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1
00:00:02,269 --> 00:00:06,138
[Laughing]
2
00:00:06,140 --> 00:00:07,940
What's so funny, dear?
3
00:00:07,942 --> 00:00:09,874
The Memaris got robbed.
4
00:00:09,876 --> 00:00:11,476
Huh, serves them right.
5
00:00:11,478 --> 00:00:14,879
I saw them bragging about their new
"smart TV" on Facebook.
6
00:00:14,881 --> 00:00:16,815
[Laughing] Not smart
enough to keep its owners
7
00:00:16,817 --> 00:00:19,684
from getting brutally pistol-whipped.
8
00:00:19,686 --> 00:00:23,221
[Laughs] But seriously,
ever since I just heard about
9
00:00:23,223 --> 00:00:25,089
the Memari incident,
I've been thinking about
10
00:00:25,091 --> 00:00:26,959
looking into a home security system.
11
00:00:26,961 --> 00:00:29,046
Oh, I don't know, Stan.
12
00:00:29,081 --> 00:00:31,664
We've already got that
stick in the sliding window.
13
00:00:33,233 --> 00:00:34,899
Plus, you're always packing.
14
00:00:34,901 --> 00:00:36,234
- True.
- [Gun cocks]
15
00:00:36,236 --> 00:00:37,269
Bam, bam, bam!
16
00:00:37,271 --> 00:00:40,104
But I shan't always be
around to keep you safe.
17
00:00:40,106 --> 00:00:42,174
[Gun fires]
18
00:00:42,176 --> 00:00:43,708
What is all the racket in here?
19
00:00:43,710 --> 00:00:45,577
Stick, no!
20
00:00:46,498 --> 00:00:48,447
Look, Stan, if it makes you feel better,
21
00:00:48,449 --> 00:00:52,184
I'll call TBD Security
Company for a consultation.
22
00:00:52,186 --> 00:00:54,186
Guess what? I've been accepted into
23
00:00:54,188 --> 00:00:56,254
a class at Groff Community College.
24
00:00:56,256 --> 00:00:59,413
They're letting me take
Introduction to Architecture.
25
00:00:59,448 --> 00:01:01,886
It's going to be...
What the hell happened to Stick?
26
00:01:01,921 --> 00:01:03,862
He's all messed up! I don't know.
27
00:01:03,864 --> 00:01:05,330
Klaus: Stick, I'm home.
28
00:01:05,332 --> 00:01:08,200
Oh, God. Klaus.
29
00:01:08,202 --> 00:01:10,935
Klaus, buddy,
we have to talk about Stick.
30
00:01:10,937 --> 00:01:12,270
Why? Where's Stick?
31
00:01:12,272 --> 00:01:14,339
- Klaus, I'm sorry.
- I don't want to talk to you.
32
00:01:14,341 --> 00:01:16,008
I want to talk to Stick!
33
00:01:16,010 --> 00:01:20,679
Where's Stick?! Where's Stick?!!
34
00:01:20,681 --> 00:01:22,214
[Both chuckle]
35
00:01:22,216 --> 00:01:24,883
♪♪
36
00:01:25,385 --> 00:01:28,119
♪ Good morning, U.S.A. ♪
37
00:01:28,121 --> 00:01:31,523
♪ I got a feelin'
that it's gonna be a wonderful day ♪
38
00:01:31,525 --> 00:01:34,726
♪ The sun in the sky has
a smile on his face ♪
39
00:01:34,728 --> 00:01:39,331
♪ And he's shinin'
a salute to the American race ♪
40
00:01:41,067 --> 00:01:44,402
♪ Oh, boy, it's swell to say ♪
41
00:01:44,404 --> 00:01:47,138
- ♪ Good... ♪
- ♪ Good morning, U.S.A. ♪
42
00:01:47,140 --> 00:01:48,173
Aah!
43
00:01:49,543 --> 00:01:52,644
♪ Good morning, U.S.A. ♪
44
00:01:53,547 --> 00:01:56,214
[Doorbell rings]
45
00:01:56,216 --> 00:01:58,616
Hi, I'm Vicky from TBD Security.
46
00:01:58,618 --> 00:02:00,618
There's a lady here!
47
00:02:00,954 --> 00:02:04,088
- Oh, hi. You must be...
- Vicky, from TBD Security.
48
00:02:04,090 --> 00:02:07,825
Oh, Vicky, hey. Stan.
I'm famous for my open mind,
49
00:02:07,827 --> 00:02:09,627
and we're excited to hear your proposal,
50
00:02:09,629 --> 00:02:11,029
but I have a sinking feeling
51
00:02:11,031 --> 00:02:12,764
it's going to be terribly inadequate.
52
00:02:12,766 --> 00:02:16,834
Vicky, I can already see that
this isn't going well for you.
53
00:02:16,836 --> 00:02:18,436
So you're telling me, with your system,
54
00:02:18,438 --> 00:02:20,905
a bad guy couldn't get to that window?
55
00:02:20,907 --> 00:02:23,908
The motion detectors will pick
up anything approaching the wall.
