so, at least. 331 00:17:19,354 --> 00:17:21,052 Look, uh, Ford. 332 00:17:21,182 --> 00:17:24,490 I, I know that you really like Barnabas, 333 00:17:24,620 --> 00:17:27,188 and going to all the premieres, and the parties and stuff, 334 00:17:27,319 --> 00:17:28,450 that you think is gonna help your career. 335 00:17:28,581 --> 00:17:31,758 But just... watch out. OK? 336 00:17:33,499 --> 00:17:35,675 What are you trying to say? 337 00:17:35,805 --> 00:17:38,330 I'm just saying that there are people out there, who 338 00:17:38,460 --> 00:17:40,984 might not have the best intentions. 339 00:17:41,681 --> 00:17:44,031 And by "people," you mean Barnabas? 340 00:17:44,162 --> 00:17:46,686 And apparently this Otto dude. 341 00:17:46,816 --> 00:17:49,210 Look, you asked for my opinion, Ford, and I'm telling you, 342 00:17:49,341 --> 00:17:51,473 these pics are, are insane! 343 00:17:51,604 --> 00:17:53,519 They're borderline porn, and this stuff, 344 00:17:53,649 --> 00:17:55,347 it lives on the internet forever. 345 00:17:55,477 --> 00:17:57,479 Wait, what are you, what are you talking about? 346 00:17:57,610 --> 00:17:59,177 They're, they're just pictures! 347 00:17:59,307 --> 00:18:00,656 And when you're starting out, like I am, 348 00:18:00,787 --> 00:18:03,311 -you have to pay your dues.-Wait, by doing gay porn? 349 00:18:03,442 --> 00:18:06,009 They're, they're not fucking porn! They're artistic! 350 00:18:06,140 --> 00:18:07,054 All right! 351 00:18:08,577 --> 00:18:12,407 OK, I just... Just please be careful. 352 00:18:12,538 --> 00:18:15,410 I get really, really bad vibes 353 00:18:15,541 --> 00:18:18,283 off of Barnabas. And I wasn't gonna tell you this before, 354 00:18:18,413 --> 00:18:20,111 -but... -But what? 355 00:18:20,241 --> 00:18:23,244 When I walked in on you and him, 356 00:18:23,375 --> 00:18:27,074 in Palm Springs, he had you on the bed, and you were half undressed. 357 00:18:27,205 --> 00:18:29,946 Oh my God! He was taking care of me! 358 00:18:30,077 --> 00:18:32,123 Stop being so paranoid! 359 00:18:32,253 --> 00:18:34,212 You just don't get it, Uly, you never have! 360 00:18:34,342 --> 00:18:37,128 Things, they, they, like, they work a certain way in this town! 361 00:18:37,258 --> 00:18:39,217 -Oh, ho-ho, apparently! -Yeah. 362 00:18:39,347 --> 00:18:42,220 What is that supposed to mean? 363 00:18:42,350 --> 00:18:44,787 Was that some kinda joke? 364 00:18:44,918 --> 00:18:46,180 You know, you, you think you're so... 365 00:18:46,311 --> 00:18:48,095 smart, and above it all. 366 00:18:48,226 --> 00:18:50,184 But sometimes you can be so naive. 367 00:18:50,315 --> 00:18:53,187 [ laughs ] Really? 368 00:18:53,318 --> 00:18:54,971 You're calling menaive? 369 00:18:56,538 --> 00:18:58,279 Fuck you, Uly! 370 00:18:58,410 --> 00:18:59,541 You're just jealous because I'm going somewhere 371 00:18:59,672 --> 00:19:00,890 and you're not! 372 00:19:08,507 --> 00:19:09,377 CARLY: Fucking shit! 373 00:19:21,259 --> 00:19:22,216 [ exasperated sigh ] 374 00:19:24,479 --> 00:19:27,003 ♪ Destroy everything you touch today ♪ 375 00:19:27,134 --> 00:19:29,136 Why?! Oh, my fucking... 