Original subtitles

The red sunset disappears like memories,

But of memories I have none.

Pervert!

Je t'aime. (I love you.)

Je t'aime, je t'aime. (I love you, I love you.)

With no one to hear my words of love,

Only the popcorn can I kiss.

Pervert!

A woman's handwriting all right.

I'd rather pass since it's a female,

but we haven't had enough work of late for me to be so picky.

To work, to work.

Your trouble is, for some reason, you always attract perverts?

Yes.

Call that a problem?

There are some women in this world who even perverts ignore.

Right, Kaori?

What are you trying to say?

I just know I've seen this girl somewhere.

Tell me, in what manner did these perverts touch you?

Like this perhaps? Or was it more like this?

Uh-oh! Don't go moving now.

Verifying the MO of the perverts is also an important job.

What are you calling a job?!

Please, be honest with me.

Sure!

Is it...

Is it the look on my face, do you think?

Is that the reason I attract perverts?

I've never once had a relationship. My love is always one-sided.

Just once I'd like to love and be loved,

to experience a passionate love.

Leave it to me! I will be your lover.

No, I can't feel that way toward a younger man, not at all.

My ideal is...

Gray-haired old man who totters along on his cane,

Seeing his shy smile makes my heart go pitter-patter.

Is this a father complex?

Nope, more like a grandpa complex.

A dream of love, a dream of love within a dream of love,

The structure of love, like the rings of a tree.

A tanka?

I know! Utako Yumeno!

You're the one who wrote Tomato Carnival, right?!

Yes!

Tomato Carnival? What the heck's that?

You don't know?

It's a collection of love tanka

that's been on the bestseller list for half a year now.

But I'm surprised,

someone who writes love poetry like you never having a relationship.

My poetry comes from my imagination.

I was raised in an orphanage never knowing my mother or father.

I always stayed to myself, living in my dream world.

All of my poems come from my dreams.

Mercy, please!

You said you were top-notch perverts! You useless idiots!

Please forgive us, Boss!

Boss, the poetry circle is ready.

Still, being harassed by perverts on successive nights is strange.

Might be something going on after all.

Any ideas at all?

No, none.

Catch a pervert in the act, and make him talk.

Best thing to do in this kind of case.

Now, begin!

Yes! I'll go first!

As I cried, "Forgive me, O mother!"

I slashed a man to face winter's cold, chipped blade.

Next!

Yes!

But...

Crimson is the tattoo on my back sprayed with blood,

Oh, come soon, O New Year's Day.

Next!

Allow me to go next.

On a beach of white sand on a small island in the Tokai,

I got my finger cut, playing with a crab.

Idiots!

Is that the best you idiots can do?!

Can't you come up with something more romantic

that'll appeal to a women's heart?!

Come on! We're just simple Yakuza!

Are you talking back to me?! Idiots! I'll kill you!

Settle down, Boss! Are you talking back to me?! Idiots! I'll kill you!

Are you talking back to me?! Idiots! I'll kill you!

Wait, Kameda.

You're Sukekomashino Sabu!

A lovers' tryst is but a fleeting thing,

Oh, to you our thanks, O nightly mist.

Yes, well done.

It speaks to the subtle psychology of love

while at the same time leaving one with a familiar feeling

as if one had heard it somewhere before.

Well done.

Leave it to me, Boss.

The women I have loved number greater than the stars in the sky,

greater than the petals on all of the flowers in the world.

Oh, excellent, such romantic expressions.

You called me, Sir?

Has any progress been made?

How long must I wait?

Yes, Sir! It will not be much longer.

If things go well, it may be resolved today.

At my age, one day feels like one year.

I grow impatient.

Understood!

It's been almost an hour.

I wonder if a pervert's really going to show up?

You dummy, dummy, dummy!

Don't you go falling asleep!

I'm choking!

A handsome man!

Upon seeing your beauty, O Aphrodite,

The roses themselves shed their petals in shame.

What's he doing? Doesn't look like a pervert.

A magician?

That was a waste. They were so pretty.

The roses were merely overcome by your beauty.

Get lost.

Please wait!

How difficult it is to express my feelings,

Perhaps doing this will gain me your attention!

Doves!

Sorry, couldn't help it.

You are beautiful, I say this with ease,

For you are truly beautiful.

During a bad movie, I leave my seat,

As easily as I ignore the man before me.

I'm impressed! That's one on me!

This fellow here is beaten, beaten.

So, to show my appreciation of your skill, allow me to buy you a drink.

Well...

Look at him!

Let's go, Ryo!

Ryo!

Where is he?

Where'd he go? Man! Ryo!

Ryo!

Good! That's it! Just a little more!

You idiot! Getting excited instead of doing your job!

Thanks to you we've lost them!

I'm impressed! That's one on me!

Ryo here is beaten, beaten!

Well...

I really shouldn't. Please let me go.

I can't do that.

You are my gravitational force.

Just as the Moon is drawn by the Earth,

I will never part from you until death.

Here's to our meeting, your poetry,

and all the dreams and stars in the world.

I can't drink. When I drink, I pass out.

This should be easy then. As soon as she passes out, I'll...

Okay, how about this?

I'll leave you alone for today, if you'll have just one drink with me.

One drink, then?

Cheers!

What's wrong?

It's not poisoned, you know.

I've done it.

All right?

Get me another.

Don't gawk, just get me another!

You got some problem with that?!

No, I mean...

You're cute when you're drunk.

I'm against violence! Down with nuclear weapons!

Shut up! As for me, I want to put an end to perverts!

Wait, I beg you!

End of conversation!

Hey, are you all right?

I'm okay.