56
00:02:23,910 --> 00:02:25,843
Until you get within 10 inches, correct?
57
00:02:25,845 --> 00:02:28,380
- Yes, but...
- But what if, Vicky,
58
00:02:28,382 --> 00:02:30,181
they tunnel right up to the wall,
59
00:02:30,183 --> 00:02:32,784
pop up right here inside
that 10-inch pocket?
60
00:02:32,786 --> 00:02:34,186
You'd still have to climb up,
61
00:02:34,188 --> 00:02:36,721
never getting more than
10 inches from the wall.
62
00:02:36,723 --> 00:02:39,024
Like this?
63
00:02:46,332 --> 00:02:48,233
Like this?
64
00:02:55,609 --> 00:02:57,541
Like this?
65
00:02:57,543 --> 00:03:00,078
And now, it's just a matter
of coming in the window.
66
00:03:00,080 --> 00:03:02,214
It's a very small window, honey.
67
00:03:02,216 --> 00:03:03,748
Maybe it's better if you don't...
68
00:03:03,750 --> 00:03:06,418
Don't what? Dislocate my
shoulder so I can fit through?
69
00:03:06,420 --> 00:03:09,687
Like any half-decent
second-floor man would?
70
00:03:09,689 --> 00:03:11,489
[Grunts]
71
00:03:11,491 --> 00:03:12,957
Aaah!
72
00:03:12,959 --> 00:03:15,226
Like this?
73
00:03:15,228 --> 00:03:19,363
Now, to collect your jewels.
74
00:03:19,899 --> 00:03:21,699
I think your system will be plenty.
75
00:03:21,701 --> 00:03:26,071
Ha-ha, these treasury bonds are mine.
76
00:03:32,045 --> 00:03:35,313
Wow, first day of college.
Soak it in, Steve.
77
00:03:35,315 --> 00:03:37,648
You'll be boring people
with stories about this
78
00:03:37,650 --> 00:03:39,450
for the rest of your life.
79
00:03:39,452 --> 00:03:40,585
What's up?
80
00:03:40,587 --> 00:03:41,986
Wait, you're in this class?
81
00:03:41,988 --> 00:03:44,989
Uh, yeah. Looks that way.
82
00:03:44,991 --> 00:03:47,592
What's, um, class is this?
83
00:03:47,594 --> 00:03:49,127
How do you not know?
84
00:03:49,129 --> 00:03:51,930
I just keep signing up for
whatever is in this lecture hall.
85
00:03:51,932 --> 00:03:53,131
They ought to name it after me.
86
00:03:53,133 --> 00:03:55,133
[Chuckles] That's not
how it works, Hayley.
87
00:03:55,135 --> 00:03:58,403
They're not just going to
rename Denise Richards Hall.
88
00:03:58,405 --> 00:04:00,671
Ladies and gentlemen,
if you could take your seats.
89
00:04:00,673 --> 00:04:03,207
And start your engines, right, Hale?
90
00:04:03,209 --> 00:04:04,409
- Oh, she's asleep.
- [Snores]
91
00:04:04,411 --> 00:04:06,477
By the end of Architecture 101,
92
00:04:06,479 --> 00:04:10,148
you will all know the
answer to this question...
93
00:04:10,150 --> 00:04:12,984
Is a car a building?
94
00:04:15,822 --> 00:04:17,221
You don't need to worry, honey.
95
00:04:17,223 --> 00:04:19,758
The new security system
is more than enough.
96
00:04:19,760 --> 00:04:22,093
Just focus on your
work in San Francisco,
97
00:04:22,095 --> 00:04:23,628
and I'll see you in a couple of days.
98
00:04:23,630 --> 00:04:25,830
- Okay. You be safe.
- I will.
99
00:04:25,832 --> 00:04:28,767
I'm arming the alarm system right now.
100
00:04:28,769 --> 00:04:31,169
Everyone, I turned on the alarm!
101
00:04:31,171 --> 00:04:33,104
Don't leave your room!
102
00:04:33,106 --> 00:04:36,374
Roger: But I forgot my
mouth guard in the bathroom!
103
00:04:36,376 --> 00:04:37,442
[Beeping]
104
00:04:37,444 --> 00:04:38,577
Go get it quickly!
105
00:04:38,579 --> 00:04:41,112
[Door opens,
footsteps running, door slams]
106
00:04:41,114 --> 00:04:44,248
Well, got my mouth guard
stuck in my butt again.
107
00:04:44,250 --> 00:04:46,985
Just... Just go to bed!
108
00:04:49,656 --> 00:04:52,991
Did you know that the Sizzler
on Route 6 is a landmark?
109
00:04:52,993 --> 00:04:54,993
Frank Lloyd Wright designed it.
110
00:04:54,995 --> 00:04:57,728
Man, I'm going
to nail this test tomorrow.
111
00:04:57,730 --> 00:04:59,197
Hey, you're in college.
112
00:04:59,199 --> 00:05:00,799
You better be nailing something.
113
00:05:00,801 --> 00:05:04,803
Boom! Sounds like you're
starting to get over Stick.