376 00:19:29,267 --> 00:19:32,400 -God! -♪ Destroy me this way 377 00:19:32,531 --> 00:19:36,361 Oh my... Fuck! I'm gonna fucking kill myself! 378 00:19:36,491 --> 00:19:39,102 ♪ So it cannot hurt you 379 00:19:39,233 --> 00:19:40,452 Hey, Ford? 380 00:19:40,582 --> 00:19:42,323 FORD: Go Away! 381 00:19:42,454 --> 00:19:45,021 ♪ You only have to look behind you ♪ 382 00:19:45,152 --> 00:19:48,155 ♪ At who's underlined you 383 00:19:48,286 --> 00:19:52,507 ♪ Destroy everything you touch today ♪ 384 00:19:52,638 --> 00:19:56,294 ♪ Destory me this way 385 00:19:56,424 --> 00:19:59,949 ♪ Everything you touch you don't feel ♪ 386 00:20:00,080 --> 00:20:01,516 EMILY: Are you OK? 387 00:20:03,475 --> 00:20:04,867 My vibrator is out of batteries, 388 00:20:04,998 --> 00:20:07,305 and I just bought a fucking family pack! 389 00:20:07,435 --> 00:20:09,568 Vibrators come in family packs? 390 00:20:09,698 --> 00:20:12,266 ♪ Walks you out of the sun 391 00:20:12,397 --> 00:20:16,096 ♪ What you touch, you don't feel ♪ 392 00:20:16,227 --> 00:20:19,926 ♪ Do not know what you steal 393 00:20:20,056 --> 00:20:24,713 ♪ Destroy everything you touch today ♪ 394 00:20:24,844 --> 00:20:27,455 -♪ Please destroy me this way - [ song fades out ] 395 00:20:27,586 --> 00:20:29,675 [ phone ringing ] 396 00:20:37,378 --> 00:20:39,206 Oh, fuck. 397 00:20:44,167 --> 00:20:46,518 Hey. Hey. Bob, what's up? 398 00:20:46,648 --> 00:20:49,738 No, no. Tonight's my night off. 399 00:20:49,869 --> 00:20:53,829 Huh? No. I'm not... 400 00:20:53,960 --> 00:20:56,179 I'm not feeling so hot myself. 401 00:21:00,271 --> 00:21:01,620 [ sighs ] 402 00:21:03,186 --> 00:21:05,101 Yeah, all right. Whatever. 403 00:21:05,232 --> 00:21:07,626 [ sighs ] 404 00:21:07,756 --> 00:21:09,236 Bye. 405 00:21:21,596 --> 00:21:23,381 The fuck? 406 00:21:23,511 --> 00:21:25,165 [ knocking ] 407 00:21:25,296 --> 00:21:26,688 Come in! 408 00:21:29,604 --> 00:21:31,432 Whoa! 409 00:21:31,563 --> 00:21:34,174 You look like a hot lady from the past. 410 00:21:35,175 --> 00:21:36,481 Where have you been? 411 00:21:36,611 --> 00:21:39,005 What are you talking about? I came right over. 412 00:21:40,963 --> 00:21:43,357 You didn't finish your homework. 413 00:21:45,925 --> 00:21:48,536 Yeah. Sorry about that. 414 00:21:48,667 --> 00:21:50,756 Sit down. 415 00:21:53,889 --> 00:21:56,457 Why did you think... 416 00:21:56,588 --> 00:22:00,374 that it was OK for you to go out and play before finishing your homework? 417 00:22:00,505 --> 00:22:02,158 I, uh... 418 00:22:03,638 --> 00:22:05,031 I don't know. 419 00:22:06,598 --> 00:22:09,427 Do you know what happens to bad little boys in this house? 420 00:22:11,342 --> 00:22:12,865 -They get spanked? -That's right. 