Didn't you hear me ask for a drink?! You're not going anywhere!

Are you okay? I'm sorry!

Hey! You're the hunk who ran off with Utako!

Hey, Kaori! Something's wrong with Utako!

I'm the bullet train!

Now watch me change!

What the heck did you do to Utako?!

She got like that after drinking just one cocktail!

After one cocktail?!

She goes crazy when she drinks?

Goes crazy and has a grandpa complex.

I'm Ultra-man!

What a mess!

Kaori, you take care of Utako!

Not so fast! I have some questions for you!

I'm against violence!

I'm against violence! Why get close to Utako? What was your purpose?

Why get close to Utako? What was your purpose?

I'll tell you. I'll tell you, so let go!

All right.

I was just trying to see if she had the moles on her body

like I was told to do.

Moles?

Utako!

Utako! Utako!

Shut up!

Kaori, how in the world did I get here?

I'm glad you're back to your old self.

The one in front is her, no mistakes this time.

Understood!

Sorry for losing you in the park. Are you okay?

Her!

Kaori!

Utako!

Hey, let me go, you oaf!

Let's go!

Wait!

Ryo! Ryo, Utako's been kidnapped!

Help me!

Okay, take me to your boss.

What could it be? What's all the noise?

Who are you?!

There's someone you've been causing a lot of trouble.

Utako...

She hired me as her bodyguard.

Miss Utako Yumeno!

I want to hear it, all of it.

This may take a while, so why not have a drink as you listen?

Maybe not a good idea for you, Utako.

How about some chocolate instead?

I think Utako will have a piece of chocolate instead.

Yes, help yourself!

Thank you.

It's been many years since it happened,

since the Master's only daughter, Shiori, passed away.

One time, after having a argument with him over some trivial matter,

Shiori took her newborn daughter and husband and left the house.

Immediately thereafter, they were involved in a most tragic accident.

Their bus rolled over. Shiori and her husband were killed.

The baby's whereabouts were unknown.

Recently, however, the Master saw Utako's photo in a magazine,

and became convinced that Utako is his daughter's child,

his granddaughter.

I see, and that's where the moles come in?

Yes, on his missing granddaughter's chest,

there is a birthmark that closely resembles the family crest.

That is the family crest I speak of.

It was to see if there were three moles

arranged in the shape of a triangle on the upper left side of her chest

that we tried to get close to Utako.

It can't be...

Those are whisky bonbons!

I've been a lonely orphan since I was born. Got a problem with that?

No, we mean...

And you with your big stories, you octopus head!

Octopus?

See? See?

Staring contest!

What a mess, what a mess.

We can't check for moles on her chest with her like that.

I know a way we can get that sweater right off of her.

No funny stuff though!

It's a traditional game people have long enjoyed. Just leave it to me.

Hi there! Utako, let's play rock, paper, scissors baseball.

If you lose, you take clothes off.

Let's do it! Let's do it!!

Rock, paper, scissors baseball?

I see, not a bad idea at that.

You hit it like this

Like this!

And if he hits the ball

Hits it!

You catch it like this

You catch it like this What's that noise?

Right!

Out! Safe! One, two, three...

I lost again!

I lost again! I win! I win!

I win! I win!

Kameda! Is there no one about?

When you play baseball Kameda! Is there no one about?

When you play baseball

Play!

You do it like this

You do it like this Kameda!

Like this! Kameda!

Like this!

And if he throws the ball

Throw it!

You hit it like this

Like this!

And if he hits the ball

And if he hits the ball Boss!

You catch it like this What are you men doing?

Yes, Sir. They had us leave the room.

Out! Safe! One, two, three... Yes, Sir. They had us leave the room.

Out! Safe! One, two, three... What?

Out! Safe! One, two, three...

One, two, three!

Yikes, I lose! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! I win! I win!

Take it off! Take it off! Take it off!

What's this? You're not man enough to take it off?!

Take it off! Take it off!

Take it off! Take it off! Give me a break on this one.

Give me a break on this one.

Take it off! Take it off!

Take it off! Take it off! Okay?

Okay, I'll take it off instead. I'm hot, so hot.

What's going on here?

What's this?!

Hi! There!

This girl is...

The moles!

The moles!

She has them!

Great! She has them!

Great!

She's coming around!

What?

It's you, I'm sure.

Utako, I'm your grandfather.

I'm your grandfather!

My grandfather? How can that be?

Your moles prove it without a doubt. You're my granddaughter, Utako.

I... I don't know, all of a sudden claiming to be my grandfather.

Our investigation has been thorough.

The moles on your chest were the last proof we needed.

There is no doubt whatsoever that you are his granddaughter, Utako.

I'm certain.

And they lived happily ever after.

Right.

So, you're getting along well together. That's great.

Yes, and what's more, I've gotten over it.

My grandpa complex.

I'm glad you're over it.

I'm sure your yearning for the love of a parent's been satisfied.

So, are you experiencing that passionate love you wanted?

No, but I have someone I like, and he's nice and young.

What's he like?

He's no good at rock, paper, scissors.

Saeba, these are the first cookies I've ever baked in my life.

I really want you to try them, Saeba!

Let's see here.

Very tasty! Good flavor!

"They taste good," is what he said,

So February first is our cookie anniversary.

Who is she?

That's Hisako!

So that's why you've been going to get your hair cut everyday!

Thing is, she seems to have disappeared.

Her brothers say she's been kidnapped

in connection with all that money they found.

Why didn't you tell me sooner? This is a job for City Hunter!

Her brothers said something about not wanting the help

of some mokkori maniac guy like you.

What's wrong with those kids?

Don't miss it!