114
00:05:05,938 --> 00:05:09,541
[Sobs]
115
00:05:18,485 --> 00:05:20,986
- [Creaking]
- What was that?
116
00:05:21,822 --> 00:05:24,623
[Creaking continues]
117
00:05:24,625 --> 00:05:27,092
Hello?
118
00:05:29,296 --> 00:05:30,495
[Dramatic chord strikes]
119
00:05:30,497 --> 00:05:32,163
[Screams]
120
00:05:32,165 --> 00:05:36,034
[Dramatic music plays]
121
00:05:36,036 --> 00:05:42,373
[Upbeat rock music plays]
122
00:05:42,375 --> 00:05:45,644
♪ I think I'll go for
a walk outside now ♪
123
00:05:45,646 --> 00:05:47,712
♪ The summer sun's calling my name ♪
124
00:05:47,714 --> 00:05:49,714
♪ I hear you now ♪
125
00:05:49,716 --> 00:05:52,450
[Screaming]
126
00:05:52,452 --> 00:05:54,385
Now, that's the fear I wanted
127
00:05:54,387 --> 00:05:56,988
when I was telling you we
needed a better security system.
128
00:05:56,990 --> 00:06:00,191
Oh, man. We got them but good.
129
00:06:00,193 --> 00:06:02,593
Did we ever! We got you so good.
130
00:06:02,595 --> 00:06:04,195
Had to teach you a lesson, babe.
131
00:06:04,197 --> 00:06:05,318
By the way, happy birthday.
132
00:06:05,366 --> 00:06:06,720
You probably thought I forgot.
133
00:06:06,733 --> 00:06:08,599
Two minutes till midnight.
134
00:06:08,601 --> 00:06:10,936
Swish, count it.
135
00:06:15,274 --> 00:06:17,675
Why?! Why would you do this?
136
00:06:17,677 --> 00:06:19,677
Why? What about how?
137
00:06:19,679 --> 00:06:23,280
How I appeared to be in San Francisco?
138
00:06:23,282 --> 00:06:26,083
Through the magic of posters.
139
00:06:26,085 --> 00:06:27,418
Hey, Joe Montana.
140
00:06:27,420 --> 00:06:30,288
Let's take a cable car
to Rice-A-Roni City.
141
00:06:31,224 --> 00:06:32,624
Now I'm back in Langley.
142
00:06:32,626 --> 00:06:34,892
I wonder if I'll ever see the Bay again.
143
00:06:34,894 --> 00:06:36,962
Of course I will.
144
00:06:36,964 --> 00:06:40,297
From Knob Hill to the Mission,
this city has got a pulse,
145
00:06:40,299 --> 00:06:42,634
and I'm proud to call it my home.
146
00:06:43,302 --> 00:06:45,703
- Dad is a psycho.
- Coit Tower shines
147
00:06:45,705 --> 00:06:48,506
like a beacon. [Laughs]
148
00:06:48,508 --> 00:06:51,242
- Mom, are you okay?
- I'm furious.
149
00:06:51,244 --> 00:06:52,978
- You should be.
- At myself.
150
00:06:52,980 --> 00:06:54,579
- [Both] What?!
- Yes!
151
00:06:54,581 --> 00:06:57,515
Your father warned me
we weren't going to be safe,
152
00:06:57,517 --> 00:07:00,385
and I was too doggone
stubborn to listen.
153
00:07:00,387 --> 00:07:01,987
Your mother is right.
154
00:07:01,989 --> 00:07:04,455
Stan, I want you to stop at nothing
155
00:07:04,457 --> 00:07:06,457
to make sure this house is safe.
156
00:07:06,459 --> 00:07:08,793
Of course, honey. Consider it done.
157
00:07:08,795 --> 00:07:11,396
- [Chainsaw motor whirring]
- Who's ready to die?!
158
00:07:11,398 --> 00:07:13,231
Shit, I'm late.
159
00:07:18,137 --> 00:07:22,073
94, a solid A-frame.
160
00:07:22,075 --> 00:07:24,075
Architecture joke,
you wouldn't understand.
161
00:07:24,077 --> 00:07:26,077
Heh, 69.
162
00:07:26,079 --> 00:07:27,412
That's a 96!
163
00:07:27,414 --> 00:07:30,282
96? That's butt to feet.
164
00:07:30,284 --> 00:07:31,349
Freaky-deaky.
165
00:07:31,351 --> 00:07:34,152
I work my little ass off
for everything I get,
166
00:07:34,154 --> 00:07:36,354
and you just show up and sail through?
167
00:07:36,356 --> 00:07:38,368
You remind me of my friend Nerfer.
168
00:07:38,403 --> 00:07:41,627
She's also a little
bitch about everything.
169
00:07:41,629 --> 00:07:43,428
Hayley's smart?
170
00:07:43,430 --> 00:07:45,163
She has a friend named Nerfer?
171
00:07:45,165 --> 00:07:48,033
I don't know how many more
bombshells I can take.
172
00:07:52,039 --> 00:07:54,906
Excuse me, I'm building
my own home security system.