421 00:22:12,995 --> 00:22:15,737 They get spanked. 422 00:22:15,868 --> 00:22:17,348 Hand me that ruler. 423 00:22:30,361 --> 00:22:33,407 What do you think... 424 00:22:33,538 --> 00:22:36,802 Daddy would say, if he found out about this? 425 00:22:36,932 --> 00:22:39,326 -Ooh, please don't tell Daddy.-[ slapping noise ] 426 00:22:39,457 --> 00:22:40,675 Ahh. 427 00:22:40,806 --> 00:22:42,460 But you leave me no choice. 428 00:22:42,590 --> 00:22:44,375 Don't tell him, please. I'll do anything. 429 00:22:44,505 --> 00:22:47,639 -[ slap ]-Then why didn't you finish your homework? 430 00:22:47,769 --> 00:22:50,729 -Hmm? [ slap ] Why don't you ever do...-[ moans ] 431 00:22:50,859 --> 00:22:52,818 what Mommy tells you to do? 432 00:22:52,948 --> 00:22:55,560 Why do you always have to open your big fucking mouth 433 00:22:55,690 --> 00:22:58,780 and say annoying shit that makes me want to strangle you 434 00:22:58,911 --> 00:23:01,566 -[ slap ] with an electric cord?!-Oh! 435 00:23:01,696 --> 00:23:03,698 -[ slap ] -You never do your homework! 436 00:23:03,829 --> 00:23:06,440 -[ slap ] -You constantly make excuses for yourself. 437 00:23:06,571 --> 00:23:09,051 [ slap ] And then you wonder why you'll never amount to anything. 438 00:23:09,182 --> 00:23:12,011 You need to get your fucking shit together. What, you wanna end up 439 00:23:12,141 --> 00:23:13,578 -[ slapping intensifies ] -back at Carney's waiting tables 440 00:23:13,708 --> 00:23:15,536 -or some fucking shit?! -[ moaning ] 441 00:23:15,667 --> 00:23:16,624 Wait, wait, wait, didn't you work at Carney's? 442 00:23:16,755 --> 00:23:18,321 -Shut up! -[ slap ] 443 00:23:18,452 --> 00:23:19,758 You need to stop being such a stupid,[ slap ] 444 00:23:19,888 --> 00:23:21,368 -annoying, [ slap ] shithead! [ slap ]-[ gasps ] 445 00:23:21,499 --> 00:23:22,761 Shut up and listen to Mommy! 446 00:23:22,891 --> 00:23:24,545 [ intense, punctuated slapping ] 447 00:23:24,676 --> 00:23:27,766 And you need to do your goddamn, motherfucking homework! 448 00:23:27,896 --> 00:23:30,116 [ both panting ] 449 00:23:32,423 --> 00:23:33,554 Fuck. 450 00:23:43,956 --> 00:23:46,132 Are you OK, Mommy? 451 00:23:46,262 --> 00:23:47,612 Yes. 452 00:23:47,742 --> 00:23:49,744 Mommy's OK. 453 00:23:49,875 --> 00:23:53,400 I won't tell Daddy how bad you've been. 454 00:23:53,531 --> 00:23:56,098 But as punishment... 455 00:23:56,229 --> 00:23:59,711 You're gonna have to make Mommy come, OK? 456 00:23:59,841 --> 00:24:00,842 Yes, Mommy. 457 00:24:03,889 --> 00:24:06,674 Like this? 458 00:24:06,805 --> 00:24:09,547 -[ sighing ] -Yes, baby, just like that. 459 00:24:10,852 --> 00:24:13,464 Oh, good job, sweetheart. 460 00:24:13,594 --> 00:24:17,163 Fuck, that feels so good, oh my God. Oh yes! 461 00:24:18,556 --> 00:24:20,340 Yes, that's what Mommy likes! 