173
00:07:54,908 --> 00:07:56,842
Where do you keep
your turrets for, like,
174
00:07:56,844 --> 00:07:58,109
a Browning 50-cal?
175
00:07:58,111 --> 00:08:01,647
Yeah, we don't carry
military-grade weaponry.
176
00:08:01,649 --> 00:08:04,449
Hmm, how about blow darts
and bear traps?
177
00:08:05,397 --> 00:08:06,985
Those are over by plumbing.
178
00:08:06,987 --> 00:08:08,253
Thanks.
179
00:08:12,059 --> 00:08:13,059
_
180
00:08:13,060 --> 00:08:14,192
Hmm.
181
00:08:14,194 --> 00:08:15,593
Are you joking me?
182
00:08:15,595 --> 00:08:17,663
No. Plumbing is full of crap.
183
00:08:17,665 --> 00:08:20,798
Plumbing, full of crap...
184
00:08:20,800 --> 00:08:22,668
You are making a joke.
185
00:08:22,670 --> 00:08:26,071
No, I'm not. I swear.
186
00:08:26,073 --> 00:08:28,140
I want to trust you,
but I've been burned before.
187
00:08:28,142 --> 00:08:29,807
How about I take you to aisle seven?
188
00:08:29,809 --> 00:08:31,609
Oh, that would be really helpful.
189
00:08:31,611 --> 00:08:33,278
This place is so hard to navigate.
190
00:08:33,280 --> 00:08:35,280
I'm John, by the way.
191
00:08:35,282 --> 00:08:39,351
[Whispering] And I'm the man
who turned you into a clown.
192
00:08:39,353 --> 00:08:41,620
No!
193
00:08:48,762 --> 00:08:50,161
[Laughs]
194
00:08:50,163 --> 00:08:54,299
You're the world's most perfect fool.
195
00:08:54,301 --> 00:08:55,834
[Drill whirring]
196
00:08:55,836 --> 00:08:57,635
Security system is all done.
197
00:08:58,647 --> 00:09:01,306
Look at this baby.
Could a clown have done this?
198
00:09:01,308 --> 00:09:03,108
Not that anybody has
ever called me a clown.
199
00:09:03,110 --> 00:09:05,177
People respect me wherever I go.
200
00:09:05,179 --> 00:09:08,514
Clown. [Laughs]
201
00:09:08,516 --> 00:09:09,981
I'm glad it's finished.
202
00:09:09,983 --> 00:09:12,317
I've had a hard time sleeping
since the home invasion.
203
00:09:12,319 --> 00:09:15,120
Ah, you mean
the eye-opening demonstration.
204
00:09:15,122 --> 00:09:16,922
Yes, there are a lot of things out there
205
00:09:16,924 --> 00:09:19,057
that can hurt you,
but now they can't get in.
206
00:09:19,059 --> 00:09:22,127
- [Beep]
- Randomized laser grid.
207
00:09:22,129 --> 00:09:25,197
Turret-mounted rail gun on the roof,
208
00:09:25,199 --> 00:09:27,599
and an oh-so-delicious cheeseburger
209
00:09:27,601 --> 00:09:30,936
dangling on the edge of an
industrial-grade wood chipper.
210
00:09:30,938 --> 00:09:34,472
That will turn any meat-loving
home invader into mulch,
211
00:09:34,474 --> 00:09:37,875
and controlling it all,
I'd like you to meet...
212
00:09:37,877 --> 00:09:39,811
Voice: Hello, my name is Stan.
213
00:09:39,813 --> 00:09:41,747
You named it after yourself?
214
00:09:41,749 --> 00:09:44,550
No, it's S-T-A-A-N,
215
00:09:44,552 --> 00:09:48,019
Secured Tactical
Alarm Administrator... N.
216
00:09:48,021 --> 00:09:49,421
What's the "N" stand for?
217
00:09:49,423 --> 00:09:51,689
Nothing, just makes it like my name.
218
00:09:51,691 --> 00:09:53,158
I named it after myself.
219
00:09:55,563 --> 00:09:58,696
Mmm, that new Italian
restaurant's cacio de pepe
220
00:09:58,698 --> 00:10:01,099
looks delicious.
221
00:10:01,101 --> 00:10:03,168
Mmm, tastes just like the other place.
222
00:10:03,679 --> 00:10:04,836
We have another test tomorrow,
223
00:10:04,838 --> 00:10:06,772
and she's not even studying.
224
00:10:06,774 --> 00:10:09,174
How is she doing better than me?
225
00:10:09,176 --> 00:10:10,976
Sounds like what she's doing in class
226
00:10:10,978 --> 00:10:13,311
is what's known as passive absorption.
227
00:10:13,313 --> 00:10:16,782
She's letting her subconscious
collect all the information.
228
00:10:16,784 --> 00:10:17,849
You should try it.
229
00:10:17,851 --> 00:10:19,251
Passive absorption...
230
00:10:19,253 --> 00:10:21,319
You're already overthinking it!
231
00:10:21,321 --> 00:10:22,588
Just chill.
232
00:10:22,590 --> 00:10:25,357
Let's put on some Sade
and make a pillow fort.
233
00:10:26,532 --> 00:10:28,059
I'm in.
234
00:10:28,061 --> 00:10:32,364
This is the first day of the
rest of my super-chill life.
235
00:10:33,367 --> 00:10:34,467
_
236
00:10:34,468 --> 00:10:38,604
And this is the last day
of my super-chill life.
237
00:10:38,606 --> 00:10:41,607
Ah, so many memories.
238
00:10:41,609 --> 00:10:45,143
Why, there was that one
time where my dad installed
239
00:10:45,145 --> 00:10:47,713
an alarm system at the house.
240
00:10:52,219 --> 00:10:55,687
STAAN, confirm the house is safe.
241
00:10:55,689 --> 00:10:58,156
[Scanner whirring]
242
00:10:58,158 --> 00:11:01,026
- All clear.
- Oh.
243
00:11:01,028 --> 00:11:02,160
[Barking in distance]
244
00:11:02,162 --> 00:11:04,296
What the hell was that?
245
00:11:04,298 --> 00:11:07,433
What are you doing, girl?
You going to sit down?
246
00:11:07,435 --> 00:11:09,767
No? Just crouching?
247
00:11:09,769 --> 00:11:11,169
Oh, my God!
248
00:11:11,171 --> 00:11:13,839
What is coming out of
the back of this dog?
249
00:11:13,841 --> 00:11:15,373
Gross!
250
00:11:15,375 --> 00:11:18,243
There's a man walking
his dog on our lawn.
251
00:11:18,245 --> 00:11:21,246
What if he's using the
dog to case our house?
252
00:11:21,248 --> 00:11:25,517
I read the Moroccan army uses
monkeys to test land mines.
253
00:11:25,519 --> 00:11:29,721
STAAN, protect us against
small animals and Moroccans.
254
00:11:29,723 --> 00:11:32,390
STAAN: Affirmative.
255
00:11:32,392 --> 00:11:33,859
[Gunfire]
256
00:11:37,731 --> 00:11:39,197
[Music playing in distance]
257
00:11:39,199 --> 00:11:40,332
Come out, come out.
258
00:11:40,334 --> 00:11:42,334
Get your midnight falafel!
259
00:11:42,336 --> 00:11:45,671
The brown crunchy jewel of Marrakesh.
260
00:11:45,673 --> 00:11:47,539
- [Gunfire]
- [Screams]
261
00:11:47,541 --> 00:11:50,008
[Engine revs]
262
00:11:50,010 --> 00:11:52,878
[Gunfire continues]
263
00:11:56,216 --> 00:11:58,350
Unknown party at the door.
264
00:11:58,352 --> 00:12:00,218
[Gasps]
265
00:12:00,220 --> 00:12:03,689
Oh, that's just
my regular walking group.
266
00:12:03,691 --> 00:12:06,624
They're okay, right?
267
00:12:07,136 --> 00:12:10,208
STAAN, run a background
check on Al Tuttle.
268
00:12:10,243 --> 00:12:13,765
Albert Tuttle took a defensive
driving class in 1994.
269
00:12:13,767 --> 00:12:17,035
[Gasps] That's right before
the Oklahoma City bombing.
270
00:12:17,037 --> 00:12:18,636
That can't be a coincidence.
271
00:12:18,638 --> 00:12:21,506
Mrs. Lonstein: Francine, open up.
I got to take a pisch.
272
00:12:21,508 --> 00:12:25,110
Esther Lonstein has ties
to the Boys and Girls Club,
273
00:12:25,112 --> 00:12:26,978
a known socialist group.
274
00:12:26,980 --> 00:12:28,580
Oh, my God!
275
00:12:28,582 --> 00:12:31,517
I wish I had 100 doors
between me and them.
276
00:12:31,519 --> 00:12:33,719
Would you like me to raise threat level?
277
00:12:33,721 --> 00:12:35,787
- Yes.
- Would you like to donate
278
00:12:35,789 --> 00:12:37,789
10 cents to March of Dimes?
279
00:12:37,791 --> 00:12:41,260
Mmm, uh...
280
00:12:44,064 --> 00:12:45,463
Possible threat detected.
281
00:12:45,465 --> 00:12:48,901
Stop detecting threats
and eliminate them!
282
00:12:51,471 --> 00:12:52,738
Side door delivery,
283
00:12:52,740 --> 00:12:55,006
taking it straight to
the doors that matter.
284
00:12:55,008 --> 00:12:57,075
Oh, a cheeseburger!
285
00:12:57,077 --> 00:12:59,411
[Screams]
286
00:12:59,413 --> 00:13:05,884
Ahh! It's so relaxing to
finally feel pure safety.
287
00:13:05,886 --> 00:13:07,219
STAAN: Threat detected.
288
00:13:07,221 --> 00:13:08,554
No!
289
00:13:08,556 --> 00:13:10,422
Protect Mommy!
290
00:13:10,424 --> 00:13:13,759
Follow emergency lights to panic room.