462 00:24:24,605 --> 00:24:26,346 I was just... 463 00:24:34,441 --> 00:24:35,573 Get back to work, little boy. 464 00:24:35,703 --> 00:24:37,662 Yes, yes Mommy. Am I doing good? 465 00:24:37,792 --> 00:24:40,882 Ah, yes, you're doing so good. 466 00:24:41,013 --> 00:24:43,363 Oh, Mommy loves it. 467 00:24:43,494 --> 00:24:46,671 Oh, fuck! Oh, that feels so good! 468 00:24:46,801 --> 00:24:48,934 Oh, fuck! Mommy's gonna come! 469 00:24:49,064 --> 00:24:51,545 Oh my god! Fuck! 470 00:24:51,676 --> 00:24:56,419 Oh! Oh, Mommy's coming! Fuck! Oh! 471 00:25:59,787 --> 00:26:01,789 [ panting ] 472 00:26:05,140 --> 00:26:07,273 [ panting harder ] 473 00:26:08,666 --> 00:26:10,842 [ moaning ] 474 00:26:24,029 --> 00:26:26,161 ULYSSES: What the fuck is happening? 475 00:26:26,292 --> 00:26:28,903 I posted a thread about the lightning bolt hieroglyph. 476 00:26:29,034 --> 00:26:30,949 You know, the one from my dream? 477 00:26:31,079 --> 00:26:34,256 The one that Gabriel has tattooed on his arm. And it's gone. 478 00:26:34,387 --> 00:26:37,520 U. The moderator probably just deleted it, 479 00:26:37,651 --> 00:26:39,827 'cause it made no fucking sense. 480 00:26:39,958 --> 00:26:41,829 Are you doing something right now? 'Cause it, 481 00:26:41,960 --> 00:26:43,396 it seems like you're not paying attention. 482 00:26:43,526 --> 00:26:45,093 Yeah. Sorry, I'm, uh, 483 00:26:45,224 --> 00:26:47,008 I'm just editing the footage that we shot today. 484 00:26:47,139 --> 00:26:49,054 ULYSSES: Really, you are? How's it going? 485 00:26:49,184 --> 00:26:51,143 Shockingly well. 486 00:26:51,273 --> 00:26:53,058 It actually looks kinda good. 487 00:26:53,188 --> 00:26:55,756 Really? Cool. 488 00:26:55,887 --> 00:26:57,802 CARLY: So, dude, seriously, you should 489 00:26:57,932 --> 00:27:00,587 maybe consider laying off the weed for a bit. 490 00:27:00,718 --> 00:27:03,721 You are seething with existential paranoia as it is. 491 00:27:03,851 --> 00:27:06,201 OK. Thanks, Mom. 492 00:27:06,332 --> 00:27:08,769 I don't mean to nag, just think about it, OK? 493 00:27:08,900 --> 00:27:10,945 Yeah, all right, well, I, I gotta... 494 00:27:11,076 --> 00:27:13,121 finish my rounds. Talk to you later? 495 00:27:13,252 --> 00:27:14,601 CARLY: Love you! 496 00:27:14,732 --> 00:27:16,821 Bye. 497 00:27:18,257 --> 00:27:19,606 [ phone beeps ] 498 00:27:32,140 --> 00:27:34,099 ULYSSES: Hey! 499 00:27:34,229 --> 00:27:36,492 You're not supposed to be here! 500 00:27:37,842 --> 00:27:39,060 Wait! 501 00:27:59,602 --> 00:28:01,039 Hey! 502 00:28:01,169 --> 00:28:03,606 Stop! 503 00:28:03,737 --> 00:28:04,695 Come back! [ metal clangs ] 504 00:28:10,178 --> 00:28:12,485 Aah, oh...no. 505 00:28:18,143 --> 00:28:19,971 Aaah! 506 00:28:20,101 --> 00:28:23,191 ♪ Everything you touch you don't feel ♪ 507 00:28:23,322 --> 00:28:26,934 ♪ Do not know what you steal ♪ 508 00:28:27,065 --> 00:28:31,765 ♪ Destroy everything you touch today ♪ 509 00:28:31,896 --> 00:28:35,638 ♪ Please destroy me this way ♪ 37165

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