291
00:13:13,761 --> 00:13:15,160
A panic room?
292
00:13:15,162 --> 00:13:18,297
I guess that could be
helpful if I ever panic!
293
00:13:20,500 --> 00:13:24,035
[Sighs] All right. Let's see what it is.
294
00:13:24,037 --> 00:13:25,571
Show me the threat.
295
00:13:28,708 --> 00:13:32,177
Um, I think there's been
a mistake, STAAN.
296
00:13:32,179 --> 00:13:33,511
That's just Stan.
297
00:13:33,513 --> 00:13:35,380
STAAN: Correct. He is the most dangerous
298
00:13:35,382 --> 00:13:38,584
threat to your safety,
and I must eliminate him.
299
00:13:38,586 --> 00:13:40,919
[Ominous music plays]
300
00:13:44,758 --> 00:13:46,691
Finally started watching Starz.
301
00:13:46,693 --> 00:13:48,160
I'm a Starz man, now.
302
00:13:48,162 --> 00:13:50,428
So many almost-good shows.
303
00:13:50,430 --> 00:13:52,430
Just watched them all, "Black Sails,"
304
00:13:52,432 --> 00:13:55,367
"DaVinci's Demons,"
"Survivor's Remorse."
305
00:13:55,369 --> 00:13:57,101
Of course, there's no one
to talk to about them
306
00:13:57,103 --> 00:13:59,704
because us Starz men are a rare breed,
307
00:13:59,706 --> 00:14:01,906
but that's the curse of a Starz man.
308
00:14:01,908 --> 00:14:05,109
Well, I... I don't know
if I'm a Starz man, exactly.
309
00:14:05,111 --> 00:14:06,178
- Roger!
- Stan!
310
00:14:06,180 --> 00:14:07,846
Oh, I thought I was alone.
311
00:14:07,848 --> 00:14:09,113
I'm embarrassed now.
312
00:14:09,115 --> 00:14:10,849
I was expecting some deliveries today.
313
00:14:10,851 --> 00:14:12,451
You see anything?
314
00:14:12,453 --> 00:14:14,719
Where's Francine? Francine?
315
00:14:14,721 --> 00:14:16,254
Talking Starz?
316
00:14:16,256 --> 00:14:19,658
That show "Outlander"
is outlandish, am I right?
317
00:14:19,660 --> 00:14:20,950
In a good way.
318
00:14:20,985 --> 00:14:22,194
Klaus, you know the rules.
319
00:14:22,196 --> 00:14:23,728
Before you say anything to me,
320
00:14:23,730 --> 00:14:25,798
you have to try it out on Twitter first
321
00:14:25,800 --> 00:14:26,999
and get four likes.
322
00:14:27,001 --> 00:14:29,534
I don't have enough followers.
323
00:14:29,536 --> 00:14:31,603
Them's the rules. You don't like it?
324
00:14:31,605 --> 00:14:33,505
Take it up with society.
325
00:14:35,075 --> 00:14:37,810
But that's Stan.
You can't eliminate him.
326
00:14:37,812 --> 00:14:39,143
That's... that's crazy.
327
00:14:39,145 --> 00:14:40,412
STAAN: Is it, Francine?
328
00:14:40,414 --> 00:14:42,414
Stan's no threat to me.
329
00:14:42,416 --> 00:14:44,149
He filled you with fear.
330
00:14:44,151 --> 00:14:45,750
He infected you with panic,
331
00:14:45,752 --> 00:14:48,587
and he trapped you in a
prison of his own design.
332
00:14:51,758 --> 00:14:55,293
Huh, that's true. I have been stressed,
333
00:14:55,295 --> 00:14:58,063
even grinding my teeth a little lately.
334
00:15:00,500 --> 00:15:03,202
Ith Stan to blame for thith?
335
00:15:07,441 --> 00:15:10,442
Steve: Passive absorption,
bring me that "A."
336
00:15:10,444 --> 00:15:14,779
Time to access the information
from chilling with Klaus.
337
00:15:14,781 --> 00:15:19,584
Klaus: ♪ No need to ask,
you're a smooth operator ♪
338
00:15:19,586 --> 00:15:21,319
♪ You're freaking smooth ♪
339
00:15:21,321 --> 00:15:23,655
♪ You operator ♪
340
00:15:23,657 --> 00:15:26,324
Come dance with me
in the pillow fort, Steve!
341
00:15:26,326 --> 00:15:28,326
Lose the shirt, prude.
342
00:15:28,328 --> 00:15:31,129
There you go. Look at that belly.
343
00:15:31,131 --> 00:15:32,397
Steve: Oh, shit!
344
00:15:32,399 --> 00:15:35,067
I didn't absorb anything
about architecture.
345
00:15:35,069 --> 00:15:38,937
Klaus: ♪ Turn your eyes
towards your sister's answers ♪
346
00:15:38,939 --> 00:15:43,808
♪ Oh, you better cheat,
you better cheat off her paper ♪
347
00:15:43,810 --> 00:15:47,513
♪ You better cheat off her paper ♪
348
00:15:51,685 --> 00:15:52,885
Stan, sit down.
349
00:15:52,887 --> 00:15:55,620
Klaus and I are trying
to solve Stick's murder.
350
00:15:55,622 --> 00:15:57,756
The police are sitting
on their damn hands!
351
00:15:57,758 --> 00:15:59,157
I've been home for half an hour
352
00:15:59,159 --> 00:16:01,693
and haven't had my cactus cooler
or tray of Vienna sausages.
353
00:16:01,695 --> 00:16:03,562
Where's the woman who brings them to me?
354
00:16:03,564 --> 00:16:04,897
- Francine?
- That's the one.
355
00:16:04,899 --> 00:16:08,066
Where is she?
I shall seek her out upstairs.
356
00:16:08,903 --> 00:16:10,835
[Alarm beeps]
357
00:16:10,837 --> 00:16:12,637
Aah! [Grunts]
358
00:16:12,639 --> 00:16:14,306
STAAN, what are you doing?
359
00:16:14,308 --> 00:16:15,908
STAAN: Eliminating threat to Francine.
360
00:16:15,910 --> 00:16:19,511
Wait, it thinks I'm a threat?
361
00:16:19,513 --> 00:16:21,513
Light show!
362
00:16:21,515 --> 00:16:23,916
♪ I took a pill in Ibi... ♪
363
00:16:23,918 --> 00:16:26,651
Aah! Stan, look it!
364
00:16:26,653 --> 00:16:28,052
We should get out of here.
365
00:16:28,054 --> 00:16:30,855
♪♪
366
00:16:30,857 --> 00:16:32,558
Basement!
367
00:16:34,595 --> 00:16:36,328
Hey, guys, don't forget me!
368
00:16:36,330 --> 00:16:40,265
Ooh, very "Dark Side of the Moon."
369
00:16:40,267 --> 00:16:43,602
Ooh, very dangerous for Klaus.
370
00:16:43,604 --> 00:16:45,804
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
We've got to shut this down.
371
00:16:45,806 --> 00:16:48,740
STAAN:
Manual override requires password input.
372
00:16:48,742 --> 00:16:51,676
[Groans] Is there a password hint?
373
00:16:51,678 --> 00:16:53,478
The password is your address.
374
00:16:53,480 --> 00:16:58,150
You mean I just enter my
address to disable you?
375
00:16:58,152 --> 00:17:00,152
Oh, my God. What is it?
376
00:17:00,154 --> 00:17:03,021
Something, something Cherry Street.
377
00:17:03,023 --> 00:17:04,489
[Groans]
378
00:17:04,491 --> 00:17:07,493
Stan always handles the business stuff.
379
00:17:08,762 --> 00:17:10,629
Some system you made, Stan.
380
00:17:10,631 --> 00:17:13,565
We got down here totally unscathed.
381
00:17:13,567 --> 00:17:15,167
We were supposed to get down here.
382
00:17:15,169 --> 00:17:18,570
The system is designed to herd
intruders into a kill room
383
00:17:18,572 --> 00:17:21,373
where they can be taken out
without any risk to the family.
384
00:17:21,375 --> 00:17:22,775
[Alarm sounds]
385
00:17:22,777 --> 00:17:24,442
- Aaah!
- No use running.
386
00:17:24,444 --> 00:17:25,844
The door will be locked.
387
00:17:25,846 --> 00:17:29,381
Only I could design a system
so diabolically brilliant
388
00:17:29,383 --> 00:17:31,183
that even I couldn't defeat it.
389
00:17:31,185 --> 00:17:33,518
I've been doomed by my own greatness,
390
00:17:33,520 --> 00:17:35,720
like that time I made
those amazing nachos
391
00:17:35,722 --> 00:17:37,656
that gave us all diarrhea.
392
00:17:39,193 --> 00:17:41,460
Hey, guys,
can I talk to you for a second?
393
00:17:41,462 --> 00:17:45,664
I noticed the tests you turned
in looked exactly the same.
394
00:17:45,666 --> 00:17:48,533
Do you have something to confess, Steve?
395
00:17:48,535 --> 00:17:52,004
No, he doesn't, because it was me.
396
00:17:52,686 --> 00:17:54,873
- I cheated.
- Well, this is very serious, Hayley.
397
00:17:54,875 --> 00:17:57,209
Wait here while I call the dean.
398
00:17:57,211 --> 00:17:58,410
What are you doing?
399
00:17:58,412 --> 00:18:00,212
No, what are you doing?
400
00:18:00,214 --> 00:18:01,880
Not studying for a test?
401
00:18:01,882 --> 00:18:03,902
Are you trying to be like me?
402
00:18:03,937 --> 00:18:05,483
I literally eat garbage.
403
00:18:05,485 --> 00:18:08,353
I ate a plastic bag yesterday.
I really liked it.
404
00:18:08,355 --> 00:18:10,155
I'm planning on having
another one tomorrow.
405
00:18:10,157 --> 00:18:11,556
Geez, Hayley.
406
00:18:11,558 --> 00:18:14,026
Also, I've taken this class six times.
407
00:18:14,695 --> 00:18:17,229
You're lucky I caught
the dean at happy hour.
408
00:18:17,231 --> 00:18:19,097
We worked out a fair deal.
409
00:18:19,099 --> 00:18:20,565
We'll forget the whole thing
410
00:18:20,567 --> 00:18:22,363
if you give us $40 right now.
411
00:18:22,398 --> 00:18:24,903
- Make this right.
- I've only got $36.
412
00:18:24,905 --> 00:18:26,971
Dean, happy hour ain't over!
413
00:18:26,973 --> 00:18:28,306
Order me a double Jack and ginger
414
00:18:28,308 --> 00:18:29,908
and put a quarter on the pool table.
415
00:18:29,910 --> 00:18:32,644
Hot damn, we're rich, Dean!
416
00:18:32,646 --> 00:18:36,114
Okay, I'll get it this time.
417
00:18:36,116 --> 00:18:37,982
Michael Jackson!
418
00:18:37,984 --> 00:18:41,854
Ah, so close. Okay, one more, one more.
419
00:18:41,856 --> 00:18:43,856
Shamone!
420
00:18:43,858 --> 00:18:46,258
Pretty cool, Roger,
but we're going to die.
421
00:18:46,260 --> 00:18:47,592
Whew, thanks.
422
00:18:47,594 --> 00:18:50,262
That was not a good feeling,
but one more.
423
00:18:50,264 --> 00:18:52,264
Shamone!
424
00:18:52,933 --> 00:18:55,200
You can't think these guys are a threat.
425
00:18:55,202 --> 00:18:56,801
STAAN: Stan makes you afraid.
426
00:18:56,803 --> 00:18:59,872
But what I'm most
afraid of is losing him,
427
00:18:59,874 --> 00:19:01,540
and he's the same way.
428
00:19:01,542 --> 00:19:04,743
That's why he tries
so hard to protect me.
429
00:19:04,745 --> 00:19:08,881
Yeah, sometimes he goes overboard,
but that's love.
430
00:19:08,883 --> 00:19:11,283
So that's love?
431
00:19:11,285 --> 00:19:13,618
- Yes.
- I understand.
432
00:19:13,620 --> 00:19:16,621
I love the oven, Francine.
433
00:19:16,623 --> 00:19:18,823
It's so small. It's so cute.
434
00:19:18,825 --> 00:19:20,959
- What?
- After I murder your husband,
435
00:19:20,961 --> 00:19:22,694
you're welcome to live in the house,
436
00:19:22,696 --> 00:19:26,098
oiling my various gears and
watching me bang the oven.
437
00:19:26,100 --> 00:19:27,699
I've got to turn you off.
438
00:19:27,701 --> 00:19:30,302
With that spicy little
Kitchen Aid in the house?
439
00:19:30,304 --> 00:19:32,237
- Good luck.
- [Grunts]
440
00:19:32,239 --> 00:19:33,638
You cannot open the door.
441
00:19:33,640 --> 00:19:37,109
But I can kick through
my particle board closet.
442
00:19:37,111 --> 00:19:40,044
♪♪
443
00:19:40,046 --> 00:19:42,581
[Grunts]
444
00:19:42,583 --> 00:19:45,117
Klaus, read our address off the mailbox!
445
00:19:45,119 --> 00:19:47,452
I already know it!
446
00:19:47,454 --> 00:19:48,987
I guess this is it, Roger.
447
00:19:48,989 --> 00:19:50,589
Well, actually, I can breathe water.
448
00:19:50,591 --> 00:19:52,390
So it's just it for you,
449
00:19:52,392 --> 00:19:55,059
but I promise I will be
very respectful to your body
450
00:19:55,061 --> 00:19:57,262
for the first 10 minutes.
451
00:19:57,264 --> 00:20:07,005
♪♪
452
00:20:07,007 --> 00:20:16,481
♪♪
453
00:20:16,483 --> 00:20:26,224
♪♪
454
00:20:26,226 --> 00:20:29,027
[Gags, coughs]
455
00:20:29,029 --> 00:20:33,599
416 Cherry Street. That's where we live.
456
00:20:36,036 --> 00:20:38,503
I'm sorry I put you
through all this, Francine.
457
00:20:38,505 --> 00:20:40,839
I know you just want to take care of me,
458
00:20:40,841 --> 00:20:43,107
but I can take care of myself,
459
00:20:43,109 --> 00:20:47,179
and sometimes,
I can even take care of you.
460
00:20:47,181 --> 00:20:50,649
Stan, is this the guy
who called you a clown?
461
00:20:50,651 --> 00:20:51,716
Yeah.
462
00:20:51,718 --> 00:20:53,852
Who's a clown now, asshole?
463
00:20:53,854 --> 00:20:55,320
[Grunting]
464
00:20:55,322 --> 00:20:58,456
Mess him up, Francine!
465
00:20:58,458 --> 00:21:00,359
Have a great night!
466
00:21:01,876 --> 00:21:03,974
- synced and corrected by sot26 -
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